WEBVTT - No. 78: Ancestral Veneration + Why It's Important + How to Get Started. 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.040 Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts, 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:08.760 Friends of Kin. I found this quote on an astrology 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:13.000 account that I like to follow on Instagram called Bondi Guru. 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:17.239 But this quote was on the Bondi Guru page, but 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:22.959 it's by someone that they identify as JM Storm, and 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:27.680 I thought it was fitting since I thought it was 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.080 fitting for this episode. I'm not even going to get 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:34.680 into it yet. And it says, sometimes falling apart is 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:37.600 the way we shake loose the pieces that just don't 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:41.440 belong anymore. It's as natural as the wind and rain. 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:44.840 So cry if you need to scream if you must, 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:49.360 but never lose sight of what it really is, a 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:58.960 thunderstorm that clears the air. I love it. I love that, 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.360 and you know what, I love it because I think 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:07.880 it's a perfect way to describe grief. And I know 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:14.319 a little bit about grief, indeed I do. Let's go 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:37.560 ahead and uh, get this poorty stored in. I can't 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:41.240 see the path that. Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome to 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:44.480 him and my personal podcast. I am Mimi Walker, and 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:47.039 I'm gonna be your forever host each and every single 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:50.200 time you tune into this podcast, So go ahead and 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:54.400 get comfortable, get yourself a glass of your favorite beverage, 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:58.920 whether that's blueberry lemonade seltzer, which I found one by 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:06.280 a brand and it's absolutely delightful, or some hot apple 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:10.520 cider because it's still cold and hot apple cider makes 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:16.720 us feel good. Or a tall frosted glass of pale Ale, 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:21.360 my favorite kind of beer to sip on. After that, 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:24.000 go ahead and light yourself a candle, some incense or 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:27.600 burn some stage and just get ready to chill out 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:41.119 and have yourself a good time. What's up friends in Ken? 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:44.400 It's me me, Resident Auntie Supreme, here at hand, me 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:49.280 my purse, the podcast, and today I am sipping on 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:54.600 a hot cup of green tea with Moroccan mint tea. 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:58.840 I'm a fan of mint tea, particularly Moroccan mint tea. 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:04.000 And this year I have vowed to myself to be 0:03:04.080 --> 0:03:09.400 more disciplined about getting back to drinking more green tea 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:14.360 and water consistently, because those two things are the bevies 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:18.400 that are gonna heal my body, okay, and I owe 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.440 it to my body to be more mindful about what 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:25.040 I'm drinking or putting into it. So green tea is 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:28.120 what is going down today with some irocan mint tea. 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:32.119 That's what I'm drinking today, friends again, and I want 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:45.720 to know what are you sipping on? Tell me? Oh yeah. 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:50.640 So for today's gam it is a song I think 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:54.280 I've mentioned before. One of the artists I've definitely mentioned before, 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:56.920 and I told you that she is one of my 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:03.600 favorite artists. But the song is by a woman called Geminil. 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:07.080 I'm sure that's some kind of play on Gemini and 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:11.360 the word el, which is a girl or not girl 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:15.960 she I think in French, but anyway, maybe she's says 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:19.200 she a Gemini, but it's gem and l plus my 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:28.719 absolute faves who happens to be named em on Europe. 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:36.520 One of her songs was the Jam a couple months ago. 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:40.360 And then there's also a dude on here named fat 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:48.880 Ron and the song is called Divine Assignment. Okay, And 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:56.120 in the song there is a prayer and I happened 0:04:56.120 --> 0:05:00.599 to and being intentional, I wrote the prayer down. But 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:03.880 the song is so inspirational. It's one of those like 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:11.359 Mantra inspirational affirmation type songs, which Ammon Europe is definitely 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:15.200 known for. But this song is a bop. So not 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:19.680 only is it inspirational and it's good for you, it 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:27.480 makes you feel good, but it also sounds amazing, sounds amazing, 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:32.800 feels amazing, and it is a way to be very intentional. 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:37.200 And I'm a fan of that. So there's a prayer. 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:40.400 Hold on, I'm going to read it to you. Okay, 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:44.120 let's get into it. And what I'm reading is an 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:48.000 actual prayer in the song, and this is Emmon Europe's part, 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:50.320 so of course I would like it. But it says, 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:54.240 Dear Lord, thank you for the love from above and 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:56.880 the purpose that you placed on me. Thank you for 0:05:56.920 --> 0:06:00.760 the gifts. In the midst of the shifts, I can 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.960 still feel your presence on me. I'm praying for the 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:06.440 strength and the courage and the wisdom to birth which 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:09.680 you placed in me. You trust me with assignments. I'm 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:12.400 walking in alignment. You're bringing out the best in me. 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:16.080 If it's for me, let it stay. If it's not, 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.960 I let it go. If it's gonna get in my way, 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.480 I don't want that no more. If I'm blind, and 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:25.520 help me to see if I'm wrong, then help me grow. 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:29.400 Take your time with me. I only want what you 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:33.919 want Chah when I tell you that, I can already 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:36.120 tell you on the front end that when I get 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:42.039 my Spotify unwrapped for twenty twenty four, this is going 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:46.440 to be in the top five. I love it. I 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:50.320 love it. It sounds good, it makes me happy, it 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:52.479 makes me feel warm. You know what. It feels like 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:58.120 a hug from the inside out, Like something is inside 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:01.920 of me and it's hugging me and holding me. It's 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:04.920 so inspirational, and it really makes you think. You know, 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:09.479 God placed a divine assignment in me and on me, 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:14.560 and it is my job as a human on this 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:19.240 planet to fulfill my destiny. So I need to get 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:21.280 to it no matter what, by any means necessary. I 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:23.840 got to figure out how to get on the divine 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:30.040 path that God has carved out for me, specifically, not 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:35.280 pacifically specifically. I hope you enjoyed the song. It's amazing. 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.840 The whole album that its on is amazing. But this 0:07:38.960 --> 0:08:05.880 song is a bop and a prayer. Amen. So today, 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:09.720 friends and ken, in honor of my grands parents, I'm 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:13.280 coming out the gate saying stuff wrong. I'm so tired. 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.000 I don't know why. All of a sudden, I just 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:19.040 get really sleepy, but I am going to get focused 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:23.920 for you guys anyway, Like I was saying in honor 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:28.600 of my grandparents' transition from this realm or from this 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:32.200 earth back in twenty twenty and then last year in 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:35.040 twenty twenty one, I want to talk a little bit 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:43.640 about ancestral veneration or honoring our ancestors or our ancestral lineage. 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:47.640 So ancestral veneration, which going forward I will refer to 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:51.640 as honoring ancestors or earning your ancestors, my ancestors, whatever. 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:56.679 It's a cultural practice where individuals honor and pay respect 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:03.800 to their ancestors. Real simple it off involves rituals making 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:08.800 or giving offerings and ceremonies to connect with and express 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:12.959 gratitude toward those who came before us. And this tradition 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:17.720 is found in many, many, many, many cultures in societies 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:22.839 across the world, and they show up in various forms, 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:28.679 and they hold significance in understanding your heritage and your 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:32.920 cultural identity. It's rooted in the belief that we should 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:38.000 be maintaining a connection with and showing respect to the 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:42.920 people that were here before us that made our lives 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:50.160 so for us Okay. Again, it's rooted in the belief 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:54.000 that we should be maintaining a connection with and showing 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:58.480 deep respect to the ones who came before us, that 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:03.000 were here and that actually made it and made it 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:08.480 so for us. A few examples of different cultures that 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:15.240 practice honoring their ancestors is Chinese are excuse me, there's 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:19.800 Chinese ancestor worship and what they do is they make 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:24.280 offerings of foods, different incense and other items at their 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:29.800 own ancestral altars. And what's an altar? You say, google 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:36.040 it please. Ancestor worship is often performed during specific occasions 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:42.000 and festivals. Then there's a Japanese Obohm festival right in Japan. 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:46.520 The Obam festival is a time when families honor their ancestors. 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:52.559 They clean graves, light lanterns, and make offerings at home alters. 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:57.640 It is believed that ancestral spirits return during this festival. 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:06.280 Mexico you have Dia delos Mouertos Dia delos Mouertos, which 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:08.320 means Day of the Dad. I know you've seen the 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:15.520 sugar skull drawings, especially around Halloween and single Demayo, which 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:20.720 is a man made, a man crafted holiday that kids 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:25.360 don't nor adults really need to be celebrating. But they 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:29.839 have Dia delos Moritos and it's celebrated in Mexico. And 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:34.480 this holiday honors your deceased loved ones, and families create 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:40.599 what's called oriandas, which is altars adorned with pictures, candles, 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:44.840 and favorite foods of the departed ones to welcome their 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:54.240 spirits back in. There's also Ghanaian, and or There's so many. 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:57.600 I don't know much about other cultures as far as 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:02.640 this is concerned, but I know in Africa a lot 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:08.560 of countries and cultures engage in ancestral veneration, lots of them. 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:12.040 But for what I was looking for when I was reading, 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:17.160 this is what I found. Gunan ancestor veneration consists of 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:22.000 pouring libations as a form of communication with your ancestors, 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:28.280 and this is done during ceremonies, rights, or family gatherings. Lastly, 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:32.559 ancestor veneration is also really deeply rooted as a practice 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:36.959 among many American Indian tribes. I prefer to say Native 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:41.960 American cultures before their gatherings, which could be a tribal 0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:47.840 meeting of powwow or sweat lodge ceremony. Offerings made of 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:55.240 sage or cedar are presented with prayers and honoring your ancestors, 0:12:55.280 --> 0:13:01.120 asking them for blessings, and also asking for guidance from 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:05.160 your ancestors. That's another important one, not just about blessings 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:15.000 but asking for guidance. So it's interesting that these practices 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:20.480 all demonstrate so many diverse ways in which different cultures 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:27.920 express respect and maintain connections with their ancestors. And that's important, 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:31.160 and it's important for so many reasons. One is important 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:38.640 for your cultural identity and cestral wow. Ancestral veneration reinforces 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:45.760 cultural identity. It connects individuals to their roots, traditions, and heritage, 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:52.040 and it helps preserve, excuse me, and pass down cultural values, 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:59.960 cultural norms, customs, and even just wisdom through generations. Right recipes, 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:06.079 these ways to dress, ways to wear your hair, smells 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:10.319 or fragrances, to keep in the family, so many things. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:15.400 It gives you a glimpse into how your ancestors lived. 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.120 It also gives you a sense of belonging because it 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:23.760 helps you recognize and honor your ancestors, which helps you 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:29.040 to foster a sense of belonging and continuity. It provides 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:35.440 us with historical contacts so that we have a reference point, 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:41.000 and it connects us to a broader community in a 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:46.000 shared past, bigger than our immediate or even extended family. 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:52.960 It also teaches us gratitude and respect. Ancestral veneration is 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:57.320 a way of expressing gratitude and respect for the sacrifices, 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:01.840 all of the wisdom, the contribution, you know, and just 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:09.360 the downright existence of those who came before us. It 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:16.920 acknowledges the foundation that they laid for us. And I know, 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.920 for me, this part is really really big for me 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:23.720 because I want the people who came before me to 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:29.640 know how grateful I am for them, and I want 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.000 them to know that. I always talk about on this 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:37.680 show that for the black community, Like, I don't know 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.200 if we take enough time to sit in the fact 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:43.840 that we are descendants of people who made it through 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:53.960 the Middle Passage. That is huge, That is so major. 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:59.640 We are the descendants of people who were kidnapped and 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:04.080 in slaved, but still they made it. They made it 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:07.800 through it. To you, the pride that I take in 0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:16.240 that I'm so proud to be a descendant of somebody 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:21.640 who made it through that, Like, that's a different kind 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.120 of perseverance and resilience, and to know that that is 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:29.080 in my blood and in my bone marrow sometimes it 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:35.760 makes me feel like I can do anything. Another way 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:39.320 that it is important is through spiritual connection. And a 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.720 lot of cultures, the belief in a spiritual connection with 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:46.960 your own ancestors is really, really, really at the forefront 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.600 of the culture. Honoring them is seen as a way 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:58.600 to seek guidance, protection, blessings, and wisdom from the spiritual realm. 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:01.160 And we're going to talk a little bit later about 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:05.480 how uh for some religions like that's frowned upon or 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:11.719 looked down on. Another one is family unity. Honoring your 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:21.719 ancestors involves creating or celebrating family rituals, traditions, gatherings, and 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:26.080 just promoting all around unity amongst your family members. It 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:32.360 reinforces and solidifies the importance of the familial bonds that 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:36.679 you share, and it encourages you, guys to have like 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:40.560 a collective sense or responsibility not just to one another, 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:43.879 not just to the kids who come after you, but 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:48.240 to the people who came before you. And it just 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.640 snatched you up sometimes. And that goes into the next one, 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:58.359 ethical and moral values. Ancestral teachings often carry some form 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:07.800 of ethical or moral lesson. By honoring our ancestors, we 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:14.760 reinforce these values that we have learned or earned rather 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:21.960 and it promotes a sense of integrity, responsibility, and a 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:28.080 moral compass within your family that is important. In my family, 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:32.280 we talk a lot about how we won't let like, 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:38.879 we're not gonna let another one be down bad, like 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:43.280 if somebody was like down on their luck and like 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:47.879 had nowhere to live. No, no, no, no, no no, you 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:52.280 ain't doing that on our watch. We help each other out. 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:58.639 And my elders always talk about how my great grandmother Mary, 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:03.960 may she rest peacefully basically used to say, CMB, we 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:07.560 all we got like we all we got so, y'all 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:11.920 gonna stick together. Y'all gonna fight together, y'all gonna love together, 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:14.399 y'all gonna be together. Y'all gonna go on vacations together. 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:18.320 Y'all gonna have holidays together. Y'all are gonna be close. 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:22.800 Like it was overly reinforced in our family that you 0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:27.840 will be close, and as a result, we're hell fucking close. 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:39.400 We is together. We are together. I'm never alone. I'm 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:43.480 never alone. I have My family is always there, whether 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:47.480 they are far away from me in California, in Atlanta 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:52.520 and North Carolina, or they are very close to me 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:58.240 right in Baltimore, DC or one of the surrounding counties. 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:05.680 We is together. Another way or another way that it's 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:10.600 really important is it helps to continue on traditions. That 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:17.600 continuity of traditions is important because by honoring your ancestors, 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:22.919 of the people who came before you, you ensure the 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:28.840 continuation of the traditions that they created. And that helps 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:33.679 us to prevent the loss of cultural practices because that 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:38.080 happens a lot. It happens a lot. It helps to 0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:42.159 maintain a sense of continuity in the face of times 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:48.600 that are changing, in the face of adversity. It's so important, 0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:56.360 so important. Ancestral veneration or honoring your ancestors serves as 0:20:56.400 --> 0:21:02.359 a bridge between what happened before, what's happening now, and 0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:06.879 what's going to happen tomorrow, and it helps to cultivate 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:10.840 a really deep sense of like I said, cultural, familial, 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:17.120 and personal, that personal continuity, keeping it going, keeping it going, 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:21.800 because one day we're going to be ancestors. And I 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:24.960 pray that the work that I do here on earth, 0:21:25.880 --> 0:21:35.720 is respected, is honored, and continued. Something as simple as 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:46.239 me planning my family's reunion. That's come on, ma'am. That 0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:52.239 was a way of me honoring my ancestors, particularly my 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:59.720 great grandmother's on my father's side. Listen when I tell 0:21:59.720 --> 0:22:07.199 you together, even not opposite or opposing sides, but my 0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:11.640 father's mother and my father's father's family, they was together too. 0:22:11.880 --> 0:22:14.520 They would come together. My two great grandmothers used to 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:18.239 go on vacations together and spend time together, and they 0:22:18.240 --> 0:22:22.320 were like night and day, night and day. One was 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:26.320 a spicy she was ajvegnetto pepper, and the other one 0:22:26.440 --> 0:22:33.919 was as cool and calm as ice. But they was together. 0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:38.240 And I like to believe that they were honoring their 0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:45.560 ancestors by teaching my grandparents that you keep your families 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:49.320 together and you keep them close. And as a result, 0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:52.520 because I spent a lot of time with my grandparents, 0:22:54.240 --> 0:22:58.239 I learned it. And so as a result, when it 0:22:58.280 --> 0:23:02.320 was time and I got old enough, I took up 0:23:02.320 --> 0:23:06.040 the reins of planning our family reunions. Because we're gonna 0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:10.720 stay together. We're gonna be together, and we're gonna stay together. 0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:17.280 And you spell that da ge v a together. What's 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:26.440 I just dit? Ye? So anyway, it's important to do this, 0:23:28.680 --> 0:23:32.960 and I've really been thinking about it because I'm coming 0:23:33.040 --> 0:23:39.920 up on the anniversaries of both of my grandparents transition right, 0:23:40.720 --> 0:23:45.359 it's two days apart, my grandpa and my grandma, and 0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:49.080 so i've been thinking. If you can think back a 0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:51.560 couple of months ago, I had Gina from the Bedroom 0:23:51.600 --> 0:23:54.760 Bartender Bartender on the show, and we talked a little 0:23:54.800 --> 0:23:58.240 bit about this, and I just asked her for some 0:23:58.400 --> 0:24:01.720 help in what are some ways that I can start 0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:04.560 doing this? And we talked a little bit about it 0:24:04.920 --> 0:24:07.159 about it. Excuse me, I want to say that was 0:24:07.280 --> 0:24:16.400 episode maybe seventy two or seventy three, And if it's 0:24:16.400 --> 0:24:19.520 not seventy two or seventy three, it's seventy one. Excuse 0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:24.119 my voice. It's a little like scratchy. I don't know 0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:27.320 what that's about, because I'm drinking tea. The tea is 0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:32.320 cold now all so I don't know. I do know. 0:24:33.359 --> 0:24:36.320 We had a basketball game to day and I went 0:24:36.359 --> 0:24:38.600 with my girls, of course, because they can't go by 0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:42.280 without me. But I was screaming because my team, the 0:24:43.640 --> 0:24:47.240 basketball team for my school, they did not win, but 0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:53.800 they fought hard. They were down twenty four and by 0:24:53.800 --> 0:24:56.320 the end of the game they closed the gap and 0:24:56.400 --> 0:25:00.879 they lost by seven. Shout out to the varsity boys 0:25:00.920 --> 0:25:07.680 basketball team at my school. Hard work and perseverance, it 0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:10.240 always pays off. You may not have won this one, 0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:26.240 but that hustle might be the key to your next one. 0:25:31.400 --> 0:25:37.679 Back to my ancestors, So I'm trying to find ways 0:25:38.000 --> 0:25:42.639 to honor my grandmother and my grandfather. And I remember 0:25:42.680 --> 0:25:46.040 when my grandfather first passed away four years ago. My 0:25:46.160 --> 0:25:48.119 therapist I was just starting to work with her, and 0:25:48.200 --> 0:25:52.320 she said three years ago. He passed away four years ago. 0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:55.639 But the first anniversary of his death, I was like, 0:25:55.920 --> 0:26:00.000 this is too much. I cannot handle it. And traditionally, 0:26:00.920 --> 0:26:05.440 let me just say this, I feel like Black people historically, 0:26:06.080 --> 0:26:10.280 like there's too much fucking prompt and circumstance around death. 0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:14.879 And I don't think that people realize how traumatizing it 0:26:14.960 --> 0:26:19.840 is and re traumatizing it is, but there's a lot 0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:24.760 of pomp and circumstance around it. Anyway, I went to 0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:28.679 his gravesite that first year, because you know, that's what 0:26:28.720 --> 0:26:31.040 they tell us we should do or what that's important 0:26:31.040 --> 0:26:38.240 to do. Blah blah blah, and it was so emotionally depleting. 0:26:39.720 --> 0:26:42.000 I talked to her and I was like, I cannot 0:26:42.000 --> 0:26:46.760 do that ever again. My mind, my soul, in my 0:26:46.800 --> 0:26:50.280 body has not been a cut up. Excuse me for that. 0:26:50.720 --> 0:26:52.520 And she said, you don't have to ever do that 0:26:52.560 --> 0:26:54.480 ever again. You don't have to go if you don't 0:26:54.480 --> 0:26:57.080 want to. And I was like, I don't want to. 0:27:00.000 --> 0:27:03.879 Sometimes I do go, especially if you know my cousin 0:27:03.960 --> 0:27:06.000 is in town. My cousin Randall likes to go when 0:27:06.040 --> 0:27:09.919 he comes to town. And I take my grandfather a 0:27:09.960 --> 0:27:14.320 coke zero, and I take his favorite potato chips and 0:27:14.359 --> 0:27:17.200 I leave some of them on his He was a veteran, 0:27:17.320 --> 0:27:21.200 so I leave them on his headstone and I pour 0:27:21.440 --> 0:27:30.359 out some coke zero. And that's what I do. But 0:27:30.400 --> 0:27:33.399 I don't go often, and I'm not gonna start going often. 0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:38.120 I haven't even visited my grandmother's gravesite yet. I can 0:27:38.160 --> 0:27:41.240 tell you right now, SIS ain't ready for that. Nope, 0:27:41.640 --> 0:27:44.440 not at all, not ready. And I don't know if 0:27:44.440 --> 0:27:48.920 I'm ever gonna be ready. I say what I said, No, 0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:52.879 that one might be too much for me, or it 0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:55.000 is right now? One year later is still too much 0:27:55.040 --> 0:28:01.240 for me, but that's what I do sometimes for my grandfather. 0:28:01.600 --> 0:28:03.800 But my therapist told me something that was really important. 0:28:03.840 --> 0:28:08.960 She said, find a way to celebrate them that also 0:28:09.080 --> 0:28:12.040 makes you feel good, whether they're singing their favorite song, 0:28:12.320 --> 0:28:20.840 or eating their favorite meal, wearing their favorite color, something 0:28:20.880 --> 0:28:24.440 to that effect, drinking their favorite drink, getting some ice 0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:27.440 cream that they like. And so I try to do that. 0:28:30.840 --> 0:28:32.560 I don't really know how I'm going to tackle this 0:28:32.680 --> 0:28:38.280 grandma thing, but I'm going to figure it out. I 0:28:38.320 --> 0:28:41.520 figured my grandfather out, so I figure I'll figure my 0:28:41.560 --> 0:28:46.800 grandmother out. It's not it'll work. I do want to 0:28:46.840 --> 0:28:51.120 say that it's interesting that some religions see the practice 0:28:51.160 --> 0:28:57.320 of honoring your ancestors as evil work or they believe 0:28:57.360 --> 0:29:03.160 it goes against what they've been taught in their religion. 0:29:03.640 --> 0:29:08.680 And to that, I say, it's silly, That's what I say. 0:29:10.200 --> 0:29:12.520 And I read online about this pastor of a church 0:29:13.240 --> 0:29:17.880 that introduced ancestral veneration to his congregation, and here's what 0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:21.200 he had to say about it. Before every worship service 0:29:21.240 --> 0:29:25.720 and meeting. He said, ancestors are honored and symbolically called 0:29:25.880 --> 0:29:31.160 forth through a ritual pouring of libations. That's essentially what 0:29:31.200 --> 0:29:33.560 I do when I visit my grandfather and I poured 0:29:33.560 --> 0:29:39.200 out that coke zero. It's the ritual of pouring libations. 0:29:40.360 --> 0:29:45.080 The ritual involves pouring water a symbol of the infinity 0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:49.760 of life, on a plant representing Mother Earth, to honor 0:29:49.800 --> 0:29:56.040 ancestors starting from the first God. Or he used another word, 0:29:56.080 --> 0:29:59.480 which is the African word for God. But that's so broad. 0:29:59.560 --> 0:30:02.360 What the hell do they mean the African word for God. 0:30:02.360 --> 0:30:05.959 They're fifty four countries in Africa, and in those countries 0:30:06.000 --> 0:30:14.200 there are all different fucking cultures and ethnic groups or 0:30:14.280 --> 0:30:19.040 as colonizers say, tribes and villages. What do you mean 0:30:19.040 --> 0:30:23.840 it's an African word for God. But anyway to the 0:30:23.840 --> 0:30:30.080 more immediate. So, when this pastor introduced the African ancestral rights, 0:30:31.000 --> 0:30:34.400 because that's what they're called to his church, and his 0:30:34.520 --> 0:30:38.640 church is a Christian Denomination church. Back in nineteen ninety two, 0:30:39.200 --> 0:30:42.280 he said he lost most of the five hundred members 0:30:42.280 --> 0:30:45.080 that attended the church. And then he went on to 0:30:45.120 --> 0:30:54.000 say this, which is interesting. Basically the whole place emptied out. 0:30:54.040 --> 0:30:58.680 He said, we've been so brainwashed that most upper middle 0:30:58.720 --> 0:31:03.480 class folks have not even wanted to identify with Africa. 0:31:04.160 --> 0:31:13.480 That makes me upset. Let's say, how do you not 0:31:13.600 --> 0:31:19.080 want to identify with Africa? We are Africa. Africa is us, 0:31:19.600 --> 0:31:24.440 regardless of what anybody says, regardless of what any Africans say, 0:31:25.160 --> 0:31:35.400 any Europeans say, Asians, Latinos, nobody can say anything about 0:31:36.000 --> 0:31:39.160 us and our connection with Africa because we are connected 0:31:39.160 --> 0:31:40.959 to Africa, whether we want to admit it or not. 0:31:43.160 --> 0:31:45.880 And it makes me so sad and disappointed when I 0:31:45.920 --> 0:31:47.680 hear people say things like I don't want to go 0:31:47.680 --> 0:31:54.800 to Africa. What the hell do you mean? Esh? Anyway, 0:31:56.000 --> 0:32:00.880 let's move forward honoring our ancestors. It can be a 0:32:01.000 --> 0:32:07.440 very meaningful, powerful and personal journey toward healing for us. 0:32:07.760 --> 0:32:09.480 And here are some ways that you can get started. 0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:13.520 First of all, start researching your ancestry. Learn about your 0:32:13.520 --> 0:32:17.200 family history and your ancestors. Get information about their lives, stories, 0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:20.080 how they contributed to the family, how they contributed to 0:32:20.120 --> 0:32:24.560 the world. And this research can help you understand your 0:32:24.600 --> 0:32:28.120 roots a little better. Talk to the elders and your family. 0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:33.440 They got the keys to the streets. They know everything. 0:32:34.200 --> 0:32:36.320 They know things that twenty three and me don't know. 0:32:37.520 --> 0:32:40.920 They know things that a census can't tell you, so 0:32:41.040 --> 0:32:45.800 talk to them. One of my family members, my elders, 0:32:45.800 --> 0:32:51.440 who is now an ancestor, shout out to my cousin 0:32:51.480 --> 0:32:54.520 Liz that A also called an aunt Liz, who never 0:32:54.840 --> 0:32:59.640 pronounced my first name correctly intentionally, she didn't pronounce it correctly. 0:33:00.200 --> 0:33:06.040 To my cousin Liz. She cussed like a sailor and 0:33:06.080 --> 0:33:11.080 wore big black sunglasses. And I was just like, I 0:33:11.120 --> 0:33:13.240 want to be like her when I grow up and 0:33:13.320 --> 0:33:19.200 lo and behold, I've adopted a lot of her traits, 0:33:19.240 --> 0:33:23.040 particularly the cursing one. Anyway, you can also create an 0:33:23.120 --> 0:33:27.080 ancestral altar. What does that look like? It is just 0:33:27.120 --> 0:33:29.480