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Speaker 1: We reach our goals, and then we sustain them longer

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Speaker 1: if we give ourselves love, if we give ourselves compassion.

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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily a body here. You are listening to

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Speaker 2: episode two hundred and forty three of Hurdle, a wellness

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Speaker 2: focused podcast where I talk to inspirational people about everything

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Speaker 2: from their highest ties and toughest moments to essential tips

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Speaker 2: on how to live a healthier, happier, more motivated life.

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Speaker 2: We all go through our fair share of hurdles. My

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Speaker 2: goal through these discussions is to empower you to better

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Speaker 2: navigate yours and move with intention so that you can

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Speaker 2: stride towards your own big potential and of course have

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Speaker 2: some fun along the way. For today's conversation, I am

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Speaker 2: rounding out the content on self love with my dear

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Speaker 2: her friend, doctor Nina Polina. She is a licensed clinical

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Speaker 2: psychologist with over a decade of experience, and we are

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Speaker 2: getting into it today on all things self love. We

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Speaker 2: are talking about the importance of self love. I know

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Speaker 2: I've been there. Sometimes it can feel a little, let's say,

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Speaker 2: difficult to take time for yourself, but I know firsthand,

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Speaker 2: as do many of you, that putting your own oxygen

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Speaker 2: mask on first helps you not only show up for yourself,

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Speaker 2: but also for your loved ones, your coworkers, your family.

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Speaker 2: You get the picture. Doctor Paulina and I are talking

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Speaker 2: about what self love is, why it's important, what self

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Speaker 2: love habits are. So examples like stop comparing yourself to

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Speaker 2: others and releasing their opinions, moving on from toxic relationships,

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Speaker 2: that kind of thing. Plus, can affirmations be helpful in

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Speaker 2: the adoption of a self love practice and what those

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Speaker 2: might look like if you want to do it right.

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Speaker 2: And something I want to make sure that we really

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Speaker 2: hammer in today is that you can have a positive

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Speaker 2: self love practice but still go through bouts of negative

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Speaker 2: self talk. Now, when you have a positive self love practice,

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Speaker 2: that makes the let's call it reverberation from that negative

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Speaker 2: dialogue a little less severear it enables you to come

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Speaker 2: back into your body and have a little bit more

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Speaker 2: grace on the regular. And we talk all about that

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Speaker 2: goodness today. I actually really appreciated the slew of messages

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Speaker 2: I got last week between the conversation that I had

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Speaker 2: with Diego Perez. I'll make sure to link that one

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Speaker 2: in the show notes if you haven't checked it out yet.

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Speaker 2: I highly encourage and also Valentine's Day a lot of

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Speaker 2: people working through the process of getting good with spending

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Speaker 2: time on their own and doing things out in the

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Speaker 2: world alone. I'm not just talking about working out or commuting.

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Speaker 2: I'm talking going out to lunch, going out to dinner,

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Speaker 2: sitting out at a coffee shop, and reading a book.

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Speaker 2: These are things that may feel uncomfortable for you right now,

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Speaker 2: but with a positive self love, practice and diligence, it's

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Speaker 2: just like strengthening a muscle getting good spending time on

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Speaker 2: your own. The more that you do it, the more

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Speaker 2: that you get familiar with it, and the more comfortable

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Speaker 2: you will be again. So much of these topics talked

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Speaker 2: about in today's episode, so I'd love your feedback. Feel

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Speaker 2: free always to shoot us a note over email. It's

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Speaker 2: hello at Hurdle dot us and our dms are open

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Speaker 2: over at Hurdle Podcast. Make sure you're following along on

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Speaker 2: a social over at Hurdle Podcast. I'm also over at

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Speaker 2: Emily a Body and if you're not yet subscribed to

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Speaker 2: the weekly Hurdle newsletter, get in on that. It's absolutely free.

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Speaker 2: The link to get that substack in your inbox every

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Speaker 2: single Friday is in the show notes. With that, let's

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Speaker 2: get to it. Let's get to hurdling. Today. I am

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Speaker 2: sitting down with doctor Nina Paulina. She's a licensed clinical

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Speaker 2: psychologist and consultant. Welcome to hurdle, Nina. How are we doing?

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'm doing way better than the

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Speaker 1: last time I saw you. I'm not sick anymore. So

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Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be here with you, Emily, So

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Speaker 1: thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: I so for context for everyone that's following along here

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Speaker 2: at home. When Nina and I last connected, we were

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Speaker 2: chatting for an article for an outlet that I write for,

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Speaker 2: Wondermind when I'm not behind the mic, and I was

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Speaker 2: immediately taken to your bubbliness and none of this, like

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Speaker 2: I wasn't feeling my best, none of that radiated to me.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. It was like such an honor

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Speaker 1: to have the conversation with you, and I knew we

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Speaker 1: just click. So it was like fun to like talk

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Speaker 1: about a different project and then realize like we could

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Speaker 1: keep working together. So I was just happy to join you.

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Speaker 2: We can keep working together. Energy attracts like energy, and

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Speaker 2: the vibes are high here today. Well, what we're here

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Speaker 2: today to talk about is self love. And before we

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Speaker 2: segue into that conversation, give us the baseline, give us

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Speaker 2: some intel on what made you want to become a

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Speaker 2: licensed clinical psychologist and what kind of work are you

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Speaker 2: in do these days?

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Speaker 1: Such a great question. Well, the long and the short

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Speaker 1: of it is, I always wanted to be a medical

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Speaker 1: physician actually when I started, and I loved thinking about

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Speaker 1: the mind body connection. So I spent some time doing

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Speaker 1: research in fertility, and when I was working with all

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Speaker 1: the physicians there, they were like, Nina, the questions you're

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Speaker 1: asking are more associated with like a psychologist versus a

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Speaker 1: like a medical physician. But I'm like, how does anxiety

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Speaker 1: influence someone's body or their ability to get pregnant or not?

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Speaker 1: And so I went back to school. I got my

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Speaker 1: doctorate in clinical psychology, and most of my work was

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Speaker 1: based on the mind body connection, so thinking about how

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Speaker 1: do we as like perfectionists, high performers, high achievers, get

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Speaker 1: out of the head into the body. And so that

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Speaker 1: became my specialty. So now I work with individuals and

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Speaker 1: couples in that population and it has been amazing because

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Speaker 1: I think about all the relationships where like there are

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Speaker 1: two type A personalities and then they get together and

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Speaker 1: try to have a relationship where both people want to

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Speaker 1: be in the driver's seat and it does not work.

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Speaker 1: And so I love working with couples and helping them

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Speaker 1: to ground themselves into their bodies and have a successful relationship.

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Speaker 1: So it's really for me. I think I find joy

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Speaker 1: in helping people find their authenticity to like turn down

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Speaker 1: the volume on that like fear of failure and just

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Speaker 1: be yourself, right, like just free yourself from like all

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Speaker 1: of the thoughts, all of the things that really hold

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Speaker 1: us back. So I'm just super passionate about it, and

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Speaker 1: I love what I do.

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Speaker 2: What I'm hearing you say is that you've always been

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Speaker 2: an inquisitive person. Is that right?

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Speaker 1: Yes, one hundred percent. Love asking questions, love conversations. And

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Speaker 1: I'm also I would say, you know, everybody's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you think about like interviews and stuff, and everybody's like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, Like I'm just a people person. I'm really

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Speaker 1: a people person. Not to get to like on the side,

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Speaker 1: but like Barbara Streisand has that song and it's like

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Speaker 1: people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.

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Speaker 1: And I truly believe that I really think that like

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Speaker 1: we need other people. We can't just like robotically work

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Speaker 1: in silos. We have to work together, and you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes I find strengths in other people and we can

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Speaker 1: work together to be stronger as a group or as

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Speaker 1: a pair. So yeah, I'm inquisitive, and I also just

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Speaker 1: love hanging out with other people.

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Speaker 2: Did I think that there would be a Barbara streisand

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Speaker 2: reference four minutes in their podcast? Absolutely not. Am I

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Speaker 2: happy about it? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: You know, Babs come back like, you know, where's she

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Speaker 1: at these days? She comes back all the time.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, where is she at these days? Also quite interesting

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Speaker 2: that note that you had about to type a people

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Speaker 2: spending time together? Is that characteristically not something that's very

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Speaker 2: productive of Not really, it's.

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Speaker 1: You know, I think about some of the couples I've

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Speaker 1: seen where it's like you have two lawyers and they

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Speaker 1: become a couple, they get married, and they're both just

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Speaker 1: used to like putting people on the witness stand and

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Speaker 1: then they bring that energy into the relationship and it's

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Speaker 1: like conflict NonStop or like criticism NonStop. So that's just

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Speaker 1: like one example. Or if you have like two people

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Speaker 1: that are like you work with a lot of athletes.

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Speaker 1: So if you have two athletes that are like high performer,

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Speaker 1: they know what they want, right, and that drive gets

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Speaker 1: them really far in their career. But then when we

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Speaker 1: get together, yeah, we have that value that's important, that's

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Speaker 1: a shared value. And at the same time, yeah, we

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Speaker 1: can't have two people sort of ruling the roost. We

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Speaker 1: both kind of have to back down a little bit

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Speaker 1: and say like, Okay, where can I drive the car

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Speaker 1: and where can you drive the car? And how can

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Speaker 1: we kind of work from like an egalitarian or an

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Speaker 1: equality space versus like one person's ruling at all times.

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Speaker 1: So I think that's like something that we have to learn,

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Speaker 1: especially if we're you still like calling all the shots.

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Speaker 2: Right. So they're going to be two highly motivated people

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Speaker 2: that are excelling individually within their own lane, even if

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Speaker 2: it is within a similar industry, and those two people

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Speaker 2: will have to have a productive conversation about how to

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Speaker 2: best manage their personal relationship knowing that the dynamic might

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Speaker 2: be two very strong, independent people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like it's really about finding our softness,

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Speaker 1: finding our vulnerability. And that's why I'm like just so

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Speaker 1: happy that we're going to talk about self love today,

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Speaker 1: because I think that's the key is that like, hopefully

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Speaker 1: in our relationships we feel safe emotionally and physically enough

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Speaker 1: to like bring down our armor a little bit and say, like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to be like the fighter I am

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Speaker 1: on the outside world, Like I can be soft here.

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Speaker 1: I can share how I feel, and those feelings can

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Speaker 1: be honored, they can be valued, they can be accepted

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Speaker 1: not only by myself but by my partner. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: couple's work is so interesting. And also like during the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: what a cool job to like sign into my virtual

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Speaker 1: sessions and like have interesting things happen. You know, it

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Speaker 1: was like always a new story, always a new situation.

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Speaker 1: So it's a really fun career.

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Speaker 2: A crazy couple of years for you. Yes, you said

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Speaker 2: that we are going to talk about self love, and

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Speaker 2: I feel as though that with the rise of this

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Speaker 2: general understanding that mental health is something that is not taboo,

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Speaker 2: that is something that we should talk about, also came

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Speaker 2: the rise of this conversation of self love. How are

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Speaker 2: we giving back to ourselves so that we can better

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Speaker 2: show up not only for ourselves, but then also for

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Speaker 2: the people that we care about. I would say that

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Speaker 2: that's my loose definition of self love. But how would

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Speaker 2: you define self love? Nina?

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Speaker 1: I love that definition that you already gave Emily. I

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Speaker 1: would say that, like I just want to address the

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Speaker 1: elfant in the room that like, when people say the

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Speaker 1: word self love, sometimes we think like, okay, that is

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Speaker 1: so corny, it's so cheesy, like what does that even mean?

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Speaker 1: Or you know, you finish a relationship, maybe like we

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Speaker 1: have a breakup and a friend says, you know, this

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Speaker 1: is a great time to like love yourself. It's like

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Speaker 1: sometimes we think about self love and we're like, eh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that, right, or like we think

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Speaker 1: about self love is like the action of saying nice

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Speaker 1: things to yourself in the mirror until you believe it.

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Speaker 1: But I think this is a great space to reduce

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Speaker 1: that stigma a little bit and just share exactly like

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Speaker 1: you said that self love is really a relationship that

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Speaker 1: we have to ourselves. It's about respecting ourselves. It's about

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Speaker 1: trusting ourselves, trusting our intuition, right, like not going to

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Speaker 1: every person to ask for advice. How should I handle this?

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Speaker 1: How should I do this? Listening to our own inner compass.

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Speaker 1: And it's also about self acceptance. It's about, you know,

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Speaker 1: accepting that we're not always perfect, We're not always buttoned

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Speaker 1: up in a particular way, that like we have emotions,

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Speaker 1: we are imperfect, and that's actually the beauty of each person, right,

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Speaker 1: Like I want to hear about people's life stories, and

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Speaker 1: I want to hear about the triumphs they're resilience. I

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily want to sit across from someone who is

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Speaker 1: like buttoned up and totally perfect all the time, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, yeah, entirely, And so I appreciate what you said

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Speaker 2: about not always being perfect. No one is always perfect,

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Speaker 2: and so a large component of self love is not

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Speaker 2: passing unnecessary judgment in these moments where things aren't going

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Speaker 2: as you'd hoped or as you'd planned one hundred percent.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we just can't judge ourselves. And I always say that,

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Speaker 1: like when you there's a particular like type of therapy

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Speaker 1: where it's called shadow work, And so sometimes like what

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Speaker 1: we're criticizing judging about somebody else might be something that

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Speaker 1: we're also judging about ourselves. So some people might say, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm not that hard on myself, or like I'm actually

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Speaker 1: pretty positive. So sometimes you can kind of see where

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Speaker 1: you're judging yourself by just looking at like how am

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Speaker 1: I viewing other people? So that's like a good window

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Speaker 1: into figuring out what you need to love more about yourself.

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Speaker 2: For someone who's never done shadow work before, can you

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Speaker 2: elaborate a little bit on how that works?

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent? Yeah, It's like basically when we grow up,

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Speaker 1: we are sometimes criticized, whether it's like a blatant like

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Speaker 1: somebody says something to you, or it could be like

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Speaker 1: someone's rolling their eyes at you when you do something.

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Speaker 1: So for I'll give you an example, if you're a

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Speaker 1: little kid and you're singing in front of your family

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Speaker 1: and nobody's listening, or like everyone's distracted not really paying

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Speaker 1: attention to you, you may start to create this shadow

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Speaker 1: that like you don't want to sing in public, maybe

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Speaker 1: your friends. You as an adult, you're out like at

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Speaker 1: a karaoke bar and you're the last person to volunteer

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Speaker 1: to sing a song because and sometimes we don't even

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Speaker 1: realize it, but we might have had that one experience

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Speaker 1: when we were kids that like totally like imparted in

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Speaker 1: our brain that like we're not good at this, or

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Speaker 1: I'm going to embarrass myself if I do it. So

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Speaker 1: that's just like one example, but shadow work can be

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Speaker 1: really helpful if you start to journal and explore you know,

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Speaker 1: what am I judging about other people? And where does

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Speaker 1: that really come from? Or if you're like, oh, that

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Speaker 1: person just talks a lot. If you're you know, hanging

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Speaker 1: out with a group of friends, well maybe someone told

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Speaker 1: you in the past that you talk too much or

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Speaker 1: that you know. And also if we think about like

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Speaker 1: the societal piece, maybe if you're a woman and you

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Speaker 1: were taught like to keep quiet and not share, not

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Speaker 1: to be that open, so you may in your adult life,

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Speaker 1: you know, refrain from sharing your opinion or being loud

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Speaker 1: or sharing too much. Right, So it's just sort of

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Speaker 1: like a way that you can think of why exactly

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Speaker 1: am I holding back in these areas super helpful.

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Speaker 2: So you mentioned that a big piece to the puzzle

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Speaker 2: when it comes to self love is the rem of judgment.

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Speaker 2: Easier said than done. Right, someone listening to this right now,

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Speaker 2: here's not to be so hard on themselves. Where does

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Speaker 2: someone even begin with that?

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Speaker 1: Good question? So I think the best way to reduce

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Speaker 1: the self judgment is to start with tiny practices of

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Speaker 1: self love. So I typically help people with just starting small,

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Speaker 1: Like you can start with the morning routine, you can

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Speaker 1: start with the evening routine. Just places where you've kind

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Speaker 1: of structured time to give your self love, which might

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Speaker 1: mean a meditation or a walk outside of nature, or

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Speaker 1: maybe you read a book before bed instead of zoom

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Speaker 1: doom scrolling on the internet, which you know we all

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Speaker 1: do sometimes, but like, how do we circle back to

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Speaker 1: things that really light us up, that fill us up,

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Speaker 1: you know, the self judgment. We want to reduce that

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Speaker 1: voice in our head that's negative, that's saying that we're

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Speaker 1: not good enough, or we can't do, we can't be right.

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Speaker 1: But that voice, I think there needs to be acceptance

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Speaker 1: around the fact that, like that voice never goes away.

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Speaker 1: We're just turning down the volume. And what we're doing

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Speaker 1: instead is we're increasing the volume of self compassion of saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, hey, I'm just like everybody else, I'm flawed.

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Speaker 1: And if we can increase that voice, that's winning and

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Speaker 1: with the they call it in psychology the negative bias,

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Speaker 1: which basically means that like the negative thoughts are just everywhere,

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Speaker 1: Like we have thousands of negative thoughts every single day.

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Speaker 1: Let's normalize it. But let's also figure out a way

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Speaker 1: to just turn it down a little almost like if

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Speaker 1: you've ever been to It's been probably a while since

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Speaker 1: I've been in a department store, but you know how

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Speaker 1: they have like that elevator music that's going on in

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Speaker 1: a department store, kind of like that where it's not

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Speaker 1: like super loud, it's just a voice. It's it's just

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Speaker 1: a song that's happening, and I'm still able to live

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Speaker 1: my life, live it loudly, do what I want to do,

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Speaker 1: love myself knowing that that voice is not the loudest.

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Speaker 2: The way to less in self judgment is to create

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Speaker 2: practices that foster in self care.

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Yeah, and that could literally be anything.

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Speaker 1: So we talked about the morning routines, the evening routines.

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Speaker 1: That's just like creating pockets that are you know, filled

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Speaker 1: with joy. I always say, like, try to find activities

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Speaker 1: that light you up. So for you and I, it's

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Speaker 1: having conversations. That's something that we like to do and

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Speaker 1: we're now doing we're doing it together. That's something that

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Speaker 1: lights me up. So you want to spend more time

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Speaker 1: doing things that light you up. How do we know

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Speaker 1: what lights us up? Sometimes we're there like, I don't know, right,

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Speaker 1: So listen to your body when you're doing different activities.

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Speaker 1: What makes you feel good inside and what makes you

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Speaker 1: feel like tense and constricted, Maybe you don't want to

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Speaker 1: do those activities again, So just like really listening to

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Speaker 1: your body and kind of grounding into yourself to figure

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Speaker 1: out what lights you up.

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Speaker 2: And this is why self relection can be so important

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Speaker 2: on a daily basis. So maybe in the moment life

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Speaker 2: is happening, realizing that maybe you're not as present as

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Speaker 2: you want to be going about your day to day.

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Speaker 2: But if you have some sort of journaling practice or

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Speaker 2: a moment every morning where you and a best friend

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Speaker 2: text about the past twenty four hours, you can recap

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Speaker 2: and be like, I did this yesterday and actually, now

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Speaker 2: that I reflect on it, and you're not that far

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Speaker 2: removed from the day that felt really good or that

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Speaker 2: didn't feel so good, and maybe I won't do this

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Speaker 2: the next time, or maybe I'll do that differently come

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Speaker 2: next Wednesday when it happens again.

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent. I love that, Like, the self reflection

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Speaker 1: piece is huge, and that's the only way we're gonna

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Speaker 1: know what we like and what we don't because, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the social influence is huge, and sometimes we realize we're

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Speaker 1: just doing things because other people are doing them. So

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Speaker 1: it is so nice to come to a place where

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Speaker 1: you know exactly where you stand and then you stay there, right,

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Speaker 1: Like that's I think the hard part too, is that,

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Speaker 1: like sometimes you're just gonna have to say no to

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Speaker 1: things that don't light you up and don't fill you up,

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Speaker 1: and maybe that means disappointing a friend or disappointing a

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Speaker 1: family member if you don't want to go to that event.

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Speaker 1: And that is self love, even though it's like the

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Speaker 1: toughest thing, but it's like this, it's the belief, it's

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Speaker 1: the feelings, it's the reflection, and it's also the action,

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Speaker 1: Like how can I take action by really prioritizing myself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll talk about letting go of the guilt and

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Speaker 2: shame that goes hand in hand with prioritizing yourself in

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Speaker 2: just a little bit. But before we get there, we

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Speaker 2: mentioned some practices like journaling, like paying attention to how

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Speaker 2: you feel when you do certain activities so you know

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Speaker 2: whether or not they are in your best interest. But

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Speaker 2: aside from that, what are some other examples of self

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Speaker 2: love habits that someone could incorporate into their regular routine.

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Speaker 1: So this is a great question, and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: start with the craziest one first, which is I always

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Speaker 1: recommend for people to start creating a relationship with their

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Speaker 1: selves in the mirror. It sounds weird, like if someone

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Speaker 1: if someone told me to just look in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and talk to myself, I'd be like, Okay, what do

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Speaker 1: you like? This is crazy?

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Speaker 2: What do you mean?

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Speaker 1: I always get that look. But I think it's so

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Speaker 1: important because just like our relationships that we have with

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Speaker 1: other people, self love is a relationship with ourselves. And

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Speaker 1: so you know, self love isn't like I said, the

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Speaker 1: cheesy like look in the mirror and say three nice

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Speaker 1: things about yourself. It's like maybe you're in the middle

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Speaker 1: of a meeting and you have another one later and

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Speaker 1: you just check in as you're taking a bathroom break,

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Speaker 1: you look in the mirror and you just say, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I'm really tired today, or like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm really disappointed that that last meeting didn't go the

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Speaker 1: way that.

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Speaker 2: It was supposed to go.

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Speaker 1: Or it could be you know what, I had a

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Speaker 1: really awesome game today and I'm just really proud of myself,

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Speaker 1: like go you you know, like we have a range

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Speaker 1: of emotions, and it's really important that self love is

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Speaker 1: really a relationship with ourselves that has ups and downs,

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Speaker 1: just like every relationship. So I think normalizing that is

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Speaker 1: really important instead of the like self love say all

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Speaker 1: these positive things like sometimes you have a great relationship

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Speaker 1: with yourself and sometimes things can be hard, but it's

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Speaker 1: just about facing it, so that relationship with ourselves in

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Speaker 1: the mirror can be really important. It's also about just

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Speaker 1: listening to your body and taking breaks. Self love can

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Speaker 1: just literally be like taking a breath in between checking

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Speaker 1: emails to just say, Okay, do I want to go

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Speaker 1: to the next email, or do I need to take

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Speaker 1: a break? Do I need a snack, or do I

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Speaker 1: need to take a bathroom break. Like I've had so

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Speaker 1: many clients that like literally do not stop to go

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Speaker 1: to the bathroom because they're like they're like wound up,

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Speaker 1: you know, with energy, and they just don't they don't

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Speaker 1: know how to slow things down. So that self love

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Speaker 1: is like really slowing things down throughout the day. Getting

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Speaker 1: into our bodies is so important not only for like

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Speaker 1: high performance athletes, but like any person, because so much

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Speaker 1: of our days now for many people who have like

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Speaker 1: the privilege to work from home, we're sitting a lot

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Speaker 1: of the time. So it can be nice to just

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Speaker 1: literally in the middle of the day turn on your

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Speaker 1: favorite song and just jam out and like shake your hands,

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Speaker 1: shake your legs, dance, be crazy, and then like sit

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Speaker 1: down again, and that helps us get back into the body.

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Speaker 1: So I think self love is, like we were saying

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Speaker 1: earlier before, practices to like you said, journal self reflect

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Speaker 1: think about our emotions, identify how we're feeling. And they're

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Speaker 1: also actions like setting boundaries with our friends, making sure

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Speaker 1: we're speaking up for ourselves if we don't like something

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Speaker 1: at work, speaking up and saying that, and then also

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Speaker 1: just moving our body is such a big part of

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Speaker 1: self love.

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Speaker 2: Self love through line here seems to be honesty. Right

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Speaker 2: when we're not honest with ourselves about how we feel,

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Speaker 2: how a situation makes us feel, what it is that

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Speaker 2: we need, then what happens is an inner dialogue is

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Speaker 2: created that's essentially resentful on what's happening around you, whether

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Speaker 2: that resentment is geared towards self or it's geared toward

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Speaker 2: other people.

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Speaker 1: Mike drop. I have nothing else to say, because I

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Speaker 1: was gonna say a resentment and then you freaking said it. Emily,

433
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's like flight out of my mind.

434
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 2: Oh man, oh man. You know me and you are

435
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: just on the same page here. But it's true, right,

436
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 2: Honesty is such a through line, and oftentimes I have

437
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 2: found personally that when I am skipping out on things

438
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 2: like journaling, when I am making my best effort not

439
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 2: to confront a situation or be honest with myself about

440
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 2: what's happening, that's when I'm in these dark places, that

441
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 2: climate that's going on in my head. It's stormy, it's

442
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 2: no bueno. I don't necessarily want to be around people.

443
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 2: And then, as we said at the top of this,

444
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 2: with our energies complementing energy attracting like energy, then I

445
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 2: in turn start to attract energy that I don't want

446
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: in my space.

447
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. What you said is so

448
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 1: true that like that inner dialogue becomes louder and louder

449
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 1: and louder. We might even find ourselves like in the shower.

450
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 1: I think we've all probably had this experience of like

451
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: you're in the shower and then you're replaying back a

452
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: conversation where maybe you gave something away, whether that's like

453
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: your pride, your respect, whatever that is, and it's like, oh, well,

454
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 1: I should have said this or I should have said that.

455
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 1: So it is, like you said, so important to be

456
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: honest with ourselves and honest with other people. And maybe

457
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 1: that other person needs to hear that feedback from us.

458
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,880
Speaker 1: Maybe they need to carry some of that away and

459
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 1: process that in their own therapy. Right. But like, what's

460
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: my job, you know, is to keep my side of

461
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: the street clean, exactly what you said, right, Like all

462
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: these self love journaling practices and all the ways that

463
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: we love ourselves, that's our job in any relationship, like

464
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 1: you said, a friendship, a work relationship, a romantic relationship,

465
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: and you know, whatever we say to the other person,

466
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: as long as we're saying it with like you know,

467
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 1: compassion and grace. However they take it, that's for that

468
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 1: other person to take into their own work if they're

469
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 1: feeling triggered by it.

470
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 2: Taking a break from the show to give some love

471
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 2: to friend of the pod sequel, I'm gonna be honest

472
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 2: because we are mostly women here that that time of

473
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Speaker 2: the month is typically such a headache for me. I

474
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 2: know it's a headache for all of us, but as

475
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Speaker 2: long as I can remember, I have leaked on long

476
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Speaker 2: runs and bike rides. You get the picture. That was

477
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Speaker 2: until I was introduced to Sequel tampons earlier this year.

478
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479
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480
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481
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Speaker 2: other words, when using Sequel, I experience improved absorption and

482
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Speaker 2: less leaks tested for up to eight hours of where

483
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Speaker 2: I feel so much more comfortable and at peace knowing

484
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485
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486
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488
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489
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490
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491
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492
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493
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494
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495
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496
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Speaker 2: redeemed for gift cards to brands or for other exclusive perks.

497
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Speaker 2: I just took a look at my app and I

498
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Speaker 2: have the opportunity to get gift cards to places like Nike,

499
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500
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503
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504
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505
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Speaker 2: that is Receipts the dot x y z code Hurdle

506
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 2: to download today. I love the way that you phrased

507
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: that whenever we give something away and then you reference

508
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 2: what can commonly happen as a result of that, which

509
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,239
Speaker 2: is the replay of that dialogue or that circumstance or

510
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 2: that situation for someone that has found themselves and it's me,

511
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 2: it's you, it's everyone that's listening to this right now,

512
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 2: in that spiral in the replay mode that they seemingly

513
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 2: cannot escape from. What tips do you have to offer

514
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 2: them so that they can move forward and get back

515
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 2: to that place of seal, compassion and self love.

516
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 1: Such a great question. First of all, my compassion goes

517
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: out to anyone who is in a space where they're

518
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 1: constantly in their thoughts, because that's never a good place

519
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: to be and it feels awful if you're in that space.

520
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: The first step that we can take is just to

521
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: take a huge breath, to just ground ourselves and just

522
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: take note of like, Okay, I can either react to

523
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 1: this in a way that I might have in the past,

524
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 1: or I can respond differently here. What do I need?

525
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: That's the first thing I would ask myself after I

526
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: take the breath, What do I need right now? And

527
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: how do I feel about what happened? A lot of

528
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: the times why we're spinning in our brain is because

529
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: we really haven't identified what are the feelings that I

530
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: am having right now? And once we figure that out,

531
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: maybe it's like I feel fear, maybe I feel anxious,

532
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 1: or maybe I feel sad or hurt, or maybe I'm

533
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: feeling grief. Once I can take a breath, and move

534
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: through that emotion and feel that emotion, allow myself to

535
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: feel it. Then I can figure out what is my

536
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: next step from there. Maybe the next step is I

537
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: have to have an important conversation. Maybe the next step

538
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: is I need to go work out and like get

539
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: the energy out, or maybe I need to go for

540
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: a walk to ground myself, or maybe I just need

541
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: to sit in nature. So the answer is it's kind

542
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: of like silly to say it this way, but like

543
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: the answer is is kind of within us about like

544
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: what we need, but we can't really listen when we're

545
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 1: in the state of like a fight or flight is

546
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,239
Speaker 1: what you're describing of, Like I'm in my mind, I'm

547
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: in my thoughts, Like my thoughts won't start stop racing.

548
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: It's really about bringing that energy down to like our heart,

549
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 1: feeling it through, and then deciding what to do from there.

550
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's such an important takeaway is that when

551
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 2: you are in that space of fight or flight, it's

552
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 2: very unlikely that you are acting from a place of

553
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: like deep rooted respond instead of react. Right, you are

554
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 2: in the react phase when you are in flight or flight.

555
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 1: I like that you said, like we've all experienced because

556
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: that is the human condition is to experience stress, to

557
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: experience anxiety, to experience fear. And so if yeah, if

558
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: you're listening out there and you're like, oh, I feel

559
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,719
Speaker 1: like I'm the only one. We all go through this

560
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: and we all have to have a particular practice to

561
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: ground ourselves, and so we're all in it together.

562
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 2: And as you articulated so well, breathing is the root

563
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,959
Speaker 2: of that. Right breath is one of our biggest tools.

564
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 2: It is readily available to us at any given moment,

565
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:33,719
Speaker 2: and still so many people stray away from leaning into it.

566
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 2: For someone that doesn't just yet and they're like, wow,

567
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 2: I guess you're right. It is readily available to me

568
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 2: at any given moment. Where do you begin?

569
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: I think flowing things down is really important and the awareness,

570
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: like you were saying, some people don't even know it's

571
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: there because they're so caught up in the busyness of

572
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: the day. And hey, like we all have obligations. Maybe

573
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: you're a parent, or maybe you have like multiple businesses

574
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: or whatever it is that's keeping you busy, So it

575
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: could just be helpful to slow things down. Maybe you

576
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: put a timer on your phone for like once every hour.

577
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,719
Speaker 1: It dings, and then you just check in with your

578
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 1: body to say, like where am I right now? So

579
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 1: maybe you need to actually structure it that way. I

580
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: always tell people, like I was kind of sharing earlier

581
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: about the emails, that could be helpful because like we

582
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: all have emails coming through all the time, so it

583
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: could be nice to just like, if you're checking your

584
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 1: emails after each one, take a breath, check in with

585
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: your body. Do I need to answer the next one?

586
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 1: Do I need to go like really just doing it

587
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: kind of like on a granular level versus like making

588
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: it so overwhelming. So yeah, I think that could be

589
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 1: the first step is kind of like a timer, if

590
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: that could be helpful.

591
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 2: And meet yourself with where you're at with that, so

592
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 2: it's not like all of a sudden you're going to

593
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 2: have this in depth breath practice if that's not something

594
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 2: that you've already gotten the ball rolling with, right, So

595
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 2: starts with an alarm once a day, and then that

596
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: will become something that you're cognizant of and that you

597
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 2: think of. I have a confession. I have to tell

598
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 2: you something. Yeah, tell me, Okay, yesterday I was having

599
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 2: our particularly frustrating afternoon. If you will, and I scheduled

600
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: twelve emails that will go out over the course of

601
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 2: the next three months that were basically positive affirmations reminding

602
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 2: me that I've got this.

603
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 1: Okay, I need to steal that.

604
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 2: I had recently scheduled another email like not to myself,

605
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: for someone else, and I was just sitting there thinking

606
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: to myself, wouldn't it be great if I could just

607
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 2: do this for me, like a little self reminder, And

608
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 2: I was like, you can, you actually can't do this

609
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 2: for yourself. And I did it, and I won't be

610
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 2: receiving one for another week, but I was really proud

611
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 2: that I was able to use a tool that was

612
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 2: readily available at my fingertips. Took me all of about

613
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 2: seven minutes to do this for about a dozen emails,

614
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 2: and now when those come in, it will just be

615
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 2: this really beautiful reminder, a self love moment of who

616
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: the hell I really am.

617
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: I love that, and thank you for sharing it, because

618
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna First of all, I'm just gonna steal that,

619
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: so thank you. The second thing is, I we haven't

620
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: touched on self celebration yet, which is exactly what you're describing.

621
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 2: Let's talk about it.

622
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: I think it's so important because especially for people, you know,

623
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: like the population I serve as like a lot of

624
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: high achievers, hygh performers, and like we're always kind of

625
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: looking for the next thing. It's like we accomplish something

626
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 1: and then it's like Okay, immediately, what's the next goal

627
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: and how do I get there? Oftentimes what increases our

628
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: self worth our self confidence is actually looking backward to say, like, Okay,

629
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: look at all that I achieved. Like even in you

630
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: know resolutions where you know, we just passed January, some

631
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 1: people are just like Okay, let me just figure out

632
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: what my goals are for twenty twenty five. But it's

633
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: so important to look back to say what did I

634
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 1: do in twenty twenty four and like what are all

635
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 1: the things that I need to celebrate? Maybe I get

636
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 1: myself a cake, or like I take myself out for

637
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: a nice dinner, but just pausing to share with ourselves,

638
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: like how did we achieve? You know, how do we

639
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: celebrate ourselves? And that love is so important and like

640
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: what you're sharing is like, hey, I'm going to have

641
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: my back no matter what, and like if we don't

642
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: have our backs, then who will. Hopefully we have a

643
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 1: community that will show up for us. But it starts internally.

644
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 1: So I love that you're doing that.

645
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 2: It starts internally. I always say that you have to

646
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 2: start by being your own biggest hype woman first, and

647
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 2: then you can graduate from there. Once you graduate from there,

648
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 2: once you are celebrating the things that you have to offer,

649
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 2: then you will be met with people that want to

650
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,879
Speaker 2: be around that energy, that want to soak that in,

651
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 2: and that want to celebrate you as well.

652
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. And then your group, like you were saying,

653
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: becomes people who HiPE each other up right, Like no

654
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: one's threatened by each other. We're all celebrating one another,

655
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 1: and it's not met with like that ooh, I don't

656
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 1: like that you have that job and I don't or

657
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 1: you know all that like ooh, that energy of competitive competitive,

658
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: you know, the competitive nature that comes up sometimes. So

659
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: I think that's really incredible and very true that like,

660
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: once you get to a point where you're really loving yourself,

661
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 1: you're hyping yourself up, those types of people gravitate towards you,

662
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 1: and it's inspiring to be in those kinds of circles.

663
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 2: And you mentioned self celebration, which I want to double

664
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 2: back on really quick, because sometimes what I hear from

665
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: other women is that there is an unintentional but present

666
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 2: level of guilt or shame that comes with celebrating oneself

667
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 2: in that maybe you do consider yourself a high achiever,

668
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 2: or simply you're someone that is very motivated and passionate

669
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 2: about the things that excite you. You accomplish something that

670
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 2: excites you, it is a big deal, or maybe it's

671
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 2: even a small win at that and you think, I

672
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 2: can't take the time to celebrate myself or I just

673
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 2: need to keep ongoing. For someone that that level of

674
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 2: guilt and shame comes up when we talk about self celebration,

675
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 2: how do we get over that? What do you say

676
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 2: to them?

677
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 1: Oh, good question, I would say, there are so the

678
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: self compassion I think is really important there because there

679
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: are so many contributors to the guilt and shame that

680
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: comes with celebrating ourselves. So we think about like systemic

681
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 1: oppression or the way women are treated for a very

682
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 1: long time, and the way our mothers are and their mothers'

683
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: mothers were treated, and so there might be sort of

684
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 1: like a narrative in our subconscious of like don't outshine

685
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 1: the rest or be humble, and like there are some

686
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: kind of like some cultures that actually believe like do

687
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: not speak up or you know, stay kind of small

688
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: or be shy or don't speak up. And so there's

689
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 1: so much that we have to get over to get

690
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: to a place where celebration feels comfortable. And so I

691
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: would just say, maybe it's going to feel uncomfortable at first.

692
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,720
Speaker 1: Maybe you don't want to celebrate yourself and you almost

693
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 1: just make yourself do it until you start to get

694
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 1: more comfortable with it and you start to realize, oh,

695
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 1: it's not that bad. Actually it feels good at least

696
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: in the research, they say in terms of self compassion,

697
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 1: we reach our goals and then we sustain them longer

698
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 1: if we give ourselves love, if we give ourselves compassion

699
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 1: versus the self critical voice which many of us have,

700
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: and will say, that's what got me to where I am.

701
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 1: It is because I was able to critique everything perfectly

702
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: fix those things, and then I reach the goal. But

703
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 1: really it's about having compassion celebrating yourself, and that's what

704
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 1: sustains our goals for much longer. It increases our self worth.

705
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 1: So if you're just starting out, just like noticing that

706
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable and sitting with it, having compassion for yourself

707
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: because it comes from a long line of our you

708
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: know background. Maybe you even explore that with your family

709
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,359
Speaker 1: or your mom or your dad. You try to figure

710
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 1: out where does that come from? Do my parents celebrate

711
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,399
Speaker 1: themselves or did my grandparents? And we can probably find

712
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: a through line.

713
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what, this reminds me of the

714
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 2: process of getting used to spending time alone. I remember

715
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:31,439
Speaker 2: when I started doing activities on my own. So I'm

716
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: not just talking about living alone in New York. I'm

717
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 2: talking about going to the movies on my own, going

718
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 2: out to dinner on my own, traveling on my own.

719
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 2: And what I came to find after sharing some of

720
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 2: these experiences was that so many individuals, particularly women, found

721
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 2: the idea of doing these things solo, to be not

722
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 2: only intimidating, but also from many of them, not of interest.

723
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 2: Right in the act of executing things on your own,

724
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: there is that uncomfortability that you begin with because it's unfamiliar,

725
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: and then you do things that make it a pleasure,

726
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 2: that bring joy into the fold where joy maybe wasn't

727
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 2: previously found for me. That means when I'm going out

728
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 2: to dinner alone, I'm not sitting there and doom scrolling anymore.

729
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 2: I'm there with a book. I'm there with a notebook.

730
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 2: I'm writing things down. And so when you speak about

731
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 2: the opportunity to find small instances of joy as we

732
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 2: do celebrate ourselves, I think that that is really important,

733
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 2: is that it might not feel good all in ones

734
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 2: and maybe it's not supposed to, but that's oh okay.

735
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 1: It's okay. Thank you for normalizing that. And I would

736
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 1: say too some of my solo trips, I had one

737
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: particularly that I can remember where I took myself to

738
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: Hawaii to like celebrate myself. And it was, first of all,

739
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 1: my family was freaking out because I was younger, and

740
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: they're like, okay, you're gonna just go by yourself?

741
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 2: Is that okay?

742
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 1: And I was like yeah, bye, And I had the

743
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 1: best time, and it was like, you know, I'm a

744
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,720
Speaker 1: spiritual person, so it was like just nice to connect

745
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:13,839
Speaker 1: to myself, to connect to nature and really truly get

746
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: to know myself on a deeper level. And yeah, it

747
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: does feel uncomfortable. You're in on that plane and no

748
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 1: one's sitting next to you, but you meet people along

749
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: your journey and it's so much fun. And maybe you

750
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,439
Speaker 1: don't even meet anyone, but you just have the best

751
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,800
Speaker 1: time on your own. You don't have to like decide

752
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: where you're going with someone else. You could do everything

753
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: that you want to do. So I'm for I'm totally

754
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:35,360
Speaker 1: for solo trips. I think they're.

755
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 2: Amazing, amazing. A Hawaii solo trip sounds pretty good right

756
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 2: about now. Oh yeah, I appreciate what you said earlier

757
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 2: when we were talking about mirror talk, that you weren't

758
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 2: necessarily recommending or saying that everyone needs to look themselves

759
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 2: in the mirror and say you are awesome, you are fantastic,

760
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 2: You've got this right. It's really about this opportunity to

761
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,240
Speaker 2: be honest with yourself. However, I do want to dial

762
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,359
Speaker 2: in on affirmations because I know that they can be

763
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 2: a really beneficial part to someone's self care practice. Why

764
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 2: is that? Why are affirmations something that can be a

765
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 2: really beneficial tool.

766
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:19,919
Speaker 1: Well, there's a lot of neuroscience behind this, particular affirmations

767
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,359
Speaker 1: that I think could be really helpful for someone. You

768
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: have to believe that they work, though, That's the thing,

769
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: Like I don't want you look at if you're listening,

770
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 1: I don't you looking in the mirror and saying like, oh,

771
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm so amazing if you don't really think that. And

772
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,720
Speaker 1: I think that's the key. You have to like think

773
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 1: and believe it just a little bit, and then you

774
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 1: keep practicing it. And it's the more you believe it,

775
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,959
Speaker 1: the more you do it, that kind of thing. So, yeah,

776
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: it can be really helpful for many people. And I

777
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 1: think the main thing that you want to think about

778
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: is like being relaxed while you do it. So for

779
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: some people maybe it's using have you heard of binural beats? Yeah, yeah,

780
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: on Spotify and everything. But it's just a great way

781
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: to ground the nervous system. So then we're in our bodies,

782
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: right and then we're looking in the mirror, or maybe

783
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,240
Speaker 1: we're not. We're just like saying it at our desk,

784
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 1: and that can be really helpful for the nervous system

785
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: and you're saying it over and over, right, But like,

786
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: I just want to use the caveat that. Like, it

787
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 1: doesn't work for everyone and you kind of have to

788
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: believe it a little for it to gain some momentum.

789
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 2: I feel like there's a way to use affirmations that

790
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 2: feel true to you. So an affirmation doesn't have to

791
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 2: be I am God's gift to the planet or I

792
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 2: am the best person alive.

793
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 1: Because it's funny, if I told you that was my affirmation,

794
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:44,879
Speaker 1: you'd be like, Okay, I'm never seeing you again.

795
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 2: Bye. I'm like, well this just got pretty awkward, right,

796
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: But they can be something like I am capable, I

797
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 2: am confident, I can handle whatever curveballs come my way today.

798
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 2: And those are facts right for many of us, that

799
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 2: you are capable and you are confident, and you are

800
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: someone that can be flexible, right, And so choosing affirmations

801
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 2: that resonate with you is an amazing tool to be

802
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 2: able to really lean into that practice.

803
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 1: And you can also think about the times in the past,

804
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: like you said, where you have been really competent at

805
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,760
Speaker 1: what you're doing and remind yourself of that, like while

806
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 1: you're doing the affirmations, like you've done it before, Nina,

807
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: and you can do it again. You know that really

808
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 1: helps to for us to remind ourselves that, like we've

809
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: gotten through really hard things.

810
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 2: Yes, now, I want to go back to that concept

811
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,800
Speaker 2: on positive self talk, because we know that having positive

812
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 2: self talk can be a really helpful component to an

813
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 2: overall self care practice. Every day isn't going to be

814
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: a day where you wake up and look in the

815
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: mirror and feel shiny and exciting and positive. So what

816
00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 2: happens then, what happens on the days where maybe be

817
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 2: that inner dialogue isn't so jazzy, it isn't something that

818
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 2: you're so proud of, And how do we get to

819
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:09,720
Speaker 2: a place rooted in self love where you can flip

820
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 2: that script?

821
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: H I really, as you were talking, I was thinking

822
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: about grief. I don't know why it was coming up

823
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: as you were talking, because sometimes we have really hard

824
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 1: days and we don't realize that maybe we're going through

825
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 1: like a very difficult transition in our life. Grief is

826
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 1: not just when we've lost someone. That's just sort of

827
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 1: like what we think of. But it could be like,

828
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 1: you know, a friendship breakup, or maybe something at work

829
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: happened and you're transitioning to a new role and it

830
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 1: feels scary, and that can be grief of like the

831
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: roles that you had before, and maybe you're in a

832
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: place where it feels really uncomfortable. Those are just some examples,

833
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: but moving through the grief is self love and feeling

834
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 1: the sadness, feeling the anger maybe or feeling like the

835
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 1: bargaining part of grief. So it's like going through the

836
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 1: stages is really so important. So if you feel like

837
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 1: you've had a really tough day, slow it down, take

838
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: a breath, feel those emotions, and that is self care,

839
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 1: that is self love. And then what happens is that

840
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: we're able to move through the emotion almost like a wave.

841
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,280
Speaker 1: The emotions come up and then they come back down again,

842
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: and then we're able to move forward. Maybe that's like

843
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 1: going to dinner with friends and having a laugh or

844
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 1: whatever that is. But just normalizing what you're sharing is

845
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: so important that like, we all have bad days, but

846
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,800
Speaker 1: it's really just about are we stuffing the feeling down

847
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: and not moving through it or are we really facing it.

848
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:48,240
Speaker 2: When you have a good friend or a family member

849
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 2: or a colleague and you are witnessing that they are

850
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 2: in this difficult period of transition, that their inner dialogue

851
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 2: isn't so bright and shiny, that they are really struggling

852
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 2: with self love, is there a right or a wrong

853
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 2: way to support them during that?

854
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: I like that question because when I work with couples,

855
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: sometimes one partner wants to just fix it, like if

856
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:21,439
Speaker 1: their partner. If the partner B is having a hard time,

857
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 1: partner A wants to just like fix it. Okay, what

858
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 1: can I do to make you happy? Let's do that

859
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: and move forward. Or we might start to say, oh,

860
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: but but I love you so much, but you're so

861
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 1: good at that, why would you feel sad about that?

862
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 1: We think that's helpful. Or we might say, oh, you

863
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: know what, I've been through a similar situation and I've

864
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 1: gotten out Okay. Those are like all ways that sometimes

865
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: we respond to it thinking that that's helping the person.

866
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 1: The best thing you can do when someone's having a

867
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: hard time is to just sit there and to be

868
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: with that emotion and to say how can I support you?

869
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 1: Or you know what, that sounds really hard what you're

870
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 1: going through. That must be really tough, that situation at work,

871
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 1: or you know what, the situation with your friend. Wow,

872
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:10,719
Speaker 1: that sounds really disappointing that that happened. That's what we

873
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: want to hear when we're in a tough space. We

874
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:17,279
Speaker 1: likely don't want to hear the like, oh but you'll

875
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 1: be okay, and you've been okay before. Sometimes we just

876
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: need to sit in the muck of it, you know.

877
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's so helpful. Those two important things you mentioned.

878
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 2: One validation, validating their experience, saying it's so understandable that

879
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:36,360
Speaker 2: you feel this way, and then two that buzzy special question,

880
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 2: how can I support you? Knowing that they may not

881
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 2: have an answer to that question right now, right.

882
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: One hundred percent, you may not even know what you

883
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 1: need in that moment, but knowing that someone's there for

884
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 1: you and has asked the question, you might feel more

885
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 1: comfortable to circle back later and say, you know what

886
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 1: you asked me that earlier. I wasn't sure, but here's

887
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 1: what I need or here's what could be helpful. You know,

888
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: it's just let open ended question and letting someone know

889
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 1: that you're there for them.

890
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 2: Something that I've also found to be extremely helpful when

891
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 2: I am going through moments of turbulence, when I am

892
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 2: really struggling to embrace the aspects and the goodness of

893
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 2: self love is what I like to call a joy list. Now,

894
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:26,399
Speaker 2: it's not a topic or an idea that is new

895
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 2: to society, but essentially what it is is a list

896
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 2: of things that I know that are at my disposal

897
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 2: at any given moment that bring me joy. Example, I

898
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 2: love writing. My new addition to the joy list is

899
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 2: I love reading fiction because when I was in that

900
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 2: self help whole for three years, I got to this

901
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 2: point where I was tired of feeling like something was

902
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 2: wrong with me every time I picked up a book

903
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 2: that is neither here nor there. I like going to

904
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 2: this one specific restaurant in Lower Manhattan, I like going

905
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 2: for a walk around the block I like and the

906
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 2: list keeps going right. So when I feel like I

907
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 2: have my blinders on and I can knot get out

908
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 2: of my own way, I revert to the joy list

909
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 2: and it reminds me that any of those things can

910
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 2: help lighten my mood at any given moment.

911
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 1: That's wonderful. We all need a joy list, Emily, Like literally,

912
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: I think that is so incredible, you know, having a list,

913
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 1: like you said, when you're in a dark place and

914
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 1: you can't you don't understand what could be the best

915
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 1: help at the moment, And it sounds like you have

916
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 1: like a variety of things to pick from, so at

917
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,280
Speaker 1: any moment you can kind of pick and choose what fits.

918
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 1: So I love that we.

919
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 2: Need a joy list. Everybody needs a joy list. Okay,

920
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 2: when it comes to self care, we've talked about a

921
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,280
Speaker 2: lot of different strategies that someone can implement to really

922
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 2: adopt a healthy practice. Is there anything that we're missing here?

923
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 1: Everyone who's listening, listen to your inner compass, listen to

924
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 1: your value system, what lights you up, and start there.

925
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 1: So Emily mentioned the joy list. I think that's so incredible.

926
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: Create your own list based on what matters, what lights

927
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: you up, what makes you feel alive, what makes you

928
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: feel in your body, and that can be so many things. Right,

929
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 1: we covered body, we covered like meditation, we talked about dance.

930
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 1: We talked about a lot of different things today, and

931
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 1: maybe none of it sounds good to you, but maybe

932
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 1: even if you're at home, just thinking about what lights

933
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: you up and go there. So we could have this

934
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 1: conversation for hours if we wanted to, and I would

935
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 1: do it because I love this topic.

936
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 2: We could we could have this conversation for hours, and

937
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, we know that engaging

938
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 2: in a self care practice is truly clinically proven to

939
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 2: reduce and eliminate things like anxiety and depression. So if

940
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,399
Speaker 2: you give back to yourself, I promise you that good

941
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,839
Speaker 2: things are ahead of you. You just need to take

942
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 2: a small step in the right direction and unlock that potential.

943
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 2: Boom boom boom doctor Nina Paul and a I'm so

944
00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:59,280
Speaker 2: happy that we were able to have this chat today.

945
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 2: For those that aren't following along with you just yet,

946
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 2: that want to keep up with you, give us your information.

947
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me on your show. You are

948
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:11,239
Speaker 1: so incredible, Emily, and having this conversation with you has

949
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: been so fruitful. And around Valentine's Day, I think that's

950
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: so important because we think about it in a traditional

951
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,280
Speaker 1: sense around romantic relationships, but it really is about loving

952
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 1: ourselves and then we have great relationships with ourselves and

953
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 1: other people.

954
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 2: It's so true. I'm over at Emily a Body and

955
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 2: at Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you guys next time.