Speaker 1: Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
Speaker 1: put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
Speaker 1: share with you on our daily podcast. You know, each
Speaker 1: night we have a little feature we call you a
Speaker 1: Delilah Dilemma. I don't know how long we've been doing this,
Speaker 1: but you tell me a problem, a situation, and I
Speaker 1: try to solve it in you know, thirty seconds or less,
Speaker 1: which we all know cannot be done. I know that,
Speaker 1: but it's still kind of fun. If you would like
Speaker 1: to send me your Delilah dilemma, I will do my
Speaker 1: best to share some words of wisdom. Not that I
Speaker 1: don't have a doctorate's, I don't have a PhD. I
Speaker 1: don't have a master's. I don't have a degree. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not giving you professional advice. I'm a mom and
Speaker 1: I've you know, been around the block three times maybe four.
Speaker 1: Tonight's Llilah's dilemma is from a listener who writes, Dear Delilah,
Speaker 1: my wife and I have been together since two thousand
Speaker 1: and one. Our marriage was very happy until I started
Speaker 1: and this is his words, not mine, misbehaving, drinking too much,
Speaker 1: and being angry a lot. It created a distance between us,
Speaker 1: while she begged me to change. I promised to and
Speaker 1: then I broke those promises, and of course she drifted
Speaker 1: away from me emotionally. Eventually I caught on and changed
Speaker 1: my life. But she is saying that it's now too late.
Speaker 1: She has found another and she has feelings for him.
Speaker 1: We still live together, but I don't know if she
Speaker 1: will ever forgive me, though I'm motivated to do whatever
Speaker 1: it takes. I'd like to dedicate a special song to
Speaker 1: her and ask if you have any advice. I do
Speaker 1: have advice, and I will share those words with you.
Speaker 1: Coming up now. Next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a
Speaker 1: listener who's been with his wife for over twenty years.
Speaker 1: Twenty one years, And the thing I want to focus
Speaker 1: on is you write and you said our marriage was
Speaker 1: happy until I started misbehaving, Like you're a child. That's misbehaving.
Speaker 1: My six year old misbehaves sometimes, my thirteen year old misbehaves.
Speaker 1: When my eighteen year old does things that she knows
Speaker 1: are wrong, that's not misbehaving. That is making a conscious
Speaker 1: choice to do something that you realize and you know
Speaker 1: is hurting someone else. So no, you weren't misbehaving. You
Speaker 1: were treating your wife like she didn't matter, because she didn't.
Speaker 1: Your drinking came first, Your anger came before your love
Speaker 1: for your wife. And over time, because you made promises
Speaker 1: and you did not keep them, you showed her by
Speaker 1: your actions that your addictions, your drinking, your anger, your
Speaker 1: rage was far more important than her heart. So of
Speaker 1: course she drifted away. You pushed her away. She didn't
Speaker 1: drift away, You shoved her away, And every time you'd
Speaker 1: make a promise and break it, you pushed her harder
Speaker 1: and further, and now her heart is gone. If you
Speaker 1: want to save your marriage, which I don't think you can,
Speaker 1: but if you want to try to save your marriage,
Speaker 1: work on you. Go to AA. If you need to
Speaker 1: get help, go to a support group for anger issues,
Speaker 1: talk to a counselor talk to a pastor or somebody
Speaker 1: that you trust. Talk to your brother or your barber,
Speaker 1: or whoever you trust that you can talk to, and
Speaker 1: get this toxic anger out of your heart and out
Speaker 1: of your life. Perhaps, as you truly change, maybe her
Speaker 1: heart will soften. But even if she doesn't, you still
Speaker 1: need to change, dude. For you, you still need to
Speaker 1: become a better human being. So focus on you, focus
Speaker 1: on healing you, and then see if magic might happen again.
Speaker 1: Good luck, God bless you. If you need some book
Speaker 1: title ideas, I can point you in the right direction.
Speaker 2: Okay, God bless.
Speaker 1: Tonight's Delilah's dilemma, says Hi Delilah. I'd like your advice
Speaker 1: on how to help her encourage my son. He is
Speaker 1: twenty three and he is stuck in a rut. He
Speaker 1: graduated high school four years ago. He attended community college
Speaker 1: but didn't finish school wasn't easy for him. He does
Speaker 1: have a job, it's the same job had in high school.
Speaker 1: The hours vary so it's not even full time. I'm
Speaker 1: worried for his future and his ability to support himself.
Speaker 1: He doesn't show any interest in a specific field, nor
Speaker 1: seem to have any ambition or motivation to change his situation.
Speaker 1: My husband and I both work, and we both have
Speaker 1: a strong work ethic, so it's upsetting to see him
Speaker 1: not having a clue on where or how to start
Speaker 1: his life. I know all parents say this, but he
Speaker 1: really is a very good person. He is smart, funny, caring,
Speaker 1: has a great personality. My husband and I go back
Speaker 1: and forth on how best to help him, and then
Speaker 1: we end up arguing about it. Are ultimatums the only
Speaker 1: way to proceed. I don't want my son to be
Speaker 1: forty years old and living in my basement. What would
Speaker 1: you do? That's a darn good question, and I will
Speaker 1: I will share my lack of advice. Coming up next
Speaker 1: Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a couple who have a
Speaker 1: twenty three year old living at home in the basement,
Speaker 1: not motivated to do anything. What you left out is probably,
Speaker 1: while he is living in my basement, he's playing video
Speaker 1: games all day and all night, or he's watching TikTok
Speaker 1: all day in all night, or he's watching foreign soap
Speaker 1: operas all day in all night. How do I know that?
Speaker 1: Because I have two adult children doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: and I don't have any words of advice for you,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to get young people unstuck. I
Speaker 1: was so eager to get out of my parents' house.
Speaker 1: I was so eager to set the world on fire.
Speaker 1: I blew out of my parents' house the day I
Speaker 1: graduated high school. I couldn't wait to start my life
Speaker 1: and do fun and exciting things. So just like you,
Speaker 1: I don't get people who don't have that, who don't
Speaker 1: have that drive or that desire. And like I said,
Speaker 1: I have young adults, children in the same age group
Speaker 1: as yours doing the same thing or not doing the
Speaker 1: same thing. And what do you do?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe somebody listening has some good advice. They've gone through
Speaker 1: it and come up with a way to help their
Speaker 1: child to reach their full potential, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 1: If you have good advice for this listener and for me,
Speaker 1: please write to me. Go to my Facebook page and
Speaker 1: write to me. In the meantime, I think I'm going
Speaker 1: to start filling my basement up with my chicken collection.
Speaker 1: I have ceramic chickens, and I think maybe if I
Speaker 1: just start moving my art supplies and my ceramic chickens
Speaker 1: into the.
Speaker 2: Bay, maybe they'll get the clue.
Speaker 1: Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a sister who wants to
Speaker 1: have a relationship with her other sister that doesn't quite
Speaker 1: know how to go about it. She says, Hi, Delilah,
Speaker 1: I listen to your show all the time and absolutely
Speaker 1: love your inspiring words. I'm in need of a little
Speaker 1: guidance a few years ago, my sister and I rekindled
Speaker 1: our broken relationship. She is very active at a church
Speaker 1: my husband and I attend regularly. Recently, I'm feeling that
Speaker 1: she's not treating us fairly. For example, we got into
Speaker 1: an argument at Christmas time because the meal reimbursement I
Speaker 1: receive for volunteer work was late. She used to always
Speaker 1: sit with us when we would go to functions along
Speaker 1: with her adorable son. Now they set with her friends instead.
Speaker 1: In fact, she spends more time with her friends than
Speaker 1: with her family, and I'm feeling very hurt over this.
Speaker 1: I haven't mentioned any of this to her because it
Speaker 1: will probably start another argument. I don't want to lose
Speaker 1: my sister again. Please help me, all right, sister friend,
Speaker 1: I'm going to have my mother Delilah words for you
Speaker 1: coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a woman
Speaker 1: who wants a relationship with her sister but doesn't quite
Speaker 1: know how to go about that. And you say you
Speaker 1: got into an argument at Christmas time over a meal reimbursement. Really,
Speaker 1: you guys are arguing over things like that. If you
Speaker 1: want a relationship with your sister, then enter into a
Speaker 1: real relationship, and a real relationship does not have expectations,
Speaker 1: it doesn't have parameters. You don't say I will love
Speaker 1: you if or I will love you when you say
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you, I love hanging out
Speaker 1: with you. I'm not gonna argue over something as petty
Speaker 1: as a meal reimbursement, whatever that means. Don't argue over
Speaker 1: petty stuff. In fact, don't argue at all. If you
Speaker 1: feel like you're starting to argue, just hold your tongue
Speaker 1: and walk away and say I love you. Because if
Speaker 1: you want a relationship and you want to feel connected,
Speaker 1: then you're going to have to set aside petty grievances,
Speaker 1: silly nonsense like anger about meal reimbursements, jealousy about who
Speaker 1: she sits with, and just accept her for who she
Speaker 1: is and lover for who she is, and spend as
Speaker 1: much time as you can with her as she is.
Speaker 1: If you can do that, if you can just love
Speaker 1: unconditionally and without parameters or expectations, then I think you'll
Speaker 1: be able to rebuild your relationship. I so hope you
Speaker 1: have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I enjoy
Speaker 1: bringing them to you. I'll share more with you each
Speaker 1: weekday on Hey, It's Delilah do lo