Speaker 1: Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts,
Speaker 1: Friends of Kin. I found this quote on an astrology
Speaker 1: account that I like to follow on Instagram called Bondi Guru.
Speaker 1: But this quote was on the Bondi Guru page, but
Speaker 1: it's by someone that they identify as JM Storm, and
Speaker 1: I thought it was fitting since I thought it was
Speaker 1: fitting for this episode. I'm not even going to get
Speaker 1: into it yet. And it says, sometimes falling apart is
Speaker 1: the way we shake loose the pieces that just don't
Speaker 1: belong anymore. It's as natural as the wind and rain.
Speaker 1: So cry if you need to scream if you must,
Speaker 1: but never lose sight of what it really is, a
Speaker 1: thunderstorm that clears the air. I love it. I love that,
Speaker 1: and you know what, I love it because I think
Speaker 1: it's a perfect way to describe grief. And I know
Speaker 1: a little bit about grief, indeed I do. Let's go
Speaker 1: ahead and uh, get this poorty stored in. I can't
Speaker 1: see the path that. Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome to
Speaker 1: him and my personal podcast. I am Mimi Walker, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be your forever host each and every single
Speaker 1: time you tune into this podcast, So go ahead and
Speaker 1: get comfortable, get yourself a glass of your favorite beverage,
Speaker 1: whether that's blueberry lemonade seltzer, which I found one by
Speaker 1: a brand and it's absolutely delightful, or some hot apple
Speaker 1: cider because it's still cold and hot apple cider makes
Speaker 1: us feel good. Or a tall frosted glass of pale Ale,
Speaker 1: my favorite kind of beer to sip on. After that,
Speaker 1: go ahead and light yourself a candle, some incense or
Speaker 1: burn some stage and just get ready to chill out
Speaker 1: and have yourself a good time. What's up friends in Ken?
Speaker 1: It's me me, Resident Auntie Supreme, here at hand, me
Speaker 1: my purse, the podcast, and today I am sipping on
Speaker 1: a hot cup of green tea with Moroccan mint tea.
Speaker 1: I'm a fan of mint tea, particularly Moroccan mint tea.
Speaker 1: And this year I have vowed to myself to be
Speaker 1: more disciplined about getting back to drinking more green tea
Speaker 1: and water consistently, because those two things are the bevies
Speaker 1: that are gonna heal my body, okay, and I owe
Speaker 1: it to my body to be more mindful about what
Speaker 1: I'm drinking or putting into it. So green tea is
Speaker 1: what is going down today with some irocan mint tea.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm drinking today, friends again, and I want
Speaker 1: to know what are you sipping on? Tell me? Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: So for today's gam it is a song I think
Speaker 1: I've mentioned before. One of the artists I've definitely mentioned before,
Speaker 1: and I told you that she is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite artists. But the song is by a woman called Geminil.
Speaker 1: I'm sure that's some kind of play on Gemini and
Speaker 1: the word el, which is a girl or not girl
Speaker 1: she I think in French, but anyway, maybe she's says
Speaker 1: she a Gemini, but it's gem and l plus my
Speaker 1: absolute faves who happens to be named em on Europe.
Speaker 1: One of her songs was the Jam a couple months ago.
Speaker 1: And then there's also a dude on here named fat
Speaker 1: Ron and the song is called Divine Assignment. Okay, And
Speaker 1: in the song there is a prayer and I happened
Speaker 1: to and being intentional, I wrote the prayer down. But
Speaker 1: the song is so inspirational. It's one of those like
Speaker 1: Mantra inspirational affirmation type songs, which Ammon Europe is definitely
Speaker 1: known for. But this song is a bop. So not
Speaker 1: only is it inspirational and it's good for you, it
Speaker 1: makes you feel good, but it also sounds amazing, sounds amazing,
Speaker 1: feels amazing, and it is a way to be very intentional.
Speaker 1: And I'm a fan of that. So there's a prayer.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm going to read it to you. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get into it. And what I'm reading is an
Speaker 1: actual prayer in the song, and this is Emmon Europe's part,
Speaker 1: so of course I would like it. But it says,
Speaker 1: Dear Lord, thank you for the love from above and
Speaker 1: the purpose that you placed on me. Thank you for
Speaker 1: the gifts. In the midst of the shifts, I can
Speaker 1: still feel your presence on me. I'm praying for the
Speaker 1: strength and the courage and the wisdom to birth which
Speaker 1: you placed in me. You trust me with assignments. I'm
Speaker 1: walking in alignment. You're bringing out the best in me.
Speaker 1: If it's for me, let it stay. If it's not,
Speaker 1: I let it go. If it's gonna get in my way,
Speaker 1: I don't want that no more. If I'm blind, and
Speaker 1: help me to see if I'm wrong, then help me grow.
Speaker 1: Take your time with me. I only want what you
Speaker 1: want Chah when I tell you that, I can already
Speaker 1: tell you on the front end that when I get
Speaker 1: my Spotify unwrapped for twenty twenty four, this is going
Speaker 1: to be in the top five. I love it. I
Speaker 1: love it. It sounds good, it makes me happy, it
Speaker 1: makes me feel warm. You know what. It feels like
Speaker 1: a hug from the inside out, Like something is inside
Speaker 1: of me and it's hugging me and holding me. It's
Speaker 1: so inspirational, and it really makes you think. You know,
Speaker 1: God placed a divine assignment in me and on me,
Speaker 1: and it is my job as a human on this
Speaker 1: planet to fulfill my destiny. So I need to get
Speaker 1: to it no matter what, by any means necessary. I
Speaker 1: got to figure out how to get on the divine
Speaker 1: path that God has carved out for me, specifically, not
Speaker 1: pacifically specifically. I hope you enjoyed the song. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: The whole album that its on is amazing. But this
Speaker 1: song is a bop and a prayer. Amen. So today,
Speaker 1: friends and ken, in honor of my grands parents, I'm
Speaker 1: coming out the gate saying stuff wrong. I'm so tired.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. All of a sudden, I just
Speaker 1: get really sleepy, but I am going to get focused
Speaker 1: for you guys anyway, Like I was saying in honor
Speaker 1: of my grandparents' transition from this realm or from this
Speaker 1: earth back in twenty twenty and then last year in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, I want to talk a little bit
Speaker 1: about ancestral veneration or honoring our ancestors or our ancestral lineage.
Speaker 1: So ancestral veneration, which going forward I will refer to
Speaker 1: as honoring ancestors or earning your ancestors, my ancestors, whatever.
Speaker 1: It's a cultural practice where individuals honor and pay respect
Speaker 1: to their ancestors. Real simple it off involves rituals making
Speaker 1: or giving offerings and ceremonies to connect with and express
Speaker 1: gratitude toward those who came before us. And this tradition
Speaker 1: is found in many, many, many, many cultures in societies
Speaker 1: across the world, and they show up in various forms,
Speaker 1: and they hold significance in understanding your heritage and your
Speaker 1: cultural identity. It's rooted in the belief that we should
Speaker 1: be maintaining a connection with and showing respect to the
Speaker 1: people that were here before us that made our lives
Speaker 1: so for us Okay. Again, it's rooted in the belief
Speaker 1: that we should be maintaining a connection with and showing
Speaker 1: deep respect to the ones who came before us, that
Speaker 1: were here and that actually made it and made it
Speaker 1: so for us. A few examples of different cultures that
Speaker 1: practice honoring their ancestors is Chinese are excuse me, there's
Speaker 1: Chinese ancestor worship and what they do is they make
Speaker 1: offerings of foods, different incense and other items at their
Speaker 1: own ancestral altars. And what's an altar? You say, google
Speaker 1: it please. Ancestor worship is often performed during specific occasions
Speaker 1: and festivals. Then there's a Japanese Obohm festival right in Japan.
Speaker 1: The Obam festival is a time when families honor their ancestors.
Speaker 1: They clean graves, light lanterns, and make offerings at home alters.
Speaker 1: It is believed that ancestral spirits return during this festival.
Speaker 1: Mexico you have Dia delos Mouertos Dia delos Mouertos, which
Speaker 1: means Day of the Dad. I know you've seen the
Speaker 1: sugar skull drawings, especially around Halloween and single Demayo, which
Speaker 1: is a man made, a man crafted holiday that kids
Speaker 1: don't nor adults really need to be celebrating. But they
Speaker 1: have Dia delos Moritos and it's celebrated in Mexico. And
Speaker 1: this holiday honors your deceased loved ones, and families create
Speaker 1: what's called oriandas, which is altars adorned with pictures, candles,
Speaker 1: and favorite foods of the departed ones to welcome their
Speaker 1: spirits back in. There's also Ghanaian, and or There's so many.
Speaker 1: I don't know much about other cultures as far as
Speaker 1: this is concerned, but I know in Africa a lot
Speaker 1: of countries and cultures engage in ancestral veneration, lots of them.
Speaker 1: But for what I was looking for when I was reading,
Speaker 1: this is what I found. Gunan ancestor veneration consists of
Speaker 1: pouring libations as a form of communication with your ancestors,
Speaker 1: and this is done during ceremonies, rights, or family gatherings. Lastly,
Speaker 1: ancestor veneration is also really deeply rooted as a practice
Speaker 1: among many American Indian tribes. I prefer to say Native
Speaker 1: American cultures before their gatherings, which could be a tribal
Speaker 1: meeting of powwow or sweat lodge ceremony. Offerings made of
Speaker 1: sage or cedar are presented with prayers and honoring your ancestors,
Speaker 1: asking them for blessings, and also asking for guidance from
Speaker 1: your ancestors. That's another important one, not just about blessings
Speaker 1: but asking for guidance. So it's interesting that these practices
Speaker 1: all demonstrate so many diverse ways in which different cultures
Speaker 1: express respect and maintain connections with their ancestors. And that's important,
Speaker 1: and it's important for so many reasons. One is important
Speaker 1: for your cultural identity and cestral wow. Ancestral veneration reinforces
Speaker 1: cultural identity. It connects individuals to their roots, traditions, and heritage,
Speaker 1: and it helps preserve, excuse me, and pass down cultural values,
Speaker 1: cultural norms, customs, and even just wisdom through generations. Right recipes,
Speaker 1: these ways to dress, ways to wear your hair, smells
Speaker 1: or fragrances, to keep in the family, so many things.
Speaker 1: It gives you a glimpse into how your ancestors lived.
Speaker 1: It also gives you a sense of belonging because it
Speaker 1: helps you recognize and honor your ancestors, which helps you
Speaker 1: to foster a sense of belonging and continuity. It provides
Speaker 1: us with historical contacts so that we have a reference point,
Speaker 1: and it connects us to a broader community in a
Speaker 1: shared past, bigger than our immediate or even extended family.
Speaker 1: It also teaches us gratitude and respect. Ancestral veneration is
Speaker 1: a way of expressing gratitude and respect for the sacrifices,
Speaker 1: all of the wisdom, the contribution, you know, and just
Speaker 1: the downright existence of those who came before us. It
Speaker 1: acknowledges the foundation that they laid for us. And I know,
Speaker 1: for me, this part is really really big for me
Speaker 1: because I want the people who came before me to
Speaker 1: know how grateful I am for them, and I want
Speaker 1: them to know that. I always talk about on this
Speaker 1: show that for the black community, Like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if we take enough time to sit in the fact
Speaker 1: that we are descendants of people who made it through
Speaker 1: the Middle Passage. That is huge, That is so major.
Speaker 1: We are the descendants of people who were kidnapped and
Speaker 1: in slaved, but still they made it. They made it
Speaker 1: through it. To you, the pride that I take in
Speaker 1: that I'm so proud to be a descendant of somebody
Speaker 1: who made it through that, Like, that's a different kind
Speaker 1: of perseverance and resilience, and to know that that is
Speaker 1: in my blood and in my bone marrow sometimes it
Speaker 1: makes me feel like I can do anything. Another way
Speaker 1: that it is important is through spiritual connection. And a
Speaker 1: lot of cultures, the belief in a spiritual connection with
Speaker 1: your own ancestors is really, really, really at the forefront
Speaker 1: of the culture. Honoring them is seen as a way
Speaker 1: to seek guidance, protection, blessings, and wisdom from the spiritual realm.
Speaker 1: And we're going to talk a little bit later about
Speaker 1: how uh for some religions like that's frowned upon or
Speaker 1: looked down on. Another one is family unity. Honoring your
Speaker 1: ancestors involves creating or celebrating family rituals, traditions, gatherings, and
Speaker 1: just promoting all around unity amongst your family members. It
Speaker 1: reinforces and solidifies the importance of the familial bonds that
Speaker 1: you share, and it encourages you, guys to have like
Speaker 1: a collective sense or responsibility not just to one another,
Speaker 1: not just to the kids who come after you, but
Speaker 1: to the people who came before you. And it just
Speaker 1: snatched you up sometimes. And that goes into the next one,
Speaker 1: ethical and moral values. Ancestral teachings often carry some form
Speaker 1: of ethical or moral lesson. By honoring our ancestors, we
Speaker 1: reinforce these values that we have learned or earned rather
Speaker 1: and it promotes a sense of integrity, responsibility, and a
Speaker 1: moral compass within your family that is important. In my family,
Speaker 1: we talk a lot about how we won't let like,
Speaker 1: we're not gonna let another one be down bad, like
Speaker 1: if somebody was like down on their luck and like
Speaker 1: had nowhere to live. No, no, no, no, no no, you
Speaker 1: ain't doing that on our watch. We help each other out.
Speaker 1: And my elders always talk about how my great grandmother Mary,
Speaker 1: may she rest peacefully basically used to say, CMB, we
Speaker 1: all we got like we all we got so, y'all
Speaker 1: gonna stick together. Y'all gonna fight together, y'all gonna love together,
Speaker 1: y'all gonna be together. Y'all gonna go on vacations together.
Speaker 1: Y'all gonna have holidays together. Y'all are gonna be close.
Speaker 1: Like it was overly reinforced in our family that you
Speaker 1: will be close, and as a result, we're hell fucking close.
Speaker 1: We is together. We are together. I'm never alone. I'm
Speaker 1: never alone. I have My family is always there, whether
Speaker 1: they are far away from me in California, in Atlanta
Speaker 1: and North Carolina, or they are very close to me
Speaker 1: right in Baltimore, DC or one of the surrounding counties.
Speaker 1: We is together. Another way or another way that it's
Speaker 1: really important is it helps to continue on traditions. That
Speaker 1: continuity of traditions is important because by honoring your ancestors,
Speaker 1: of the people who came before you, you ensure the
Speaker 1: continuation of the traditions that they created. And that helps
Speaker 1: us to prevent the loss of cultural practices because that
Speaker 1: happens a lot. It happens a lot. It helps to
Speaker 1: maintain a sense of continuity in the face of times
Speaker 1: that are changing, in the face of adversity. It's so important,
Speaker 1: so important. Ancestral veneration or honoring your ancestors serves as
Speaker 1: a bridge between what happened before, what's happening now, and
Speaker 1: what's going to happen tomorrow, and it helps to cultivate
Speaker 1: a really deep sense of like I said, cultural, familial,
Speaker 1: and personal, that personal continuity, keeping it going, keeping it going,
Speaker 1: because one day we're going to be ancestors. And I
Speaker 1: pray that the work that I do here on earth,
Speaker 1: is respected, is honored, and continued. Something as simple as
Speaker 1: me planning my family's reunion. That's come on, ma'am. That
Speaker 1: was a way of me honoring my ancestors, particularly my
Speaker 1: great grandmother's on my father's side. Listen when I tell
Speaker 1: you together, even not opposite or opposing sides, but my
Speaker 1: father's mother and my father's father's family, they was together too.
Speaker 1: They would come together. My two great grandmothers used to
Speaker 1: go on vacations together and spend time together, and they
Speaker 1: were like night and day, night and day. One was
Speaker 1: a spicy she was ajvegnetto pepper, and the other one
Speaker 1: was as cool and calm as ice. But they was together.
Speaker 1: And I like to believe that they were honoring their
Speaker 1: ancestors by teaching my grandparents that you keep your families
Speaker 1: together and you keep them close. And as a result,
Speaker 1: because I spent a lot of time with my grandparents,
Speaker 1: I learned it. And so as a result, when it
Speaker 1: was time and I got old enough, I took up
Speaker 1: the reins of planning our family reunions. Because we're gonna
Speaker 1: stay together. We're gonna be together, and we're gonna stay together.
Speaker 1: And you spell that da ge v a together. What's
Speaker 1: I just dit? Ye? So anyway, it's important to do this,
Speaker 1: and I've really been thinking about it because I'm coming
Speaker 1: up on the anniversaries of both of my grandparents transition right,
Speaker 1: it's two days apart, my grandpa and my grandma, and
Speaker 1: so i've been thinking. If you can think back a
Speaker 1: couple of months ago, I had Gina from the Bedroom
Speaker 1: Bartender Bartender on the show, and we talked a little
Speaker 1: bit about this, and I just asked her for some
Speaker 1: help in what are some ways that I can start
Speaker 1: doing this? And we talked a little bit about it
Speaker 1: about it. Excuse me, I want to say that was
Speaker 1: episode maybe seventy two or seventy three, And if it's
Speaker 1: not seventy two or seventy three, it's seventy one. Excuse
Speaker 1: my voice. It's a little like scratchy. I don't know
Speaker 1: what that's about, because I'm drinking tea. The tea is
Speaker 1: cold now all so I don't know. I do know.
Speaker 1: We had a basketball game to day and I went
Speaker 1: with my girls, of course, because they can't go by
Speaker 1: without me. But I was screaming because my team, the
Speaker 1: basketball team for my school, they did not win, but
Speaker 1: they fought hard. They were down twenty four and by
Speaker 1: the end of the game they closed the gap and
Speaker 1: they lost by seven. Shout out to the varsity boys
Speaker 1: basketball team at my school. Hard work and perseverance, it
Speaker 1: always pays off. You may not have won this one,
Speaker 1: but that hustle might be the key to your next one.
Speaker 1: Back to my ancestors, So I'm trying to find ways
Speaker 1: to honor my grandmother and my grandfather. And I remember
Speaker 1: when my grandfather first passed away four years ago. My
Speaker 1: therapist I was just starting to work with her, and
Speaker 1: she said three years ago. He passed away four years ago.
Speaker 1: But the first anniversary of his death, I was like,
Speaker 1: this is too much. I cannot handle it. And traditionally,
Speaker 1: let me just say this, I feel like Black people historically,
Speaker 1: like there's too much fucking prompt and circumstance around death.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that people realize how traumatizing it
Speaker 1: is and re traumatizing it is, but there's a lot
Speaker 1: of pomp and circumstance around it. Anyway, I went to
Speaker 1: his gravesite that first year, because you know, that's what
Speaker 1: they tell us we should do or what that's important
Speaker 1: to do. Blah blah blah, and it was so emotionally depleting.
Speaker 1: I talked to her and I was like, I cannot
Speaker 1: do that ever again. My mind, my soul, in my
Speaker 1: body has not been a cut up. Excuse me for that.
Speaker 1: And she said, you don't have to ever do that
Speaker 1: ever again. You don't have to go if you don't
Speaker 1: want to. And I was like, I don't want to.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do go, especially if you know my cousin
Speaker 1: is in town. My cousin Randall likes to go when
Speaker 1: he comes to town. And I take my grandfather a
Speaker 1: coke zero, and I take his favorite potato chips and
Speaker 1: I leave some of them on his He was a veteran,
Speaker 1: so I leave them on his headstone and I pour
Speaker 1: out some coke zero. And that's what I do. But
Speaker 1: I don't go often, and I'm not gonna start going often.
Speaker 1: I haven't even visited my grandmother's gravesite yet. I can
Speaker 1: tell you right now, SIS ain't ready for that. Nope,
Speaker 1: not at all, not ready. And I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm ever gonna be ready. I say what I said, No,
Speaker 1: that one might be too much for me, or it
Speaker 1: is right now? One year later is still too much
Speaker 1: for me, but that's what I do sometimes for my grandfather.
Speaker 1: But my therapist told me something that was really important.
Speaker 1: She said, find a way to celebrate them that also
Speaker 1: makes you feel good, whether they're singing their favorite song,
Speaker 1: or eating their favorite meal, wearing their favorite color, something
Speaker 1: to that effect, drinking their favorite drink, getting some ice
Speaker 1: cream that they like. And so I try to do that.
Speaker 1: I don't really know how I'm going to tackle this
Speaker 1: grandma thing, but I'm going to figure it out. I
Speaker 1: figured my grandfather out, so I figure I'll figure my
Speaker 1: grandmother out. It's not it'll work. I do want to
Speaker 1: say that it's interesting that some religions see the practice
Speaker 1: of honoring your ancestors as evil work or they believe
Speaker 1: it goes against what they've been taught in their religion.
Speaker 1: And to that, I say, it's silly, That's what I say.
Speaker 1: And I read online about this pastor of a church
Speaker 1: that introduced ancestral veneration to his congregation, and here's what
Speaker 1: he had to say about it. Before every worship service
Speaker 1: and meeting. He said, ancestors are honored and symbolically called
Speaker 1: forth through a ritual pouring of libations. That's essentially what
Speaker 1: I do when I visit my grandfather and I poured
Speaker 1: out that coke zero. It's the ritual of pouring libations.
Speaker 1: The ritual involves pouring water a symbol of the infinity
Speaker 1: of life, on a plant representing Mother Earth, to honor
Speaker 1: ancestors starting from the first God. Or he used another word,
Speaker 1: which is the African word for God. But that's so broad.
Speaker 1: What the hell do they mean the African word for God.
Speaker 1: They're fifty four countries in Africa, and in those countries
Speaker 1: there are all different fucking cultures and ethnic groups or
Speaker 1: as colonizers say, tribes and villages. What do you mean
Speaker 1: it's an African word for God. But anyway to the
Speaker 1: more immediate. So, when this pastor introduced the African ancestral rights,
Speaker 1: because that's what they're called to his church, and his
Speaker 1: church is a Christian Denomination church. Back in nineteen ninety two,
Speaker 1: he said he lost most of the five hundred members
Speaker 1: that attended the church. And then he went on to
Speaker 1: say this, which is interesting. Basically the whole place emptied out.
Speaker 1: He said, we've been so brainwashed that most upper middle
Speaker 1: class folks have not even wanted to identify with Africa.
Speaker 1: That makes me upset. Let's say, how do you not
Speaker 1: want to identify with Africa? We are Africa. Africa is us,
Speaker 1: regardless of what anybody says, regardless of what any Africans say,
Speaker 1: any Europeans say, Asians, Latinos, nobody can say anything about
Speaker 1: us and our connection with Africa because we are connected
Speaker 1: to Africa, whether we want to admit it or not.
Speaker 1: And it makes me so sad and disappointed when I
Speaker 1: hear people say things like I don't want to go
Speaker 1: to Africa. What the hell do you mean? Esh? Anyway,
Speaker 1: let's move forward honoring our ancestors. It can be a
Speaker 1: very meaningful, powerful and personal journey toward healing for us.
Speaker 1: And here are some ways that you can get started.
Speaker 1: First of all, start researching your ancestry. Learn about your
Speaker 1: family history and your ancestors. Get information about their lives, stories,
Speaker 1: how they contributed to the family, how they contributed to
Speaker 1: the world. And this research can help you understand your
Speaker 1: roots a little better. Talk to the elders and your family.
Speaker 1: They got the keys to the streets. They know everything.
Speaker 1: They know things that twenty three and me don't know.
Speaker 1: They know things that a census can't tell you, so
Speaker 1: talk to them. One of my family members, my elders,
Speaker 1: who is now an ancestor, shout out to my cousin
Speaker 1: Liz that A also called an aunt Liz, who never
Speaker 1: pronounced my first name correctly intentionally, she didn't pronounce it correctly.
Speaker 1: To my cousin Liz. She cussed like a sailor and
Speaker 1: wore big black sunglasses. And I was just like, I
Speaker 1: want to be like her when I grow up and
Speaker 1: lo and behold, I've adopted a lot of her traits,
Speaker 1: particularly the cursing one. Anyway, you can also create an
Speaker 1: ancestral altar. What does that look like? It is just
Speaker 1: a dedicated space in your house or in your home
Speaker 1: where you honor your ancestors. That it could be an
Speaker 1: altar with just photos. You could have candles, items, candles
Speaker 1: on them, different items to help represent like the things
Speaker 1: that they like or their culture. It's just a focal
Speaker 1: point for honoring them. You can create it and do
Speaker 1: whatever you want with it. Another thing you can do
Speaker 1: is make offerings and rituals, and you can do that
Speaker 1: with food, flowers, and scend as a symbol of respect.
Speaker 1: You engage in rituals that feel authentic to you. Don't
Speaker 1: go doing some shit and you don't know what you're doing,
Speaker 1: because spirits are real and I'm gonna leave that right there.
Speaker 1: Don't fuck around and find out because spirits are real.
Speaker 1: Just do what feels natural, genuine, organic, and authentic to you,
Speaker 1: whether you do it regularly or you only do it
Speaker 1: on certain occasions or like holidays. The next thing is
Speaker 1: that you can visit grave sites. That's not really my ministry,
Speaker 1: but if I want to, I will, and if possible,
Speaker 1: visit the grave sites of your ancestors, clean their graves,
Speaker 1: leave flowers for them, spend some time reflecting or meditating
Speaker 1: on and around their existence when they were in this
Speaker 1: realm and on this planet. This is a very powerful
Speaker 1: way to connect with them, especially the reflection and the meditation.
Speaker 1: Also celebrate ancestral holidays, like what I talked about Diadelos Moritos.
Speaker 1: There's also a festival called the King Ming Festival. I
Speaker 1: want to say it's Vietnamese. Don't hold me to that,
Speaker 1: but some cultures have festivals dedicated to celebrating their ancestors.
Speaker 1: Learn the practices of your ancestors, find out if you
Speaker 1: can if your ancestors had specific rituals or practices, consider
Speaker 1: incorporating them into your life. And this could be anything
Speaker 1: from traditional recipes or crafts making things. But that recipe
Speaker 1: thing is real because everybody has a recipe in their
Speaker 1: family that's been handed down for eons, in decades and centuries.
Speaker 1: Here's one that I want to bring up. Black Americans
Speaker 1: don't realize that a lot of the things that we
Speaker 1: do are technically considered what's called who do now voodoo?
Speaker 1: Who do something as small as small but powerful as
Speaker 1: the New Year's tradition in Black American culture, which is
Speaker 1: on New Year's Day, you need to eat some black
Speaker 1: eyed peas and you need to eat some creams. Whether
Speaker 1: it's kale, spinach, collar greens, whatever. Most of the time
Speaker 1: it's collar greens. But if you think about it, our
Speaker 1: ancestors may not have had cali greens. They may have
Speaker 1: had kill that season, or a spinach or while dandelion greens.
Speaker 1: So whatever you get, just make sure you eat something
Speaker 1: green and leafy, and that is known to bring new prosperity,
Speaker 1: luck abundance. That is a hoodoo practice that is also
Speaker 1: an ancestral practice. It is a practice that our ancestors
Speaker 1: practiced during slavery and even after slavery, and it was
Speaker 1: passed on and passed down and passed down and passed
Speaker 1: down and passed down. And now we do it. I
Speaker 1: know I do it every year. I don't care if
Speaker 1: I gotta buy a can of black eyed piece and
Speaker 1: figure it out. I definitely did it. A few days ago.
Speaker 1: My cousin Mayson black eyed Peace. Shout out to my
Speaker 1: cousin Julia. Then black eyed peace as good as a
Speaker 1: mug sis. And I didn't cook, no CALLI greens all night,
Speaker 1: no cook, no kill all night. I had a bag
Speaker 1: of a shredded organic kill in my freezer. I took
Speaker 1: it out. I used some onions, I used a little
Speaker 1: bit of butter, and I saw tade them and that
Speaker 1: was it. And I seisoned them and it was great.
Speaker 1: They served their purpose, which was for me to do
Speaker 1: my New Year's Day ritual, which is an ancestral practice,
Speaker 1: not only to bring luck, abundance and prosperity into my
Speaker 1: life in this new year, but to honor my ancestors,
Speaker 1: because that's really what I was doing. Another thing you
Speaker 1: can do is to keep the stories of your ancestors
Speaker 1: alive by sharing them with other family members, passed the
Speaker 1: stuff down our ancestors. They didn't have typewriters, they didn't
Speaker 1: have freaking iPads, they didn't have talked to text, they
Speaker 1: didn't have laptops, they didn't have iPhones. They talk to
Speaker 1: each other. Tell the stories of your ancestors, pass down
Speaker 1: lessons and experiences and understandings and wonderings. This oral tradition
Speaker 1: helps to preserve your family history. I'm so infatuated and
Speaker 1: obsessed with learning about my family history all sides. Keep
Speaker 1: sharing the stories, and please talk to the elders in
Speaker 1: your family. And last, but not least, expressing gratitude. Take
Speaker 1: a moment on a regular basis to just express gratitude
Speaker 1: for the wonderful things in your life that have been
Speaker 1: influenced by your ancestors. Acknowledge their resilience. I already said this.
Speaker 1: I just said this. Acknowledge their resilience, their values, their morals,
Speaker 1: their contributions to your family, their contributions to society. Acknowledge
Speaker 1: that perseverance. If you are a Black American, you should
Speaker 1: express gratitude to your ancestors on a regular basis. Because
Speaker 1: they made it, It did not break them. That says
Speaker 1: so much and understanding and an open dialogue can really
Speaker 1: help to foster that understanding or the knowing in your
Speaker 1: family about the importance of ancestral veneration. Everybody may not
Speaker 1: be into it like you do. You got to ease
Speaker 1: them into a baby. You got to slow welcome because
Speaker 1: they might be like, eh, it is the devil's work,
Speaker 1: is it? Though? These are people, not even the devil's work.
Speaker 1: Shut up, you sound stupid, slow welcome. And so while
Speaker 1: some of these things may seem weird to people at first,
Speaker 1: or they may be against it because it may seem,
Speaker 1: like you know, it goes against their religious practices. You
Speaker 1: got to talk to them. Have conversations with your family,
Speaker 1: help them to understand and develop a mutual respect for
Speaker 1: different people's spiritual and cultural traditions and practices. And remember
Speaker 1: that honoring your ancestors is a personal and ever evolving process.
Speaker 1: Find the practices that are aligned with your belief system,
Speaker 1: your morals, and your preferences. Remember it should be organic
Speaker 1: and authentic, and the key is to create a connection
Speaker 1: that feels authentic and meaningful to you. Because your family
Speaker 1: might be doing something you might not be with it.
Speaker 1: Don't do nothing. If you don't want to do it.
Speaker 1: If it doesn't feel authentic, don't do it. It's really important
Speaker 1: for us to recognize the diversity of different cultural and
Speaker 1: religious practices related to ancestral veneration to avoid generalizing and
Speaker 1: sounding stupid. I'm gonna say that I hate when people
Speaker 1: say dumb stuff. It makes my ass itch when people
Speaker 1: say stupid, especially stupid stereotypical stuff about people's culture and
Speaker 1: their race and their ethnicities. Just shut up read Because
Speaker 1: every culture or religious context has its own special way
Speaker 1: of expressing respect and connection to their ancestors. So I
Speaker 1: implore you, friends and can to find ways that feel
Speaker 1: natural to you wherein you can honor your ancestors. What
Speaker 1: will you do? You might already be doing something realistically,
Speaker 1: like going to the grave site, cleaning it off, taking flowers,
Speaker 1: pouring libations. You know what you know, tupacs song, pour
Speaker 1: out a little liquor. That's ancestral veneration. That's pooring libations.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's honoring your ancestors, honoring the people that have
Speaker 1: gone on before you. It is so find something that
Speaker 1: is natural to you, and it doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: what everybody else does, because most of the people in
Speaker 1: my family go to grave sites. It ain't my jam.
Speaker 1: It takes me down and it puts me in a
Speaker 1: really dark, dark dark place. So I opt out and
Speaker 1: maybe one day I'll be ready to do it. And
Speaker 1: if I'm not, I don't feel bad about it. I
Speaker 1: don't feel guilty. You just got to do what works
Speaker 1: for you. But you need to do it. And I
Speaker 1: don't usually say make statements like that, but you need
Speaker 1: to do it because your ancestors, we owe it to them.
Speaker 1: They deserve respect. They deserve to be exalted. They deserve
Speaker 1: to be respected. They deserve to be honored and cherished
Speaker 1: because on some real shit, without them, we would not
Speaker 1: be we would not So get your life, figure out,
Speaker 1: do some research. I gave you a whole blueprint of
Speaker 1: things you can do, but do your own research because
Speaker 1: self knowledge is the best knowledge. Shout out to my
Speaker 1: father for that one. Self knowledge is the best best knowledge.
Speaker 1: Do your own research, figure out what works for you,
Speaker 1: and get to get in. I love y'all, all right, friends,
Speaker 1: and he frustrate facts. Let's get into it. I have
Speaker 1: a friend who has always had a victim's mentality. She
Speaker 1: recently went back to school and has had a difficult
Speaker 1: time in general, she just was not faring well with
Speaker 1: any of her writing classes. She would call me to
Speaker 1: vent often and I would listen, not saying much in
Speaker 1: any way of agreeing or disagreeing with her and her
Speaker 1: reasons why she wasn't doing well sidebar none of those
Speaker 1: reasons wherever her a her being accountable. Excuse me now,
Speaker 1: in light of all the current state of our country
Speaker 1: this is written with particularly over the past few years
Speaker 1: of the era excuse me, that's a hard word to say,
Speaker 1: era of Donald Duck, assuming she means Donald t. She
Speaker 1: has blamed her poor performance in her most recent class
Speaker 1: on racism because her professor is white and has talked
Speaker 1: about reporting him. Basically, this chick is just a crummy writer. Damn.
Speaker 1: She called her friend a karma writer. This chick is
Speaker 1: just a crummy writer. And I don't think it's okay
Speaker 1: to potentially risk a person's employment with a false allegation
Speaker 1: of racism. He may be a racist, but that ain't
Speaker 1: why she flunk the class. Should I say something to her?
Speaker 1: And that is from Ayisha of Richmond, Virginia. Tysha, if
Speaker 1: you listen to this show, you should already know what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, yes, you should talk to her, But two,
Speaker 1: you sound really judgy. So before you talk to her,
Speaker 1: figure out how you're going to talk to her without
Speaker 1: judging her. Because I can promise you if she's a
Speaker 1: CREMEI writer, she knows she's a Gremie writer, and if
Speaker 1: she knows she's a Gremmi writer, she doesn't feel good
Speaker 1: about being a Gremmy writer. Don't make her feel worse.
Speaker 1: But you can tell her you can walk through this
Speaker 1: with her so that in the end there's nothing for
Speaker 1: her to do but take accountability unless she blatantly and
Speaker 1: intentionally opts out of taking accountability. Ask her some open
Speaker 1: ended questions, but ultimately she's gonna do what she wants
Speaker 1: to do because she's an adult. You know the saying
Speaker 1: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't
Speaker 1: make him drink. But I definitely think you should talk
Speaker 1: to her about it, because as her friend, it's your
Speaker 1: job to hold her accountable. You can say it once
Speaker 1: and if she ain't receptive, leave it where it is.
Speaker 1: But I do think you should say something. A good
Speaker 1: friend would say something, because a good friend doesn't want
Speaker 1: her friend not taking responsibility for her fucked up writing skills.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying for today's we got to do better segment.
Speaker 1: I found a quote from an auntie who is now
Speaker 1: an ancestor, and that is Auntie Cecily Tyson, and she said, healing,
Speaker 1: as I see it is not the absence of pain. Rather,
Speaker 1: it is a gradual reduction in the ache. The lessening
Speaker 1: of that hurtally makes room for fond memories to surface.
Speaker 1: She in my business, and I like it a little
Speaker 1: bit one more time for your mind. Healing, as I
Speaker 1: see it is not the absence of pain. Rather, it
Speaker 1: is a gradual reduction in the ache. The lessening of
Speaker 1: that hurt eventually makes room for fond memories to surface.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Auntie Cecily Tyson. The first thing that
Speaker 1: I want to do is say thank you to God,
Speaker 1: because God is supreme, and I recognize and appreciate the grace, mercy,
Speaker 1: love and all around protection that God extends to me
Speaker 1: every single day of my black ass life. And I
Speaker 1: want to also say thank you to my ancestors. Thank
Speaker 1: you for surviving, thank you for thriving, thank you for staying,
Speaker 1: thank you for making it, thank you for making it
Speaker 1: through the middle. Passage because I'm telling y'all, y'all don't
Speaker 1: really sit in that. If you read the description of it,
Speaker 1: it is a wondering of mine how we made it
Speaker 1: through because it is really heavy when you read about it.
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you to you guys, to
Speaker 1: each and every one of you that have been here
Speaker 1: with me since March the first of twenty twenty day one,
Speaker 1: thank you. And I also want to say thank you
Speaker 1: to all of you who just started listening in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four or in twenty twenty three. I appreciate you too.
Speaker 1: Y'all are my people too. I'm grateful. Either way you
Speaker 1: cut it up, I'm grateful. I'm thankful for my family.
Speaker 1: I love them, thankful for my friends. My friends are
Speaker 1: really just an extension of my family. My friends are
Speaker 1: the people that I chose that I already loved because
Speaker 1: they were my friends that I have chosen to bring
Speaker 1: into my family. My friends have gone on vacations with
Speaker 1: my family. My friends that have helped me heal from
Speaker 1: traumas that was family related. Like, my friends are my family,
Speaker 1: but they're an extension of my family. They're the family
Speaker 1: that I got to actually select all of y'all, my
Speaker 1: friends and kim My supporters, and of course, most importantly
Speaker 1: the ones who listen to the show. I love y'all
Speaker 1: big time. I love y'all real band, And it's an
Speaker 1: honor and a privilege to share my time and my
Speaker 1: energy with you. Particularly if you keep coming back to
Speaker 1: listen and spend time with me and share energy with me.
Speaker 1: That's major for me and I cannot wait for the
Speaker 1: next time that we get to do this with one another.
Speaker 1: So before you go ahead and click out of this
Speaker 1: whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this show,
Speaker 1: stop what you're doing and click on a subscribe or
Speaker 1: a follow button if it's an option, then I want
Speaker 1: you to go over to Instagram and follow me at
Speaker 1: Handy My Purse Underscore podcast, and then follow me on
Speaker 1: x also known as Twitter at HMMP Underscore podcast on threads,
Speaker 1: which you can find on my Instagram profile and on
Speaker 1: Facebook just search hand Me My Purse podcast. If you
Speaker 1: listen on a streaming service or medium that allows you
Speaker 1: to do so, please rate the show, and God please
Speaker 1: place it on their hearts to leave me a review
Speaker 1: if they can. It only takes a couple of minutes. People.
Speaker 1: I love reading your reviews and sometimes I read them
Speaker 1: on the show. Also, friends and can be sure to
Speaker 1: share hand Me My Person your friends, your loved ones,
Speaker 1: and even your enemies, because the best way for people
Speaker 1: to find out about this show is by you guys
Speaker 1: telling them all about it. So tell a friend to
Speaker 1: tell a friend to tell a friend. Please submit your
Speaker 1: questions for the straight Fact segment by clicking on the
Speaker 1: link in the show notes that says submit a question
Speaker 1: for straight Facts, or click the link in my Instagram
Speaker 1: profile and look for the button that directs you to
Speaker 1: submit a question. And who knows, your question may be
Speaker 1: featured on an upcoming episode of hand Me My Purse.
Speaker 1: Also remember that show notes are always available in the
Speaker 1: episode description. Wherever you're listening to the show, be sure
Speaker 1: to take a look at the show notes because that
Speaker 1: is where I put all of the links and other
Speaker 1: information that I mentioned during the show that you may
Speaker 1: want to check out, in addition to some stuff I
Speaker 1: just want to share with you. Also, just so you know,
Speaker 1: the music for Handing My Purse is provided by none
Speaker 1: other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Last, but not least,
Speaker 1: I want to give a big old shout out to
Speaker 1: my producers that would be Evan and Taylor, and with
Speaker 1: me we are Rando Banjo and the Dirty Throats. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Rando Banjo in the Dirty Throats. I look
Speaker 1: forward to you guys, looking forward to listening to Hanmy
Speaker 1: My Purse the podcast each and every single Tuesday. And
Speaker 1: I'm out this bitch. Peace. Pray for me. Hand Me
Speaker 1: my Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts. For more
Speaker 1: shows from iHeart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.