1 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: Radio Radio Radio Commies, a myth and Bullshit radio phonic 2 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: novella Local Radio hosted by Malamun. Welcome back to local Radio. 3 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Brown Girl. Our this is and this 4 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: is look at a radio is where we celebrate the legacies, 5 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,600 Speaker 1: geniuses and brilliance of women and fems of color. And 6 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: this is I'm so excited, can't believe it. Yes, I'm 7 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: so excited to be back. Oh my god, and you 8 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: were on a little bit of a hiatus. I was, 9 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: um so, in case you did not notice, um, I 10 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: actually took over a week off because I was really 11 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: ill and it was really scary. We were all all 12 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: the mommies, we were all very concerned for We were like, 13 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: oh my god, what's happening. It was really scary. But 14 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: I think once I was able to or the doctors 15 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: were able to diagnose what was going on with me, 16 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 1: I was able to really get better. So I'm really, 17 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: really really happy to be healthy. And you know, I'm 18 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: grateful for my health. We're happy to have you back. 19 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: Welcome back, Girl's back. I am back and ready to play. 20 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: And we have had some really exciting things happen. Even 21 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: even though you've been sick and the weather. We've still 22 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:31,960 Speaker 1: been slaying and yes, yeah, I don't stop. So we 23 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: just had a special with Sounding Out what came out 24 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: this past week. Yes, and Sounding Out Again is a 25 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: sound Studies blog and they were doing like U, a 26 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: Chicano soundscapes series for Hispanic for Latino Heritage Month, for 27 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:51,919 Speaker 1: Latino Heritage Month, and we submitted a guest, a guest podcast, 28 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: and it's all about women of color, street harassment and 29 00:01:55,560 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: public space right and the sonic soundscape of unwelcome, Yes, 30 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: sonic landscapes of Unwelcome. And we just want to formally 31 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: again you know, thank all of our listeners, all of 32 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: our look amotives who sent in their narratives of street 33 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: harassment and surviving harassment. Yeah, it was wow. There's so 34 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: many emotions to read all of these testimonials and that 35 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: y'all were able to really be vulnerable with us, something 36 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: that we do not take for granted. We're so thankful 37 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: to ali y'all that really made the cap with Sounding 38 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: Out what it is. It was very special, it was 39 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: very impactful. Um And on the on that gapitol talking 40 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: about sonic landscapes Unwelcome, we were talking about how street 41 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: harassment is basically verbal abuse and how constant disposure to that, 42 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: how does it affect women of color? And we interviewed 43 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: um A therapist, Brenda Ingram, and we I sent her 44 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: the finished product right because she helped to contribute her 45 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: knowledge to it, and she she thought that it was 46 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: great and she really liked it. So I'm just so happy. 47 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: We're so happy with the way it came out. I think, Um, 48 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 1: we really produced that capitol, which I think is just 49 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: also like to ourselves. We guys, we did a lot 50 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 1: of work. So tune in, go over to Sounding Out 51 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,519 Speaker 1: Studies blogs so you can listen to them directly. They're 52 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: the actual host of the won't find it on our SoundCloud. 53 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: The exact the website is sound Studies blog dot com. Yes, 54 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,920 Speaker 1: and we'll be up there in all of our glory, 55 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,920 Speaker 1: so check it out. Yes. So what else do we 56 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: have going on? Um? Well, I mean today we have 57 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: an extremely extremely extremely special guest in studio, so excited 58 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: live at Espasie which always shout out a Spasio for 59 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: this is oh and also this used to be UM 60 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: but it's now officially Radio Spasso. We have a logo, 61 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: we have like new equipment, it's really exciting, so shout 62 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: out to Radio Spasio. But we have yes. But before 63 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: we get into anything, today is Adiana's birthday, yess birthday, 64 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 1: and I can't say anything without wishing her a happy birthday, 65 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. And we got to bring this 66 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: mommy curse of getting sick right around a birthday night. 67 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: I was, girl, I was thinking about you the whole time, 68 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: and I was like, this was yes, he got right 69 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 1: before her birthday, even during Yeah, but we need I'm glad, No, 70 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: I'm glad that we get to celebrate you on your birthday. 71 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,839 Speaker 1: So I'm so so excited. I'm really excited the mommy 72 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: collect that we'll be out and about tonight. And I 73 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 1: took almost a week off, so I'm ready to be back. Yes, 74 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: you're ready to get turn tonight. You're gonna be fun. 75 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: We have a lot to celebrate you. And I mean 76 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: speaking of celebrating, like, yes, he got you have so 77 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: much going on. Talk to us about your book, Talk 78 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: to us about so I wrote a book that's going 79 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: to be published through not A cult Dot Media and 80 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: O T I A c U L T dot Media 81 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: and um, they're an amazing publishers. Locally and they published 82 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 1: Hella Folks in l A, mostly people of color, mostly 83 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: black poets. So it's like I'm amongst really amazing company. 84 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: And they approached me and they're like, do you want 85 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 1: to do a book? And I was like, yeah, of course. 86 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: And so I always knew that my first book was 87 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 1: going to be called Corresson. And where does that come from? 88 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: Why that title? So two different things. I got a 89 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: Melo is my favorite book by Sanine sis Meadows is 90 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: my favorite book in the whole wide world. So so 91 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 1: when I when I was young, I wanted to have 92 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: the title of a book that mirrored what karda Melo was. 93 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 1: But Corrasson also, you know in Spanish we use it 94 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: as darling, like, oh, Cordresson, And my dad would say 95 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: that whenever he was in a good mood. And my 96 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 1: dad was an alcoholic, so be him being in a 97 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: good mood was a big deal in our home, so 98 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: sometimes he'd be like coon. And when he passed away, 99 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 1: I got the word Corrasson tattooed at my risk for him. 100 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,480 Speaker 1: So it's a word that I have a big relationship with. 101 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: And also like I'm I consider myself like a bigger heart, 102 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: like I'm hella emotional, I'm a cancer, so yeah, let 103 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 1: me cancer some all feelings and it just it just 104 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: makes sense that um in general, corrasson is a word 105 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,799 Speaker 1: that identify with a lot. But for the book itself, 106 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 1: it's a book about love and just how And it's 107 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: not about like love, it's just know it's about how 108 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:24,239 Speaker 1: complicated and painful love can be. But yet we still 109 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: insist on returning to love, and that's what the whole 110 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: book is. Yeah, I'm in love with the with the 111 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 1: cover of the book. How did you decide this cover 112 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: artists gorgeous? I didn't. It's very original. I didn't, So 113 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: my publisher asked me. Um. They contacted me with UM 114 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: with a designer, the cover art artist whose name I'm 115 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: completely slipping, but her name is on the website where 116 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 1: you could purchase my book. And UM, I don't know her. 117 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,559 Speaker 1: I haven't met her yet. You don't like lovely person. 118 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: She would stout and everything, and she they asked me 119 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,160 Speaker 1: to send um some pictures and ideas of stuff that 120 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 1: I wanted. She didn't use any of the pictures. All 121 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 1: I knew was that I wanted the cover to be 122 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: blood orange, and she honored that, and then she read 123 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: some of the poems in the book and came back 124 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: with that artwork. And so it wasn't even what I envisioned. 125 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: It was something that I wanted but didn't know I 126 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: wanted right right. And can you describe for our listeners 127 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: a little bit, because I love the way that you 128 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,240 Speaker 1: described the cover art, especially the specific type of mango 129 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: that she included. Yes, so it's um. It's a branch 130 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: with a mango, and then it also has a heart, 131 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: and the heart of the color of the leaves that 132 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: are on the branch also, and the mango itself isn't 133 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: a right like the mangoes that we know here, the 134 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: big juicy mangoes. It's um. It looks like the mangoes 135 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: that grow on Salvadorian trees. And I don't know what 136 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: kind of mangoes those aren't, but it's like the mangoes 137 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: that grow in my my family's property, which is why 138 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: I use mangoes a lot in my poetry. I about 139 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: when I think of it, said about the way I 140 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 1: think of my grandmother's mango trees. And so that's where 141 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: she got that from. And then there's that the heart 142 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: hanging is a human heart, and it's just I didn't 143 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: even know I wanted that, but it's so it was 144 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 1: so dope, it's so fitting. It's like I can't even 145 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: imagine it any other way, especially after reading. Yes, Yes, 146 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: I think I think the cover made made the book 147 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: what it is because I wasn't done with the book 148 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: once I got the cover, and then seeing the cover, 149 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, I completely get my entire vision. 150 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 1: You know. What's so beautiful is like your art inspired 151 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 1: the illustrator to create her art, which in turn helped 152 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: you to finish your art. Yes, you too influenced each 153 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: other to create this book. Yeah, definitely. Because then I 154 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: changed the titles to the chapters to fit that. The 155 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: chapter is called the first chapter is called the Hunger, 156 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: and then the Fruit, the bruising, the egg, and the 157 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:01,959 Speaker 1: return and so it's all kind of around, based around 158 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: like growing outside of growing and just what like the 159 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: process that our fruit takes, you know, and like what 160 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: happens and when it with the bruising, it's a chapter 161 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: that talks about um one's love is bruised and it's 162 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: not it's not happy anymore, but you're still in love. 163 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: And you don't know if you're coming and going. And 164 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: that's kind of what the fruit right when you drop 165 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: it and it gets bruised, like the part that got 166 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: her isn't good to eat anymore, but you're still trying 167 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: to eat the fruit. So yeah, like, yeah, her, her 168 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: her vision affected my vision. And I'm just so excited. 169 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: It's just so beautiful how you two had influenced each other. Yeah, 170 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: when I think that's incredible. Whatever meeting and or each 171 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: other or anything like that, it was specifically like the 172 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 1: art that influenced art. That's what she's amazing. And I'm 173 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: so mad that I didn't have her name pulled up 174 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: for it. But um, she she knows what she is. 175 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 1: And also if you look into the book, if you 176 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: purchase the book, it will be in said the book cover. 177 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 1: And she's not a cult me. She works for not 178 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: a cult meat. Oh maybe I think we might be 179 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: able to pull up her name here, Cassidy. Yes, there 180 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,599 Speaker 1: you go, Cassidy. And you started with a seat, but 181 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: I didn't want to see the wrong name. I can't 182 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: really Uh, it's hard for me to read the last name. 183 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: But Cassidy. We'll we'll post and give her credit um 184 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: when we post later. But and so there's a lot 185 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: of the fruit mango is consistent throughout. But also like 186 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 1: when you were writing it, you were talking to me 187 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: about how food in general and eating is a really 188 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: consistent theme throughout the book as well. Yeah, what, um, 189 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,959 Speaker 1: what y'all don't know is that Mala had a special 190 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,439 Speaker 1: insight to me putting the book together. Um. The book 191 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: was put together in two weeks, which yes, I said, well, 192 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 1: a lot of the work existed already. But when my publisher, 193 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,080 Speaker 1: when I would sign the contract, it wasn't They gave 194 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: me a month. And I think we were both really 195 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 1: just eager on both ends just to get a book 196 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: out and excited. And I'm not a patient person. I'm 197 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 1: a cancer I'm not an ancient person, and so um. 198 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: And at the time when I sent a contract, that 199 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 1: was in the middle of a bunch of other things 200 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: that I was going to have time until mid August. 201 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 1: And so for two weeks, eight hours a day every day, 202 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 1: I sat in this coffee shop and severally called and 203 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: ma La would come and join me most days and 204 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,239 Speaker 1: we would sit there and after we talked about everybody 205 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 1: for a few hours. After we talked about all all 206 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: the all the gentrifiers and server lake Um. Then I 207 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: would work on the book, and at the time I 208 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: was going through a breakup of the relationship that I 209 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: wrote about, and Ma La like a lot of times 210 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: had to like walk me through my feelings and then 211 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, I know what poem is missing, 212 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: and then I would be able to go back to that. 213 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: So um in the book, I used the word hunger 214 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,959 Speaker 1: and eating a lot because I think uh as latin 215 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: as too, we have such a complicated relationship with food, 216 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 1: right and um idea was an eating disorder and a 217 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: regular basis um compulsive, you know, composed of eating and 218 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 1: and so I compare that a lot to the way 219 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: that you love. Sometimes it's just so compulsive that you 220 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: just want to be in love and and and then 221 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 1: and then also like we express love through eating and 222 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: through food. And there's a poem called and it's about 223 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: like making um and comparing a relationship to making and 224 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 1: stuff like that. But yeah, so food is, you know, 225 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: food is very integral to the way that we love. 226 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 1: And there was a term that you use in Spanish 227 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 1: to describe that feeling of eating so much or having 228 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: so much of something that you're having so much of 229 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: something sweet is and which is um? And so there's 230 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 1: a poem in that because the word doesn't exist in English. 231 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: And I think that that's also as latina as we 232 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: love like that a lot. Uh what sometimes the way 233 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,199 Speaker 1: we love someone doesn't exist in the other language either 234 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: way that we're going, you know, like, um, most of 235 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,599 Speaker 1: my last relationship was with the black man, and so 236 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: there are a lot of things of each other's lives 237 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: that we couldn't translate for each other, right, like like 238 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: my experience as a brown woman and his experience as 239 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: a black man, and and so there's a lot loss 240 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: in translation and I and I expressed that a lot 241 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: within the book too. Yeah. I think the book really 242 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: captures this kind of duality of existing in this you know, 243 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,560 Speaker 1: these two languages and not really having the words, but 244 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: having the words in both languages, if that makes sense, 245 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: like really doing that interchange that what is that word 246 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 1: when you when you code switch? Yes, absolutely, And I 247 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,319 Speaker 1: think that's what a lot of I would say, your 248 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: readers can really relate to loving in two languages. Yes, 249 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,079 Speaker 1: thank you, Yeah, I don't. I make it a point 250 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 1: that a lot of writers. I telscized when they when 251 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 1: they switched when they use Spanish, or if they're ready 252 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: in English when they use Spanish, or the other way around. 253 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 1: And I don't because I feel that both languages exist 254 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: in me at the same time, and and so I don't. 255 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: I just treat them like everything. And there's a lot 256 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 1: of Spanish within the book enough, I mean enough where 257 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: if your own in English reader, you could still understand. 258 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,079 Speaker 1: But I also there's a there's a poem at the 259 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: end of very small poem that's completely in Spanish. And 260 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: my my thing is in anything that I published, UM, 261 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,719 Speaker 1: that I want my mother to be a part of. 262 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,560 Speaker 1: I create something that's completely in Spanish for her to 263 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: be but I have her own experience with it and 264 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: without it having to be translated. So speaking about your mother, 265 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 1: I'm wondering what has it been like for you, UM, 266 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: telling your family about being published. They don't, they don't. 267 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 1: They don't know. They don't they don't know. I don't know. 268 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 1: They know, they don't they know they know the I'm 269 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: being published. I told them I want them to be there. Um, 270 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: I can. Some of them are excited, some of them aren't. UM. 271 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: I think I think because nowadays publishing is so accessible 272 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: to people, you know, with Amazon and create Space and 273 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 1: all that stuff, like people here, Oh, you're being published 274 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: like more common now than it has been in the past, 275 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 1: or or more common for people like minorities, women, people 276 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: of color previously. But but for me, I'm to be 277 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: here for a little bit. But my publisher, the people 278 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 1: that run my publishing company are white, right, and um 279 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: the artists that created the art is a white woman. 280 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 1: And I say this because in Latino, in the Latino 281 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,880 Speaker 1: coming in the Latino community, you've made it when you've 282 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 1: got white people working for you, and so like that's true. 283 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 1: But this is like, this is what I'm trying to 284 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 1: like express to my family, where it's just like, no, 285 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: it's not that, Like I it doesn't take anything away 286 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 1: from you. If your self published. I think it's an 287 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: amazing feat. Obviously, it's something that I don't know how 288 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 1: to do myself, and I waited until a publisher approached me. 289 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: But also in on the other side of that, like 290 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: there's a whole team that that believes in my vision 291 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: enough to work for me, like without me having to 292 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: invest in they're investing in me when they're taking a 293 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: risk with publishing a book that might not sell or 294 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 1: or not. Luckily that hasn't been a problem. But you've 295 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: been doing very well with the pretty UM tell us 296 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: about the pre sales, Um, I don't know exactly the 297 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 1: number of pre sales, but I do know my publisher 298 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: told me that we've been selling every day since we 299 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: um pre since our book went up for pre sales. 300 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: That's and so at least I know what we announced 301 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,760 Speaker 1: it like a mental consent and I'm still thirty copies 302 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 1: at least, but no, we've sold a large amount to 303 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 1: where I think we're going to need to do a 304 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 1: second edition really soon. And and so it's really really exciting, 305 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: especially UM, because this is my debut like actual book, 306 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: my chat books, magazines that I've done and considered them, 307 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 1: my mix tapes, and this is my and and some 308 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:45,480 Speaker 1: it's my first like it's my debut album. We're official, 309 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: your official, like you're certified, your official, And I do 310 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: want to say that I want to honor the fact 311 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 1: that you have self published, you know, on a smaller scale, 312 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: but you've been self publishing for a while and I've 313 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 1: so thousands of copies self published, and UM, it's valid, 314 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: and it's an accessible way to get your work to 315 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,400 Speaker 1: other people. And but it's just really hard to stay 316 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 1: on top of it and to like, um, deal with 317 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: all of the logistics of it while you're touring artists 318 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 1: and while you're still expected to create new things and 319 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 1: um perform and host workshops and be emotionally available to 320 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: to your followers. And I'm very blessed that I have 321 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,399 Speaker 1: so many of them, but it's it's a lot of work, 322 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,639 Speaker 1: and sometimes I'm just like, I don't want to go 323 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 1: to the post office or I don't want to sit 324 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: here and label all these ms. Not that I'm ungrateful, 325 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 1: it's just that I could be doing like I want 326 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: to be doing other things. So now that there's a 327 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: whole company that's willing to do that for me, I'm 328 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 1: so excited because's one of the most excited about that. 329 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,200 Speaker 1: I don't have to worry about orders getting to where 330 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 1: they need to get to write. No, absolutely, I mean 331 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 1: it's a huge accomplishment. We are so proud of you, 332 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 1: like the Mommy collective, we are so proud of you. 333 00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 1: We're so proud of you. And you know when you 334 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: you had put out a post about if anybody wants 335 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 1: to interview me about the book, and also right away 336 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: text me and she's like, um, hello, we need to 337 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: interview her. I was like, wait a second, it needs 338 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:13,160 Speaker 1: a thing like wait a second. But it's also interesting 339 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,480 Speaker 1: to be friends with. When you become friends with people 340 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 1: that have platforms right like you just like, well, you're 341 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: my friend, you know everything there is to know, but 342 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: we forget that there's like the whole rest of the 343 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: world that's listening. And then I'm like, because if I 344 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 1: come on, I'm just going to tell you everything already 345 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,920 Speaker 1: told me in the group texting, because I think about 346 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,360 Speaker 1: the moment collective is we talk every day all day, 347 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 1: like all the time, basic day long, and a lot 348 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:44,120 Speaker 1: of us don't really sleep, so we're really talking. There's 349 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,920 Speaker 1: always a message. Yes, She's like, guess what's so and 350 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 1: so told me. I was like this mother gott sending 351 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 1: God sending her memes or her got always send ship 352 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 1: but it's the overheard in downtown of late Yes, so God. 353 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: A censer means, um, my life, I always talking shit 354 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: about some dude. I'm always like, can you believe this 355 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 1: person commented this? That's a big one with us is 356 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 1: the online activity in the comments and stuff. It's such 357 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: a gift to be friends with women that, um understand 358 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: what it is to have a platform on social media. Um. 359 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: I worry a lot with with a lot of my 360 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 1: friendships in my life that I become overbearing, right talking 361 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,639 Speaker 1: about all these things that I do because Instagram is 362 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 1: such a huge part of my life. But two people 363 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,959 Speaker 1: that don't have that or don't do that, they're like, 364 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: it's Instagram, calm then, down right. But for me, it's 365 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,399 Speaker 1: my livelihood, it's my worth. Like I booked the events 366 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: I booked because of my following on Instagram because of that. 367 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,679 Speaker 1: So it's really I'm just so happy that I have 368 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 1: friends that get it. And when I was like followers, like, 369 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,679 Speaker 1: y'all get excited for me once super. But if I 370 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 1: tell like the HOMEI next door or whatever, it was like, 371 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 1: all right, that's cool, you had twenty four thousand yesterday, 372 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 1: So what's the big deal. I'm like, you know, it's 373 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 1: a milestone. Yeah, oh no, I mean we love Instagram 374 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:14,880 Speaker 1: and we'll talk about Instagram all day and we do 375 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 1: and we do and we do. Yes, so yeah, we 376 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 1: have We're gonna come into our song break now and 377 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: and and and and and and and friends and and 378 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: and and and and and and and and and and 379 00:20:49,400 --> 00:21:13,920 Speaker 1: and and we're back. So we're back, and we're back 380 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,920 Speaker 1: with Yessica, and we're still talking about Gassan and being 381 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 1: on the internet and talking ship and all that good stuff. 382 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: You Know, what I think is one of one of 383 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: my favorite things I think that I relate to the 384 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 1: most in the book is the way you sprinkle poems 385 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: about your mental health, Yes, throughout the book, in relationship 386 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 1: to being in love individually with your family, all of 387 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 1: the above, which I think a lot of us with 388 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,640 Speaker 1: any type of mental health disorder can really relate to 389 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: how you can separate it. So, can you tell us 390 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: a little bit more about writing about your depression and 391 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: what that has been like? Yeah? I think when I 392 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 1: was trying to tell the story of of so Corrason 393 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: is the story of a relationship, right, not vervade on 394 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: any of the relationships I've lived, but maybe like accumulation 395 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 1: of all of them, and it's this big old love story. 396 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,640 Speaker 1: But in telling a love story for me, I think 397 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,040 Speaker 1: my my mental health has to be a part of 398 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 1: it because it affects the way that I love so 399 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 1: much right, my anxiety, my depression, my the voices in 400 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 1: my hand that tell me that like I'm not deserving 401 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 1: of love, and the decisions I've made because of that, 402 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 1: or or the days that I need whatever it is 403 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: that I need in the moment, it will affect the 404 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,240 Speaker 1: way that I can love someone or someone can love me. 405 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 1: And and so it was a conscious decision to include 406 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 1: that within the book, and um, it's it was tricky 407 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 1: in the sense that, Um, I didn't want it to 408 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: feel like I was a victim of myself. Do you 409 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like I don't because sometimes when 410 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: we feel when we talked about my depression and UM, 411 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 1: so terrible for letting my depression do this to me 412 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,679 Speaker 1: or like or on this you know, and I'm like, no, 413 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 1: like it's something that I have. And there's a poem 414 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,159 Speaker 1: in the first chapter that's called, um my depression speaks 415 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: to me. And in the in the poem, the depression 416 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: is like asking me, like are you going to tell 417 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: him that this is what you deal with? Like are 418 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,639 Speaker 1: you going to tell him that you have depression? Or 419 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: he's just gonna wait until it pushes him away? And 420 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,679 Speaker 1: I think that that's always like the decision that you 421 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,680 Speaker 1: make when you're in a relationship, just like, well, you know, 422 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,160 Speaker 1: when do I tell him I have mental health issues 423 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 1: or do I let him figure it out and see 424 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,600 Speaker 1: if he's gonna stay or if he's going to go. 425 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 1: And I think that in every relationship there's that period 426 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,680 Speaker 1: where like you have to decide what's going to happen. 427 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,640 Speaker 1: Like when he asked you why you're up really late 428 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: every night? Do you just tell him that you're in 429 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,439 Speaker 1: in something like you're just a night owl or that 430 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: your anxiety doesn't that easily and and so there's always 431 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: that that question of like when can I be vulnerable 432 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: and when can I can I allow this person? And 433 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 1: so in the chapter that's about founding in love is 434 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 1: kind of like the surrender, like Okay, well here I 435 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,679 Speaker 1: am with my issues both mental and physical, and like 436 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,640 Speaker 1: he says, it's okay, so I'm going to believe him. 437 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: And it's so interesting because the parts of you that 438 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,440 Speaker 1: are visible to others are just as integral and important 439 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: to your functioning as the parts that are invisible to others. 440 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 1: So it's like what parts do you choose to show? 441 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: And do you have no choice to show? And how 442 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 1: people react to each and every part of your definitely. 443 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 1: And um, There's there's a chapter in the following in 444 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,680 Speaker 1: Love section that's called Belula, and it talks about facial 445 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: hair and how I wouldn't want to stay over at 446 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 1: a partner's house because I didn't want him to see 447 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: that like I shaved my face, and so in the 448 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,640 Speaker 1: in the book, I also allude to my mental health 449 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 1: within in that chap in that poem, I allude to 450 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,359 Speaker 1: my mental health within it too because I feel that 451 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,639 Speaker 1: like my anxiety is a part of that too. And 452 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 1: then it talks about finally stays finally spending the night 453 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: at his house, and in thinking like, so, this is 454 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: what love feels like in this moment. It is safe 455 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 1: for me to stand here in your kitchen with all 456 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:09,160 Speaker 1: my facial hair and all my issues and like whatever 457 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: it is, and it's just I'm just me. And I 458 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: think that that's an important thing that we see. We're 459 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,479 Speaker 1: always looking for that inl Yeah, that's safetiness that this 460 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,399 Speaker 1: person isn't gonna leave because you have, you know, in 461 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,640 Speaker 1: an anxiety attack, right or because you know you have acne, 462 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,800 Speaker 1: or you have facial hair, you know, and things that 463 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 1: you're insecure about and that your anxiety are also also 464 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 1: hiden right and if they do leave right, which in 465 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,359 Speaker 1: the book they do leave, and when they when they left, 466 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 1: it's that the dealing with the self talk afterwards, where 467 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,399 Speaker 1: like I pushed him away, and there's a lot of 468 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 1: that in the book. There's a lot about like you 469 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 1: couldn't put up with me anymore, um, and then there's 470 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 1: a lot of the like, no, but I'm okay, I'm 471 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 1: gonna be okay, I'm gonna be okay, I'm gonna be okay. 472 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,120 Speaker 1: Maybe you know that that's kind of what we gotta 473 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:56,959 Speaker 1: deal with ultimately, that's what happens to when you were 474 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: throw a breakup. Self talk of like I did all 475 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,400 Speaker 1: this ship, they did all this ship. No, you're gonna 476 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,959 Speaker 1: be okay, No you're not. Yes you are, Yes, yes, 477 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 1: the back and forth, back and forth. And I love 478 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 1: how on the topic of love, like the book deals 479 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: with love on many different levels and in many different 480 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: directions love, love of self, love of a man, love 481 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: a family, love of your theorra. And I love the 482 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,360 Speaker 1: fact that a lot of the terms that you use 483 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,920 Speaker 1: are very intimate terms that like we would call each other, 484 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,400 Speaker 1: that you would hear within families specifically, not amongst strangers, 485 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,159 Speaker 1: like like like you talked about grasson or go to 486 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: back is another title of another poem, right, And I 487 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 1: think that it's just so beautiful the way that you 488 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 1: incorporated that like intimate like even even familial love into 489 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,920 Speaker 1: the work. I think even home girl love is in there. Yes, 490 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,200 Speaker 1: there's there's one about home girl love, which is which 491 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,119 Speaker 1: is a very um brief short I think sometimes you 492 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,199 Speaker 1: could tell the biggest story with the shortest in the 493 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 1: shortest spending time. And it's about someone just asking you 494 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,080 Speaker 1: if you have a bobby pin, and you giving a 495 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: girl bobby pin and just sitting together in the bus 496 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: headed home, and and like the poem doesn't say it's 497 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 1: a stranger, if it's your home girl or whatever. It 498 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: just says that it's another woman. And um. But all 499 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 1: that love that UM I made sure to include into 500 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 1: the book is because you can't separate any of that 501 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 1: your family teaches you to love. So that's that was 502 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: like the groundwork to what I was doing. I'm like, 503 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: I know everything you know about love is what my 504 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 1: parents taught me. And my parents taught me to love 505 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 1: their home country, and my parents taught me that love 506 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: is dysfunctional because they were dysfunctional. And then they taught 507 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 1: me that I love for gifts, but they also told 508 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 1: me that love hurts, and and that was the groundwork 509 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,919 Speaker 1: to like everything that I've done. I'm like, you have 510 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 1: to you have to know my relationship with my family 511 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 1: before you know my relationship with men. And that's why 512 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,920 Speaker 1: the poem begins, the book begins and ends where I'm 513 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 1: talking about my roots, you know, and which is my family, 514 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: and it's about absolutely and I love also how you 515 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: describe so much of a sal and like the trees, 516 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:07,560 Speaker 1: the actual like the property that your family has down there. 517 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: And when I would go sit with you at right 518 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 1: and you were describing to me like your memories of 519 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 1: being in a salad and it's been a few years, 520 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,879 Speaker 1: like it gave me such an insight into you. You 521 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: know that I would have no access to to those 522 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,160 Speaker 1: that type of information about you because I've never been 523 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 1: to this place. I've never been with you in this place, right, Yeah, 524 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 1: it's I think I think it's important for me to 525 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: talk about my love to send about for you don't 526 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 1: understand how I live in content nostalgia, And I think 527 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 1: that that affects the way that I love to like. 528 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: I'm a very melancholy, nostalgic person, idealize a lot of 529 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: things I live like in theory a lot um, and 530 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,960 Speaker 1: I think that that you have to understand that about 531 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 1: me to understand how I approach love. Um, the man 532 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: that the book is mostly about, UM always tells me 533 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: that he's always just like, you're always living in what 534 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: things should be, but not in what things are. And 535 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: at first I get pissed, because I mean, we have 536 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: other shoes. I was on the phone with him before 537 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: I got here, so I'm like, whatever, but Um, But 538 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 1: but he's right, like I'm always just like, this is 539 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 1: what we should be looking like right now, this is 540 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 1: what everything should be, because this is what he told 541 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 1: me it was going to be, and that's what I 542 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 1: said about it. It It was for me. I grew up 543 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,440 Speaker 1: listening to all the stories about my mom, and then 544 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: I showed up as a as a twelve year old 545 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 1: for the first time, I was like, what the fun 546 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 1: is all it is? And then going back and spending 547 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: so many summers, and then going as a teenager, and 548 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: then not going for a while, and then going as 549 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 1: an adult. I was just like I didn't realize it 550 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,959 Speaker 1: was this fucked up and then and then now not 551 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 1: having gone seven years, everything looks different in retrospect because 552 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: it's been so long, so the nostal just like making 553 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 1: everything softer and pretty. It's constantly changing. Yeah, I think 554 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: that's a really common feeling when you haven't been to 555 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: your home country in a long time. You know. I 556 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: think about my father and how he has only been 557 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 1: back to a bit of a few times since he 558 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 1: immigrated here, and that kind of I feel that nostalgia 559 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 1: for him, even though that's not something he may feel. 560 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: But it's like, I haven't been back to bedouin almost 561 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 1: four years, and like, I feel so much nostalgia, you know, 562 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,440 Speaker 1: in a country that I wouldn't even I wasn't born in, 563 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,440 Speaker 1: you know. So it's this kind of I completely relate 564 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 1: to what you're saying about the way we love our 565 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,000 Speaker 1: families and our countries, and then the way it also 566 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,200 Speaker 1: affects the way we love our partners. Yes, definitely. And 567 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 1: I wonder, Yesterka, like if you had gone to a 568 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,400 Speaker 1: Salvador recently and then wrote the book, like if you 569 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 1: went last year and then this opportunity still came to 570 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: write the book. How do you think that maybe the 571 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 1: book would have come out differently the book there would 572 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: have been more of a duality within the book. I 573 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: think it would have been more of a clear line 574 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 1: between like this is it had. When you go back 575 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 1: home and you come back, you come back even more 576 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: confused because I lived my life here being like, I'm Savadorian, 577 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:54,840 Speaker 1: I'm Salvadorian, I'm Salvadorian, I'm Salvia, I'm a Salvy poet, 578 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,320 Speaker 1: I'm Salvia. I'm Central American. Don't call me in Mexican, 579 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 1: call me Salvi, right like. And then I show up 580 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 1: and I said althoad And then they're like, um, you 581 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 1: don't have a Salva accent. We have a Mexican accent? 582 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,720 Speaker 1: Are you Megican? Are you sure you're not Mexican? H 583 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 1: l menana like and then like I stick out like 584 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 1: a sore thumb. You could tell them that there because 585 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 1: people first of all, because of of like socio economic 586 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 1: reasons or whatever, people aren't as overweight as I am. Right. Also, 587 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: everything is organic there, so like you don't have all 588 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: the extra ship pumped into you, right, So I'm already bigger, 589 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 1: And that's a whole other thing to navigate that the 590 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: whole other topic. But I just stick out like a 591 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: sore thumb. So I always come back a little broken hearted, 592 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,560 Speaker 1: a little broken hearted, and and a little like displaced, 593 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 1: because I'm upset to be back here where life is 594 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 1: such so hustle and bustle and such a fight, a 595 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: constant fight. But over there, I'm not from there, and 596 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 1: I'm missing here until you're like in this like where 597 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 1: is home? And I think that that's why I tend 598 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,800 Speaker 1: to make home out of men, And then that's what 599 00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 1: the book is, because I'm always like, Okay, well why 600 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 1: do I fit in? You're like where do I fit in? 601 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 1: So like I'm trying to build something that's completely mine 602 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 1: with somebody else, but we forget that that somebody else 603 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 1: is their own person and they can't be completely yours instead, 604 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: and so I think, um, what Corrasson comes. The last 605 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 1: chapter of Cordresson is called the Return, and it's about 606 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 1: carving your own corner and being like, well this like 607 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 1: there's a there's a poem called the House on Parkman Avenue, 608 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 1: which is the street that I live on and the 609 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 1: home that I grew up in, and it's just a 610 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 1: moment where I'm sitting on the couch with Minnie, s 611 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 1: and f you and my mom and sisters are in 612 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 1: the house and those are like the most important people 613 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: in my life and like that's it. That's my world 614 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,360 Speaker 1: and in the moment that that's all right, in that moment, 615 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,480 Speaker 1: that's all that matters, and that's my world. And I 616 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 1: think that that's what um the book has taught me 617 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: that like in this world, there's five people that the 618 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,720 Speaker 1: world can't take for me. And that's what love is, 619 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 1: you know, Like that that whole thing is just like 620 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 1: I could travel everywhere, go everywhere and come back and 621 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 1: like these five bodies are year in their mind. And 622 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,040 Speaker 1: I think that. And I love that you bring up 623 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 1: your mom because you know, I feel like all three 624 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: of us really love our mothers. Like all three of 625 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 1: us have very special relationships with our mothers. And we 626 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,280 Speaker 1: have great moms, you know, and they're all very different, 627 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: all of our mothers, but we each we'll talk about 628 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,080 Speaker 1: that and yeah, there is like in my life, Like 629 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: I love my father. He's amazing. He would do anything 630 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: for me, he would kill for me, and he's fantastic. 631 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: But there's something about mom there's something about your mother 632 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:32,600 Speaker 1: and that mother's love that is just like so intense 633 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,360 Speaker 1: and unlike any other love you will ever experience from 634 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 1: anybody else. And you know that your mother has your back. Yeah, 635 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: And I felt guilty a lot of my work because 636 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 1: I write a lot about my dad. My dad passed 637 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,160 Speaker 1: away eight years ago, and so my growing up, my 638 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: dad was an alcoholic, but he and I worked close, 639 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 1: we worked together in our adulthoods and so, and there 640 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,360 Speaker 1: was his illness and then taking care of him towards 641 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 1: the end. So my dad consumed so much of my life, 642 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 1: whether it was through abuse or through healing or through 643 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 1: whatever it is that we were going through. And my 644 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,240 Speaker 1: mother has always just been this entity, constant, this constant 645 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,200 Speaker 1: beam of love and support and and just she was stable, 646 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,799 Speaker 1: so I never felt like I had to check on 647 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: her or like be there for her. And so now 648 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:17,200 Speaker 1: in his absence, we've had to redefine our friendship, I mean, 649 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: our relationship, you know, and also like find when you're 650 00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,480 Speaker 1: an adult. I'm thirty three years old, So when you're 651 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,400 Speaker 1: as old as I am, you have to build a 652 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 1: friendship with your mother because it's not you don't need 653 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,439 Speaker 1: them in the way that you needed them before. Yeah, 654 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 1: you kind of gotta figure out like what your relationship 655 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 1: looks like now. And and my mom and I are 656 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 1: figuring it out. She doesn't get what I do. Um. 657 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: I told her, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna she works. 658 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:48,479 Speaker 1: She's the housekeeper for um uh famous comedian from the eighties, right, 659 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:50,800 Speaker 1: And um I was just like, well should I'm like, 660 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to send them a copy of the book 661 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:54,680 Speaker 1: or like tell them about the book or they want 662 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 1: to come to the book released. And she's like, are 663 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,359 Speaker 1: you sure? Like you say a lot of really like 664 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,920 Speaker 1: you say a lot of like wild ship, And I 665 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 1: was just like, what are you? And then like I 666 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 1: got really defending on like what are you talking about? 667 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 1: What wild are you talking about specifically? And then I 668 00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 1: was just like, are you talking about want to talk 669 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,440 Speaker 1: to you about? Man? I want to talk to you 670 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,160 Speaker 1: about white people? Like I don't know, I need to 671 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,399 Speaker 1: know which. One year and so she didn't. She goes 672 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 1: just on Facebook, you say, like really like really like 673 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,000 Speaker 1: she follows me on Facebook and she doesn't read English, 674 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 1: but Facebook translates it for you, right, So she I 675 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,439 Speaker 1: forget every day and I'd be talking about Dick on there, 676 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 1: and oh my god, I'm dying. That is so true. 677 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,399 Speaker 1: You do talk about Dick on Facebook on Facebook, and yes, 678 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:43,920 Speaker 1: because it's where, because Instagram is good for posting poetry, 679 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:48,320 Speaker 1: um whatever. But it's really hard to engage a lot Twitter. 680 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,440 Speaker 1: I go on rants, but there's a character limit and 681 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,839 Speaker 1: all that and um other things on Twitter and then 682 00:35:55,920 --> 00:36:00,960 Speaker 1: on Facebook and then on Facebook. It's just where I 683 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 1: actually like get to have conversations with people. And I 684 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 1: don't know, I love social media. I don't care about 685 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 1: people that knock it and be like those people they 686 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 1: don't like that I met, blocked me. I met because 687 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:19,560 Speaker 1: of Instagram. If that's not valuable, then what what? What 688 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:21,560 Speaker 1: you know? I have a lot of beautiful people in 689 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 1: my life, and half of them half of them I 690 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 1: met because of social media. I don't And you know 691 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,799 Speaker 1: what I was thinking about the other day, Like we 692 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,799 Speaker 1: have been on the internet basically our whole lives, like 693 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:37,360 Speaker 1: starting with A I am starting with Aim, my Space 694 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:44,160 Speaker 1: and then Facebook for me, Tumbler, Twitter, Instagram and consistently 695 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,080 Speaker 1: for years. Well yeah, we've got at least us since 696 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,839 Speaker 1: we were me what was probably eleven twelve when I 697 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,839 Speaker 1: was on Aim, and stuff, and it's been every year. 698 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 1: I have been on some type of social media platform 699 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,880 Speaker 1: since I was eleven years old. We got a computer 700 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,880 Speaker 1: in my house. I think I was sixteen or seventeen, 701 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,759 Speaker 1: probably seventeen, and I've been I mean, I was doing 702 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 1: a lot of extra ship. I used to be a 703 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,960 Speaker 1: I used to be a catfish. Yeah, I had a 704 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,759 Speaker 1: made up life. I had a husband, two kids. Um, 705 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: I got a divorce, a lot I had going but 706 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,680 Speaker 1: but no but I but I've been sharing my poetry 707 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,040 Speaker 1: online since I was seventeen years old. So I've been 708 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,359 Speaker 1: sharing my poetry online for what thirteen sixteen years A 709 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: long time. And so when people ask me, like how 710 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:32,040 Speaker 1: I built the platform or whatever, I'm like, look like recently, yeah, 711 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,319 Speaker 1: my followers are now like high up there. But I've 712 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,040 Speaker 1: been engaging and sharing my work um for half of 713 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,880 Speaker 1: my life. And we've been engaging like we have our 714 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,640 Speaker 1: our people about fem tech, right, I mean we can 715 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,759 Speaker 1: talk about how like so many women of color are 716 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,080 Speaker 1: all of our little friends when we were younger and 717 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 1: as adults, so many of us have been engaged with 718 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,800 Speaker 1: the internet and when technology and find our own nice 719 00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:03,160 Speaker 1: space pages. I knew and whatever it was. We've been 720 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 1: film techis for years. I knew how to add the glitter, 721 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:13,760 Speaker 1: the glitter and the colors and I gotta travel once 722 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: for having um in peppers um the I don't want 723 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:21,160 Speaker 1: no any meaning. The short dick Man song. I guess 724 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 1: I was talking to something. I had a short dick 725 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,040 Speaker 1: I didn't know, and he was like, why you put 726 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 1: that song on there? And I used to, you know, 727 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 1: being able to dedicate I missed that. Haven't been able 728 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,200 Speaker 1: to dedicate a song to somebody on your mindspace? It's 729 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,080 Speaker 1: very cute and very romantic. You can't do that on 730 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,879 Speaker 1: Facebook no more, no or anywhere, but you could still 731 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 1: poke people on Facebook, which you could put their name 732 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,200 Speaker 1: with a heart in your bio and still d M 733 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:53,359 Speaker 1: other woman but whatever whatever that's that's your likes. That's 734 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 1: so true. I love that. I love that because y'all know, 735 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,240 Speaker 1: I've been like I was a for like a minute. 736 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,920 Speaker 1: And that's the thing is, we wanted to acknowledge we 737 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 1: all have all of us at some point or the other, 738 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,080 Speaker 1: whether you knew it or not, whether you knew it 739 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:14,919 Speaker 1: or not, yes, in some way on some level like it. Yes, 740 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:16,719 Speaker 1: I was I was all in it. I was just 741 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:23,480 Speaker 1: like cheese man. I was like, I want to know when, where? How? Wait? Why? What? Funny? 742 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,360 Speaker 1: But in other news, and you know, there's more to 743 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 1: the book as far as you have your book release 744 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,360 Speaker 1: also coming up, you have you have a couple of 745 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,479 Speaker 1: different book related events coming up. And so there's there's 746 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,640 Speaker 1: two that I'm very excited about in their month apart 747 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,640 Speaker 1: the one that you need to be at this week. 748 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:45,800 Speaker 1: It's at Thursday October twelve pm at Art Share l A, 749 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:50,040 Speaker 1: free to get in, free parking across the street. Um, 750 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,759 Speaker 1: I'm really hoping that all of l A shows up. 751 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,640 Speaker 1: Oh and we'll be there. Oh yes, yes, the mommies 752 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,920 Speaker 1: are going to be there, of course, all of us, 753 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:03,640 Speaker 1: so we could get in at right. Honestly, there's no list, 754 00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 1: so it will be first come, first serve. Um, there's 755 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:12,040 Speaker 1: everything's gonna I'm gonna start punctually at eight pm. Um, 756 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm trying to get everybody out by like the show 757 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 1: itself done by thirty. But afterwards I will be we 758 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,160 Speaker 1: will be selling books there and I will be signing 759 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,279 Speaker 1: books and taking pictures with you. I mean, you don't 760 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:23,400 Speaker 1: have to take a picture of me. I don't want 761 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:27,880 Speaker 1: to assume people want to take pictures, but if you 762 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 1: follow me, you know that I'm all about the pictures. 763 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,440 Speaker 1: But basically we'll be I'll be signing books, and UM, 764 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,440 Speaker 1: I just want you to take out some home with 765 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,400 Speaker 1: you and it's it's going to be fifteen dollars to 766 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:41,120 Speaker 1: cash your card, and UM, yeah, we're gonna have some 767 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,239 Speaker 1: guest poets at your book. I have ten guests, so 768 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:47,640 Speaker 1: ill I'm hella extra most people, if you've never been 769 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,919 Speaker 1: to a book release, Um, in most poetry circuits, when 770 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:53,480 Speaker 1: there's a book release, people will have four or three 771 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,520 Speaker 1: of the closest friends or just post they admire or whatever, 772 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,839 Speaker 1: come and do a set of their work, read three 773 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,840 Speaker 1: or three poems or or poems. Ah, and then they'll 774 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:05,439 Speaker 1: I'll go up, and then comes the person that whose 775 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,800 Speaker 1: book releases, and then they do a whole set. Because 776 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,680 Speaker 1: I have so many friends I love, and because I'm 777 00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 1: a diva, I didn't want anybody else to be doing 778 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 1: this set that wasn't me, and so then but I 779 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,520 Speaker 1: still wanted to give everybody, like hello poems and I 780 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:23,800 Speaker 1: have so many gifted, amazing, legendary poets that are my friends, 781 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,520 Speaker 1: and I asked them to come and read. So she 782 00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,319 Speaker 1: Handlan Claive. If you don't know who she Hunt is, 783 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: please look him up. He's one of the founders of 784 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 1: the Portal Lounge legend, the legend, and he's he's been 785 00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:37,960 Speaker 1: my coach and I call him my mentor. I don't 786 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,920 Speaker 1: know if he if he agrees, but he's my mentor. 787 00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:42,759 Speaker 1: And all had to crush on she Hun at one 788 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,920 Speaker 1: time in our lives, one time or another. I remember 789 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,680 Speaker 1: I had the biggest when he had his longer hair 790 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,520 Speaker 1: and he would wear it up on top. I died. 791 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,440 Speaker 1: I died because to me, he's like such a like 792 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,600 Speaker 1: not my dad, but he's like such a dad coach kids. 793 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:02,120 Speaker 1: Yes he has three kids, but like when women call 794 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 1: him like yeah whatever. So Javon Johnson will be there. 795 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 1: Who's another another person who's my mentor? And javan so 796 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:13,160 Speaker 1: extra and um Alicia wise, I want to fire a 797 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 1: partner host loving and when body just a bunch of 798 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,040 Speaker 1: other people that if I go down, the list c 799 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,960 Speaker 1: too long. But it's ten folks and they're doing one 800 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,920 Speaker 1: poem each, and you just get to see who influenced 801 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,360 Speaker 1: me and why I am who I am as a 802 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 1: poet and and then November eleven, which more information will 803 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,680 Speaker 1: come about. That will be a reading and a discussion 804 00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:37,360 Speaker 1: and assigning of Corrasson at Espacio hosted by local radio. 805 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,040 Speaker 1: And so that's it would be a super cute night 806 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,399 Speaker 1: with um because I'm a diva and I'm doing two 807 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,839 Speaker 1: book releases. Yeah, why not? Right? Why the funk not? 808 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 1: You know, I mean, it's a big accomplishment, It's a 809 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,520 Speaker 1: big deal. It's a beautiful book, a labor of love. 810 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,799 Speaker 1: You poured so much of yourself into it. Let's and 811 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,799 Speaker 1: I know. And that's the thing is your readers and 812 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,600 Speaker 1: your follower your leader. I can't talk your readers and 813 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,520 Speaker 1: your followers. They want to celebrate with you. They do. 814 00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,319 Speaker 1: And because a lot of I share my work online right, 815 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,480 Speaker 1: A lot of these poems I've already existed on Instagram before, 816 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,879 Speaker 1: and I feel they they my followers. They don't get 817 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,279 Speaker 1: it that they were a big part of the book too, 818 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,200 Speaker 1: because I know what resonates with them. It's not that 819 00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,440 Speaker 1: I'm catering to what they want, but I'm having a conversation. 820 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,880 Speaker 1: There's a dialogue with with the people that support me, 821 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 1: and what resonates with them is what pushes me to 822 00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,520 Speaker 1: want to write more about that one specific topic. And 823 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,840 Speaker 1: so when I was choosing the poems, I was literally 824 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,920 Speaker 1: looking at the comments under poems and stuff like that, 825 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,799 Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, this is important because this is 826 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: important to my followers, so be thank you so much 827 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,239 Speaker 1: for having me. This was so fun, so much fun. 828 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,520 Speaker 1: We have to do this again, yea, And that would 829 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 1: if you excuse us. We're gonna go party for the 830 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,719 Speaker 1: sas birthday. We're like, we gotta get them, we gotta 831 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 1: wrap up, you gotta get ready to the party. So 832 00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,760 Speaker 1: remember October twelve, next week at archer La Yes Beca's 833 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,759 Speaker 1: book release. And we also have a fun little announcement. 834 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:08,360 Speaker 1: Super excited, so we are we lass are so proud 835 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,920 Speaker 1: to announce that we will be participating in this year's 836 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:15,560 Speaker 1: first ever podcast sterio Festeen, which is a Latin X 837 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 1: digital media experience. The podcast fest was created to amplify 838 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,440 Speaker 1: the Latin X voices of the podcast world and as 839 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:26,080 Speaker 1: a space for the community to discuss the visibility and 840 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 1: invisibility of Latin X digital content creators. Podcast sto Fest 841 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:37,240 Speaker 1: is presented by Dominetto and it will take place Sunday, 842 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 1: November nineteenth at downtown at Lake. The event is free. 843 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,879 Speaker 1: It's a free event. It's open to the public. Um 844 00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,479 Speaker 1: and if you want more information on podcast sterio Fest 845 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:53,560 Speaker 1: and Domingueto, please follow on Instagram. Yes at podcast sterdio 846 00:44:53,640 --> 00:45:00,360 Speaker 1: Fest and at don't share the links if you missed 847 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,880 Speaker 1: it on If you missed it, it's already on Instagram. 848 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:07,440 Speaker 1: Actually Mala shared it with the you know, proper tags 849 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,040 Speaker 1: and all that. So go ahead and find it and 850 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,280 Speaker 1: we'll share it. We'll keep sharing it. Thank you again, 851 00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:15,560 Speaker 1: thank you, Yes, until next time, does