WEBVTT - Reciprocate

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is, if you're not sure how someone likes

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<v Speaker 1>to be treated, reciprocate the way they treat you. We

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<v Speaker 1>have all heard the golden rule to treat others the

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<v Speaker 1>way we want to be treated, and that is truly

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<v Speaker 1>a great rule for making civilization work. But in our

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<v Speaker 1>close relationships, we are often striving for something more than

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<v Speaker 1>mere civility. We want to truly make people happy, and

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<v Speaker 1>since people like to be treated in different ways, treating

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<v Speaker 1>someone the way we want to be treated might miss

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<v Speaker 1>the mark. You might like a big fuss for your birthday,

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<v Speaker 1>but if your best friend is more low key, then

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<v Speaker 1>throwing her a big surprise party might not be quite

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<v Speaker 1>the gift you were hoping it was. It comes from

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<v Speaker 1>a good place, but still not quite right. So we

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<v Speaker 1>want to treat people the way they want to be treated.

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<v Speaker 1>But it is pretty easy to see the problem here.

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<v Speaker 1>How do we know how people want to be treated?

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<v Speaker 1>Mind Reading isn't a reliable strategy, and no matter how

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<v Speaker 1>well you know someone, you never truly know what they

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<v Speaker 1>are thinking. Fortunately, there is one easy way to treat

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<v Speaker 1>people the way they probably want to be treated. You

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<v Speaker 1>can reciprocate whatever caring or engaging behavior they show to you.

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<v Speaker 1>It doesn't take psychic powers or even a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>time to notice how I loved and interacts with others

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<v Speaker 1>if you are paying attention, and then you can make

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<v Speaker 1>an educated guess that she would like to be treated

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<v Speaker 1>that way too. For instance, if your best friend always

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<v Speaker 1>makes a point of taking you out for lunch on

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<v Speaker 1>your birthday, then she probably views this as the right

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<v Speaker 1>way to celebrate their go You should take her out

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<v Speaker 1>to lunch for her birthday. If your partner asks what

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<v Speaker 1>he can do to help when you're having a busy

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<v Speaker 1>week at work, then ask if there's anything you can

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<v Speaker 1>do for him the next time you see that he

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<v Speaker 1>is swamped. If your boss asks whether you have fun

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<v Speaker 1>plans for the upcoming weekend, reciprocate by asking whether she

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<v Speaker 1>has fun plans. There may be something she is excited

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<v Speaker 1>about and would like to share. She just doesn't want

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<v Speaker 1>to inflict the news on you without an invitation. You

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<v Speaker 1>score major points by giving that invitation. If someone has

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<v Speaker 1>told you how they like to be treated wonderful, it

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<v Speaker 1>goes without saying that if your spouse has specifically asked

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<v Speaker 1>for flowers for Valentine's Day, it would be a good

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<v Speaker 1>idea to get them, even if you think the holiday

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<v Speaker 1>is fake and commercial. I would also note that you

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<v Speaker 1>can help your loved ones out by specifying what matters

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<v Speaker 1>to you. You can say these things matter of factly

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<v Speaker 1>and without judgment. Sweetie, when I get stuck working late,

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<v Speaker 1>I would really appreciate if you would put the kids

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<v Speaker 1>to bed on the normal schedule instead of waiting for

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<v Speaker 1>me to do it. I promise that I will do

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<v Speaker 1>the same for you. But if none of this has

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<v Speaker 1>happened and you are not sure what your friend their

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<v Speaker 1>loved one prefers, just reciprocate. By interacting with people the

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<v Speaker 1>way they, in kindness interact with us, we are likely

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<v Speaker 1>treating them in a way they will appreciate. You don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to guess how someone wants to be treated, just

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<v Speaker 1>mirror how they treat you. In the meantime. This is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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<v Speaker 1>You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>Just connect with me. On Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast pod. That's B the number four, then Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>p o D. You can also shoot me an email

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<v Speaker 1>at Before Breakfast podcast. At i heeart media dot com

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<v Speaker 1>that before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.

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