Speaker 1: Hello, it is me. It is Lyle. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Therapy Gecko podcast. I don't normally record intros for these
Speaker 1: because the calls just kind of speak for themselves, but
Speaker 1: I don't know, I felt like doing it today. I
Speaker 1: felt like addressing the people who listen to this show.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just wanted to say thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for listening to this show. It's this summer,
Speaker 1: it'll be five years of being the Therapy Gecko, and
Speaker 1: it's been a really wild ride. It's had a lot
Speaker 1: of ups and downs for me, you know, personally, and
Speaker 1: it's just so cool that this is, that this has
Speaker 1: lasted this long, and that I've gotten to do this.
Speaker 1: And so I just I maybe wanted a public record
Speaker 1: of myself so that I can know when I'm fifty
Speaker 1: whatever years old, that in the moment that I was
Speaker 1: doing this, I recognized how cool it was. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just wanted to do that. And
Speaker 1: today I am ready to talk to people on the phone.
Speaker 1: I am currently recording this in my mom's basement, where
Speaker 1: the whole thing started five years ago. I am home
Speaker 1: for the Jewish holiday of Passover, so I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: eating Matza and saying saying stuff. I'm into my mom's
Speaker 1: basement and I'm ready to take phone calls like it's
Speaker 1: twenty twenty again, except with all the bad twenty twenty stuff.
Speaker 1: So let's do it. Therapy GEcho Podcast Today. Hello, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's up man? What's your name?
Speaker 2: My name's Cody, Cody.
Speaker 1: What's happening Cody? What's life looking like for you? Today?
Speaker 2: Life's been going great, man. I graduated school, I'm going
Speaker 2: to become an EMT next week. Getting engaged. I got engaged.
Speaker 2: I'm getting married September. I what else is now? Got
Speaker 2: a house, watching love on the spectrum. Everything's going great, man.
Speaker 1: That's a wonderful goddamn. Yeah, you sound like life is
Speaker 1: going good. I talk a lot about real jobs on
Speaker 1: this podcast. EMT is such a super real job. It's
Speaker 1: like such a necessary thing. Although are you Are you worried?
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I don't know why. I'm going
Speaker 1: to the negative here, but are you worried about seeing
Speaker 1: fucked up shit as an EMT?
Speaker 2: So so somewhat. I mean, I guess I'll cross that
Speaker 2: bridge when I get to it. But I had bride alongs.
Speaker 2: I had four ride alongs, and both honestly weren't that bad.
Speaker 2: I saw her shooting. I well, I didn't see him
Speaker 2: get sat but he got shot in the leg. Somebody
Speaker 2: got like cut up in his stomach. But other than that,
Speaker 2: I mean I reacted signed to that. I do have
Speaker 2: a funny story though. So I was nervous on my
Speaker 2: first ride along and they were like, oh, give her
Speaker 2: some aspirin and I was like, okay, cool. So I
Speaker 2: had like four like little little pills of aspirin and
Speaker 2: she had a free hand and I don't I don't
Speaker 2: know why I did this, but I won by one
Speaker 2: just kind of popped the pills in her mouth. I
Speaker 2: was like one and two and three, and uh just
Speaker 2: I was like that was weird. I did it in
Speaker 2: front of like four paramedics and they just all just
Speaker 2: I popped up and they all looked at me, and
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, that was something weird I did.
Speaker 2: They didn't, they didn't call me on it.
Speaker 1: Just counting the pills while you were popping them in
Speaker 1: her mouth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. And then I looked at her and I
Speaker 2: was like, I guess swallow no, please.
Speaker 1: I guess that's not that weird, right, I mean, someone's
Speaker 1: got to keep track of how many pills we're going
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean I could have handed it to
Speaker 2: her in her.
Speaker 1: Hand, oh, instead of pop popping it in her mouth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a little odd.
Speaker 1: How old.
Speaker 2: She was, like sixty sixty? Oh?
Speaker 1: Okay, all right? You know, madam, maybe maybe maybe maybe
Speaker 1: she maybe was helpful. I don't know, maybe it made
Speaker 1: her feel so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, was it something you wanted to talk specifically about?
Speaker 2: I sent a few texts over Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sure, man. Let's see, well you sent me a couple
Speaker 1: of things. I think you sent me something about how
Speaker 1: you moved in with this lady after two months of
Speaker 1: knowing her, and now you guys are engaged. That's uh.
Speaker 1: I want to hear your story. You sound like you
Speaker 1: have like a pretty cool, stable, good life. You seem
Speaker 1: like a good member of society, and I want to
Speaker 1: hear your tale.
Speaker 2: I'd try to be so. Yeah. We met off tender
Speaker 2: of all places. So whoever says you can't find love's
Speaker 2: off timber. You just got to look hard. But we
Speaker 2: my lease was coming up, and we were just riding
Speaker 2: around in the car. About a month into knowing each other.
Speaker 2: We barely even said hey, we're boyfriend and girlfriend. And
Speaker 2: I don't even think we said that we were boyfriend
Speaker 2: and girlfriend and we uh. She was just like, hey,
Speaker 2: your least is coming up. I kind of want to
Speaker 2: move out of my parents. How how about we move
Speaker 2: into a two bedroom apartment house type deal. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: that sounds that sounds pretty sick, man. And ever since that,
Speaker 2: it's just been been pretty good. We uh, it's been amazing. Actually,
Speaker 2: we got we got three cats, two ferrets. Then I
Speaker 2: within like four months after that, I I bought an
Speaker 2: engagement ring and re enacted like our first date. Our
Speaker 2: first date was an escape room and we did not
Speaker 2: pass it. So I I hid the ring in like
Speaker 2: the end of the escape room, and I made sure
Speaker 2: that we would actually pass it this time. I ran
Speaker 2: through the whole escape room with the escape room people
Speaker 2: and popped the question there. And ever since then, it's
Speaker 2: just been it's been going great. We we got invitations, ready,
Speaker 2: we got we got a whole we got a whole
Speaker 2: little life here. And ever so, I don't think we
Speaker 2: ever had like one fight. We haven't even had a
Speaker 2: fight yet. We're going on two years.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's awesome. How soon? How long? Ago was this
Speaker 1: like like moving into getting engaged. How long was that?
Speaker 2: About four months? Five months or so? Actually my anniversary
Speaker 2: present for her was to go see you.
Speaker 1: Oh there's no ship really yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was in it was in Charlotte.
Speaker 1: Oh which was it? Twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2: The one that just happened.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool before I think cool? Helly did? Did did
Speaker 1: she have fun?
Speaker 2: You had a great time? Yeah? Yeah. I tried to
Speaker 2: get her to send a message, but see uh yeah
Speaker 2: see the little stage fright. I wanted to definitely go
Speaker 2: on stage. But it was an interesting show. I had
Speaker 2: a good time there.
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: Especially the second guy that popped up there.
Speaker 1: Oh god, who was who was the second guy?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Was this the guy who talked about like how slavery
Speaker 1: is good?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then he got into a fight with somebody
Speaker 2: across the stadium and was just like, uh something about
Speaker 2: like I'm not on drugs, and he was clearly like
Speaker 2: his friends were holding him back. Yeah I don't, ye.
Speaker 1: Know, no yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah no. You know,
Speaker 1: look that's at the therapy Gecko. Live shows characters do
Speaker 1: make make appearances, you know, that's I guess that's part
Speaker 1: of the it's part of the shindig. But no, that's
Speaker 1: fucking that's fucking sweet man, that's fucking sweet. Well, that's awesome.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. I always feel like I learn a lot
Speaker 1: about love through this uh podcast, because there's a lot
Speaker 1: of different stories and a lot of different timelines that
Speaker 1: people have with each other. How old are you, guys?
Speaker 2: Uh? She just had a birthday yesterday. She's twenty three.
Speaker 2: I'm twenty two.
Speaker 1: Well, fuck, you guys are young.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we moved in and we were like twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, everything's going good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everything's going good. Honestly, Without her, I don't know
Speaker 2: if my relationship with my mom would be as good
Speaker 2: as it is. I I have a lot of so
Speaker 2: I don't know how deep I should get into that.
Speaker 2: But she, uh, my mom came down because I lived
Speaker 2: states away and my mom came down to come see me,
Speaker 2: and she I wanted to bring my fiance with me,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I really, I would really appreciate
Speaker 2: it if you come see me. She took if you
Speaker 2: came with me to come see her. She took off
Speaker 2: a couple of days of work, so that I wouldn't
Speaker 2: be alone because I have I haven't seen my mom
Speaker 2: in like eight years, and I only talked to her
Speaker 2: like a year before that, So it was, I will
Speaker 2: I owe a lot to her. She's she's an amazing person.
Speaker 2: But you know, I got a a younger brother and
Speaker 2: a younger sister, so I I definitely owe a lot
Speaker 2: to uh my fiance.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. How was it reconnecting with your mom?
Speaker 2: So honestly, it was, I was. I was oddly calm
Speaker 2: up into because we planned to come see each other. Ah,
Speaker 2: like a month before. She was like, oh, I'm going
Speaker 2: to Is that okay if I come see you? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, of course, of course. So I was
Speaker 2: oddly calmed the whole way. And then like immediately when
Speaker 2: I was there, it was like I felt my hands shaking.
Speaker 2: It was. It was definitely weird. Definitely had some uh
Speaker 2: some emotions turning. That was it was. It was definitely
Speaker 2: a little hard because we didn't end on on very
Speaker 2: good terms and we're working on it. It's kind of
Speaker 2: like getting to know your parents. It's getting it's like
Speaker 2: getting to know a stranger, which is weird, right because
Speaker 2: I haven't seen her since I was like sixteen, and
Speaker 2: then she just drops that I have a whole sibling
Speaker 2: and the whole she has a whole life, and she
Speaker 2: she's like talking about stuff that I knew back when
Speaker 2: I was like sixteen, Like she's like, oh, do you
Speaker 2: still like The Walking Dead? And I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: really no, because I haven't. I haven't seen that selling years.
Speaker 2: So right, it's it's it's a little hard, but it's, uh,
Speaker 2: we're we're we're getting there. We're getting to uh as
Speaker 2: long as she supports me. She actually just sent my
Speaker 2: financial cupcakes for her.
Speaker 1: Birthday, so that's nice. So did you just have the
Speaker 1: one kind of meeting with her or have you been
Speaker 1: recurringly seeing her.
Speaker 2: I will be seeing her on my wedding, and I'm
Speaker 2: nervous about that because she doesn't really get along with
Speaker 2: my dad. So it's, uh, it's it's definitely hard because
Speaker 2: I I don't know how to bring it up to
Speaker 2: my dad, and I think a part of me is
Speaker 2: nervous that my dad would be almost upset that I
Speaker 2: know her again.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know if that makes sense.
Speaker 3: I'm still I'm close.
Speaker 2: I'm still close with my dad. But I I noticed
Speaker 2: me getting very sometimes I want to impress him too much,
Speaker 2: But I just don't know how to bring it up
Speaker 2: to my dad that hey, the your ex wife is
Speaker 2: going to be there that you thought I didn't talk to.
Speaker 2: So I just I need to figure out how to
Speaker 2: bring that up as well.
Speaker 1: So are you are you looking forward to having your
Speaker 1: mom at your wedding?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's going to be She's going to be
Speaker 2: super proud. I'm looking forward to both of them being there.
Speaker 2: I just and I don't think anything will happen. I
Speaker 2: just I'm not entirely sure why I'm nervous, except like,
Speaker 2: I don't think any drama is going to pop off.
Speaker 2: I don't think any uh. I don't think anybody is
Speaker 2: gonna get into a fight or to talk to each other.
Speaker 3: I just.
Speaker 2: I want I want everybody to be as comfortable as
Speaker 2: they can. And I don't know, I don't know, I
Speaker 2: don't know. It's just it's it's weird too explain, because yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's hard. But I'm definitely looking forward to all
Speaker 2: all people being there.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Do you uh you know, by the way,
Speaker 1: you can get as deep or not deep into this
Speaker 1: as you uh want to you know, we can talk
Speaker 1: about any number of things, but you know, is there
Speaker 1: is there is there a reason why you stopped talking
Speaker 1: to her like eight years ago.
Speaker 2: She she said that she didn't want to talk to
Speaker 2: me basically, see that there was a really messy, uh
Speaker 2: divorce with my dad and really the whole family. But uh, yeah,
Speaker 2: it was just it was just really it was just
Speaker 2: really messy. She just I just you just said she
Speaker 2: didn't really want to talk to me, so I just.
Speaker 4: I let it be.
Speaker 2: And then she said she wanted to but I was
Speaker 2: I was too hurt to obviously say, hey, yeah that
Speaker 2: that that stuff never happened, what happened, what what you
Speaker 2: said before never happened? You know, mm hmmm mm hm.
Speaker 2: But I mean, I'm I'm working past it. She's she's
Speaker 2: genuinely working, she's genuinely trying, and she's one hundred and
Speaker 2: ten percent like she was already a good mom, and
Speaker 2: I think that just she had she had a lot
Speaker 2: of stuff on her plate. And I'm not taking anything
Speaker 2: personally from what she said. It did well what anybody
Speaker 2: said or did, But.
Speaker 1: What is uh, what's the deal with your You said
Speaker 1: you have a lot of siblings. What is their deal
Speaker 1: are they? Are they cool with your mom?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, so my my younger brother, he uh, he
Speaker 2: saw her for the first time with me too. I
Speaker 2: was like, hey, in I went and I went to
Speaker 2: go see her, but I am and if you don't
Speaker 2: want to go see her, because he was down here
Speaker 2: for a couple of days, I was like, hey, man,
Speaker 2: I want to go see her. If you don't want to,
Speaker 2: it's totally okay, but I'll be right there with you.
Speaker 2: And he I only have like the one biological sibling.
Speaker 2: But yeah, he's he's working his way there. He's he's
Speaker 2: not as far as me because I don't I I
Speaker 2: don't know if he can. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 2: know what the right word is. But he's not as
Speaker 2: I guess he's just not as as far as me
Speaker 2: as like and like forgiving or understanding. But he might
Speaker 2: be who knows. He's he's a he's a hard book
Speaker 2: to read sometimes, but yeah, he uh, he's he's becoming
Speaker 2: cool with her too. Really likes my uh, my younger sibling.
Speaker 2: We went had a good time there.
Speaker 1: But and so this is this is a half sibling,
Speaker 1: like your mom went and had someone else.
Speaker 2: Well she adopted.
Speaker 1: Okay, is your mom is around with someone new?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, do you like him? And do you
Speaker 1: like uh their adopted kid? Like have you have you
Speaker 1: chilled with them?
Speaker 2: Adopted to kid?
Speaker 5: Was?
Speaker 2: It was pretty cool? He was He was a handful,
Speaker 2: He was very active. He was like I think like four.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah he was.
Speaker 2: He was crazy, but yeah, he he was. He was
Speaker 2: a fun time and her boyfriend or husband. He's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: I think he was just nervous to meet me the
Speaker 2: first time because he was a he was a chatter.
Speaker 2: He would you really like to talk? But I was like,
Speaker 2: at some point I was just like, okay, man, and
Speaker 2: I'd like to speak to to.
Speaker 3: My mother, but yeah, he's not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's like you already don't really like
Speaker 1: if you if your mom already feels like a stranger,
Speaker 1: your mom's new boyfriend is going to feel like you know,
Speaker 1: why do I give a fuck about talking to this guy?
Speaker 2: Right? No? No, he was. He was cool.
Speaker 4: He was a cool guy.
Speaker 2: But at some point I was just like, Okay, okay, you're.
Speaker 1: Not You're not the main events at this table.
Speaker 2: Right No. I think he just wanted to like impress
Speaker 2: us or whatever.
Speaker 1: Sure it was yeah, which I guess is it's nice
Speaker 1: that they it's nice that they they as a couple
Speaker 1: want you guys, you know, in in their life, they
Speaker 1: want you to like them. I guess it's nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'd rather he do that than just sit in
Speaker 2: the corner on his phone.
Speaker 1: Or sure yeah, yeah, I can fuck some else. Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: you know that's uh. Yeah, I gotta say, you're on
Speaker 1: You're twenty three, twenty twenty two. You're so god. I
Speaker 1: don't know how this feels for you to hear, but
Speaker 1: you're just you're dealing with so much like you know,
Speaker 1: I know, twenty two isn't fucking fourteen or whatever, but
Speaker 1: you're you're dealing with so much adults shit, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like you're there, you're the real adults
Speaker 1: in the room, like doingny MT shit, getting no fucking house,
Speaker 1: getting married, doing the whole like you're a real you're
Speaker 1: very grown up twenty two year old. You know, do
Speaker 1: you how does that like? How do yeah? How does
Speaker 1: that feel for you? Because I'm twenty seven, I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm I'm sixteen years old?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, yeah, I don't always feel like an adult.
Speaker 2: I kind of sometimes feel sometimes feel like I'm like
Speaker 2: behind it a little bit. But I think that's that's
Speaker 2: everybody because I got some point like I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I joined emt too late, because some people get into
Speaker 2: it when they're like eighteen nineteen. I saved up so
Speaker 2: I co go to school because I was living on
Speaker 2: my own. I'm like, oh, I'm a little bit behind
Speaker 2: on that, or like, oh, I'm buying fucking Pokemon cards
Speaker 2: when I'm twenty two years old. It's sometimes I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm behind, but then sometimes I feel like I'm
Speaker 2: a little bit ahead of the curves. But I appreciate
Speaker 2: you saying that.
Speaker 1: I trust me, there are many men in their thirties,
Speaker 1: forties and beyond who are who are also buying Pokemon cards.
Speaker 2: I know those scalpies are crazy nowadays.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I got I got a lot of uh,
Speaker 1: I got a lot of respect for you, brother, You're me,
Speaker 1: you know, because that's the thing is all this stuff
Speaker 1: is hard now. But I just have a feeling for
Speaker 1: you that, like, I don't know, you're gonna life's gonna
Speaker 1: continue to be good for you just because you're fucking
Speaker 1: you know, not insane.
Speaker 2: Not insane what I try to be.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Well, let's see, man, I know you
Speaker 1: texted me a bunch of other stuff. Maybe I could
Speaker 1: get into that. You said, Well, you just texted me
Speaker 1: saying I'm playing WE Sports right now. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you have anything to say about that. You texted
Speaker 1: me that over a year ago. I'm just looking at
Speaker 1: all now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I was. I remember that day. We
Speaker 2: already eating brownies and we were playing these sports. And
Speaker 2: then I was like, hey, man, Gek is Gek is
Speaker 2: streaming right now. I need to try to get on.
Speaker 2: But I know, I know what else to say. I
Speaker 2: was like, we sports man, what's your favorite sport?
Speaker 1: Uh? Probably uh bowling, because it is I think it
Speaker 1: is the easiest. It's probably the most stationary of all
Speaker 1: the WE sports.
Speaker 2: Bowling's good? Oh good? I like Uh. I like golf.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of stuff to do in golf. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I used to have the little uh plastic attachments that
Speaker 1: you put on the Wii for the WE Sports and
Speaker 1: you know, I used it once and then they went.
Speaker 1: Now they're in a in a landfill somewhere. What's your
Speaker 1: name again?
Speaker 2: My name is?
Speaker 1: My name is Cody, Cody, Cody, is is there anything
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the people of the
Speaker 1: computer before we go, or anything else you want to
Speaker 1: talk about?
Speaker 2: Not not too not too much? Man. H Yeah, you're invited.
Speaker 2: You're invited to the wedding.
Speaker 1: Where's the wedding.
Speaker 2: Where?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Uh? North Carolina?
Speaker 1: North Carolina? Oh Man? When is Yeah? Free pizza September September.
Speaker 1: If I I I truly hate making promises that I
Speaker 1: can't keep so about, I'll make you this. I'll make
Speaker 1: you this promise if for some reason I happen to
Speaker 1: be in Charlotte, for some other reason that the weekend
Speaker 1: that you're having your wedding, I'll have one hundred go.
Speaker 1: If I have some other reason that I am there,
Speaker 1: I'll go the wedding.
Speaker 2: We'd love to have you there. Free pizza and beer
Speaker 2: and wine for you.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right? Where's it from? Where you get
Speaker 1: it from?
Speaker 2: It's like this, like homemade pizza place, low Ki, It's
Speaker 2: like five minutes down the street somewhere.
Speaker 1: Are getting married, mazeletove to you, Cody. You got a
Speaker 1: good life, dot don't yeah?
Speaker 5: Be uh.
Speaker 1: I hope you're at peace. I hope you're at peace.
Speaker 1: You deserve some fun. You deserve some motherfucking piece. You
Speaker 1: got a peaceful life, my friend. I'll I'll talk to
Speaker 1: you again around the universe, dude.
Speaker 2: I'll see you man do some more stand up. I
Speaker 2: appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Okay, well wait you were oh wait just oh at
Speaker 1: the show. Yeah, I'm planning to do. I've been going
Speaker 1: to fucking open mics and stuff. That's been fun. All right,
Speaker 1: Take care man, you too.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 1: What a sweet fucking guy. This happens on the show
Speaker 1: all the time. Dude. I'll meet like a twenty one,
Speaker 1: twenty two year old, twenty year old calls in and
Speaker 1: they're just like their fucking whole all their shit is
Speaker 1: so is so uh to get there. You know, it's fascinating.
Speaker 1: It's fascinating because I'm always I don't know, I always
Speaker 1: bring it back to myself, but I'm like always on
Speaker 1: the I think I do it in my regular life,
Speaker 1: but I also do it on this show. Is like,
Speaker 1: you know, when you're I think on like a journey
Speaker 1: for peace or a journey for like the life. Life
Speaker 1: doesn't really come with a handbook or anything, so he
Speaker 1: just look at what other people do with their lives
Speaker 1: and you're like, did that Is that a way to
Speaker 1: get peace? You know? And I don't know. I liked
Speaker 1: I liked Cody a lot. He's you know, he had
Speaker 1: a job that means something. He seems to be in
Speaker 1: a nice relationship. You see. He seemed calm when I
Speaker 1: talked to him, And that's a difficult it's achieving piece,
Speaker 1: I think is difficult. So I'm happy for him. And
Speaker 1: if if I have some other I'm not. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna go to Charlotte just for his wedding. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go just for his wedding. But
Speaker 1: if I if, if I if there's two weddings going
Speaker 1: on in Charlotte, maybe I'll go. I need I need
Speaker 1: a If anyone has a second thing, it's really compelling
Speaker 1: for me to go to Charlotte in September, maybe I'll
Speaker 1: do it. I want to go back there for a
Speaker 1: live show. I love the comedy club there, the Charlotte
Speaker 1: Comedies on that place is awesome. I've had great, great
Speaker 1: fun shows there. But yeah, shout out Cody Mazeltov. Hello,
Speaker 1: how are you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? How are you? Can you hear me?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I can hear you. What's up man? What's your name?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 6: My name's crazy.
Speaker 1: Crazy. That's a good name. What's up, crazy? Why are
Speaker 1: you crazy?
Speaker 6: Oh? That that's a that's my artist name. Uh, it's
Speaker 6: my rap name. And uh it's just uh it's because
Speaker 6: I think that crazy it gets a bad rep.
Speaker 4: Like.
Speaker 6: Uh, so I'm trying to represent and uplift the name crazy.
Speaker 1: Hmm. Do you do you feel as though you are crazy?
Speaker 6: Oh? I mean people have called me crazy before, but
Speaker 6: I think that crazy is such a like it's such
Speaker 6: like a broad term. So yeah, I would categoryize myself
Speaker 6: as crazy, but I think that any like, I don't know.
Speaker 6: I've never really met somebody who I don't think is
Speaker 6: crazy unless they're like super boring.
Speaker 1: Bro, you and I are are built of the same Uh,
Speaker 1: we're cut from the same cloth. I was in a
Speaker 1: car with my best friend the other day and he
Speaker 1: was telling me about like, uh, he was like, you
Speaker 1: think everyone is crazy. You've gone on so many rants
Speaker 1: about how all things are crazy, all people are crazy.
Speaker 1: You talk about how you don't shut the fuck up,
Speaker 1: about how life is crazy, and it's it's true. I
Speaker 1: am so with you. I feel like I've found a
Speaker 1: kindred spirit in you crazy because I'm I'm with you.
Speaker 1: I think, uh, life is I try not to think.
Speaker 1: I'm trying not think about it less because I don't
Speaker 1: think it's fun to think about you know, as your
Speaker 1: default way of thinking. But yeah, life is crazy. Everybody
Speaker 1: is crazy, Consciousness is crazy, all people every Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: with you, I'm with you crazy, everything's crazy. Thank you, finally,
Speaker 1: finally a god. I am so happy and excited to
Speaker 1: talk to you crazy because for a while, for a
Speaker 1: for a while crazy. I'm telling you, Yeah, I thought
Speaker 1: I was crazy for thinking that everything was crazy. And
Speaker 1: here you are crazy and you're like, yeah, no, everything
Speaker 1: is crazy. You're I feel very validated by you crazy.
Speaker 1: So let's let's talk about things being crazy.
Speaker 6: Hey, let's let's do it.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I've been. I've been. I've been a fan
Speaker 6: of your your stumper like a little bit. Now. I
Speaker 6: just I just started watching it randomly. But I think
Speaker 6: it's cool.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 6: See people calling, Yeah, I mean I'm down. I'm definitely
Speaker 6: down to talk with you.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 6: Yeah, basically, I'm just I'm just calling because I've moved
Speaker 6: to La like about a year ago to pursue music.
Speaker 6: And I'm just kind of at like a like a
Speaker 6: turning point in my life because I've just messed up
Speaker 6: my leg, and uh so I can't work right now.
Speaker 6: And well, I mean I'm trying to get jobs where
Speaker 6: I can work with a mess up leg. But yeah, basically,
Speaker 6: like I'm like debating whether or not I should just
Speaker 6: like take out a bunch of student loans and live
Speaker 6: off those or or just like give up. I don't know,
Speaker 6: but I don't know. Yeah, that's or just try and
Speaker 6: make it happen some other way. I guess those are
Speaker 6: like my three options.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, I I I want let me let me
Speaker 1: backtrack here. Your three options recount them again? Is to
Speaker 1: take out student loans to go to a school, or
Speaker 1: to just take out long.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah yeah, to to go to school, go to
Speaker 6: school to do what? Audio production?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: What are the other ones?
Speaker 6: The other one is I give up and fly back home?
Speaker 1: Okay, live in Okay? Is living intent option three? Or
Speaker 1: if you went back home, you'd live in a Yeah,
Speaker 1: I live in Okay. Are Are you serious about living
Speaker 1: in a tent or do you have like family you
Speaker 1: could go back home with?
Speaker 6: Well, I'm serious about living a tent because like, if
Speaker 6: I went back home, I'd be living in a tent
Speaker 6: on my my dad's er.
Speaker 1: Your dad would let you live. Your dad would let
Speaker 1: you live in the in like the house part of
Speaker 1: the property.
Speaker 6: He doesn't, he doesn't have a house. He just has lands.
Speaker 1: Where does he live?
Speaker 6: Uh, he lives with a roommate right now, But he's
Speaker 6: trying to he's trying to make it happen in like
Speaker 6: a van and build back a shack up there.
Speaker 1: All right, cool? All right, so you would live in
Speaker 1: a tent, and then what's option three?
Speaker 6: Option three is just try and just try and hope
Speaker 6: for the best with what I'm already doing, just trying
Speaker 6: to like make money do jobs. And then like I
Speaker 6: started a studio at my house is called a fuck
Speaker 6: around and find out studio. And I'm only charging people
Speaker 6: twenty five an hour to record songs. And I've been
Speaker 6: doing this for like ten years recording, so I'm like
Speaker 6: confident in my skills as like a recording engineer, but
Speaker 6: I still need to work on mixing and mastering. That's
Speaker 6: why I want to go to school for audio profession.
Speaker 1: Oh kah, So you've been doing this for ten years
Speaker 1: in this, and where where is home for you? Like
Speaker 1: what state?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 2: Hawaii?
Speaker 1: Hawaii? Oh cool? Okay, And so you have like the
Speaker 1: past ten years, have you been in LA or have
Speaker 1: you been in Hawaii? Because you still me just moved
Speaker 1: right yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: So so I just got here to LA on April
Speaker 6: fool Day last year, well technically April second, but my
Speaker 6: I moved into my new spot. Yeah, it was like, yeah,
Speaker 6: it's basically been April second because I missed the greyhound
Speaker 6: I caught like a greyhound from Seattle because me and
Speaker 6: my friends moved from Seattle. I only lived in Seattle
Speaker 6: for like four months ago.
Speaker 1: So when you say you've been doing this for ten years,
Speaker 1: like you've been doing it on your laptop for ten
Speaker 1: years doing like Mexican Master and shit.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah yeah at least eight eight seriously, but around ten?
Speaker 1: And why did you go to.
Speaker 6: LA to make music? There's like a lot of opportunities
Speaker 6: to make music here. There's a lot of creative people here.
Speaker 6: It just feels like a place that I fit in
Speaker 6: more than in Hawaii.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you I mean you like being there?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay. So option one is to take a bunch of
Speaker 1: student loans and go to music school in la Option
Speaker 1: two is to go live in a tent in Hawaii.
Speaker 1: Option three is to keep doing what you're doing right now,
Speaker 1: which tell me again what that looks like.
Speaker 6: What that looks like is hoping that my knee recovers quickly,
Speaker 6: signing up for more jobs, and trying to freelance a
Speaker 6: studio business.
Speaker 2: Out of my house.
Speaker 1: Can't you just okay? I have a few questions about
Speaker 1: your options, right is like, okay, Well, number one with
Speaker 1: the school thing is like, you know more about this
Speaker 1: industry than than I do. But is there anything, uh
Speaker 1: in the universe of music production that you can't just
Speaker 1: fucking oh, there's a fire truck on Is there anything
Speaker 1: in the world of music production that you can't just learn?
Speaker 1: I feel like we're in a We're in a song
Speaker 1: right now that has the police sirens in the background.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 6: Okay, sorry, No, you're good, you got that's just my house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was okay, sorry, I was gonna say, why
Speaker 1: can't okay, why can't you just learn this on the internet?
Speaker 1: Why do you have to spend a billion dollars to.
Speaker 6: School, because well, I can learn it on the internet.
Speaker 2: To a degree.
Speaker 6: It's just that I'm I'm limited by the type of
Speaker 6: equipment that I can use. So you know, I have
Speaker 6: like an okay setup, but if I went to school,
Speaker 6: then I could learn how to use like a million
Speaker 6: dollars uh like equipment.
Speaker 1: Okay, what's your ultimate like goal? Is it to like,
Speaker 1: do you want to do like your own artist project
Speaker 1: or you want to be a producer for other people?
Speaker 6: Well, I want to make music and I want to
Speaker 6: be a recording engineer for other people.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you think that how much would it cost
Speaker 1: for you to go to school? Oh?
Speaker 6: Man, it's like eighty eight thousand, but I could probably
Speaker 6: get some like student aids.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, I'm not a bit I've gone on
Speaker 1: this rant on this show a billion times, but like
Speaker 1: I'm not a huge fan of like going eighty eight
Speaker 1: thousand dollars into debt for you know, like something that's
Speaker 1: not like a hot guarantee. You know, I'm not if
Speaker 1: you were to tell me, like, yeah, I'm investing money
Speaker 1: into equipment, you know, that would that would make sense?
Speaker 1: Or you're investing money into like online courses. But I
Speaker 1: just don't think that the absolute best way to invest
Speaker 1: in this is like through school. I mean, I guess,
Speaker 1: I guess if I were you, you're already out in
Speaker 1: LA I assume you have your cost of living as
Speaker 1: low as it can go with you know, roommates and whatever.
Speaker 6: I don't know, I kind of screwed myself, how Yeah.
Speaker 1: I had to screw yourself.
Speaker 6: Well, I signed a year lease and then the like
Speaker 6: literally the day before uh my like whole year started
Speaker 6: for the least, or like two days before, I really
Speaker 6: messed up my leg. Uh it's like my knee, it
Speaker 6: was all messed up.
Speaker 1: Why did that screw Why did that screw you in
Speaker 1: your living situation?
Speaker 6: Well, because now I don't have the three jobs that
Speaker 6: I had anymore.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 6: I mean I technically still have two of them, but
Speaker 6: they're just I just have to figure out how I
Speaker 6: can go back to them, and yeah, all that stuff.
Speaker 3: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: Hm hmmmmmmm. I don't know. Maybe I'm a boomer about
Speaker 1: all of this, but I don't know how the music
Speaker 1: industry works. It just it just seems like something that
Speaker 1: has like a low barrier to entry in terms of
Speaker 1: the making of the stuff, right, Like, and I'm sure
Speaker 1: I'm sure that Uh, DJs and music producers will get
Speaker 1: furious with me for saying that, you know, just as
Speaker 1: just as I I say, I say that, you know,
Speaker 1: you can make a great movie on your iPhone, right.
Speaker 1: But I think when it comes to wanting to be
Speaker 1: a producer for the people, it's like, well, well, you know,
Speaker 1: make a list of the twenty fucking people that you
Speaker 1: really want to do it for, or a hundred people
Speaker 1: you really want to do it for, and find out
Speaker 1: how to reach out to them and find a sample,
Speaker 1: make a sample that you're really proud of. And there's
Speaker 1: a lot of kind of you know whatever, hustly entrepreneury
Speaker 1: ways you can go about it other than just like
Speaker 1: going to school.
Speaker 2: I absolutely agree.
Speaker 6: You know, I think you convinced me, manuck. I never
Speaker 6: wanted to go to college genery, so yeah, you convinced me.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 6: I'm just trying to make it happen probably here. I mean,
Speaker 6: I don't I really don't want.
Speaker 2: To go back to life.
Speaker 6: I just don't. Yeah, oh yeah, try and make it here.
Speaker 6: But yeah, man, I mean I just yeah, I realized,
Speaker 6: like when my leg got messed up like that, I
Speaker 6: was just, uh, you know, all my jobs, like we're
Speaker 6: almost like zero skill involved in them, unfortunately.
Speaker 2: I mean I was I'm like a.
Speaker 6: Delivery writer and uh I work at a grocery store
Speaker 6: and a restaurant, and I was just like, dang, like
Speaker 6: I just realized that like if I didn't have my leg,
Speaker 6: like my job just doesn't give a fuck about me,
Speaker 6: like or they just don't really have a room for me,
Speaker 6: and like I don't know, yeah, just kind of like
Speaker 6: well it did make me. It made me depressed, like
Speaker 6: the first day, to be honest, I was like I
Speaker 6: was a little bit depressed. I mean the doctor asked
Speaker 6: me if I was depressed off like no, because I
Speaker 6: don't know. I from it like kind of quickly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but.
Speaker 6: Like I just tried to catch myself. I was like
Speaker 6: I just noticed that I was I was starting to
Speaker 6: do like bad habits that I've like since like moved
Speaker 6: on from in my life. And I felt like that
Speaker 6: was like a sign to me. I was like, Okay,
Speaker 6: like I'm feeling a little bit depressed because yeah, I
Speaker 6: was just bummed out because like I wasn't really even
Speaker 6: appreciating my life. And I didn't even tell you the
Speaker 6: worst part, man, I don't even tell you like how
Speaker 6: I messed up my leg. Man, that's like the most
Speaker 6: embarrassing part. Well, I messed up my leg because I
Speaker 6: went to this concert. It was like a NASCAR a concert,
Speaker 6: so it was like chat metal music and metal music,
Speaker 6: and I was like dancing in the mastrap for like
Speaker 6: the whole night. But then once nascar Al comes in
Speaker 6: because he was the headliner, he was the last artist.
Speaker 6: He started playing his song move to Moved to America,
Speaker 6: and and when he was playing that song, they they
Speaker 6: messed up my leg pretty bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: The mosh pit, yeah, yeah, I got distracted because I
Speaker 6: was just busney dancing, like I don't even like mash
Speaker 6: in the moshpit. I just was like dancing and dodging people.
Speaker 6: But I got distracted because nascar Ala was going going
Speaker 6: off and then oh my leg just got messed up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean yeah, the mosh pit is a bit
Speaker 1: of a fuck around and find out kind of place.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's why I named my studio that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh you named your studio the mash pit.
Speaker 6: I named my studio fuck around and find out studio.
Speaker 1: That's fun. I yeah, dude, some people I was I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but I was at a like as
Speaker 1: was four months ago. I was at a punk show
Speaker 1: in Baltimore with my friends and and I hadn't been
Speaker 1: to like something like that in a long time. And
Speaker 1: the mosh pit is crazy. People are doing full three
Speaker 1: sixty degree wheels with both arms, just like beating, just
Speaker 1: just a tornado of fists, and they're running all around.
Speaker 2: It is. It is.
Speaker 1: An orgy of kinetic energy and violence. It is a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. It's fun to go near, but you don't.
Speaker 1: You don't want to toe the line because you will
Speaker 1: get punched in the fucking face. Unapologetically.
Speaker 6: Yeah, luckily I didn't get punched in the face.
Speaker 2: That's what I was thankful for.
Speaker 6: But I did get either kicked or just upper cut
Speaker 6: it in the nme and the doctor said I might
Speaker 6: have torn my miniscu.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know what's your name again?
Speaker 4: I try to too crazy?
Speaker 1: Crazy all right? Of course, how could I forget crazy? Okay?
Speaker 1: A couple of things. One is, you know, if if
Speaker 1: you decide you don't want to go to college and
Speaker 1: you want to save the money, you know, I think
Speaker 1: that's cool. If you have to go back to well, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you don't have any if you don't have any money.
Speaker 1: You don't want to have negative money, you know, with debt.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess that's true.
Speaker 1: So I think, yeah, yeah, I mean that's that's the
Speaker 1: If you're going to go into debt, I think it
Speaker 1: should be for a real, real, fucking good reason. But also,
Speaker 1: but like, look, man, here's a if you have to
Speaker 1: go back and live in the tent in Hawaii, don't uh,
Speaker 1: don't consider the dream dead.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: Look, look here, here's something. Here's what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: don't think you're gonna have to go back to the tent.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're gonna have to go back to
Speaker 1: the tent. I think you can make it in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: I think you can. I'm holding out for you to
Speaker 1: hold out. But if you're looking around and you're just
Speaker 1: financially leg lee whatever, you got to go back and
Speaker 1: live in the tent for a second. It's not over.
Speaker 1: If you have to go live in the tent, you
Speaker 1: can make music and be around other creative people making
Speaker 1: things in really any major city in the world and
Speaker 1: just on or just fucking you know, in the world
Speaker 1: we live in on the fucking computer, so you know what,
Speaker 1: you can twitch, stream you can twitch stream sets from
Speaker 1: the fucking tent. You know, there's ways to do all this,
Speaker 1: So just I encourage you to just, I guess, try
Speaker 1: to be creative and trying not to count yourself out,
Speaker 1: and you know, keep keep doing your shit. Crazy. You're
Speaker 1: you're you're fucking crazy. I'm crazy. Everything's everything's fucking crazy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm crazy, all right, And and uh yeah,
Speaker 6: I mean yeah, I mean that that was mostly, uh
Speaker 6: mostly the reason called I'm gonna have it like a
Speaker 6: house warming party to night. But yeah, it's just like
Speaker 6: it's just it's just nerve wracking and stuff. But I
Speaker 6: mean I think that I think I'll make it too.
Speaker 6: My friend he moved out here too. He's like he
Speaker 6: just like doubled his rent and stuff. But I don't know,
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna put his information out too much.
Speaker 1: You're having you're having a house party tonight.
Speaker 6: Housewarming party. Yeah, but it's just two of my friends.
Speaker 6: It's not really a party.
Speaker 1: That's fucking fun. Man, got to have fun, don't. Well
Speaker 1: look whatever, here's the thing. Uh, worry and stressed and
Speaker 1: be out, I mean worry and stress out during the day,
Speaker 1: but once it hits around seven PM, just clock out
Speaker 1: and hang out with your friends, because you know that's
Speaker 1: the only fucking real thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right man. Well yeah, man, yeah,
Speaker 6: uh that's definitely been helpful and and and yeah, like
Speaker 6: uhh yeah, man, appreciate your help.
Speaker 1: You want to plug, you can plug if you want.
Speaker 1: I want to hear your ship.
Speaker 6: I mean it's just uh, it's crazy spelt like k
Speaker 6: r a y e.
Speaker 3: Z y o k r a.
Speaker 1: Y e y z Oh, cray cray easy.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, some people say cray easy.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Cray easy. Why yeah, yeah, Like what do
Speaker 1: you want? R A y is your name? Okay? You're okay,
Speaker 1: you're Kyle? Is that you?
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, well you're on Instagram or somewhere?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh is that?
Speaker 1: Should we not? Is that bad to have?
Speaker 6: Oh no, no, it's fine. I mean I don't really
Speaker 6: care that people.
Speaker 1: I don't really Oh no, I'm just looking for it.
Speaker 1: I'm just I was just like, what are you okay?
Speaker 1: I'm on your okay? SoundCloud? Is that where you have
Speaker 1: most of your ship? I mean you have one you
Speaker 1: have one song. You have one song. Listen to it.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not gonna be able to play on
Speaker 1: the podcast. I'll just live reaction listen to it.
Speaker 6: Oh, thanks man, Yeah.
Speaker 1: All right, this is Cray all right. If the people
Speaker 1: at home want to listen to this, this is Cray easy.
Speaker 1: The song is antiseptic, so you can probably find it
Speaker 1: on his if you can find it if you go
Speaker 1: on the internet. All right, I'm gonna blind listen to this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well crazy, Yeah, I like it, thanks.
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, for sure, I like. I think people check
Speaker 1: it out. I just realized that I wasn't. I just
Speaker 1: realized that if I can't put it on the podcast,
Speaker 1: I was gonna be staring standing there in silence.
Speaker 6: For oh yeah, yeah, that would be awkward twenty seconds.
Speaker 1: But I didn't want to talk over it. But uh,
Speaker 1: I like it. I like, I'm not I'm not Anthony
Speaker 1: Fantana or anything, but I I uh uh I like.
Speaker 2: I like.
Speaker 1: It's definitely crazy. I sound like I sound like I'm
Speaker 1: trying to come up with something nice to say, but
Speaker 1: I genuinely do. I genuinely do like it.
Speaker 6: No, no, yeah, yeah, I'm just saying you tell me
Speaker 6: of treasure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll tell you if it's if it's trash.
Speaker 6: If it was trash, then i'd be I'd be on
Speaker 6: the plane back to the wife.
Speaker 2: Probably.
Speaker 6: No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't take one person's opinion that seriously. But like,
Speaker 6: if enough people convince me that it's trash, then like,
Speaker 6: I mean, I guess I'm like, I'm still gonna make music,
Speaker 6: but I'm probably not gonna try and like make it
Speaker 6: in a major city because it's a little bit tough.
Speaker 6: I don't know, you know what, I screw other people.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't care what other people think of should but
Speaker 6: it does make it easier if people are like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 6: you're going in the right direction. Like, I respect everybody's opinion,
Speaker 6: but I don't think that I should let it affect
Speaker 6: my actions.
Speaker 1: I guess, you know, uh, getting validation on your life?
Speaker 1: You know what the scariest fucking thing about uh being
Speaker 1: like an adult with free will is is that no
Speaker 1: one can really give you some sort of final validation
Speaker 1: on any of your life choices.
Speaker 6: No, yeah, that's true, that's true.
Speaker 3: It's what it is.
Speaker 1: It is one of the uh most terrifying parts of
Speaker 1: being being an adult. But but you know what it's
Speaker 1: that's it's a tax on having the freedom to make
Speaker 1: those decisions. But anyway, crazy, is there anything else you
Speaker 1: want to say to the people of the computer before
Speaker 1: we go?
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, yeah, okay, So to the people of the computer,
Speaker 6: I just want to say that, you know, always love yourself,
Speaker 6: always stay positive no matter Oh and well, I mean
Speaker 6: I would just say to all the atheists out there,
Speaker 6: I would just say, reconsider.
Speaker 1: That you're a man. You're a man of God.
Speaker 6: I believe in a higher power.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I believe in like, uh, Christianity
Speaker 1: so much, but uh, I think a higher power. I'm
Speaker 1: starting to I'm starting to kind of think there's gotta
Speaker 1: be uh some I don't know if I don't know
Speaker 1: about Jesus, but there's almost certainly some form of higher
Speaker 1: consciousness or something like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I respect that.
Speaker 6: I respect that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: That's why I like, I'm not hating on the atheist
Speaker 6: out there. I'm just I'm just asking them to to
Speaker 6: maybe reconsider, because you know, why why commit to to
Speaker 6: not believing and on afterlife or and you know, anything
Speaker 6: greater than this world.
Speaker 2: Because I don't know.
Speaker 6: Sometimes like, uh, if you get super depressing, if you
Speaker 6: think like, oh, yeah, this is it, this is the
Speaker 6: this is the meaning of it all. We're just you know,
Speaker 6: here doing this because like, uh, I mean at the
Speaker 6: same time though, I mean, while you're here on earth,
Speaker 6: I think that uh, spreading positivity is the best thing
Speaker 6: that we can do because we can, we can list
Speaker 6: everybody around us up and we can give other people
Speaker 6: the motivation to chase their dreams. Uh if we just
Speaker 6: uh yeah, if we just don't give up on ourselves
Speaker 6: then if we if we don't do things that because
Speaker 6: I feel like everybody has the conscious and like sometimes
Speaker 6: you ignore your conscious and and that's when, uh, that's
Speaker 6: when you start taking negatively at those times.
Speaker 1: Uh crazy, Thanks for calling, and good luck on your journey. Brother.
Speaker 6: Thanks, well, it's super good talking with you. And yes,
Speaker 6: stay stay crazy, bro.
Speaker 1: Hopefully hopefully I'll be less crazy next time you talk
Speaker 1: to me. But you you you stay crazy to you
Speaker 1: stay crazy too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm gonna be crazy and then I'm gonna be
Speaker 6: a little crazy eventually, because yeah, I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 6: but you'll yeah.
Speaker 1: You'll be you'll be a little crazy. You'll be a
Speaker 1: little crazy because you're a little less crazy, all right. See,
Speaker 1: you're crazy fuck. I hung up on him, but I
Speaker 1: didn't ware to hang up on him. A conversation was over.
Speaker 1: I liked that guy a lot, I really did. I
Speaker 1: liked that guy a lot.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: He was talking about, well, okay, what is an atheist?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna actually google this. A theist definition A person
Speaker 1: who lacks belief in the existence of God. But what, like,
Speaker 1: what is God? God is like a supreme being, creator,
Speaker 1: principal object of faith? Yeah, I think like the concept
Speaker 1: of like God is like, uh, A is sort of
Speaker 1: like there's a supreme being who is like and like
Speaker 1: and like existence is is a monarchy ruled by God.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think I believe in that,
Speaker 1: but uh, there's gotta be some kind of higher power.
Speaker 1: I was thinking a lot about like. I'm sure I've
Speaker 1: talked about this on the fucking podcast before, but I
Speaker 1: have to think it a lot about just like WHOA,
Speaker 1: what we are all experiencing is quite psychedelic and bizarre
Speaker 1: and miraculous and beyond comprehension even if you, I guess,
Speaker 1: even if you study stuff. Someone in the someone in
Speaker 1: the in the in the stream chat said you could
Speaker 1: even say that life is crazy and that's I believe that.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if I believe in like there
Speaker 1: is a God and he is watching and all that,
Speaker 1: you know, Jesus and stuff. But uh, you know, when
Speaker 1: we die or was just when we die, it's probably
Speaker 1: exactly how it was before we were born. That makes
Speaker 1: a lot of sense. But then what the fuck is
Speaker 1: our consciousness? Where does that go? Does that go anywhere?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know what. Look I also
Speaker 1: will also also you know what I was, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna keep going on this rant because
Speaker 1: it's I'm enjoying it, like.
Speaker 3: You ever.
Speaker 1: Uh Like, sometimes you'll be walking and you'll see someone
Speaker 1: and maybe they're like, I don't Like I'll be in
Speaker 1: New York and I'll see somebody like sleeping on the street,
Speaker 1: and I'll just be like, there's no like, tell me
Speaker 1: if this makes sense to folks. There's no real reason
Speaker 1: at all whatsoever why I am me and that guy
Speaker 1: is him. There's no real reason, you know. I mean
Speaker 1: people make arguments about like, you know, making different choices
Speaker 1: and people make and you know, but but yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is the thing. You grow up in different circumstances
Speaker 1: that are completely utterly fucking random. You know, your brain chemistry,
Speaker 1: even if you and someone else do make different decisions,
Speaker 1: your brain chemistry is completely fucking random.
Speaker 5: And so.
Speaker 1: The reason, so the reason why you make the decision
Speaker 1: that you make is completely random. Like it's just so rare.
Speaker 1: There's no fucking reason why I am me and anyone
Speaker 1: else is anyone else? There's no I can't like you.
Speaker 1: And again, you sure, at a certain point you can
Speaker 1: argue it's like I had I intrinsically made different decisions,
Speaker 1: but there's but what is it in my head that
Speaker 1: causes me to make decisions that negatively impact my life
Speaker 1: or positively impact my life? And I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: specifically me? And it's like, yeah, it's a fucking singularity.
Speaker 1: We're all one. So I think that is God. That's
Speaker 1: kind of God to me in a sense. Is answering
Speaker 1: that question, why is anyone who they are? Why am
Speaker 1: I me random? I'm so I'm I'm myself so randomly
Speaker 1: it's insane. There's no fucking reason why I am I
Speaker 1: am me and anyone else is who they are? Why
Speaker 1: am I not a fucking dog?
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 1: I think about this too much?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: All right, anyway I got. Yeah, that's my god. I think,
Speaker 1: all right, that's it. I'm gonna stop rantic about this
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna stop parrantic about this because I missed that.
Speaker 1: I missed the times in my life where I just
Speaker 1: fucking played Super Mario and I didn't think about any
Speaker 1: of this shit. I'm glad I do think about this
Speaker 1: shit sometimes. I think if I went through this, this
Speaker 1: ride of life and I never thought about any of
Speaker 1: this shit once, I'd probably have an awesome time. I'd
Speaker 1: probably have so much more fun. But whatever, I am,
Speaker 1: who I am, this is these thoughts come into my brain.
Speaker 1: I accept it. It could be worse, all right, whatever,
Speaker 1: let's keep going. Hello, Hi, what is your name?
Speaker 4: No way, dude, lyle my name? Oh my gosh, wow,
Speaker 4: my name is Lufa. Let's go with Lufa.
Speaker 1: Lufah, good to talk to you, Lufa. How are you
Speaker 1: doing this evening.
Speaker 4: It's good to talk to you, man. I'm I'm doing
Speaker 4: all right. Uh. Just got home from work, had some
Speaker 4: Chinese food. I was about to go ride my bike
Speaker 4: to get my car fixed, and I saw that you're streaming,
Speaker 4: so I thought i'd hit you up.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 4: So it's super cool to be on. You know, I've
Speaker 4: sen for a for a hot minute and uh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's cool to catch you. How are you doing tonight?
Speaker 1: You know? Uh, I'm not just saying this, but I'm
Speaker 1: actually doing better now that I'm here recording. Uh you know,
Speaker 1: idle hands are are? They belong to the devil? The
Speaker 1: devil uses idle hands two to jerk him off and
Speaker 1: come devil fire on your face. That wasn't that funny?
Speaker 1: But I tried. You sound like you're having a chill night.
Speaker 1: I love a chill night. You're getting Chinese food and
Speaker 1: you're gonna ride a bike.
Speaker 2: That's the plan.
Speaker 4: I am gonna ride a bike. Are you?
Speaker 1: You know the chill guy meme like with the like
Speaker 1: dog with yeah, with the dog with hands. That's who
Speaker 1: I imagine you as. Are you what do you identify
Speaker 1: with that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Really no, Like, for.
Speaker 4: One, typically phone calls are like horrible, Like for me personally,
Speaker 4: I actually have a stutter, but right now I'm pretty fluent,
Speaker 4: which is kind of funny. But yeah, like phone calls
Speaker 4: for work and just even talking to like my parents
Speaker 4: and stuff. Sometimes like I just like, oh no, I'm
Speaker 4: not very chill, but yah, yeah, yeah, but I feel
Speaker 4: all right today it's Friday.
Speaker 1: What about in uh real life? Are you better in
Speaker 1: real life or is it? Is it just the phones.
Speaker 4: For sure? Better in real life?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Like I feel like phones like the only medium of
Speaker 4: conversation is you know, voice and like audio and so
Speaker 4: like every queue, like every non verbal queue that you
Speaker 4: have with talking in person, it's just not there, you know.
Speaker 1: So yeah, m hmm, Well what are you?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, I know what I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: Was there anything in particular that you wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about today? It's okay if notlge continue talking about nothing.
Speaker 4: No, I kind of do have something to talk about.
Speaker 4: I kind of like big picture in my life. I
Speaker 4: feel like I'm just kind of out of crossroads with
Speaker 4: where I want to take my life, you know, I
Speaker 4: I don't know or exactly to begin. I recently moved
Speaker 4: to Montana, which I'm loving. It's such a cool state,
Speaker 4: and I moved here to be in a smaller town
Speaker 4: but also be near the mountains. But also because there's
Speaker 4: a girl.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 4: Who is Canadian. She is in Canada, and we're both
Speaker 4: like in this really strong like situationship where we both
Speaker 4: like really love each other, like we both like go
Speaker 4: and visit each other and go on hikes and go
Speaker 4: rock climbing and do all these awesome adventures together.
Speaker 2: And but she's.
Speaker 4: Living in a current like work living situation where she
Speaker 4: doesn't want to leave and I kind of don't really
Speaker 4: want to leave either to like try and get my
Speaker 4: Canadian citizenship, and like at the same time, it's just
Speaker 4: like this weird disconnect of poor conversation or like poor
Speaker 4: communication her and I have, and I just don't know
Speaker 4: if I should try and move to Canada to be
Speaker 4: closer to her and like jump through all these hoops
Speaker 4: to try and be with her, and you know, like
Speaker 4: maybe her and I don't work out in the long run,
Speaker 4: and then I'm in Canada and I don't really want
Speaker 4: to be in Canada anymore, but I've like worked so
Speaker 4: hard to get there. Or do I just stay here
Speaker 4: and keep living separate from her and you know, keep
Speaker 4: seeing each other like maybe once a month and I
Speaker 4: don't know, yeah, yeah, So it's just kind of like
Speaker 4: general broad terms of I don't know where to go
Speaker 4: from here, and like, uh, like if I should be Canadian.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I should become Canadian. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you moved to Montana to be closer to this girl
Speaker 1: because Montana is near Canada? Is she near Montana?
Speaker 2: Ish?
Speaker 4: Yes? Yeah, We're five hours drive away from each other.
Speaker 4: So I'm like like an hour south of the border.
Speaker 4: She's like four hours north of the border.
Speaker 1: But then, how can't you hang out in Canada for
Speaker 1: a fair amount of time? Like don't isn't there a
Speaker 1: tourist visa you can get? Same with you know, to
Speaker 1: the US?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, like there is like a visa. Well there's
Speaker 4: like a really expensive travel visa. I think that like
Speaker 4: you can only like that's only good for like two years,
Speaker 4: and after that, I think you just have to leave.
Speaker 4: But I think I could like get my permanent residency
Speaker 4: through my work maybe, But yeah, I guess, like I
Speaker 4: don't know, like like one of the big like cruxes
Speaker 4: of it all. And it's like I just don't know
Speaker 4: if if like if I moved and you know, did
Speaker 4: all this work, if she would be like like committed
Speaker 4: to like stay with me, I don't know.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 4: It's just something that I need to talk with her about.
Speaker 1: Uh, how old are you guys?
Speaker 4: We're both twenty eight.
Speaker 1: And had you meet her?
Speaker 4: We met hiking on the Arizona Trail in Arizona.
Speaker 1: Cool. Cool? How long have you guys known each other?
Speaker 4: Like two years now? Uh so we met, yeah, in
Speaker 4: twenty twenty three in the middle of the desert.
Speaker 1: And this is not like a girlfriend kat with a
Speaker 1: capital G.
Speaker 4: No no, which is another confusing thing. Like, we haven't
Speaker 4: made anything like official, but we really enjoy seeing each other,
Speaker 4: Like we plan to meet each other very often, and
Speaker 4: we do see each other very often, but it's nothing
Speaker 4: like official, like she says, if I were to be
Speaker 4: able to live with her, then we would, like she
Speaker 4: would be comfortable with like being official.
Speaker 1: So do you really do you really like this girl?
Speaker 1: Do you see a future with her?
Speaker 4: I really do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 4: Like we have like similar I guess. Well, for sure
Speaker 4: things that we love to do. We love to be
Speaker 4: outside and adventure together and bird watching like, but more
Speaker 4: than that, like we just have similar you know, humors,
Speaker 4: and just have similar values and you know, want kind
Speaker 4: of the same thing out of life. So I do
Speaker 4: like really love her, and she, you know, says that
Speaker 4: she loves me.
Speaker 1: What is it that you guys both want out of life?
Speaker 4: I guess really just too have like a base camp
Speaker 4: somewhere that's like in like nature, you know, not have kids,
Speaker 4: but to just have some kind of base camp where we.
Speaker 3: Can and.
Speaker 4: You know, make just enough money to have a lot
Speaker 4: of free time to go explore and do cool things,
Speaker 4: and then to come back, you know, to our headquarters
Speaker 4: and just yeah, like live life there and like do
Speaker 4: it all over again, you know, go and leave for
Speaker 4: six months and go like hike and explore and yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: and just do that.
Speaker 1: Again, you know, So you want to live yeah, like
Speaker 1: a little like six months traveling, six months hanging out
Speaker 1: at your base camp.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: Sounds awesome.
Speaker 4: Yeah, kind of a random segue, But I remember when
Speaker 4: you and the oh my gosh, what's his name, uh
Speaker 4: something Merlin, the guy that you went to Japan.
Speaker 1: With, uh Jason Jason Sense Martian.
Speaker 4: Martian. Yeah, I was watching y'all stream on the last
Speaker 4: day of y'all walk.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and.
Speaker 4: I was the one that mentioned Heally's If you by
Speaker 4: chance to.
Speaker 1: Remember that, I do. I vaguely remember that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, hell yeah, uh.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That had nothing that had nothing to do with uh
Speaker 1: the rest of our conversation, did it.
Speaker 4: Correct?
Speaker 1: Okay, that's totally fine. I was just making sure. I
Speaker 1: was just making sure. I don't know if you had
Speaker 1: anything else, you know, so this base can't would it
Speaker 1: be in Canada?
Speaker 4: Probably?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like she's kind of turned off on the idea
Speaker 4: of being American, like especially right now. But and also
Speaker 4: like it'd be cool to not pay for expensive health care,
Speaker 4: you know, like in the US.
Speaker 1: Yeah you yeah, you becoming Canadian is the better the better.
Speaker 4: Deal, right yeah, Like, and mainly just not having to
Speaker 4: be tied down to a job for health care, you know,
Speaker 4: uh yeah, like a pretty lucrative thing.
Speaker 1: That's so sick that they just do that. They just
Speaker 1: don't have to pay for health care.
Speaker 4: Right right, Like that sounds amazing, Like I guess there
Speaker 4: are like some way that you do pay for it
Speaker 4: that everybody pays for it, like your taxes, right, but
Speaker 4: it it must be much cheaper than you know, getting
Speaker 4: injured and breaking your leg without insurance being slapped at
Speaker 4: the bill for a bajillion dollars here m.
Speaker 1: Hm, I feel I feel for you on this situation, brother.
Speaker 1: Love is is difficult, and and making things like this
Speaker 1: work is difficult, and it's and and everything you described
Speaker 1: to me, like being so aligned on the future that
Speaker 1: you guys want to have and everything is it sounded
Speaker 1: really uh, really compelling and really really touching, and so
Speaker 1: you're worried about going through the whole process and then
Speaker 1: it just doesn't work out. Uh what does that mean?
Speaker 1: It just doesn't work out?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 5: Like I just feel like.
Speaker 4: She, I don't know, Like, for one, we just have
Speaker 4: kind of not the best like communication. Like we'll talk
Speaker 4: like like I will typically bring up the fact that like, hey,
Speaker 4: like it's kind of weird telling everyone that I know
Speaker 4: that you're just my friend when like it's kind of obvious,
Speaker 4: you know, like we're more than friends. Like it's uh,
Speaker 4: and like you know, whenever we whenever I bring up
Speaker 4: kind of that and just have try to start harder
Speaker 4: conversations like she just kind of has no input, just
Speaker 4: kind of like bottles up and doesn't really want to
Speaker 4: talk about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And.
Speaker 4: Like it's hard too because I honestly don't I haven't
Speaker 4: talked to anyone about this, and like it like it
Speaker 4: does you know, just seem like kind of like there
Speaker 4: are some general red flags and like I don't know, like.
Speaker 2: Like I'm just.
Speaker 4: I've just had this like gut feeling of you know,
Speaker 4: maybe she might go meet someone else who you know,
Speaker 4: like has a situation like her, like like where they
Speaker 4: can take off months at a time, and like, you know,
Speaker 4: she just leaves me for for them, and you know,
Speaker 4: like her not being committed to me, like like would
Speaker 4: seem like a validation for her to just go and
Speaker 4: do that, you know, to just leave me for someone else.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I don't know if I want to. Uh, I've
Speaker 4: gone like back and forth with like, I don't know,
Speaker 4: I don't, I don't. Yeah, there's just some other things
Speaker 4: to it that is like we're both not proud of. Yeah,
Speaker 4: yeah is it?
Speaker 1: Uh, you know whatever. You don't have to talk about it,
Speaker 1: but you know, do you feel like you've expressed all
Speaker 1: your honest feelings to this person?
Speaker 4: I feel like I have not told her what I
Speaker 4: just told you. I've not told her, but I just
Speaker 4: told you.
Speaker 1: What specifically, what specifically that you feel like she's the communication.
Speaker 2: Is bad.
Speaker 4: That and that she would just leave me for someone
Speaker 4: else if she were to meet someone that she likes more.
Speaker 1: Well, that's more of like I get I'm playing complete
Speaker 1: armchair psychologist and I'm truly, actually horrible with relationships and
Speaker 1: relationship matters and whatnot. But just from my gut, it's like,
Speaker 1: I do know something about that is like that's more
Speaker 1: of like a insecurity I think than it is like
Speaker 1: a actual like oh this this is like a thing
Speaker 1: that we need to communicate on and get an answer about,
Speaker 1: right hm hm, you know, because just just saying like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm worried you're gonna leave me for someone else, it's like, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know how she's supposed to respond.
Speaker 5: To that like it.
Speaker 1: But like like the thing, the thing that you said
Speaker 1: where you're like, hey, listen, are we you know how
Speaker 1: the thing the thing where you're basically like, look, how
Speaker 1: committed are you to actually fucking doing this shit? You
Speaker 1: know that that prompts a response, So I mean that's
Speaker 1: worth talking about whether. But yeah, the other the other thing,
Speaker 1: I guess again I'm no what what what's the fucking
Speaker 1: lady's name who says stuff? But I'm not her? But yeah,
Speaker 1: the other one seems seems just kind of like an insecurity,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know if it needs to explicitly be
Speaker 1: brought up unless if you like actively have like ever
Speaker 1: believe that she is like cheating on you. You know,
Speaker 1: like you don't want to be like accusatory. You don't
Speaker 1: you don't want to be like accusatory, but you do
Speaker 1: want to be like hey, right, you don't have you
Speaker 1: don't to be accusatory, but you do kind of want
Speaker 1: to be like hey, look, if we're gonna do this,
Speaker 1: I kind of need this. What do you think about that?
Speaker 4: That's a good point. Yeah, yeah, that maybe the specific
Speaker 4: thing of her being with someone else is just kind
Speaker 4: of a like more of like an insecurity maybe on
Speaker 4: my part where it doesn't prompt like a response.
Speaker 2: M hmm, yeah, but.
Speaker 4: I mean okay, And then here's another kind of twist
Speaker 4: to it. She definitely has been with someone else, like
Speaker 4: last year, like she just like hooked up with someone
Speaker 4: and she told me, and like I you know, like asked,
Speaker 4: and it hurt, like and it's like a complicated thing
Speaker 4: because she's like not even talking to him anymore, and.
Speaker 3: And like.
Speaker 4: You know, like we're like I know, like we're not
Speaker 4: like you know, officially dating, but we also you know,
Speaker 4: like both like don't want to stop seeing each other.
Speaker 4: You know. It's just like I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 4: It's all very complex but but simple.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, now I get you on the complex
Speaker 1: but simple, My brother, we have all been in situations
Speaker 1: like this where we're like, yeah, this is not a
Speaker 1: movie romance. This is a fucking a formoist thing, unlabeled
Speaker 1: and undefined, and you know, yeah, being in purgatory with
Speaker 1: someone sucks. It sucks ass, It's not fun, it's not
Speaker 1: really fulfilling, and it's it is filled with tons of
Speaker 1: emotional drain and pain. So you know, I feel you
Speaker 1: on that, I would say again in this situation. Okay,
Speaker 1: so she hooked up with another guy, But so she
Speaker 1: looked up with another guy because there was no formal
Speaker 1: or even informal understanding of exclusivity between the two, which
Speaker 1: you do you agree upon that or is that not true?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: Ther question is she hooked up with him because her
Speaker 4: and I are not exclusive, right, like because of that?
Speaker 1: Well not because of not not because but she felt
Speaker 1: that it was not a problem because of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah maybe, And like.
Speaker 4: That's what I don't know, you know, like if she
Speaker 4: she thought it wasn't a problem because of that, Look.
Speaker 1: Man, let me ask you, because we could go in
Speaker 1: circles about this ship right is like do you what
Speaker 1: information do you need from from this lady? Or is
Speaker 1: it a matter of like what information do you need
Speaker 1: from this lady right now that you don't have?
Speaker 4: I I don't know. I guess just like some kind
Speaker 4: of like commitment that like if I were to work
Speaker 4: towards moving to Canada and being to Canada, that she
Speaker 4: wouldn't just like leave me for someone else.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, if I'm going on the fucking uh
Speaker 1: website and I'm converting American dollars to your you know,
Speaker 1: fucking Canada money, and I'm like submitting applications and doing
Speaker 1: papers and going to the embassy, and if I'm doing
Speaker 1: all this shit, you are my girlfriend. I'm not doing
Speaker 1: all this stuff for a uh you know, friends with
Speaker 1: benefits situation. This is just seems yeah, sort of what
Speaker 1: I'm hearing.
Speaker 4: For sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I mean, ship brother, let me tell you.
Speaker 1: I I I know that uh making these kinds of
Speaker 1: decisions and and uh identifying deal breakers is fucking really
Speaker 1: scary and hard because you're like, well, what if she
Speaker 1: doesn't want to do that? It's like, well, then am
Speaker 1: I gonna have the strength to walk away. It's fucking
Speaker 1: insanely difficult. You form a strong attachments to people and
Speaker 1: and you you look back at uh you don't, you
Speaker 1: don't really it's time you don't be alone all this stuff, Like,
Speaker 1: I get it, I've been there, but a bunch of
Speaker 1: everyone's fucking listening that's probably been there.
Speaker 3: But uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it sounds like you know kind of
Speaker 1: what you want from this lady, and then it's just
Speaker 1: a matter of telling her, seeing how she responds, and
Speaker 1: deciding whether or not you're satisfied with her response.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, just you know, it'd be
Speaker 4: a huge life change, and you know there's some big
Speaker 4: conversations that go with that.
Speaker 1: You know, well, yeah, dude, I mean being being like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'll do this for you if you actually are like
Speaker 1: committed to making this life that we've been talking about
Speaker 1: wanting to live together. But if you're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: it would be cool if you came. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: fucking I'm not going to change my nationality for that,
Speaker 1: right right, Like.
Speaker 4: And like I've even told her too, like nothing would
Speaker 4: change if we were like, you know, dating, you know,
Speaker 4: like it would still be cool to be like in
Speaker 4: you know, an open relationship where we like communicated and
Speaker 4: you know, told each other what was going on. Yeah, like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, spye some some things up times.
Speaker 2: Dum like, but.
Speaker 1: Well well well look look look look look hm hmm.
Speaker 1: Someone in the chat said, do not, under any circumstances
Speaker 1: move to Canada chasing a woman. Then someone said Gordon
Speaker 1: Lightfoot had whole albums about this. I don't know what
Speaker 1: that means.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Man, Listen, here's here's I think we've been going a
Speaker 1: little bit in circles on this, but I'll say that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it sounds like you have some It sounds
Speaker 1: like you have some some conversations that you gotta have
Speaker 1: with this lady. And then after those conversations, you gotta
Speaker 1: fucking you.
Speaker 2: Got a.
Speaker 1: Deep breathe, uh, get high, look yourself in the mirror,
Speaker 1: and go what do I actually want? What do I
Speaker 1: actually want my fucking stupid life to be?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Those are hard questions to answer, is a really hard
Speaker 1: question to answer. But from from everything, if my life
Speaker 1: was your life, that's what I would be doing is
Speaker 1: asking myself those questions. And and with my life being
Speaker 1: my life, I'm asking myself these kinds of questions, so
Speaker 1: you're not alone in your imperfect navigation of the scary universe.
Speaker 1: I hope that makes you feel any bit better about
Speaker 1: the decision making process. Is there anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: Man, Man, gosh, uh, it's so strange to hear you
Speaker 4: say that, and now I'm responding to it. Man, I
Speaker 4: just want to say that your podcast has been just
Speaker 4: to really just well for one, like really entertaining platform,
Speaker 4: you know, like it's really just gotten me through some
Speaker 4: hard times and it's just been.
Speaker 3: Fun to.
Speaker 4: Hear you continue, you know, everything that you've been doing.
Speaker 4: Do you travel and yeah, yeah, it's been awesome to
Speaker 4: follow along. And I guess what I'd like to finish
Speaker 4: with is that just remember that everything is temporary, you know,
Speaker 4: like everything like the good and the bad times throughout life.
Speaker 4: Like if there's some shitty thing that is happening, like
Speaker 4: just know that it's going to end. And if there's
Speaker 4: some awesome times that you're going through, just you know,
Speaker 4: like remember that times won't always be awesome and just
Speaker 4: just enjoy the good times while they're here and know
Speaker 4: that the bad times will eventually end as well.
Speaker 1: What's your name again?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 4: My trail name is Lufa.
Speaker 1: That's my name, Lufa. Good luck with your life, buddy.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you later.
Speaker 4: He thanks, Lyle. Have a good night.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Lufa. Thank you for sharing cool.
Speaker 4: See you have it going man, goodnight.
Speaker 1: Fuck man. I feel for that guy I called him,
Speaker 1: but because that felt Canadian. Uh, you know, I I
Speaker 1: feel for that guy. I feel for that guy. It's
Speaker 1: so hard to I don't know, it's hard to make decisions.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I wonder about that though. Sometimes I wonder if
Speaker 1: if a decision is hard to make, maybe that kind
Speaker 1: of informs your answer a bit, right, Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: Is that a stupid thing to say? Because some decisions
Speaker 1: are easy to make. There's an easy decision to Well,
Speaker 1: what's the less easy decision I made? Oh, they were
Speaker 1: giving out samples of Costco today ice cream with a
Speaker 1: cookie in it. That was an easy decision to make
Speaker 1: to eat that because it was just a little scoop
Speaker 1: of ice cream. It wasn't anything crazy. Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: a horrible example, but you know what I mean, Some
Speaker 1: decisions are easy to make, So maybe if a decision's
Speaker 1: hard to make, that's that's your answer. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm a gecko. Thank you for listening to my Therapy
Speaker 1: Gecko podcast. Thank you for your continued support of my
Speaker 1: Lizard endeavors. I feel really good today. I feel really
Speaker 1: good about continuing to do this podcast, and I'm extremely
Speaker 1: grateful to you guys for listening to the show. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep doing the show, and I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: trying to do other things. That's my goal right now.
Speaker 1: I'm like trying so fucking hard to figure out other
Speaker 1: stuff to keep doing with my life. I'm always chasing.
Speaker 1: I'm always wanting to do more shit. I'm always wanting
Speaker 1: to chase more. I'm editing a video right now about
Speaker 1: the fifty mile walk I took. It was referenced in
Speaker 1: the episode with Jason aka sense Martian. Uh So that'll
Speaker 1: be out when I finish it. I'm working on continuing
Speaker 1: to not go insane. We had some pretty good progress
Speaker 1: on that recently over the past three days. I'm back
Speaker 1: to smoking weed, which actually is good. It means that
Speaker 1: my brain is in a place where I can handle it.
Speaker 1: I'm I still have dreams and hopes for the future
Speaker 1: that I want to do. I have business ideas that
Speaker 1: I want to do and events that would be cool.
Speaker 1: And I was hanging out with my dad last night.
Speaker 1: My dad's sixty seven years old, and he showed me
Speaker 1: this big list of projects that he wants to get done,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh fuck, I'm gonna be, like
Speaker 1: it's in my dna to wanna do stuff. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be thirty years from now still trying to be doing
Speaker 1: stuff and making YouTube videos and whatever. And the reason
Speaker 1: I said, oh fuck, is because I don't know why
Speaker 1: I associate with I associate that with like never being satisfied.
Speaker 1: But maybe you know what, which is a blessing and
Speaker 1: a curse, because it kind of curses you with like
Speaker 1: forever is never ending sense that you didn't do your
Speaker 1: homework and it's due tomorrow night, and you know kind
Speaker 1: of that feeling every day. But you know, look, that
Speaker 1: feeling causes you to kind of lights a fire under
Speaker 1: your ass to be a present and conscious contributor to
Speaker 1: your own life and to hopefully the world. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try to embrace it instead of letting it drive
Speaker 1: me completely fucking insane. All Right, thank you for listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Ghek bless you. Uh catch you in
Speaker 1: a few days by Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's
Speaker 1: the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing
Speaker 1: a bonus episode this week that's right at an entire
Speaker 1: extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to
Speaker 1: by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at
Speaker 1: therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access
Speaker 1: to bonus episodes, They get a completely ad free podcast
Speaker 1: feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my
Speaker 1: live shows, members only streams, and they help support my
Speaker 1: ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip
Speaker 1: from this week's members only bonus episode.
Speaker 7: Well, I want to talk about my oldest daughter. Mainly,
Speaker 7: it's just my wife and I. For the past couple
Speaker 7: of years, we just feel like like maybe we babied
Speaker 7: her too much. He just seems like at this age
Speaker 7: she still isn't able to get a hold of her emotions.
Speaker 7: You know, we have a five year old as well.
Speaker 7: My oldest is eight, my youngest is five.
Speaker 5: And like you know, you're not supposed to pick favorites,
Speaker 5: but it's hard not to think of the other one
Speaker 5: as the good one and and not that we love
Speaker 5: the other one more, but it's very hard for us
Speaker 5: to like not have this space here.
Speaker 1: Okay, if you love one of your children more than
Speaker 1: the other, you can tell us. If you want to
Speaker 1: hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become
Speaker 1: a premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com
Speaker 1: or find the link in the episode description that's therapy
Speaker 1: Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing
Speaker 1: else to say. Taking your phone calls every night, everythin
Speaker 1: goes doing his eyes.
Speaker 6: He's teaching you to.
Speaker 1: A house over your life, but he's not ready an expert.
Speaker 4: After do