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Speaker 1: Well, welcome back to another exciting episode of Alcomy. This

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Speaker 1: some'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Is that Kevin Pollock? Was?

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Speaker 1: I agree? This year at two feels like it's raced

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Speaker 1: by right. Speaking of racing by, how about that big

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Speaker 1: as asteroid that barely missed us last week? That was

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Speaker 1: some ship. But I digress. Let's meet our all coom as,

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Speaker 1: shall we? In no particular order to Let's quickly check

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Speaker 1: in with Craig Kowski for his home cooking for the

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Speaker 1: holiday's corner. Kevin, I made sugar cookies last night. They

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Speaker 1: were so good. They were so good. Everybody was just

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Speaker 1: talking about all the weight they've lost. Yep, and uh, hey, congrats.

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna fucking fatten up. How many cookies? How

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Speaker 1: many cookies did you make in the betch I take

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Speaker 1: we We have a small oven, so with a small tray,

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Speaker 1: so we were limited to nine cookies. I froze the

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Speaker 1: rest of the batter um. I had five of them

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Speaker 1: in Carla had four, and I think she was under

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Speaker 1: the mistaken impression there was an even amount. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, do you want to split the last one?

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Speaker 1: She's like, no, no, it's yours. It's your it's your

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Speaker 1: fourth one, and I knew that I I tricked her

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Speaker 1: into an extra man and with no regrets, no regrets,

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Speaker 1: no thank you for sharing all of that. And now

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Speaker 1: let's checking with Chris Alvarado for his wedding planning hot tips.

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Speaker 1: Mr C Tip, huh, let's see things to avoid. Let's

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Speaker 1: start there, things to avoid to avoid. We can come

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Speaker 1: back to you, we can go back. Is this one

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Speaker 1: of those where do I begin? Everything's going so smoothly, everybody? What, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just going smoothly. Everything's working out. It's never heard that.

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Speaker 1: My only tip would be find somebody you really love.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It's a great tip. Thank you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't go into it with the kind of love thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, it's about committing. You gotta feel better

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Speaker 1: than Hey, there's Caroline Carter is capaid super fan. As

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Speaker 1: you understand it. What is the truth about Santa Claus? Well,

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Speaker 1: according to what I know, which I think is the

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Speaker 1: most scientifically up to date information, I think it's this

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Speaker 1: old pervert that slips down your damn chimneys and leaves

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Speaker 1: his greasy little hands on your presence. He's real and

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Speaker 1: he's hot, hot PERV hot per party of one can't

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Speaker 1: get enough. Look out it's James Heeney, Bobby Jean heen

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Speaker 1: Have you ever done a production of a Christmas Carol?

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Speaker 1: And if not, who would you like to portray in

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Speaker 1: one that I'm staying if you're getting paid by the line,

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Speaker 1: I want to be of an iSER screw Are you

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Speaker 1: seeing check? Please? Yes? Evan James, I've never got somebody

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Speaker 1: more on branded than you are. I mean, you never

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Speaker 1: disappoint you are you are consistent to put the coffee

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Speaker 1: down before I spill out myself. One of these days

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Speaker 1: we're going to learn that that the jokes on us.

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Speaker 1: He's been talking all these up on purpose. And last

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Speaker 1: but no more squatty potty for you if you think

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Speaker 1: him least, it's Joey Greer Boner donor please explain why

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Speaker 1: you're all ba humbug this year. Well, I'm actually clouded

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Speaker 1: up from the Evan Niser. All right, let's do it.

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Speaker 1: That's a bonus. That's a bonus if Joey's clouded up,

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Speaker 1: let's let's celebrate that. All of our scene suggestions are

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Speaker 1: gathered from your listener emails or from our lovely patron

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Speaker 1: V I p ease. How what's that? You'd like to

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Speaker 1: become a patron's part of the show and enjoy exclusive

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Speaker 1: content like I don't know, standalone bonus scenes that were

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Speaker 1: made just for you, or the video of what we're

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Speaker 1: doing right now. Well, just head on over to patreon

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Speaker 1: dot com slash Alchemy this. If you'd like to submit

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Speaker 1: a scene suggestion by email, please right to the damn

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Speaker 1: podcast at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's

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Speaker 1: Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. Because everybody was

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Speaker 1: clouded up. Scene one from listener Chase, who wrote, Hey, Alchemists,

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Speaker 1: It's Chase Bennett from Kentucky. I've been a listener since

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Speaker 1: the beginning this week. My town was hit by a

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Speaker 1: devastating tornado. The morning after. There was no power, no internet,

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Speaker 1: no gas station beside my house anymore, so I had

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Speaker 1: to stay in being stuck inside, I wanted to listen

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Speaker 1: to something. No Internet, I had to look to what

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Speaker 1: was already on my phone. The only thing I had

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Speaker 1: was Alchemy this from two thousand nineteen, and what's the

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Speaker 1: first scene? Everyone stuck was stuck in a target because

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Speaker 1: of a storm. Yikes. I took this as a sign

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Speaker 1: to write you. I love each and every one of y'all.

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Speaker 1: My scene suggestion is professional Taylor love Chase. Now, before

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Speaker 1: we start that one, I went to Red Cross and

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Speaker 1: made a donation on behalf of Alchemy. This uh so

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Speaker 1: inspired by Chases. Uh missive, so thank you for that Chase.

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Speaker 1: Uh personal No, professional Taylor, professional tailor. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. I need to get I need to get

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Speaker 1: the pants hemmed, they need to be shorter. See you

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Speaker 1: look at me? What do you see? Do you see

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Speaker 1: my hype? Yeah? Okay, so when I buy pants, they're

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Speaker 1: always gonna need to be short. But hold on, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Put these shoes of those shoes, yeah, put

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Speaker 1: them on, They're gonna add a couple of inches. Okay,

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Speaker 1: wow wow, look at that. No, I don't need to

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Speaker 1: him them now right. I mean, if I have these shoes,

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Speaker 1: what about all the other shoes that I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 1: I know I'm not a tailor. I'm just in line.

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Speaker 1: But you've just extended what's underneath his pants. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: actually doesn't change his his his pant legs. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you for that. I'll wait quietly behind No, no,

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Speaker 1: thank you. What is your name? Jerry? I was gonna say, Jim, Uh,

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Speaker 1: pretty close. Let's thank Gary. Jim sir cheery in Jerry, Jerry,

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Speaker 1: I'm sticking with Jim. Sir. Can I take the shoes

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Speaker 1: off and we have the pants to my bottom? I

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Speaker 1: don't like that, m I'm just going with Jim. Jim suggested. Also,

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Speaker 1: have you been drinking? Just a none of my business.

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Speaker 1: But I'm about coffee and water. I'm so sorry. I'm

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Speaker 1: not I'm not a professional tailor. What are you? What

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Speaker 1: are you professional? I just do office work, secretarial stuff, secretary, organizational. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I organized and alphabetize it, put into numbers. Jerry, you're

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Speaker 1: late again, bud Well, I'll tell you what. It's uh

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Speaker 1: time I'm gonna be late. It's the last time I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be late because I'm putting in my two weeks. Notice. Look,

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Speaker 1: I think you gotta leave now. I was gonna give

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Speaker 1: the standard two weeks. I think you're good now. I

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Speaker 1: kind of I kind of was counting Bob Garry. You

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Speaker 1: guys think Jerry shoul leave now or you wanted to

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Speaker 1: stick around. Um, he's a he's a piece of sh it. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's just that I've got a new business plan. But I.

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Speaker 1: We don't want to. We don't want to hear that.

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Speaker 1: I just finished what I was doing before lunch. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: were you waving me away? I was waving away. I

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Speaker 1: don't give a guy. Damn. What they're saying I need

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Speaker 1: is six hundred thousand units today? Did you just bump

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Speaker 1: into me? Oh my god, look at your suit, sir,

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Put that box down with all those weird

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Speaker 1: things inside for a second. Let me look at that suit.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's a good suit. Do you have

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Speaker 1: a job. I am in between job. Shut the funk up.

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Speaker 1: I want to hire you right now. How does six

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Speaker 1: figures sound like a hundred thousand dollars? Just how many

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Speaker 1: figures is it? That doesn't quite make it to a million?

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Speaker 1: I'm talking six figures. Let me pull them out right here.

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Speaker 1: This is one figure. Get this figure here, check this

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Speaker 1: out and all so I can pay you three dollars

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Speaker 1: a year. That's more than I've ever been paid in

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Speaker 1: my life. Well, listen, I need to yes, know right now?

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Speaker 1: Do you want to work for me? Yes? Yes, fantastic.

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Speaker 1: They put this little pin on you right there, a

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Speaker 1: little It's okay, sir? What do you mean you just

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Speaker 1: hired this guy off the street. We just I just

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Speaker 1: fired him. I need six hundred thousand units. And now,

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Speaker 1: what were you saying? He we just fired him? Who's

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Speaker 1: I fired him and we supported him from the other room.

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Speaker 1: I was chasing a fly out of my office and

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Speaker 1: I shoot, So let me get this, Let me get

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Speaker 1: this this correct, Ralph. You can't fire him yourself. You

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Speaker 1: have to have other people do it. I just I

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Speaker 1: needed some support. Yeah, some supports. You know, you do

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Speaker 1: need some support in tailoring. I just hired a man

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Speaker 1: with the most fantastics you would I've ever seen. Actually,

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Speaker 1: all three You're fine, so you can get good suits.

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Speaker 1: And hey, how you doing, miss time stand from stands

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Speaker 1: exterminating You said there was a fly that was bothering you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's just one fly. It's kind of awkward that we're

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Speaker 1: in my office now since I was the one fly

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Speaker 1: and you called us to come in and I can't

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Speaker 1: get it killed. I can't kill it, okay, I want

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Speaker 1: to fly dead. And the irony here is that I

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Speaker 1: was fired from my job, so I'm not technically supposed

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Speaker 1: to be in my office right now. But that's how

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Speaker 1: badly I want to kill this little fly. So if

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Speaker 1: I tell you that we only do catch and release,

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Speaker 1: was there a problem? Yeah, there's a problem because also

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Speaker 1: on your website you have a fly hanging by a

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Speaker 1: noose and graphic. So I to mean that if you

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Speaker 1: would kill the flies not release them. Yeah, well, you know,

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Speaker 1: listen at all, relative man, I don't think you understand.

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Speaker 1: Exterminator is a loose word. We don't really kill anything.

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Speaker 1: You understand, Um, do you get that? I do understand.

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Speaker 1: I actually don't understand. I'm sorry. Exterminator means let me

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Speaker 1: take out my dictionary here. Exterminator to a company that

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Speaker 1: kills things till they're dead. Carry carry, we gotta, we

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Speaker 1: gotta go. I just need to kill this fly. I

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Speaker 1: will leave a little bit. Tell you were right to

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Speaker 1: fire those bozos, because if they promise that a fly

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Speaker 1: will be hung by its neck until dead, then they

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Speaker 1: should deliver on that. And that's what we do. We execute.

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Speaker 1: We we don't. We don't just exterminate. Exit. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: saw you have the lethal injection and you have the

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Speaker 1: firing by um like a squad. I like that too,

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Speaker 1: which one day one we're gonna do any or all.

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Speaker 1: I think I would prefer the firing by a group

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Speaker 1: because I think I'm sorry, but my fly, that's right,

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Speaker 1: my client, I'm not gonna be had shot at until

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Speaker 1: there is a trial by his peers. All right, We're

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Speaker 1: gonna have this done correctly through the law. This is

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Speaker 1: not cruel and unusual punished. I think he is to

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Speaker 1: be executed by a squad of his peers. Flies with

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Speaker 1: guns are going, Oh hey, Jerry, I am and you

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Speaker 1: can see I'm interviewing from my old job. Well, uh,

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Speaker 1: you can sit down and try. But I kind of

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Speaker 1: have a preconceived idea of you from my previous experience

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Speaker 1: working under you, and I get that that seems fair.

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Speaker 1: I just if you'll notice the suit. It's a nice

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Speaker 1: um and with that came an attitude change that doesn't

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Speaker 1: surprise me. Okay, so this is good. I mean you

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Speaker 1: probably know right as soon as you got a new suit,

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Speaker 1: good things started happening to you. Right. Well, honestly, the

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Speaker 1: suit itself was pretty good, but I had to take

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Speaker 1: some scissors to it. The finishing touches to a suit

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Speaker 1: that really makes it customized. You know, did I ever

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Speaker 1: tell you the story of the first pair of pants

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Speaker 1: I tailored? Is this part of the interview. No, you're

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Speaker 1: probably not going to get the job, but I'd kind

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Speaker 1: of like to tell the story. No, thank you, well

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Speaker 1: never so is this your restume? Yeah? It only has

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Speaker 1: this company up. Yea, this is this is the only

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Speaker 1: job I've ever worked at. And you're not getting very

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Speaker 1: good references from us. From Bob and Carry are also

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Speaker 1: in the in the waiting room. I help you treat

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Speaker 1: them a little, they'll be treated better, but they're still

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Speaker 1: going to get the job. When I was, when I

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Speaker 1: was on the up and up, I was about to

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Speaker 1: start my own business, and instead you crushed my dreams

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Speaker 1: out and I was crying down? How did I crushed?

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Speaker 1: In between? I gave two weeks because I care. No,

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Speaker 1: we got to see Bob suit. It's fucking insane. I

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Speaker 1: don't even deserve this job. And Carrie, I mean you'll

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Speaker 1: see you know what, after careful consideration, I think he left.

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Speaker 1: Can you send it Bob or Karen? Jerry Jerry check

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Speaker 1: it out? Triple breasted, triple breasted. Oh that is not

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Speaker 1: what I thought you meant when he said triple breasted.

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Speaker 1: Then that has seen one just rolled her eyes. She

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Speaker 1: did that was you're enjoy the crossing and rolling, had

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Speaker 1: an audience full of people and the sound of them

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Speaker 1: rolling their eyes perform. I just I just had a

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Speaker 1: tux tailored and the gentleman was doing the hymn part

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Speaker 1: and I said, how long have you been? Have you

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Speaker 1: been doing this? And he looked at me with this

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Speaker 1: like forever gays and he said, I've been doing this

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Speaker 1: since I was a fifteen years role. Oh god, I

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Speaker 1: mean this man was so old this and I felt

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Speaker 1: like I was in the presence of an actual master. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Not not your local dry cleaners. I'm talking about Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, he gets it. Yeah, there's no way to

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Speaker 1: have sucked for sixty eight years at that. That would

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Speaker 1: be something serious. Ripley's scene, too, comes from Patron v

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Speaker 1: I P. Larry Stewart, who wrote, Hey, Kevin slash Cole,

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Speaker 1: that's fair. I hope all has been well, James. As

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Speaker 1: far as the whole Larry Lawrence situation, in your defense,

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Speaker 1: my name is not that common as common Anglo names go,

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Speaker 1: not like your Mike's, your Chris's, your Kevin's. So I

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Speaker 1: get why you wouldn't be aware of the Larry Lawrence connection.

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Speaker 1: Now he's letting you off the hook. And I'm calling bullshit.

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Speaker 1: Oh come on, Kevin, No, you're right, James, I'm sorry. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: my suggestion this time around is Her Majesty's Royal Marines.

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Speaker 1: Hope I can make it out to l A to

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Speaker 1: see you guys live if you are back doing that.

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Speaker 1: Best wishes Larry Stewart if you hear this in time,

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Speaker 1: will be at the West Side Comedy Theater some of

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Speaker 1: us on Sunday, Anuary six, at eight pm. If you're

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Speaker 1: hearing this after the fact, man, did you miss one

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Speaker 1: hell of a show Her Majesty's Royal Marine. Al Right,

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Speaker 1: everyone knows standing attention please this. Yes, now, as each

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Speaker 1: of you know, you've all brant in from your different

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Speaker 1: sectors for very specific mission, you've already had attention attention. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I asked the questions. I guess Oh yeah, you you

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Speaker 1: slipped a new bit of a French checks sent there

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Speaker 1: for a moment, and I'm just curious, are you in

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Speaker 1: fact the leader we were told to me? Interesting, you've

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Speaker 1: actually passed your first test. I am not on English,

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Speaker 1: cut on, I am a Frinch knows this that this

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Speaker 1: mission calls for unification of our People's follow up question,

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Speaker 1: if I may understand where her Majesty's Royal Marines. Right, yes, right,

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Speaker 1: So being led by a quote unquote frog seems odd

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Speaker 1: to me. Now, well, if if I if I heard

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Speaker 1: correctly you decline, what is the very tail end of

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Speaker 1: that speech you met? You were about to segue into

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Speaker 1: a German accent? Yeah, I noticed that too, but noticed

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Speaker 1: that she sounds like she might be a much bit Australian.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who I can trust here anymore? Right

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Speaker 1: you You should comment on people's accents, that's for sure.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't going to say anything, but you sound Australian, your majesty. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's happened, it's happened. Who is this? Who is this

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Speaker 1: amating side my chamber? It is someone from the someone

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Speaker 1: is coming. It works for you. We remember you hired

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Speaker 1: him last year. His name is Roger right, Roger, Roger Steele,

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Speaker 1: Roger Steel, He's Roger Stone on the US Marines. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't be able to get here if he wasn't hired.

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Speaker 1: He has all the proper documents, et cetera. Why here's

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Speaker 1: the steel? Yesmagest high degrees And you didn't know, yes

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Speaker 1: you did. I had a fly infestation that I wanted

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Speaker 1: in educated. Indeed, oh, your majesty, that was actually Roger Stone.

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Speaker 1: This is Roger Steele's working to the military. Roger Stone

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Speaker 1: is the disgrace lawyer, attorney or something who then got

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Speaker 1: into the extermination business. Roger Steele is working for your

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Speaker 1: Stone Stone manifort in Black. I've come. I've come to

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Speaker 1: report that this experiment is um. This military experiment is

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Speaker 1: is crumbling. They're questioning each other's accents, They're getting no

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Speaker 1: actual work done. It's like a farce in there, and

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Speaker 1: it's very European. I'll take your word for that, Mr Steele. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I have a ball tonight and I don't have a date.

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Speaker 1: I have to decline. Mr Steele, do you understand that

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Speaker 1: this is her majesty the Queen. She never is the

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Speaker 1: first one to ask someone on a date. And well, yes,

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Speaker 1: of course, Roger Steal on my hand, how where you

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Speaker 1: want a chicken smoke? I would love to have them

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Speaker 1: just over kind of here where normally a choir would

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Speaker 1: be standing. Let's just have some some chickens there, and

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Speaker 1: we've got thirty seven. I know the order was for

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Speaker 1: thirty eight, but one of them didn't didn't make the

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Speaker 1: triple the way. If you know what I'm saying, you

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Speaker 1: mean to say he died, Well, he pissed me off,

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Speaker 1: So what did you do? She threw him out the window.

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Speaker 1: I snuffed his lights and I believe it is one

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Speaker 1: of the terms. Why didn't you just gonna say you

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Speaker 1: killed him? I'm not gonna You're not gonna get in trouble.

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Speaker 1: I just just say you murdered your chicken? Are you?

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Speaker 1: Are you wired? Yes? I worked for the Queen. I'm

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Speaker 1: always wearing a while, yes, yes, so she likes to

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Speaker 1: hear about this kind of stuff though she's kind of

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Speaker 1: a sick freak. So go ahead, Well that was your

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Speaker 1: woods not anyways, if I could get these chickens to

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Speaker 1: where they're supposed to be, because I've I've got a

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Speaker 1: local production of Christmas Colle and I'm playing but nice.

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Speaker 1: So I'm very excited to get to and you're getting

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Speaker 1: paid by the line for that. When are you? I

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Speaker 1: heard in cookies? So I'm very How wonderful salad? Do

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Speaker 1: you enjoy it? Mrs Steele? Yeah? I love? What is?

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Speaker 1: This is just a fly? You managed it? I will,

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Speaker 1: I will get rid of this fly for you. I

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Speaker 1: just want to let you know, this is not my

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Speaker 1: job necessarily what I thought you stand in that's road,

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Speaker 1: your stone fact. Why don't we bring in your your brigade,

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Speaker 1: your your royal marines to get rid of these flies?

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Speaker 1: What do you say? What do I say? They come

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Speaker 1: now clean? I'm here to at your service. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure what I'm here for, some sort of maybe flying

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Speaker 1: station or something like that. We're here to take care

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Speaker 1: of you. He must be from my commonwealth. Well let's see.

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Speaker 1: All right, now here's in charge of this and now

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Speaker 1: I'm going to make sure that you've destroyed all the

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Speaker 1: flies inside this castle. How would you refer to us again,

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Speaker 1: your majesty, I'm asleep in my chamber healing. I keep

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Speaker 1: a diary and I just want to make sure I

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Speaker 1: got that. I'm not sure how to spell it, but

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Speaker 1: thanks a whimpy kid. Yes, you have a job, get

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Speaker 1: to it. But we shoot at the fly in here.

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Speaker 1: You're sucking marines. I don't know. I just feel like

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of people here and there's what you'd

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Speaker 1: call collateral damage, So then maybe don't do that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: how about some hand to hand combat? Yeah, all right,

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Speaker 1: here we go, Sterling whoever gets their hands on that

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Speaker 1: fly so smart. Wow. Imagine see this is a beautiful bedroom.

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Speaker 1: This is my healing chamber. Ah, what looks like a

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Speaker 1: wet socophagus is actually embryotic. Notod I sit inside and

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Speaker 1: heals myself. Very nice. We'll thank you for a lovely evening.

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Speaker 1: Have you seen Stargate? You've never seen starg I've actually

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Speaker 1: I've never heard of that title. I'm being honest. The

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Speaker 1: head a show. It was on for many star Gates. Yeah,

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00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: there's so many s g one. You know you were

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Speaker 1: summoned to me, your majesty, Oh Stargate. No, no, no,

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00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: not not yet actually star Gate? Why are you here? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Can you? Can you please put me in the sarcophagus.

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00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: I need to I could leave. No, no, Steel, you

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Speaker 1: need to see this. You have not been dismissed, sir.

356
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 1: You don't know when it's time for you to leave.

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00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: Here we go, mom your back while I'm here and

358
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Speaker 1: placing you delicately in the stock off. It's warmer then

359
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Speaker 1: it looks steel. I want to give you something before

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Speaker 1: you leave. Kind of just tired. I just think hid

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Speaker 1: in the hay, hid in the hay. Here it is

362
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 1: a codex given to me by my father's father's father's

363
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: father's wise father's codex. Not familiar, you will be. You

364
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 1: need to decipher it. The Queen of all flies, her

365
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: location is there. I must rest, I must rest the stargate.

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Speaker 1: What do I do with this? Well, the Queen did

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Speaker 1: ask you to decipher the codex so I would get

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Speaker 1: on that. His code is coach short for codex. I'm sorry,

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00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: all right, all right, and you've been dismissed in case

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Speaker 1: you didn't get the hint. Okay, thank you, students. If

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00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: I could have your attention, please less rustling of iPads

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Speaker 1: and computers and on the board, define the difference between

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Speaker 1: code and cos I'm the American exchange student in America. Yes,

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Speaker 1: Sam's shield. What have you got for us today? I

375
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 1: think the difference is just the ex professor. The X

376
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 1: was what Captain America offered up? Would anyone else like

377
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Speaker 1: to come in? Um? Great answering that question? What's up?

378
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 1: What the fun? What are you doing here? What do

379
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Speaker 1: you mean what I'm doing here? Around? She said? Cambridge,

380
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 1: that Cambridge on scholarship. I don't know if you fucking

381
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Speaker 1: know what's going on here, man, but I'm the token

382
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Speaker 1: American around here always. Okay, Oh sorry, I'm American, hot

383
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Speaker 1: American Exchange students. I'm not talking to you hot American Exchange.

384
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: How what's your name again? What's your name? Clip? Clip? Yeah? Clip?

385
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: How could I forget that? Um? So, there's like a

386
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: student ball. Listen, I'll go. I'll be there. Oh I'm

387
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 1: sorry you blended in with a locker. I didn't even

388
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: notice you. Ship um clip, I was wondering if you

389
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: want to go to the bowl Student Bowl with me

390
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 1: this week. I guess I got a lot of starting

391
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 1: to do, plus I got football, got a lot of starting.

392
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 1: You mean soccer? And what's starting? You said you're a

393
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: little starting to do studying. Oh I don't understand your accents,

394
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 1: so thick. Um. Yeah, you know what. I guess I

395
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: should have some time for recreation. Yeah, let's do it.

396
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 1: Should I pick you up at four? Oh? No, the

397
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: ball starts at seven. We don't get out of classes

398
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: until four thirty, So how about like six? Perfect? Totally?

399
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I gotta get a suit. Hey American guy,

400
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 1: do you know where I can get a suit? Yeah? This, Yeah,

401
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 1: there's actually a really great Taylor down the street. Awesome

402
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Man, I'm so glad I get

403
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 1: to talk to another America. You did the ship out

404
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: of me in that class. I guess we're like I

405
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: guess we're like best friends. Then. Yeah, don't worry. You're

406
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 1: in the good hands because I have been a tailor

407
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 1: for a sixty eight years. Oh wow, okay, cool, it's

408
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: my first suit. I don't really know what I should

409
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: for a South. Yeah, I am a seventy years old.

410
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: Oh you're doing I was a two years old when

411
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: the first I put a kids together, my first South.

412
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: Oh you're like a savant. I am a savant. Let's

413
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: just see how where do you dress? Uh? Where I dress?

414
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: Let's see what the side of you dress on? What

415
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 1: side of my dresses on? Let's see what the side

416
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: of your dresses on? What side is my dresses on?

417
00:28:55,800 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: Let's see what side? Okay, both both sides. There must

418
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: to be a biafra. Cant it cool? Like a snake's tongue? Yes, exactly? Okay,

419
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: what what the I'm not gonna go to go see it.

420
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go steal you want. I'm not gonna

421
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: go see it. Alright, Steel, I need you to sit

422
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: down oh wait wait, I'm I'm gonna get my steps in.

423
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: No sit down, steal, You're in trouble. You were supposed

424
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: to go to Cambridge and blend in, but you're bringing

425
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: bowie knife out in class. Scare another American real students?

426
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: Are you not the Marine Corps corpole that we thought

427
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: you were? I am not, sir, you got a beard?

428
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: Why to clean up? Try to look young for class?

429
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: I am not. I'm not what you thought I was, sir,

430
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: terribly started to interrupt a stargate here the queen is

431
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 1: still waiting on that code X translation. If you I

432
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: figured it out? Yes, um, it's a It was like

433
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: a before and after thing, like like on Willow Fortune,

434
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: Like on Willow Fortune, Ye, like Teflon don Quixote. That's

435
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: what it was. We're not gonna top Teflon don Quixote. No, no,

436
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: there's no driving past that. Scene three comes from listener James,

437
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: who wrote high y'all a scene suggestion. Saturday Night Live

438
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 1: tries expanding its appeal by starting a second show in

439
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 1: a different city. PS. It has been fun to hear

440
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: those old episodes again on the replay. Still I miss Kevin.

441
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: I grateful for Cole. I hope you all have a happy,

442
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: most wonderful pot of the year, and I'm looking forward

443
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: to the marvelous Mrs Masal season four. Thanks James. Uh So,

444
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: who's who's coming in next down? Sure, it's all the

445
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: people that are not good enough to be on like

446
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: our main show, so we're thinking of making like a

447
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: worse one. So these are just kind of bad people.

448
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: And it's in what's the city, New Jersey? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, Greg,

449
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: Do you know what's going on at all? No? I don't.

450
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 1: I'm playing catch You're you're the show runner for this,

451
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 1: You're yeah, you know. Here's the thing. I was a

452
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 1: writer's assistant on this side, and I've just been given

453
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 1: the helm of this fucking rickety machine, and uh yeah,

454
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: I need some, need some everybody. My name is Dan. Dan.

455
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Dan. We will we will get you

456
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 1: when we need you. Okay, this is this is the

457
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 1: third time you've barged into this room. Okay, so super excited.

458
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: We'll get you. Let me need you. And it's it's

459
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: three original characters, two impressions. That's right, Dan, Thank you,

460
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: And by the way, we are one minute away from

461
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: seeing you one minute. I like Dan already. I think

462
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: you just hired seriously already. Y that's what I like.

463
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: He's done it so many times. Well, let's hire somebody

464
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 1: who wants to fun. I get him from Dan. Hi. Guys, Hi,

465
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: I'm Dan, Um, I'm from Utah, and I'm now going

466
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 1: to give you my three original characters and my two impressions.

467
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 1: First character, is anybody gonna eat this? Second character? Oh, man,

468
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: don't mind if I do. And my third character, I

469
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: ain't going Uh, my first impression, don't tell us who

470
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: it is, just doing that's part of the fun for us.

471
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: And the penguins kept walking in the snow. Oh, I

472
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 1: think it's the penguin from Batman. And my second um

473
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: my second impression. Um, somebody stop me, Dan, I'd like it.

474
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: Shoot you straight to Lauren's office. In the next couple

475
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: of weeks. You've made it through the first, second, and

476
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 1: third round. I love your energy most of what you did,

477
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: so we'll be in touch. Hey, is anybody gonna eat this?

478
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: Well that he's like pretty much the whole list. We

479
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: don't got anybody. Hey, do you want to watch SNL?

480
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. It just hasn't been what it used

481
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: to be. I want something fresh, Well what about newer?

482
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: Yeah it airs at the same time. Yeah, it's a

483
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: productive It's all the same people except worse. Okay, now,

484
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: now the popcorn And there's live on car Pecock five

485
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: from Newark Opera adjacent building. It's Saturday Night Live starring

486
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 1: Dan Mercer, Dan Mercer, Dan Mercer starring Dan Mercer. Like

487
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: Dan Mercer is give me the breakout of it's not.

488
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: It's a mixture of Hey, Kiano, it's pete listen, give

489
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: me a call when you can. I've got an opening

490
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: screating my calls. I'm here, hey man, So there's an

491
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,719
Speaker 1: offer for you to host Saturday Night Live. Oh wow?

492
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: Is it because the matre coming out? Uh? That's right,

493
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: all right either Okay, so there's a little caveat, but

494
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 1: I will say we're super excited here at the agency

495
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:13,240
Speaker 1: about this for you. And you start rehearsals on Monday.

496
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 1: I think there's a table read pretty much very light rehearsal,

497
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: and then you're there for the week with the show,

498
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: of course live Saturday. What fun are you? What are

499
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: you doing? I'm Kyoto Koo and I'm here for Saturday Night.

500
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 1: What are you knocking. I'm Kyotto Reefs. You might not

501
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: recognize me because I'm not wearing my dark sunglasses. What

502
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: are you talking? You want to buy cocus on from

503
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 1: the matrix? I'm kinda look, buddy, what do you need?

504
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 1: What's what do you what do you fucking want? What

505
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: are you trying to do? I'm like hosting Saturday Live

506
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 1: this week? Oh ship, you want to funk my beck?

507
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: Come here? Okay, alright, follow me, just so you know.

508
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 1: There's got no heat in this room. All right, Oh,

509
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: but it's kind of chilly. It's winter talk. Yeah, it

510
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: is a good eye Jesus fucking hi. Oh sorry, we

511
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 1: got in the same time. Do you need him first? Okay, okay, Um,

512
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: so I'm with the costume department. Um. So it's like

513
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: a sketch show. There's a lot of different sketches, a

514
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 1: lot of different characters. So you'll just be wearing exactly

515
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: what you're wearing right now for everything because we don't

516
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 1: have any department. Usually it works. Okay, Hey, nice to

517
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: meet you, Dan. This is the table reading. This is

518
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 1: like where's everybody else? The writers are on their way.

519
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: I just want to tell you, like, it's going to

520
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: be a blast, and they came up with some really

521
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: cool things for you. I think you're gonna like it. Oh,

522
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 1: here they come. Now, all the writer's gotten an accident.

523
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: They were car poining and the car just exploded. That's okay,

524
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: that's okay, that's okay. I have some ideas. Great, do

525
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 1: you trust me? Of course, Let's just go out there.

526
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 1: Let's just go what like, do you trust me? Are

527
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 1: we not? We're not gonna mourn are We're not gonna

528
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: mourn them at all? We don't have time. It's I

529
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 1: never even met them four minutes and four days till places.

530
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, this isn't what I expected saying

531
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: out live to be. Like, well, I mean the famous

532
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: Laurd Michaels quotees like the show doesn't go on because

533
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: it's eleven thirty of the show goes on because it's

534
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: in Newark, and it's Mercer Mercer and Reeves is hosting

535
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 1: this week and is an incredible Alex Winter. So like

536
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 1: the ladies and gentlemen, give it up for your host, Kiano.

537
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 1: That doesn't look like Kiano Reeves, No, it doesn't. This

538
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: is some guy doing an impressive counter reef. Maybe he

539
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: just got much older, you know, because I'm doing the

540
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 1: matrix billets. I think that's actually Dan Mercer. Is that No,

541
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: I'm Coronals. He said his name was Corono, because his

542
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:24,479
Speaker 1: name was coron This is insane. How can we have known?

543
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,439
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. I hope we should

544
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,919
Speaker 1: have mourned. This is the curse. All right, everybody, thanks

545
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: for meeting us, Thanks everybody for meeting here. Yeah, so

546
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: we're gonna go with these numbers. We gotta go over

547
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:43,359
Speaker 1: Newark SNL versus. Dan. I know that you just got

548
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: promoted here in NBC, and I just want to let

549
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: you know that we as a team, I think we

550
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,320
Speaker 1: can speak for when we said we are so happy

551
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 1: and proud to be under your tutel. Definitely awesome. Sorry,

552
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: I'm late. I was at the memorial service for the

553
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: twenty writers who died. Okay, Well you know it doesn't

554
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 1: look good when he started media off late. But that's okay.

555
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: So here we go. Here are the numbers. Looks like

556
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: we are doing better than SNL. We're doing better than SNL. Yeah,

557
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,720
Speaker 1: more people are tuning in. Um. Some of the reports

558
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,919
Speaker 1: here say it's for the train wreck factor. I don't

559
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 1: really know what that means. Train wreck factor. I think

560
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: it's the writers. I think they're mourning the writers. Right,

561
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 1: it was more of a van wreck. But yeah, I

562
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: don't I don't know. It wasn't hit by a train.

563
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: The van wasn't hit. I think it exploded the car.

564
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: The van just exploded, as far as I recall, Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. Wait,

565
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 1: excuse me, this is a closed meeting. Oh sho, it's

566
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: Pete Davidson. Hey, hey, hey, what's going on? What what

567
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: do you This is a Yeah, you just stopped by

568
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: to let everybody know that I'm banging somebody else super

569
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: famous and hut pretty cool. Yeah. I just gonna keep

570
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 1: swinging above my weight and uh until you know I

571
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: got rejected by any of these people. Well that's going

572
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: to be any minute now you Uh yeah, it's kind

573
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 1: of private. Hillary Clinton, she's so famous, Pete, Pete, can

574
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: I ask you something? I know you kind of tend

575
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 1: to go, like you said, like punch above your weight?

576
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: Have you ever considered punching down your weight? Like an

577
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: executive for NBC's Saturday Night New Work Live, Clear, what

578
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 1: do I just got? Was officially yesterday? I'm single, just breathe.

579
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: You're going to speak sex with every intern. Wow, you've

580
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: been married, so what a little unethical? At least I

581
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: got to getting fired. Okay, your peer, I don't have

582
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 1: the power to fire you. Besides, ever, I don't like quit.

583
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: Wait what hey, Claire, Claire, I know that was weird

584
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: in there that everybody he quit and everybody got mad.

585
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 1: But Keana is back. Are you sure it's Keanu for you? Okay?

586
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: And I just want to make sure I'm not surprised

587
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 1: by that because I'm ugly, but I'm confident and men

588
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 1: are attracted to that. Um, are you sure it's Keanu?

589
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 1: Because we had the wrong one on our show right

590
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: right then? So it's there or whatever. I'm just not sure. Okay,

591
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: Well anyway, Sorry, what does he want? I should let you?

592
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: You want to talk to you in the back of

593
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,839
Speaker 1: that limousine over there? Okay. I hope he doesn't want

594
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: me to suck his dick, because I'll do it. I mean,

595
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: if I'm meeting him in the back of his blacked

596
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 1: out window limousine, I think we know where this is going.

597
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 1: I've been in new work long enough to know how

598
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: show biz works. Okay, Okay, Yeah, I just want to say,

599
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: I can't do this. I got to be married to

600
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:12,399
Speaker 1: you and I can't get divorced. No, Honey, Matt, sign

601
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: that we had We had this separation like a year ago.

602
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: We both signed the papers a while ago. Signed I

603
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: signed it under duress. I don't know what to tell you.

604
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 1: It's officially. Yeah, I think it's Toronto, Claire. Why don't

605
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 1: you get in my limit and leave this dead beat?

606
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 1: Oh you're back with that guy? Are you fucking kidding?

607
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: We are divorced in the eyes of God and the law.

608
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 1: We are not together. We're separated, fully divorced officially. Okay,

609
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 1: all right, okay, all right, jesus Hi, you want me

610
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 1: in the back here with you? Good in the car.

611
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: I apologize about the pants. I'm getting my pants, Taylor.

612
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 1: I know what's happening here. I'm I'm no spring chicken.

613
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 1: This is not my first time trying to cram a

614
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 1: sausage into a two small bun if you know what

615
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 1: I mean. Excuse me. I'm so Mr Kerry, would you

616
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 1: like the tea? It's c oh wrong, Amusine, I thought

617
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,879
Speaker 1: this is Jim Carreys. I'm sorry, you just find my way.

618
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: Excuse me. Miss, that's how embarrassing, So Stargate, I just

619
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: want to say we're very happy to have you as

620
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: our second ever host. I thinks are pretty smooth around here.

621
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 1: Totally why I'm here, but imagesty, it did request it,

622
00:43:56,480 --> 00:44:00,080
Speaker 1: and I must on my queen. We're super excited it.

623
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: I was thinking, I'm a kind of a puzzle guy.

624
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 1: Are you a puzzle guy? By a chance? U? Jigsaw cross?

625
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 1: What I was thinking more of like, uh, Wheel of

626
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:16,800
Speaker 1: Fortune style? Alright, yeah, before and after? Don't tell me

627
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 1: you have a before and after already cooked up? No? No, no, no,

628
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: um no no are you are you going to pip

629
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: me to come up with Dan Dan? Dan so started interrupted. Um,

630
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that, um, the fund

631
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 1: for the writer's has gone through, and uh, everyone's really

632
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 1: excited about that. So we're gonna be celebrating that later

633
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: on if you're free. Um, I didn't really hear you,

634
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 1: guess I was looking at my phone looking up Before

635
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 1: and After a Wheel of Fortune? That is our show.

636
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 1: That's sort of honesty is how I'd like to end

637
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: every one of our episodes. Thank you, also very damn much.

638
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 1: Let's snank our cast um for for giving you way

639
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 1: more than you asked for and or dessert. Let's start

640
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:14,439
Speaker 1: with Mr Chris Overado. Chris um tell us about Comedy Fixed,

641
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 1: still happening, still new episodes have a pause. Yeah, we

642
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 1: kind of like talked a lot for a very long

643
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: time and now we're just taking a break. I'm very

644
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 1: hot right now either written, I'm like sweating to death. Okay,

645
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 1: for the record, I couldn't help it. Couldn't help it again.

646
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 1: I know, we think we said this earlier. We don't

647
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,879
Speaker 1: know when this airs, unfortunately, but hopefully they can catch

648
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,399
Speaker 1: us at Sketch Fest in San Francisco that's January nine,

649
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: and or back here in Santa Monica, California, January believe

650
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,800
Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, I'm excited to start seeing the people,

651
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 1: start seeing the people. Yeah, we're very excited about these

652
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 1: live shows. And if anyone gets us in time and

653
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 1: would like to go, please do. We love seeing you

654
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 1: there and it's just exciting as hell for us to

655
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: get back on a live stage. So thank you for this,

656
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: Caroline Cotter. Yeah, did we celebrate new work enough for

657
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: your likes? Um? Yeah, I think even more than I

658
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: ever could have thought possible. Sure, and thank you for

659
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 1: being here and happy holiday. Yeah, happy holidays. Thanks for

660
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 1: having me, um anything you'd like to Yeah, only because

661
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: you look so like your soul was just lost there.

662
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 1: You gotta follow me on Instagram at Cotter poop By.

663
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: Have two podcasts, unfortunately, one's Cotter Core one Stinkers Stinkers Stinkers,

664
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:49,959
Speaker 1: where we bring guests on to talk about the worst

665
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:54,359
Speaker 1: ideas they've ever had, um and it stinks like shit.

666
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: I love the hell out of that. I can't wait

667
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 1: to be invited to be a guest. Yeah, well we'll see.

668
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,439
Speaker 1: Just you go, you got sometimes you gotta go after

669
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: That's all. That was a lesson to those out there

670
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: listening and watch Greig Kowski. Okay, I got two before

671
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 1: and after that. If Will Fortune producers are listening, they

672
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 1: can take or leave them. Union Jack in the Box,

673
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: Chicken Ala, King Kong are really good. I feel like

674
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,959
Speaker 1: you had those in the chamber before we started. Noe.

675
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: Is that something like high Rise and Shine? Yeah, Oh

676
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: that's a good one. That's a good one. That's either

677
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: easy once you get in a rhythm. Yeah, I don't

678
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 1: you would want to work on the rhythm of that.

679
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: Speaking of rhythm, yeah, I probably shouldn't say it as

680
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 1: a question. And thank you Joey Gray for being here.

681
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 1: Thank you. Speaking of podcasts outside the sphere of alchemy,

682
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: this which you shouldn't do, but if you have to,

683
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 1: dip out. I was recently a guest on Comedy Bang

684
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:02,439
Speaker 1: Bang Check get out. Yeah, crazy character is really fun,

685
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: So give it a listen. You can't wait, I can't wait.

686
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:07,800
Speaker 1: Thank you for that. This is a small little podcast.

687
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,360
Speaker 1: I feel like we should help support that podcast. You

688
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 1: know you lift it up. Yeah, give them a chance.

689
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 1: I'd of comedy Bang Bang. I'm sure that makes sense

690
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:23,240
Speaker 1: to somebody. James Zeeni Hi, I am just so happy

691
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: to be here today. Check our game front at game

692
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 1: front dot com and on YouTube. Sweet let's thank our

693
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 1: engineering producers to the stars, Mr Babe to find folks

694
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:41,400
Speaker 1: that I heart media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollack. Reminding

695
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 1: you to please be kind to each other is the

696
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 1: easiest damn choice. Happy holidays, Uh should you be listening

697
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 1: at this time of year? Thank you very much for

698
00:48:49,880 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: listening at all. Until next time, and a football of