WEBVTT - "Monogamy" w/ Rostam 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:20.520 Tour announcement starts now. Hello everyone, it is me Sam 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:24.160 and I am going on tour this summer. I'm doing 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:28.560 my hour of incredible stand up comedy and I would. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:30.280 Love, love love to see you there. 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:38.120 So I will be in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Chicago, DC, Boston, Philly, 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:40.320 and maybe a couple more. But if you are in 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:43.919 any of those places, please please please get tickets. I 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:46.440 would love to see you all there. And I'm really 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:51.320 really excited because I love touring now, So see you there. Okay, 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:53.000 Andrey yet Bye. 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:56.520 Hi everyone. This is George from the Future here to 0:00:56.560 --> 0:00:58.800 say that we had so much fun with our guest 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:02.080 this episode that we never actually properly introduced him in 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.200 the beginning. So in case, for whatever reason, you have 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:07.880 not read the title of this episode or the description, 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:10.679 I just wanted to say that our guest today is Rostam, 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:13.800 whose new album American Stories is out now, and who 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:17.240 you know from his three solo albums, for producing albums 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:19.959 for artists like him and Claro, and for being a 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:23.240 founding member of Vampire Weekend. He is one of our faves. 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:25.200 We loved talking to him, and we hope you love 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:29.000 listening to our conversation. So here is rostam. 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:31.000 Podcast starts. Now. 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:32.960 I went to a school where there's something called Red 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.880 versus Blue where it was like this like school wide, 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:38.800 like you gotta sign red or blue, and it was 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:42.360 like the school wide battle. Yeah, there was like Tug. 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:45.399 Of Wars sports. We had that too, Sure did you 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:45.759 have that? 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:47.480 You mean like field day? Sort of? Yeah? 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.720 Basically basically field day. What you just did now was 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:54.360 actually toxic without you realizing it, which is please. You know, 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:57.840 Rassam and I come from immigrant background, so we for 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:00.800 us field day is like an American tradition that we 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:04.400 uh discovered and didn't know about. And then all that 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:08.440 I don't even know what is see, but the point 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.960 is then you're like, so it was fueled. This is 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:12.640 like when I didn't know what lacrosse was and then 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:14.840 someone was and I was like, look at this crazy 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:16.840 pole this guy is holding. And then someone was like, 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:20.560 you need to get your story. 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.360 You have too many contradictions. Ross, I'm already I'm a 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:24.320 man of contradiction. 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:28.960 That's true. Actually, I've noticed this lyrically in the album. 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.400 It's very dialectical. It's very like, well I believe this 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.880 thing except for the days I don't awesible. 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:37.720 Okay, time for. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.919 This was the intro we actually started because I said 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.920 podcast arts. Now once it's said, it can't be un said. Interesting, 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:48.880 So now the podcast has begun. But don't worry. You 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:52.480 did skip the intro, which is mostly good because all 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:54.720 was going to be was me going, so, George, how 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:55.880 does it feel to be an Ellen? 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:56.240 Yeah? 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:57.720 And then I would have said, oh, I'm staying in 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:00.800 a hotel where it was falsely advertise just having a pool, 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:02.600 but it turns out the pool is one foot long 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:04.720 and is purely decorative and it's just there for when 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:05.360 you have breakfast. 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:06.880 And then I would have said, well, it was still 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:08.799 very nice and actually remind me of Zipalite. 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:11.519 Yes, it sort of is like if you copied and 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.680 paste at a seaside hotel, but in literally Ti town in 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:15.480 Los Angeles. 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:16.600 Okay, so it. 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.440 Sort of feels like being on a movie set. So 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.160 you're getting the Phi Los Angeles experience. 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:21.720 Yeah, the smoking mirrors are right there. 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:29.400 First rule of Zipalites you can't talk about. 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:28.720 You should tell that to every gig guy I know, 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:30.400 because that's all they do is. 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:32.720 Talk about it. Well, never forget when the big New 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:36.200 York Times article came out that was like we found 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:39.320 it the best place on Earth, and then everyone was like, 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:41.800 this has to stop. I can't believe they did this. 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:43.400 But then I read that article and I was like, 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:44.920 oh my god, I gotta get down there. 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:48.360 So I did a trip with a handful of friends 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:53.360 December twenty nineteen. This is just before the pandemic. 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:54.000 And you brought COVID back. 0:03:54.560 --> 0:04:00.560 No, we have a group chat that has survived since 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:04.640 this trip in twenty nineteen. Really, and it's interesting because, yeah, 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:07.560 there's there's like one couple that stayed together. There's one 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:11.360 couple that didn't stay together, but somehow, like the group 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:14.680 chat from Zippolite survives. 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:17.159 With the couple that didn't stay together. Both of the 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:19.880 members are on the group chat or one of the and. 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:21.640 Are active on the group chat. 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:24.800 Yes, then they they actually live together in Spain now, 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:26.440 even though they're not together anymore. 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.440 Oh are they lesbians? 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:35.680 They are gay men, Okay, but they have ABI, they 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:39.719 have sensibility. Yeah maybe yeah, Well, gay. 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:43.080 Men with lesbian sensibilities could save the world if given 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:47.560 the opportunity. Well, journaling sometimes that I am. 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:50.479 I have a friend who told me is she collects 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:52.600 straight men with lesbian sensibilities? 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:53.520 Really interesting? 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:56.200 Is this friend a straight woman or a lesbian? 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.560 No, she's definitely on the pan spectrum. 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:03.000 No, there's only two options. She's on the pan spectrum. 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:07.560 Okay, definitely on the pan spectrum. And I really think 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.359 she's right, Like I also know these guys, and like 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:15.440 she does find these men with a lesbian vibe. They're 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:19.000 like mellow straight guys, which exists. Yes, it's like a flavor. 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:21.880 They're actually kind of wonderful to be around. 0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:24.760 Yeah, that's all I know. Like sometimes when I meet 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:27.440 like a real asshole straight guy, I'm like, now, finally 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:28.760 I know this is what I've heard of. 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:31.120 Interesting, I don't know. 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:31.880 They don't come to me. 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:34.440 No, it's very rare that I meet them, And it's 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:37.599 usually like the husbands of girl. 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:38.080 It's like. 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:41.080 You'll go to a wedding and you're like, oh, I 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:43.359 didn't know that all of you girls like go home 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:45.360 and have to deal with like the worst man I've 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.800 ever met, Like I should have had more empathy for 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.039 you all along, Like so your day to day life, 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:51.839 you like didn't know that there was another option. You 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:53.200 haven't met the lesbian straight guys. 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:57.000 Yeah, they're rare. They're rare that they are. 0:05:57.560 --> 0:05:59.599 I don't know that much about Pokemon, but I feel 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:01.200 like they're the rarest spoken. 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.320 Okay, here's an idea for your friend who's on the 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:07.200 pan spectrum and collects lesbian straight eyes. She should, sorry, 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:10.479 but become like a madam for these lesbian straight eyes 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:17.440 and sort of like a service where. 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:18.839 They don't need to Like, they're very desirable, right for 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:23.479 the straight women they want to find a lesbian straight 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:25.640 because like that's like the dream. 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:27.159 Definitely the dream, But. 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:30.680 I don't need those lesbian stream guys. They're they're doing great. 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.159 They are Okay, they're desirable because you know, I could see. 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:38.040 It going either way. Some women sorry to be like this. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:40.800 Some women say they want a lesbian straight eye and 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:44.599 then keep dating sort of horrible straight eyes. Have you 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:45.160 noticed this? 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:46.800 Have you picked up on this trend? 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:50.640 I think that it's I see that it's quite I 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:54.840 have a few female friends who are dating, and it's 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:55.599 it's hard. 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:59.080 It's the hardest thing you could possibly do, seems to 0:06:59.080 --> 0:06:59.919 be a straight woman. 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:02.919 Data, yes, yeah, and it seems like when you cross 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:07.440 the forty threshold, whereas in gay world, like it's I 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.760 don't know, I don't feel like there's a big change. 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:11.760 Time moves a little bit different. 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:13.920 Yeah, but I think in this straight world maybe it 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:14.800 gets a lot. 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:18.880 Harder completely, to the point where I actually think there 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:21.560 should be awards, like it's so hard dating as a 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.480 straight woman that they should have like yearly award shows 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:27.120 for it, lists of the women that are doing it 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.160 the best. You know, maybe in like the pages of 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:32.400 Vulture in New York magazine or something. There should be 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:37.119 influencers that are just like, I'm a woman. That's enough 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:38.040 and I am dating. 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.680 I will say there's a point against the lesbian straight guy. 0:07:40.800 --> 0:07:41.040 Huh. 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:43.240 It's sometimes you'll see a lesbian straight guy in a 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.680 straight relationship and they'll be together for so long and 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:48.320 you're like, you guys should have broken up like on 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:50.520 a hundred years ago. But because you're a lesbian straight 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:52.480 guy and you guys are essentially in like a lesbian relationship, 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:53.880 you just like put up with each other now. 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:56.880 Well but okay, but to be fair, how many gay 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.200 couples do we know where they're like in a relationship. 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:05.920 It's like a love It's crazy, Like it's like, wait, 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:09.760 what what are they doing? Together. Yeah, we have what 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:11.640 is their version of partnership, but. 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:15.760 Completely it is. Remember Tory Peters, have you ever read 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:18.240 the author? Tory Peters wrote de Transition Baby. 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:20.640 I haven't read that, but I'm curious. 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:22.840 It's it's very good and she's very smart. But when 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:24.680 she was on the podcast, she was saying she had 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:29.000 this theory that marriage, what was it, divorces lesbian? 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:31.800 It was like the longer, the divorces, the queerer. 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:34.000 Yes, but then she was saying, like divorces lesbian, but 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:36.240 staying together forever and hating each other is gay. 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:36.400 Guy. 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:41.120 Like because it is just like and actually this goes 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:46.400 into the monogamy, the monogamy topic, which is like, when 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:49.240 you take monogamy off the table, then you never know 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:53.280 when you're unhappy if you're in a monogamous relationship. 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:55.280 You know, I think a lot of people I don't 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.920 think that's true. I think I would disagree with you 0:08:59.000 --> 0:08:59.720 in full force. 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:06.480 Okay, Oh wow, is the most tender, full force disagreement 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:07.280 I've ever expected. 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:10.400 Because there are some people who say that there's like 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:12.959 something called secure attachment, which it takes a couple of 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:17.280 years to achieve, and actually there's there's like monogamous couples 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.839 who don't have secure attachment. I think that's what we're 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:23.320 talking about, kind of without talking about it. It's like 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:26.160 this couple that they're like very loyal to each other, 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:29.120 but hate each other. They're not good at communicating, the 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:33.120 upset each other constantly. And we see it with gay 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:36.560 monogamous couples, and we see it with straight monogamous couples, 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:40.880 and then we also those couples do exist that are 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:44.720 open and they love each other, and it doesn't like 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:48.520 the open relationship is not the component. It's not like 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:51.560 the whole relationship isn't about being open, which I think 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:56.760 a lot of people, especially like straight people are there. 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.760 It's hard for them to conceive of a relationship that's open, 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:04.240 that is not like every flavor on your tongue at 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:09.000 every moment. It's like, oh, you get breakfast, lunch, and 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:12.559 dinner that isn't you know, I don't know where I'm 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:13.240 going quite with this. 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:18.760 I see what you're saying. Non monogamy is a huge 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:20.959 new trend they are reading about in the New York Times, 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:23.720 and it's like the decision is like do I do it? 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:27.000 Do I buy the gear to go skiing do I 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.280 participate in this thing? And once I participate, there's no 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:32.280 going back, And I now identify as polyamorous or something. 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:35.640 Well, and also I think as a gay person, you 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:38.680 suddenly find yourself in this position where it's almost like 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:42.520 you're asked to. You're being told that you are promoting 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:50.760 a lifestyle just because you and you don't necessarily believe 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:55.720 in Like it seems like it's a binary right, Like 0:10:56.280 --> 0:11:02.559 you're either a strict monogamist or you're interested in polyamory, 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:04.840 which means that not only do you have love inside 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.920 your relationship, but you're interested in love outside the relationship 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.520 and there's nothing in between that. Like, so I I 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:15.400 sometimes ask my like straight friends when if the topic 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:18.160 comes up, like are you okay with your partner hugging 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:19.120 another person? 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:20.280 Well? 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:21.199 This is how does that go? 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:24.520 And then and then it then then I escalate like 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:26.960 are you okay with your partner kissing another person on 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:29.040 the cheek? What about the mouth? 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:31.720 Like you're getting hard? 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:35.800 While like because there I feel like it was like 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:38.040 Mike Pence actually who said something along the one you. 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:40.760 Can't be in the same candy alone with another woman. 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.240 Yes, So that's like do you believe that, Like, do 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.719 you believe that men and women shouldn't have conversations if 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:49.119 they're both in marriages. 0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:53.080 Well, I do think for a men specifically, it is 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:58.320 confusing to be monogamous is such a choice because if 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:00.680 you go to a bar, there's a dark from over there, 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:02.839 Like you're like, there is sex happening. Like if a 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:04.440 straight person was there, they would be like I went 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.959 to an orgy, I'm lock me up and throw away 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:09.120 the key. But like a gay person, you're like, well, no, 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:11.080 this is like a social gathering that sex is a 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:12.160 part of there. 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:14.240 Yeah, a gay person's like this is dinner. 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:18.120 And so it's like you can be even but it 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:19.959 is like drawing the line almost. 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:23.320 Feels like there's a generational thing there, and there's like 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:25.520 a generation. There's like people who are just like maybe 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:27.400 just five years older. I was born in eighty three. 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:29.760 I don't know about what you guys were born. 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:34.920 Eighty nine, two thousand and five, But I think. 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:38.720 There is a generation. It's they're not that much older 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.800 than us. But for them, I think like monogamy is 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:47.600 like this it is still like a component of their 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:50.079 gay life. Do you think it's just like a more 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.000 normalized component of their gay life. 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:58.040 We need to talk about the internet. Oh okay, it's 0:12:58.080 --> 0:12:59.800 funny that you brought this up today, because this is 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:01.559 something I've been wanting to talk about, which is that 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:05.680 the internet currently is like this is a trend of 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.160 clip that goes viral. Is someone talking about well, gay 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:12.040 guys are always non monogamous, Yeah, and then it's flooded 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:16.520 with comments from seemingly gay guys potentially bots. I don't know, but. 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:17.720 They're like, gay guys can be bots too. 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:20.560 Gay guys can be bots, but many are many Like 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:23.600 you're saying something else, but good, So gay guys in 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.440 theory being like yeah, right, come down to Dallas and 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:29.680 see non monogamy. Everyone here is closed or like oh, 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:33.400 these gay guys think they have to be open. That's there, brainwashed. 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.719 You can be closed. That backstraight. We asked Rostum, what 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:39.439 is your straight topic? And Rossam's like, what if it's monogamy? 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:41.240 And we were like, you can do that, but you 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:47.800 might walk away dead or otherwise just figured. And it's 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.960 one of those things monogamy versus non monogamy that your 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:52.880 views on it just have to do with your immediate 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:56.000 surroundings and the people you surround yourself with obviously, So 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:59.760 it's like imagine being someone who has never contemplated it 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.319 and life, and you're like on Instagram and you're scrolling 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.600 and then suddenly it's a clip of me. It's some 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.920 sort of like disgusting gay guy that's by coastal and 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:09.960 and he's talking about how like all the gay guys 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:12.160 he knows are nominogamous. And then you're literally like, well, 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:15.760 this completely tears into my entire worldview. That's not what's 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:20.320 happening in my immediate community of kind of quasi suburban Dallas. 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:23.280 Sure keeping of Dallas, because I do feel like the 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:26.280 comments on your clip in particular, where a lot of 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:28.680 like come on down south and see the larges thing. 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:32.560 You get it from all sides, which is there's there's 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:35.080 gay guys doing the whole like you give gay people 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.240 a bad name because you're like a Horrish, you know, 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:40.520 circuit gay and I'm just trying to live a normal 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.760 life and be accepted by the Republican Party and how 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.440 dare you give our community a bad name? There's that, 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:50.000 then there is and I'm not exaggerating because I didn't 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:53.560 think this still existed fully, people just commenting aids, aids. 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:55.160 That's why they get AIDS. That's why they get AIDS. 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:58.280 We're gonna get a's just fully, people that have never 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:02.840 met a gay person or just are fully like old 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:03.960 fashioned homophobic. 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:05.560 It's still out there. 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:08.040 It's still out there. And then wait, what else? 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:10.120 Well, yeah, I mean, I think a lot of people 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:13.880 don't understand that, like prep is effected. 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:16.960 But I think you're already way ahead of. 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.720 I would not understand like people who are HIV positive 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:23.560 who take their medicine every day. 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:30.520 And I'm with you, but imagine that someone saying, But 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:31.200 I think that the. 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:32.880 Point I was trying to make about the Mike Pence 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:36.320 stuff is like, if you don't agree with Mike Pence, 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:40.680 then you actually are on some part of the spectrum 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:45.040 of believing of non monogamy, in non mignogamy, because your 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:49.240 version of how men and women should interact or how 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:53.680 humans should interact in the real world disagrees with his 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:59.360 hyper extreme version of it. So like, I think I 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.080 think we got to like slowly open the door to 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:07.960 people seeing that their own views like are actually somewhere 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.560 on a spectrum that's maybe different than what they think. 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.440 That's a really good point. And I think asking doing 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:15.960 what you're saying, which is going step by step and 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:17.680 being like kiss on the mouth, what if it's an 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:19.360 accidental kiss on the mouth, What if it's a kiss 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:23.280 on the mouth, wild drunk? What if it's a kiss 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:26.120 on the mouth. As a dare like which where what 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.480 is the limit? Then you are right that it then 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:32.280 reframes the conversation as a spectrum rather than black and white. 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:36.960 I'm either step third wife or going to key parties 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:37.880 and getting dped. 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:43.160 Yes, exactly. So I also want to add to this, 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:48.480 like I hate the idea that that you you become 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:54.320 this like proponent of I don't need anyone to I 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:57.680 don't want I don't want people to change their their life. 0:16:58.080 --> 0:16:59.920 I want them to live the life that they want, 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.240 but I also want them to just have perspective on 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:04.440 what that life is. And that's why I think that 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:07.240 Mike Penston I keep coming back to. But it's just like, yeah, 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.879 you're like you believe in playing twister with your straight 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:11.919 friends or. 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:16.560 All monogaos people I know are playing twister with anything. 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:19.600 That's like sort of in straight conservative the conservative backlash, 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:22.200 we're sort of in even like, what's your body count Well, 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:25.560 as a gay guy, that's like impossible, because like what counts. 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.720 Even frankly of the concept of losing your virginity? 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.400 Well literally, I'm like, well that's that. 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:36.560 Doesn't count if if you're not a conservative Christian that 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:40.240 believes in the virgin Mary. 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:44.639 Yeah, so when did you lose your virginity? So you 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:47.480 have a new album out called American Stories. 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:51.440 We are addressed like the American flag honor of that. 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:55.040 Yeah, would you say it's your Joe Anne? 0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:01.880 No? Wow, No I wouldn't. 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:06.280 But did you contemplate a cowboy hat on the cover? 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:08.040 You know? Just tell me about that. 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:11.680 I did have There was a photo that I took 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.280 where I was playing like an acoustic guitar and it 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:17.200 was like kind of covering my body, but I was shirtless, 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.080 and that was that was in consideration. I did a 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:23.520 bunch of different photoshoots. I thought about having a photo 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.240 on the album cover, and sometimes I think maybe I'll 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:29.679 do like a deluxe where I do use a photo 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:36.959 just full frontal. But but yeah, like hmm, yeah, I 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:40.960 wasn't going for like necessarily, I wasn't trying to hit 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:46.720 it too hard in terms of like the just apropos 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.399 of us wearing red, white and blue. By accident, I 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:51.919 did take some photos of me in front of just 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:54.679 a regular red, white and blue flag and when and 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:58.440 they looked great. The photos were great, and I was like, wait, 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:03.359 there's something about this doesn't feel like me. It feels 0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:07.200 like it feels like a costume or something like. These 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.879 colors aren't really the colors that I want to see, 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:12.639 And so I had to make some change. 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:15.320 Yeah, American imagery is tough. 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:17.639 That's the thing. It's you gave yourself such a huge 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:20.359 challenge to be Like the palette I'm working with. Is 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:24.439 the American flag the most referenced symbol in the history 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:25.320 of the country. 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:25.800 Yeah. 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:28.639 And I actually, in the lead up to announcing my 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:32.320 album and my album cover, I posted like just like 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:35.280 a collection of flags that I found on the internet, 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:39.800 and I realized, like, the American flag, it's this thing. 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.440 What other flag can you think of that has been 0:19:42.480 --> 0:19:47.239 manipulated in so much and like changed and sort of 0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:50.640 like made to represent different things. 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:53.199 The only one I can think of is how the 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:57.320 Pride flag they keep adding kinks? Would you keep adding 0:19:57.320 --> 0:20:00.919 little circles? More about that, the new versions of the 0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:01.480 Pride flag. 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:02.160 No, I haven't. 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:03.840 We are going to get in trouble for this as well, 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:05.240 but they do keep adding stuff. 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:07.840 Well, No, to be clear, they're getting it from all sides. 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:12.119 I want to make one thing perfectly clear. They added 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:15.000 a two lines that were meant to represent racial justice, 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:18.160 which I am one for. Then they added a more 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:21.760