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Speaker 1: Morality Monanitu is that you ready?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Okay, this comes from our friends had read it, and

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Speaker 3: he says, I bought a house a couple of years ago,

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Speaker 3: but I go through hundreds of these.

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Speaker 1: I mean I truly curate these. Okay, I want you

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Speaker 1: to know.

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Speaker 3: Really, I don't just take the first we mean, really, business,

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Speaker 3: there's thousands of them. Well, I don't keep them in business,

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Speaker 3: I'm saying, I don't just pick the first one I see.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to read a bunch of them to find

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Speaker 3: the one that I think is appropriate.

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Speaker 1: I got you. That's good, you know.

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Speaker 3: I mean that's like Kiki, she goes through thousands of cases.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Man, it's hard it is to pick the ones worthy

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Speaker 3: of your courtroom. I bought a house a couple of

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Speaker 3: years ago, and I've been working on making it look nicer.

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Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time redoing the front gardens,

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Speaker 3: trying to make it look neat and nice. A few

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Speaker 3: weeks ago, rather, I was at a greenhouse buying some

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Speaker 3: plants for the garden, and I saw two yard flamingos

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Speaker 3: marked down on clearance. I knew that they belonged in

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Speaker 3: my garden. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I

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Speaker 3: think they're a lot of fun. So I set them

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Speaker 3: up when I got home, and a couple days or

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Speaker 3: my neighbor was knocking on my door and she was

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Speaker 3: demanding I take down my flamingos because they're ugly and

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Speaker 3: lowering the property value of the neighborhood, the neighbors said.

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Speaker 3: I told her I am not taking them down because

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Speaker 3: I like them and the property value isn't going to

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Speaker 3: be hurt by two yard flamingos. I also live in Hoa,

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Speaker 3: and as far as I'm aware, there are no town

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Speaker 3: ordinances about yard flamingos. She's posted pictures of my house,

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Speaker 3: the street that I live on, and a closeup of

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Speaker 3: my flamingos in our town's Facebook page to complain about them.

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Speaker 3: Some people agreed I should take them down. After that,

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Speaker 3: another neighbor came over to tell me to get rid

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Speaker 3: of them. My mom also agreed that I should take

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Speaker 3: them down to keep the peace with my neighbor. I

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Speaker 3: like them. I smile when I see them when I

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Speaker 3: pull my driveway. I have no plans to take them down.

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Speaker 3: Should I take down the yard flamingos, I'm well, okay,

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Speaker 3: So we have a case. Here we have an issue

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Speaker 3: of a person who apparently can put whatever they want

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Speaker 3: in their front yard. And I'm sure there are people

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Speaker 3: listening who it's the same way now. I'm also sure

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Speaker 3: there are people listening who live in an hoa, which means,

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Speaker 3: you know, some people get elected and they decide that

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Speaker 3: they're like you know, the police, and they come around

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Speaker 3: and they get to tell you what to do or

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Speaker 3: you can't do this, you can't do that.

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Speaker 5: I'm on the you are, Yeah, I'm the treasurer.

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Speaker 1: Stop it.

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Speaker 6: I like when you look at me, stop, Hey, I

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Speaker 6: don't play about my bag or my hoa.

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Speaker 1: Stop. They put you in charge of the money.

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Speaker 5: I think nobody wanted to do it, like.

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Speaker 1: You think nobody wanted to do it either as well.

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Speaker 5: I'm on it though.

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Speaker 6: I stepped up and I said, I'll be your girl.

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Speaker 6: I don't even live there anymore, and I'll be your girl,

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Speaker 6: and you of the money for the ho you are

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Speaker 6: I am. Now, you're a smart lady, but like you

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Speaker 6: can't get you to tell us what number the showdown

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Speaker 6: is every day?

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Speaker 5: Right, and so.

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Speaker 3: Money be missing, money being up and down. How much

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Speaker 3: money we have it depends on the day.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: See money moves around for a reason.

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Speaker 6: And if you guys might see a new fence at

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Speaker 6: the hoa at the new property.

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Speaker 5: Mind your business. If you do, mind your business.

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Speaker 3: If you don't, that's actually not allowed to use Venmo

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Speaker 3: because she was trying to money launder.

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Speaker 5: Using it or her credit card. I'll love her husband.

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Speaker 5: Yeah it's a husband's credit card.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's okay. All right.

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Speaker 3: So you like yard flamingos, you put yard flamingos up.

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Speaker 3: You want them in your yard. There is no one

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Speaker 3: that can tell you that you cannot have them. However,

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Speaker 3: your neighbors all apparently think they're ugly, and even your

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Speaker 3: mom is like, it's not worth it to make all

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Speaker 3: the neighbors mad. What do you do? What do you do?

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Speaker 3: Do you keep them up? I might suggest maybe the

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Speaker 3: backyard or something where everyone doesn't have to look at them,

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Speaker 3: because is it really worth I mean, you bought these

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Speaker 3: things on clearance. It wasn't like it was your life

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Speaker 3: ambition to have a yard with garden or with flamingos

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Speaker 3: in them, or garden homes or whatever your thing is,

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Speaker 3: So why not put them somewhere where everyone doesn't have

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Speaker 3: to look at them and they're not an ice sore,

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Speaker 3: and then your neighbors don't hate you.

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Speaker 7: No, you're not gonna tell me what color to paint

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Speaker 7: my house, how to have my If I want my flamingos,

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Speaker 7: I own this heer yard, I'm gonna have my flamingos.

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Speaker 7: I do also feel envious of the woman who's biggest

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Speaker 7: problem is her neighbor's lawn flamingos. Right, Like, go out

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Speaker 7: and find a real problem in your life. That's ridiculous, right,

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Speaker 7: that's my that's my experience.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you work really hard to save up for this

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Speaker 6: house or whatever it is, like, and you're gonna tell

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Speaker 6: me I can out my clear and flamingos up.

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Speaker 5: But that makes me so angry.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like, but if they're that ugly that

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Speaker 3: everybody seems to agree, then I might say, is it

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Speaker 3: really worth it? Is it really worth it? Is this

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Speaker 3: the hill you want to die on with your neighbors?

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Speaker 5: Is this the hill they want to die on?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: But I mean, whether it's fair or not, if the

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Speaker 3: entire neighborhood turns on you, you have a problem, whether

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Speaker 3: it's right or not.

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Speaker 5: I'd be like, are you guys okay?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 8: You can't control everybody, and everybody doesn't have to be

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Speaker 8: the same.

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Speaker 9: M M.

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Speaker 1: This is my house.

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Speaker 3: Is this any different than a person who doesn't take

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Speaker 3: very good care of their lawn? Is this any different

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Speaker 3: than a person who doesn't take very good care of

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Speaker 3: their house? And you do? Is this any different than that?

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Speaker 3: I mean creating an eyesore? Right, So if people don't.

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Speaker 5: Like it, even then I don't care. Like it's your lawn.

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Speaker 5: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Okay, wonderful, right,

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Speaker 5: thank you.

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Speaker 1: I want to see your front line have what was

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Speaker 1: in your front.

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Speaker 8: Yard a couple of bushes, and I keep my lawn trimmed,

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Speaker 8: and that's it. I don't I'm not getting jazzy with it.

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Speaker 8: But if I wanted to get jazzy with it, I

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Speaker 8: would I pay these property taxes?

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Speaker 1: That's right?

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Speaker 9: Girl?

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Speaker 1: Do you have an hi? A No, man, they won't

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Speaker 1: let you get away with anything.

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Speaker 5: No, we won't.

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Speaker 1: No, she won't.

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Speaker 3: Hey, Jessica, Hey, you say, go buy more?

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Speaker 1: I absolutely do you know what? It's my yard?

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Speaker 6: I pay for this stuff.

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Speaker 5: I'm buying more.

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Speaker 4: Go off.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I guess, I guess you don't mean I'm

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Speaker 3: not much of a rule follower, but I also would

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Speaker 3: be like, Okay, is this really worth it? Because if

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Speaker 3: everyone's ganging up on me and it's it's an untenable situation.

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Speaker 3: You do not want the whole neighborhood against you. You

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Speaker 3: simply don't. It's bad.

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Speaker 9: It's you know, it's more worth it to do it then,

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Speaker 9: because you know what I didn't do nothing put up

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Speaker 9: with you?

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, fair enough, thank you, Jessica.

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Speaker 3: If you remember, Jason's having an issue in his backyard

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Speaker 3: with his coy pond, which just sounds so boogy to say,

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Speaker 3: and you've got pterodactyl birds flying down trying to eat

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Speaker 3: the koi fish, right, so you put up. You've tried

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Speaker 3: many different things, and what you what you've landed on

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Speaker 3: is one of those if you like, drive by like

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Speaker 3: an auto parts store, the place that they're still tires

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Speaker 3: or whatever, Like the big tall looking thing with.

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Speaker 1: The than on the bottom of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's sort of like it looks like it's

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Speaker 3: having convulsions or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is it working? It seems to be working. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: That being said, all your neighbors get to see this

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Speaker 3: guy dancer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if you look at.

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Speaker 10: Luckily it's in our backyard and not in front of

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Speaker 10: our house, which would be wild. But yeah, I'm sure

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Speaker 10: everyone that has a backyard near ours is like what

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Speaker 10: the hell you know?

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Speaker 3: And so has a problem with it. I know you

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Speaker 3: If someone has a problem with that, you're going to

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Speaker 3: consider their problem, you know what.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 10: I feel like there's I am a people pleaser, but

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Speaker 10: like you don't own a lot of things in life, right,

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Speaker 10: like and if you can get to a point where

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Speaker 10: you own your own property, like I feel like within

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Speaker 10: the law, like you you should be able to do

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Speaker 10: what you want. Like if you're talking about like your

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Speaker 10: house being like run down or busted, or your.

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Speaker 3: Low running a meth operation or something, you shouldn't do that.

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Speaker 10: Like your lawn being unkept or something like that, Like

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Speaker 10: those are ordinances against that, like the village will but

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Speaker 10: like just some decorations like that's it's not against any rules.

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Speaker 1: I have flamingos in front of my my meth RV cooking.

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Speaker 10: The flamingos are not the problem at that point all

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Speaker 10: it's the meth.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, But I like them, and I like the myths.

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Speaker 3: Who are you going to take them from? Me, let's

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Speaker 3: do a headlights next in two minutes, Red Show.

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Speaker 1: The show is on.

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Speaker 3: It's stay or go? All right, Page is here? Good morning, Page?

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Speaker 3: How you doing?

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Speaker 1: Welcome?

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Speaker 9: I'm saying good morning. I'm okay.

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Speaker 3: How are you?

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Speaker 1: Page?

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Speaker 3: I'm doing all right, except for the fact that now

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Speaker 3: I have to apparently buy my mom a trip around

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Speaker 3: the world or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, And now everybody's.

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Speaker 9: Texting that sounds expensive.

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Speaker 3: Everybody texting up, You're going on, No, everybody knows you

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Speaker 3: got to do this. I'm like, and what do you

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Speaker 3: get mom for Mother's Day? A card? Don't let me,

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Speaker 3: don't let me find out. Don't let me find out

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Speaker 3: that y'all need get mom a tack or tape parade

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Speaker 3: or something. I'm mothers that y'all tell me to sen

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Speaker 3: it to Italy.

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Speaker 1: It's wow. So what's going on with you? And stayre go?

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Speaker 1: I understand that you're having an issue with your boyfriend?

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Speaker 9: Yeah, I am. So we've been dating for three years,

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Speaker 9: and you know, it's three years, so there's lots of

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Speaker 9: good moments, bad moments, I'm sure you know, but I

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Speaker 9: really just think that we could be together forever. He's

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Speaker 9: just he's comfortable, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so three years together, you see a

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Speaker 3: few So what you're going is because there's an issue.

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Speaker 1: So what's the issue?

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Speaker 9: Yeah, well, two years ago I cheated on him, which

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Speaker 9: I feel awful about. But it was one night. I

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Speaker 9: never did it again. It was at a work conference

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Speaker 9: and it was like this happy hour and a dinner

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Speaker 9: and honestly, I was drunk and I don't want to

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Speaker 9: give an excuse about it, but it's honestly my biggest regret,

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Speaker 9: and I don't think it was really had any meaning

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Speaker 9: to it. And I told him about it, and I

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Speaker 9: thought we worked through it and he did forgive me,

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Speaker 9: but it didn't come up again because it's not something

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Speaker 9: I really want to bring.

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Speaker 3: Up, right, And in fairness, if you guys work through

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Speaker 3: something and then this forgiveness, you don't get to just

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Speaker 3: throw that in there.

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Speaker 9: You know.

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Speaker 3: It's not like every year when you guys get in

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Speaker 3: a fight, Yeah, a big blowout. And by the way,

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Speaker 3: when you cheated on me, because it's like, well, I mean,

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Speaker 3: if we really forgave me that, we don't get to

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Speaker 3: just keep you know. And I'm sure some men, but

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Speaker 3: in my experienced women are very very good at keeping

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Speaker 3: an inventory of all the things I've ever done that

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Speaker 3: upset you so that we can bring them all up

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Speaker 3: as bomb boom.

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Speaker 1: Every it's like, oh really, I'm gonna oh you think

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Speaker 1: you won this one? Remember that time he cheated on me?

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Speaker 1: Boom you remember that one time?

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Speaker 3: It was my birthday and you and you gave me

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Speaker 3: a suitcase two weeks before you didn't give me a

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Speaker 3: gift of my boom anyway. So okay, all right, So

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Speaker 3: so it was forgiven but correct.

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Speaker 1: That's when I thought, why are we talking? Yeah?

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Speaker 9: Well, three months ago he came clean that his work

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Speaker 9: wife scenario that he has with his wife or work wife,

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Speaker 9: not me, that it's been a bit flirty and the

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Speaker 9: text had been kind of intimate, and that they also

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Speaker 9: made out in his car one night.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, okay, And the work wive's thing like, so

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Speaker 3: this woman is on his team or sits next to him,

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Speaker 3: or has an office next to him, or you've heard

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Speaker 3: this works work life, which I don't really love.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. I don't like when

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Speaker 1: people brag about that.

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Speaker 9: Your wife, this woman is not your wife, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, I mean, you're basically saying to me, when you

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Speaker 3: say that, like, I spend way more time with this

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Speaker 3: person and get along with them most of the time

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Speaker 3: better than you.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 9: It's like I've also known him for longer, you know,

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Speaker 9: she just joined not so long ago.

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Speaker 1: For we ain't equal. Okay, we ain't equal.

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Speaker 3: I got to sleep in bed with you and listen

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Speaker 3: to your farts or whatever, and this lady, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, So like we ain't equal. Okay, So

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Speaker 3: this year's having it got inappropriate?

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Speaker 1: Now? Was that as far as it went? They just

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Speaker 1: kissed her? Was it more?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 9: You know, he said that there's no more contact between them.

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Speaker 9: I don't know. I mean, they work together, but he

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Speaker 9: says that there's none.

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Speaker 1: Just that.

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Speaker 9: I think it's wrong.

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Speaker 3: And so did he like leave jobs or something? Because

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Speaker 3: how is it that they don't have contact if they

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Speaker 3: work together? Like did he how was he able to

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Speaker 3: cut her off? I guess is my question? Like he

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Speaker 3: was able to cut it completely off?

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Speaker 9: He says that he's actively avoiding her. Okay, I genuinely,

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Speaker 9: I'm not in the office, so I don't know. I

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Speaker 9: don't have link a camera in the office launching all right, So.

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Speaker 1: We're going to take him at his word.

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Speaker 3: I guess then, I guess, so you did your deal

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Speaker 3: and and I guess you moved on. He had this

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Speaker 3: inappropriate thing with his coworker, and he claims that he's

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Speaker 3: now has he has boundaries, and he came to you

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Speaker 3: to come clean because you knew it was inappropriate. Okay,

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Speaker 3: So I assume that you're going to show him the

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Speaker 3: same grace, right.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, But he's saying that what he did was wrong,

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Speaker 9: but what I did was worse, and that it's incomparable,

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Speaker 9: and that it's not even really bad what he did,

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Speaker 9: and that I don't really deserve a full, true apology

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Speaker 9: because what he did wasn't so bad comparatively, and it's

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Speaker 9: kind of keeping score. It's just very like take for

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Speaker 9: cat to me.

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Speaker 3: So because you had a full on sexual well I

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Speaker 3: shouldn't say relationship experience with another person years ago, now,

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Speaker 3: this thing that he did, in his opinion, is not

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Speaker 3: so bad and it's like, you know, you should get

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Speaker 3: over this quickly because well, you did this to me, right, right?

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Speaker 9: So again, is that is that okay? Or if he

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Speaker 9: makes out with somebody else, it's okay because I slept

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Speaker 9: with somebody, it's very It doesn't feel good to me,

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Speaker 9: especially since we talked through it and there was apologies

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Speaker 9: made and it's never happened again and it never will.

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Speaker 9: So I don't like it.

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Speaker 3: And you're finding you're finding in his in his sort

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Speaker 3: of I mean, he did come clean to you and

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Speaker 3: ask for your forgiveness, I guess, but you're finding his

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Speaker 3: kind of laissez fair attitude like this what I mean,

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Speaker 3: what hey, but it was nowhere near as bad as

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Speaker 3: what you did, which I don't know. I might argue,

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Speaker 3: and this may be unpopular, but a one time i'm

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Speaker 3: one off physical interaction while drinking with a dude you know,

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Speaker 3: at a work conference that you've never seen again, that

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Speaker 3: might not I mean, it's bad, but I might argue

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Speaker 3: that an ongoing emotional affair with someone you see every day,

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Speaker 3: that's almost deeper and in some ways worse.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 3: I know that we're not keeping score here, but for

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Speaker 3: him to be like mine's not as bad as yours,

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Speaker 3: I don't necessarily think that's true.

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Speaker 9: I don't either, and I but I also don't want

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Speaker 9: to keep score. I don't think that that works in

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Speaker 9: a relationship.

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Speaker 3: And so what are you wondering here, like, can I

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Speaker 3: stay with a guy who this is how we're going

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Speaker 3: to do stuff like? Or I guess my other question

346
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Speaker 3: would be, as long as he doesn't sleep with someone,

347
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Speaker 3: every is everything he does that that's not nice to

348
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Speaker 3: you or not good for the relationship. Is he going

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Speaker 3: to throw that one out?

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Speaker 1: You know? Are is he doing the thing I was

351
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Speaker 1: just talking.

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Speaker 9: To my birthday? Would he say, oh, well.

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Speaker 5: You slept with somebody.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you shouldn't have gotten with that guy.

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Speaker 9: Will saying oh, well, you slept with somebody. I don't

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Speaker 9: like it, girl, because they can be pushed to something further.

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Speaker 9: And then if I need a small mistake, is he

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Speaker 9: going to say, well, you know, let's think about when

359
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,080
Speaker 9: you like slept with somebody. I guess this mistake is

360
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,800
Speaker 9: not so bad, but you know, it's piling up. I

361
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:13,800
Speaker 9: don't I.

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Speaker 3: Don't like how Sorry I left the towel on the ground,

363
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,960
Speaker 3: but you shouldn't have slept with that guy three years

364
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,120
Speaker 3: you know. It's like, yeah, and you're right, But at

365
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,440
Speaker 3: the same time, if you're gonna move on, then you've

366
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,000
Speaker 3: got to move on. And I under and I know

367
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,840
Speaker 3: that's easier said than done, much easier said than done.

368
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,600
Speaker 3: But if that takes months or years or whatever, it

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Speaker 3: is fine. But like I think, once you get to

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Speaker 3: the point of relationship where you guys have moved past

371
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Speaker 3: whatever the issue is, so long as that behavior doesn't return,

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Speaker 3: then that then we're done with that. We work through that.

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Speaker 3: You cannot just continue to bring that up. And it

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Speaker 3: sounds like as opposed to just taking complete ownership of

375
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Speaker 3: what he did.

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Speaker 1: That was wrong.

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Speaker 3: It's why I know it was wrong, but yours was wronger,

378
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,440
Speaker 3: which yeah, I don't know. I might argue his was

379
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Speaker 3: worse if we're going to play that game, which I

380
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Speaker 3: don't think you were willing to or were trying to play.

381
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,440
Speaker 3: But hey, you having an ongoing emotional relationship, and you

382
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,560
Speaker 3: wrote in the email, but you fail to mention by

383
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,440
Speaker 3: the way that this woman at work, the work wife

384
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Speaker 3: is married to another man. You wrote that in the email,

385
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Speaker 3: So so he was having an extra amount of affair

386
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Speaker 3: as well.

387
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Speaker 1: Knowingly it's a lot going on. So and this dude

388
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Speaker 1: is his hands are not cleaner. I don't know one's.

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Speaker 5: Hands separate ways. So you think at this point.

390
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Speaker 9: And I'd like them to be clean, I would.

391
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Speaker 3: I don't know if you have to break up with

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Speaker 3: him yet, But I think you have to have a

393
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,119
Speaker 3: firm conversation.

394
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Speaker 1: And Keithy doesn't agree with this. I just look on

395
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Speaker 1: her face.

396
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,400
Speaker 3: I think you have to have a firm conversation where

397
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:43,080
Speaker 3: you're like, look, I messed up. I acknowledge that I

398
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,360
Speaker 3: came to you. You didn't catch me. I came clean.

399
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,440
Speaker 3: You forgave me. I'm sure that was hard. We moved on.

400
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:49,720
Speaker 3: Now you did this.

401
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,360
Speaker 1: That's bad. You need to say that's bad. You need

402
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 1: to own it.

403
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 3: I need to feel like you understand you made a

404
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,920
Speaker 3: mistake independent of what I did, and then we're moving on.

405
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 3: And if you don't think he can do that, then

406
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,359
Speaker 3: this relationship will never work. If he realizes, okay, fine,

407
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,960
Speaker 3: look I can't. You're right, I'm trying to compare these things.

408
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,560
Speaker 3: They're independent things, they're mutually exclusive. I should have done it,

409
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 3: and so I'm sorry. Well, and if you forgive me,

410
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,440
Speaker 3: then we're moving on together and hopefully this never happens again.

411
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,439
Speaker 3: Short of that, then this dude is going to make

412
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 3: excuses forever.

413
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 1: You're right, I.

414
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 9: Really need to just sit him down and say this

415
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 9: is what's really bothering me. I think I've probably avoided

416
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 9: the conversation and.

417
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 1: Kiki, you don't think you just just oh, no, she

418
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:33,480
Speaker 1: needs to go.

419
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,000
Speaker 8: They're three years in, they're playing this tiff for tag game.

420
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 1: She cheated, he cheated.

421
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,360
Speaker 5: They sleeping with people at work.

422
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,000
Speaker 1: This messy.

423
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 8: She needs to go.

424
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:43,720
Speaker 5: Absolutely, this is a boyfriend. Gir get another one, Okay.

425
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.

426
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,360
Speaker 3: I mean it is interesting that there was the infidelity

427
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,440
Speaker 3: and that hurt him, I'm sure deeply, as it would anybody,

428
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 3: and it was a huge problem, and that you guys

429
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 3: work through it and then he goes and does it

430
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:58,120
Speaker 3: like I would think there would be an additional sensitivity

431
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,280
Speaker 3: to that kind of behavior, like it was so bad

432
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,159
Speaker 3: for me, now.

433
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,159
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go do it.

434
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 3: It's almost like he knew that he thought he had

435
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,560
Speaker 3: a pass or something. It's like in his mind it

436
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,399
Speaker 3: was like, I can try this out over here because

437
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,919
Speaker 3: if I get caught it, well, remember yeah I did that.

438
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,760
Speaker 5: She was not gonna go anywhere because, like you said,

439
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,080
Speaker 5: you did it, now I didn't. We're even kind of thing.

440
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 5: That's how he's gonna see it forever.

441
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 4: Page.

442
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,639
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take some phone calls on this and have

443
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,680
Speaker 3: the radio on of the iHeart app whatever, and and

444
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,160
Speaker 3: let's see what happens. But thank you for sharing. And

445
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 3: it's a tough one. Good luck, thank you eight five

446
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:31,400
Speaker 3: three five.

447
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 8: I am she's not innocent either, you know, like she

448
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 8: she made her mistakes. But it seems like this guy

449
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,560
Speaker 8: has kind of been just sitting around plotting on his

450
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,160
Speaker 8: time to get her back. And he got his lick back,

451
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 8: and now it's just like, okay, both be outs and

452
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 8: MESSI and cheating.

453
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 1: So you need to leave each other.

454
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 3: And I think you got choices here, like if you

455
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 3: were if you were betrayed in some way, you either

456
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 3: move past, work through it, move past it, forgive and

457
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: then it's not like it never happened. But as far

458
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 3: as like ammunition is concerned, it's not fair game anymore.

459
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 3: But at the same time, I said, you could also

460
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 3: just leave too, you know, so if he thought that

461
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 3: he had to pass somewhere down the line, then he's

462
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,959
Speaker 3: then then he should have just laughed, Like if that's

463
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 3: the way he.

464
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 5: Thinks that, Like, can you ever forget?

465
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 1: You have to forget. I don't think you forget.

466
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,640
Speaker 3: You have to forgive, yeah, And you can't just throw

467
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 3: it in everywhere, of course, like you forgot the bananas

468
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 3: at the storeting you know you can't.

469
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 6: But maturing is also like realizing exactly you can't forgive, Like,

470
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,959
Speaker 6: for example, I would not be able to move past day,

471
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 6: like I bring it up every five minutes. I know

472
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,439
Speaker 6: I would, So butturing, I think for me would be

473
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 6: realizing I can't be in this relationship anymore. As much

474
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 6: as it hurts, I can't do it. You know you've

475
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 6: betrayed me.

476
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,240
Speaker 10: Yeah, Chasey red quiet here, Yeah, I mean you you can't.

477
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,200
Speaker 10: I've had experience with this, and you can't. If you're

478
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 10: going to get over it, you have. You're not gonna

479
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:56,400
Speaker 10: forget it ever, but you have to sort of look

480
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 10: past it in order to progress, right, if that's what

481
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,960
Speaker 10: you choose to do. But just like what you're saying,

482
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,360
Speaker 10: like you can't bring it up again, you can't talk

483
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 10: about it again like people did what they did.

484
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 1: You chose what you chose.

485
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 10: And if it was early on in a relationship and

486
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,640
Speaker 10: now we're farther down the line and now he decides

487
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 10: to do it, like to me, that's a bigger issue

488
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 10: because now we have so much more invested. You know,

489
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,160
Speaker 10: if it's years or however long in between and now

490
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 10: you're choosing to do it, so like now we're taking

491
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 10: huge steps back. So I don't I don't know if

492
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 10: it's possible to continue.

493
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 1: Well, I don't love the whole.

494
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 3: Well, mine's not as bad as yours, because honestly, we

495
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 3: could get into that if you want to.

496
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 1: Like honestly, I.

497
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 10: Mean, cheating is cheating to me at the end of

498
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 10: the day, Like you're right, matter who it's with or

499
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 10: what the stipulation is.

500
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: But I don't think he's gonna like the way I don't.

501
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 3: I don't like that argument because he's like, well, actually,

502
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 3: let's let's brete this down. You know, how long was

503
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 3: yours going on? What were you talking about? Were you

504
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 3: talking about this relationship? Were you talking about that relationship?

505
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 3: You know, this is an ongoing thing. This person's still around,

506
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 3: this person still, you know what I mean? As opposed

507
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 3: to again, should I have slept with someone? No, I

508
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 3: don't know where Steve lives now, you know, I ain't

509
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 3: talking to Steve anymore. I hope his name isn't I hope.

510
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's Steve, Carl Craig. What's your

511
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 3: kid name?

512
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 1: Jose?

513
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 3: It was Jose Aldo Hi, good morning Aldo. Now you

514
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 3: want the cheater, but you're on the phone high What

515
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,120
Speaker 3: do you want to say?

516
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,959
Speaker 4: When does it end? I mean, if allegedly or assumedly,

517
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 4: this relationship is moving towards you know, a marriage. When

518
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:25,479
Speaker 4: does the kissy face with a coworker? When does that

519
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 4: become not okay? When does the relationship become so involved

520
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 4: that it's not okay?

521
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 1: Yeah?

522
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 3: And when does this cycle stop? You know, like, Okay,

523
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 3: he got his So are we done now? I mean,

524
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 3: is this the last time we're ever going to talk

525
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 3: about this kind of thing?

526
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 4: Or no? Right, Either you're vested in the relationship and

527
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 4: you aren't. I mean, it's sort of like that simple

528
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 4: if you're not playing catch up or something. Either you

529
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 4: do wherever you do, it's either helping the relationship or

530
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 4: its hurting the relationship.

531
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 3: And why would you have any interest in keeping that

532
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 3: as a card? Like why if you've forgiven which I

533
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 3: don't think he has, why would you have any interest

534
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 3: in keeping something that's really going to hurt someone as

535
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 3: a card to use?

536
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like you would you wouldn't

537
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: want to.

538
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to put somebody through what you've been

539
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 3: through if you really cared.

540
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 4: He hadn't forgiven. If this guy hid forgiven that he

541
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,120
Speaker 4: even brings it up, you know, or anything, because I mean,

542
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 4: what's his game plan? Okay, now I've done this, Now

543
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 4: what can I do? I'm continuing, you know, with this,

544
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 4: with this co work ger. We don't know if he's

545
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 4: continuing or not, but you know, I sort of suspect,

546
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 4: especially if he doesn't see the problem, if he doesn't

547
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 4: see what he did, if he doesn't recognize it.

548
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 3: That's a big one for me too from doing it again.

549
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 3: I agree, I agree. Thank you all though, thanks for listening,

550
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 3: for calling. Okay, thank you, have a good day, Christina. Christina,

551
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 3: you're saying he's not over it.

552
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 5: No, he's not.

553
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 2: He had not forgiven her. He might have said he

554
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 2: forgave her, but he haven't, and he's still hold it

555
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 2: over her head and he's not over it at all,

556
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 2: and he's also using it to.

557
00:22:58,960 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 9: You know, manipulate her.

558
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 2: Now now he's saying, no, it's okay that I do

559
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 2: this stuff because you did it, and it's not.

560
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally different, So it's over.

561
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 2: They got to go, yeah, yeah, absolutely, because he's trying

562
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 2: to make excuses for himself, and it's like if he

563
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: has like basically a relationship with his work life, yeah,

564
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 2: which is very different.

565
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, I think so too. Yeah, thank you, Christina,

566
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 3: have a good day.

567
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 5: Yeah you too.

568
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 3: Someone texts you this is not a tough one friend.

569
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 3: They have to go the separate ways. I guess the

570
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 3: reason I'm saying it's tough is because you're going to

571
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 3: have to make an assessment. Is this is this how

572
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 3: it's always going to be? Or is this he screwed

573
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 3: up and he's having a hard time owning it and

574
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 3: we have to work through this together and he hasn't

575
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 3: fully forgiven me, And is this a guy?

576
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 4: You know?

577
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 3: Can we make it through this after three years? And

578
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 3: then are we done with this? And there's a lot

579
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 3: of things, a lot of presuppositions you have to make.

580
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 3: There's a lot of stuff that you got to decide.

581
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 3: And my guess would be that between the repeat offense,

582
00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 3: the like the I guess what's the word I'm looking

583
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 3: for sort of the uh, what is it when you

584
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 3: the reoffending at least from him to her? And but

585
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 3: really for me, it's the lack of ownership and the comparison.

586
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 3: It's like is this how you're going to operate now? Like, well,

587
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 3: mine's not as bad as yours because I didn't, you know,

588
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 3: put the thing in the thing. It's like, no, that's worse, right,

589
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 3: that's worse or as bad. So why are we doing that?

590
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,360
Speaker 5: Tiff for town is never gonna work.

591
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that I guess that's what I'm saying.

592
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: Is do you walk? Do you walk?

593
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,639
Speaker 3: Because you screwed up and you kind of planted the seed,

594
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 3: but yet he forgave you. So I guess you just

595
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 3: have to ask yourself, are we gonna do? We need

596
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 3: to burn this whole thing down, because you know what

597
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 3: I mean, That's why I think it's hard. I agree,

598
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 3: let it burn the Entertainment Report and show me his

599
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 3: Kiki and Dana a tiebreaker.

600
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: Next on The Fred Show,