WEBVTT - Is Valentines Day Bull Sh*t? | MiniPod 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.280 Native Lampard is a production of iHeart Radio in partnership 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:04.880 with Reason Choice Media. 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:10.600 Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Hello, Hello, hello everybody, and welcome 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:12.720 to this week's Minnie Pod. 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.040 I know how much y'all love these We love them 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:16.080 too because they're brief. 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:18.920 Don't take all day to get a thing out, And 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:21.200 today we are talking about Valentine's Day. 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.759 It may take all day to get a thing out. 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:30.200 And how do y'all celebrate Valentine's Day? 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:31.080 Do you believe in it? 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:34.440 Angela has a cautionary tales to tell every person out 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:36.720 there who's with somebody who don't. 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:39.400 Believe Angela kick us off? What's up? How you celebrating 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:40.120 Valentine's Day? 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:43.320 You got philosophical thoughts on on this thing? 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:46.680 Or or just take it as it comes? 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:48.959 I got it funny? Can we run? Can we run 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:49.840 something funny first? 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:50.120 Yeah? 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:50.520 Yeah? 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:50.720 So. 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:52.480 Our good sister. 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:55.600 Kendrick G has a as a live show that she 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:59.760 does on YouTube and Instagram with people who call in 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:04.480 for her matchmaking services. And there was one particular occasion 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:08.160 that I love so much. I watched multiple times. I 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.640 want you all to see what happened and how it 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:12.600 all went down as the slippery soap. Were probably not 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:14.640 gonna play the full thing. Nick, I'll tell you when 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:16.119 to cut it off. But let's go ahead and run 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:18.880 this Kendred g moment. It's the best of the best. 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:20.000 Hello. 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:29.839 Oh you gotta sit up, baby. Hello, Yeah, Hello Dasha 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.080 DeShawn from where Detroit? 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:34.600 Mechican? Detroit? 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:35.520 How old are you? Deshan? 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:36.640 Twenty nine? 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.240 What's the problem? You didn't hear the question? 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:46.800 Yes, I did know you did? You said where I'm from? 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.000 I said Detroit? You said how old are you? 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:52.000 I said twenty nine? No, yeah, I said how old 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:52.440 are you? 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:54.640 I said twenty nine? 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.200 That means how many? How many years have you been 0:01:59.240 --> 0:01:59.720 on earth? 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:01.600 He said, you didn't hear the question. 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:03.360 I'm twenty nine years old. 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.320 You in Bozo, so you must not have heard of 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:12.120 being twenty nine? 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:17.080 Yeah, I know, girl, I know you ain't trying to 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:20.040 go there with the rings because you and I'm gonna 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:22.799 make up on your hideous like don't play with me 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:25.840 because I can go there. I'm trying to be nice 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:30.560 that wigs like don't play with me. Don't play with me, Candre, 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:32.120 please don't do it. 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:34.920 I mean, well, listen, I'm the one with the show 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:36.359 that you stayed up to be on. 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:39.760 So you nobody gives up though, because I mean nobody, Like, 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:43.000 you're not a nice person. You're ugly on the inside, 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:46.960 you trying to don't loot, jabs at people. Look at you, 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:53.040 your shiny ass face, ugly, ugly, look at you, look 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:53.520 at you. 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:57.440 Andrew is offended, but she continues to ask him what 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:59.600 year you born, because she's like, it's no way on 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:03.040 guys screen earth that you're twenty nine. So, needless to say, 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:05.919 he probably didn't make a love connection. But I do 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:09.480 want to just acknowledge Kindred does these regularly. There's a 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.880 guy that went on that said he was fifty and 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.360 he only days twenty something year old. There's a woman 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.000 who said that you know, she's engaged, but she need 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:17.880 a man on the side. 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:19.120 It cracks me up. 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:22.520 It's giving possible balloons just random. 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:24.480 They just call her, They just called in and she 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:25.000 kind of. 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.800 Goes off of myn ig life and so that's what 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.000 they do. But yeah, I thought that we could start there. 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:33.600 I know we have a question from a matchmaker as well. Uh, 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:36.840 before we get into my business and how y'all celebrate 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.480 now times day. Let's just keep it going. Let's get 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:41.080 the question there from the matchmaker. 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:43.000 All Right, this one's gonna be PG, y'all. 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:44.560 I'm sorry. 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:46.600 Hi, Nana Lampod. 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:47.840 My name is Tyan. 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:51.440 I'm a matchmaker in Jersey City, New Jersey. I've been 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:56.560 working in the dating and relationship field for about five 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:59.520 years now, and I'm coming to you with a question 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.440 based on what I've been seeing in my work lately. 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.760 I primarily work with black men and women in their 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.040 thirties and forties, and I'm finding it difficult to find 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.280 men who are ready for a commitment or even in general. 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:17.440 I offer paid and free opportunities to be matched. The 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:22.599 women come, they're ready, I'm ready to match them, but 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:27.440 many men seem to withdraw, withdraw, or say that they're 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:30.680 not ready or give reasons that aren't very clear. 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:32.520 We hear a. 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:37.039 Lot about crisis, the crisis with men, but usually the 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:41.640 conversation focuses on white men ages eighteen to twenty five. 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:43.920 From what I've been. 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:47.520 Seeing, there's a crisis with black men as well in 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:51.560 their twenties, thirties, and forties that is not often centered. 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:55.560 So my question is, how should we be thinking about 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:59.520 black love and relationships right now, giving what's happening with 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:00.760 men our community. 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:02.280 Thank you for. 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:03.080 All you do. 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:07.159 I love the podcast, and Tiffany, if you're watching, I 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:09.960 miss you and I definitely will be getting the book. 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:13.880 Thanks again, y'all, and welcome home. 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:16.360 Welcome home, Come Home. 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:21.160 The crisis, I think so the one that she's describing 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.880 with white men, which is clearly a lot of it 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:27.479 talked about, but in the relationship field, is around the 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:31.960 fact that increasingly not dating, sort of spending a lot 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:40.960 of time gaming, being confronted by unemployment or underemployment, underemployed aspirations, 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:44.280 so not getting hired into the places that they want uh, 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:49.039 and politically showing up a bit more conservative, causing a 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:53.039 lot more of their peer opposite sex women who are 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.920 more liberal, who are showing up as more liberal and 0:05:57.120 --> 0:06:00.400 are more fully employed, and are also taking up jority 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:03.680 spaces frankly on college campuses increasingly not just on black 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:09.240 campuses but also predominantly white serving institutions as well, and 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:14.600 falling in love with bots and i AI starting relationship 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:18.680 online with the technology like for real. I'm not sure 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.800 what the proper languages to describe that y'all got to 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:22.799 help me out on that. 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:24.599 The opposite of Mary Jay's real love. 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:32.160 Okay, that's clever, and I think she's suggesting that it's 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:36.800 that that's also true and that maybe in the in 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:40.120 the black male community that similarly, within this age group, 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:43.440 there is increasing you know, a version and I've read 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:46.400 articles about that, I mean, women increasingly saying that you know, 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:50.840 who want children, who are thinking about it very differently 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:53.599 than having to be in a relationship by what to 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:57.919 produce a child, but considering other alternatives to producing a 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:01.200 child and not necessarily need to be in a relationship 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:03.360 with someone. 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:05.960 In order to have, you know, in order to have one. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:10.280 And women increasingly choosing from a social standpoint that they'll 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:13.920 be just find socializing with their girls. And you know, 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:16.240 if they have a date with a guy every now 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:19.880 and again, that's okay, But would you know, find great 0:07:19.960 --> 0:07:21.840 enjoyment and going out and just having a night on 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:25.920 the town amongst you know, their own girls. 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:28.480 Well, so this is are we backed in all this 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:31.240 to say, you know, how do we celebrate do we 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:32.800 celebrate Valentine's Day? 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:34.560 And whose kind of responsibility is that? 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:39.360 I think, you know, what's fascinating about this conversation is 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:41.920 even when we were getting ready to come on our 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:46.840 producer Lolo and Jordan, who's our editor, we're talking about, 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:49.680 you know, whether black men celebrate Valentine's Day, And I 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.360 retort it and I meant it, young sisters that if 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:54.480 you were to dude that says he don't believe in 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:56.960 Valentine's Day, you're not the only one on his roster. 0:07:57.440 --> 0:07:58.120 So I just want to. 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.280 Make sure we're very clear about this, because a man 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:04.040 who's dating you and wants to ensure your happiness is 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:07.240 going to celebrate I don't care if it's you know, 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:10.360 some random holiday that's specific to your state. 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:11.760 He gonna roll with you a little bit. 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:14.400 And the fact that he's like he don't believe in it, 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:15.920 He don't believe in spending money in. 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.240 Multiple places boo boo believe that. So I just I 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:20.239 don't want to make sure. 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:23.040 That I meant answer. 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:24.080 I think it's true. 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:26.240 That's because I don't know. 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:31.600 I mean, I think with every answer respect to the 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:35.480 matchmaking profession, I don't know many black men that are 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:38.400 seeking out love at matchmakers. 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:40.760 That's what about see I love period? 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:44.160 I mean, I mean answer my question, no, I mean, 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.119 you didn't really ask a question. It was more declaratory. 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:48.320 I thought you were making a statement. 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:50.200 Well, I'm sorry, Why are you to respond to what 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:50.640 I said? 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:53.760 No, I mean I think that I think that a 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:56.680 lot of times men don't want to be in a 0:08:56.679 --> 0:09:01.600 position where they are forced rather real artificially to do 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:04.160 something they don't that they feel as if they do 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.280 day in and day out. For many of us, we 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:09.520 confess our love daily, we show our love daily, and 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:12.360 so why is there the extra rigama role of having 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:15.439 to do above and beyond on a day that is 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:18.840 dictated and celebrated and anointed as the day where you 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:22.160 shower someone with love? And it's fine, I don't. 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:23.000 For me. 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.319 A lot of times it's you do things like that 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:28.840 to kind of go through the processes or avoid the 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.120 conflict of not doing it. But you focus day in 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:36.160 and day out on showing your partner that level of affection, 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.719 or at least you should. And the other thing is, 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:42.839 for as much as there's condemnation that rains down on men, 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:46.679 particularly Black men, I don't believe that there's been an 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:52.080 adequate inspection of the expectations of women, particularly Black women. 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:56.240 And so we've had to Balanchine's Day or just enchaining 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.600 in general. I mean we had the whole conversation just 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.959 recently socially not to together is one about the cost 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.200 of a first date. I don't know if you all 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:06.880 recall that where they were having discussions over how much 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:09.199 should be spent on a first date or how much 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:12.120 should be spent on a date at all. And you know, 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.679 for individuals who are working extremely hard doing whatever task 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:19.720 it is from nine to five, if that is the 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:21.800 person that you choose, you meet them out and they 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:26.240 can only afford xyz, it shouldn't be commiserate with some 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.240 artificial standard. I mean, it should be commiserate to what 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.000 they can do and how they're showing you their affection. 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:33.960 And so if it's like making and that people are 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:35.560 gonna laugh when I say this, and that means that 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:38.240 I'm talking to you. But if it's like making a 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:41.000 peanut butter and jelly sandwich and walking through g you know, 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.040 walking through the park and sitting down and watching things 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:47.319 and learning more about yourself, playing games, et cetera, if 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:50.040 that's what he can do at that time, and if 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:53.400 on holidays he takes you to cheesecake factory, because he's 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:55.920 saved up forward or whatever it may be. I just 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:58.400 think love comes in every shape, form and fashion, and 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:01.240 we build this artificial shit in missus our blessings is 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:01.840 really quick. 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:04.800 Hold on, I got a quick question. I would like 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.959 to do a focus group pole here. Please please raise 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.920 your hand if you've eaten a peanut butter and jelly 0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:15.440 sandwich in the last month, exactly, Go ahead, Andrew. 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.160 But his point was well made. 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:19.560 I mean I would probably say the person should describe 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:22.800 it as a picnic for a day, and then they 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.320 can make the meal, you know, put the peanut butter 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:26.480 of the whatever's. 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.640 In frre's something in a basket. 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:32.080 And but but there's effort required, because there is a 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:34.199 way to just make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:36.400 right and and and say this is what I could do, 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.000 which I will consider half assed. And you shouldn't have 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:40.040 you shouldn't have done that. 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:42.400 But somebody take. 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.520 Y date, No, you do, I will take a picnic 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:48.640 one to me. 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:52.719 That's suggesting time, energy, effort put into trying to make 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.240 something nice and. 0:11:54.320 --> 0:12:01.000 Special distraction for most for most people. I mean, I 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:04.199 think that the seclusion, the absence of distraction. I mean, 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.480 I just think the people have artificial ways in which 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:08.200 they want to be wooed, and I mean I think 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:10.760 that their standards. Of course, I think we shower our 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:13.800 daughters so that they have a level of expectation. But 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:15.600 at the end of the day, we shower them so 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:17.600 they know what love feels like, not so they know 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:21.720 what a diamond cost, right, And so I rather them 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.560 know what love looks like than the value of a 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:28.680 range Rover. And so I just find Valentine's data fall 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:30.920 into that. Of course, Ellen and I are gonna we're 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:34.080 gonna be in Baton Rouge watching the LSU South Carolina 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.080 game and then go to New Orleans and eat and 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.400 do those things. We're going to do it to celebrate it. 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:41.520 But I mean, hell, if that's if that was, you know, 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:44.720 February thirteenth or February fifteenth, I would do the same thing. 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:45.959 Mm hmmm. 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:49.880 It's a compulsory for you. It should be. No, I 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:50.320 mean the. 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:56.320 Nature, Valentine, Yes, the compulsory nature of it, Yes, yeah. 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.560 For sure. Yeah that's interesting. Kevin, what do you what's 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:01.760 your what's your outlook? How do you treat today? How 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:02.360 do you perceive it? 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:04.600 I just want to say I'm gay, and none of 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:05.960 this computes to me. 0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.120 All of this, I'm completely not. 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:12.360 Oh, I just meant, like the conversations about effort or 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:15.240 the cost of dates. I just think it's so different 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:29.640 with like, I just think it's different with men who 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:32.800 date other men. I actually I find that like there 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.600 there's often a competition to be the one who's providing 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:39.120 or the one who's making the effort. Obviously when people 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:42.520 are like genuinely interested, but you know, there's just a 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:48.040 different dynamic when it's a same gender loving relationship, because 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.560 I often have to remind people like, yeah, I'm gay, 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:53.360 but I'm still a man, like I want to pay 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.920 for the bill, I want to plan the date, like 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.439 I am a man with like means, and I can 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:02.559 do that myself. So sometimes that's. 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:03.280 Like the push and pull. 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:05.040 It's not really like an argument about. 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:06.960 Like who pays as much. 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:10.160 Which I find comes up in like social media discourse 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:14.600 around heterosexual dating a lot, and I don't I guess 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:16.720 it doesn't come up, but it's sort of because it's 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:20.680 presumed that the man in that heterosexual situation is going 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:22.920 to be the one to pay, then there's more judgment 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.160 about how much you're paying or where it is that 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:29.480 we're going. It's a different standard versus like the same 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:32.000 gender relationship. It's I don't know, I just don't feel 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.040 like that it's the same amount of pressure as far 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:34.960 as what I'm doing. 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.240 Is there pressure though to celebrate Onme's Day? 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:39.040 Absolutely? 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:39.640 Yeah? 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:43.120 But okay, like do you celebrate them? 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:44.160 And do you celebrate? 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.520 Are you celebrating like do you have them blocked off 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.160 like morning, mid afternoon? 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:53.080 Not? 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:53.680 Do you have. 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:58.400 I am I'm going to fly myself to Vegas and 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.480 go see Kailani in concert on Valentine's saying that is 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:01.960 my plan? 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.200 Okay, and it's Kevin likes to treat he gonna treat me. 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:10.440 I'm going to want to be I would be photed to. 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:15.280 I'm going, I'll bet I was seeing someone and or 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.520 I've been seeing someone, but it's fashion week and they 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.920 work in fashion and like they're busy. So I'm like, 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:21.680 all right, I was trying to take a trip, but 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:23.320 you don't want to go, So I'm gonna go see 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:26.240 Kilano is the only woman I would date. 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.800 That because I said I was going. What just happened? Kevin? 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:38.440 I was my wing person's attention. 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:39.920 I want that woman so bad. 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:46.160 Okay, brother, you got something in common with the rest 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:47.000 of us on the panel. 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.680 No, no, the rest of y'all, But I will this 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:53.760 is this is the question that I have for y'all 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.400 too now. I I said, I gave our little the 0:15:56.440 --> 0:16:03.280 information to our our lovely producers and editor on these 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:06.000 kind of tips. Around men, you're talking about the compulsory 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:09.600 nature of Valentine's Day and being forced to celebrate. Is 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:12.600 there any part of y'all that feels like this is 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:16.400 an opportunity to express love but also I want to 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:18.920 receive love. I felt like there was some there are 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:21.280 some points that were being made before we hit record. 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:24.800 Around you all carrying the pressure of it, but not 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.400 feeling like that pressure is equally put on the women. 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:28.400 Folks. I want to hear this. 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.360 Because I would say I would love, I would appreciate 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:35.480 more if the receiving love in the forms that came 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:41.080 in were more regular like Valentine's Day. To me, the 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:43.200 compulsory nature is a complete turn off, Like I don't 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.680 need a mechanized holiday to. 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:47.280 Tell me this. 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.440 To day you write a love note or give chocolate, 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.880 I don't get chock mar Johnny Chcolate. But you know, 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:56.040 like the day that you show some outward expression. With 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:58.920 my kids on a slight bit different with it because 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:02.720 I get, of all three of them them Valentine's Day recognition. 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:06.800 And that's mostly because the environment that they're in, you know, 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:08.520 with their classmates and peers. 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.320 I don't want them to get the impression that their 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:12.200 parents or. 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.160 The people, you know, the loves in their lives don't 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:15.640 love them, you know, the same way. 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:17.720 But I probably talked to them one day about it too. 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:19.359 When they're mature. 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.000 And can make some you know, more maturey to making, 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:23.840 I just I don't like the commulsitary nature of it. 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.119 I was like when Jana were dating. I do things 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.960 like get the roses at the beginning of the week 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.520 if it was on a Friday, and or I'd send, 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:35.280 you know, would drop in and ask her if I 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:38.040 could take her to lunch, but not on you know, 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:39.680 not on Valentine's They'd be the Wednesday. 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:42.240 And so that it felt because. 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:45.880 That would reflect more of what our habits had been 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:50.560 and were by way of expressing love and affectionate desire 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:54.240 to be together and spend time together. And then when 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:57.760 social media entered the arena right, like, because Facebook didn't 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.800 exist when I was in college, not to I graduated. 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.080 I think of my senior year. 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:04.200 It was at Harvard and. 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:06.159 Yale and you know at the you know, at the 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:08.640 Ivys when it when it first started. But but then 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:13.040 you have to to now compete with everybody writing, you know, 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:18.000 open love letters online and posting you know, a hundred 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:23.080 different vases of roses, and then you know, folks start 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:26.360 doing things that start to see no, no, I wasn't 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:30.120 doing basis. 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:31.280 Of of of of you know, of flowers. 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:34.320 And then now you're like, what's real and what isn't 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:36.880 because now this performative and I think you just found 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:38.320 out do to this and the that I look at 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:38.840 my room, I'm like. 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:41.439 This is crazy, Like this is what it took for 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.880 you to say I love you. There were not other ways, you. 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:45.960 Know, other ways to do it, so like that's just 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:49.480 always been in my craw But I I look, I 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:50.600 have folded like. 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:52.639 The rest of us. And you do what you're supposed 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.439 to do on the day and keep it moving. My god, 0:18:57.600 --> 0:19:00.399 it's true. I know you because you don't. 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:04.480 But Angela, what my question was, but I want you 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:05.639 to answer my question. 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:08.840 My answer was, yes, I want to receive it, and 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:09.639 I want to receive it. 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:10.480 That's what I'm saying. 0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:13.040 The basis, do you give on Valentine's Day? What is 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:14.560 your history of giving gifts? 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:14.960 Me? 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:17.840 I'm great at this, I'm masterful. 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:19.359 Explain. 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:21.000 I think I give a lot. 0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:24.800