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Speaker 1: Hey guys, this week's episode is fonsored by Ebene's Beauty.

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Speaker 1: coins off. All right, let's begin this week's show later. Welcome.

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Speaker 1: You are now listening to the Professional Hey guys, Welcome

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Speaker 1: to this week's episode of the PhD Podcast. It is

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Speaker 1: your Girl night and I'm super excited about this week's episode.

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Speaker 1: Before we begin, please make sure to follow me on

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Speaker 1: Instagram at the Professional home Girl, at the PhD Podcast,

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Speaker 1: and last but not least, ebon a Beauty Um. Please

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Speaker 1: keep in mind that all of my guests are a

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Speaker 1: not on this So let's begin this week's show. So,

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Speaker 1: I'm super excited about this week's episode because I am

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Speaker 1: talking to one of my childhood friends. I've been knowing

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Speaker 1: you what we've been doing to us for how long now?

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Speaker 1: So to start off the show, I was gonna share

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Speaker 1: the story. So I don't know if it was at

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Speaker 1: your house or your mom house. Remember it was in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen and we was making um, I think it

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Speaker 1: was making cheeseburgers or something, and I was mad hype

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Speaker 1: and then I was like, Yo, my cheesebreak is gonna

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Speaker 1: be mad good. And then it looked like completely done,

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Speaker 1: and then when I was about to bite into it,

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Speaker 1: that she was pink. I remember that. I remember that.

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Speaker 1: In the tent parties, I just based on Barker's Last Night, um,

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Speaker 1: and you was like you thought that Broker is gonna

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Speaker 1: be fine, and I was like, Yo, that's a killers.

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Speaker 1: So I'm super proud of you because I know it

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Speaker 1: wasn't easy becoming a celebrity chef, which we were the

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Speaker 1: steps later. UM. So one of the things that you

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Speaker 1: said that shape you into who you are now is

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Speaker 1: your mother's transition, which I can totally relate to because

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Speaker 1: my grandmother transition. She pretty much raised me. So tell

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Speaker 1: us about that period in your life. Oh, that was

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Speaker 1: definitely a hard time because my mom served as like

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Speaker 1: my mom and my father. So, um, you and your

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Speaker 1: mom was really close. Oh yeah, oh yeah, Like that

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Speaker 1: was my road dog. And she raised me, like she

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Speaker 1: gave me a lot of strength, a lot of cours

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Speaker 1: just being you know, a woman today like the woman

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Speaker 1: I am today is because of her. So I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: say she prepared me for it. Um, nothing really can

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Speaker 1: prepare you for losing a parent. Um. She was in hospice,

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Speaker 1: so we kind of knew what was going on. Um, id, No,

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Speaker 1: this was this was when I moved out. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: moved throughout here. So we started off in the Bay

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Speaker 1: Area and then we like we came to l A.

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Speaker 1: We went to San Diego, like we was living like

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Speaker 1: the life. I don't know if like God was setting

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Speaker 1: it up or what. But Um, for a year we

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Speaker 1: like enjoyed California together. She had got a job and everything,

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Speaker 1: and then out of nowhere. Um, which goes back to

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Speaker 1: the strength part of it. I had checked the mail

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Speaker 1: one day and I saw a letter from like the

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Speaker 1: American Cancers Association or society or whatever it was. And

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Speaker 1: I had asked her about it, and I said, what

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Speaker 1: is this. And then that's when she like she broke

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Speaker 1: down and like told me and my sister that she

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Speaker 1: had been diagnosed with cancer. M hum. I think the

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Speaker 1: most upset and part and that was the part that

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Speaker 1: I had to get over because I was mad at everybody.

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Speaker 1: Was like she went to the doctor two or three

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Speaker 1: times before about a pain under her arm, and they

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Speaker 1: just kept sitting her back home, and by the time

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Speaker 1: they did the biopsy, she had already been diagnosed with

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Speaker 1: stage four UM triple negative. So like I was pissed.

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Speaker 1: I was like, y'all would have caught it before the end,

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Speaker 1: you know, but you know, you can't question God in

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Speaker 1: his plan. And so after that, I really had to

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Speaker 1: like I was the only person out here, um family wise, UM,

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Speaker 1: so I really had to like I had to do

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Speaker 1: what I needed to do because she was she was

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Speaker 1: in the Navy, So she was in USB USB A

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Speaker 1: c B in the U. S. Navy. You know, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It was like that's like the where the ladies,

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Speaker 1: well not the ladies, but um, that's where they work

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Speaker 1: on like the electrical polls and stuff like that. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't many women that um that had that position. So

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Speaker 1: my mom was toughest rocks, That's why I get it

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Speaker 1: from But pretty were you always been solid? I mean

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Speaker 1: I tried, but you know, I'm a softie sometimes. But

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Speaker 1: I had to go through um like the government to

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Speaker 1: get all the paperwork done, the schedule, like you know,

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Speaker 1: the funeral and stuff like that for like the paperwork

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Speaker 1: and all of that. Um, So it was it was

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Speaker 1: like I had to do what I had to do.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't even really have time to really grieve.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't really And I'm glad you said that

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Speaker 1: because So how old were you when your mom passed away? Oh?

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Speaker 1: You was young? So in my grandma passed away, I

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Speaker 1: was twenty nine, and I didn't I never experienced anybody

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Speaker 1: transitional transitioning before. And like you said, like I really

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Speaker 1: didn't have time to grieve, So I was just showing

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Speaker 1: face until I finally like broke down when I saw

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Speaker 1: this lady and um her grandkids one day. So how

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Speaker 1: were you able to cope with everything? You know? The

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Speaker 1: crazy part is And and that's why I'm glad that

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Speaker 1: you gave me this platform because a lot of people

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Speaker 1: deal with loss differently. For me, I like I packed

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Speaker 1: up the house, I moved down to l A because

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Speaker 1: that was gonna always be my original plan from the

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Speaker 1: day area. Um I moved down to l A. UM,

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Speaker 1: I got me and my sister set up, and I

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Speaker 1: just like I hit the ground running. I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: this one I'm gonna do. I work in the film industry. Um.

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Speaker 1: I got a little reception job, which, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: the clocking in I can't do. Literally just talking about that.

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Speaker 1: I don't like I had a little reception job. I'll

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Speaker 1: be done with all my tasks by leven. I get

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Speaker 1: to work at nine, I'm done at eleven. So I'm

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Speaker 1: just like doing nothing. So I just started like researching

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Speaker 1: and doing my own you know, own research and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. But I was like, I started working work

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Speaker 1: and work and work and work and work and working, working,

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Speaker 1: work and work and work and work and work and

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Speaker 1: working to the point of where I put myself in

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Speaker 1: the hospital twice because yeah, I wasn't I wasn't stopping.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know how to stop because I just had

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Speaker 1: to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think about it,

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Speaker 1: so I wouldn't you know, at home, And um, I

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Speaker 1: think I think it was before before I moved to

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Speaker 1: l A. And after I moved to l A, I

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Speaker 1: attempted suicide twice, and it was like it was a

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Speaker 1: really really dark point in my life after that. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I tell I'm so happy we're having this conversation because

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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people can't relate to

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Speaker 1: this until unfortunately they lose a parent or one that's

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Speaker 1: like their caretaker. Because I remember my and it's so

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Speaker 1: funny because today's my grandmother's birthday, so she would have

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Speaker 1: been I know, she would have been eighty one today.

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Speaker 1: But it's so funny because when I lost my grandmother,

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Speaker 1: like I didn't know, Like I didn't go about to

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Speaker 1: go fucking crazy, like my hair fell out, I went

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Speaker 1: through depression, like my skin broke out like crazy, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going on with me. Mm hm.

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Speaker 1: So I'm glad that we have this conversation you're and

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Speaker 1: you're being open about it, because I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of people need to hear stuff like this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they do, because a lot of stuff it affects your mind,

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Speaker 1: and your mind affects your everyday life, and your everyday life,

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Speaker 1: you know, affects where you go with the next step.

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Speaker 1: So like when they say like, um, like stress and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that, it does take a toll on your health.

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Speaker 1: Like I didn't even know until recently one of my

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Speaker 1: um when I was working on set, one of my

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Speaker 1: coworkers he had it. I looked like a stroke. I

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Speaker 1: forgot the actual terminology for the name for it, but

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Speaker 1: it looks like you know when somebody has a stroke

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Speaker 1: and like one side of their body like droop. He

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Speaker 1: didn't have to see it's a name for it. I

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Speaker 1: cannot think in the name of it. But it's caused

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Speaker 1: by stress. And the whole left side of his face

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Speaker 1: was drooped as if he had a stroke, but it

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Speaker 1: was caused by stress and it goes away. But it

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Speaker 1: just depends on the level of stress that you've put

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Speaker 1: on your body and determines how long is there Like

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Speaker 1: something is a week, some is a month, some is years,

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Speaker 1: and it's all caused by stress. And it's like for

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Speaker 1: that kind of situation. Like in my church, they had

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Speaker 1: like a grief and lost workshop. UM So I was

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Speaker 1: pretty excited about that because it's it's different when you

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Speaker 1: can talk to people that can relate, not saying people

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Speaker 1: don't understand, but a lot of people sometimes don't understand,

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Speaker 1: and people like during that time, everybody's like, oh, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: you know, are you okay that? No, I'm not okay,

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Speaker 1: so stop asking me. Not church because it's side, but

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Speaker 1: i'm helm and they don't judge me to mend platform.

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Speaker 1: But like I'm like, stop asking me that. No, I'm

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Speaker 1: not okay, so stop asking me that. So it was

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Speaker 1: like a breath of fresh air too to go to that.

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Speaker 1: So I was doing well. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was, you know, taking the day by day. I

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Speaker 1: was going through the necessary steps. I had to first

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Speaker 1: lose the anger, which is important, which is important because

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Speaker 1: it's like different steps. It's like the first one is

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Speaker 1: like denial because you don't believe it happened, and then

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Speaker 1: the next the next stage is like anger or you're

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Speaker 1: trying to point the finger, whether it's at yourself, like

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Speaker 1: what you could have done different, or if you you

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Speaker 1: blaming somebody else or whatever whatever. And I think that's

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Speaker 1: the difficult stage to get over, especially if you go

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Speaker 1: through the stage where you blame me yourself. Right. Um,

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Speaker 1: Like I was there literally to her last breath. That's

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Speaker 1: when I know, That's when I knew God was real.

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Speaker 1: When she was taking her last breath, because she looked

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Speaker 1: at me and her eyes like they went away. I

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Speaker 1: can't explain it, but they're like they went away, but

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Speaker 1: then they came back, and I was like, there's another side.

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Speaker 1: And I was like I was there literally to her

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Speaker 1: last breath. So I don't blame you know myself. I

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Speaker 1: blamed for me. My anger was towards the doctors that

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Speaker 1: could have called it when she went for the pain,

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Speaker 1: you know, the first three times. But after that, Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm just I feel like I'm rambling, but I went on.

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Speaker 1: I mean, is so important because, like I'm telling you,

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Speaker 1: like I didn't have anybody to talk to about the

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Speaker 1: things that I was going through when I lost my grandmother,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm just now starting to be okay with it,

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Speaker 1: mm hmm. And that's why she passed up three years ago. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's you'll you'll never get over. And that's why I like,

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Speaker 1: nobody should ever tell you how long you know you

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Speaker 1: should be over by now or you know, everybody, it's

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Speaker 1: not gonna it always don't feel like it happened yesterday,

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Speaker 1: especially if you were there to the last minute like me,

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Speaker 1: Like I tried to shift my my memories to the

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Speaker 1: way she was before she got sick, because I have that,

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Speaker 1: I still have that last her dying moment, you know,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, and trying not to think about that. But

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Speaker 1: finding people that can relate it does help, you know,

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Speaker 1: it does. It helps a lot. And even like therapy

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Speaker 1: like I had, I went into UM well and that

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Speaker 1: was after my my actually my grief and lost workshop

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Speaker 1: the creator she had UM I think she wasn't a

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Speaker 1: mission like twice and like she had lost a lot

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Speaker 1: of people, but she always had a smile, she was

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Speaker 1: always positive, and I was like, how does she How

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Speaker 1: she did strong? And I had like we had got

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Speaker 1: really really really close. And then probably like six months later,

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Speaker 1: she got it came back, her cancer came back, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, here we go again, Here we go again.

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Speaker 1: I still wasn't. I still didn't get to the point

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Speaker 1: where I released everything. I didn't to be honest, I

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Speaker 1: didn't really release and didn't really hit me until probably

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Speaker 1: two years ago that my mom had passed. Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: And also another reason why I want to pinpoint this

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Speaker 1: because you are doing so well in your life right now,

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Speaker 1: so I wanted to show show people that you know,

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Speaker 1: even doing our darkest times that we can prevail resilient,

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Speaker 1: you know you. Um, I think what what my shift was? Um,

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Speaker 1: Like I knew like I took a path that I

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Speaker 1: wasn't proud of. Um when I just was, I was angry.

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Speaker 1: I don't care. Um, I was just like whatever, yeah, whatever.

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Speaker 1: But I remembered that like how hard my mom worked,

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Speaker 1: how unless she sacrificed she was a single mom, Like

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Speaker 1: how much she sacrificed for us. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I can't be they're doing this. What are we gonna

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Speaker 1: talk about? Yeah, because I took the same path too,

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Speaker 1: so I'm not sure a little story too, so I

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Speaker 1: can definitely relate to you. Um, So it switch scares

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Speaker 1: a little bit. UM. Growing up, I always looked at

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Speaker 1: you as being extremely confident. Like I always felt like

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Speaker 1: you was very confident and you're a beautiful woman. I

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Speaker 1: was gonna say, but you're a woman now. So you

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Speaker 1: know when you told me that something that you struggle

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Speaker 1: with your self esteem, I was like wow, because I

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Speaker 1: would have never took that from you. So what were

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Speaker 1: some of the things that you struggle with? It was

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Speaker 1: definitely self esteem. Um, it was because I think because

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Speaker 1: the pressure of so many people like looking up to me,

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Speaker 1: and then also the pressure of I had to be

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Speaker 1: strong after taking care of you know, I had to

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Speaker 1: take care of my business. I did to take care

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Speaker 1: of everything after my mom passed. So it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like I wouldn't say I had to grow up because

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Speaker 1: I've always been mature and wise for my age. But

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Speaker 1: it was a time where like I was sitting and

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Speaker 1: be like, Okay, well I'm not you know, perfect, but like,

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Speaker 1: you know, certain things could be going better in my life.

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Speaker 1: It was like after that, it was just like hit

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Speaker 1: hit hit, hit hit, and I'm like, okay, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: good on the hits. Now. Yeah, I wouldn't pick at

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Speaker 1: myself and be like, okay, well, why is what's causing

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Speaker 1: all this? What am I doing wrong to be, you know,

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Speaker 1: doing all of this? Like to beginning asking God, I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 1: what the would I do? But I'm like the assholes

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Speaker 1: out here that's step of prevailing and I'm over here

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Speaker 1: getting hit after hit after hit after But then I realized,

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Speaker 1: like I'm getting all these hits because I'm strong enough

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Speaker 1: to bounce back, and some people can't bounce back. Some people,

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Speaker 1: you know, take a different path for me, like the

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Speaker 1: self esteem. I don't want to say, like I was

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Speaker 1: searching for validation because you know, opinions don't cut check

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Speaker 1: so I could care less what people think. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what kind of void there

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Speaker 1: was like trying to feel I don't know, but like

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Speaker 1: I just really wasn't Like I mean, you know, I

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Speaker 1: knew I was attractive, I knew, you know, I was

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Speaker 1: very talented and stuff like that, but I still wasn't

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Speaker 1: there where I believe in myself right, So like you

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Speaker 1: douge yourself because I done it myself too. Yeah, especially

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Speaker 1: especially during my career, you know, change from publicity to

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Speaker 1: production and now culinary arts. So it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, I don't want it to be like

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I want to do with my

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Speaker 1: life or do I really know what I want to

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Speaker 1: do in my life? You know, like what is one?

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Speaker 1: Am I really talented? And like I've switched careers twice already.

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Speaker 1: This was before you know, I started doing private and

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Speaker 1: I was like, what what is it? What am I

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Speaker 1: supposed to be doing? Am I not talented enough? Like?

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Speaker 1: Why is this not working out? Especially what you're making

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Speaker 1: that move to l A. I can only imagine you're

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Speaker 1: comparing yourself to people. Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, And

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Speaker 1: then you know the crazy part being here now, like

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00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,439
Speaker 1: it's the people that move here that make l A

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Speaker 1: like this superficial city. And it's not even like that,

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Speaker 1: because I met some cool people that are born and

305
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,600
Speaker 1: raised here and they say, it's the people that come

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Speaker 1: in the city and I gotta have this slashiness and

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Speaker 1: got it all together in thiss and other and trust me,

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Speaker 1: these folks out here is worse. Right But on on Instagram, man,

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Speaker 1: the how to study plopping, Yeah, that's not in real life,

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Speaker 1: not in real life, because you're saying you was, like

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Speaker 1: you feel like the reason why you didn't have a lot,

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Speaker 1: so and so you being focus a lot of things

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Speaker 1: we interfere with with your focus or your main goal.

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Speaker 1: Oh um, I think because the whole comparison to um

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Speaker 1: to other people, and like, I don't know, I don't

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Speaker 1: think like like some people. You know, it's given to

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Speaker 1: like I didn't have a lot. When it comes to

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Speaker 1: is given to people, I can definite agree with you

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Speaker 1: it is. And you know, I don't want nothing given

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Speaker 1: to me because it's either given to you and you

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Speaker 1: know people don't know that, people not prepared for it,

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00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:34,120
Speaker 1: or it's you know, it's given to you. But then

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Speaker 1: you got the older person. M m. They're gonna always

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00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,480
Speaker 1: and like that's a lot like the way people operate

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Speaker 1: out here. Not all of them. Some people do like, well,

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Speaker 1: like you know, I hood you up with this, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm appreciative and I'm grateful, but you're not gonna hang

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Speaker 1: it over my head. So you're like, you if you're

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Speaker 1: gonna do something, do it because you wanted to do it,

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Speaker 1: not because you're trying to get something in return, right,

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Speaker 1: So like, go ahead, now, I was saying, what were

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00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,240
Speaker 1: some of those life trials that she was talking about?

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00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:12,399
Speaker 1: Oh um, um, you're talking about you talking about the

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00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,679
Speaker 1: whole sugar daddy thing. But I was gonna be the

335
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 1: next question. But the reason why I'm happy that you're

336
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 1: you're open to discustiness because like when my grandmother passed away,

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00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 1: I don't have family, Like I don't have a really

338
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: closely sure my friend, Like my grandmother was my family.

339
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 1: So when she passed away, all I had was myself

340
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 1: and like my back was damn. They're in the Wall.

341
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 1: So I had a sugar daddy before. I never had

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Speaker 1: sex with him and anything. But when I tell you,

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Speaker 1: he couldn't have came in a better time in my

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Speaker 1: life because he really helped me out in a certain situations.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like when people think of like sugar

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Speaker 1: daddies or I don't even call him a sugar dad.

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00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,239
Speaker 1: I would say he was a friend. But I think

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00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,119
Speaker 1: that sometimes people put like negative connotations with certain things,

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00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,479
Speaker 1: not even knowing the whole entire story because it's what

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00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 1: they exactly. So I can only imagine you being out

351
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,439
Speaker 1: in l A and you being by your I mean,

352
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 1: you have your sister, but you being by yourself. Yeah,

353
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 1: well we And that was another thing, Like my sister

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00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 1: and I haven't talked um in the past four years,

355
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 1: which I'm not proud of. But um, that's something that she,

356
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,480
Speaker 1: you know, she has to tap into first before we

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00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 1: can move forward. But UM, yeah, I don't. I didn't

358
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 1: during that time. I wasn't really Um, we've dealt with

359
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: the now, so I don't mind mentioning it. Um, during

360
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 1: that time, I had sent money when my mom was

361
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Speaker 1: in hospice. I had sent money to one of my

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Speaker 1: cousins to come out here to for him and my

363
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 1: my aunt to come out and see my mom before

364
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:47,360
Speaker 1: she had passed, and they took my money mm hmm

365
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 1: and didn't come. Oh wow. So when it like all

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00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 1: of like all of those little bit things have like

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00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 1: piled up there a little big thing. It's not a

368
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 1: little it's not a little bit of thing, but I

369
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 1: say a list of things, and it started to pad

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Speaker 1: up and I just got to the point of where

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Speaker 1: I I had. Um, I became a savage, like a

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Speaker 1: straight savage. And when I say savage, like not caring

373
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Speaker 1: about other people's feelings, like I was relating certain one

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Speaker 1: or two situations and putting it and labelizing like everybody

375
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Speaker 1: under there, like okay, so you did this to me,

376
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 1: so before you can get me, I'm gonna get you

377
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 1: kind of attitude, which was horrible. But during that time,

378
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 1: it was just whatever, I'm not gonna get hurt again.

379
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 1: I know that much, and I do what I need

380
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 1: to do to survive. And so UM, I did like

381
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: pursue I did like the little sugar sugar baby dot com,

382
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 1: sugar Daddy dot com or whatever, little apps or whatever. Um,

383
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 1: and it was just it was crazy, like crazy It

384
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: was crazy because like the first that I I never

385
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 1: I never even like we didn't even get past the

386
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,160
Speaker 1: computer anyway, because I never saw him. But it would

387
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 1: be like he was like scheduled times and we have

388
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: to like have our Skype call or whatever. And that

389
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: was yeah, that's like Skype. So that was like before FaceTime,

390
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 1: so like Skype calls you gotta be like in front

391
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 1: of computer and they don't have me like do these

392
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,919
Speaker 1: different positions, not neked or anything like that. It was

393
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 1: like to me, like it was like you Vogan kind

394
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 1: of thing craziness. So like like it would be like

395
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: Vogan type thing and it'd be like conversation and stuff

396
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 1: like that. Um. And this this went off for like

397
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: maybe like a month. Huh No, that was the thing.

398
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 1: So I think that was that was yeah, he was yeah, yeah,

399
00:22:55,640 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 1: he was definitely a scammer. Um. But the next one

400
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 1: that I had that um, he was cool. Like he

401
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 1: had he was recently divorced and he just wanted to

402
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: have you know, he wants old. He want to have

403
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: not old, but you know older and just want to

404
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: have a good time and um, we'll just go out,

405
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 1: you know, like movies and stuff like that. And he

406
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 1: would pay me for that. I was alway cool, okay, cool,

407
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 1: you know, And so then I was like doing more

408
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: and more research, like how much the charge for the

409
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 1: hour and stuff like that. I was like, no, this

410
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 1: is easy. No, I mean, you know, this is people job, right,

411
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I kind of felt bad

412
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: because it still not kind of I did feel bad

413
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 1: because like it would just get to the point of

414
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: where like I would just milk it to the point

415
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: of where I would just say whatever. I know that

416
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: they wanted to hear. Absolutely, guys, that girl, I'm talking

417
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,879
Speaker 1: about milk. You know, I just making something. I mean,

418
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 1: I didn't have no money, but I just think I

419
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 1: was like homeless, like anybod. I was like, is not

420
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: playing with me right, don't show me an inch nigger.

421
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: Now exactly, I had like four on my roster, but

422
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 1: we we never we never had sex. When it got

423
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 1: to that point, then I just chopped them off. But

424
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: I still had, you know, three more four more. So

425
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: for it was like always in the lineup. But I knew,

426
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 1: like I wasn't never gonna stoop that low to the

427
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: point of where I was like stooped that low, you know.

428
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: I ain't judging nobody do what you do. I don't

429
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 1: know for you that you was. Yeah, for me, I

430
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna do that. I wasn't I wasn't gonna do that.

431
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna feel right like even I thought it

432
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 1: was just made me feel like dirty. What were some

433
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 1: other choices that you made? And do you feel like

434
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 1: you made these choices of desperation, because like you were

435
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 1: pretty much on your own. Yeah. I think it was

436
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: for the need for like company. I mean I have

437
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 1: friends and stuff like that, but like when you have

438
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 1: like an intimate connection with somebody, it's a little bit more.

439
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 1: It hit different than a friendship, right you know. And um,

440
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 1: I had stopped going to church for a while too,

441
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: because again I was angry. You know, I was angry

442
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: at God. But I grew up in the church. I've

443
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: always been a Christian everything like that. Yeah, I was.

444
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 1: I was pissed for like a good little minute. I

445
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 1: mean I still said my prayers before I ate and

446
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 1: everything like that, but when it came to the one

447
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 1: on one conversations, like I was done. I was done

448
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 1: for that time period. You know. I didn't never curse

449
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: some out in anything like that I just took the

450
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 1: step to the step back because it made you questioning exactly.

451
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 1: And then even during that time, I would just get

452
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: like I don't know if it's still just always resorted

453
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 1: back to guys, but I would just get like random

454
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: guys that I would talk to just because I and

455
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 1: not like you know, I would get them so attached

456
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 1: to me mm hmm, and I would just laugh but like,

457
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: m why do you think he was doing that? I

458
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 1: don't know, just so you know, I could. Honestly, I

459
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: don't know, because during that time I didn't care about

460
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 1: nobody else's feelings because mine had constantly got you know,

461
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: so I would get people so close and then I

462
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: would just shoot on them. Yeah, and I don't know why.

463
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: I honestly don't know why. But during that time I

464
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: also was boxing too, so like, look, it's better, it's

465
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: better to take that, right, It's better to take that

466
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: kind of like I mean I was when I say angry,

467
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 1: I was angry, yeah, and I just I didn't I

468
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: didn't care about nothing and nobody's feelings during that time. Now,

469
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: let's talk about the transition into l A. Because you're

470
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: from Memphis, you moved to l a and you're printing

471
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:04,199
Speaker 1: my follow your dreams. So one thing about you is

472
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 1: you have always been a hustler, like you have been

473
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: in so many different like areas or different fields. How

474
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: was that transition? I knew I wasn't gonna be in

475
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: a Memphis. I like, uh like, and that's what I said,

476
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 1: because ain't nothing in Memphis, man, It's nothing in Memphis.

477
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: They're not building on Memphis. And I think that's another

478
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: reason why people are content with their situation or they

479
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 1: don't like they're not even like seeking anything other than

480
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 1: mephis And like for me, I've always been a dreamer

481
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 1: about my my mama always and still like you're gonna

482
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: do big thing. You know, You're gonna do big things

483
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 1: in the world. You're gonna change lives. And it's that

484
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: nothing like it went so recently where I realized that

485
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: m like everything that she said, because before I was

486
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: like me, no, ain't nobody you know, but you know,

487
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: but I knew that I had a dream. I was adventurous,

488
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: I was real, you know, like a dreamer of creative

489
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,120
Speaker 1: and so I just I just like, look, I'm gonna

490
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: take the leap of faith. And I came on out

491
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: here and um, one of my friends had introduced me.

492
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,239
Speaker 1: Two of my friends introduced me to two who are

493
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 1: now my best friends. UM out here and we you know,

494
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 1: we've been rocking ever since. But when it came to like,

495
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 1: you know, my research that I told you I did,

496
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: um getting into the film industry, UM, I went on

497
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: Craigslist and you know, Craiglist and hit a miss. I

498
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: don't even I ain't even been on Crazylist and like

499
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: years now, and I would never go it's crazy. But

500
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: during that time, like I knew, like I had done

501
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: so much research, and I was like, okay, yeah, p

502
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 1: a position which is a production assistant. I was like, okay,

503
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: that's the position that'll get you in the door. All

504
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 1: I need to do is get in the door. Because

505
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: you know, I'm always preparing myself. I'm always do my

506
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: homework and once I'm in the door, I'm Google. So

507
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: it was like, okay, I needed all right, I need

508
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: to get this position, alright, alright, So I looked on craigslist,

509
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: you know, someone was like one sentence here, some of

510
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: them with some jankie you know. And during that time,

511
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 1: they would hire p a s for like porn out

512
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: here so but they wouldn't say it with porn as

513
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: you get there, um, but for me, I didn't. I

514
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: got yeah, I failed one time in today and I

515
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: was like, oh no, oh no, hell no open well

516
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: not but like you be the person to be like

517
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: putting the oil on, like re positioning now here. No

518
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: hell no, ain't touching none of y'all, nothing, nothing here,

519
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: none of it. But I felt one like where it

520
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: was like a really in depth um like add or whatever.

521
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, somebody took the time to

522
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: type this up, this legit and so um it was

523
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: like a movie with like a whole bunch of a

524
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 1: list celebrities and I was like, oh yeah, this is

525
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: the one. But it was like an internship for a

526
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 1: month and I was like, you know, for free, but um,

527
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: you know it's financially stable after that, after that time

528
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: a little bit, so I was like, okay, let me

529
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 1: go ahead and do it because all I need to

530
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: do is get you know, people right, and um I

531
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: did it. And I was like okay, well, I know

532
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 1: if they see how hard I work not getting paid,

533
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: I know they're gonna refer me for you know, getting paid.

534
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 1: What's the thing. You gotta work for the job you want,

535
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: not the job that you have. I think that's it. Yeah, yeah,

536
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 1: you gotta because it always as long as you gotta plan,

537
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: you know, it's you see, you're playing in God's playing

538
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 1: at the end of the day. But as long as

539
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 1: you're taking the necessary steps, you know, you don't have

540
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: to be right now. And that's another thing I think

541
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: that we do unconsciously or subconsciously. We just look at

542
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: other people's lives and be like, well, how they happened

543
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: for them so fast I've been working forever when it's

544
00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 1: gonna happen for me. I'm reading, But it's like, you

545
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: don't know what that person went through. You don't know

546
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,719
Speaker 1: what they did to get that, whether it was handed

547
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: or if they worked, because you know nowadays just people

548
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: getting handed stuff. But they mean that on mean, that's

549
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: the way you want to take it, because when when

550
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: stuff is given something, most of the times, you know,

551
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: some people want some stuff in return. And then I

552
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: don't have to necessarily be sexual just saying like when

553
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: you you know, say they fall off or they get

554
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: into something else and you come up and then then

555
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: they want to hit you up at the blue asks

556
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: for a favor. You know, it's to be like that

557
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: kind of situation, and sometimes you don't tell how much

558
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: that favor gonna caught a nfe my monetary value exactly exactly.

559
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: So when did you When did you finally get your

560
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: first big break? My first big break was I had

561
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 1: joined this Yahoo group UM, and it was like UM,

562
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: females that support other females in the TV and film industry. Yeah,

563
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: so it was like, UM, like people that have made it,

564
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: like people that work at like all the top networks,

565
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: and they were like, they genuinely want to help upcoming people,

566
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: which is not too many of them. So it's a blessing. Yeah,

567
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: it's it's not too many of those people out here.

568
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: I mean, you might see a lot of these folks

569
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: on these camels and stuff, but they they're not really

570
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: for it if you approach them. I'm sorry, I'm not

571
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: trying to discard the whole Women in Power movement, but honestly,

572
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: into our listeners, like a lot of should be bullshit. Yeah,

573
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 1: it does, because it's for the face. It's for the contents,

574
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: for the checks, for the check and it's for the face.

575
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: That's why I like a lot of That's why I like,

576
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: I keep saying Instagram and smoking mirrors, l A is

577
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: smoking mirrors, Like you gotta genuinely get New York mirrors.

578
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't be surprised a lot of a

579
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 1: lot of these industries of smoking mirror, and like you

580
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: gotta really know the person, get to know them before

581
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 1: you start following what they do on Instagram or they

582
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 1: life for even admiration period because we all got stuff

583
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: going on, but a lot of this stuff it don't be.

584
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: It don't be what it is, and people be basing

585
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: their lives on that, and it's like you you can't.

586
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: You gotta stay in yo lane, stay yo mirror because

587
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 1: it's easy to get sidetracked. And what was that well

588
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: I was getting on but no, it's just so true

589
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: because even like perfect example, and this is a topic,

590
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 1: but I really want the listeners to know to be

591
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: careful who they are invest in because prime example, like

592
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: I'm trying to grow, like the podcast for the podcast

593
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: is growing, but I want to also grow my beauty company,

594
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 1: and so with certain girls, like I don't like I

595
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 1: call it sucking sucking people dick because I feel like,

596
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: excuse my language, but it's true, yes, man, Yeah, because

597
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 1: I feel like in the moment, you become vulnerable and

598
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: you'd be like, yo, you know, I really appreciate what

599
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: you're doing. I would love to take a moment like

600
00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: and I don't mind taking somebody at the coffee, taking

601
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: some I have to drink or drink or have dinner whatever,

602
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: because at that moment, I'm taking you away from the

603
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: things that make you money. Right. And So I had

604
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 1: a situation with this girl, really known girl in New

605
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: York whatever, and um like she's known whatever. And I

606
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: was like, and we had a mutual friends, So my

607
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: mut you a friend and he's like really good friends

608
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: with both of us. And he was just like, oh

609
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: my god. Hit up the girl. She's waiting for you

610
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: to contact her. She would love to go out, go

611
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 1: out with your meat for you and all this other stuff.

612
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,360
Speaker 1: So I'm like super excited because the girl's making moves

613
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:33,359
Speaker 1: like she's doing her things. I hit her up, like hey,

614
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: you know, and for me, I'm just like, you know,

615
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: for myself, I all love matters. So I was like, no,

616
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 1: find you a little sperious, like how are you you know,

617
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: I'm trying to like asking how her days going. I

618
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:42,879
Speaker 1: was like, you know, when if you get a moment,

619
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: I would love to take you out for dinner or

620
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 1: lunch whatever were your schaledu um allowed for us to like,

621
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,879
Speaker 1: you know, have my mom because I'm looking for it's

622
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 1: like me or you know that canna be able to

623
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: like you can be a mental in me, or I

624
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 1: can get downside ideas off of you, and also like

625
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 1: just form a really real relationship. She came back and

626
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: told me and the M d M you need to

627
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: be quickly to know what you want to say, like

628
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,439
Speaker 1: what do you want me to do? Then I'm not wait,

629
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 1: well no, lie, And I was so like, I mean,

630
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: I wasn't a shocked because I know how bitches give

631
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: it up, but it's just like, damn, like you can't

632
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: even be nice to people these days. And then they

633
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: completely turned me off. Then she told I'll mutual a friend.

634
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 1: You know, nobody has time for all this small talk,

635
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 1: like she needs to get straight. I'm like, if that's

636
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 1: not small talk, like I'm really asking you about you

637
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: that because if I didn't ask you about you that

638
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 1: I would have been rude. Yeah, well, I mean I

639
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: think and I'm not taking up for and I get

640
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 1: what you're saying, but I've realized that now, especially in

641
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: the position that I am, because I mean, I've always

642
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 1: been humble, I will always be humble, and I don't

643
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,359
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't look at people in a different light,

644
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 1: like them trying to use me or take advantage of

645
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 1: anything like that. I try to give people the benefit

646
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: of the doubt. But when you get in a certain position,

647
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: you unfortunately I'm not saying, you know, be an asshole.

648
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 1: Don't do that at all, but you do have to

649
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 1: be cautious because people are gonna be coming out of

650
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: wool work left and right. And I agree, you know

651
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: what I'm saying that when you like, when you get

652
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 1: it all the time, you got to feel the people

653
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 1: the person out Now, I'm not saying her approach was

654
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 1: right and I'm not saying it was wrong, um, but

655
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: you gotta you do have to be cautious of the

656
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: people that approach you and how they approach you. Like

657
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 1: for me, I don't mind giving advice. I don't mind

658
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 1: talking to people about, you know, advice on the TV

659
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: or film industry or in the culinary industry. I don't

660
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: mind doing it. But if you're hitting me up constantly

661
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,919
Speaker 1: asking me for stuff, and you haven't let me know

662
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: what it is that you've done. Like, you know, I

663
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,439
Speaker 1: don't mind helping people that is trying to help them,

664
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: you know themselves, they you know, because you just need

665
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: that push or you just need that, you know, that

666
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 1: step in the door. I don't mind giving that. But

667
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: to me, you gotta show me that you wanted and

668
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 1: that's been like, that's showing me that you tried you

669
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: know this that the other avenue you allow me to

670
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: show you that I want it because you told your

671
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 1: friend one thing and may it seem like you were

672
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: old geek and excited to meet me because you already

673
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: knew everything that I I was doing. And then when I

674
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 1: finally reached out to you, you want to be a

675
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: bit and that wasn't cool, especially your friends. Even that's

676
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:16,439
Speaker 1: told my friend he was like, well, wait what, that's

677
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: not what she told me. And I'm like I showed

678
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 1: that the d MS and everything, and he couldn't believe it.

679
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So I really do agree with the whole

680
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,479
Speaker 1: because I feel like now we have this whole wave

681
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 1: of like girls supporting girls, women empowerment, and I feel

682
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 1: like a lot of that ship is just bullshit. It

683
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 1: depends on the person. But because it's a couple of

684
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: people that I know that too. I'm not naming no names,

685
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 1: but it's it's a lot of people that I know

686
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: that's um yeah that yeah, yeah, yeah. Not saying that

687
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: I'm friends and or associates I work, because you've seen

688
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 1: so many people like you know, I have no problem

689
00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: saying like yo, when I look at you and I

690
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 1: saw your pay I went through your page and stuff.

691
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 1: But when on Facebook and I was like yo, like

692
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: you're really doing anything like that's to me that's fired.

693
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: So it's like I love getting people their flowers and

694
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 1: letting people know like yo that It expires me because

695
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 1: it makes me want to go hard because that left

696
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: me know that a person that looks like me, It

697
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 1: makes it even easier for me to even go even

698
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: more harder because I know it's achievable. So it just

699
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: sucks when you see these girls that really be spending

700
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: their last on these other girls and they don't. They're

701
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 1: not they're not supportive like that, or they're not they

702
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 1: they bullshit and they're sad. But anyhow, so yeah, so

703
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: you said my my big break, Yes, when did you

704
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: finally get your first big break, but it's not. But

705
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: we um I had saw that the Yahoo group I

706
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 1: had UM I had knew the positions of the people

707
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: that hire the p A s. So that's like the

708
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 1: first A D or the second a D or the

709
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: second second and so um I had my I had

710
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: my car out here, and I heard that Think like

711
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,280
Speaker 1: a Man too in Vegas was actually about to start filming.

712
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 1: And so I had did my research, did my research.

713
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: I found out one of the eight, one of the

714
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: three E D s that was gonna be working on that.

715
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: And so I went in the group, I said that

716
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: was not Actually I've been in the group for probably

717
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: like almost a year. I ain't said nothing in there

718
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 1: at all. So I just took a leap of faith

719
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: and I said, all right, I'm gonna ask to see

720
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: if anybody in here notice person low and behold. Somebody

721
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 1: emailed me and she works she worked at one of

722
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: the top networks, and she was like, yeah, I saw

723
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: and I was about to work on that. Telling that,

724
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,399
Speaker 1: um you know that I m was to this day.

725
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: I need to hit her up because she has no

726
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: idea I'm gonna hit her. She's gonna be like, who

727
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: is this lady? But she like she was like, yeah,

728
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: I'm tell him that you know me? Um this then

729
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: the other. So I hit him up and he was like, well,

730
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: we already hired, but I could get you like three

731
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: days out of the week or whatever. And I was like,

732
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: bet I'm there and this was paid. So I didn't

733
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 1: know any aboudy in Vegas. I have all the money

734
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: in the world, but I was like, I'm gonna make

735
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:08,359
Speaker 1: it happen. And so what I did was I don't

736
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 1: know who listen to this, but they're probably gonna be like,

737
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:14,439
Speaker 1: oh my goodness. But what I did was I drove

738
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 1: my car to Vegas, which is only like I think,

739
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,239
Speaker 1: like two hours from from l A. It's not that

740
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:25,240
Speaker 1: far at all. M hm and um, I uh before

741
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: before before my Godmama had told me about her sister's

742
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: family that was in Vegas for like two weeks. I was,

743
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 1: I was staying in my car. But what I would

744
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 1: do is, um, that's long time about Listen. If y'a

745
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: don't feel inspired by my girl's story, I don't know.

746
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: I don't know to tell you thank you. So that's

747
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. Man. Yeah, somebody needs to hear

748
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 1: this story. I'm telling you because you gotta you look

749
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: you want it, you gotta do it. It might not

750
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,800
Speaker 1: be pretty, you know long this is not just degrade

751
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: and a disrespectful do what you need to do, like

752
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 1: do your homework, do your research, and do what you

753
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 1: need to do. And what I would do is I

754
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: like I would go but my little three days. Other

755
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: days i'd be a tourist that I you know, that

756
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 1: wasn't work, and I'd be a tourist. But then the

757
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: other days what I would do was, um, before I

758
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 1: figured out how like the trailers and stuff work likes

759
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: and like I would um, I would leave h and

760
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 1: then I would come back like probably like two or

761
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 1: three hours later when I know everybody's like wrapped out

762
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: and everything. And I would sleep in the trailers. I

763
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 1: was sleeping in the in the trailers, and um, the

764
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: water like the water has to be connected or whatever,

765
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 1: so I couldn't use that on that end. But I

766
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: would go into, um, Caesar's palace, That's what we was filming.

767
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to Caesar's Palace. And I would do like

768
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:56,399
Speaker 1: you know a little lady, little bird wash a little

769
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: hole bath and then I would go sleep in the trailers,

770
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: but I would send my alarmed like an hour and

771
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 1: a half and two hours before um the first call time,

772
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: so I could go on and be gone and then

773
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 1: act like I'm just coming to work. Um. So I

774
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,399
Speaker 1: did that for like two weeks straight. And um. Then

775
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: that's when my god mom told me, like I told her,

776
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, that was fun out here. But

777
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: she already you know, she already knows. She's like, well,

778
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 1: you know, I'm mag I'm like, no, what are you staying?

779
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:29,240
Speaker 1: I said in my call, And she's like what. But yeah,

780
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 1: So she had us with the family out there and

781
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: they let me stay the remaining another three months that

782
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: I was out there, and um, I had met Will

783
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 1: Packer and um, like I was like, I was like,

784
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 1: I lost twenty seven pounds in that shop. It was

785
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 1: like ninety five degrees every day, even at two o'clock

786
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 1: in the morning because and I plus, I was like,

787
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: I was booking it wherever I needed to be on set.

788
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 1: I'm there, and what can I do, like, you know,

789
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,760
Speaker 1: other make sure I meet the you know who's who's

790
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 1: asking questions about the different departments like everything, and um, yeah,

791
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 1: Will brought me onto his his next movie, which was

792
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: The Wedding Ringer, which was like that following year, and

793
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: then UM, I just kept getting referred here and there,

794
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 1: and then I went to the JANEA version, and then

795
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,720
Speaker 1: I did um a couple more movies like Jungle Book

796
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,360
Speaker 1: and yeah that's what you was. I was like, what

797
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: are you doing? Yeah? Yeah, it's it's a really close

798
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: knit industry and like you don't send in resumes. It's

799
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: all all your jobs. So how did you make the

800
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 1: transition from PR to cooking? So from PR, when I

801
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: did PR for like a year and a half, which

802
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 1: was cool, you know, the events, the limelight, you know.

803
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 1: Just then I was still young and I had energy

804
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: and so I could do like the red carps and

805
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: stuff at nighttime, you know, club to three fold five

806
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: times a week, you know, for events and stuff like that.

807
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: That was cool, but I didn't feel like I was

808
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: being creative, and so that's when I started getting into

809
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: the TV and film without you know, which now I

810
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,800
Speaker 1: know how to I could start a show, whether it's reality,

811
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: whether it's a film, whether it's short film or this's

812
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 1: scripted whatever, I could started from start to finish because

813
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 1: I had now had that experience. But what's crazy was

814
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,919
Speaker 1: it took me going back to my mom. It took

815
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: me for like five or six years to start like

816
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: getting rid of some of her stuff, like I kept everything,

817
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 1: like I kept everything I have storage, and then what

818
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 1: couldn't fit in my apartment I had in the storage.

819
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 1: And that was something that we always like enjoyed together,

820
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: like growing up was cooking, like everybody from school, y'all know,

821
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make the best sweet tea that let me

822
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: and the wings like everything. So that was something that

823
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 1: we shared. And I had opened up a box and

824
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: I found like all her recipes and like her handwritten

825
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: recipes books everything, and that's and that was during the

826
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: time where I was like, what is my purpose in life? God?

827
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to be doing? And that was

828
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: just when I found that, and I was like, you

829
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 1: know what, every time somebody asked me to cook something like,

830
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,840
Speaker 1: I'd be excited. I was like, maybe this is what

831
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be doing. And so I um at

832
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 1: that time, I was on Jane version and I was

833
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,839
Speaker 1: they let me have Monday's off, so for one day

834
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 1: a week, for twenty seven weeks, I was in culinary

835
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 1: school and it was like the fast you know, the

836
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: fast paced program. Because I went to empty issue. I'm like,

837
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 1: I ain't going to another four year I'm not doing that.

838
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,439
Speaker 1: So they had a fast break, you know, a fast

839
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: paced program, and UM, I absolutely fell in love love

840
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: with it and it was Um it's still I'm still

841
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 1: building on the confidence level when I still because right

842
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 1: like now I'm Gucci. You can give me anything, and

843
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna make it happen. But yeah, I was

844
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 1: looking at your pictures. I was like, okay, girl, who

845
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,760
Speaker 1: are you saying? Who are some of the biggest celebrities

846
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: you cook for? Um for Tracy Ellis, Ross, Anthony Anderson,

847
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lewis. Um I just saw Lawrenz Tate, Yeah, Lawns Tate. Um,

848
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 1: Gina Rodriguez. Um, you did Blackish? Yeah, black everybody on Blackish. Basically,

849
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 1: even to this day, I still do a lot of

850
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: day events, which I'm grateful for. Um, It's it's just

851
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: it it's so many, It's so many. But I'm like,

852
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: I'm so um too more questions. Um. One of the

853
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 1: things that I always tell people is when people don't

854
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 1: know what they want to do, they just need to

855
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 1: keep throwing shoop against the wall until something sticks. And

856
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: I feel like you're the perfect example of that. Um,

857
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 1: why did you feel like you never gave up on yourself?

858
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 1: Because I feel like you, like I said, you had

859
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:58,720
Speaker 1: a lot of different jobs. Yeah, I was a little Jamaican.

860
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 1: So why do you think you never get up yourself,

861
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 1: especially being by yourself in the l A Because my mom, Like,

862
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 1: that's that's what I had, you know, that's what I

863
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 1: held onto. Like I'm still coping, but I know, like

864
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 1: she she told me that I was gonna do some

865
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: great things and I was gonna change people's lives, like

866
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: she always said that to me. And I was like, oh,

867
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 1: I just gotta figure out what it is that I'm

868
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: what's gonna make me you know what job it is

869
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: I'm I'm supposed to be doing. That's going to be

870
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: you know, changing people lives and making a difference. And

871
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: I was just like, I can't I can't not be great, right,

872
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 1: Like everything she sacrificed, everything she instilled to me, everything

873
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 1: I've been through, I cannot not be great right. So,

874
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 1: like failing was not an option, you know, figuring it out,

875
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 1: you know, it's still life. I'm still human, but I

876
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 1: always kept a tone of vision regardless of you know,

877
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: and I'll drive through them speed bumps. But I never

878
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 1: lost focus because I know that I'm destined for greatness

879
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,280
Speaker 1: and like my mama said, I'm gonna change people lives

880
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 1: and right, one play to the time, one play to

881
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: the time, And like, I think what really hit home

882
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 1: was was when I started my wing company. I had

883
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 1: a client um the order for me like every weekend,

884
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: and the first time she ordered for me, she had

885
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 1: ordered to play to whatever. She was real shy, real

886
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 1: timid or whatever. And then she text me and she

887
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. I was like, what what girl?

888
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,359
Speaker 1: She was like, she was like, this food was so good.

889
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 1: She was like, you have no idea. She was like,

890
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: I had a miscarriage two weeks ago and this is

891
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 1: my first real meal. And she was like I just

892
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: literally started crying because I felt the love in this

893
00:48:53,120 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: food and that just threw me over BOYD. I was like, Nah,

894
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: that's really good man. Moments like that I love. Throughout

895
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 1: your journey. What would you say is one of the

896
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: biggest lessons you game that you want our listeners to

897
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: take from the biggest lesson is trust yourself hmm. Will

898
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: trust God first always, And that's one thing Like I

899
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,360
Speaker 1: veered off from that, and I you know, I wouldn't

900
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: say I lost faith, but I did, you know, I

901
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 1: did veer away from God. So I always keep God

902
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 1: first and every single thing. Because the things and opportunities

903
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: that we get and received, they're not for us there

904
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 1: to bless other people. M m. And if you veer off,

905
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 1: then you're messing up you know, some blessings along the way.

906
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: It's a domino effect. And plus you know you can't

907
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 1: you can't um, you can't beer off because you're destined

908
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: for greatness. So you gotta you know, tighten up, yeah up,

909
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 1: whatever you need to do, do your homework. Make you

910
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 1: a target list or target list is like people that

911
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 1: you admired if you want to work with and accidentally

912
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 1: on purpose, show up at an event and be prepared

913
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 1: and ready and let them know what you have to

914
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 1: offer and just make it happen because you gotta have

915
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,239
Speaker 1: a village. You gotta have a strong team in order

916
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:22,839
Speaker 1: to move forward. Right. Well, I just want to say

917
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 1: thank you so much for taking the time out of

918
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,799
Speaker 1: being a part of the PhD podcast. I mean, I

919
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 1: feel like your story has definitely expired me and the

920
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: things that I want to do. Something I know for

921
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: a fact it's gonna inspire other people. UM, if you

922
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 1: have any questions or concerns or comments, please email me

923
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,959
Speaker 1: at hello at the Professional home Guard dot com and

924
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: until next time dies later later. I like that