WEBVTT - Make jealousy your teacher

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to make jealousy your teacher.

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<v Speaker 2>Instead of letting it eat you up, let it nudge

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<v Speaker 2>you to do what you know you should be doing.

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<v Speaker 2>Today's tip was inspired by Mel Robin's recent book, The

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<v Speaker 2>Let Them Theory. In this book, she talks about letting

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<v Speaker 2>other people be who they are with no expectations that

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<v Speaker 2>they will be different. Then you can control how you

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<v Speaker 2>react to who and how they are handled right. This

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<v Speaker 2>mindset can be liberating by helping us focus on what

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<v Speaker 2>is within our power to change and not what isn't anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>Robin spends a section talking about how and why people

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<v Speaker 2>compare themselves with others. Life is most definitely not fair.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people grow up in troubled circumstances. Some people have

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<v Speaker 2>fewer resources than others. Some people have health problems or

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<v Speaker 2>are caring for family members.

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<v Speaker 1>With health issues. It can be easy to compare and limit,

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<v Speaker 1>but Mel notes that there are two different types of

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<v Speaker 1>comparison that people engage in torture or teacher. You can

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<v Speaker 1>use comparison to your advantage if you figure out how

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<v Speaker 1>to make it more of your teacher. The first type

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<v Speaker 1>of jealousy torture is when you are obsessed with something

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<v Speaker 1>that you cannot change. Someone else being taller than you

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<v Speaker 1>is an example here. There's really not that much you

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<v Speaker 1>can do about it, nor can you change that your

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<v Speaker 1>extended family all hated each other growing up, or that

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<v Speaker 1>you needed to work to pay your way through college

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<v Speaker 1>and other people could spend their summer's traveling. Since there

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<v Speaker 1>is nothing you can do, then there is nothing you

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<v Speaker 1>can do. Though, Mel points out that one practical mindset

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<v Speaker 1>shift is to question why it is that you engage

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<v Speaker 1>in upward comparison only. After all, we are almost all

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<v Speaker 1>taller than someone Probably someone else's family was worse, and

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<v Speaker 1>if you got to go to college, you are miles

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<v Speaker 1>ahead of the billions of people on this planet with

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<v Speaker 1>less access to education. Though that might help, but making

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<v Speaker 1>jealousy your teacher can be a gold mine for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Mel says in her book Here's why. She writes, if

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<v Speaker 1>you are jealous right now about someone else's success, good,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm happy for you. Jealousy is an invitation from your

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<v Speaker 1>future self. It is inviting you to look more closely

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<v Speaker 1>at someone else, not to make you feel inferior, but

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<v Speaker 1>to show you what is possible. In many cases, the

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<v Speaker 1>people we are most jealous of are not that different

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<v Speaker 1>from us, and that's what makes us really crazy. If

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<v Speaker 1>your neighbor was able to quit her job and start

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<v Speaker 1>her dream business, well she's not some billionaire with a

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<v Speaker 1>million connections. She literally lives pretty much the same life

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<v Speaker 1>you do. If she can do it, then her success

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<v Speaker 1>makes you look in the mirror and wonder why you

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<v Speaker 1>are not doing it, because if she can, most likely

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<v Speaker 1>you can. I love this idea. When I find myself

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<v Speaker 1>jealous of someone, it's often because there's something I could

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<v Speaker 1>be doing, but I'm not doing it, and that is

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<v Speaker 1>on me. So let jealousy be your teacher, showing you

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<v Speaker 1>what you really want and showing you exactly how someone

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<v Speaker 1>else is doing it. Ideally, you can learn from them.

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<v Speaker 1>In the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

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<v Speaker 1>listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

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<v Speaker 1>you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>from iHeartMedia. Please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or

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