WEBVTT - Janelle Monáe’s Hidden Struggles 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.720 Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:06.080 Red Table Pop Podcast, all your favorite episodes from the 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.239 Facebook Watch show in audio produced by Westbrook Audio and 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.360 I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:19.680 on Apple podcasts. Well, this was your special request. Every 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.560 single person I know, including me, is just obsessed with 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:27.159 your obsessedst us that. I just love everything that you 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:31.320 stand for. What got you ready to come out publicly? 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:37.400 My dad had gotten on crack cocaine. That changed our relationship. 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:41.519 I was dealing with real rejection, abandonment issues. What does 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.120 it mean a goal against your whole family? It can 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:47.839 be a lonely road as she was growing up and 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:53.240 finding herself. Was that difficult for you? You actually made 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:56.800 a book of essays. It was inspired by the album 0:00:56.920 --> 0:00:59.120 that I did, Dirty Computer. I can't wait to read it. 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:04.559 Here Where to make a dream Come True? Oh my god? 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:10.880 Why am I crying right now? Oh my god? Yeah, 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.280 back at the tape. This is going to be an 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:17.160 exciting one. It is well well, well, well, this was 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:22.200 your special request. It was and a good one. Our 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:25.480 special guest is an icon living and was on my 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.919 wish list of people I wanted to bring to the table. 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:33.840 She's a Grammy nominated cover girl, rebel, author, CEO, actor, 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:38.479 hero and genius. She describes herself as a free ass 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:42.640 mo foe and I love that I do too. Please 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:55.440 welcome Janelle Money here are Yes. Yes, I so excited. 0:01:55.760 --> 0:02:06.080 I got trying to be that's so great to settle 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:10.919 for the table time. I am such a fan. I'll 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:14.200 have no idea. I'm so thankful and just super honored 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:16.520 to be here. As soon as you Die started the show, 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:19.520 I was in. I was like, this is exactly what 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:21.680 we need, and we are all a fan of yours 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:25.600 as well. Every single person I know, including me, is 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:29.000 just obsessed with you. Thank you guys. I kind of 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:32.280 just want to jump in. Yeah. So you're from Kansas, Yes, 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.239 Kansas City, Kansas. I love it. I grew up in 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:37.880 a really big family. Yeah. My mom was like one 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.600 of twelve kids and she's the baby. My grandmother had 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:46.080 fourteen brothers and sisters, and she was a sharecropper in Aberdeen, Mississippi, 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:50.640 and they would share one pair of shoes. Yeah, and 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:56.919 so I have forty nine first cousins, So I know. 0:02:57.200 --> 0:03:01.040 I grew up Baptist, super religious, a super conservative so 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:03.880 I didn't love that. I didn't feel like I could 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:05.960 really dream big. I had to kind of create my 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:08.800 own world. I want to talk about the journey of 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:11.639 your sexuality and you realizing this is who I want 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:15.800 to be, this who I am in After years of 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:20.040 speculation and questions about her sexuality, Janelle made a bold 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:23.440 move and came out on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:27.880 She revealed she is pant sexual, someone attracted to all 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:33.240 sexes and genders. I'm non binary, so I just don't 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:38.720 see myself as a woman or solely or you know. 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.480 I feel all of my energy. I feel like God 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:44.840 is so much bigger than the heat or the sheet. 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:48.360 It's like it's like something. And if I am from God, 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:53.320 i am everything. I am everything. But I will always 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:57.720 always stand with women. I will always stand with black women. 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:03.480 But I just see everything that beyond beautiful, beyond the binary. 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:06.320 When I see people, I see your energy. I don't 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:09.560 see like how you identified totally, and I feel like 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:14.160 that opens you up to fall in love with with whoever, 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:19.039 with any beautiful spirit. You know, so interesting, the times 0:04:19.080 --> 0:04:23.719 they are changing, Yes, what got you ready to come 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:27.080 out publicly? Well, you know, somebody said, if you don't 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.720 work out the things that you need to work out first, 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:34.640 Yeah with the world. You've been working it out with 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.080 the world. Yeah, you don't want to do that. That's 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:40.200 what I didn't want to do. So, you know, I 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.679 thought I needed to have like all my answers correct. 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:45.160 I don't want to say the wrong thing. And also 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:49.600 I hadn't had the necessary conversations with my family, right. 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:53.920 I wasn't ready to have my family question my personal life. 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:56.560 For get calls from people that still look at me 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:58.400 as a little punking. That's what they called me back home, 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:02.040 Like are you a little punking? That's so cute. Nobody 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:04.920 calls me Janelle. I love that. When I got home, 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:08.640 I'm plunking. So it took me some time to be like, okay, mom. 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:13.080 She had a lot of questions at first, Okay, well 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:16.080 what does this mean? You know? And my grandmother rest 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:18.520 her so I love her, but she was super religious. Yeah, 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:22.760 you know, my whole family is church, church, church, and 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:24.719 I'm just like, what does it mean to go against 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:28.440 your whole family on this thing? But I was ready. 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:30.400 I was like, you know what, if they don't love me, 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:33.480 don't call me ask me for no money. You will 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:38.000 not get my l G B t Q plus money. 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.839 How about that? And I think that still someone still 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:44.000 are like, but let me be fly because I need to. Seriously, 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:47.920 you gotta love our people, you gotta love But yeah, 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:49.800 I needed to have those conversations. I didn't want to 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:52.559 work that out. Yeah, I needed to talk to my dad, 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:56.920 who was just great. My sister knew already because I've 0:05:56.920 --> 0:06:00.280 been in monogamous relationships, I've been in polyamorous relationship right, 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.520 but I knew that I couldn't be a little Punkin. 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:06.520 I couldn't be little Janelle. I had to be where 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:10.120 I was. I know who I am. I've been playing 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:13.440 a version of some parts of me, but now I'm 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:16.480 owning all of me. I had to own all of 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:18.800 me to really be able to talk about it publicly. Yeah, 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.240 that makes total. To be comfortable with who you are 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.080 first before you can share it with anyone else. Here's 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:28.600 the one point that I think most people miss. We 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:32.320 are so worried about other people accepting us. The first 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:39.160 question one has to ask, how come I don't accept myself? Okay, 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.760 And that's where the work starts. Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:46.240 Really having to look at yourself and go, why do 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:49.880 I have a problem with me? Me? Why am I 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:52.559 scared to step out and say if I'm a woman 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.800 who likes other women? Why is that so difficult for 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.160 me to just come out and say that. And it's like, well, 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:00.680 my mom might think this, and my dad might think that, 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:03.480 and my cousins might think this, and it's like, okay, 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:06.120 but what do you think about it? First? Do you think? 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:08.160 And then you got to go into oh, well I 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:10.960 was taught that that wasn't the right thing to do. Yeah, 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:13.240 I was taught that. And it's like now we have 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.720 to like we got a bass track and we have 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:19.080 to read. We have to get to unravel all that, 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:23.720 and then we have to give ourselves new information, information 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:28.160 foundation for ourselves to sit on. You know that God 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:33.200 loves all people, yea, God don't make mistakes. And so 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.880 the more we get comfortable with ourselves and the more 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:40.280 that we can walk in our own skin, we don't 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:45.040 really expect or need others like you coming around. You 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:49.760 gotta be bringing right because I don't need your validation exactly. 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:56.120 Were you always this unapologetic, fearless? Absolutely not. I've been 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:58.360 doing a lot of healing I'm sure most of us 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:01.320 have been in the pandemic. Is when you have to 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.200 stay in, you go in. Right. I was thinking back 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.440 to when I first started, and I was like man 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:09.960 as as free as I was on stage, when I 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:13.880 came off stage, I was still that scared little girl, 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:16.760 like I'm not good enough. That was always in the 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:19.360 back of my mind. Well, they love me. I just 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:22.840 remember pulling my hair because I wanted my hair to 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:26.080 be longer, because all of the older girls used to 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:29.440 love playing in the younger little girl's hair. And I 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:31.840 have friends who had really long, like silky hair, And 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.200 I was just like I never never feeling good enough. 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:37.080 You know. My parents were not together, and I always 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.800 thought it was me the reason why that, Like, why 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:44.120 am I not being taken care of by my dad? 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:49.600 He had gotten on crack cocaine and that changed his life. 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:54.640 That changed out our relationship. Now he's completely sobers, doing incredible. 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.040 That's like my best friend. But this was when he 0:08:57.120 --> 0:08:59.840 was sick. At this time, right, I was dealing with 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:03.960 real rejection abandonment issues. What if people leave me was 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.719 a direct correlation to my dad, you know, And I 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.680 always feeling like if I wasn't perfect, will they leave 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:14.240 me or if I I don't want to feel the 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:18.160 pain of anybody leaving. Does that make deeply? It makes 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:20.800 a lot of sense. Yeah. Do you feel like you 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:25.080 can relate to those feelings of abandonment and rejection with 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.800 your father as well? Oh my god, Yeah, you know, 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:31.800 my mother's recovering addict and my dad was an addict, 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:34.600 and part of me coming into this industry, I ran 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:38.240 into the same thing of just like, oh my god, 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:42.280 people are having all these demands and me and I 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:45.880 got afraid of success because I said, I don't want 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:51.440 to feel the hurt when it all goes away, right, 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:55.800 And so I actually started playing myself really small and 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.480 started hiding behind being a mother and all of that 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:01.720 kind of stuff because I was like, that's not for me. Yeah, 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:05.400 you know, but I had to confront all that, deal 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:10.080 with it and heal it. Yeah, you know, slowly emerge 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:14.280 in my more authentic self instead of trying to be 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:19.760 something for every body. And it's been a hell of 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.760 a journey. But it is a treacherous thing I have 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:25.720 to do publicly. Yeah, it can be a lonely road. 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:28.640 The moments that I felt most disappointed was when I 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:32.599 was afraid, Yeah, because I was afraid of failing. This 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:36.000 is very important in regards to just bringing it all 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:40.000 back to abandonment, because you've dealt with this too in 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:43.480 your fears of like how people think about you and 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:46.959 think about things, and it's how do you fear It's 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:49.400 like a universal problem because we all want to be 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:53.360 part of a tribe where wired humans are wired to 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:55.840 want to be accepted by the community. You will have 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.000 your community even as your authentic self. And that's the 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:02.000 thing that we miss we need to and it's knowing 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:07.560 that those who can't ride with you as your authentic 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:18.360 self hard right to the faster you get to you 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:25.680 you're that's amazing. And we're trying to hatch one two 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:30.600 trips that don't belong. They don't. It's like a play, right, 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.080 They're going to be reoccurring characters. You know, they're going 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:37.000 to be folks that won't make it back for the 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:39.080 second act. That's right, and we have to just be 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.840 fine with letting go. You go to different levels in 0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:44.800 your life, everybody can't come. The people that are supposed 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:48.400 to be with me, they are going to find. Yeah, 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:52.240 so we're about to make a dream come true. Okay, okay, 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:55.400 this is one of your biggest fans. They're in a 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.160 hotel room down the street preparing to come to the 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:03.120 tablet we like it. They have no idea that you're here, 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.880 so the RTT team is going to let us know 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:11.880 when they arrive. I really explained it. Wow. But first, 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:15.800 Janelle's fans call themselves fan droids and have so many 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:19.600 burning questions for you. Let's roll the first one. Oh gosh, 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:23.880 be nice, guys, yo, whatever it table. My name is 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:28.000 Andre from the South side of Chicago. Janelle. So many 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.840 people look up to you, and I've always been amazed 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:35.440 and impressed by your journey. My question for you is 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:38.720 what is the best piece of advice that you have 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:44.000 ever received? Who Oh, I have received a lot of 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:49.400 advice that I mean I listened to. Literally. One of 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:53.280 the things that we have to realize is that everybody 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.720 is not going to be happy for you. Oh say 0:12:56.600 --> 0:13:01.000 that part. Say it in your circle, that's right. And externally, 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:07.839 you're going to come up against people that will pretend like, oh, 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:11.480 this is so great, But because they feel close to 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:15.640 your orbit, they think you owe them something. They make 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:19.440 you feel guilty about not giving them something. And not 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:23.000 really happy because maybe you're aware they wanted to be here. 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:27.320 I wish I would have known that sooner, you know, 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:30.360 because it would have saved me a lot of just 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:34.440 like expectations of well, I thought this was supposed to be, 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:36.840 you know, a best friend or a family member, and 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:40.199 here they are telling me that they were jealous, or 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.880 even if they didn't say it, their actions were just 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:51.120 like stemming from that. You know, what's the next question? Hi, 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:55.280 my name's Be I'm from London and I find that 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:58.960 heartbreak can be one of the most inspiring places to 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:02.440 create from. So my question is, what's been one of 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:08.720 your biggest heartbreaks. Oh, that's a very good question. I 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:13.320 think my biggest heartbreak is when I let myself down 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:17.840 about like when I feel like I'm scared. I didn't 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:21.280 really take in that moment like I can relate to. Yeah, yeah, 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:26.040 it's like I'm judging myself and then you're sitting in regret. Yes, yeah, 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:29.160 I've done that so many times after performances, like I 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.680 look back at him like this was wrong, this was wrong, 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:34.160 and it just breaks my heart. Why did I pile 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:37.720 onto myself? Yeah, Like it's enough people that don't know 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.120 me that will have things to say, but I was 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.280 joining in on that and that's what helped me. You 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:47.520 can relate to Yeah, the amount of self torture I've 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:53.240 done after shows, albums, anything, it's it's ridiculous. I feel 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:55.080 like artists we just can we can relate to them. 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.800 We can be in our own head. And that's definitely 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.080 a heartbreak and you're the only one that can fix that. 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.960 You have to really let it go and really believe 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:07.120 I can't do that to me. I love me. I 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.240 just love everything that you stand for. So so many 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.000 people find you at such a huge inspiration. Let me 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.920 just say, when you made the choice to say no, mom, 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:19.760 no dad, this is what I want to do totally, 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.200 that was inspiring for me during the time when I 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.600 was trying to ask myself what I wanted to do. 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:27.440 When I was making decisions, I was like if little 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:34.200 Willow like like hit and then like no, that's not 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:38.120 what I want to do, and then completely blossoms into 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:44.520 something that feels so just organically you. When I saw you, 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:49.480 I was just like flabbergast. I always like, in the 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:53.360 best possible way, let me ask you. We're talking about 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:56.720 how much you inspired other people, But who did you 0:15:56.760 --> 0:16:00.360 look to for inspiration? I am a Lauren Hill, just piple. 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.440 I had always thought she looked like somebody in my 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:04.880 family so much so when I met her, she said 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:06.720 that to me. Um, but I knew I couldn't be 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.720 like her, like she's one of one, so I had 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.960 to really figure out Genomon day. That's right. So that 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.960 was inspiring. And also Prince, I actually was scared of 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.280 Prince though before I met him. I had a dream 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.040 that he would chase me around in a purple suit, 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:27.440 Prince very witchy energy. It was super like and and 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:30.680 and then when I met him though, it was just like, man, Yeah, 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:38.920 like he never allowed his mystery to get in the 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:42.800 way of his mentorship. That's right, Like he never allowed that. Wait, 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:46.080 hold on repeat that he never allowed his mystery to 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:49.400 get in the way of his instorship. And that's something 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:52.760 I try to live by. Never allowed that. You got 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:56.600 to share these seeds, man, like we need each up, 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:59.280 like somebody who has walked this path being able to 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:00.800 sit down and tell to you and say, here are 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.120 the mistakes that I made, Here's what I see you're 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.439 doing amazing, Here's where I see you know, maybe you 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:08.560 may need some help here. We were very close, very 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:12.440 very close, and I always he just always feels with me. 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.639 And the main thing I always admired about Prince was 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:19.600 just the scope of his musicianship. Yeah, Like you would 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:21.480 look at the credits on a song, it would be 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:29.680 like base Prince, every keyboard press like wow. Oh yes, 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:33.960 So this photo, this was me opening up for him. 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:37.080 He came out during my set and performed with me. 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.960 I featured him on my second album. He didn't charge 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:46.720 me anything to be on my own. So you actually 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:50.120 made a book of essays yea a short story sci 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:54.840 fi um collection, and it was inspired by the album 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.280 and the film that I did. Dirty Computer. They started 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.360 calling us computers. You a dirty If you look different, 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:04.960 you're dirty if you refused to live the way they dictating. 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:09.160 Janelle has turned her futuristic vision into a new sci 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:13.120 fi book, The Memory Librarian. The five short stories, each 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:16.520 written by a different co author, explore queer identity, race, 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.800 and love. All are set in the same harsh future, 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:23.479 a dismal place where anyone labeled deviant has their memories 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.199 wiped clean, so they forget who they love and what 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:31.639 they believe. Wow. So if you're a dirty computer, if 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:35.160 you're queer, if you don't share the same religious beliefs, 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:38.320 if you buck up against the system in any way. 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:42.400 They cleaned all the memories so they can manipulate them 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.679 and make this place called New Don be exactly what 0:18:45.720 --> 0:18:47.879 they wanted to be. I'm just having goose bumps right now. 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:52.680 I'm just like collaborated with five black writers Danny lore, 0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:58.560 Eve el Ewing, Shari Rene Thomas, Janka Delgado, and Elijah 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:01.680 Don Johnson. But the cool thing about the Memory Librarian 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:05.760 is all of the leads are non binary black folks 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:07.480 in the l g B, t q q I plus 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:11.119 community or women. Yeah, we don't just stay down like 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:14.800 we get up. You know, this is a reminder that 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:18.680 in every era, if you try to oppress the marginalized, 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:21.680 you will not win. So that's the message of the book. 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:24.119 That is the message of the book, And to protect 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:27.600 your memories. Our memories make up the quality of our life. 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:31.240 I can't wait to I can't wait to read it. Right, 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:35.280 we wanted to meet the woman that brought you to 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:39.480 this planet. Oh my mommy, I love my mom so much. 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:44.320 That lady, I mean a firecracker, like will say what 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.640 is on her mind? She had me really young. She 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:51.720 was working class, she was a janitor, was always in 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:54.640 the front row at the talent showcases, like my baby. 0:19:55.320 --> 0:20:15.480 People call her Madam Hawthorne. That's right. I love you. 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:18.639 I love now. I'm just happy that somebody invited me. 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:25.919 I said, are you kidding me? The red table? This 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:29.200 is my ride or died when I tell you ride 0:20:29.200 --> 0:20:32.320 it out? I'm just like, that's it. I've taken her 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:34.040 with me when I was gone to the White House, 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:36.920 and they just followed it away. Your mom, that's right, 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:40.639 like my mom better than me. Hello, you look so cute. 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:46.640 Thank you man, I said, you just like her. As 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:51.760 I was watching her and all of you interacting, I said, 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:56.400 Janelle and Will they are a mess. Oh yes, right here. 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:03.840 You're so beautiful. You get it all. Look the body, 0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:09.000 all of it. Everyone. I want you, Rodney, oh my 0:21:10.680 --> 0:21:17.000 rod And I just recently got me a booth. Hello, okay, 0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:21.399 love that. I go down the lat Jada, and you 0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:25.359 are so totality. I watch every movie that you have made. 0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:29.280 Thank you so good. Thank you. As she was growing 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:33.480 up and finding herself, was that difficult for you, specifically 0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:41.600 around her sexuality too? Oh, well, she talked to me 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:45.280 about it before she decided to come out, so I 0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:49.800 was very understanding and shade up. When people are an 0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:53.240 adult and make their own money, what can you say 0:21:53.040 --> 0:21:57.399 to all this one. I can't say nothing, you and 0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:02.160 me or in the same exactly. Very proud of her. 0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:07.600 I love her unconditional. Nobody will take that away from m. 0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:13.120 But I get a lot of backlash about you now. 0:22:13.359 --> 0:22:15.960 I tell them back at home, I said, who are 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:19.560 you to judge? There? You go? You stick up for 0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:22.720 her all the time, and they don't want the bear 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:25.600 to come out of there you go. I know about 0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:30.320 that too. I love that because they're always our little babies. 0:22:30.480 --> 0:22:33.240 And I tell you, it don't take you long to 0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:36.440 stay mad at me. Well, how long does she stay 0:22:36.480 --> 0:22:41.760 mad at you? Oh? We usually talk. We talked, trying 0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:44.680 not to let it sit for long. That we've only 0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:48.000 had a couple of bumpings, you know, but we we 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:52.280 definitely were both really passionate. Yeah, so I'll just go allright. 0:22:52.560 --> 0:22:54.720 We sometimes need to take a moment apart to get 0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:58.680 our thoughts together. But that's never long. Yeah, that's never long. 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:00.760 But I need her, so I can't be going with 0:23:01.320 --> 0:23:03.760 I can't. I'll be like, I'm mad, but can you 0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:11.119 give me advice? This is reverse. I need her. I 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:15.960 need her too, Yeah, I need her. I need her. 0:23:13.840 --> 0:23:20.159 We know how to love. Yes, that's right. Grandma taught me. 0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:25.320 Grandma and you taught Jade. I can tell. I just 0:23:25.440 --> 0:23:28.399 want to talking to somebody. Jaydom, you probably understand what 0:23:28.440 --> 0:23:32.040 I'm saying right now. I said, listen, all of us 0:23:32.080 --> 0:23:34.600 are not going to be wealthy. It's pick and choose 0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:38.359 who's going to be wealthy and Janelle, praise the Lord. 0:23:38.600 --> 0:23:41.679 Everybody's not gonna be They want to get your autographed, 0:23:41.720 --> 0:23:45.520 they want to see you a film or whatever. They 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:49.280 want to do. Chosen people or that a way you've 0:23:49.280 --> 0:23:52.919 been chosen. Jade has been chosen me. Yeah, mate, we've 0:23:52.960 --> 0:23:56.560 been chosen. But I'm gonna change that for you. What's 0:23:56.600 --> 0:23:59.480 that I'm gonna change that for you? I gotta treat 0:23:59.560 --> 0:24:04.320 will you. I'm a touch, got a beautiful soon, you 0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:08.040 got a beautiful heart, and you are a vessel for 0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:13.879 that beautiful woman. I try to be a chosen I 0:24:13.920 --> 0:24:18.520 don't ever, ever, ever ever think you know you are beautiful. 0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:22.560 That's so weird. I feel that I feeling it's a 0:24:22.680 --> 0:24:25.680 vibration at this table, We'll see I can see your 0:24:25.720 --> 0:24:34.760 heart right. Do you do you do? Jack? I told 0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:41.960 somebody I'm scared. Everyone's the Miss Janey's so happy to 0:24:42.040 --> 0:24:46.600 have you here. We also have a um we have 0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:51.520 super fans that up a secret mission. Oh my goodness 0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:57.120 for one of your biggest fans. We flew oh say, 0:24:57.640 --> 0:25:00.840 I never had a trailer or go. Can I think 0:25:00.880 --> 0:25:06.560 for sure that from Ohio to California to meet you. 0:25:06.920 --> 0:25:11.119 But for just a little story of oh say, Hira 0:25:11.280 --> 0:25:14.119 table talk. My name is Osa Oregon. I'm twenty one 0:25:14.160 --> 0:25:16.879 years old and I'm in Columbus, Ohio. I used the 0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:19.720 pronouns day, then there's and I identify as queer and 0:25:19.800 --> 0:25:22.240 non binary. I know you're doing a show about people 0:25:22.280 --> 0:25:24.359 we admire, so I want to tell you about the 0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:27.239 impact Janelle Money has had on my life. When I 0:25:27.280 --> 0:25:29.840 was eleven, my mom introduced me to Jenelle. She sent 0:25:29.920 --> 0:25:36.560 me a video for a song called Tyrote. In the video, 0:25:37.000 --> 0:25:40.840 she's wearing this iconic tailored, dapper black and white suit 0:25:41.160 --> 0:25:43.760 with this black bow tie, and she's singing about the 0:25:43.800 --> 0:25:47.159 importance of her own self confidence. I saw a proud 0:25:47.240 --> 0:25:50.359