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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger.

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Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love

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Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode two hundred and thirty five.

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Speaker 1: We're going to be talking about moving and home renovation,

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Speaker 1: something both of us are going through to various degrees.

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Speaker 1: We are both moving, Sarah is doing slightly more limited

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Speaker 1: home renovation, though she is doing some. So Sarah, where

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Speaker 1: are you in the house process? Right now? So right

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Speaker 1: now we are We own our new house, so that's exciting.

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Speaker 1: We've closed that part's all done and it actually was

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Speaker 1: fairly painless, so I'm very happy to report that that

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Speaker 1: worked out. But we have not moved because as we

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Speaker 1: did a walk through, we were thinking about just painting,

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Speaker 1: but then at the very last second kind of looked

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Speaker 1: at the floor and decided that it was time to

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Speaker 1: do the floor, and then speaking with multiple people. No

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Speaker 1: spoilers for the rest of this episode, but apparently it's

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Speaker 1: much better to do your floor before you live in sethouse.

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Speaker 1: So our rental is flexible and we can just give

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Speaker 1: them a thirty day notice when we're ready to depart

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Speaker 1: and end our contract. So right now we're in limbo.

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Speaker 1: We're working on setting up the floor stuff, making our

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Speaker 1: floor choices, and hopefully expediting that process so that we

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Speaker 1: don't have to rent and own at the same time

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Speaker 1: for too many months. Yeah, no, floors are all kinds

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Speaker 1: of fun. We went with golden oak stain in case

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Speaker 1: you are curious, are you doing carpet anywhere or just

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Speaker 1: the no carpet. But we are actually kind of like

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Speaker 1: paralyzed with indecision about like wood versus luxury, vinyl versus

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Speaker 1: tile versus I don't even know. So we did kind

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Speaker 1: of find a great store that's local that I think

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Speaker 1: made the whole process a little bit less confusing, So

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Speaker 1: I'm happy about that. Well that's cool. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, having good people, you know, and you think

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Speaker 1: we'll show up. It's all the good stuff, and you

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Speaker 1: guys moved in what was it December twenty eighteen, Right,

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Speaker 1: that's when you lasted December twenty eighteen, and we'll talk

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Speaker 1: We can talk about real estate later in the episode.

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Speaker 1: But it's kind of hilarious how how everything ended up

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Speaker 1: working out, but it is what it is. Yeah, yeah, Well,

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Speaker 1: we are in the process of selling our home, which

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Speaker 1: is all kinds of fun as well, but we don't

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Speaker 1: need to go too much into that since we have

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Speaker 1: not in fact closed yet, so hopefully that will happen eventually.

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Speaker 1: So we're going to do this episode sort of Q

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Speaker 1: and a format question for both of us to answer,

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Speaker 1: such as required or makes sense with this. So the

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Speaker 1: first question, why are both of you moving? Or why

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Speaker 1: did you move? So Sarah, why did you guys decide

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Speaker 1: to move? Okay, we decided to move this time around

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Speaker 1: for a purely financial calculation type decision. We were renting

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Speaker 1: and it was very reasonable. I think I disclosed on

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Speaker 1: a prior episode that the rent came out to like

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Speaker 1: seven percent of our take home pay, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, this is great, no commitment. We had

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Speaker 1: also come off a very stretched out and frustrating selling process,

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Speaker 1: and we weren't excited to go through that again. Spoiler alert.

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Speaker 1: If we had rented out that home, let's just say,

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Speaker 1: that would have been a more advantageous financial position to

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Speaker 1: be in right now. But the thing is, hindsight is

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Speaker 1: very much twenty twenty and we had no idea. But

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Speaker 1: it is rather hilarious to look at Zilo, which lists

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Speaker 1: our Miami Beach home for like double what we sold

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Speaker 1: it for two years ago. But you know, whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: what it is, okay. So in terms of right now,

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Speaker 1: there's actually a great calculator via New York Times where

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Speaker 1: you can put in different variables about your home and

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Speaker 1: how much you're renting it for, and it will kind

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Speaker 1: of spit out an equivalent mortgage, like if you can

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Speaker 1: rent for less than xyz, then it's worth renting, and

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Speaker 1: if not, then it makes sense to probably buy. And

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Speaker 1: that calculator was always kind of equivocal for us, So

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Speaker 1: we felt like, Okay, not a huge disadvantage to rent,

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Speaker 1: We're comfortable doing it, why not do it. Our rent

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Speaker 1: went up hugely. In fact, South Florida is one of

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Speaker 1: the places rents have gone up across the country, but

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Speaker 1: South Florida has been one of the hardest hit areas

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Speaker 1: with that. I think it was like forty nine percent

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Speaker 1: in certain areas of my I know, like crazy, And

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Speaker 1: so it just no longer like calculator like no longer worked.

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Speaker 1: And then we paired that with the fact that we

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Speaker 1: no longer have uncertainty about whether we like the neighborhood.

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Speaker 1: We know we like the neighborhood. We moved here in

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Speaker 1: part for the schools which were not currently attending, but

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Speaker 1: we really just like the people. We like the safety.

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Speaker 1: I like that I can go run even when it's

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Speaker 1: dark and feel comple letally fine about that. So and

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Speaker 1: the location works really really well for both of our jobs.

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Speaker 1: And my husband is at a place where he feels

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Speaker 1: confident that he really likes his job. So I already

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Speaker 1: knew I liked my job, that like his, was fairly new,

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Speaker 1: so it was more uncertainty. So putting all of those

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Speaker 1: variables together, it just made sense. We were very I guess,

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Speaker 1: kind of like casual looking for houses. We went to

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Speaker 1: a couple that like went on the market, but it

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Speaker 1: was more like I just put something on the list,

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Speaker 1: ser of like, hey, if anybody's selling, like let me know,

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Speaker 1: and then the right thing just happened to come up

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Speaker 1: and we went there and it fit, and so yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're doing it, and we are very excited to get

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Speaker 1: one extra room out of the deal. That I guess

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Speaker 1: is another part of it. That we felt motivated to

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Speaker 1: have each kid have their own room. Yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: certainly one of our considerations. You know, we wanted the

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Speaker 1: kids to have their rooms, you know, my husband and

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Speaker 1: I to both have our own workspaces. And we had

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Speaker 1: been semi looking, you know, the whole Zilo stocking whatever,

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Speaker 1: since we knew Henry was coming. And the issue, of

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Speaker 1: course is that there has never been that much on

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Speaker 1: the market that is big enough, and that is in

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Speaker 1: our elementary school catchment area. So if we considered ourselves

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Speaker 1: very very location limited, that obviously limited our options a lot.

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Speaker 1: So we had also engaged a firm to come look

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Speaker 1: at our house, our old house, and to see what

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Speaker 1: it would take to add two more bedrooms, like to

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Speaker 1: do an attic conversion to put in two bedrooms and

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Speaker 1: a bathroom in the attic, And we certainly could have

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Speaker 1: done that, like we had plans drawn up for it,

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Speaker 1: and we had thought about going for it, like a

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Speaker 1: COVID hit. We were trying to figure everything out, and

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Speaker 1: in that we wound up looking at this house that

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Speaker 1: I'm currently recording from the pictures. The real estate pictures

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Speaker 1: did not look all that appealing to me, but then

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Speaker 1: we elected to drive past it, and I have no

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Speaker 1: idea what they were thinking with the photo. Anyway, it

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Speaker 1: looks so much better than you know it was conveyed

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Speaker 1: from there, so we went and toward it. It needed

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Speaker 1: a ton of work, that's why it had been on

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Speaker 1: the market for so long. Eventually we got the same

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Speaker 1: construction firm to come in and look at it with

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Speaker 1: us and to let us know, you know, what it

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Speaker 1: would take to redo it, and wound up going for it.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it's been a long process. We closed in

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Speaker 1: November of twenty twenty, which is after looking at the

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Speaker 1: house in June. It just took a long time for

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Speaker 1: negotiations and everything closed in November. Started construction officially in March,

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Speaker 1: but had done so much planning prior to that, and

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Speaker 1: then moved in the first week of January of twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty two. So you know, a lot of time has

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Speaker 1: gone by in the meantime, but you know it's going

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Speaker 1: to be fun, I hope. So the second question is

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Speaker 1: why renovate because everyone says it is so painful. Sarah,

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Speaker 1: you are of the opinion that renovation is painful. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I just find it like so boring. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: Like my eyes glaze over when I walk into a loas.

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Speaker 1: I have decision fatigue immediately upon looking at colors of anything.

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Speaker 1: I just and my husband tends to be like somewhat opinionated,

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Speaker 1: but also very slow to make said decisions. So I

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Speaker 1: think that just like makes it even worse because I

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Speaker 1: would probably just be like whatever, this, that and this,

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Speaker 1: move on, like, but I can't totally do that because

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Speaker 1: I don't think that would fly necessarily. Although we did

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Speaker 1: choose paint colors at least online in about thirty minutes

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Speaker 1: for the entire house. That's good. That's good. So I

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Speaker 1: don't know, but we did decide that, you know, the

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Speaker 1: floors were kind of like outdated, and again, as I mentioned,

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Speaker 1: it is just so much harder to do floors when

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Speaker 1: you live in a home because there are parts you

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Speaker 1: can't walk on. And we're planning to do like the

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Speaker 1: kitchen and kind of like all the all the areas

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Speaker 1: that would be high traffic in the house. We're not

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Speaker 1: doing the bedrooms. The bedroom floors are actually excellent there

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Speaker 1: would they're already done. But yeah, we're just feel like

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Speaker 1: our hand is being forced and painting just seems like

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Speaker 1: a logical step. But other than that, we're not doing

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Speaker 1: any major renovations. We're lucky that the people who lived

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Speaker 1: there prior did a big renovation where they actually enclosed

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Speaker 1: a big porch and they turned it into a what

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Speaker 1: they call it a game room because they were really

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Speaker 1: into ping pong. Actually, okay, we are not using it

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Speaker 1: as a pingpong room. We are using this kind of long,

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Speaker 1: somewhat narrow room as a workout area slash office space

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Speaker 1: for my husband and myself. We love what they did, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but we didn't have to do it, so it was great. No,

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Speaker 1: that's nice. I mean, obviously, the ideal would be to

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Speaker 1: have something that is move in ready, that is absolutely

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Speaker 1: as you want it, in a good location. But in

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Speaker 1: many cases, if there's anything that you are you may

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Speaker 1: wind up paying quite a bit extra for that versus

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Speaker 1: what it might cost to renovate, or you may not

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Speaker 1: even get it. So in our case, the issue is

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Speaker 1: that people do not build seven bedroom homes, and so

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Speaker 1: if you need home offices, you need rooms for five children,

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Speaker 1: like you can't have a five bedroom like you need

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Speaker 1: seven bedrooms, and again people do not build those. So

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Speaker 1: we were either looking at buying land, which there are

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Speaker 1: very limited plots in this elementary district right like we're

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Speaker 1: in an orb, like it's very near in suburbs. You

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Speaker 1: can't just buy land. And you know, what it would

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Speaker 1: cost to build something new is quite high. So you know,

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Speaker 1: I haven't totally run all the numbers. I mean, because

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Speaker 1: we like this house too, but if you wanted enough bedrooms,

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Speaker 1: you were going to have to renovate something that already exists,

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Speaker 1: that was older, that was built when people did that

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Speaker 1: sort of thing. And you know, we did, like honestly

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Speaker 1: everything to this house. We have a new roof, we

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Speaker 1: have a new HVAC system, We have about sixty percent

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Speaker 1: new windows, gutted the master suite and the kitchen combined

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Speaker 1: for like useless tiny rooms to make a playroom, you know,

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Speaker 1: so aided the whole house, redid all the floors, like everything.

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Speaker 1: There's all new toilets. I mean, it's just because they

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Speaker 1: were old and gross and not working right, like I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, so it sounds like one step from just

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Speaker 1: a tear down. Yeah, I couldn't have turned the house down.

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Speaker 1: I mean that's because it's historically preserved. So given that

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Speaker 1: that's not an option, you had to redo basically the

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Speaker 1: entire inside. But you know, it's funny because you see

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Speaker 1: this on the other end with selling, a lot of

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Speaker 1: people sort of do lack a bit of imagination when

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Speaker 1: it comes to renovation. Like there are people who walk

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Speaker 1: in and be like, I don't like the color of

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Speaker 1: the paint, and you're like, okay, I've I've got an idea,

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Speaker 1: you could paint it. So that's so funny. That is

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Speaker 1: so funny. The minor cosmetic stuff. I remember I would

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Speaker 1: make those kind of comments on My husband rolled its eyes.

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Speaker 1: It's like, okay, calm down, oh my god, Like you

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Speaker 1: can in fact paint this room. You know, microwaves like

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Speaker 1: another thing that could very easily be swapped out, or

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Speaker 1: I don't like the oven, Like guess what, you know,

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Speaker 1: for a rather small amount of money, you can purchase

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Speaker 1: a new oven, although they're hard to get right now

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Speaker 1: because of various supply chain inches. But you know so,

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Speaker 1: I mean, yes, everyone says renovation is painful, but there

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Speaker 1: are a couple of things you can do. I mean,

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Speaker 1: one is just make sure you are adequately budgeting for it.

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Speaker 1: Do not undertake any project where the estimated expenses you

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Speaker 1: are getting are close to the maximum of what you

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Speaker 1: can afford, because it is going to always cost more.

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Speaker 1: And I have no idea why construction works this way,

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Speaker 1: Like why is this an industry where that is the

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Speaker 1: accepted like way that it works. But it does. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I can just I can tell you it doesn't. We

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Speaker 1: we are not far off what our initial estimates were,

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Speaker 1: but it's still more right, Like there's just stuff that

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Speaker 1: comes up and it is going to take more time. Again,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure why construction is allowed to work this way,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't get to just say, hey, my book

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Speaker 1: is running a couple months long then expected, and think

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Speaker 1: everyone's going to be a okay with that. But whatever,

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Speaker 1: construction does work that way. You know the crash jobs

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Speaker 1: people see on HDTV, like there are things that have

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Speaker 1: been like taped in place for the reveal. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: go that quickly, like even with people working around the

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Speaker 1: clock that they do on some of those So and

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Speaker 1: I've read some really interesting, like expose's on people who

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Speaker 1: had those kind of HDTV flash renovations and like they

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Speaker 1: didn't do key things so that it looked really good

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Speaker 1: for five minutes, but like they didn't seal the floor,

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Speaker 1: so they didn't do this or that. It's like, well, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: so probably quality takes a little time. Yeah, yeah, so whatever.

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Speaker 1: I mean, as long as you understand that going in,

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Speaker 1: then you can just be annoyed by certain things as

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Speaker 1: opposed to like horribly anxious when it costs more than

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Speaker 1: you thought you do. But you know, all right, let's

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Speaker 1: take a quick break and then we will be back

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Speaker 1: on more on moving in renovation. Well, we are back

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Speaker 1: talking moving and renovation. The next question, what can I

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Speaker 1: do to keep it from being a complete nightmare? Is

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Speaker 1: this what you're worried about with doing more extensive renovations

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Speaker 1: like I would be, I just I don't have a bandwidth,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to have to call this person

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Speaker 1: because this person broke this person. And you know, I've

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Speaker 1: heard like terrible stories about contractors who quit in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the job and things like that, and it's

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Speaker 1: very hard to like, once someone started something, if they

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Speaker 1: mess it up, you're sort of stuck it away. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and somebody else might not want to take that on,

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Speaker 1: or they might but then they might be like, well, no,

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Speaker 1: I have to charge double what they even start. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. My brain goes to a lot of worst

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Speaker 1: case scenario. Yeah, so, I mean, the one thing I

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Speaker 1: can say is when you have, you know, a big job,

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Speaker 1: like hiring a general contractor is almost always going to

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Speaker 1: be a wise idea, because yeah, you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be calling all the subcontractors and figuring out what goes first,

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Speaker 1: like do I do the painting first or the floors first.

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Speaker 1: I mean there's not actually like there's there's a right answer,

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Speaker 1: but you probably aren't going to know it, you know,

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Speaker 1: because you haven't done this before. And if you do this, well,

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Speaker 1: like I mean, so they will warranty work as well.

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Speaker 1: So we had when I did the kitchen in my

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Speaker 1: old house back in twenty eighteen, we had we repainted

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Speaker 1: the cupboards, and everyone had thought it would be a

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Speaker 1: fairly simple job, and then for whatever reason it was not.

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Speaker 1: It had to be redone twice, but we never had

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Speaker 1: to pay an extra cent for it, because the price

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Speaker 1: they had given us was the price it was going

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Speaker 1: to be and then you know, the various subcontractors had

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Speaker 1: to like redo it when they did it wrong that time,

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Speaker 1: they brought somebody in again to like, you know, do

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Speaker 1: it again, And so that's what you're looking for. If

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Speaker 1: you can read this in reviews on you know, I

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Speaker 1: would definitely do your research when you're hiring a general contractor,

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Speaker 1: like talk to anyone you know who has done a

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Speaker 1: home renovation, Like if they liked their contractor, that is

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Speaker 1: a great sign, like, you know, you should be excited

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Speaker 1: about that, you know, because they'll have relationships with all

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Speaker 1: the subcontractors, the electricians, plumbers, painters, roofers, hvat, carpenters, whatever

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Speaker 1: it is you're doing, and they know what order it

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Speaker 1: should go in. Yeah, there are definitely horror stories out

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Speaker 1: there of all this, but you know, so one thing

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Speaker 1: you could do again is if you get bids from

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Speaker 1: multiple places, keep in mind if somebody bids lower but

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Speaker 1: they have worse reviews, like don't actually go with that

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Speaker 1: person because it's a fake number, like that's not what

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Speaker 1: it's actually going to cost. And so I would say

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Speaker 1: you would prioritize good reviews. Somebody having been in business

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Speaker 1: for decades maybe have been independently audited various things, like

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Speaker 1: any of that is going to be a far better

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Speaker 1: sign than the actual price. This is somewhere where I'd

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Speaker 1: say you don't necessarily want to go with the lowest bid,

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Speaker 1: like go with something that seems reasonable, but is with

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Speaker 1: somebody's who's reputable. Even so, like you're gonna make thousands

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Speaker 1: of decisions just you just have to prepare yourself for it,

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Speaker 1: and decisions on things you probably didn't care about before,

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Speaker 1: like the trim on the carpet, on the stair runners,

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Speaker 1: in the shape of your your drawer pulls. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: it helps to be a satisficer where you know good

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Speaker 1: enough is good enough, because most things can, in fact

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Speaker 1: be changed if you hate it. Like we repainted the bedroom,

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Speaker 1: like the master bedroom, because I didn't like the color,

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Speaker 1: so we had to repaint it. We did. It's fine.

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Speaker 1: You know, the first coat had only gone on and

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Speaker 1: they could just get the color and the second coat

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Speaker 1: for a different color. That was all good. And you know,

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Speaker 1: the as with Sarah was saying, like if you are

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Speaker 1: doing group decisions, it might help to as we discussed

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Speaker 1: with Eve Rodski a few weeks ago, have complete ownership

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Speaker 1: of certain areas, Like one party might be completely responsible

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Speaker 1: for say, HVAC decisions, and another party could be completely

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Speaker 1: responsible for hardware and paint colors or something like that.

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Speaker 1: You know it. Where you wide up with problems is

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Speaker 1: if one person is doing a lot of the legwork

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Speaker 1: to make decisions and then the other person somehow winds

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Speaker 1: up with VETO power. I mean that just is like

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Speaker 1: it's going to make for an infuriating situation because that's

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Speaker 1: basically implying that the person doing the leg work works

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Speaker 1: for the person who's making the VETO decisions. And that's

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Speaker 1: that's not a romantic relationship. That's just somebody's power trip.

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Speaker 1: So I would get out of that situation if you're

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Speaker 1: in it, like assign you know, either refuse to do

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Speaker 1: it or like hire somebody make all the decisions. Who

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Speaker 1: can then report to that guy or your girl or

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Speaker 1: whoever it is who's I don't think that's our problem

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Speaker 1: at all. I think I would gladly just not make

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Speaker 1: any decisions. I just don't want like six months to

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Speaker 1: go by where we're paying the women two plays. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: you know, assign deadlines like you know, listen, we need

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Speaker 1: to get out. That's why we moved in with the

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Speaker 1: stuff still here, We're like, we got to get out

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Speaker 1: of it, you know, eventually. Also because when you're in

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Speaker 1: a place, you see stuff that also then you need

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Speaker 1: to do that you wouldn't have known about before and

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Speaker 1: figured them out. So anyway, all right, any practical tips, wait,

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Speaker 1: we forget the satisfy. So the satisfy well, just you know,

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Speaker 1: if you good enough is good enough? Right, like, if

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Speaker 1: it really helps to get in your head that it

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to be perfect. Most things can be changed.

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Speaker 1: You know, it might be expensive, it might be a hassle,

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Speaker 1: but they can in fact be changed. So if you

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Speaker 1: have that in mind, then it turns down the pressure

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Speaker 1: at least a little bit. You know, it's hard to

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Speaker 1: bat a thousand. Like again, if you're making a hundred decisions,

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Speaker 1: like the odds that all of those are exactly right?

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Speaker 1: Are it? Just minimal? I like it? I like it,

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Speaker 1: don't try for perfection, but you're right having that open

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Speaker 1: minded this so like, eh, if I don't like that

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Speaker 1: in five years, ten years, whatever, that is something that

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Speaker 1: could theoretically be changed or maybe by then you just

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Speaker 1: won't care exactly. That's kind of how I feel about

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Speaker 1: my shower tile at the moment. I don't like what

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Speaker 1: I do chose, but whatever, it's going to grow on

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Speaker 1: me and it's fine. It's just our I mean, there's

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Speaker 1: some element of that that. It's like, Wow, I've built this

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Speaker 1: bathroom from scratch. I could have chosen any tile in

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Speaker 1: the world, and I chose this, which I don't like.

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Speaker 1: Like what was I thinking. I don't know. I think

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Speaker 1: I felt like I had to make a decision. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to see this tile now I'm able to put

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Speaker 1: a picture up somewhere. Apparently it's really nice tile. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. And it was like doubled in priced since

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Speaker 1: I chose it, so at least I got a good

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Speaker 1: deal on it. But wow, and you could probably see it.

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Speaker 1: One it off my back, come chip it off. Put

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Speaker 1: something that was just plain white there instead. All right,

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Speaker 1: So Sarah, you have done this, any tips for moving locally,

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Speaker 1: Like what are you guys doing? That's gonna yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: like trying to remember. I mean last time we definitely

396
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,359
Speaker 1: had we didn't do any of the packing. We completely

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00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 1: outsourced that. We did move a few things on our own.

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Speaker 1: We could do a lot more of that this time,

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Speaker 1: because I mean last time our local move was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, a thirty five minute drive and this time

401
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 1: it's one mile. So I think we'll probably do some

402
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: of that ourself. I'm intrigued by like the unpacking service.

403
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,640
Speaker 1: I want to know how much that costs. Although it's

404
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 1: probably a bad idea because then they've decide where to

405
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 1: put everything, and like you're probably gonna have different opinions

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00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 1: where you want things, and then you don't want to

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Speaker 1: have to move things like re you know what I mean, like, oh,

408
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 1: they chose that closet to do that, I don't know,

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00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 1: so we'll see. Yeah. Well, and also if you are

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Speaker 1: getting different furniture, it like wouldn't even work because how

411
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Speaker 1: would they know what to you know, And we didn't

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Speaker 1: even have all our furniture delivered. I mean we still

413
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Speaker 1: are getting stuff because we got rid of a fair

414
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Speaker 1: amount of Ikea type particle board furniture that we had

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Speaker 1: collected over the years. That was just it's recommended that

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Speaker 1: you don't move it. We have moved some of our

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Speaker 1: Ikia furniture multiple times in it hastood the well, apparently

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Speaker 1: you guys are good at it. Then your construction I

419
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Speaker 1: gotta say, like, yeah, I, Josh and I are waiting

420
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Speaker 1: for the part for like the part in life when

421
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,199
Speaker 1: we're too like fancy for Ika we there. Sometimes we

422
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,959
Speaker 1: go West Elms and we're like, ooh, we're probably about

423
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 1: thirty to forty percent West Elm and the rest. I

424
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 1: think it's because of the age of our kids, Like

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00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 1: they still wreck everything, so why why would I invest

426
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 1: in like super nice stuff. I totally agree a four

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00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: year old who likes to adorn everything and scrape things

428
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, well just I mean, so yeah, I've

429
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,640
Speaker 1: been intrigued by the unpacking as well, given how much

430
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 1: time I've been unpacking. But I don't know. I think

431
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: we did want to like go through it and choose

432
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: places ourselves, and we're making progress. I mean, you know,

433
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 1: and we say, do you try to throw or out

434
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,719
Speaker 1: or donate as much as possible, like create a giant

435
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 1: junk pile somewhere. I don't know your garage, just you know,

436
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: label whatever furniture that is not going to make it

437
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 1: that you're going to donate or sell, which again, you

438
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,199
Speaker 1: can't donate stuff that can't be sold. I guess just

439
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,439
Speaker 1: a public service announcement here. If you are planning on

440
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: donating something to a charity. They are not like giving

441
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 1: people who are who don't have furniture. Like what they

442
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 1: do is they sell the furniture and then they give

443
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: the money to people to use as they you know,

444
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,159
Speaker 1: do or to support their programs or something. So if

445
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: they can't sell it, they don't want it. So if

446
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 1: it's like I mean, you just can't donate garbage basically

447
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 1: as our public service announcement here. So with that in mind,

448
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: you might want to create a junk pile of stuff

449
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: or recycling pile and then call a junk calling service

450
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: that can then determine if it is junk, if it

451
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 1: can be recycled, if they have a program for that.

452
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 1: So you know, that's the way to go with that.

453
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: We did hire a packing crew to box up our stuff.

454
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 1: It is expensive unless you're going to do this over

455
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 1: a long period of time, like driving stuff to your

456
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: new house. It's it's just going to be more work

457
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 1: than you can do. And also i'd say give some

458
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 1: compassion to yourself when you are then unpacking stuff that

459
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: is in essence garbage, because it is impossible to have

460
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: gone through all of it beforehand. And like you just

461
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: don't see stuff necessarily, and like unless you did just

462
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 1: mariecondo your entire house, you're gonna wind up with things like, oh,

463
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: I didn't know I had this many glass vases. Like

464
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 1: you don't think to just like throw out or recycle

465
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: glass vases necessarily, and so you probably have them somewhere

466
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 1: in a curio cabinet and then you wind up unpacking

467
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: all of them. You're like, I just don't need this

468
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 1: many vases, like you know, so it just happens. It happens.

469
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 1: The junk calling service, I think is underrated, Like people

470
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: will you know, keep stuff around for ages, thinking that

471
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,400
Speaker 1: they're going to like haul it off themselves or figure

472
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: out what's recyclable and what's not. And there are actually

473
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: great services that will like sort that all out for

474
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 1: you and take it all away. And it's like for them,

475
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 1: it's so easy, and for you it's so much mental

476
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 1: language because that's like literally what they it's it's a

477
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 1: fairly competitive industry actually, because you don't need a huge

478
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 1: amount of capital or whatever to get into it, like

479
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,159
Speaker 1: you need to hire a few guys and have a

480
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: few trucks. So probably there are a fair number of

481
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: local companies. There's also like national franchises, you know, junk

482
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,439
Speaker 1: dogs or a jade dogs or whatever it is. You know,

483
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: there's one I don't know if they're still in business.

484
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: It's called like college hunks hauling junk that was around.

485
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: You know, there's just a lot of them. So definitely

486
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: a veil yourself of this possibility when you're doing I

487
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,439
Speaker 1: would also ask your movers, like when you're getting bids

488
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 1: on this, what items will be more trouble or expensive

489
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: to pack and move than necessary. So often things like

490
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 1: anything that is framed, they are going to wind up

491
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 1: putting in a special framing box because they don't like

492
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 1: they're not allowed to break things, so they don't know

493
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 1: if it's like they have to treat everything as valuable.

494
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 1: And so if you framed some twenty dollars poster you

495
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,919
Speaker 1: got at a museum in college, like just bring that

496
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 1: over yourself, Like it is not worth a twenty dollars

497
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 1: box and frame to bring that over, so you know,

498
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 1: do that. Probably Lamps like table lamps are another one

499
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 1: that they're going to put so much packing around it

500
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 1: because again they are not allowed to break things. So

501
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: if it's like a ten dollars our thrift store table

502
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: lamp that you got. Just bring that over yourself, because

503
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,479
Speaker 1: it's going to make you mad that you spent like

504
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: thirty dollars on the special box to get it over

505
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: to your new house. Often live plants they can't do

506
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: as well. So that's that's one that you're you're probably

507
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: gonna need to do. And then pull out anything you

508
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 1: think you're going to need for the first I would

509
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 1: say two to three weeks. I was thinking, you know,

510
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: people told me, oh, your first few days, pull out

511
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 1: what you'll need for the first few days. Like that,

512
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 1: like massively underestimated how long it was going to take

513
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 1: us to get through our stuff. I didn't find most

514
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 1: of my pots and pans for three weeks, and so

515
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: because it just happened to be in the bottom box,

516
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 1: like it was the last box we got to in

517
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: the kitchen for for whatever reason, and so we were

518
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: working with one sauce pan, one frying pan, and one

519
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 1: like bacon cooking pan that for whatever reason like made

520
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 1: it out, and so that's what we had to cook

521
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: with for three weeks. So I would recommend being a

522
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: little bit more judicious and thinking what do I use

523
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,239
Speaker 1: in a two week period and that stuff. I mean

524
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: we're talking towels, laundry, detergent, any of that sort of thing.

525
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,880
Speaker 1: Make sure you have Did you kick your kids out

526
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 1: or send them somewhere so you could unpack, because I

527
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: think I really want to do that. No, I mean,

528
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 1: you know, I especially if your kids are like old

529
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: enough that they could just watch TV. I'm not sure

530
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: that it's really going to be all that necessary, you

531
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, or I have to put

532
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: the TV in to well, do that first, like we

533
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: put up, we put up the computer and television like

534
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: absolutely first, right like that. That's and plus they have

535
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: their devices, right, so I mean, I don't know. I

536
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: feel like modern children who are over about age six,

537
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: like haven't built in entertainment like in the form of

538
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 1: a device. If you need to avail yourselves of that,

539
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: obviously you can't have them under foot while movers are

540
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 1: actually moving things in and out. So but they I

541
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,160
Speaker 1: mean our movers again, within a local move, they work

542
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 1: basically like an eight to four day for packing, So

543
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 1: the children were in school during that time and then

544
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: when the moving crew was there, they were you know

545
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: again the eight to four time they were in school,

546
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: and so then that just left a couple hours in

547
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: the evening when things sort of took a longer time

548
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: one of the days to finish up. So we just

549
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: kind of sent them off to one corner of the house,

550
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,199
Speaker 1: like kept them over there and out of you know,

551
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: out of reak. I think mine would be all up

552
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: in the boxes wanting to unpack. I don't know. I

553
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 1: think I'm going to send them away somehow, like tor

554
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 1: nanny's or to a friend sleep not for like a

555
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 1: long time, but like, hey, what a good night to

556
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: sleep over your friend's house. Yeah, I mean sure, if

557
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I'm just saying, like,

558
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: if it doesn't work out, like you you know, it

559
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,360
Speaker 1: would wouldn't be worth Yeah, you're right, Yeah, you're totally right,

560
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 1: and you're right, Like I always have it in my

561
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 1: mind that I'm going to unpack everything in you want.

562
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: It's just not I just don't think it's reasonable to

563
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: expect that of yourself. I mean, because it's not like

564
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: you're going to stop working and stop having three children,

565
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 1: like they they're all still going to be there. Like

566
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: we've tried to kind of pace ourselves on this that

567
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: it was so overwhelming at first. But if you commit

568
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: to doing, like if both adults in the household, let's

569
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 1: say do two boxes a day, well for a day,

570
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: you know, twenty eight a week, like I don't know,

571
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: you have a hundred boxes, that's four weeks. Like you're done.

572
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: And if the children aren't doing anything, then that's additional.

573
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: You just have to keep going. Like you don't necessarily

574
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: feel on Tuesday night like unpacking two boxes, but like

575
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 1: you probably should do at least one, and you know,

576
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: know that you'll do three on the weekend or whatever,

577
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: but just to maintain that pace, so it's keeps moving forward. No,

578
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Ugh, I want to be done. It's

579
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 1: a while off. I mean, we're not done, but it's

580
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: not the end of the world. I mean, it's just

581
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: it's a process. It's like it's not going to be perfect,

582
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: but eventually it will be done. And you know, I say,

583
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: as somebody who just spent hours yesterday waiting for the

584
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: furniture to get delivered that wasn't delivered. It just you know,

585
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: it's fine one day at a time, day time at least,

586
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: we don't Oh, I know what I wanted to mention

587
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 1: related to moving, which is moving school because you didn't

588
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: do it this time, but I did do it last time,

589
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: and I guess I would share that we did move

590
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: in the middle of the school year. It was not

591
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: the worst thing. We moved like over winter break, so

592
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, you left for the holiday and

593
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: then you started at a new school. I think it

594
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:17,239
Speaker 1: was mildly stressful for Annabelle, but she got over it

595
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: pretty quickly. She was going in first grade from one

596
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: really good public school to another one. I have one regret,

597
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 1: which is that Cameron went from like a reggio style

598
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: preschool to like a much more regimented one, and that

599
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 1: is like a contrast. So if I could have done

600
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: it all over again, I would have looked for a

601
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: school with more similar vibes because I feel like, all

602
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: of a sudden he was in trouble for things that

603
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: were like charming and cute at the first school, and

604
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: that's like a root awakening. So I mean, he survived.

605
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: But if you're going to switch your kids in the

606
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 1: middle of a year, you might want to at least

607
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 1: think about, like does the school have similary disciplinary processes

608
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: and philosophies, If possible because I could have like, but

609
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: I know the local landscape as well. Like now I'm like, oh,

610
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: it would have been obvious. I could have sent him

611
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: here or here, and I didn't know. You can't get

612
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: everything right. I mean, you just can't make every decision perfectly.

613
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: It's you have to sort of give yourself some compassion

614
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: understanding for this. There's so many decisions to be made,

615
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: and they won't all be perfect we I mean, which

616
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: leads us to our question of re establishing or improving

617
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 1: upon routines in a new place, because when you think

618
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: about many of your routines turn out to be somewhat

619
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: place based. I mean, they're based on your space, and

620
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 1: they will change when you move, and especially when you

621
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 1: have a big family, that can be very disruptive, and

622
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: probably more so for many of our listeners who are

623
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 1: accustomed to building very good routines. I mean, if we

624
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: had listeners whose lives were chaotic all the time, I'd

625
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 1: be like, whatever, it's now chaotic in a new place,

626
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: Like so what, but that is probably not our listeners.

627
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: Our listeners have thought through every detail of their day

628
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,479
Speaker 1: to optimize and now they have to change it. So

629
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: I mean there's some things you just can't. No, we

630
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: had become accustomed to our local school buses picking up

631
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: our kids at our driveway. We now know that that

632
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: does not happen universally, and our buses don't come up

633
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: our street, don't come up our hill. I don't know.

634
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: If it's hard to turn around, I'd be happy to

635
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: have them turn around in my driveway, but whatever, I

636
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: don't know. If there's a process you could petition for that.

637
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: The key thing here is they pick them up at

638
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: the bottom of the hill. It's a long way down.

639
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,479
Speaker 1: You know, they could walk through our yard, but our

640
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: neighbors have put like hedges right at the edge. They'd

641
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: be in the road there. It's a busy road where

642
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: the intersection crosses. Like. We tried it for one day

643
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: and it was like no, no. So the older boys

644
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: get driven to school, which is it's very quick for

645
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 1: both of them, and because we didn't want them waiting

646
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: in the dark at the bottom of the hill in

647
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: this busy road. But they can take the bus home.

648
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: They take the bus home and because we trust them

649
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 1: to get out off and you know, make their way

650
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 1: up the hill, that they can do that. But are

651
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 1: they at the same stone, like losing ones and make

652
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: ones in high school. The elementary school age kids just

653
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: we have because our nanny went to wait for them.

654
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: Like the first day, she said, the bus driver was

655
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 1: like laying on his horn trying to get people to

656
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: stop because they have to come around a curve and so,

657
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: you know, he didn't open the door until traffic will

658
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: stop both directions, like so till somebody came along and

659
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: had stopped, you know, so that they would stop the

660
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: rest of the traffic. But I was just like, oh

661
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: my god, like no, like, and I don't want her

662
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: waiting there like you know, to on a busy corner.

663
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: So anyway, she now drives them and picks them up.

664
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: Driving is easy. Picking up is a bit of a

665
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: pain because it's the car line, which apparently we have

666
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 1: a very intense car line. Usually when I would pick

667
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: them up, I would do what we call student pickup,

668
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: which is you park and you go right to the

669
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 1: door and they come out, and it's very quick. But

670
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: since she often has the toddler with her that pickup time,

671
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 1: because we can't guarantee we'll be here, you be able

672
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,760
Speaker 1: to take him for you know, the thirty forty minutes

673
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 1: it would be to go that she does the car line,

674
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: and it's a long car line. That was our local

675
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 1: elementary intent. Car Linne. I don't miss it at all,

676
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: So you know, we've had to change our routines based

677
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: on that. But you know, like if I'm here, you know,

678
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 1: and he's sleep, for instance, I don't Usually she doesn't

679
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: have to wake him up to take him and I'll

680
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: let him nap or whatever. But yeah, we don't want

681
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 1: to be switching back and forth daily from one way

682
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: to another, and so we just said, well, we'll do

683
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: the pickup. But yeah, it's you know, it is. What

684
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: it is. The routine for us that I think is

685
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: going to change that I'm kind of looking forward to

686
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:51,879
Speaker 1: is that they're going to be all going to bed

687
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 1: in their own rooms. So I think that we'll listen.

688
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie on all of their floors

689
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 1: like you can. So either we'll figure out some sort

690
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 1: of rotation or maybe it'll just be like a natural

691
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 1: end to that process. And then the other thing is

692
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: that there are a lot more kids in the very

693
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: immediate area, some of which my kids already know. So

694
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that lends itself to more like around the

695
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: block kind of playing. One of the girls is Anvil's agent,

696
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 1: takes tennis lessons in our complex where they ride. She

697
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 1: rides her own bike to the lesson, and I'm like,

698
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: oh my god, Adamo could transport herself to an activity,

699
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,399
Speaker 1: Like how cool is that? So I'm excited for those

700
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: kinds of routines. So that's gonna be nice. And yeah,

701
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: there's obviously going to be like the bus thing is

702
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: kind of a you know, unfortunate thing that was not anticipated.

703
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 1: But you know, there's other routines that have gotten better.

704
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 1: I mean, among other things, like the baby. We have

705
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 1: not had middle of the night wake ups. It's just

706
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: that I think we're slightly further from him and now

707
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: that he has his own room and so maybe he

708
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: wakes up, but we don't hear it, and he's not

709
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 1: looking traumatized in the morning. So given that he's over

710
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,879
Speaker 1: two years old, we're just going to like run with it.

711
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: And you know, I mean there's some nice things like

712
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: my husband and I now have a fireplace in our room.

713
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 1: You know, we convert it was because it's such an

714
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 1: old house like it was at one point, Like how

715
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: they heated the room, but you know, we converted it

716
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 1: to a gas fireplace, so we turn it on with

717
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: a remote control and it's kind of nice because you

718
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: can just sit there and have a little you know,

719
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: cudd ale on the couch and with the fire and

720
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: it's it's really you know, we didn't have that before,

721
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 1: so it's a you know, there's some nice new routines,

722
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 1: So that's good. Last question I want to ask is

723
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 1: tips for selling while you are still living in your house.

724
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: So Sarah, you guys attempted and then stopped right or

725
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: like you didn't even it was a I almost am.

726
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: Like my tip is if the market is bad, just

727
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 1: give up and rent. But I mean I wasn't going

728
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 1: to listen to that advice two years ago, so who knows.

729
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: I mean, right now it's such a seller's market. So

730
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: I don't have any selling tips because I didn't. I

731
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: haven't sold in the current climate, which I'm sure is

732
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 1: very different than my experience. Yeah, it was hard to know.

733
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 1: I mean, we had a reasonable number of people come through,

734
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: and we had the requirement that we had to have

735
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 1: twenty four hours notice just because you can't I mean,

736
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: you know, because we had to get out of the

737
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: house every time, and so it's like you can't just

738
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 1: like leave at two pm, you know, and find another

739
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 1: place to go. I mean sometimes we did. My husband

740
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: and I would go work in the garage over here,

741
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 1: but it was, you know, it was hard to get

742
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: everyone out. What we did is we had gotten a

743
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 1: lot of stuff out of closets and again put it

744
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: in the garage over here. So decluttered down to a

745
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 1: spot where there was just less stuff in it, and

746
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 1: then figured that we were approximately an hour from having

747
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: the house be presentable. Now, of course we did have

748
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,360
Speaker 1: to do that hour like every time, because you know,

749
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 1: the kids would put toys out, you know, so we'd

750
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: have to pick up the base and we would go

751
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: through like who put toothpaste all over their cabinet, you know,

752
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 1: their countertop or over the mirror, Like how do you

753
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: even get toothpaste on the mirror? I don't get it,

754
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: you know. And then a house full of little boys

755
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,479
Speaker 1: using bathrooms. Always need to check that everything has gone

756
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: where it should and you know, cleaning up the kitchen,

757
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: decluttering and stuff like that. But yeah, it'd take an

758
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 1: hour and then we have to get out of the

759
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,720
Speaker 1: house and you know, it was it was kind of painful,

760
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: like and if there's no other way to describe this,

761
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: but on some level, it's just a money thing, Like

762
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 1: if you can convince yourself that it is actually a

763
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 1: pretty good payment back on your time for doing this,

764
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: because most likely when you're negotiating for a house, there's

765
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: often like at the end it's it's small amounts compared

766
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: to the size of the house purchase. But like, objectively,

767
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 1: it's not small amounts of money, Like you know, even

768
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: if you're talking about one or two thousand dollars, you

769
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: wouldn't just, you know, go blow two thousand dollars in

770
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: a store on a random day, like it actually is

771
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 1: is a lot of money. Even if it's like two

772
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: thousand is you know, a small percentage of what your

773
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 1: house price is. So like if you could convince yourself

774
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: of that, it kind of helps, like, oh, yeah, you know,

775
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 1: we're all going to spend an hour cleaning up. But

776
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: on the other hand, this is probably you know, if

777
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: it gets it sold, like again, a month faster than

778
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: it would have, if it gets it sold for even

779
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: one or two thousand dollars more than it would have, like,

780
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: the return on that hour is fairly good. So I

781
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 1: don't know, that's just mentally what I tried to do. No,

782
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 1: that's good. That's good helps you get through it and

783
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 1: makes it seem worth it rather than painful waste of

784
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 1: time exactly. All right, Well, let's go to our question

785
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 1: and answer for this. So, Sarah, I'll put this to

786
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 1: you first. This listener is reaching out regarding the cry

787
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 1: it out method for babies. So her partner and her

788
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 1: are from different cultures and are having trouble agreeing on

789
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: what is the right thing to do with their baby.

790
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 1: So in the US, so this listener is not from

791
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 1: the US originally, and her her partner is. They said,

792
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: she keeps hearing the advice to let the baby cry

793
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 1: it out. It's awful for two weeks and then they

794
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: will never cry at night again. However, in her culture,

795
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 1: they absolutely do not leave a baby crying for any

796
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 1: length of time. Also, as a first time mom, she

797
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: doesn't think she can do it without listening to the crying,

798
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: without rushing to help. She already has some anxiety, so

799
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,760
Speaker 1: when the baby cries, she imagines that the absolute worst

800
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: thing is happening. So they have survived to nine months.

801
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 1: The child most of the time sleeps through the night

802
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: at this point, but they would like to have other

803
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 1: children eventually, so she's wondering if there is a way

804
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 1: not to have the first nine months be up all

805
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 1: the time, and you know, if it's possible that a

806
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: strict routine would help with avoiding some of that sleep deprivation.

807
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 1: So what do you think, Sarah. I don't have a

808
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 1: strong opinion one way or the other. I do think

809
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: from what I've read, there isn't really strong evidence that

810
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: cry it out like ruins your child or anything, So

811
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 1: I don't think there's necessary harm in trying it. It's

812
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: more the question of whether it makes you super comfortable,

813
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:05,799
Speaker 1: and as Laura will get to, how effective it is

814
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 1: because that can depend on the kid. For us, we

815
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 1: did kind of a modified version where I would try

816
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: some like cry it out when we first put them

817
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,759
Speaker 1: down if they were still awake, to help them learn

818
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 1: how to, you know, go to sleep, when all the

819
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 1: bedtime cues were there. But I was never one of

820
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: those like, oh, I'm going to have my baby sleep

821
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:27,240
Speaker 1: twelve hours kind of a person, because I was pumping

822
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 1: and I knew that my baby might be hungry, and

823
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: so I'd rather feed them overnight than like not. I mean,

824
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: it just it just didn't make logical sense to me

825
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 1: if they were getting their nutrition for me, and I

826
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 1: knew the pump wasn't necessarily as great at extracting, like

827
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: it didn't seem fair to deprive them. And I also

828
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 1: was lucky to have babies where like when I fed

829
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 1: them overnight, there was no soothing necessary. It was like

830
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: you eat, I plunk you back down, and I go

831
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: back to sleep, So there was no training needed. At

832
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 1: some point when I weaned my kids, like depending on

833
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: the age, or when I just made a decision that

834
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: they did not need to eat over and more like

835
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: gen of you nursed into like twenty months, but I

836
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: think at twelve or thirteen months, I was like, you

837
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: do not need to eat in the middle of the night,

838
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: like you're eating meals like you're fine. We did do

839
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: like a brief cry it out, and I guess it

840
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 1: works because I don't feel like I have a lot

841
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: of like bad memories from it, But I don't know,

842
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: I could see it being very difficult when the kids

843
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,280
Speaker 1: are really little and they're still needing to eat anyway.

844
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, and I think that's one of

845
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: the things to think about here. There is very different

846
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: approaches of this in different cultures. And I read a

847
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 1: book it was like an anthropological book a couple of

848
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: years ago that pointing out that it's true, like in

849
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 1: like some places, they were shown videos of like American

850
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: mothers with their kids crying on a changing table, like

851
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: while they're being changed, and like people were like horrified,

852
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 1: like that you don't pick up a baby as soon

853
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 1: as they're crying. It's just like everyone's different, right, Like

854
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: different places are different, and yet kids are fine everywhere, right,

855
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 1: Like most children are fine anywhere, like no matter what

856
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 1: you grow up with. So you know, there's there's some

857
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: places where no one would ever do cry it out.

858
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 1: There's some places where everyone does cry it out, and

859
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: it's like the kids are fine regardless, So you can

860
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 1: take without what you will. Like, if you think cry

861
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: it out is going to be hard for you, then

862
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: don't do it, Like if you're not gonna be able

863
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 1: to do it, like, then don't tell yourself you will.

864
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: But if you think you want to try it again,

865
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: don't think you're hurting your baby. Your baby's probably going

866
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: to be fine. So I guess it's really just you know,

867
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 1: totally up to you, and there is not one right

868
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 1: way to do it. The question is is it effective?

869
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 1: For some kids it might be and for other kids

870
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: it's not. So there you go. We you know, there

871
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: are some children that, as you said, like you know,

872
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 1: they cry for people like, well, I just let them

873
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 1: cry for twenty minutes and then I never had to

874
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: do anything. Ever again, it's like, well, you know, you

875
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 1: got a good sleeper, like, just be happy about that.

876
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 1: And maybe they needed a little bit of figuring out

877
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 1: how to fuss a little and put themselves to sleep,

878
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 1: and that's great, like you should enjoy that. And that

879
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you know your child is I would put this,

880
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you're a great parent. You probably are,

881
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 1: but that in and of itself does not mean that

882
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 1: you are a better parent than somebody who's child does

883
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: not do that, because some kids don't do that. And

884
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 1: I know this from five children. Some of my kids

885
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,720
Speaker 1: were better about going to sleep than others. Some you could,

886
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 1: you know, fuss for ten minutes and mostly they'd figure

887
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: it out. Others will fuss for hours and still never

888
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 1: figure it out, and it would be night after night

889
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 1: after night, and so then you have to figure out

890
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:32,800
Speaker 1: other ways, and you know it does get better over time,

891
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 1: like as you noted, you're nine month old, is sleeping

892
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: and so you know, I guess I could say do

893
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 1: what you want and just you might experiment as well,

894
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 1: because it might work and it might not work too,

895
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to commit yourself to one thing

896
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: or the other. All right, so let's quick do a

897
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: love of the week. What's rocking your world this week? Sarah?

898
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 1: I will say I have been enjoying reading a lot

899
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: of different booklists for the new year. I think I

900
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: started with Modern Missus Darcy, but then she invited like

901
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,479
Speaker 1: everybody else to post where they put their twenty twenty

902
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: two reading list, and I just had fun perusing all

903
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: these different lists that people made because it's just I

904
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,720
Speaker 1: got lots of my own ideas from it. So yeah,

905
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 1: I guess reading other people's reading lists is my love

906
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: of the week. Excellent. So my idea of my love

907
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: of the week is having one drawer that is officially

908
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 1: drawer where things don't have another home, so as a category,

909
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 1: you know, when you're trying to put things away, like

910
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 1: you can be stymied for a long time with like

911
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 1: a pile of stuff that you just don't know where

912
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 1: to put it, right, Like, it doesn't fit any of

913
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 1: the obvious other categories of you know, you've put different

914
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 1: drawers or different closets or different places where things go,

915
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: and so this is a drawer of stuff that does

916
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: not have another home. And you know, some people have

917
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 1: like a junk drawer whatever, but I started think of

918
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: as junk drawers where you put specific things like you know,

919
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: rubber bands and pencils and you know whatever. This is

920
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 1: more random, and we now have one in the kitchen

921
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: that has a lot of random stuff in it. But

922
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: the kitchen counter is finally mostly cleared off, and it

923
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: was never going to be if I was like trying

924
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: to come up with categories that were you know, mutually

925
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 1: exclusive and comprehensively exhaustive for the organizing. So that is

926
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 1: what we do. An other can you name a couple

927
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:21,439
Speaker 1: items they're in this drawer? So there is a bin

928
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 1: with some crans in it. There is a Tyrannosaurus rex

929
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 1: head that is a cup. There is a pool toy.

930
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 1: There is a few, uh like decorative things children have

931
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 1: made but that they you know, I haven't quite gotten

932
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: around to doing something with yet there is Yeah, it's

933
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: really stuff like that. I like it. I like it.

934
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 1: It's the mississliness. All right. Well, this has been best

935
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 1: at Both Worlds. We have been talking moving and home renovation.

936
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:56,840
Speaker 1: We will be back next week with more on making

937
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 1: work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can

938
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at

939
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 1: the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me

940
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the

941
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please join us next time

942
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: for more on making work and life work together.