1
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,520
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

2
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:19,320
Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

3
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:22,520
Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

4
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,640
Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy Hard and Bradford,

5
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

6
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,600
Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

7
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you

8
00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:43,479
Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is

9
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,440
Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with

10
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:57,440
Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

11
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,760
Speaker 1: for joining me. From session four thirty of the Therapy

12
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,200
Speaker 1: for Black Girls podcast. We'll get right into our conversation

13
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:14,560
Speaker 1: after a word from our sponsors. It's no longer a

14
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,400
Speaker 1: nineties kind of world, but I'm so glad we got

15
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 1: these girls. This week on Therapy for Black Girls, we're

16
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:25,160
Speaker 1: joined by cultural icons Erica Alexander and Kim Coles, two

17
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,080
Speaker 1: of the stars of the beloved ninety sitcom Living Single.

18
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,440
Speaker 1: Now co hosts of the Reliving Single podcast, Erica and

19
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,760
Speaker 1: Kim are taking a walk down memory lane, revisiting the

20
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,800
Speaker 1: episodes that made us laugh, cry, and feel seen. In

21
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,160
Speaker 1: this conversation, they share what it's been like to reconnect

22
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,680
Speaker 1: with their characters and each other, unpacking the hides and

23
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,600
Speaker 1: loads of fame, the challenges they faced as black women

24
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,640
Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry, and the mental health journeys that

25
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:56,800
Speaker 1: shape them both on and off screen, From navigating rejection

26
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,480
Speaker 1: and typecasting to learning how to prioritize their healing. Erica

27
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,320
Speaker 1: and Kim offer a vulnerable, powerful reflection on sisterhood, creativity,

28
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,239
Speaker 1: and the importance of telling our own stories. If something

29
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,560
Speaker 1: resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share with

30
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,920
Speaker 1: us on social media using the hashtag TVG in Session,

31
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,839
Speaker 1: or join us over on our Patreon channel to talk

32
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,600
Speaker 1: more about the episode. You can join us at community

33
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:29,880
Speaker 1: dot therapy for Blackgirls dot Com. Here's our conversation. Thank

34
00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:34,000
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us, Erica and Kim, Thank you.

35
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:34,480
Speaker 2: Doctor Joy.

36
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,200
Speaker 3: Thank you for having Thank you, doctor Joy.

37
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,880
Speaker 1: I'm very excited. I've been in anticipating chatting with you all.

38
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 1: So when you were joining Living Single, did you have

39
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,359
Speaker 1: any idea of the legacy that it would leave behind.

40
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,440
Speaker 2: Eric is looking at me because she knows that I

41
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,280
Speaker 2: always say that I knew the moment the six of

42
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,760
Speaker 2: us got into a room together we had our first

43
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,760
Speaker 2: table read. I felt the magic immediately, and I couldn't

44
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,679
Speaker 2: have known how long it would go and what it

45
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,120
Speaker 2: would mean, but it felt like magic and I felt

46
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,800
Speaker 2: like it was gonna absolutely work.

47
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was the one who knew. It was twenty

48
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,400
Speaker 3: three coming into this, and we all were young cooking

49
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,239
Speaker 3: into this, so legacy no. I was thinking about pregnancy, like,

50
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,440
Speaker 3: don't get pregnant that kind. Then you don't even have

51
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,840
Speaker 3: an idea of what legacy is. You get hired to

52
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,080
Speaker 3: do things and you're hoping that it does well and

53
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,880
Speaker 3: that you could do your job. But at the time Kim,

54
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,600
Speaker 3: they were building the show around Kim and Queen Latifa,

55
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:32,480
Speaker 3: so they had already created a significant footprint in the

56
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,200
Speaker 3: industry enough to get a deal and be popular enough

57
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,560
Speaker 3: to have a studio create a show for Meanwhile, back

58
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,520
Speaker 3: at the ranch, I'm doing the work, you know, still

59
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,760
Speaker 3: still out there. So that was different, and you come

60
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:45,880
Speaker 3: in with different mindsets.

61
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,520
Speaker 2: I had come off of in Living Color, like about

62
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,960
Speaker 2: a year and a half or so prior, and the

63
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 2: energy for me on that show was completely different from

64
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,920
Speaker 2: the energy that I was feeling in this room. So

65
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,480
Speaker 2: maybe I was hoping that it would be a great

66
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,160
Speaker 2: experience because it felt from the beginning that it would

67
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,240
Speaker 2: be a ring experience, and that other show for me

68
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,720
Speaker 2: was not that. I think I put my expectations on

69
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,920
Speaker 2: this being great because there was such a collaborative experience

70
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:13,880
Speaker 2: from the very beginning.

71
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,479
Speaker 1: In addition to it being collaborative, what else about the

72
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,680
Speaker 1: energy felt very different about this project.

73
00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,000
Speaker 2: I would say that we were all coming from different

74
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,000
Speaker 2: worlds and different disciplines. You have Kim Field, who was

75
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,320
Speaker 2: already a legend and a legacy. You know, we all

76
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,720
Speaker 2: grew up wanting to be that little girl who always

77
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:36,479
Speaker 2: say with a little fluffy bag, This little black girl

78
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,840
Speaker 2: was excellent. We had John Hinton come from the world

79
00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,000
Speaker 2: of stand up, which was my world too. You had

80
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,160
Speaker 2: TC Carson, who I didn't know the time, had been

81
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,760
Speaker 2: singing and dancing and for years and years we'd seen

82
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,560
Speaker 2: him in that movie Living at Large. And of course

83
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,800
Speaker 2: Queen Latifa is Queen Lativa, and Erica Alexander I knew

84
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,480
Speaker 2: his cousin Pam, and it just felt like we were

85
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,160
Speaker 2: coming from different worlds, all coming in this intersect action

86
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,640
Speaker 2: of black Joy.

87
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,480
Speaker 1: I love that. So we've seen other shows like Golden

88
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,120
Speaker 1: Girls and two two seven kind of play with this

89
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,800
Speaker 1: idea of the trope of four best friends, but it

90
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,400
Speaker 1: feels like Living Single really popularized that trope, at least

91
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,960
Speaker 1: for me. What would you say about some of the

92
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,360
Speaker 1: shows that have followed and kind of followed in those

93
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,520
Speaker 1: footsteps of the four best friends trope.

94
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,040
Speaker 3: Well, it kind of seems to be a formula in

95
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,840
Speaker 3: the recipe that works. Obviously, there are archetypes built into that.

96
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,800
Speaker 3: You can have the friend who's more lusty, you can

97
00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,280
Speaker 3: have the one who's anchored. If you're looking at our show,

98
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,520
Speaker 3: we have these archetypes. Certainly Golden Girls does Sex and

99
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,599
Speaker 3: the City. You have one that's also more about money

100
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,800
Speaker 3: and materialism, and then you also have the one who's

101
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:50,520
Speaker 3: more simplistic and innocent and maybe more vulnerable, and that works.

102
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,520
Speaker 3: So it's not created by anybody, it's just how some

103
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,240
Speaker 3: of these things. The fact that there are other shows,

104
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,120
Speaker 3: and there are other shows that we're certainly glad that

105
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,880
Speaker 3: they were successful did so well is the testimony to

106
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,120
Speaker 3: the show runners who understood that recipe was strong, and

107
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,039
Speaker 3: then they just put different people in them.

108
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,640
Speaker 1: And Erica, you recently had the chance to be on

109
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,000
Speaker 1: Run the World, which was I think another show that

110
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,120
Speaker 1: kind of followed in some of that recipe. What was

111
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:14,840
Speaker 1: that like for you?

112
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,039
Speaker 3: That was great? You know, part of that recipe was

113
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,520
Speaker 3: down to event Lee Bowser being a part of the

114
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,320
Speaker 3: stew there too, So yeah, it's gone on. And then

115
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:26,560
Speaker 3: there's Harlem too. Those young women are wonderful performers and actresses.

116
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:31,200
Speaker 3: I think anytime you can create a female centric world,

117
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:35,480
Speaker 3: it's good for everyone because for so many centuries and

118
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,599
Speaker 3: years it was done with a male point of view,

119
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,440
Speaker 3: certainly a white male point of view. Most of Hollywood

120
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:44,000
Speaker 3: has built their whole library on that. Those shows often

121
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,039
Speaker 3: don't hold up as well. They're not sustainable, they're not

122
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:51,000
Speaker 3: organically sustainable. But where there are women, I just think

123
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,600
Speaker 3: the nurturing and the long term growth that you need. Yeah,

124
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,640
Speaker 3: that was great. I still am in fringed with those

125
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:57,800
Speaker 3: young women. They're wonderful.

126
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:02,200
Speaker 1: I love that. So continue a conversation about legacy. What

127
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,400
Speaker 1: does legacy mean to you now? As you are reliving

128
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,799
Speaker 1: living thingle through the Reliving Single podcast.

129
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,480
Speaker 2: We've had thirty plus years of living inside of these

130
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,440
Speaker 2: characters and having people on the street and people in

131
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,560
Speaker 2: the bank and people on the client you know, everywhere

132
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,840
Speaker 2: telling us how much they love the show and how

133
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,160
Speaker 2: it affected them or how they may have become an

134
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,120
Speaker 2: attorney because Maxine shaw At turning at Law made it possible,

135
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:33,640
Speaker 2: or witnessing the innocent love between Overton and Sinclair was possible.

136
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,520
Speaker 2: And so we've heard it for years and years and

137
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 2: years and years, right and now to have this beautiful

138
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 2: vessel that has been created for us to do this

139
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,840
Speaker 2: love letter to the fans and to relive the show

140
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,680
Speaker 2: piece by piece. You know, we're going step by steck

141
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:55,160
Speaker 2: through every aspect of the show and reliving things that

142
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,200
Speaker 2: we didn't know about each other, that we didn't know

143
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,080
Speaker 2: about the show, and digging into the culture and the

144
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,800
Speaker 2: meaning of all of it and the meaningfulness of all

145
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 2: of it. I think that it makes the legacy feel

146
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,240
Speaker 2: even richer. I knew it was gonna be there from

147
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,360
Speaker 2: the beginning. We get to see it all the time.

148
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,680
Speaker 2: Now we've created a home where people new people can

149
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,520
Speaker 2: even come in, and it's witness the depth.

150
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,920
Speaker 4: Of the legacy. So who knows where it's how far

151
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:19,360
Speaker 4: it will go.

152
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:23,080
Speaker 2: I think it's rich and it's real. Yeah.

153
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,880
Speaker 3: I also believe and I agree that. Excuse me, do

154
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 3: we both need to claricro quite? Let us do it?

155
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,640
Speaker 3: You know what? Earth okay?

156
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,000
Speaker 2: Keep that in the show.

157
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,199
Speaker 3: You know, there's the show and then there's show within

158
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,240
Speaker 3: the show. In the show, it's whatever we'd like it

159
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,680
Speaker 3: to be and what we'd like it to be. As

160
00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:48,480
Speaker 3: well as a love letter is a masterclass, you know,

161
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,880
Speaker 3: where we get to tell everybody what we've learned. But also,

162
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,960
Speaker 3: you know, talk about comedy. Kim Coles is a comedy

163
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,880
Speaker 3: genius and where else can she just beat herself? And

164
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,880
Speaker 3: just by watching you can see how she lays things out,

165
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,960
Speaker 3: how she's able to balance interviews in the room, how

166
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,599
Speaker 3: she's able to move back and forth between us, the chemistry.

167
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,880
Speaker 3: That's something that young people need to see. But also

168
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:17,520
Speaker 3: we can explain things we've had forty years, how many years?

169
00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:18,600
Speaker 2: And this morty years?

170
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,840
Speaker 3: Forty years, that's eighty years of experience. Eighty years of experience.

171
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,360
Speaker 3: And how many times do we get to see people

172
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,640
Speaker 3: actually leave a blueprint or a template for other people.

173
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,199
Speaker 3: Usually people pass away, they die, to be clear, they

174
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,840
Speaker 3: don't get a chance to tell their story and have

175
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,920
Speaker 3: that conversation. And I think it's a wonderful thing to do,

176
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,520
Speaker 3: but it's also brave because we're having fun, but we're

177
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,680
Speaker 3: also often talking about things that are very difficult to

178
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,880
Speaker 3: talk about, but in a safe space. And when I

179
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,040
Speaker 3: say safe, because we know that we can talk afterwards

180
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,400
Speaker 3: when we disagree. We also know we're in growth. We've

181
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,559
Speaker 3: been in growth for a long time and in conversation

182
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,200
Speaker 3: for a long time and will continue to be So

183
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,960
Speaker 3: I'm many excited about that part of it.

184
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,120
Speaker 1: Can you share maybe what's been the most difficult thing

185
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,640
Speaker 1: to talk about on the show?

186
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,320
Speaker 4: No, but.

187
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:10,720
Speaker 2: You go for Aserica.

188
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,400
Speaker 3: It's difficult to talk about things that we had very

189
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,800
Speaker 3: little control over and we're still trying to process and

190
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:22,439
Speaker 3: manage and are frustrated with. So I'll just speak about myself.

191
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,880
Speaker 3: You can go through and have a career and be

192
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,200
Speaker 3: very blessed than highly favored, as people say, but still

193
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:32,120
Speaker 3: have your own disappointments and they can be connected to

194
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,240
Speaker 3: any show. But inside of this, we did five years.

195
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,480
Speaker 3: It's a long time to be in a place where

196
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,880
Speaker 3: you can have a connection with people for good, bad

197
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,800
Speaker 3: or ugly that you may not have been able to

198
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,480
Speaker 3: speak about while the show was happening, may not have

199
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,240
Speaker 3: the maturity the time and may not have made the

200
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,040
Speaker 3: effort because you didn't know how that's not resolved just

201
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 3: because we show up. So I think that personal things

202
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,000
Speaker 3: are hard, but also the things that the studio and

203
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,160
Speaker 3: or the network, any of those things that we didn't

204
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,400
Speaker 3: understand we are working around as the apparatus. That's hard

205
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,840
Speaker 3: to talk about because it affected people's lives. So I'd

206
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,480
Speaker 3: like to say that if we knew better, it didn't

207
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,920
Speaker 3: mean that we could do more. But now that we know,

208
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,960
Speaker 3: we are able to sort of understand why it's still

209
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,840
Speaker 3: so painful and frustrating.

210
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:25,439
Speaker 2: Did know? I would say learning that I think, well,

211
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,200
Speaker 2: Eric and I talked a lot back then. We haven't

212
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,240
Speaker 2: talked as much in the past few years as we

213
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,640
Speaker 2: did at that time. And to know that she was

214
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,800
Speaker 2: going through difficulties that I was like, why didn't you

215
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,200
Speaker 2: tell me? I didn't know that her father had just

216
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:44,000
Speaker 2: passed away. She kept that away And so it's been

217
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:49,720
Speaker 2: difficult but very revealing about her work, ethic, her integrity,

218
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,240
Speaker 2: her character, and it would have been nothing wrong with

219
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,000
Speaker 2: her actually explaining this is what I'm going through. These

220
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,280
Speaker 2: are the difficulties I'm going through Behind the scenes. It

221
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,600
Speaker 2: would have been fine, as she would have been held.

222
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,000
Speaker 3: By all of us.

223
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,880
Speaker 2: So to learn that it feels challenging because I would

224
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,240
Speaker 2: have loved to have been able to be there for

225
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:11,680
Speaker 2: her and she didn't allow me to be. So anything

226
00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,840
Speaker 2: that gets revealed on our podcast that has to do

227
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,800
Speaker 2: with something we didn't know, or something that we couldn't

228
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,920
Speaker 2: have changed, or something we didn't know how to change

229
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,959
Speaker 2: is challenging because in this you know, this agent stage,

230
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,040
Speaker 2: I'm older than Erra, compan in this age and stage,

231
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,520
Speaker 2: i'mn't have known what to say and what to do,

232
00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,640
Speaker 2: I think, and to know that the growth was available

233
00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:32,280
Speaker 2: and I wish I had done it then.

234
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, And we are struggles now, like we're always sort

235
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,920
Speaker 3: of finding where the balance is between who we are now.

236
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:44,959
Speaker 3: And I'm glad to say that that right there is

237
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,840
Speaker 3: an ongoing process that you can only do with a

238
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,840
Speaker 3: friend and only do with a sister. And we have

239
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,800
Speaker 3: more time on the books than most, So it's an

240
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,600
Speaker 3: investment to make that investment and know that it's important

241
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,520
Speaker 3: to be a healthy human for you to come together

242
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 3: so you can be tested by pressure but also polished

243
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,720
Speaker 3: like a diamond because of it.

244
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,360
Speaker 1: I would imagine that that has felt incredibly healing, right, Like,

245
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,360
Speaker 1: it's not often that we get chances to process things

246
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 1: maybe that happened in the past, and I would imagine

247
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,880
Speaker 1: you didn't necessarily know that this podcast would bring some

248
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,160
Speaker 1: of those things out. I'm guessing you're kind of doing

249
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,480
Speaker 1: this in real time, figuring like, Oh, I didn't even

250
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,600
Speaker 1: know that this was a thing we needed to talk about.

251
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,800
Speaker 4: I feel that way. Did you know that this was Yeah?

252
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:32,360
Speaker 2: I knew, see this time, she now, I knew. I

253
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,640
Speaker 2: think Erica, you created this specially. This podcast started because

254
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,520
Speaker 2: of a relationship that she had with Kevin's company, being

255
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,960
Speaker 2: a documentarian and being a podcaster and doing this. So

256
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,000
Speaker 2: this is a world that you've already been in and

257
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,640
Speaker 2: when it was asked, would you do a rewatch show,

258
00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,520
Speaker 2: and she'll tell you her journey and are coming to

259
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,959
Speaker 2: that decision. So she was there first. So it's interesting

260
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,240
Speaker 2: living single. I was there first, this is something she

261
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,480
Speaker 2: was there first, so she had a chance to create

262
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,520
Speaker 2: this container. And to be honest, there are times that

263
00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:09,240
Speaker 2: we have clashes, but we made a pant to always

264
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 2: return to love and that's what grounds it for me

265
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 2: no matter what. And so I'll let her tell you

266
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,440
Speaker 2: how she knew that this would be I think there

267
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,240
Speaker 2: were things you needed to say, it needed to have

268
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,760
Speaker 2: come out that I'm absolutely I feel it. I feel

269
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,760
Speaker 2: like you created the container so that this.

270
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 3: Could That's exactly it. That's exactly it. Because I think

271
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,480
Speaker 3: that you can't satisfy everyone all the time. But after

272
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,800
Speaker 3: why you do have to start having some goals set

273
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:39,280
Speaker 3: for yourself. Our parents are educators. My mom was right here,

274
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,120
Speaker 3: she is right there, and your mother is an education.

275
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,920
Speaker 2: Ninety five years old and taught for one thousand bernies.

276
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,320
Speaker 3: And my mom was saying power to her and both

277
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:54,400
Speaker 3: you know our parents. Education is important. And I kept

278
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 3: thinking that. Everyone kept asking me as I went through life,

279
00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,120
Speaker 3: even when I was a very young actress, and I

280
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,280
Speaker 3: started when I was fourteen, back in the day, you

281
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,320
Speaker 3: really did need your picture and resume, you need this

282
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 3: that I would say it a thousand times. I said,

283
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,240
Speaker 3: I got to do this in one space so I

284
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,440
Speaker 3: can say go look at this tape. No, I'll do it.

285
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 3: So for a long time I've been wanting to put

286
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,480
Speaker 3: in a space and how to guide of how to

287
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,080
Speaker 3: be in this business. But from my point of view,

288
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,440
Speaker 3: which is different from say one of those books you

289
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,880
Speaker 3: might find in Barnes and Noble from a person that

290
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,240
Speaker 3: may not even have your burdens or understand how you're

291
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,960
Speaker 3: you might be affected by social and racial and systemic

292
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,440
Speaker 3: injustice and inequities. We are now living in the world

293
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,160
Speaker 3: where you have internet, you have everybody having a say.

294
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,600
Speaker 3: Everybody thinks it's their oprah, whether they are or not.

295
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:40,720
Speaker 3: They can be like Andy Warhol kind of says famous

296
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 3: for fifteen minutes.

297
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 2: Everybody's going to get fifteen minutes right exactly on their

298
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:45,600
Speaker 2: sixteenth minute.

299
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,880
Speaker 3: But that's number. But we've had more than our fifteen minutes.

300
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,960
Speaker 3: So what do you do with that? You start to

301
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,480
Speaker 3: think about, I need to say something in life because

302
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,000
Speaker 3: this can't just sit here. And so when I think

303
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,920
Speaker 3: about what I learned in doing other podcasts that had

304
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,200
Speaker 3: different goals, that you can go long and deep in

305
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:09,280
Speaker 3: a long conversation. So we've got, just like you, doctor Joy,

306
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:14,080
Speaker 3: an opportunity to go into nuance, but also for people

307
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,440
Speaker 3: who are watching for them to see us go up

308
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 3: and down and find our way and then come back

309
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 3: to things, come back around, give more context, or you know,

310
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,920
Speaker 3: just lay that there and then it comes back. I'm sorry,

311
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,120
Speaker 3: there's no place else you can do this for this

312
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,360
Speaker 3: amount of money, you know, and when I mean it's

313
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,280
Speaker 3: like a dey thing, do it yourself. And yet in

314
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 3: partnership with someone like Kevin Hard who has the expands

315
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,920
Speaker 3: and the resources, we can do it. And that's what

316
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 3: people are saying. They like, they say, we feel like

317
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,880
Speaker 3: y'all are trying to really make say that your time

318
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 3: is valuable. We don't want to waste it and we don't.

319
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 3: But finding that balance it's tough because we also have

320
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,680
Speaker 3: to be free to create in the moment.

321
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 4: So there you go, and we get to be ourselves.

322
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 2: And I'm grateful for that because so many people who

323
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 2: want to reboot, they.

324
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,400
Speaker 4: Want to beat reboot, Please do a reboot.

325
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 2: And for years and years and years, I was like,

326
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,920
Speaker 2: let's do a reboot, and this is better than a reboot.

327
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 2: I am certain of it because we get to be

328
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 2: ourselves and talk about the thing that you love, and

329
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 2: I think it's better than the reboot. That's what I'm calling.

330
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 3: We are not our characters, and most people don't get

331
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,919
Speaker 3: to meet us. And even in this we are a

332
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,720
Speaker 3: version of ourselves, you know, we are curated but also

333
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,600
Speaker 3: polished version of ourselves because we are in entertainment and

334
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 3: you're polished by You know your job, you know how

335
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,960
Speaker 3: to do it. But most people are meeting something that

336
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,200
Speaker 3: they have no control over because they are a tool

337
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 3: in someone else's toolbox. You're playing your character, those are

338
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 3: not your words, and people start saying are using Claire

339
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,400
Speaker 3: or is Kim Sinclair? And I say, well, they're both,

340
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 3: But I can assure you that Kim is Kim, and

341
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 3: Sinclair would be a totally different person if you just

342
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 3: in your mind cast someone else. You can see how

343
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 3: different people need to see that they're real human beings

344
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,160
Speaker 3: behind this, But they also need to see that black

345
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,760
Speaker 3: women do have agency and that we can speak for

346
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 3: ourselves and we are a very complex center of what

347
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:14,119
Speaker 3: culture is. But also that we deserve the dignity of

348
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 3: making our mistakes out loud, but also showing you just

349
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 3: how good we are and owning that because we are

350
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,880
Speaker 3: good at our jobs and you need to know how

351
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 3: we got here.

352
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I appreciate you saying that, Erica, and I would

353
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:32,639
Speaker 1: love to hear about any mental health impact our challenges.

354
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 1: You've had to like your personal identity after playing such

355
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,639
Speaker 1: an kind of character, can you talk about any of that.

356
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 3: A lot of what I think is just in my

357
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,200
Speaker 3: head because I've had to live in an isolated space

358
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 3: in my head for a long time. It's not necessarily healthy.

359
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 3: So I'm actually trying to say more of what I

360
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:54,959
Speaker 3: mean and what I want and taking the chance that

361
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: you could lose people. But the people who stay and

362
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,680
Speaker 3: understand you, who know who you really are, those are

363
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 3: your tribe. That's the people that just because you need

364
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 3: to have that kind of outlet, won't abandon you. And

365
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 3: so maybe abandonment is an issue for me, and it

366
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:15,119
Speaker 3: made me be very self sufficient. It made me also

367
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,399
Speaker 3: have to be very pragmatic. I don't necessarily have reps

368
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,919
Speaker 3: who are coming to my aid, and I don't really

369
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,440
Speaker 3: like to tell people what I'm going through. That comes

370
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 3: from having a mother and a father who were both orphans,

371
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 3: and we were alone on that mountain in Arizona and

372
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 3: in New Mexico, and so everything just got folded into

373
00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 3: what could be done today. You know, let's get over

374
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,679
Speaker 3: this hump. And so after a while you live your

375
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 3: life that way, but you do have a right to

376
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,240
Speaker 3: start to work these things out. And as you say,

377
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 3: people say, oh, let's unpack that. I used to hate

378
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 3: that phrase. I was like, that's so stupid, and I said,

379
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 3: you know, you have a lot to unpack. So I

380
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 3: think that's tough and I try not to go too

381
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 3: much into it because I always cry. But the truth

382
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 3: is I also know that my tears are just as important,

383
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,679
Speaker 3: if not more important, than my laughter. And that's the

384
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,919
Speaker 3: other thing. We suppress our tears but not our laughter.

385
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 3: That is wrong. Every time you feel the urge to cry,

386
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,880
Speaker 3: you should cry. Because I'm teaching myself as an actress

387
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 3: how to stop myself from emoting in front of people,

388
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,480
Speaker 3: and I can't because when I leave that skill set

389
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 3: and they say action and I hit the mark, I

390
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 3: might have to have a very fluid conversation with my

391
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 3: emotions and so I don't do that. I could say, oh,

392
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,959
Speaker 3: I don't want to cry my makeup. The truth is

393
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 3: I do cry. I do show people I heard, I

394
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 3: do talk about things, and I may get it wrong,

395
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 3: but you're going to see it wrong, and I think

396
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 3: it's important. But it's also you're seeing me manage being

397
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 3: an actor who must engage with my facilities, and I

398
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 3: can't play games with it just because I think other

399
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 3: people will be uncomfortable.

400
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm perfectly saying all as well, but it does

401
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 2: nothing wrong.

402
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 4: Why would they just be wrong?

403
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 2: I heard mental health, it's you God, I am and

404
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 2: will always be a little bit cooking cocoa puffs, and

405
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 2: that's okay too, I would say.

406
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 3: So.

407
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,360
Speaker 2: The mental health journey for me is after living single ended,

408
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 2: I went into depression. And that's something that we're all discovering.

409
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 2: As we talked to our cast wets, we all had

410
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 2: our moment of separation because the show ended so quickly

411
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 2: and so abruptly. For me, I went through a very

412
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 2: intense time of overshopping. That was my vice of choice,

413
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: and I realized through therapy that it was that I

414
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 2: didn't feel worthy to have money and success, particularly because

415
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,400
Speaker 2: I'm the first generation that didn't finish college. My grandmother

416
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 2: went back to college in the fifties, in her fifties

417
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 2: when black woman only got to do that. And understood

418
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: that my father has this doctorate in education. I felt

419
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 2: guilty that I was making this money and had dropped

420
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 2: out of college one hundred times. And so then I

421
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 2: shopped in my money and then I got help. I got,

422
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 2: you know, grateful for what I had and you know

423
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 2: there's a and behind that. I am now fierce advocate

424
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:07,639
Speaker 2: for really unpacking all the things. And it's ugly and

425
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:12,640
Speaker 2: it's awful, but on the other side is truth and

426
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 2: understanding and grace, Oh my goodness, grace and compassion and

427
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 2: discovering that has opened up so much for me, so

428
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 2: that now I actually have been able to delve into

429
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 2: this spiritual quest. You know, I study all different kinds

430
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 2: of religions and quests and to find that they were

431
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: all more alike than we're different, and sort of the

432
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 2: meaning behind a lot of all that. And I love

433
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,199
Speaker 2: exploring and unpacking, even if it's ugly. What's on the

434
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 2: other side is so much more beautiful and more understanding

435
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,719
Speaker 2: of myself and more understanding of my fellow travelers. Like

436
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 2: it gives me the perspective of more compassion. You never

437
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,160
Speaker 2: know what somebody is dealing with, and that feels healthy

438
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 2: and wonderful. And I'm also you know, you talk about

439
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 2: mentality creating such iconic characters. It can be problematic because

440
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 2: you're so identified as that character, but I come to

441
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 2: embrace it and love it and go, hey, Sinclair, yes

442
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 2: I am clear, but my name is really Kim Kles,

443
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 2: I'm know your real name, but you say clear to me,

444
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,640
Speaker 2: and I go, okay, that's all right too. That something

445
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 2: lives for this person in that space where they resonated

446
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,199
Speaker 2: and they felt that this girl was relatable, and I

447
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 2: can only embrace that as I go explore so much more.

448
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 2: We both have done a good job of exploring other

449
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 2: gifts and talents and allowing ourselves to I don't know.

450
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 4: It's actually a requirement to keep growing. Got to you

451
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 4: got to And I think that's why.

452
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 2: This masterclass is so important, because there are plenty of

453
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 2: folks that would be happy to rest in their laurels

454
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 2: of the Great Maxine shaw a tournament law or we're

455
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 2: happy like I did that. It was great.

456
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 3: It's like there's talk about it that much. You too,

457
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 3: I mean when you outside it, I don't even talk

458
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 3: about the things I do because to me, once they're done,

459
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 3: I'm not saying I don't it does. It hasn't affected me,

460
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 3: but I'm already beyond it once I'm even in it.

461
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 3: Like them you saw me do that? Yeah?

462
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 5: You who?

463
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,199
Speaker 2: She used to say, I'm going to I'm going to

464
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 2: my trailer to create my comeback piece. She's gonna need

465
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: to come back where you're going. No, I in common

466
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 2: that you both have all these gifts and towers and

467
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 2: we're unlocking all of them. I have everything in a big,

468
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 2: giant soup and a big particle. This gift will be

469
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 2: useful here. I take my comedy and I infuse that

470
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 2: in my speaking, and you know, it's a great, big suit.

471
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 3: I wonder doctor joy might see that as me also

472
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 3: not allowing myself to be worthy and in mask and yes,

473
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 3: some of the accomplishments, Yeah, my mom messed me up there,

474
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 3: humble mund, But.

475
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean to know I'm humble. If you don't

476
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,919
Speaker 2: bring listen, everything you do, you bring it with you.

477
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 2: I think it's all a beautiful stew or suit. To

478
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,479
Speaker 2: use your words of who you are. It doesn't mean

479
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 2: I think you're very humble. Or if the Jamaicans say very.

480
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 3: Eric, if you take out the h you know that's

481
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 3: the black woman you're.

482
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 2: So what what would doctor Joyce saying, no, I'm not

483
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 2: going to diagnose you diagnosis.

484
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,439
Speaker 1: No, I would have to take a longer time to

485
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 1: work with you to be able to.

486
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 2: Okay, you don't want there's a whole lot of folks

487
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 2: that will peg you, like, let me tell you about you.

488
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, if you watch our characters for a long time,

489
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 3: have you diagnosed them? Oh?

490
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: I would have to do a rewatch to do more

491
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: in depth. Differently, that's how we get a second episode

492
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: with exact. I would love to delve, especially more into

493
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: the commitment issues that Max's character had.

494
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 4: For sure, Boom interesting exactly exactly.

495
00:25:51,040 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break, So, can you

496
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: talk about your career trajectory following Living Single? Maybe specifically

497
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: for you, Erica, because you didn't necessarily know it. Sounds

498
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: like Kim knew it was going to be a success,

499
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: but you didn't necessarily go into it thinking it would

500
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: be what it was. So what was it like to

501
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: kind of continue your career after such a generational show.

502
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was rough to continue my career after that.

503
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 3: It was rough for everyone. So we're going into a

504
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,439
Speaker 3: period where we had TV shows with black casts on

505
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 3: it all over the place, from NBCDABC on NM Fox

506
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 3: built its entire network with black talent, and then suddenly

507
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 3: everything changed almost overnight. That affected everybody, not just me.

508
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 3: If you go in and people are saying, oh, you're great,

509
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 3: at this, we love you, and then nothing happens, no offers,

510
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 3: no nothing, And you go to auditions and suddenly you're

511
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 3: sitting with people who are coming from college and they're going,

512
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 3: what are you doing here? I'm like, I guess I'm

513
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 3: auditioning with you for the same thing would see weird

514
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 3: And you have a step off the lip and you

515
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 3: do it, but you also start to wear on you

516
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: because you go, wait a minute, I know, I just

517
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 3: climbed a mountain and I got to Everest. Why am

518
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 3: I climbing the same mountain? So Taraji talks about it. Certainly,

519
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 3: Monique has talked about it. It has to do with

520
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 3: the inequities that are inherent in this business, have to

521
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,679
Speaker 3: do with not only the disparity of roles, but for

522
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 3: the fact that they actually segregated television after our shows

523
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 3: and even ended many of our shows on the premise

524
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 3: that it was time just sort of switch and do

525
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: more mainstream shows. They'd say that and then put us

526
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 3: to networks that were building themselves on cable, and that's

527
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 3: a CW and WB and all those other things. You

528
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 3: don't want to be in that position and thinking that

529
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 3: you're starting from the beginning but you always seem to

530
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 3: be doing that. That's frustrating. You think I'm in my

531
00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 3: prime on twenty eight, let's go, and they're like when

532
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: I was on The Cosby Show, I immediately saw that

533
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 3: there were writers who were black. But also I knew

534
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 3: that I didn't have power. I never am a person

535
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 3: who doesn't want to power. I've gone through life in

536
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 3: unpowerful positions and it's not good. So you want to

537
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 3: have more collaboration and more say so. I thought I

538
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 3: teach myself writing, but I didn't have the discipline and

539
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 3: I didn't have the skill set the craft. I had

540
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 3: the ideas. You have to sit in a chair and

541
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 3: they come back and rewrite and put something down in paper.

542
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 3: It's a very brave thing to do, and you do

543
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 3: it over a long long time. I ended up marrying

544
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 3: a writer, and he was the one who really locked

545
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 3: it in and said, Eric, you're never going to be

546
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 3: good at that unless you do it. And then I

547
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 3: started to do it and my life started to change.

548
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 3: Got more opportunities as a comic book writer, as a

549
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 3: screenplay writer, as more texts pros. Then I became a

550
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 3: surrogate inside the political sphere, where you're always writing, but

551
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 3: through a different pov. I'm a surrogate for Hillary, I'm

552
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 3: for Kamala, I'm a surroga for the Senator. I'm a

553
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 3: surrogate for Stacy Abrams, all these people. How do I

554
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 3: speak about myself? But through the policy and lens of

555
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 3: legislation and legislators, that's also making you have to refine

556
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 3: your thoughts and so years and years of that, and

557
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 3: then also just doing the damn thing created opportunities, and

558
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 3: then people started coming to me. Josh Whedon said, hey,

559
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 3: we spend that off for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and

560
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 3: you'll give me a group of here's what I need

561
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 3: from moreh and then goes away. John Lewis's office say hey,

562
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 3: here you have a production company. It started with Ben Arnon,

563
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 3: who's my partner. Hey are you interested in the documentary

564
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 3: about the Congressman? Sure? And something you're doing John Lewis,

565
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 3: good trouble because someone's giving you a shot, and that

566
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,959
Speaker 3: leads to a reparations documentary. Now you're directing, and you're

567
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 3: in the DGA and you're learning things. So all these

568
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 3: things that you think don't matter, it adds up to

569
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 3: a life and a career that you can be proud of,

570
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 3: but you must do the foundational work. And the foundation

571
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 3: of work I needed was to know that one monkey,

572
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 3: don't stop, no show actress, but also an intelligent person.

573
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 3: And I knew I couldn't make a living waiting for

574
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 3: the next job. I would have to grow, I would

575
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 3: have to expand more important, that had to be just

576
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 3: as good there, hopefully as I wasn't acting. I do

577
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 3: think that's my core skill set. But now I feel

578
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 3: more confident as a creator and a performer and also

579
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 3: a producer. But it's a hard thing and you do

580
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 3: it every day, and you sometime miss and sometime you hit.

581
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 3: But at least I'm there and a new thing comes

582
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 3: around and you find out that what you didn't know,

583
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 3: then you can apply and next thing you know, bull

584
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 3: you've locked in. I know how to do that. So

585
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 3: I'm grateful, And that's what I think is the next

586
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 3: few decades for me is going to hopefully me doubling

587
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: down on that and expanding and growing and building an empire.

588
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 1: Oh we love it. What about you, Kim? What has

589
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,959
Speaker 1: both living single career pursuits been like for you?

590
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: Building a kimpire? Who calling the same thing. You know.

591
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 2: While Erica said I'm going to my trailer to create

592
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 2: a comeback piece, I was doing my version of that too,

593
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: And so I wrote my first book in my trailer

594
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 2: at living single and that time that I was struggling

595
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 2: with shopping and not working because I wasn't getting the

596
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: auditions either. The same boat. But we didn't talk about

597
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 2: this at the time. I thought that I would go

598
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 2: into the next height and heights and height don't true

599
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 2: love people who say height and not height hype to

600
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: the hype, the venith. None of that was happening, and

601
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 2: so I figured out, just as Erica did, I needed

602
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 2: to hone my gifts and talents in all these other areas.

603
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 2: And so I took my knowledge and mastery whatever mystery

604
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 2: as a stand up comedian and moved it into the

605
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: world of speaking, because I didn't want to go on

606
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 2: the road as a stand up comedian week after week

607
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 2: after week. People don't know that that's the unglamorous. That's

608
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: what most comics do. You go on the road to

609
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 2: make your money. And I knew that would age me

610
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 2: and tire me out. But I could do it as

611
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 2: a speaker. I can go and make one talk and

612
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 2: make as much as I could on six shows on

613
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 2: our weekend in Albuquerque or whatever. So I built out

614
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 2: my speaker business. I started writing more books and writing

615
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 2: more programs. I have an online academy. I started building

616
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 2: that in the realm of speaking and using humor and

617
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 2: heart and infusing that you speaking. Then fell in love

618
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 2: with being an entrepreneur, which I just don't talk about

619
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 2: this much, but we are entrepreneurs for sure. Or I

620
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 2: took whatever I learned and developed this love really of entrepreneurs,

621
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: and now I teach entrepreneurs how to be better speakers,

622
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 2: how to write their books. I have my own publishing

623
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 2: company called Hopped Coals Publishing. I use my knowledge and

624
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 2: my platform to help teach others how to lift and

625
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,239
Speaker 2: have their own empires. And so now what's happened is

626
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: if Hollywood doesn't call, I go like, okay, that's all right,

627
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 2: But to me, I'm gonna be over here doing what

628
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 2: I can do. And this nothing better than taking your

629
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 2: gifts and talents and abilities directly to the people. There's

630
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 2: no guy in a suit in an ivory tower going

631
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 2: she's the one, or she's not the one, or she's

632
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 2: getting too much weight. Or she's to this or not

633
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 2: enough that, like, the people get to decide. And once

634
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 2: I realized that the power was in the people's hands,

635
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 2: and I always felt that as a comedian menace, it's

636
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 2: about the audience. If I can please the audience, if

637
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 2: I can bring them along on our journey, then I

638
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 2: will have decades and decades of work that I got

639
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 2: to generate and I get to be in control of,

640
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 2: and the jobs come. We both have shows that we're

641
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 2: working on. It's like, oh, you want me to become

642
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 2: an e free food, thank you? You want to stand

643
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: front of our camera. The free food is the best

644
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 2: part I had to you know, be able to continue

645
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 2: to contribute it to my sag health. Sure, I'll do that.

646
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: And I get to do this other thing that is

647
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 2: fulfilling and that I get.

648
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 4: To take directly to the people. And that's what we

649
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 4: have in common.

650
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 2: We've done it in different ways, but it's the thing

651
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 2: that we have in common.

652
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:11,479
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break and what would

653
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 1: you say about the lasting impact that living single has

654
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: had in terms of how black women are portrayed in

655
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 1: the media.

656
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,760
Speaker 2: I can't even speak.

657
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 5: To how proud I am of these four women. You know,

658
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 5: we looked different, we had different qualities, and yet we

659
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 5: have this sisterhood that I think resonated with others. Others

660
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 5: saw their aunties, their cousins, their little sister, their big

661
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 5: sister in us, and I loved that we loved each other.

662
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 2: You know, it's a sitcom. Of course, there's jokes. Of course,

663
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: there was always a coming together, both behind the scenes

664
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 2: and on camera. And I'm really proud that we represented

665
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 2: the antithesis of what they say about black women. We

666
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: were professional and funny and vulnerable and kind and sometimes

667
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: angry and sometimes all the things. We were, all the

668
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 2: things done in a very classy, fun, experiential way. And

669
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 2: I love that people love that about us. I love

670
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 2: that they resonate with us. Did I answer the question, Yeah,

671
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 2: absolutely you did.

672
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 1: Was there anything you would add?

673
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 2: I'm proud of that.

674
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 3: This is our negative race, this is what we were

675
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 3: born for. We were made for this mission. And as

676
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 3: black women. If you see the people who've come before us,

677
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:38,800
Speaker 3: from Shirley Chisholm to id B. Wells to Great Harriet Tubman,

678
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 3: they talk about what they did so we could be

679
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 3: here and have this privilege of telling our stories. It's huge,

680
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 3: but it's what's suspected of us, and I think that

681
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 3: I want to just always remember that they had it

682
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 3: harder than we did. Certainly had a McDaniel and Butterfly

683
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:03,280
Speaker 3: McQueen did and Ceesey Tie and you know, Regina Taylor, Diner, Carol.

684
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 3: These amazing things you know that they've done. They never

685
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 3: got a chance to talk about, but we are talking

686
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 3: about it. So I'm grateful for this. But I also

687
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 3: remember that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, and

688
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 3: that's a gift because there's so many people out here

689
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 3: that don't. I was with Kyle Bowser, who's head of

690
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 3: the NAACP Hollywood chapter. He's the husband of Yvette Lee Bowser.

691
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 3: By the way, props to her for creating the Road

692
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 3: and doing so much of that her whole life. But

693
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 3: he said that if there's maybe a million creators of color,

694
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 3: when there's forty three million black people, we are the

695
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 3: vessel that is used to tell their stories. So we

696
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 3: need to remember it's something that we need to be

697
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 3: mindful of and how we move the world, and not

698
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 3: to make it any more precious than it needs to be,

699
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 3: that we are culture makers of extraordinary gifts, the biggest

700
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,959
Speaker 3: culture makers in world history, there's no doubt. But we

701
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 3: were chosen of a small set to do it, and

702
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,400
Speaker 3: so we should remember that. And so thanks to Kyle

703
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 3: for minding everyone should know out there, if you choose

704
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 3: to do this now, everybody will be able to make it.

705
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 3: Ain't pacify child. My goodness and the mental toughness you

706
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 3: have to have, and you have to work when no

707
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 3: one's looking. If you can work when no one's looking

708
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 3: at do the work will be rewarded once the light shines,

709
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 3: and it will come. But we need to see all

710
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,240
Speaker 3: that work once it shines again, and then it comes faster,

711
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,240
Speaker 3: because then people see what you're about and the lean moments,

712
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 3: that's where you're supposed to grow and live life, and

713
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 3: you're supposed to bring that to bear for your people,

714
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 3: for the culture, but also for the world. If we

715
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,919
Speaker 3: do that, then nothing can destroy us. And I'm saying

716
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 3: as human beings. But if we stop doing that, if

717
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,919
Speaker 3: we continue to regurgitate other people's ideas and not take

718
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 3: chances and not make mistakes and not live out loud,

719
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 3: then we are being just a piece of ourselves and

720
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 3: asking for permission to be here, but we've earned it there.

721
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 3: They made sure that they sacrifice so much so we

722
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 3: knew that we earn it, and we know that we

723
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 3: earn it every day by showing up and doing our best.

724
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 1: I feel like we've already gotten a masterclass. But as

725
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: we close up, is there any additional advice that you

726
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: might give to a young black woman in the entertainment

727
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 1: industry or making her way in entertainment about how to

728
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,280
Speaker 1: create work that is both authentic and healing.

729
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 3: Well, you already are authentic. You have to own it

730
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 3: own yourself. But just because it's there doesn't mean that

731
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 3: you don't have to nurture it and do the work.

732
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 3: You have to go outside of your borders. You can't

733
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 3: just continue to do the same thing. You must go

734
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 3: and sit in different churches, sit in different corridors, ask

735
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 3: people different questions, but mostly listen. And he listened to

736
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 3: an off the noise, turn off the TV, the games,

737
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 3: all of that. You know what you think until you

738
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 3: allow your brain to even process what it's seemed. And

739
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,800
Speaker 3: so I think we don't often give ourselves a chance

740
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 3: to sit there and just let the breeze go by

741
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 3: while are we download so we can have our own ideas,

742
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 3: So you are authentic. You do have your own ideas.

743
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 3: You should matriculate and make sure that you do the work.

744
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 3: But you shay hall ass, everything takes much more time

745
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 3: than you think everything, and so don't get caught up

746
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 3: in the little minutia. You've got other things to do,

747
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 3: and your biggest thing hasn't appeared yet, and you'll probably

748
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,439
Speaker 3: be saying that to the day you die. So I'm

749
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 3: just going to give you love and make sure that

750
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 3: you know that, even though you think you aren't seeing,

751
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 3: we're doing our best to project a version of ourselves

752
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 3: that includes you. But that doesn't dismiss that your work

753
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 3: here isn't important. You must come and do the work.

754
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 3: That's your job.

755
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 4: I always find myself going, how do I follow that?

756
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:46,919
Speaker 3: No?

757
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 2: See, just so I'll follow that by saying giving a

758
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 2: gift that was given to me, and I wish I

759
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 2: could remember who it was. It was a female actress

760
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 2: who was older, and it was early in my career,

761
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,879
Speaker 2: and she said, this is how your career is going

762
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 2: to to go, and it helped me so much. I'm

763
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 2: gonna use my own name, but insert your name and

764
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 2: whether it's show VI says or anything you choose to do.

765
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 2: This is how your life is gonna go. Who is

766
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 2: Kim Coles? Introducing Kim Coles? Get me Kim Coles? Get

767
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 2: me a Kim Coles type? Can you get me a

768
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 2: cheaper Kim Coles? Can you get me a younger Kim Coles?

769
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 2: Who is Kim Coles? And she gave me I wish

770
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 2: I couldn't it isn't that good? She said, You're gonna

771
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 2: have pages and stages and they may come and they

772
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: may repeat again and they I remember the day I

773
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 2: auditioned for something against the younger version of me. I

774
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 2: was like, I've reached that stage, but I was prepared

775
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 2: for it. I was ready for it. And so for

776
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 2: you to know that there will be ups and downs.

777
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 2: There will be stage looking moments that you feel that

778
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 2: you've arrived in, moments that go, no, it's not your

779
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 2: term this time, and so prepare for all that. Do

780
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,839
Speaker 2: what Erica just said, study, learn, go places you've never

781
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 2: been before, explore, challenge yourself so you get to decide

782
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 2: what your yeses and nos are. Be very clear what

783
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 2: your yeses and no's are being guided by that, be

784
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 2: guide it by your instinct. Have a spiritual life. Whoever

785
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 2: the god of your understanding is, go on and get that,

786
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 2: so that you have an understanding and unknowing when you

787
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 2: walk into a room, whether or not you're really meant

788
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 2: to be there. You're meant to be in every room.

789
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 2: I don't mean in that way, but I mean and

790
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 2: you're meant to say yes and notice things. Saying no

791
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 2: can actually be one of.

792
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 3: The most moral foundations, moral integritous integrity. Yes.

793
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 2: And so I was given that gift to be prepared

794
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 2: for all the ages of stages, so I don't get

795
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 2: scared at any of it anymore. I go, Oh, that's

796
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 2: what that is? What does that mean? Maybe I need

797
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,840
Speaker 2: to retreat and take this time off to be quiet

798
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 2: and learn, or to be quiet and do nothing and

799
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 2: wait for divine you know, interaction, and that all of

800
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 2: the journey is beautiful, even when it's ugly, and to

801
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 2: accept all of it is part of your growth and

802
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 2: what you're meant to leave for the next generation. You're

803
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,879
Speaker 2: gonna sit and do an interview just like this one day,

804
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,760
Speaker 2: and you're gonna marvel all right, your comings and goings

805
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 2: and the ups and downs of all of it, and

806
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 2: to really be grateful for every single piece of it

807
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 2: will help ground it for you.

808
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 4: So that's what I would say.

809
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it. You know it's funny.

810
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 3: I just want to say one thing about being well

811
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,879
Speaker 3: at say. I was going to say that people think

812
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 3: that being in comedy or having comedy means it's you

813
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 3: know that you're not serious. But I find the comedians

814
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 3: and people are funny. That are most people with more

815
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 3: serious as a heart attack, ye go to be.

816
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 2: We were talking about this the other day that there's

817
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 2: a you know, there's a comedy mask, but there's also

818
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:52,720
Speaker 2: the tragedy mask, and they they live, they live together,

819
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 2: and they live in the same space. Welcome, well, the

820
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 2: comedy and the tragedy mask.

821
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:02,439
Speaker 3: There's a little well, one more, one more.

822
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 4: I was like warmth, there was it.

823
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 2: The coveredy and tragedy masks live fur. You know, those

824
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 2: are the symbols in the ying and the yang. It's

825
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 2: it's all divine.

826
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 3: So if you want to be funny, but get serious.

827
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 2: We love it. The joy, the joy right back, the joy.

828
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: I love it absolutely, absolutely well. This has been so

829
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 1: wonderful to chat with you. Please let us know where

830
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 1: can we stay connected with your work? Where can we

831
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 1: check out the podcast.

832
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:37,320
Speaker 2: We can go to at Reliving Single podcast.

833
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 4: On all the Spotify.

834
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,479
Speaker 2: I highly recommend you too because we look so good

835
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 2: my Spotify in all places and you can follow Eric

836
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 2: Alexander the Great and I am Kim Coles at.

837
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 4: Kim Coles not Kim Coles and we're out there.

838
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 2: Doing a thing.

839
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 3: Yes, and thank you by the way for the support

840
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 3: over the years. It's been phenomenal. We were just hanging

841
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 3: out and an event, a big event and it was

842
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 3: no It was the standing room only and filled the

843
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 3: place and was one of the biggest events. So we

844
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 3: really feel the love after all these years. We would

845
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 3: not be here without you. You're creating this. The success

846
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 3: of the show is only because our fans will demand it.

847
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 3: It's not because we earned it or deserve it. That's

848
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 3: not how this works. It's because we demanded. Those numbers matter.

849
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,800
Speaker 3: So anybody that's already liked, followed and watched the whole

850
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 3: episodes through. You're creating the space. But you're also it's

851
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 3: a long marathon and not just us, other people are

852
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 3: coming to do it, and so we need to set

853
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 3: the stage for how we need to not only be

854
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 3: taken seriously but also how we're promoted and marketed and

855
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,800
Speaker 3: that builds the case. So thank you so much for

856
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 3: our friends. We saw our friends.

857
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 2: Created as one part fan, one part friends, and thank

858
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,439
Speaker 2: you doctor Joy for creating a platform to have deep,

859
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:58,320
Speaker 2: rich conversations about mental wellness and mental health. The buzzy

860
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 2: thing is self care Saturday. The it's mental wellness every

861
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 2: day having that perspective, and we're inviting ourselves to come

862
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: back on our show after you've analyzed us.

863
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: Yes, anytime you have an open invitation. Therapy won't don't

864
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: hurt anybody, right.

865
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 3: Thank you.

866
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 2: Thanks to analyze me as a free d see. Thank you.

867
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:33,720
Speaker 1: A huge thank you to Erica Alexander and Kim Coles

868
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: for joining you for this conversation. Don't forget to check

869
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 1: out the Reliving Single podcast, and don't forget to take

870
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 1: this episode or two of your girls right now and

871
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 1: tell them to check it out. Did you know that

872
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: you could leave us a voicemail with your questions for

873
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 1: the podcast. If you have books and movies you'd like

874
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 1: us to review, or have thoughts about topics you'd like

875
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 1: to hear us discuss. Drop us a message at Memo

876
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: dot fm, slash Therapy for Black Girls and let us

877
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 1: know what's on your mind. We just might feature it

878
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 1: on the podcast. If you're looking for a therapist in

879
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 1: your area, visit our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls

880
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: dot com slash directory, and don't forget to follow us

881
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 1: over on Instagram at Therapy for Black Girls or join

882
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: us over in our Patreon channel to talk more about

883
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 1: the episodes and get more behind the scenes content. You

884
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,839
Speaker 1: can join us at community dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com.

885
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Elise Ellis, Indechubu and Tyree Rush.

886
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much

887
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 1: for joining me again this week. I look forward to

888
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:34,879
Speaker 1: continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care.