1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: Today's tip is, if you're not sure how someone likes 4 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: to be treated, reciprocate the way they treat you. We 5 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: have all heard the golden rule to treat others the 6 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: way we want to be treated, and that is truly 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: a great rule for making civilization work. But in our 8 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: close relationships, we are often striving for something more than 9 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: mere civility. We want to truly make people happy, and 10 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: since people like to be treated in different ways, treating 11 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: someone the way we want to be treated might miss 12 00:00:55,480 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: the mark. You might like a big fuss for your birthday, 13 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,400 Speaker 1: but if your best friend is more low key, then 14 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:08,559 Speaker 1: throwing her a big surprise party might not be quite 15 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: the gift you were hoping it was. It comes from 16 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: a good place, but still not quite right. So we 17 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: want to treat people the way they want to be treated. 18 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: But it is pretty easy to see the problem here. 19 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: How do we know how people want to be treated? 20 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: Mind Reading isn't a reliable strategy, and no matter how 21 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,960 Speaker 1: well you know someone, you never truly know what they 22 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: are thinking. Fortunately, there is one easy way to treat 23 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: people the way they probably want to be treated. You 24 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: can reciprocate whatever caring or engaging behavior they show to you. 25 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: It doesn't take psychic powers or even a lot of 26 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: time to notice how I loved and interacts with others 27 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: if you are paying attention, and then you can make 28 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: an educated guess that she would like to be treated 29 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: that way too. For instance, if your best friend always 30 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: makes a point of taking you out for lunch on 31 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: your birthday, then she probably views this as the right 32 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: way to celebrate their go You should take her out 33 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: to lunch for her birthday. If your partner asks what 34 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: he can do to help when you're having a busy 35 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: week at work, then ask if there's anything you can 36 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,640 Speaker 1: do for him the next time you see that he 37 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: is swamped. If your boss asks whether you have fun 38 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: plans for the upcoming weekend, reciprocate by asking whether she 39 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: has fun plans. There may be something she is excited 40 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: about and would like to share. She just doesn't want 41 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 1: to inflict the news on you without an invitation. You 42 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: score major points by giving that invitation. If someone has 43 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: told you how they like to be treated wonderful, it 44 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: goes without saying that if your spouse has specifically asked 45 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: for flowers for Valentine's Day, it would be a good 46 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,639 Speaker 1: idea to get them, even if you think the holiday 47 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: is fake and commercial. I would also note that you 48 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: can help your loved ones out by specifying what matters 49 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: to you. You can say these things matter of factly 50 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: and without judgment. Sweetie, when I get stuck working late, 51 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: I would really appreciate if you would put the kids 52 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: to bed on the normal schedule instead of waiting for 53 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: me to do it. I promise that I will do 54 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: the same for you. But if none of this has 55 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 1: happened and you are not sure what your friend their 56 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: loved one prefers, just reciprocate. By interacting with people the 57 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: way they, in kindness interact with us, we are likely 58 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: treating them in a way they will appreciate. You don't 59 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: have to guess how someone wants to be treated, just 60 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: mirror how they treat you. In the meantime. This is Laura. 61 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 62 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you. 63 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. 64 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 1: Just connect with me. On Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at 65 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast pod. That's B the number four, then Breakfast 66 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email 67 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast. At i heeart media dot com 68 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: that before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 69 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch. 70 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For 71 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i heart 72 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 73 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: favorite shows.