WEBVTT - It doesn't always have to be you

0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:09.360
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:16.320
<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:20.000
<v Speaker 1>tip is that you are not the only one who

0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.079
<v Speaker 1>can show love and support to your kids, friends, and

0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:27.560
<v Speaker 1>extended family. Other people can show up for them too.

0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:32.199
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't always have to be you, and there may

0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:36.160
<v Speaker 1>be upsides to showing people the breadth of people who

0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:40.720
<v Speaker 1>support them. So my husband and I have five kids

0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:44.080
<v Speaker 1>and two busy careers, so it is simply not possible

0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:48.519
<v Speaker 1>to be out everything for every kid. It is not

0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:51.479
<v Speaker 1>even a matter of work and life clashing. You know

0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:54.400
<v Speaker 1>that trope of someone being devastated because a late flight

0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:58.360
<v Speaker 1>means she misses the softball game. In my case, it

0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:03.560
<v Speaker 1>is often life and life clashing. If one kid has

0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:06.280
<v Speaker 1>a game at the same time as another kid's game,

0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:11.120
<v Speaker 1>there is no way to be at both simultaneously. It

0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:14.840
<v Speaker 1>doesn't matter if you are super mom or super dad.

0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:20.240
<v Speaker 1>It is still not physically possible. When people say things

0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:24.360
<v Speaker 1>like I've never missed a game, I think, well, they

0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:28.840
<v Speaker 1>just must not have that many kids. But anyway, I digress.

0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:33.080
<v Speaker 1>We go to a lot and miss other things when

0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:36.279
<v Speaker 1>we can't do something we can often enlist someone else

0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:40.160
<v Speaker 1>to go instead. For instance, my five year old had

0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.400
<v Speaker 1>a special person's tea last spring at school, right around

0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Mother's Day. I am very glad they called it special persons.

0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:51.880
<v Speaker 1>I was speaking overseas and my husband was also gone.

0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:56.160
<v Speaker 1>So who went our fifteen year old son, who happened

0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:59.040
<v Speaker 1>to have the morning off school because the high school

0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.840
<v Speaker 1>was doing some testing that he wasn't scheduled to need

0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:05.480
<v Speaker 1>to do. My older son was a good sport about it.

0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:09.239
<v Speaker 1>And how cool for a preschooler to have your teenage

0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:13.120
<v Speaker 1>big brother come to your class. Frankly, I think that's

0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:16.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot more special than having mommy come. Mommy does

0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:20.080
<v Speaker 1>a lot of preschool stuff, teenage brother not so much.

0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:24.320
<v Speaker 1>Especially as we head into December with all the extra

0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:28.040
<v Speaker 1>performances and holiday parties and the like. It can be

0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:31.720
<v Speaker 1>great to spread the love. Maybe grandparents can come to

0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:33.760
<v Speaker 1>a band concert and take the kid out for ice

0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:37.080
<v Speaker 1>cream while you are traveling or are at another kid's

0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:40.120
<v Speaker 1>dance recital which happens to be at the exact same time.

0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Maybe a neighbor can bake cookies with a kid. If

0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:46.040
<v Speaker 1>you are tied up with swim meats on multiple weekends

0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:50.080
<v Speaker 1>with another child. This is also true for visiting elderly

0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:54.160
<v Speaker 1>relatives or driving them to appointments or errands. It doesn't

0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:58.120
<v Speaker 1>always have to be you. If you can mobilize friends

0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:00.440
<v Speaker 1>or a broader network to visit and help out from

0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:04.720
<v Speaker 1>time to time, there's less pressure on everyone. Your mother

0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.720
<v Speaker 1>might enjoy a half hour visit from your childhood best friend,

0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:11.640
<v Speaker 1>and your childhood best friend, who also has elderly parents,

0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:16.560
<v Speaker 1>will be perfectly comfortable interacting with a little invitation or nudge.

0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:20.640
<v Speaker 1>Your mom's former neighbor might be willing to visit too,

0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Or maybe a friend just had a new baby or

0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.679
<v Speaker 1>is recovering from surgery and you know her family could

0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.840
<v Speaker 1>use help with meals. You don't have to cook for

0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:33.520
<v Speaker 1>her family and yours every night. Create a meal train

0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.400
<v Speaker 1>and rally others to help out, or send lots of

0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:41.720
<v Speaker 1>door dash gift certificates those work as well. As people

0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.480
<v Speaker 1>say it takes a village to raise a child, it

0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:46.880
<v Speaker 1>also takes a village to care for other relatives and

0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:50.680
<v Speaker 1>keep them connected. It takes a village to get through

0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:55.560
<v Speaker 1>hard times. Don't assume that you have to be everything

0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:58.840
<v Speaker 1>to the people you love. One of the best gifts

0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:01.240
<v Speaker 1>you can offer is to invite other people to extend

0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:05.200
<v Speaker 1>their love and support too. This takes pressure off you

0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:07.800
<v Speaker 1>and lets your loved ones see the broader family and

0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:11.280
<v Speaker 1>community that will support them. There's a lot to be

0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:16.799
<v Speaker 1>said for all of that. In the meantime, this is Laura.

0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:22.040
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:31.680
<v Speaker 1>our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've

0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:35.880
<v Speaker 1>got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at

0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:45.000
<v Speaker 1>Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a

0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:49.760
<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit

0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:53.640
<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

0:04:53.640 --> 0:05:04.640
<v Speaker 1>your favorite shows.