Speaker 1: Brought to you by the all new twenty fourteen Toyota Corolla.
Speaker 1: Welcome to you stuff you should know from HowStuffWorks dot Com.
Speaker 2: Hey, and welcome to the podcast, The Very Special Podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm Josh Clark, Charles Bryant, Jerry Rowling, and we're here.
Speaker 1: The Gang's all here.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh oh that was hearty. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Man, this is one of my favorite episodes of the year.
Speaker 1: This and Halloween.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Typically we're recording this one a little early, I feel like,
Speaker 1: but it's okay.
Speaker 2: Are you sure we can Postpon's okay? All right, let's
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm excited about this.
Speaker 1: I think this is is July. This is it weird December? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, at least we waited until December. Yeah. This
Speaker 2: is a good way to kick off the season for us.
Speaker 1: Agreed.
Speaker 2: So we have like a whole month to just feel great.
Speaker 2: That's right, that's what the this is all about, Chuck,
Speaker 2: Feeling great. Yeah, that's that's the Christmas spirit. Feeling great,
Speaker 2: drinking hot buttered drum. Yeah that's man. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: That put me in a mood for it. I've never
Speaker 2: had one. I haven't either.
Speaker 1: Well, I am going to this year.
Speaker 2: I think I will be joining you.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you actually put butter in a drink. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just thought it was called that because it was
Speaker 1: like buttery or something.
Speaker 2: Like a buttery nipple. Yeah, yeah, that didn't no butter
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 1: It sure doesn't, all right, but that's coming up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's not get ahead of her.
Speaker 1: No, no, we don't want to spoil the hot buttered rum segment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we just wanted to say welcome to the Christmas
Speaker 2: Extravaganza twenty thirteen. That's right, So Chuck, let's kick it
Speaker 2: all off.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You ever heard of a little diddy called Rudolph the
Speaker 2: Red Nose reindeer?
Speaker 1: Did he have a very shiny nouse? Yes, he did,
Speaker 1: and if you saw it you might even say it glows.
Speaker 2: I think that you could probably say that and people
Speaker 2: they would they'd agree.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely have heard of this.
Speaker 2: Okay, then you might not know that that's actually based
Speaker 2: on a little poem from just a few decades ago.
Speaker 2: It's not that old, you know, so much of Christmas
Speaker 2: stuff is very very old. Sure, but our friends over
Speaker 2: at Snopes got to the bottom of the origin story
Speaker 2: of Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we helped, we use their material, but they
Speaker 1: didn't get to the bottom of it. This is the
Speaker 1: real story that is well known.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, well it's not like they cracked the case
Speaker 2: Merry Christmas Snopes.
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, so Rudolph, we're being coy. I know
Speaker 1: all about this story, but the reason.
Speaker 2: I had no idea the reason really Yeah, huh okay.
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't know all the details, but I
Speaker 1: knew that it was I knew it was not the version.
Speaker 1: And this is why we use Snopes because a lot
Speaker 1: of people have heard the story that it was written
Speaker 1: by someone to provide comfort to his daughter as her
Speaker 1: mother was dying of cancer. Yeah, and then they sold
Speaker 1: it to a department store.
Speaker 2: Chain and cashed in.
Speaker 1: That's right, not true.
Speaker 2: No, some of the facts are there, like the man's
Speaker 2: wife was dying of cancer, or he did run it
Speaker 2: by his daughter.
Speaker 1: True, but and there was a department store in Wall exactly.
Speaker 2: But it was just it's just a little off. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So let's talk about this. There is a man named
Speaker 2: Robert May and he worked for a company called Montgomery Ward, Chicago,
Speaker 2: Illinois based department store. That's right, and every year Montgomery
Speaker 2: Ward used to give out coloring books Christmas theme coloring
Speaker 2: books to kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they'd buy them and just give them out as
Speaker 1: a little promo gimmick.
Speaker 2: Right, And the head of the copywriting division said, you
Speaker 2: know what, we could save a lot of money if
Speaker 2: we just made our own coloring book. But how are
Speaker 2: we going to do this? What will the story be?
Speaker 2: Robert May, you're very good at this kind of thing
Speaker 2: of writing rhyming couplets for children. Why don't you get
Speaker 2: to work on this? That's right?
Speaker 1: And he stamped out a cigarette and threw down his
Speaker 1: last glass of scotch because it was nineteen thirty nine
Speaker 1: and he was at.
Speaker 2: Work, right, you know, at Montgomery Ward.
Speaker 1: That's right. And he said, sure, I'll take a stab
Speaker 1: at this. And he kind of nicked a little bit
Speaker 1: from the Tale of the Ugly Duckling. Yeah, and nicked
Speaker 1: a little bit from his own childhood, because apparently he
Speaker 1: was a bit of a small shy child. Yeah, on
Speaker 1: the outskirts, let's say, of the popular crowd, the fringe,
Speaker 1: the fringe. And he said, you know what, I think
Speaker 1: I can use this for a story about a little
Speaker 1: reindeer who's also on the outside and on the fringe.
Speaker 2: But what's the name?
Speaker 1: I'm chuck, Well, this was I think we should use
Speaker 1: an a literative name, is what he thought.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because reindeer. Sure, so the first name has to
Speaker 2: be begin with an R raloh.
Speaker 1: No, he tried ralloh and they said, you know, that's
Speaker 1: a little too care free. Then they went with Reginald,
Speaker 1: and he said that's a little too British. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: let's just go full German with Rudolph.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in nineteen thirty nine, why not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought that was a little odd that he
Speaker 1: turned down a German name in favor of or a
Speaker 1: British name in favor of a German name. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm sure our British friends find it odd too,
Speaker 2: that's right.
Speaker 1: So then he went on and wrote the story and
Speaker 1: rhyming couplets and did read it to his four year
Speaker 1: four year old daughter, Barbara, who loved it. I think
Speaker 1: it's funny that there's there were four year old's named
Speaker 1: Barbara right back in the day. Such an old lady name. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she loved it. And his boss was like, I like it,
Speaker 1: but this whole red nose thing, is this a drunk reindeer?
Speaker 1: Because you know, the old gin blossom. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's Christmas appropriate.
Speaker 2: Right, And he said, I don't have a problem with it,
Speaker 2: but our customers, Robert May suspected that it was really
Speaker 2: the guy's reservations. Yeah, So he grabbed one of his
Speaker 2: buddies in the copyright apartment and artist and illustrator and
Speaker 2: took him to the zoo and said, see those deer,
Speaker 2: make them cute and with a red nose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet it's. His first reaction too, was like,
Speaker 1: you gotta be kidding me. Yeah, No one's gonna think
Speaker 1: this reindeer is drunk, you jerk.
Speaker 2: Right exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, with these drawings in hand, these illustrations of a
Speaker 2: cute little reindeer with a red nose and normally red nose,
Speaker 2: Robert May got the sign off to go ahead with this,
Speaker 2: and he produced this little coloring booklet called Rudolph the
Speaker 2: Red Nose Reindeer, and it was an instant success. Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the end of nineteen forty six they had given
Speaker 1: out a total of six million copies. And then, of
Speaker 1: course licensing started to poke their red nose in there
Speaker 1: and say, hey, we'd love to license Rudolf because this
Speaker 1: is a great story. Kids love it. And the creator
Speaker 1: was like, that's awesome, except I don't own it because
Speaker 1: I work for a company and anything I create as
Speaker 1: owned by the company. Even though I created it, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to see any money from it. Right, that
Speaker 1: must be terrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so he went along his saddened way and
Speaker 2: then thought, you know what, maybe I'm going to for
Speaker 2: once in my life, stand up for myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm in deep, deep, crushing debt because of the bills
Speaker 2: that I had to pay to try to keep my
Speaker 2: wife alive, who died of cancer. Yeah, it's been seven
Speaker 2: years of living under this debt. It's just me and
Speaker 2: my daughter. I created Rudolph, let me go ask And
Speaker 2: he went to the head of Montgomery Ward Suel Avery,
Speaker 2: and in what proves there are Christmas miracles? Yeah, Suell
Speaker 2: Avery said, you know what, We're going to sign the
Speaker 2: copyright over to you, and he did.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's remarkable to think that a company would revert
Speaker 1: rights to a successful thing created by a person. It's awesome,
Speaker 1: but I can't identify with how that's possible. I think
Speaker 1: it was a different day and age, I guess.
Speaker 2: Right, But I think also Chuck, we look back at
Speaker 2: Rudolph and think it's just this cultural icon. I think
Speaker 2: in nineteen forty six or forty seven, it hadn't blown
Speaker 2: up like that yet. It was still popular, but it
Speaker 2: wasn't until after Robert May secured the copyright. Yeah, that
Speaker 2: the song that we now know and love was recorded. Yeah,
Speaker 2: written by his brother in law. Yeah, Johnny Marks just
Speaker 2: happened to know how to do that kind of things right.
Speaker 2: And Johnny Marks actually rewrote a lot of the story,
Speaker 2: a lot of the details of the story. Same with
Speaker 2: the nineteen sixty five stop motion animation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was the burl Ives narrated show. It's still
Speaker 1: one of the greatest Christmas specials ever, so great and
Speaker 1: they did take some liberties though, which I thought this
Speaker 1: was probably one of the more interesting parts of the story.
Speaker 1: The original story. The Rudolph wasn't one of Santa's Reindeer.
Speaker 2: No, not at all.
Speaker 1: He didn't live in the North Bowl, he wasn't part
Speaker 1: of that whole.
Speaker 2: Clan, and he wasn't a kid of any of the
Speaker 2: reindeer of Santa's Reindeer, had nothing to do with them.
Speaker 2: His parents weren't embarrassed by his abnormality. No, as a
Speaker 2: matter of fact, it says in this article that he
Speaker 2: was raised in a very healthy environment. Yeah, he had
Speaker 2: a positive self attitude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he wasn't like in the cartoon or in the
Speaker 1: stop motion man, he's just like a sad sack because
Speaker 1: he's such a freak, right, you know.
Speaker 2: The original Rudolph was totally fine with himself.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And the other big difference is Sanna discovers Rudolph
Speaker 2: by accident.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just delivering gifts on Christmas night and spots
Speaker 1: Rudolph in his room from the Red Glow and it
Speaker 1: happens to be a foggy night. So he's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I think I can use this kid to complete my
Speaker 1: rounds tonight.
Speaker 2: And he did. And when they got back, Santa had
Speaker 2: some words for rudol Off. In the original poem by you,
Speaker 2: last Night's journey was actually bossed. Without you, I'm certain
Speaker 2: we'd all been lost.
Speaker 1: And the great news is is that May lived the
Speaker 1: rest of his life quite successful and even went back
Speaker 1: to work at Montgomery Ward. And yeah, it seemed like
Speaker 1: he had a like, really good life after that.
Speaker 2: He didn't have to work anymore, but he loved what
Speaker 2: he did, so he went back to work. Good for him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that, my friend, is a story of Rudolph
Speaker 1: the Red Nose Reindeer.
Speaker 2: Chuck. We mentioned Christmas miracles in the Rudolph part. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was something that happened last year in twenty twelve,
Speaker 2: Christmas twenty twelve that a lot of people said it
Speaker 2: was a Christmas miracle. At the very least, it was
Speaker 2: a sweet Christmas thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: There's a little girl named Mia Maya. I'm not sure,
Speaker 2: am I a?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: And she was seven at the time, and she lived
Speaker 2: in New York City and we're gonna call her Maya. Okay, Maya. No,
Speaker 2: we're gonna call her Maya. Okay. Mia had a dog
Speaker 2: named Marley, who was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, which
Speaker 2: were very cute, adorable sweet dogs. Yeah, and uh, Maya,
Speaker 2: did I say may or Maya? I think he said Maya.
Speaker 2: I think I said Maya. Ultimately, okay. Mia and her
Speaker 2: mom were shopping for Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and
Speaker 2: they left Marley tied up outside of the store they
Speaker 2: were in, and when they came out, he was gone.
Speaker 1: That's right. And thanks to video surveillance another Christmas miracle.
Speaker 1: They saw that this jerk stole the dog.
Speaker 2: Stole the dog. Did you see the surveillance he picked
Speaker 2: it up and walked away with it. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: The dog was clearly not happy to be manhandled by
Speaker 2: this guy. No, but it's like, I'm a King Charles Spaniel.
Speaker 2: What can I do?
Speaker 1: That's right? So this sounds like not a Christmas miracle, Josh,
Speaker 1: But it sounds like the worst Christmas story ever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was Christmas Eve that this happened. The girl
Speaker 2: said that she couldn't sleep that night. It was just
Speaker 2: too hard, she said, which is so sad, and she'd
Speaker 2: lost her best friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: All she wanted for Christmas was her dog.
Speaker 1: Back, and she got it and her two front teeth.
Speaker 2: Right, she's that kind of kid, exactly. So she got
Speaker 2: her dog back thanks to a very nice lady who
Speaker 2: that same day that the dog was stolen, was walking
Speaker 2: through Union Square walking her own two dogs, and she
Speaker 2: noticed a man with a shivering little dog, King Charles Spaniel,
Speaker 2: and she just thought they didn't go together. The guy
Speaker 2: was on drugs and this King Charles Spaniel looked like
Speaker 2: it was too good friend.
Speaker 1: Basically, well, and it was for sale. Yeah, on Christmas.
Speaker 1: So she inquired weird.
Speaker 2: She inquired after the dog, and the guy said, I've
Speaker 2: had this dog for years. I just need some money
Speaker 2: and I hate to part with it, but yeah, well
Speaker 2: I will if you give me some money. So the
Speaker 2: lady actually coughed up two hundred and twenty bucks cash
Speaker 2: right there on the spot and bought this dog from
Speaker 2: the guy, which is pretty sweet in and of itself.
Speaker 2: But she took it a step further.
Speaker 1: That's right. She took it to the vet.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The dog was microchipped. Yeah, and she got it back
Speaker 1: to their owner.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The vet called the family and said, we have
Speaker 2: your dog on Christmas Day. It's a Christmas miracle. And
Speaker 2: within a few minutes, Mia and her mom went and
Speaker 2: were reunited with Marley.
Speaker 1: Yep. And the jerk was arrested.
Speaker 2: Brandon Bacon. Yeah, that is a dog stealing Grinch's name.
Speaker 2: If I've ever heard Brandon Bacon.
Speaker 1: Yep. And that is the story unless you have anything
Speaker 1: else of the returned King Charles Spaniel on Christmas twenty twelve. Okay, dude,
Speaker 1: now we're to an interesting part of the show where
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about modern day mal Sanna's I
Speaker 1: grew up with what I think was the best mall
Speaker 1: Sanna of all time.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a pretty weighty statement.
Speaker 1: The dude at North to cabmol in the nineteen seventies,
Speaker 1: I can't remember his name was the most realistic looking
Speaker 1: Sannah I've ever seen. Yeah, he was amazing. He was
Speaker 1: my Sanna. And I will try and find some photos
Speaker 1: to post when we released this of this dude. He
Speaker 1: was great.
Speaker 2: I didn't have a Sannah.
Speaker 1: He's departed now, but he really are.
Speaker 2: You were you like friends with this guy's family or something.
Speaker 1: No, but they did like a big article on him
Speaker 1: when he died because he was like.
Speaker 2: Oh he was that good. Huh.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He was known as like the best Sanna, the
Speaker 1: best fake Sanna in all the land.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he really he looked the part.
Speaker 1: I mean, really really look like Sanna, not creepy, all
Speaker 1: natural with the beard and hair, like there was no
Speaker 1: fake fakery going on.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was really really great. And that's a job,
Speaker 1: and you can make some decent money doing it.
Speaker 2: You certainly can't, and you can also cough up.
Speaker 1: A little money trying to get there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, depending on how much you want to create the
Speaker 2: illusion that you are Santa himself. You're going to have
Speaker 2: to spend some dough. A Santa suit, a good one
Speaker 2: is going to run you about two grand. The boots
Speaker 2: themselves are going to be about eight hundred bucks.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Leather gloves, the white ones three hundred bucks. Don't think
Speaker 2: that hat is free white leather gloves.
Speaker 1: Wait, what Santa? Have you ever seen that wears leather gloves?
Speaker 1: That's creepy.
Speaker 2: Really, you've never seen Santa wearing supple white calfskin gloves.
Speaker 1: Oh man, we like the little white cotton gloves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I've seen too.
Speaker 1: I think that's mainly to prevent germs I think.
Speaker 2: Too, which I didn't know. And it's also to make
Speaker 2: your hands very visible at all times from what I understand.
Speaker 1: Oh really it's a lot. Oh yeah, gotcha. Where's Sanna's hand?
Speaker 1: It's right here.
Speaker 2: See.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Interesting, the white really stands out against the red.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I never thought about that.
Speaker 2: I didn't think about it either. I read it elsewhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Interesting. All right, so you've laid down some serious cash.
Speaker 1: If you want a really good theatrical beard. Let's say
Speaker 1: you like that white one in the corner made out
Speaker 1: of yak hair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I mean, if you want a good sand
Speaker 2: of beard, you have to go to the Yax.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be about a grand to twelve thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Or maybe you can grow your own big beard. It's
Speaker 1: still gonna cost you a little money to keep it
Speaker 1: like perfectly white. Yes, you don't want see you red
Speaker 1: in there, No, no salt and pepper. No, you want
Speaker 1: to have a strictly white beard. And that'll cost you
Speaker 1: a little bit of money.
Speaker 2: Too, Yeah, six hundred bucks. I mean, think about it.
Speaker 2: It's like hair coloring, right, and you want to go
Speaker 2: to a good colorist. White's probably the hardest thing to
Speaker 2: color hair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And this is all if you just want one
Speaker 1: of each of these things, you're gonna be spending that money.
Speaker 1: But as a Santa, you need backup wardrobe. Some of
Speaker 1: these guys have like five or six of these outfits.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Apparently according to a poll by the Kringle Group,
Speaker 2: which is basically a trade industry for santas, sure they
Speaker 2: the twenty percent of Malsanas have five or six whole
Speaker 2: suits tucked away in case of emergency.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's like upwards of twenty grand or more Yeah,
Speaker 1: an investment to be a Santa.
Speaker 2: And they said in the same pole that most Sannas
Speaker 2: have two at least.
Speaker 1: At least two sure, yeah, because you know, you get
Speaker 1: Pete on at noon, you gotta go change so you
Speaker 1: can get Pete on again at three.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If the Kringle Group does anything, they conduct poles
Speaker 2: of Santa and they found that a third a third
Speaker 2: of Malsana's have had a child pee on their lap.
Speaker 1: I would think that happens once a year at least, sure,
Speaker 1: don't you think.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was surprised. It seemed a little low
Speaker 2: to me too. I thought so, But it's not just
Speaker 2: pe like, there's all sorts of ways that kids spread
Speaker 2: their germs.
Speaker 1: Yes, the Kringle Group said seventy five percent of Santa's
Speaker 1: get sneezed on at least once, and forty four percent
Speaker 1: are sneezed on or coughed on up to fifteen times
Speaker 1: a day.
Speaker 2: Fifteen And I'll bet that's an accurate amount too, because
Speaker 2: I'll bet you count every time. Well it's number fourteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah today. Well, and there's no parent that with the
Speaker 1: kid is like really sick and they're like, well, we
Speaker 1: just won't do that this year. The parent's like, nope, right,
Speaker 1: we're going Yeah, happy or.
Speaker 2: Not get out of bed. The kid also may not
Speaker 2: only p on you, cough on you, sneeze on you.
Speaker 2: He may scream and tearor on you. And we actually
Speaker 2: have a pretty great slide show on our website called
Speaker 2: twenty three photos of terrified little kids on Santa Claus's lap.
Speaker 2: You go to Stuff you Should Know dot com.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got one. I need to add to that.
Speaker 1: I need to find it at my mom's house and
Speaker 1: scan it. But there is one verified picture of me
Speaker 1: classic case, screaming bloody murder on Santa's lap.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd like to see that.
Speaker 1: It's good. You might also if you want to be
Speaker 1: a Sandy, you might want to go to Santa school.
Speaker 1: There are many, not many, they're a handful. But the
Speaker 1: Charles W. Howard School in Albion, New York open in
Speaker 1: nineteen thirty seven and it is the Harvard of Santa Schools.
Speaker 2: It was opened by the guy who played Santa in
Speaker 2: the Macy's Parade for years and years in Your Charles Howard. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he did open it in Albion, but it was
Speaker 2: later on taking over and moved to Midland, Michigan, which
Speaker 2: is where it is now. And it is the most
Speaker 2: adorable thing you've ever seen in your life, is it?
Speaker 2: It really is? Okay, like the houses on campus Sana Village, Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: All of the Sanna's there refer to one another as
Speaker 2: like Santa Chuck and Santa Josh. And they all have
Speaker 2: like personalized vanity plates like ho ho wan and sure,
Speaker 2: things like that.
Speaker 1: See the gloves.
Speaker 2: They also learn quite a bit of stuff like how
Speaker 2: does like Christmas terms in sign language?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the history of Christmas, just so you can acquainted with,
Speaker 1: like the real story.
Speaker 2: History of Santa Claus. Sure, history of Saint Nick. Apparently
Speaker 2: kids asked Santa how old he is? A lot and
Speaker 2: Saint Nick was born seventeen hundred years ago, so you
Speaker 2: gotta be quick on your feet.
Speaker 1: Did they say that?
Speaker 2: I guess some of them do. Others are asked whether
Speaker 2: reindeer boys or girls. That's something kids always want to know,
Speaker 2: is that a boy or girl?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: And it turns out the reindeer should all be girls
Speaker 2: because only female reindeer have antlers around Christmas time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Santa has to describe that to the children.
Speaker 2: Yes, and Santa learns that at the Charles W. Howard
Speaker 2: Santa Claus School in Midland, Michigan.
Speaker 1: Awesome. I saw a story. I'm gonna have to dig
Speaker 1: that up for next year about these two warring Santa
Speaker 1: Where was that? It was two Santa's basically that were
Speaker 1: I think vying for the presidency of that group. You
Speaker 1: were talking about the Kringle group. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: it got really ugly. That's terrible. Yeah, it was a
Speaker 1: great story that I read a few years ago. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find that and save it for next year.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So what does this all mean in terms of
Speaker 1: return on your investment? ROI? As I like to say.
Speaker 2: Here, that's what Santa cares about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, can you get rich?
Speaker 2: Play Santa? Are you asking me? Yeah? I will answer
Speaker 2: that no. But you can make a decent enough living,
Speaker 2: especially if you're just working for two or three months,
Speaker 2: four months these days with the Christmas season starting earlier
Speaker 2: and earlier and earlier. Yeah, but just for this amount
Speaker 2: of time that you're kind of putting into it, you
Speaker 2: can make some Santa's make up to eighty grand more,
Speaker 2: make somewhere between eight grand and twelve twenty fifty grand.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and in your bigger cities that you're nicer malls,
Speaker 1: you're obviously going to find your better Santas that make
Speaker 1: the top dollar. If you live out in the middle
Speaker 1: of Kansas and you have a Hayseed mall, you might
Speaker 1: have kind of a crappy looking Santa that makes like
Speaker 1: twenty bucks an hour. Yeah, but hey, you got your Santa,
Speaker 1: and good for you. They all need to be supported
Speaker 1: in peed on with equal vigor. Chuck.
Speaker 2: Yes, we've now reached the point where we talk about
Speaker 2: hot buttered drum.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is pretty exciting. It is uh and it's
Speaker 1: old as the hills. It is as old of the hills.
Speaker 1: And this is this is something that taught me a
Speaker 1: lot about our history in this country, because I did
Speaker 1: not know that the United States was a huge rum
Speaker 1: producer back in the day.
Speaker 2: Yeah to prohibition. Yep, there's something called Medford rum, which
Speaker 2: was the pride of New England. That there's a there's
Speaker 2: a distiller that's like reaching the end of the distillation
Speaker 2: process as we speak. Yeah, I saw that he was
Speaker 2: about to release some Medford rum. Yeah, for the first
Speaker 2: time in a while, right, Yeah, Well well yeah, it's
Speaker 2: like defunked, and it's been defunk basically been since the
Speaker 2: since prohibition. Yeah, but at one time it was basically
Speaker 2: the the heart and soul of the colonial economy. And
Speaker 2: some people make the case that were it not for
Speaker 2: Medford rum, the colonists might not have had enough dough
Speaker 2: to fund the revolution.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, And I didn't know either. If you back
Speaker 1: in the day, if you went north of New Jersey,
Speaker 1: New York, that was like the house drink. You run
Speaker 1: to a pub and it was rum. Yeah, and it
Speaker 1: was dark and kind of funky.
Speaker 2: Apparently the rum was not the the taverns.
Speaker 1: No, well they were probably dark and funky too, but yeah,
Speaker 1: the rum was uh well, we'll get to that, but
Speaker 1: it was definitely dark rum.
Speaker 2: It would get ahead of ourselves here, Chuck. First, let's
Speaker 2: talk about the difference between a toddy and a sling,
Speaker 2: and one's cold pretty much. Yeah, when you call your
Speaker 2: drink a hot toddy, you're using a redundant term. Yeah,
Speaker 2: toddy's hot. Yeah, but you're not even really describing it. Well,
Speaker 2: when you're talking about whiskey, a little sugar, lemon, and bourbon,
Speaker 2: that's maybe a bourbon toddy. There's all kinds of totties,
Speaker 2: but a yeah, and hot buttered rum is a kind
Speaker 2: of toddy. A TOADI is the predecessor to the cocktail.
Speaker 2: And basically it's booze, water and sugar. And if it's hot,
Speaker 2: it's a toddy.
Speaker 1: If it's cold, it's a sling, like a Singapore sling exactly.
Speaker 1: Let's say so, hot buttered rum is in fact the toddy,
Speaker 1: and it's obviously was a hit back then and still
Speaker 1: today because it was cold and back then in New England,
Speaker 1: you know, you didn't have the insulation we have today,
Speaker 1: and you would you would want something to warm the belly,
Speaker 1: something maybe make you a little sleepy so you could
Speaker 1: fall asleep. And so what better to include in that
Speaker 1: toddy than.
Speaker 2: A little fat, a little bit of butter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they had plenty of cows, so they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: we got these churns, we got this butter laying around.
Speaker 1: It's really good stuff.
Speaker 2: I got a bunch of rum, got a.
Speaker 1: Bunch of tons of rum, and we have these hot
Speaker 1: seering pokers in the fire.
Speaker 2: Which I did not know about until this.
Speaker 1: That's pretty awesome and I'd love to make one like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know the original way, Oh, yeah, which we'll get
Speaker 1: to in a second. But they said, let's do all
Speaker 1: these in a glass and drink it. And it turns
Speaker 1: out it's delicious and buttery and puts you to sleep
Speaker 1: with a smile on your face.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: They have no idea who the first person was to
Speaker 2: put all of it together, but by the mid eighteenth
Speaker 2: century it was apparently all over New England. Sure, it
Speaker 2: was pretty much everywhere in the colonies.
Speaker 1: George Washington loved the stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And over time people have decided to kind of
Speaker 2: make it a little more fru food than the original version.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 2: So there's there's a very widespread hot buttered rum recipe
Speaker 2: that includes basically like a spice sweet batter where you
Speaker 2: whip butter, yeah, together with nutmeg, cinnamon, all that stuff
Speaker 2: and some sugar, and you replace the butter with that. Apparently.
Speaker 2: David Wondrich, who's a cocktail historian over at Esquire Magazine,
Speaker 2: says that if you do something like that in parts
Speaker 2: of Maine, you'll be labeled the communist.
Speaker 1: So he's anti batter. Yes, he is a straight up purist. Right, Okay,
Speaker 1: but we're gonna tell you how to make these things.
Speaker 1: But first we should talk about the ingredients. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: want to use unsalted butter, that's a big one. And
Speaker 1: you want to use good butter quality butter, not margarine
Speaker 1: or some shed spread. Right, you want to use like
Speaker 1: real butter, real nice unsalted butter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you want to the more milk fat, the better.
Speaker 2: And there was a guy who wrote the Gun Club
Speaker 2: Drink Book. His name is Charles Brown, and he suggested
Speaker 2: that in the hot Buttered Rum the butter was there
Speaker 2: merely to lubricate the mustache. The author of the article
Speaker 2: we read said, no, it's not the case. The butter
Speaker 2: is hagro part of this drink, So use the as
Speaker 2: the best butter you can put your hands on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it kind of softens the corners, the rough edges
Speaker 1: of this rum apparently. Yeah, some people include h cider
Speaker 1: an apple cider in their drink, which can be done.
Speaker 1: But the purists point out that's just another drink altogether. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't call it a hot buttered rum. No, it's something else.
Speaker 1: It's a hot sider rum right with butter.
Speaker 2: So, if you are a purist and you want to
Speaker 2: make an original og enjoyed by George Washington, Hot Buttered Rum,
Speaker 2: how do you make it?
Speaker 1: Well, you want to get dark rum?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the that is the key. Yeah, good butter
Speaker 2: is very important, but rum is really important. And you
Speaker 2: were saying that it was a little dark, a little
Speaker 2: funky back in the day, and luckily people are still
Speaker 2: making those kinds of rum today. You want some brown rum?
Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently, he says. The demirera RUMs from Guyana are
Speaker 1: really a nice way to go.
Speaker 2: They sure are.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had that?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, is it good?
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm not a big rum guy.
Speaker 1: I had a bad experience with it about eighteen years ago.
Speaker 2: Oh and you never recovered. Huh.
Speaker 1: I haven't really gone near it since there's I would though,
Speaker 1: for you know, it's been long enough.
Speaker 2: The kinds of rum that this guy's talking about, like
Speaker 2: anything from Guyana, it's like you could drink it neat
Speaker 2: it's good, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I used to, you know, worked at MEXICALI Grill
Speaker 1: in college and not recommending this people because it's not
Speaker 1: right to drink on the job, but we all drank
Speaker 1: on the job. Yeah, yeah, sure, we drank rum and
Speaker 1: cokes and that was where I drank a lot of
Speaker 1: my rum.
Speaker 2: You went one tok over the line there.
Speaker 1: No, we were we were good. It was a college.
Speaker 1: When you work at a college, barging me drinking while you're.
Speaker 2: Right, but what was your what was your bad experience?
Speaker 1: Then? I don't know. That wasn't from that, that was
Speaker 1: from gotcha? Myers rum in New Jersey?
Speaker 2: Oh gotcha? Yeah, Well Myers will work. It's a drum. Yeah,
Speaker 2: if you don't have to spend fifty bucks on rum, no,
Speaker 2: but if you wanna hot buttered rum isn't necessarily something
Speaker 2: you're drinking every night. So maybe this year spring for
Speaker 2: some decent rum. You'll have it around for a while.
Speaker 2: It doesn't really go bad.
Speaker 1: All right, So what's the recipe?
Speaker 2: The recipe is as follows, Chuck, you want two ounces
Speaker 2: of good rum, dark rum. You want three to four
Speaker 2: ounces of hot water, one teaspoon of raw sugar. You
Speaker 2: know that sugar and the raw stuff. Yeah that's dem ara.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, And then you want some really good unsalted
Speaker 2: butter softened.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Then what do you do?
Speaker 1: Well, there's a couple of ways. If you want to
Speaker 1: go super old school, you're gonna heat up your mug
Speaker 1: a little bit with some hot water. Just go ahead
Speaker 1: and get the mug nice and chilled or nice and warm.
Speaker 1: You don't want it chilled. You're gonna add your rum,
Speaker 1: sugar and water and about two tablespoons of that butter.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of butter. Yeah, and you want to
Speaker 1: take a hot poker from the fire and plunge it
Speaker 1: into your mixture until it starts bubbling. Yeah, be very
Speaker 1: careful when doing this. Yeah, I don't use your like
Speaker 1: fire poker because it's covered in ash.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't understand it. Like what poker
Speaker 2: are you gonna use?
Speaker 1: Well, you're your rum poker. You would have something strictly
Speaker 1: for this. Yeah, but let's get real, that's dangerous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is the modern days.
Speaker 2: So if you want to make one that's slightly less colonial,
Speaker 2: meaning it doesn't use a red hot poker to heat everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, get your tea kettle on pretty much.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Again, you warm like a heatproof mug with some water,
Speaker 2: hot hot water, and then you dump that out and
Speaker 2: you pour an ounce of water and some sugar and
Speaker 2: you stir it to dissolve, yeah, boiling water. Right after that,
Speaker 2: you add the rum, the rest of the water, and
Speaker 2: that butter. Two tablespoons. Man, that's a lot of butter.
Speaker 1: I know, I can't wait to try this, and.
Speaker 2: On both of them, you want to you want to
Speaker 2: grate some fresh nutmeg on top. Yeah, and there's your
Speaker 2: hot buttered room.
Speaker 1: If you want to be a communist in Maine and
Speaker 1: make your batter, uh, you make basically you make your
Speaker 1: spice butter sugar batter and that's sort of like just
Speaker 1: your base, and you can scoop that out and add
Speaker 1: it to each drink.
Speaker 2: Right, it stands in for the butter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's about let's say, if you want to make
Speaker 1: eight servings cup of brown sugar. Man, that's a lot.
Speaker 2: Eight servings. I'm sure there's not a zero missing.
Speaker 1: Seriously, one four ounce stick of unsalted butter, softened, one
Speaker 1: teaspoon of ground cinnamon, I want to half teaspoons of
Speaker 1: ground nutmeg, and one quarter teaspoon of clove. Mix that
Speaker 1: all together in a mixing bowl. And supposedly that it's
Speaker 1: eight servings of your batter. But sounds like it could
Speaker 1: go a little further.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that'll keep you up.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Maybe some people I've seen use ice cream in their batter.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, we just I don't know even I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's too far.
Speaker 1: Some might say two tablespoons of butter and a drink
Speaker 1: is too far.
Speaker 2: Some may and I think that's the point this holiday season.
Speaker 2: When you're enjoying a hot buttered rum, if your age
Speaker 2: is twenty one or older, you should adjust it however
Speaker 2: you like and make it your own so that it
Speaker 2: gives you a happy holiday season.
Speaker 1: Awesome, Okay, buddy, it's time to round out the Christmas
Speaker 1: episode with a reading. And we did this last year.
Speaker 1: What do we do? The Shoemaker or something? Little Kids
Speaker 1: in the Shoes did some story about some magical shoes
Speaker 1: that were made overnight or something.
Speaker 2: Oh about clothing elves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I can't remember the name of it, but
Speaker 1: it's very It's a classic Christmas story, as is the
Speaker 1: Gift of the Magi by O.
Speaker 2: Henry, who is one of my favorite authors of all time.
Speaker 1: Yeah really yeah, he makes a great any bar two
Speaker 1: he does, so now, folks, Merry Christmas. Twenty thirteen, a
Speaker 1: reading from Josh and Chuck. The Gift of the matchup
Speaker 1: one dollar and eighty seven cents. That was all, and
Speaker 1: sixty cents of it was in pennies. Penny saved one
Speaker 1: and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer, and
Speaker 1: the vegetable man and the butcher, until one's cheeks burned
Speaker 1: with a silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing
Speaker 1: implied three times. Della counted it one dollar and eighty
Speaker 1: seven cents, and the next day would be Christmas. There
Speaker 1: was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the
Speaker 1: shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it, which
Speaker 1: instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles,
Speaker 1: and smiles, with sniffles predominating, while the mistress of the
Speaker 1: home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second.
Speaker 1: Take a look at the home. A furnished flat at
Speaker 1: eight dollars per week did not exactly beggar description, but
Speaker 1: it certainly had that word on the lookout for the
Speaker 1: Mendicancy squad, go look out for those guys. And the
Speaker 1: vestibule below was a letterbox into which no letter would go,
Speaker 1: and an electric button for which no mortal finger could
Speaker 1: coax a ring. Also appertaining thereunto was a card bearing
Speaker 1: the name mister James Dillingham Young. The Dillingham had been
Speaker 1: flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity,
Speaker 1: when its possessor was being paid thirty dollars per week.
Speaker 1: Now when the income was shrunk to twenty dollars though,
Speaker 1: they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and
Speaker 1: unassuming d But whenever mister James Dillingham Young came home
Speaker 1: and reached his flat above, he was called Jim and
Speaker 1: greatly hugged by missus. James Dillingham Young already introduced to
Speaker 1: you as Della, which is all very good. Della finished
Speaker 1: her cry and attended to her cheeks with the powder rag.
Speaker 1: She stood by the window and looked out dully at
Speaker 1: a gray cat walking a gray fence and a girl backyard.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only one
Speaker 1: dollar and eighty seven cents with which to buy Jim
Speaker 1: a present. She had been saving every penny she could
Speaker 1: for months, with the result twenty dollars a week doesn't
Speaker 1: go too far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated.
Speaker 1: They always are only one dollar and eighty seven cents
Speaker 1: to buy a present for Jim. Her Jim. Many a
Speaker 1: happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him,
Speaker 1: something fine and rare, and sterling, something just a little
Speaker 1: bit nearer to being worthy of the honor being owed
Speaker 1: by Jim. There was a peer glass between the windows
Speaker 1: of the room. Perhaps you have seen a peer glass
Speaker 1: and an eight dollar flat. A very thin and agile
Speaker 1: person may, by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence
Speaker 1: of longitudinal strips, obtained a fairly accurate conception of his looks. Della,
Speaker 1: being slender, had mastered the yard. Suddenly she whirled from
Speaker 1: the window and stood before the glass. Her eyes were
Speaker 1: shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its color within
Speaker 1: twenty seconds. Rapidly she pulled down her hair and let
Speaker 1: it fall to its full length.
Speaker 2: Now there are two possessions of the James Dillingham youngs
Speaker 2: in which they both took a mighty pride. One was
Speaker 2: Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's.
Speaker 2: The other was Della's hair. Had the Queen of Shiba
Speaker 2: lived in the flat across the air shaft, Della would
Speaker 2: have let her hair hang out the window someday to dry,
Speaker 2: just to depreciate her majesty's jewels and gifts. Had King
Speaker 2: Solomon bid the janitor with all his treasures piled up
Speaker 2: in the basement. Jim would have pulled out his watch
Speaker 2: every time he passed, just to see him pluck at
Speaker 2: his beard from envy. So now Della's beautiful hair fell
Speaker 2: about her, rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters.
Speaker 2: It reached below her knee and made itself almost a
Speaker 2: garment for her. And then she did it up again,
Speaker 2: nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and
Speaker 2: stood still while a tear or two splashed on the
Speaker 2: worn red carpet, on, when her old brown jacket on,
Speaker 2: when her old brown hat, with a whirl of skirts,
Speaker 2: and with the brilliant sparkles still in her eyes, she
Speaker 2: fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street,
Speaker 2: where she stopped. The sign read Madame Sophrony Hair goods
Speaker 2: of all kinds one flight up. Della ran and collected herself, panting.
Speaker 2: Madame large, two white, chilly, hardly looked the sofrony. Will
Speaker 2: you buy my hair, asked Ella. I buy hair, said Madame.
Speaker 2: Take your hat off and let's have a sight at
Speaker 2: the looks of it. Down rippled the brown cascade. Twenty dollars,
Speaker 2: said Madame, lifting the mass with a practiced hand. Give
Speaker 2: it to me quick, said Della. Oh. In the next
Speaker 2: two hours trip by on rosy wings, forget the hashed metaphor,
Speaker 2: she was ransacking the stores for Jim's present. She found
Speaker 2: it at last. It surely had been made for Jim
Speaker 2: and no one else. There was no other like it
Speaker 2: in any of the stores, than she had turned all
Speaker 2: of them inside out. It was a platinum fob chain,
Speaker 2: simple and chased in design, properly proclaiming its value by
Speaker 2: substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation, as all good
Speaker 2: things should do. It was even worthy of the watch.
Speaker 2: As soon as she saw it, she knew that it
Speaker 2: must be Jim's. It was like him, quietness and value.
Speaker 2: The description applied to both twenty one dollars they took
Speaker 2: from her for it, and she hurried home with the
Speaker 2: eighty seven cents. With that chain on his watch, Jim
Speaker 2: might be properly anxious about the time in any company.
Speaker 2: Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it
Speaker 2: on the sly on account of the old leather strap
Speaker 2: that he used in place with the chain. When Della
Speaker 2: reached home, her intoxication gave way a little to prudence
Speaker 2: and reason. She got her curling irons out and lighted
Speaker 2: the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made
Speaker 2: by generosity added to love, which is always a tremendous task,
Speaker 2: dear friends, a mammoth task. Within forty minutes, her head
Speaker 2: was covered with tiny, close lying curls that made her
Speaker 2: look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her
Speaker 2: reflection in the mirror long, carefully and critically. If Jim
Speaker 2: doesn't kill me, she said to herself, before he takes
Speaker 2: a second look at me, he'll say, I look like
Speaker 2: a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do? Oh?
Speaker 2: What could I do with a doll in eighty seven cents?
Speaker 2: At seven o'clock, the coffee was made and the frying
Speaker 2: pan was back on the stove, hot and ready to
Speaker 2: cook the chops.
Speaker 1: Jim was never late. Della doubled the fob chain in
Speaker 1: her hand and sat on the corner of the table
Speaker 1: near the door that he always entered. Then she heard
Speaker 1: a step on the stair away down on the first flight,
Speaker 1: and she turned white for just a moment. She had
Speaker 1: a habit for saying a little silent prayer about the
Speaker 1: simplest everyday things. And now she whispered, please God, make
Speaker 1: him think I'm still pretty. She cut her hair off
Speaker 1: right to make money to buy this gift. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: got twenty dollars for it, So she looks like Anne
Speaker 1: Hathaway and Lema's.
Speaker 2: Rob Yes, all right, but with curly hair.
Speaker 1: The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it.
Speaker 1: He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow. He was
Speaker 1: only twenty two and about to be burdened with a family.
Speaker 1: He needed a new overcoat, and he was without gloves.
Speaker 1: Jim stopped inside the door, as immovable as a setter
Speaker 1: at the scent of a quail. His eyes were fixed
Speaker 1: upon Della, and there was an expression in them that
Speaker 1: she could not read, and it terrified her. It was
Speaker 1: not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any
Speaker 1: of these sentiments that she had been prepared for. He
Speaker 1: simply stared at her fixedly, with a peculiar expression on
Speaker 1: his face. Della wriggled off the table and went for him,
Speaker 1: Jim Darling. She cried, don't look at me that way.
Speaker 1: I had my hair cut off in soul because I
Speaker 1: couldn't have lift through Christmas without giving you a present.
Speaker 1: It'll grow out again. You won't mind, will you. I
Speaker 1: just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast.
Speaker 1: Say Merry Christmas, Jim, and let's be happy. You don't
Speaker 1: know what a nice, beautiful, nice gift I've got for you.
Speaker 1: You've cut off your hair, asked Jim laboriously, as if
Speaker 1: he had not arrived at that patent fact yet, even
Speaker 1: after the hardest mental labor, cut it off and sold it,
Speaker 1: said Della. Don't you like me just as well?
Speaker 2: Anyhow?
Speaker 1: I'm me without my hair, ain't I. Jim looked a
Speaker 1: round the room curiously. You say your hair is gone,
Speaker 1: he said, with an air all my idiocy. You needn't
Speaker 1: look for it, said Della. It's sold. I tell you,
Speaker 1: sold and gone too. It's Christmas Eve boy. Be good
Speaker 1: to me, for it went for you. Maybe the hairs
Speaker 1: of my head were numbered, she went on with sudden
Speaker 1: serious sweetness. But nobody could ever count my love for you.
Speaker 1: Shall I put the chops on Jim. Out of his trance,
Speaker 1: Jim seemed quickly to wake. He unfolded his Della for
Speaker 1: ten seconds. Let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential
Speaker 1: object in the other direction, eight dollars a week or
Speaker 1: a million a year, what is the difference? A mathematician
Speaker 1: or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The
Speaker 1: magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them.
Speaker 1: This dark assertion will be illuminated later on. Jim drew
Speaker 1: a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon
Speaker 1: the table. Don't make any mistake, Dell, he said about me.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut,
Speaker 1: or a shave, or a shampoo that could make me
Speaker 1: like my girl any less. But if you'll unwrap that package,
Speaker 1: you may see why you had me going a while.
Speaker 2: At first, white fingers and nimble tore at the string
Speaker 2: and paper, and then an ecstatic scream of joy, and
Speaker 2: then alas quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails,
Speaker 2: necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of
Speaker 2: the Lord of the flat. For there lay the combs,
Speaker 2: the set of combs side and back that Della had
Speaker 2: worshiped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell,
Speaker 2: with jeweled rims, just the shade to wear in the beautiful,
Speaker 2: vanished hair. They were expensive combs, she knew, and her
Speaker 2: heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the
Speaker 2: least hope of possession, And now they were hers. But
Speaker 2: the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone.
Speaker 2: But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length
Speaker 2: she was able to look up with dim eyes and
Speaker 2: smile and say, my hair grows so fast. Jim, and
Speaker 2: then Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried,
Speaker 2: oh oh. Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present.
Speaker 2: She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm.
Speaker 2: The dull, precious metal seemed to flash with the reflection
Speaker 2: of her brightened, ardent spirit. Isn't it a dandy, Jim?
Speaker 2: I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have
Speaker 2: to look at the time a hundred times a day. Now,
Speaker 2: give me your watch. I want to see how it
Speaker 2: looks on you. Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on
Speaker 2: the couch and put his hands under the back of
Speaker 2: his head and smiled. Dell said he let's put our
Speaker 2: Christmas presents away and keep them awhile they're too nice.
Speaker 2: To use. Just at present. I sold the watch to
Speaker 2: get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose
Speaker 2: you put the chops on the magi. As you know,
Speaker 2: were wise men, wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to
Speaker 2: the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of
Speaker 2: giving Christmas presents. Being wise, Their gifts were no doubt
Speaker 2: wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case
Speaker 2: of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you
Speaker 2: the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat
Speaker 2: who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures
Speaker 2: of their house. But in a last word to the
Speaker 2: whys of these day's, let it be said that of
Speaker 2: all who give gifts, these two were the wisest, Oh,
Speaker 2: all who give and received gifts, such as they are wisest,
Speaker 2: everywhere they are wisest. They are the Magi. But do
Speaker 2: you think of that?
Speaker 1: I think it was one of the great ironic stories
Speaker 1: of all time.
Speaker 2: Well, that's so Henry, he's the master of the ironic twist.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's not lame at all. No, he says
Speaker 1: lame late at the end. But that's one of those words.
Speaker 2: It's a little different now he's self deprecating. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: get it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So yeah, man, how about that Combs he sold the watch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they got the chops.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the chops. When I was reading that, I was like,
Speaker 2: chops sound pretty good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds real good.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You got anything else? I got nothing else.
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas, everyone, Merry Christmas for another great year. Buddy
Speaker 1: and Jerry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Merry Christmas, Chuck, Merry Christmas, Jerry. Jerry says, Merry
Speaker 2: Christmas too, and to all a good night, to all,
Speaker 2: a good night.
Speaker 1: For more on this and thousands of other topics, visit
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