WEBVTT - Ep. 4 — Sit down somewhere Damon Wayans 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.200 Brod Ambition Episode four. Hey, hey, hey, it's Tiffany. 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:13.200 And it's Mandy. Welcome back. I can't move you back? 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:16.320 Well are they? We don't really know. We're taking these 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:18.200 all in advance, so we have no idea who's going 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:18.960 to listen to these. 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:20.919 They're back. I could feel you, I could feel you. 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:24.360 In the future. We're cautiously optimistic that there'll be people 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:27.560 listening to this. But yeah, thank you, and let's start 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:28.040 the show. 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:31.000 Yes, let's get right into what is buzzworthy. 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:33.240 What's buzzing. I don't know if this is like old 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:36.400 news or not, but apparently Damon Wayne's like this has 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.320 been came on some radio show and was saying the 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:42.240 most offensive things trying to defend Bill Cosby. I got 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:44.120 to read you, guys, these quotes that Damon said, and I. 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:45.800 Was just telling Maddy, Oh, he's kind of fine, and. 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:49.159 I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm retracting that he's not 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:51.560 that fine. He's not fine because here's what he says 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.680 about Cosby and these women after forty years, these women 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:56.800 having the courage to come forward and finally speak up 0:00:56.800 --> 0:01:00.320 for themselves. And this is what Damon Wayne says, big 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:03.040 is Bill Cosby's penis that it gives you amnesia for 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:06.479 forty years. If you listen to them talk, they go, well, 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:08.800 the first time, the first time, how many times did 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:11.240 it happen? Just listen to what they're saying. And some 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:14.000 of them are really unrapable. You just look at them 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:17.800 and go, you don't want that. Get out of here. Unquote. Wow, 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.360 my blood is boiling. This is like, this is what 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:25.319 happens when someone is so I don't know. Maybe he 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:26.160 was just trying to be funny. 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:29.960 Yeah, because he's supposedly, in quotes, a comedian, uh huh, 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:31.800 And so maybe he was trying to be fine because 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.000 I see that he there's some articles about him trying 0:01:34.000 --> 0:01:36.080 to defend himself saying, oh, my words were twisted. 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:37.960 I'm like, really, those words are pretty clear. 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.320 And what other context? Like he's saying, you should have 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:42.520 the full context, But I don't know if we need 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:44.520 the full context for that quote. 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:46.959 Sometimes silence is platinum. 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:50.240 We've said that before. Silence can make you sound smart. Yeah, 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:52.320 you just got to no one to shut up exactly. 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:54.840 But I think that there's been so much I mean, 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:58.280 obviously it's terrible what happened to these women. But did 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:00.400 you see the New York magazine feature where all of 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:02.440 them were on the cover? Yes, they and you know 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:05.200 they did individual features and not all of them wanted 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.400 to have their names and their photos, but the majority 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:09.799 of them did. Yeah, And do you know how rare 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:12.239 it is for rape victims to come forward like that. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:15.240 Especially against someone like as huge as Bill Cosby. He's 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:18.600 an icon, he's a cultural icon, like. You cannot deny that. 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:22.120 Absolutely, and people have such deep emotional connections to him, 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:23.560 and that's why you don't want to believe the worst 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:26.520 of people. But you can't deny evidence when it's staring 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:27.000 you in the face. 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:30.160 Especially when he says himself that he used to in. 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:33.200 His own words, out of his own mouth, people are like, 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:35.880 oh no, I'm like, no, no, he said I have 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:38.280 used drugs to have sex with women. 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:39.880 I mean, I don't know that it gets heady clearer 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:40.200 than that. 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:42.640 Yeah, if you're still defending Bill Cosby, then you are 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.680 not paying attention and you deserve no one's time nor 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:48.440 your attention. So I apologize for just talking about Dame 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:50.560 Wayne's but does that say his name? 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:51.079 Damon? 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:54.959 That's how irrelevant he is. Even how to say his name, 0:02:55.240 --> 0:03:07.160 Damon Wayne Senior. Sorry, Okay. Next on the list of 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:11.120 buzzworthy is another headline that I saw, which talks about 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:15.520 something really interesting is whether college lectures might be unfair 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:19.440 to minorities and people from low income backgrounds. I found 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:21.519 this really fascinating because I guess it's something that I 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.800 take for granted, the fact that I didn't go to 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:25.800 the greatest schools. In fact, I went to three different 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:28.240 high schools and they weren't you know, they were public 0:03:28.320 --> 0:03:32.880 schools in Georgia, and the public education system is fine. 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.000 But I didn't realize how what an advantage it was 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:37.880 that I went to a decent school and I had 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:41.760 a lecture type of environment. Okay, And this article kind 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.840 of talks about research that shown that people of color 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:47.960 who come from maybe not the greatest schools, or people 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.680 from low income backgrounds who tend to grow up in 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:54.839 areas that have less funding for public education, aren't used 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:59.080 to necessarily having this structured lecture listen to this professor 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:01.080 drone on and on on and write notes on a 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:03.840 board and then get quiz on it later. They're not 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:06.520 used to that kind of atmosphere, and they tend to 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:09.760 perform less. They tend to perform that as well, not 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:14.080 as well as white male and typically more privileged students. 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:17.240 They say that active learning courses, that's a new kind 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:19.599 of style of teaching that structure class and out of 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.760 class assignments to make sure that students are actually engaged 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:26.520 with the material. So for example, like instructors would pose 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:29.599 questions about the week's reading and they would ask the 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:32.640 teacher that ask the students to answer the questions online 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:35.160 four grade before they come to class, and that kind 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:37.320 of like greases the wheels and get them thinking about 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:38.040 it beforehand. 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:38.719 I love them. 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:40.760 And those sorts of things that have like more of 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:44.400 a loose structure and get people really talking beforehand can 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:48.520 help people. And I think that's something that instructors should 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:51.880 pay attention to, especially if you have a diverse group 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:52.200 of people. 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:53.560 You know, I used to be a teacher for like 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:57.240 ten years and we would call it like differentiated learning, okay. 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:01.120 And it's so strange how the older the student gets, 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:05.920 the less people are really concerned with making sure that 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:09.200 learning takes place in an appropriate way. Like when I 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:12.880 taught preschool, that was like paramount that like are you 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:16.479 addressing the auditory learner. Are you is someone like a 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:18.680 child who listens and hears. I literally had a child 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:20.640 that when I spoke to him when I was teaching 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:23.479 him his letters, he had to turn away, basically turning 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.800 off his other senses and just listen. Are you addressing 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.520 the visual learner? Like you know, the vast majority of 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:33.279 people really learn from seeing. But then there's also kinesthetic learners. 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.000 I don't know if you ever watched Aquila and the 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:38.200 Bee where she's jumping rope and doing her ABC. That's 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:42.039 a kinesthetic learner that they have to move as they're learning. 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:44.159 And so like you know, making kids sit in the 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.280 chair and if you're a setic learner, you might need 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:46.800 to clap as. 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:47.520 You send your ABC. 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:49.000 That's one of the reasons why we do that with 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.640 children because every child has kind of like you usually 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:54.039 have one way that you lean toward, and there's like 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:57.960 secondary and like third. So it's crazy that the younger 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.360 the child, the more that's important. Like as a college professor, 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:02.920 they're like, no, we're teaching you in this one way, 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:03.760 take it or leave it. 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.080 And especially when you talk about going into a career 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:08.080 in the working world, if you work for a company. 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.120 I mean, you come into a company and you're one 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.120 of like, I don't know, I'm one of twelve thousand employees. 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:14.400 So if I have a particular way of working, well, sorry, 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.680 there's twelve thousand people here. We can't. This is how 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.680 it's going to be. You have to accliment yourself. So 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.679 that's it for that's worthy. 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:23.599 Yeah, if you have. 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:27.560 Any thanks, If you guys have any buzzworthy links or 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:30.120 headlines or topics you think we should talk about, email 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:39.719 us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.800 We're gonna move on to Brown Break, Brown Break, what 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:43.640 you're gonna do? 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:46.200 I don't know why they came over me. 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:47.920 Get tired of shit? 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:51.960 All right, So a few of my friends they're going 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:54.839 to kill me for this one because a few of them. 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:56.080 I want you to die. 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.120 Oh, they're not going to kill me, all like in 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:02.120 real life, I don't think so I need a brown 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:04.080 break from life coaches. 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:09.320 I'm sorry to say, but there are so many life. 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:14.239 Coaches, but not everyone should be coaching people on their. 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:17.440 On their lives and such a wishy, washy squishy title too. 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:20.320 I'm a life coach. I'll gonna help you better your life. 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:22.520 But how, And then what did you study in college? 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:25.960 And how does how is anyone really even expert at life? Well, 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.520 I'll say this that some of my friends are life coaches, 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:30.960 and they're doing an excellent job. I can see, you know, 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:34.360 the changes they've made in women's lives. But for example, 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:36.720 there's a young woman who reached out to me. She's 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:40.520 all of twenty two, twenty three, okay, and so apparently 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:45.040 she's lived enough life to coach others on life. 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:48.480 Oh so she's wise bondered. Yeah, she's an old soul. 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.840 Yeah, she's been here before, so she's life coaching now. 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.520 And that's what I mean about needing a brown break 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.680 from life coaching because also to what I've seen, which 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:59.760 is really dangerous and unfair, I've seen some life coaches 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:02.720 really take advantage of women because a lot of women 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:04.440 who are going to a life coach, they're in a 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.920 low time, or they've suffered from some sort of like 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:12.680 violence or just depression, and they're looking for help. And 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:16.560 I've seen them be upsold for thousands of dollars for 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:19.880 coaching sessions from people who are really just looking to 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:22.080 make money, not looking to make change. 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:23.920 How much do some of these coaches like. 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.640 I've seen, like honestly, like one on one you can 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:28.880 pay upwards of ten thousand dollars to. 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:31.360 Speak one or Tony Robbins kind of thing. 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:32.880 Yeah, yes, for that kind of thing. 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:36.240 But then like on the lower end five hundred, one thousand, 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:39.280 fifteen hundred, I've seen coaches who are not particularly famous 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:42.240 sell twenty five hundred dollars packages in the back of 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:43.080 the room. 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:45.839 And so, like I said, though not all are bad. 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:48.760 So this is if you are considering any sort of coach, 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:54.760 financial coach, life coach, business coach, whatever. To me, if 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:57.360 your coach that you're considering does not give away a 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:01.679 significant amount of value for free online somewhere or in 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:06.040 person or whatever, then I would reconsider. Yeah, So if 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:07.920 you go to their blog and they don't have some 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:11.240 really great meatia blogs that really help to move you forward, 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.240 or they're you know, they don't have some sort of 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:17.360 social media group or a community that you can join 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:19.720 and kind of see them in action, or they don't 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.760 have some like free workshops that you can attend. You 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:24.960 know that every time that you try to get any 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:28.400 additional information, you're always hit with that's gonna cost you know, 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.080 stop signed, well, that costs, and that costs, and well 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.360 I need to see, you know, if you're really doing 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:36.680 what you say you're gonna do. And also too, I 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:38.840 would look to see because if you you'll be able 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.040 to see based upon like what they put out there, 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.240 what are people saying, thank you so much because you've 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:45.520 helped me do this? You know, are you seeing those 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:49.839 kind of comments underneath? If not, then I would reconsider 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:53.240 because someone who is not willing to give without you 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:56.520 giving them money upfront, I would be very cautious of 0:09:57.320 --> 0:09:59.559 because then what are they really here for? Are they 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:01.960 just here just to make money? And we're all, you know, 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:04.160 here to of course make a living. But to me, 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:07.160 when you're in the business of coaching someone's life, there 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:10.440 has to be a higher calling than just making money. 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.440 So I need a brown break from all the life 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:15.240 coaches all like the Snake Oil Yeah, the snake yeah, 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:16.800 the Snake Girl life. Not all of them, I'm sorry. 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:18.400 Some of you, like I said, are great. Like there're 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:21.120 a friend of mine, Lucinda Cross, She's an amazing life coach. 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:23.840 I mean, I've seen women like literally change their lives 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.000 and tell me like I'm not the same person. 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:28.880 But it's all about referrals. I would ask, Yeah, definitely 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:30.920 ask around to be sure that you're not, you know, 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:33.960 spending money on like a fake Yeah, excellent. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.559 So definitely not a twenty three year old I mean honestly. 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:39.360 I mean it depends on what they're gonna teach. You 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:44.000 don't expect to get, like, I don't know marriage and retirement. Well, 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:47.280 I was writing about retirement when I was twenty three. No, 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.080 I speak to experts. I'm not saying that I'm a 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.520 retirement expert. I'm a journalist. My job's talk to smarter 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:55.080 people than I am. But yeah, I think that's a 0:10:55.080 --> 0:11:08.880 good point. So my brown break this week is something 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:11.839 that I don't really make a point to go out 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:14.760 of my way to visit this particular website. However, I 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.199 am a user of Facebook, and some of my Ratchetor 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:21.080 some of my Ratchetter family members love posting links from 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.880 World Star Hip Hop. So I am like confronted daily 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.840 with these videos of like black on black, brown on 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:30.800 brown violence, people getting in fights at McDonald's on the train. 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:33.800 I was just looking at their website. One of the 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:36.040 headlines right now is some woman who had sex with 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:39.120 a passed out homeless man or something like that. They're 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:43.920 just like spreading, They're just proliferating the idea that minorities 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:46.480 are like just a bunch of wild animals out there 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:50.480 acting in these like animalistic ways. And I'm not saying that, 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.520 you know, obviously violence, I feel like violence should be 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:56.880 seen as a lesson and there should be consequences. But 0:11:56.960 --> 0:12:00.000 the way that they make money off of these videos 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:04.560 and they like perpetuate these stereotypes and they're celebrating these 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:06.800 instances of violence, it just doesn't turn off to me. 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:08.960 I'm stick of seeing these and people are like us. 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.400 I mean, have you ever seen people like they'll something 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.000 will be going down and they'll say world SRD like 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.880 people are looking now for they. 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:17.560 Don't even help people. 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:20.640 Yeah, they'll pull out their camera phones so they'll help somebody. 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:22.200 They're like, oh, this is a world star and you're 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:25.840 just like, wow, this is crazy. How about you help 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.640 that baby that's being hurt instead of taping you know, 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:29.920 someone beating up a child. 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:33.680 That might be helpful. So yeah, world star, you on break, 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.960 You're on a brown break. You and life coaches with 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:38.280 no lessons to teach. 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:40.200 I'm gonna have to unfollow a lot of my family 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:41.160 members on Facebook. 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.560 Oh I'm good for really taking what I'm good for 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:44.520 unfriending and following. 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:46.679 My friend has love the unfollowed button. They don't know 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.200 that you unfollow them, but you are in a life, 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:51.360 nice little bubble of just ignorance of whatever. 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:52.280 They're one of my friends. 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.120 What he does, which I'm like, well, I totally stole his. 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.200 Thanks cabral for this, I totally stole his. His Uh, 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:00.280 the way he uses Facebook. So if Facebook says, hey, 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:03.240 it's Mandy's birthday, and I'm like, when did that friend Mandy? 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:07.520 He uses your birthday and the notification of birthdays to 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:09.560 unfriend people that he no longer is interested. 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:10.240 It's a good one. 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:11.960 Yeah. So you're like, oh, so happy birthday, we're no 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:16.760 longer friends. And so I do that sometimes because sometimes 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.080 I have almost five thousand friends off Facebook, and I'm like, I. 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:21.560 Don't add people. I don't add people anymore. And you know, 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:24.000 because of my job, you know, you probably get tons 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:27.160 of random friends request from people that you don't know, 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:28.840 and I just stopped adding people. I'm like, you can 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:30.800 follow my public page, but I don't want you to 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:33.959 see my baby photos and like my post my dad 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:37.199 post like my embarrassing parents posted me on my wallet. 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:40.320 I don't know. There's too much information for you, stranger. 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.800 So anyway, we're also hip hop brown break and from 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:55.120 the people who post World Star hip hop links. Alrighty, 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:58.320 it's time for the tip of the week. This is 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:00.520 one that I feel like I'm an. I don't feel 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.200 like I'm an expert about many things, but I am 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:06.199 an expert about joint finances. I've been well an expert 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:09.360 of a few years now. I think that cohabitating has 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:12.200 become so much more common, especially with young couples. I mean, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:13.760 we're both cohabitating, yeah. 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:15.320 Which is so weird because if you would have asked me, 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.160 like in my early twenties, I'd be like, I'm not 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:20.080 shacking up living in sins, right, and some of you 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.000 guys are side. I guess I'm like I was like, 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:24.040 only God could judge me. 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:27.560 Now, okay, But it's. 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:29.240 Complicated because you're in a weird you're not in a 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:32.360 weird in between. You're living together, so you're kind of married, 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.440 but you're not married, so you can't be like all 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.440 up in their finances. But you need to be, but 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.640 you don't know how and it's like so complicated. So 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.560 I have some tips for couples who want to figure 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.840 out a way to after you move in together or 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:50.680 getting really serious, to start easing into co mingling your finances. 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.080 So I'm going to start. There's four tips here. The 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.320 first one I'm going to give is the idea of 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:59.320 having a separate and joint bank accounts. It's called you 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.840 can call it a your mine and our system. So yeah, 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.880 consider keeping your own separate bank accounts. Actually do this 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:08.280 with my boyfriend. We both have our separate credit and 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:12.080 our separate checking accounts, but we have one savings account 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:15.800 that we share, do you not smart? And we pay 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.960 rent out of that account. So we both automatically set 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:21.720 up direct deposits for the amount that we owe for rent. 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:23.640 So when both us get paid, that money goes into 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.120 the joint savings and then I'm in charge of paying 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:28.800 the rent. It's so easy, there's no awkward, Hey, can 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:30.880 you give me your check that you're about You know, 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.440 I'm gonna go down like you're kind of late. It 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.720 just takes out all that awkward you know in between. 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:38.120 You can even have a joint check, a joint checking 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:42.640 account for joint expenses like bills or groceries, just something simple. 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:45.240 I would say, open up. I use Capital one three sixty, 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:48.080 which is an online only bank. If you're afraid of 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:50.640 online only banks, don't be. They're also they're just they 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:54.360 have just as many protections as traditional banks, and they 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.440 charge way fewer fees and they actually have higher interest rate. 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.720 Yeah, because there's no overhead with like the whole exactly. 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.680 Yea, they save so much money. So that's my first tip. 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.120 I like that one, Thank you. 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:08.120 Secondly, I would say speak openly about your financial goals. 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:11.400 You don't have to have this one like come to Jesus, 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:13.640 sit down and just spill out your heart and soul 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.640 and all my financial drama and all my financial baggage, 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:18.280 and here's all my goals, and what are we getting 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.240 married and how much it's going to cost. Don't do 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.040 that all at one time. But I would say, if 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.400 you haven't moved in yet you're thinking about it, do 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:27.560 what I did. We had We had a nice dinner, 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:29.960 We had a bottle of wine, and we had a 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.160 kind of chat about what our budget would be for 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:36.480 our apartment, how we might handle the bills. He and 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:39.320 I earn different incomes. I earn a little bit iron 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:41.760 you know, a substantial amount more than him, enough to 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:43.600 make it a difference in terms of how much we 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.400 pay in rent, Like if we were to split it 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:47.120 down the middle, it wouldn't be fair, Okay. So we 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:49.200 agreed early on we were going to do things based 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.760 on our income, like just an even income split, as 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:55.520 far as like a ratio for our bills at Yeah, 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:57.880 so you know, I pay like I would say, two 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:00.960 thirds two thirds of the rent. I'm bat anyway, it's 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.400 it's I pay about four hundred dollars more a month 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:06.440 in rent, and then you know, I pick up the 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.399 bigger bill. Our bigger bill is cable. I'll get that, 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:11.080 and then he picks up the electricity bill. 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:14.119 Okay, but it's still like your like that kind of 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:14.600 we don't. 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:16.560 We didn't like get obsessive about getting it down to 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.919 the tea. And we've adjusted over time. We've had other conversations. 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:21.919 So when we first move in together, I was going 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.840 to pay like two hundred dollars more. And then after 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:26.960 a few months, I was like, hey, you know, boyfriend, 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:28.920 how's it working out. Do you feel like you're able 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:30.680 to make your you know, paying your bills. He also 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:32.520 has some debties trying to pay off, and he's like, 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.320 you know, I am kind of stressed. I'm feeling like 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:37.560 I can't really manage. And I said, okay, well I'm 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.399 going to pick up more of the rent. Okay, and 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:41.439 we'll get to a place where we can, you know, 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:42.680 to where you feel comfortable. 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:43.000 Okay. 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.159 Like so I'm sort of helping him toward his goals. 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.840 So having that conversation beforehand. Okay, So what if you 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:51.600 move in together and you haven't had the conversation and 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:54.480 you're starting to realize that you don't really have a 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:58.040 clear goals or a clear strategy for managing your finances, 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.119 then just have a conversation. Still have that dinner away 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.439 from the apartment I would recommend, and definitely not in 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:05.720 bed before you go to sleep. Yeah, don't do it. 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.639 I made a mistake before. I made the mistake of 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.440 like we're both like getting to sleep and I'm like, hey, 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:13.639 did you pay that credit card bill? A fight ensue 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:17.600 was like why, oh my business, Like don't back back, 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.879 yeah exactly. So you can come up like, oh, we 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:22.840 had this one role that we do, which is if 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:24.560 you're going to spend over a certain amount of money. 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.720 We tell each other, okay, and our number is like 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:29.040 two hundred dollars because we're saving it. We have you know, 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:31.800 we're saving up for some joint some future stuff. Okay, 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.280 And so it's important, you know, I think it's a 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:36.960