1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: tip is to make jealousy your teacher. 4 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 2: Instead of letting it eat you up, let it nudge 5 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 2: you to do what you know you should be doing. 6 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 2: Today's tip was inspired by Mel Robin's recent book, The 7 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 2: Let Them Theory. In this book, she talks about letting 8 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 2: other people be who they are with no expectations that 9 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 2: they will be different. Then you can control how you 10 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,879 Speaker 2: react to who and how they are handled right. This 11 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 2: mindset can be liberating by helping us focus on what 12 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 2: is within our power to change and not what isn't anyway, 13 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 2: Robin spends a section talking about how and why people 14 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 2: compare themselves with others. Life is most definitely not fair. 15 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 2: Some people grow up in troubled circumstances. Some people have 16 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 2: fewer resources than others. Some people have health problems or 17 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 2: are caring for family members. 18 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: With health issues. It can be easy to compare and limit, 19 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: but Mel notes that there are two different types of 20 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: comparison that people engage in torture or teacher. You can 21 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: use comparison to your advantage if you figure out how 22 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: to make it more of your teacher. The first type 23 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,479 Speaker 1: of jealousy torture is when you are obsessed with something 24 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: that you cannot change. Someone else being taller than you 25 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: is an example here. There's really not that much you 26 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 1: can do about it, nor can you change that your 27 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: extended family all hated each other growing up, or that 28 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: you needed to work to pay your way through college 29 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: and other people could spend their summer's traveling. Since there 30 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: is nothing you can do, then there is nothing you 31 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: can do. Though, Mel points out that one practical mindset 32 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: shift is to question why it is that you engage 33 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: in upward comparison only. After all, we are almost all 34 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: taller than someone Probably someone else's family was worse, and 35 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: if you got to go to college, you are miles 36 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: ahead of the billions of people on this planet with 37 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: less access to education. Though that might help, but making 38 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: jealousy your teacher can be a gold mine for you. 39 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: Mel says in her book Here's why. She writes, if 40 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: you are jealous right now about someone else's success, good, 41 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: I'm happy for you. Jealousy is an invitation from your 42 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 1: future self. It is inviting you to look more closely 43 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: at someone else, not to make you feel inferior, but 44 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: to show you what is possible. In many cases, the 45 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: people we are most jealous of are not that different 46 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: from us, and that's what makes us really crazy. If 47 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: your neighbor was able to quit her job and start 48 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: her dream business, well she's not some billionaire with a 49 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 1: million connections. She literally lives pretty much the same life 50 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: you do. If she can do it, then her success 51 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 1: makes you look in the mirror and wonder why you 52 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:29,920 Speaker 1: are not doing it, because if she can, most likely 53 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: you can. I love this idea. When I find myself 54 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: jealous of someone, it's often because there's something I could 55 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: be doing, but I'm not doing it, and that is 56 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: on me. So let jealousy be your teacher, showing you 57 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: what you really want and showing you exactly how someone 58 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:56,119 Speaker 1: else is doing it. Ideally, you can learn from them. 59 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: In the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 60 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for 61 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 62 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 63 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 64 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia. Please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or 65 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.