1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: tip is that you are not the only one who 4 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 1: can show love and support to your kids, friends, and 5 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 1: extended family. Other people can show up for them too. 6 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: It doesn't always have to be you, and there may 7 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,160 Speaker 1: be upsides to showing people the breadth of people who 8 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: support them. So my husband and I have five kids 9 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: and two busy careers, so it is simply not possible 10 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: to be out everything for every kid. It is not 11 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: even a matter of work and life clashing. You know 12 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: that trope of someone being devastated because a late flight 13 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: means she misses the softball game. In my case, it 14 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: is often life and life clashing. If one kid has 15 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: a game at the same time as another kid's game, 16 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: there is no way to be at both simultaneously. It 17 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: doesn't matter if you are super mom or super dad. 18 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: It is still not physically possible. When people say things 19 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: like I've never missed a game, I think, well, they 20 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: just must not have that many kids. But anyway, I digress. 21 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: We go to a lot and miss other things when 22 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,279 Speaker 1: we can't do something we can often enlist someone else 23 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: to go instead. For instance, my five year old had 24 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 1: a special person's tea last spring at school, right around 25 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: Mother's Day. I am very glad they called it special persons. 26 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: I was speaking overseas and my husband was also gone. 27 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 1: So who went our fifteen year old son, who happened 28 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: to have the morning off school because the high school 29 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: was doing some testing that he wasn't scheduled to need 30 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: to do. My older son was a good sport about it. 31 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:09,239 Speaker 1: And how cool for a preschooler to have your teenage 32 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: big brother come to your class. Frankly, I think that's 33 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: a lot more special than having mommy come. Mommy does 34 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 1: a lot of preschool stuff, teenage brother not so much. 35 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: Especially as we head into December with all the extra 36 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: performances and holiday parties and the like. It can be 37 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: great to spread the love. Maybe grandparents can come to 38 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: a band concert and take the kid out for ice 39 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 1: cream while you are traveling or are at another kid's 40 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: dance recital which happens to be at the exact same time. 41 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: Maybe a neighbor can bake cookies with a kid. If 42 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: you are tied up with swim meats on multiple weekends 43 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: with another child. This is also true for visiting elderly 44 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: relatives or driving them to appointments or errands. It doesn't 45 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: always have to be you. If you can mobilize friends 46 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: or a broader network to visit and help out from 47 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: time to time, there's less pressure on everyone. Your mother 48 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: might enjoy a half hour visit from your childhood best friend, 49 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: and your childhood best friend, who also has elderly parents, 50 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: will be perfectly comfortable interacting with a little invitation or nudge. 51 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: Your mom's former neighbor might be willing to visit too, 52 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: Or maybe a friend just had a new baby or 53 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,679 Speaker 1: is recovering from surgery and you know her family could 54 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 1: use help with meals. You don't have to cook for 55 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: her family and yours every night. Create a meal train 56 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: and rally others to help out, or send lots of 57 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: door dash gift certificates those work as well. As people 58 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: say it takes a village to raise a child, it 59 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: also takes a village to care for other relatives and 60 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 1: keep them connected. It takes a village to get through 61 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: hard times. Don't assume that you have to be everything 62 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: to the people you love. One of the best gifts 63 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: you can offer is to invite other people to extend 64 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: their love and support too. This takes pressure off you 65 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: and lets your loved ones see the broader family and 66 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: community that will support them. There's a lot to be 67 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:16,799 Speaker 1: said for all of that. In the meantime, this is Laura. 68 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 69 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've 70 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at 71 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a 72 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit 73 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 74 00:04:53,640 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.