WEBVTT - Finding Love Within Herself Allowed Her To Recieve It From Another (Suzanne's 2 Year update) (Outweigh) 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.480 I won't let my body out be outwait everything that 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:08.039 I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change. 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.440 I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong, 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:18.720 fail free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful. 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:24.400 And that will always out way if you feel it, 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:25.520 but yours. 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.639 And there she'll some love to the food. 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:35.040 There, say good day and did you and die out way, 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:38.440 Happy Saturday, outweigh It's leanne here and what you're about 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:41.839 to hear are real stories from real women who have 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:44.400 faced some of their deepest struggles with food and their 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:47.640 bodies and face their demons and come out on the 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:51.839 other side. And so these are the raw, unfiltered journeys 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:54.840 of women just like you, who once felt trapped in 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:58.320 their own mental prisons, caught in that endless cycle of 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:01.120 food obsession, you know, feeling like a failure in all 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:04.160 of that shame. And I'm sharing these with you because 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:06.480 I want you to know that no matter how stuck 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:09.640 or out of control you feel right now, there is 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:13.759 a way out. So if you're feeling broken or crazy, 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:16.039 or like you're the only one who struggles with this, 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:19.400 you are not. You are not alone, and you are 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:23.760 definitely not beyond hope or healing. These stories are proof 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:27.440 that true transformation is possible, and I hope they inspire 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:29.759 you to see what's possible for yourself. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:31.399 So let's dive on in. 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:37.440 Well, Hello, Hello, and welcome back to the Stressless Eating Podcast. 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:41.120 Super excited for today's episode because it's kind of another 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:44.840 full circle journey. We have Suzanne back on the podcast. 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:48.680 She shared her her testimony and case study man probably 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:51.160 a year or so ago. You know, she graduated from 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:54.800 Stressless Eating probably like over two years ago, and now 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:57.360 she's you know, I'm grateful that she's an ambassador for 0:01:57.400 --> 0:01:59.640 the program. She's helping me behind the scenes. She's a 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:01.680 support system for the gals that are going through the 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.720 program currently, and it's just a big full circle journey. 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:07.000 But I wanted to just kind of bring her back 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:10.440 on the podcast share you know, some things behind the 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.320 scenes of what's causing her to show up in her 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:16.079 life differently now even two years later. You know, how 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:19.240 it's affecting not food in her body necessarily, but we're 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:21.920 going to talk about non related because everybody thinks like, oh, 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:24.040 it's a food problem, Oh it's a body problem. It's like, no, 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.040 there's all these other areas of our lives where we 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.160 are not showing up, we're shrinking ourselves, we're diminishing our worth. 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:31.240 And so yes, it's a food and body and health 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:32.799 conversation and that's always going. 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:34.520 To be part of our lives as women. 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.120 We're learning how to take care of ourselves, right, But 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:39.920 we're going to talk about some of the auxiliary stuff 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:44.720 like relationships, like owning your worth, like stepping into work stuff. 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:46.840 So we're gonna dive into all of that. 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.960 So, first off, hello Susanna, and welcome back to the podcast. 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.160 AI Leanne, thank you so much for the invitation to 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:55.080 join you today. 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.600 Absolutely well, I know that you know, everybody in our 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:00.519 in the program gets so much better value out of 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:02.680 your shares, and I wanted to just kind of let 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.240 other people share in the in the wealth of your 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:08.120 of your knowledge and wisdom and just life experiences that 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:10.520 you've that have been really you know, shaping this path 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:13.400 for you. And I'll link I'll link your original episode 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:16.359 in the show notes for anybody who hasn't met Susanne yet. 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:19.040 She shared her whole journey from you know, just being 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:20.639 in the food and body and shame. 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:22.320 Prison and so we're going to kind of pick up 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.680 a little bit where we left off on that episode. 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:26.639 You know, one of the things that we talked about 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:28.920 for you and when you shared your story is that 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:32.880 it wasn't just about food and body. The whole image 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.200 that you had of yourself was keeping you from stepping 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:37.720 into lots of areas of your life, but one of 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:40.400 them was love and inviting love into your life. And 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:42.480 I know when we very first met, the first time 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.160 we talked, you know, you were very clear that like, hey, 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.480 I'm not putting out what I want to come back, 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:50.560 but you also were clear like I have to love 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:53.720 myself first before I can go receive that from somebody else. 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:56.120 So kind of picking up from that, can you just 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.360 share a little bit about what that process was like 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:01.520 for you? And then obviously now you're in a relationship 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:04.120 with the love of your life, but kind of before 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:07.200 we ever met, where were you in your dating and 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:09.880 relationship life and what were some of the beliefs that 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:12.440 you had that were keeping you from putting yourself out there? 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:17.000 You know, rewinding a couple of years, I was definitely 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:21.120 in a place that not only was I rejecting myself, 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:24.479 I was rejecting others around me, and I wasn't believing 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.160 if somebody was interested in me, and I really had 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:30.080 kind of taken myself out of the dating pool, which 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:34.240 was frustrating because one of the key ways that I 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:37.280 was defining myself, like if I met you during that 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:41.440 time period and somebody said, tell me five words about yourself, single, 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:43.320 would have been the very first thing I would have 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:48.320 said to define myself. And I was really mentally stuck 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:51.240 on the fact that I had not found my partner, 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:57.400 and I personally was interpreting that as rejection from society, 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:02.159 rejection by men, and there by rejecting all of the 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:07.120 qualities about me. They're great, and I could say, no, 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:10.640 I'm confident, and I was perceived as being this very confident, 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:14.560 self assured person. But sometimes that was true, and sometimes 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.240 it was you know, fake it till you make it feelings, 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:22.360 and I felt fraudulent at times when people would comment 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:25.320 to me, you're so self assured, and you prove that 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:29.680 perfection isn't necessary to be happy. I think all of 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:32.359 that is true, but at the time, how I was 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:35.839 defining myself was so hung up on being single that 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:39.159 I couldn't get past how I was rejecting myself over 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:39.760 and over again. 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:43.280 By that definition, what you're really hitting on is like, ladies, 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.600 we don't even realize that our identity and our beliefs 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:50.719 shape our behaviors, right, And so alongside that identity of 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:53.560 being single were a lot of beliefs, and you know, 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.120 Suzanne had her own version of them. And for a 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:59.200 lot of my gals that identify as single, a lot 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:00.800 of the beliefs that come up when I'm talking to 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.240 them are like, who's going to want me? Or what 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.279 if I'm just destined to stay this way forever? Or 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:07.280 what if my person's not out there? Or what if 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:09.640 I'm just not what if love isn't in the cards 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:12.680 for me? And then whatever food or body shame we 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:16.360 have alongside it, and that self rejection just becomes part 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:19.320 of it. And our behaviors are a reflection of our beliefs. 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:22.200 So because you had that belief, you weren't taking actions 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.120 to change your dating life, let alone your self image, 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:26.719 you know before we met, or you were trying to 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.240 but didn't have the tools, and we just get stuck. 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:32.560 We get so Simla, and I was stuck, And for me, 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:35.960 I would say, really, all of it was rooted. I 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:38.640 might say I'm single and what does that mean? And 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.480 rejected and what does that mean? But the reality is 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:45.159 digging underneath all of that was a mantra that was 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:49.680 going in my head of I'm not worthy. When I 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.760 dug down underneath what does all of this mean for me? 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:55.839 That's what it meant, and that was where I needed 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:56.239 to start. 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:58.760 Yeah, and that's the thing where people get hung up 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:00.760 because a lot of people can really resonate with what 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:03.440 you're saying. Is they realize like this deep seated unworthiness. 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:05.920 But telling yourself looking in the mirror and saying you 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.000 are worthy and you deserve everything that you want doesn't 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.560 work because if your self image deep done inside is 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:13.679 saying no, you're not worthy. And maybe you're not using 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:16.120 those words specifically, ladies, if you're hearing this, maybe you're 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:19.080 not using the words I'm not worthy. Maybe you're using 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:21.400 the words like I'm not enough, or you'll you're not 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.800 skinny enough, or successful enough, or pretty enough, or any 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:27.840 of those things, even though like who's gonna want me? Thoughts, 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:31.600 even calling yourself fat right, those are symptoms of a 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:35.240 deep down unworthiness. And that's why positive thinking and fake 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.280 it till you make it, and motivational raw rab doesn't 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.520 work because if you have that wiring in your brain 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:45.440 like Suzanne was sharing, it becomes an identity. And one 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:46.880 of the things I want to touch on too that 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.320 you said that was so powerful is you know a 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:51.080 lot of women think like, oh my gosh, I have 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:53.040 to hit like my rock bottom in order to go 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:55.680 shift things. No, most of the women that come through 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:59.840 stressless seating ladies are just like Suzanne, outwardly projecting confidence, 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:01.080 successful in. 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:04.680 Every area of their lives. This is the elephant in 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:05.000 the room. 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:06.960 So don't think for a minute that you have to 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:08.840 be at some deep, dark rock bottom or in some 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:12.320 black hole to get yourself out of it. 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:15.360 It's so true. And I remember the pivotal moment for 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:18.600 me was one day when I looked in the mirror 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:22.080 and I didn't say, oh, you look pretty, or you 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:25.040 look good or bad in this outfit, you look this 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.280 or that. I looked at myself and said, you look lovable. 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:32.200 I remember, like that was just such. It brings tears 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.160 to my eyes because it was such a big moment 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:40.360 for me in then defining my own worth. Yeah, I 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:44.960 am lovable and it had nothing to do with my size, 0:08:45.000 --> 0:08:47.960 It had nothing to do with accomplishments, It had nothing 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:51.760 to do with relationship status or any of the other 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:54.680 things that I was using to define my own worth. 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:57.800 It was just like, no, I breathe, I'm a human being. 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:01.280 For me, I'm a child of God and all of 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:06.400 that means I am lovable. And that lovable statement I 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:08.200 redefined my own worth. 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:10.400 Oh my gosh, I remember that happening. 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.640 I remember you sharing that with me, And like, ladies, 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:17.200 all of you have that one pivotal moment in you 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.600 that's coming right, and I want, I would love for 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:22.400 you to speak about the age factor. For example. So 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:24.280 a lot of us have limiting beliefs. But one of 0:09:24.280 --> 0:09:26.080 the things that comes up when it comes to food 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.680 struggles and body struggles is like, leanne, I've been like 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:31.600 this for so many long. I'm forty fifty sixty years 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:33.480 old and I've been struggling with this since I was 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:36.040 a kid. Can this ever change for me? But also 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:39.760 on the love conversation, a lot of women think like, oh, 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:42.760 if I'm you know now, it's happening earlier. I hear 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:46.439 people in their mid twenties saying this, But you know, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:48.000 I've never found love? 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:49.920 Is it too late for me? Can you just kind 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:50.880 of speak to. 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:52.720 Some of the thoughts that you had about that and 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.600 what you now see is true about that? 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.960 I was the perpetually single gal. I, you know, had 0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:02.720 some dating relationship in my adult life and just hadn't 0:10:02.720 --> 0:10:07.079 found that air quotes the one, and I was at 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:13.040 times depressed about it, feeling dejected. But I ultimately recognized 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.320 that every step you take on the path of your 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:19.000 life is leading you to where you're meant to be. 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:24.880 And part of my work with Ulienne has been about like, 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:28.280 who do I want to be in a relationship? So 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.320 that helped me to really think through how do I 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:34.880 want to show up every day for myself, for a partner, 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:37.320 for the other people in my life, for the world. 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.360 And that was the part that I knew that I 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:45.200 had influence over. I don't have influence over what's the 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:48.320 timing of meeting somebody and who that somebody is going 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:51.160 to be and what are the circumstances around that. I 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:54.679 couldn't influence all of those pieces, but I could influence 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.200 who I am on a daily basis and how I 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.160 show up in the world. I don't think it's a 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.960 surprise that. And I was also using the journal to 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:07.920 be grateful in advance for all of the qualities that 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.040 were going to show up in my life in a partner. 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:15.080 And I really was putting that out there to the universe, like, 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:18.680 this is exactly what I'm looking for. Here are the 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:21.640 qualities that I want, Here are the things. And they 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:23.680 were also you know, what are the qualities that I 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:26.640 wanted to develop in myself and how do I show 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:30.679 up better? And I didn't meet my Jose until I 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:35.120 was fifty, and I think my family had kind of 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:39.640 decided she's just going to be single, Aunt Susie. And 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:42.040 in a lot of ways in my life, I had 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:45.200 resigned myself to the fact that I probably am going 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:49.320 to be, you know, single, and I was I was 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:52.960 coming to a different place of acceptance about that on 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.600 the work that I was doing for myself. But I 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.800 know that part of why I met Jose at the 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:03.400 time that I did had to do about my openness 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:07.800 about what I was looking for. And I can say 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:12.200 with all honesty, it's the first relationship that I showed 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:16.800 up exactly as who I am, not for who I 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:20.600 thought they wanted or what they would be attracted to 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:25.200 or be looking for. That's a no win situation when 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:29.000 you're looking at a relationship wondering do I measure up 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:33.400 to their expectations. I walked into this fully knowing this 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.560 is who I am. I have no apologies about it. 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:38.839 I'm not perfect. Here are my flaws, but here are 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:43.199 my strengths. And he did the same, And that was 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.760 a completely different way for me to show up in 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.840 a romantic relationship than I ever had in my whole life. 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:54.439 And it felt freeing. It felt really validating that this 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:58.640 person liked me exactly as I am, and not only 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:02.160 liked me, but loves me exactly as I am. And 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:04.680 I had to come to a point of loving myself 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:09.280 exactly as I am before I could appreciate being able 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:12.080 to show somebody exactly who I am and give them 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:13.680 an opportunity to love me that way. 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:17.480 It's so interesting too, because a lot of women think, like, oh, 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.719 when I lose the weight, then I'll invite love in 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.600 or or not even like the waiting for the weight conversation. 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.080 But then also, just like you said, almost resigning to 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.440 the fact of like, well, just maybe this is my life, 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.520 you know. And the reality is we're not resigning to 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:31.920 the fact that we. 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:34.600 Don't want love. Our hearts want love. It's like one 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:36.640 of the strongest desires as women. 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.920 Right What we were resigning to is the fact that 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:41.120 we don't think it's possible or we don't think we're 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:43.920 worthy of it. And also it becomes a conversation of like, 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:45.880 I have to be a certain way for somebody to 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:46.200 like me. 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:49.560 And then we posture, we please, we mold ourselves, we perform, 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:51.400 we try to perfect ourselves. 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:54.280 And what happens is we grow less and less in 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.400 love with ourselves, or we fall more and more out 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:58.319 of love with who we are because we're so focused 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:01.680 on somebody accepting us. And that's the thing nobody tells us. 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:04.280 Wait a minute, When you accept yourself, you're going to 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:05.480 be able to receive acceptance. 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.640 When you love yourself, you're going to be able to 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:08.240 receive love. 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:10.440 When you feel beautiful, you're going to be able to 0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:12.839 receive somebody else seeing you through the. 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:15.719 Eyes of beauty. And again, nobody talks about that. 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.240 You know, we see there's a billion, multi billion dollar 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:20.440 industry telling you to just go on keno and lose 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:21.600 weight and then you'll be happy. 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.920 And it's like, wait, what about this other stuff? You know? 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:26.680 And one of the things that. 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:30.520 You know, it's it's manifested beautiful things in my life 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:33.360 that you know specific And here's the thing. I'm as 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.840 we're recording this, I'm thirty eight years old, you know, 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.480 and in today's society, some like I wrote a post 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:40.040 about it, I remember a few years ago, like to 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:40.920 some people. 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:44.560 I'm behind and I'm not on the timeline of everyone else. 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:46.200 But what I know now is like if I had 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:49.120 married somebody when I was thirty, I would have brought 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:52.920 all of my food stuff and body stuff and shame stuff, 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:55.960 and I probably would be divorced by now, because not 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:58.720 because somebody couldn't love me, but because I couldn't love me. 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:02.560 And it's about running your own race. There's no timelines, 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:04.800 there's no deadlines, there's no storylines. 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:05.960 You have to. 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:08.760 Decide, are you willing and ready and able to receive 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:12.000 love right now? Than If so, it is your duty, 0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:14.640 in my opinion, to remove all of the obstacles, which 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:17.200 are really just beliefs that are keeping you from feeling 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:19.840 worthy of receiving it and I had it too, Like, 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:22.480 you know, all these beliefs that are like, maybe love 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:23.880 isn't in the cards for you and all that, and 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:26.640 I'm like, no, I am not going to settle and 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.520 receive those lies. They are just lies in their beliefs 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:31.360 that I do not have to believe in. And when 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:34.640 I started believing that not only is my man out 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:37.120 there and he's looking for me too, but when he 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:40.240 meets me, he's going to love me just as I am. 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:41.880 He's going to love all the parts of me that 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:45.040 took me forever to love, and he's gonna make me 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.480 a better version of myself. He's gonna make me even 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:50.200 more me because I'm going to be more me and 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.680 authentic and a line around him. And it's not a 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:56.400 coincidence you had. You know, we parallel belief systems along 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:58.800 the way, and both of us are now in relationships 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:00.680 with love, with the love of our life's This is 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.760 not a love a Love podcast episode, but of just 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:07.080 saying it's not a coincidence that when your beliefs are 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:11.320 aligned for loneliness and rejection and not being able to. 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:13.080 Receive love and not feeling beautiful and. 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.080 Worthy, you are not going to find that or you'll 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:20.120 settle for a relationship with an avoidant or somebody who's 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:21.359 not emotionally available. 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:22.480 That's the other thing. 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:25.280 Becoming emotionally available to yourself is when you can then 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:29.000 attract emotionally available men or women, whichever the case may be. 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:31.440 And so I hear this time and time again. 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:33.960 Actually that is the other side of it, Like not 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.440 women that are just not only like sitting on the 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.760 sidelines of their life, but maybe they are playing full 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.600 out in their dating world and wondering why they're getting 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:46.200 like emotionally abusive or gaslighting men or some in some 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:48.920 cases like narcissistic sociopathic avoidance. 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:51.440 You know, it's true. 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.040 And I have conversations with you know, there's a couple 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:57.000 of people in my life that are still navigating their 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.320 romantic life. And I hear when I hear things saying 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:02.400 like oh my gosh, like in they're my age, like Leanne, 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:05.000 I'm thirty eight years old, and like what if I 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:06.400 want to get married and I want to have kids, 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:06.840 And I'm. 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.040 Like yeah, but like you can't look at it like that. 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:11.520 You've got to just part of it is that faith, 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:16.040 like positive expectation, positive anticipation, you know, conversation of like, hey, 0:17:16.080 --> 0:17:18.879 I just have to believe, because ladies listening to this, 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:22.560 you're either positively anticipating your future or you're negatively anticipating 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:23.000 your creature. 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.439 It's really one or the other. It's not simple. And 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:26.240 so you I. 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:30.080 Invite you all to like, not in a delusional optimism 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:33.040 kind of way, you know, but in a very practical, 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.320 faith based version of like, hey, I am not willing 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:37.600 to settle for the fact that I'm going to be 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:38.440 alone the rest of my life. 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:39.720 I'm not going to believe that lie. 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:42.359 And I am open to the possibility that my man 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.960 is or woman, whichever the case may be, is out 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.439 there looking for me, and I just have to be 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:51.000 available emotionally to myself to receive that person when they 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:51.480 show up. 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:53.919 What if that was the conversation for you, It's. 0:17:53.800 --> 0:17:58.040 The conversation that Suzanne started entertaining after what forty eight years. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.199 Of not and so can you speak to. 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:02.679 That for a second about like, yeah, you had a 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.560 lot of momentum the other direction, but when you have 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.320 the brain and the and the beliefs and a system 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.159 of thinking to actually take you in the in the 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.480 other direction, it doesn't matter how long you've been a 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:14.399 certain way, can you kind of speak to the speed 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.679 so to speak for you and how quickly things shift 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:19.600 when you when you started the brain and the nervous 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:20.680 system and the belief. 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:28.919 You know. Before I say that, I would also say, 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:33.800 you know, stressless eating, in my mind is all a 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:37.080 love conversation. It's not a love conversation, but it is 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:41.600 a love conversation about yourself in yourself and how do 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:43.520 you define that and what does that mean? And how 0:18:43.520 --> 0:18:48.199 can you accept yourself differently with love and push yourself 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:53.040 differently with love to redefine how you look at yourself 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:57.199 and define yourself and the role that food plays or 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:01.360 stress plays, because they have focused on this stressless part 0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:03.399 of this just as much as the eating part of 0:19:03.440 --> 0:19:09.320 this love and I would say the timeline. I remember 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:14.000 in my thirties having somebody say to me it was 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:17.000 really helpful that they said, I didn't get married until 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:19.680 I was forty five, and if I had known at 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.120 thirty five how good my life would be at forty five, 0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:26.600 I would never spend a minute worrying. And it helped 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:31.359 me at that time to be reminded to look for 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:34.720 what is the advantage of whatever stage of life I'm in. 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.639 So as a single person, that meant like, I'm going 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.200 to go travel with my friends, I'm going to embrace 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:44.920 the freedom of being single, and I'm going to sleep 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:47.640