Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is, if you're not sure how someone likes
Speaker 1: to be treated, reciprocate the way they treat you. We
Speaker 1: have all heard the golden rule to treat others the
Speaker 1: way we want to be treated, and that is truly
Speaker 1: a great rule for making civilization work. But in our
Speaker 1: close relationships, we are often striving for something more than
Speaker 1: mere civility. We want to truly make people happy, and
Speaker 1: since people like to be treated in different ways, treating
Speaker 1: someone the way we want to be treated might miss
Speaker 1: the mark. You might like a big fuss for your birthday,
Speaker 1: but if your best friend is more low key, then
Speaker 1: throwing her a big surprise party might not be quite
Speaker 1: the gift you were hoping it was. It comes from
Speaker 1: a good place, but still not quite right. So we
Speaker 1: want to treat people the way they want to be treated.
Speaker 1: But it is pretty easy to see the problem here.
Speaker 1: How do we know how people want to be treated?
Speaker 1: Mind Reading isn't a reliable strategy, and no matter how
Speaker 1: well you know someone, you never truly know what they
Speaker 1: are thinking. Fortunately, there is one easy way to treat
Speaker 1: people the way they probably want to be treated. You
Speaker 1: can reciprocate whatever caring or engaging behavior they show to you.
Speaker 1: It doesn't take psychic powers or even a lot of
Speaker 1: time to notice how I loved and interacts with others
Speaker 1: if you are paying attention, and then you can make
Speaker 1: an educated guess that she would like to be treated
Speaker 1: that way too. For instance, if your best friend always
Speaker 1: makes a point of taking you out for lunch on
Speaker 1: your birthday, then she probably views this as the right
Speaker 1: way to celebrate their go You should take her out
Speaker 1: to lunch for her birthday. If your partner asks what
Speaker 1: he can do to help when you're having a busy
Speaker 1: week at work, then ask if there's anything you can
Speaker 1: do for him the next time you see that he
Speaker 1: is swamped. If your boss asks whether you have fun
Speaker 1: plans for the upcoming weekend, reciprocate by asking whether she
Speaker 1: has fun plans. There may be something she is excited
Speaker 1: about and would like to share. She just doesn't want
Speaker 1: to inflict the news on you without an invitation. You
Speaker 1: score major points by giving that invitation. If someone has
Speaker 1: told you how they like to be treated wonderful, it
Speaker 1: goes without saying that if your spouse has specifically asked
Speaker 1: for flowers for Valentine's Day, it would be a good
Speaker 1: idea to get them, even if you think the holiday
Speaker 1: is fake and commercial. I would also note that you
Speaker 1: can help your loved ones out by specifying what matters
Speaker 1: to you. You can say these things matter of factly
Speaker 1: and without judgment. Sweetie, when I get stuck working late,
Speaker 1: I would really appreciate if you would put the kids
Speaker 1: to bed on the normal schedule instead of waiting for
Speaker 1: me to do it. I promise that I will do
Speaker 1: the same for you. But if none of this has
Speaker 1: happened and you are not sure what your friend their
Speaker 1: loved one prefers, just reciprocate. By interacting with people the
Speaker 1: way they, in kindness interact with us, we are likely
Speaker 1: treating them in a way they will appreciate. You don't
Speaker 1: have to guess how someone wants to be treated, just
Speaker 1: mirror how they treat you. In the meantime. This is Laura.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Speaker 1: Just connect with me. On Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast pod. That's B the number four, then Breakfast
Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email
Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast. At i heeart media dot com
Speaker 1: that before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For
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Speaker 1: favorite shows.