WEBVTT - Skip the optional arguments

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.

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<v Speaker 2>Good Morning. This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Today's tip is to skip the optional arguments. There are

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<v Speaker 2>times when the stakes of a decision are high and

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<v Speaker 2>the ethics or consequences require you to engage, But often

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<v Speaker 2>you don't have to argue with people, and you will

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<v Speaker 2>likely be happier if you skip the optional arguments. Today's

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<v Speaker 2>tip is inspired by Elizabeth Pasarella's new collection of personal essays.

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<v Speaker 2>It was an ugly couch anyway. As she puts it,

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<v Speaker 2>what happens as you get older is that you have

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<v Speaker 2>to slog through so many mandatory arguments and difficult relationships

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<v Speaker 2>that you stop choosing optional ones. This is something I

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<v Speaker 2>am trying to keep in mind on the argument front.

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<v Speaker 2>With five kids, there are definitely arguments I have to

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<v Speaker 2>engage in when it comes to keeping them safe and healthy.

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<v Speaker 2>The toddler really does need to be strapped into his

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<v Speaker 2>car seat, the teens do need to surrender their phones

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<v Speaker 2>at night so they can get enough sleep before school

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<v Speaker 2>the next day. But there are also a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>arguments that I can skip. The eight year old can

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<v Speaker 2>wear sweatpants to church if he wants. I am pretty

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<v Speaker 2>sure God doesn't care, and at this point in life

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<v Speaker 2>I should be secure enough if any one else wants

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<v Speaker 2>to judge. I value accuracy. And I also have a

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<v Speaker 2>three year old who spelts all sorts of fanciful ideas.

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<v Speaker 2>So if he yells I am not going to school tomorrow,

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<v Speaker 2>and he very much is and absolutely loves preschool so

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<v Speaker 2>much that he doesn't want to leave once he's there,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't bother pointing this out. I just say, ooh,

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<v Speaker 2>that's an interesting idea, and then we move on. I

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<v Speaker 2>try to pick my battles with older kids too. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>it would be good if all the dishware were to

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<v Speaker 2>be returned in a timely manner to the kitchen. On

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<v Speaker 2>the other hand, it's not really that big a deal.

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<v Speaker 2>As a friend was talking to me about raising her

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<v Speaker 2>young people, she noted that if her kids were failing school,

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<v Speaker 2>or were in legal trouble, or were addicted to something,

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<v Speaker 2>the dishes would be the last thing she was worrying about.

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<v Speaker 2>We are blessed if our kids are doing fine. The

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<v Speaker 2>dishes will make it to the dishwasher eventually, so that's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I also believe we can skip the optional arguments with

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<v Speaker 2>the adults in our lives as well. If your great

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<v Speaker 2>aunt has different political preferences than you, you can maybe

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<v Speaker 2>state your case once and then just talk about other

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<v Speaker 2>things when you see her. You don't need to correct

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<v Speaker 2>someone who pronounces a word wrong unless the person is

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<v Speaker 2>practicing a speech and actually wants that kind of feedback.

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<v Speaker 2>If you are pretty sure the tailor told you your

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<v Speaker 2>pants would be ready on a different day, but it

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<v Speaker 2>is not an inconvenience, you can just run with it now.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course, if something is immoral or illegal, or dangerous

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<v Speaker 2>or truly important to you, then by all means take

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<v Speaker 2>the battle. There are many hard things we have to

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<v Speaker 2>do in life. Arguing with a three year old about

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<v Speaker 2>whether it is going to snow tomorrow or not isn't

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<v Speaker 2>one of them. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 2>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you. You can

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<v Speaker 1>send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just

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<v Speaker 1>connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four then Breakfast Pod.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters, thanks so much, should I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

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