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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Buggle up, hold on tight.

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Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Nephew's subject. I don't have a good feeling

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Speaker 1: about this, Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm ready to call off

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Speaker 1: my engagement, but I need your advice first. My fiance

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Speaker 1: and I are both divorced, and our first marriages were terrible.

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Speaker 1: I've been working on my issue so I can be

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Speaker 1: a better wife this time. My fiance, on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: does not think he has anything to work on. But

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Speaker 1: he admitted to cheating on his first wife, so he's

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Speaker 1: got some baggage. Now, after five years of being with him,

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Speaker 1: I think he's cheating on me. All of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: his behavior changed. He started coming home from work later

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Speaker 1: than usual with no logical excuse. Then one morning in

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Speaker 1: late March, as he left the house, he said he

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Speaker 1: would be in a mandatory training at work all day

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Speaker 1: and he wouldn't have access to his phone. I figured

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Speaker 1: he was lying, but I don't want to be paranoid

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Speaker 1: and crazy like I was with my ex husband. My

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Speaker 1: fiance came home from his work training an hour late,

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Speaker 1: and my craziness kicked in. He started making small talk

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Speaker 1: about his hectic day and I told him to let

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Speaker 1: me see his phone. He gave me his phone and

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Speaker 1: I checked his text messages and call logs. There was

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Speaker 1: nothing there. He had deleted every last one of his

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Speaker 1: texas and cleared his call log I told him he

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Speaker 1: was looking really guilty of something, and he made up

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Speaker 1: a lie about his calls and texas being deleted when

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Speaker 1: his phone did a software update. He kept on nervously

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Speaker 1: talking and lying about his day, and I called him

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Speaker 1: on the BS. Since that day, I've been sleeping in

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Speaker 1: our guests room. I refuse to enter into another bad marriage,

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Speaker 1: and I told him we need to sell the house

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Speaker 1: and split up. He swears he hasn't cheated, and all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden he's willing to work on some of

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Speaker 1: his flaws. Should I move on and leave, leave this liar,

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Speaker 1: or wait to see if he's willing to change. God,

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Speaker 1: what was that? All right? I mean, this is a crazy,

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Speaker 1: crazy situation here. Um. I think you left out a

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Speaker 1: lot of stuff. But I always say and think that

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Speaker 1: one thing is clear, and that is when a man

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Speaker 1: changes his behavior. You didn't say specifically what he's been doing,

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Speaker 1: but you know, when he changes his behavior, like get

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Speaker 1: new underwear or starts wearing new cologne, things like that,

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Speaker 1: you can thus believe that something is going on and

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Speaker 1: he's done it before. So and you're a woman, so

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Speaker 1: you know you have a feeling about these things. A

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Speaker 1: lot of times if you suspect it, a lot of times,

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Speaker 1: it's happening, all right, especially in this kind of situation.

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Speaker 1: I think the problem is you say you called him

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Speaker 1: on his bs, but nothing really happened. You're just sleeping

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Speaker 1: in the guest room. You're still there. You guys are

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Speaker 1: still together. You're you're asking us for advice. You did

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Speaker 1: tell him to sell the house and that you guys

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Speaker 1: should split up, but still nothing happened. You guys are

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Speaker 1: still there, You're still living in the same house. He

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Speaker 1: wants to work it out. You've been together five years,

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Speaker 1: you know, I mean, he's changed his behavior. You haven't

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Speaker 1: really found any proof, not that you really really need proof,

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Speaker 1: but I mean, he just handed you his phone when

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Speaker 1: you ask for it, So, I mean, guys don't usually

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Speaker 1: do that unless they've done what you say he did,

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Speaker 1: clear everything out. They usually keep that phone pretty close

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Speaker 1: to them on all occasions. Only time they don't is

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Speaker 1: when they're not doing something. So I think, yeah, probably

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Speaker 1: something is going on again. You've known him for five years.

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Speaker 1: If you want to sell the house and split up,

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Speaker 1: then that's what you need to do. But you're still there.

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Speaker 1: I mean, so he's going to think that he can

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Speaker 1: still cheat and stay there. So you need to make

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Speaker 1: up your mind what you want to do. Okay, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Lord Lord Lord, hurt you? Okay, just listening to this?

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Speaker 1: What the hell doing man have to do? Good Lord

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Speaker 1: Lord Lord. Okay, let's just look at this letter briefly

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Speaker 1: from the standpoint of if let's go my fiance, I've

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Speaker 1: been working on some things. We both had divorces first match.

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Speaker 1: I've been working on my issues so I could be

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Speaker 1: a better wife this time. So obviously she did something

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Speaker 1: where she wasn't a good wife. And then she says

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Speaker 1: my fiance on others saying does not think he got

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Speaker 1: anything to work on all right, you know, maybe he

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Speaker 1: but he admitted to cheating on his first wife, so

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Speaker 1: he got some baggage. Okay, what baggage like? Men don't

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Speaker 1: have baggage about that. If we cheated on you, that

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Speaker 1: ain't baggage to us. That's just something that happened. So

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Speaker 1: when we are bringing that with us, that just popped off.

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Speaker 1: I'm just reading the letter as supposed he telling the truth. Now,

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Speaker 1: after five years of being with him, I think he's

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Speaker 1: cheating on me. All of a sudden, his behavior change.

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Speaker 1: He started coming home from work later than usual with

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Speaker 1: no logical excuses. What is a logical excuse because I

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Speaker 1: want to know what that is versus an illogical excuse

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Speaker 1: because I need to know the difference. So he just

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Speaker 1: he what, Well, if he had to work later, I

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Speaker 1: mean surely he would have proof that he was at

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Speaker 1: the office working. What you what kind of proof you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have? I was there? Yeah, I just told y'all

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Speaker 1: was there. He can bring another people to corroborate that,

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Speaker 1: know that, right? Why ain't nobody fit in the brain? Nobody?

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Speaker 1: How best ain't Matt tell her? Wasn't we at work.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a dude. We're not fitting to do that.

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Speaker 1: Then one morning in late Marches, he left for the house.

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Speaker 1: He said he'd be in a mandatory training at work

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Speaker 1: all day and he couldn't have access to his phone.

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Speaker 1: That sounds fair, sounds like a ball faced lie. Gay

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Speaker 1: mandatory training. Ain't gonna have access to your phone all day?

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Speaker 1: Sound like what I figured he was lying. But I

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Speaker 1: ain't want to be padding out crazy like I was

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Speaker 1: with my ex. He came home from work training an

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Speaker 1: hour late, and my craziness kicked in. I'll be right back.

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Speaker 1: So far he ain't done nothing. All right, we'll have

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Speaker 1: part two if Steve's response coming up in twenty three

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter subject I don't

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Speaker 1: have a good feeling about this. We'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening morning show, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject I don't

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Speaker 1: have a good feeling about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They

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Speaker 1: both divorced a fiance. Now she's been working on the

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Speaker 1: issues because so she could be a better wife this time.

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Speaker 1: Obviously she wasn't the first time. Fiance. Don't think he

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Speaker 1: got nothing to work on. He good, but he admitted

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Speaker 1: to cheating on his first wife, so he got some baggage.

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Speaker 1: What baggage? I just want to ask, what is the baggage?

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Speaker 1: Did you just hear her? She just said cheating to her,

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Speaker 1: that's baggage. But see what is the baggage? I'm just

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Speaker 1: as cheater. That's not that. Ain't baggage to a man? Okay,

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Speaker 1: well it is to a woman. She's okay. I'm just

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Speaker 1: telling you. He's got some baggage. He just said. On

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Speaker 1: the other hand, he don't think he got anything to

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Speaker 1: work on. Now, five years of being where I think

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Speaker 1: he's cheating on me, all of a sudden his behavior change,

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Speaker 1: Shirley said, like if he's buying new underwear that ain't

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Speaker 1: in the damn letter being changed. He started coming home

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Speaker 1: from work later than usual with no logical excuse. What

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Speaker 1: is a logical excuse? See, he ain't got a logical excuse.

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Speaker 1: You would have accepted an illogical excuse. Hello, what she's

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Speaker 1: saying that? I'm just asking you, though, he doesn't have

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Speaker 1: any reason for being out late other than he's probably

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Speaker 1: whipped someone else or she suspects him of cheating And

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Speaker 1: what did he say to her? Yeah? What did he

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Speaker 1: say to him? Why did he say that ain't in

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Speaker 1: the letter? Well, I said she left a lot of

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Speaker 1: stuff out, and she did. He was right working now.

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Speaker 1: Then one morning, as he left the house, he said

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Speaker 1: he'd be in a mandatory training at work all day

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Speaker 1: and he wouldn't have access to his phone. Okay, ivinghole

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Speaker 1: chemical plant. We didn't even have sale phones. Yeah back then, Hello,

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Speaker 1: he did? So was I cheating in? No? We don't

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Speaker 1: know that now do we? No? I didn't have had

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Speaker 1: no phone. Hello. I figured he was lying, But I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to be pano and crazy like I was

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Speaker 1: with my ex husband. Okay, so that's her issue, pano

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Speaker 1: and crazy. My fiance came home from work training an

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Speaker 1: hour late, and my craziness kicked in. Yes, that's why

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Speaker 1: she don't need to be married all this day, craziness

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Speaker 1: just kicking in as soon as he do something. He

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Speaker 1: started making small talk about his hectic day. I told him,

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Speaker 1: let me see his phone, he'll go to good part.

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Speaker 1: He gave me his phone. I checked his text messages

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Speaker 1: and call log. That was nothing there but except her

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Speaker 1: paranoia and craziness that had kicked in. That was nothing there.

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Speaker 1: He deleted. He deleted every last one of his text

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Speaker 1: and cleared his call. Long ya, so what we're talking about?

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Speaker 1: On what we're talking about? Whatever? Nothing else? Don't try it,

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Speaker 1: don't try. I told him he was looking really guilty

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Speaker 1: of something. He made up a lie about his calls

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Speaker 1: and texas being deleted when his phone did a software update.

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Speaker 1: Min do that too, soft software update? I don't even.

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Speaker 1: He kept on nervously talking in lying about his date,

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Speaker 1: and I called him on the BS, my paranoian craziness

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Speaker 1: called him on the BS. Since that day, I've been

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Speaker 1: sleeping in our guest room. I refused to enter into

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Speaker 1: another bad marriage, and I told him we need to

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Speaker 1: sell the house and split up. Okay, okay, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: sell the house? Split up? What do nervously talking side

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Speaker 1: like da baby? Don't? Yeah. I was all up in

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Speaker 1: that meeting, that training who I was training, training, training

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Speaker 1: who also tired of training? All day I was asking

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Speaker 1: me them questions. I had to mound something for the training,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I was ready all day. It was mandatory,

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Speaker 1: you know, mandatory training, That's what I did. You know.

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Speaker 1: I was a man. I was in there. Boy, girl,

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Speaker 1: you're a girl. You ain't never been there like mandatory training,

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Speaker 1: training trainers. Man, we had to be up in now, Man,

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Speaker 1: I was a man. What did you oh? Man? Just

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Speaker 1: all types of training stuff like that, you know, how

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Speaker 1: to get trained. You know. Then we was working on

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Speaker 1: the other part of training and you know, learning how

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Speaker 1: to how to how to be trained. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: then I then they had me come up front and

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Speaker 1: then I trained else. Okay, mankind to be pretty good,

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Speaker 1: you know. So they were kind of talking to me

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Speaker 1: about a different position. You know, baby, this could be

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Speaker 1: something for us, you know. Man. So anyway, he swears

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Speaker 1: he hasn't cheated, and all of a sudden he's willing

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Speaker 1: to work on some of his flaws. Should I move

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Speaker 1: on and leave this liar a wait to see if

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Speaker 1: he's willing to change. Well, if you're so sure about it,

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Speaker 1: just leave him, put the house up for sale like

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Speaker 1: you said, and split and then you don't have to

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Speaker 1: worry about it for your liar. How about that? Man?

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Speaker 1: But something is keeping her there right because she's just

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Speaker 1: talking right, because she knows her paranoia and craziness, that

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Speaker 1: paranoia crazy. Something else should see Shirley, you just been crazy.

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Speaker 1: She called herself that he didn't The caller is crazy? Y'all?

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Speaker 1: Are Monica paranoia? Now? If y'all put y'all together, you

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Speaker 1: have this lady in the letter, all right? Comments on

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook,

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Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now

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Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour. Are

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Speaker 1: you itching speaking of crazy? Are you itching to do

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Speaker 1: something crazy? When all this is over, We're going to

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Speaker 1: talk about that right after this. You're listening to the

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Speaker 1: Stave Harvey Morning Show.