00:00:08 Speaker 1: But I invited you here. I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, you're o presences, presents, and I already had too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 2: So how did you dare to surbey me? 00:00:47 Speaker 3: Welcome to, I said, no gift. Sign Bridger whine a girl. I hope you're doing all right. 00:00:53 Speaker 4: I hope you. 00:00:55 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:00:56 Speaker 3: I hope you got enough sleep last night. I had an interesting evening around eleven pm or so. I was just minding my own business, and then there was kind of this, you know, wailing moaning that began happening outside my home, and you know, it was a sound unlike anything I had ever heard before. Never found the source of the moaning or the whaling. But whoever that was, or whatever that was, I hope you found peace. And you know, we'll just get into the podcast. Some mysteries weren't meant to be solved. I imagine. I love our guest. I think that she's just so funny and such a sweetheart. We love Mitrochyahari, Maitra. 00:01:41 Speaker 4: Welcome to. I said, no gifts. 00:01:43 Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Maitra. You didn't hear any whaling last night, did you? 00:01:49 Speaker 2: No? But it did remind me and I forgot about this. But a couple of weeks I pushed it. Trauma pushed it out of my mind, but I did. I had a friend of orr for dinner, two friends of over for dinner, and I was so excited to host them in my backyard and I put together this whole spread. I'd like candles burning, all that kind of stuff. And the biggest raccoon that I have ever seen in my life approached us and was just standing in my driveway watching us eat. 00:02:13 Speaker 5: One of the girls was so calm, so amazing. 00:02:15 Speaker 2: She handled it so beautifully as I like really panicked and made us relocate inside. 00:02:20 Speaker 4: And did it ever move? 00:02:22 Speaker 2: Yeah? 00:02:23 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah yeah. 00:02:23 Speaker 2: It was like coming closer and closer, and it was getting stuff from the table as we were sort of moving. All the little it was like and I can't stress enough, a million little plates, just like, so many little plates, so many trips, so inconvenient. 00:02:35 Speaker 5: Because I was going for aesthetic. I wanted it to feel. 00:02:37 Speaker 3: Like, right, this was a Tapas event. It was I feel like tapas is a good uh raccoon food. Those little paws are like perfect for those tiny plates. 00:02:45 Speaker 2: It was so big. I hate a critter. I think they are so disgusting. I would I prefer like the viscerally like, I would rather be around like a snake. I would rather touch a snake than be within like a thousand miles of like a raccoon, or a possum or a square. 00:03:00 Speaker 5: I think they're so disgusting. 00:03:04 Speaker 3: I cannot do a possum. It's the scariest animal alive, ugliest. 00:03:09 Speaker 2: Little fuck that like. I mean, nasty, nasty, nasty. If I could press a button and have them all be dead. 00:03:18 Speaker 3: They are purely demonic. But I mean the thing with the possum, which i've you know, it is my big greatest fear is People have tried to calm me down by saying that they're not violent, they won't attack you. But I don't think that matters, because just the appearance feels like an assault. 00:03:37 Speaker 5: I still don't want to be near it. 00:03:39 Speaker 3: The teeth, I mean outside of a shark. You don't see a tooth like that. 00:03:44 Speaker 4: I don't know. 00:03:44 Speaker 2: Man with the gun won't shoot you, you should want to be near him, right, I still. 00:03:49 Speaker 4: Don't want to be in a library with him. 00:03:52 Speaker 3: Yeah, but with the raccoon, like, at least aesthetically, I feel like it's a very well designed animal, very cute. 00:04:00 Speaker 5: I know, just looking at the little guy. I took a bunch of pictures of him. 00:04:03 Speaker 2: He's like lurking in the shadows in the driveway, and it's like the shape. 00:04:07 Speaker 3: Is cute, right, It's kind of just a tubby little thing with these teens hands and like a nice I think the nose helps a lot when an animal has more of a snout without a nose, you know, kind of possum style. Yes, what angle about triangle like a flashy triangle. I can't deal with that, but a little like dog nose essentially. 00:04:28 Speaker 2: Yeah, there was cuteness there. But I do have this thing when I'm like freaking out. I do this in the car too, is like making conversation and like trying to reason with the thing. So it was a lot of like, don't know, you don't don't do that, don't do that, you get away. 00:04:46 Speaker 3: Well, because they are little people and we'll have them in our backyard. On occasion, my boyfriend had gone out into the backyard and there were no lights on, and as he headed back in our garage is kind of like face eye level with the person. So he came, he turned around and a raccoon was just at face level with him, and so it turns into one of those bargaining situations. It's just like I'm going to go inside. There's no harm needs to be done. But raccoons are monsters. 00:05:14 Speaker 5: They are they want to cry. Yeah, I mean. 00:05:17 Speaker 2: It also just felt like like it was so early evening even though it was dark, so it felt like outside of the like agreement. 00:05:24 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they need to be in complete shadow for this. When one comes out before night, that means that they are desperate. 00:05:34 Speaker 2: It had that energy, and I think also just it was a beautiful spread. 00:05:38 Speaker 5: It felt it felt it really you know what it was. 00:05:39 Speaker 2: I have so many my Instagram explore pages all like babies and like that. I had to eat before and after and then like like a messy table of like candles and little bowls, and I felt like I really did that wasn't let me have it? 00:05:56 Speaker 4: What sort of food had you made? 00:05:58 Speaker 2: I had made like a bunch of little cakes and then like a bunch of little veggies and I don't know, like snacky stuff. 00:06:04 Speaker 3: Wow, this is a real raccoon tea party. Then you were begging for this. 00:06:09 Speaker 5: I know it was me. What was she wearing? 00:06:15 Speaker 2: Oh? Gee string? 00:06:20 Speaker 4: Yeah? 00:06:21 Speaker 3: I don't do well with wildlife when it kind of encroaches on suburban territory. But what are you going to do? I would like to know what that moaning was. It was one of those moments where I thought, for a brief second, maybe my neighbors are you know, they've just been murdered. This is like a moaning. But then you don't want to bother, you don't want a text or you two have you been attacked? 00:06:44 Speaker 2: So this is exactly. 00:06:46 Speaker 5: What they talk about in all the documentaries. This is exactly it. 00:06:50 Speaker 3: It's exactly I kept picturing kind of a Manson esque scene happening over there, and suddenly but I can't be responsible. 00:06:58 Speaker 5: Well you're not responsible, you're just well, difference of opinion, you're just complicit. 00:07:08 Speaker 3: Completely complicent. I saw some people with weapons. I pointed them into towards the neighbor's house, and then just kind of played my video game until the killing was done. 00:07:19 Speaker 2: It's Peter Parker, it's a Peter Parker vibe. So someone very close to you will. 00:07:23 Speaker 3: Fall and then I will you know, become my own little spider Man. I mean the world's ready for a gay spider man. I think ouray thirty sper does Marvel dare that's the question. I don't think they do. Prove me wrong, Marvel, Kevin fig come knocking, Let's see a homo spider Man. 00:07:49 Speaker 4: I'm ready. I'm ready to throw. 00:07:51 Speaker 2: On the I deleted Twitter. I want to come back on Twitter full force. It's one of those people who's like, Marvel's not ready for like an ugly Middle Eastern. 00:07:59 Speaker 5: Girl to play the Batman? 00:08:01 Speaker 2: Are you one thousand retweets? If we think Marvel is ready, fully it is DC. 00:08:07 Speaker 3: But whatever, Well, look I think and that's the next level. Is Marvel ready to merge with DC to put us in their universes? I think the only universe big enough for the two of us is a combined Marvel DC. I will say, Look, we'll get into this a little bit later. But I saw you yesterday, and look, there was a recommendation to see the Batman movie. So I went and saw it at eleven am. 00:08:35 Speaker 2: You did, I hope? 00:08:36 Speaker 3: I god waiting for one normal real life person to say it was good. 00:08:40 Speaker 2: Did you have fun it was fine, Sure, they recommended it. 00:08:48 Speaker 3: No, did you do not put this on your boyfriend. This was a full throated recommendation from Metra. You begged me to see Batman. 00:08:57 Speaker 2: Please please see it at eleven am? 00:09:00 Speaker 5: So normal. 00:09:06 Speaker 3: Look, I had nothing else to do with my day, and I thought I need to add some little, you know, texture to my life. Why not go to the Americana at eleven am. 00:09:14 Speaker 5: That's so weird to see it at eleven. 00:09:17 Speaker 3: It's not a movie you should see midday. You should probably go at night, right night, because it's so dark. It's almost pitch black the entire movie. 00:09:26 Speaker 5: That's crazy that. 00:09:30 Speaker 4: I drag my boyfriend. 00:09:32 Speaker 3: I didn't mention to him that it was going to be almost three hours long, like an hour and a half, and it's like, how long is this movie? And I played a little dumb and I said, you know, I think maybe two and a half hours, knowing that it was even longer than that. 00:09:43 Speaker 5: When it goes past two and a half, that is not okay. 00:09:47 Speaker 3: When it goes past ninety minutes, Every minute past ninety minutes for me, is a mark against the movie. 00:09:53 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm even I'm even willing to give like a big, big, like weekend that it opened. 00:10:00 Speaker 5: I have enough energy to get through two hours. 00:10:01 Speaker 2: If it's like if it's like that where it's like it's opening weekend, I can do that. 00:10:05 Speaker 5: Because I was like with the group, I was having the time of my life. And then by the time was the last hour, I was like looking at my watch. But I had fun. 00:10:14 Speaker 4: You had a good time. 00:10:15 Speaker 5: Everyone was being so hot. 00:10:16 Speaker 4: How everyone is doing their very hottest work. 00:10:20 Speaker 2: I was so horny every time every single one of those little little outfits they put Zoe kravitzon. I was imagining having like, there's this one shot of her and she's wearing like a latex tank top or leather I don't remember matching material leather pants, and the only thing showing is the tiniest little sliver of her mid drip. And I was just like, if someone asked me to wear that, I would I don't know self harm. 00:10:49 Speaker 3: You would throw yourself into it. Listen, DC is listening to us right now. They need to know that you're ready to wear any costume. 00:10:56 Speaker 2: I'll wear it. No. 00:11:00 Speaker 3: Everyone looked great. Colin Farrell looked gorgeous. 00:11:04 Speaker 5: Why make him do that? 00:11:07 Speaker 3: He had to look like a penguin in some way. That was the only they call him the penguin. The movie makes no other explanation other than like this guy kind of looks weird. 00:11:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, and they have him like walk funny. At one point when he was tied up. I was like, ah, penguin. 00:11:23 Speaker 3: I will say I realized a few hours after the movie. It's like that movie had so much to do with the club. They go back to the club over and over. They're just talking about the club. They're going to the club. Batman, Bruce Wayne, He's showing up in both costume and out of costume. I didn't expect it to be that club centric. 00:11:45 Speaker 5: Me neither. 00:11:46 Speaker 2: I'll say I love Robert Pattinson in his little makeup when he's got the when he's got the mask off and he's got movie You're a Emo eyeliner on. When he has the makeup off and he's fresh faced. I'm not into it in this movie that the hair is too dark for his skin tone, imo, But when he's got his little makeup on, his dirty little. 00:12:06 Speaker 3: Hair, it's like a post gym Batman. We love to see Batman. You know, he's just gotten out of his costume. He's kind of looks like he's in the cure or something. 00:12:18 Speaker 2: I loved it. Yeah, it looks like he stinks. It absolutely reeks. 00:12:23 Speaker 3: He's been flying around in that kind of puffy suit, which was an interesting moment in the movie. Look, it was three hours. I felt very little emotion. Sure, but you know, I haven't been to the movies that much in the last two years, so I tried to soak it in. I should have taken a jacket. I was so cold. 00:12:41 Speaker 5: I'm sorry. 00:12:43 Speaker 2: I came like full. I feel like something has happened in the Pandemic where I've sort of moved to the next level of movie watcher, where I had like I was in pajamas. I brought like a weed soft drink with me. I curled up. I brought a little big, blankety scarf. 00:13:00 Speaker 5: I was like laying down in that beat. 00:13:02 Speaker 4: How did you stay awake? 00:13:04 Speaker 5: I don't know. 00:13:04 Speaker 2: I think I was just so hyped on, like being in a movie theater, seeing like an opening weekend movie. But even then I was like enough, Like once they're like in the jail or whatever, I. 00:13:18 Speaker 5: Was like, shut up, like I don't care that you're an orphan. 00:13:22 Speaker 3: Wrap it up, Come on, I also felt like what are what are we even saving here? Gotham City looks like garbage. Everyone's unhappy. What is there to lose at this point? 00:13:34 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like ultimately an ode to like law enforcement. 00:13:38 Speaker 3: That's always a tricky thing with Batman. It's like, so you're beating up people who are like graffeiting and trash. 00:13:44 Speaker 4: Who cares leave him alone? 00:13:46 Speaker 2: Right, Like that whole opening montage where it's like this guy is like spray painting a pillar and he's like, like, you better run. 00:13:54 Speaker 3: They focus on that moment like he is killing a family. It's like this guy is just tagging a wall. 00:14:00 Speaker 2: Who cares? 00:14:02 Speaker 5: Who cares? 00:14:03 Speaker 2: He should be like, I'm like, I want to see that guy be like, yeah, Batman's out, I can do all my cool stuff. 00:14:11 Speaker 3: He's cool with this. Yeah. Confusing message, but ultimately just another time at the movies. What can we say? We'd love to go to the movies. I will say I mean I could never take a blanket or wear pajamas to the movies because falling asleep in a movie theater is for me maybe the best feeling in the world. I imagine that's what Heroin feels like. It's just intoxicating, so to like tempt myself with a blanket. 00:14:42 Speaker 2: I welcome it. I couldn't do it the other I fell asleep. 00:14:45 Speaker 5: One of my favorite. 00:14:46 Speaker 2: Movie going experiences, truly, Wit made me go, made me. 00:14:51 Speaker 5: I chose to go, but it was his request. 00:14:55 Speaker 2: Made me. He we want to see the Avengers, and it's that's another three hour movie, the Endgame, the Endgame, Avengers Endgame, and and I felt. I watched the first hour, fell asleep for the second hour, and then woke up for the final battle sequence and I was like fuck, yeah, like this is a this is It was perfect because I got like enough information. I was like, all right, they're gonna do the Endgame. And I fell asleep. 00:15:25 Speaker 5: Then I woke up. 00:15:26 Speaker 2: Everybody like the it's the longest, most amazing battle sequence. 00:15:30 Speaker 5: I was still. 00:15:30 Speaker 2: Cried when all like all the when they had like the girl power moment and all the girlies are fighting together, I cried. 00:15:39 Speaker 3: Your body is kind of a natural editor. It knew where to cut the movie, Like where Disney couldn't control itself, your body stepped in. 00:15:47 Speaker 2: Yes, I love that. 00:15:49 Speaker 3: That's actually not a bad idea, just said an alarm like an hour in I'll wake up in an hour and there'll be like thirty minutes of CGI fighting. 00:15:57 Speaker 5: Yeah, it was. Then I cannot right enough. If you haven't seen end Game. 00:16:02 Speaker 3: In the middle, I haven't. Maybe that's maybe that's what's been holding me back. Just needing a sleep plan. It's like camping out. What else is going on in your life? 00:16:13 Speaker 5: Oh my god, so so much cool stuff. 00:16:19 Speaker 3: Unpack as many cool things as possible. I need to hear something cool. 00:16:23 Speaker 2: I've been playing soccer like four days a week. That has been like, my is that a Starbucks cup? It is? 00:16:28 Speaker 5: Yes, I've been going to Starbucks so I love Starbucks? 00:16:35 Speaker 1: Is that true? 00:16:36 Speaker 5: Yes, I've been going so much. 00:16:38 Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. It's like I think I'm just like I've been so depressed, and it just feels like you and me both like I can get out of the house and do that right and then b it's like just these fun little trees. 00:16:53 Speaker 3: I will I will say, I wonder if you go to the same Starbucks as me. Their hours are completely. 00:16:59 Speaker 5: A rat Which one are you going to? 00:17:02 Speaker 4: It's like York and Eagle Rock. 00:17:06 Speaker 5: Yes, I feel like half the time I go there just not open. 00:17:10 Speaker 3: Somebody closed it like noon, which I use support. I absolutely support. If those people don't want to be there, get out and. 00:17:17 Speaker 5: Get out, don't don't do it. But I'm there a lot. 00:17:22 Speaker 3: I will say that Starbucks for me is rarely uh an enjoy. It's more of like a work liquid where I'm like, oh, I'm going to do a podcast, I should have some caffeine surging through my body just kind of giving me kind of a poisonous almost toxic level of energy. But I don't really like flavor wise, I'm like, this could have been made. 00:17:41 Speaker 2: On an airplane. 00:17:43 Speaker 5: That's what I love. 00:17:45 Speaker 4: What's your order there? 00:17:47 Speaker 5: Currently? 00:17:47 Speaker 2: I get a Grande brown sugar shaking espresso. It's like our specialty drink right now. It's so fun, it's so good. 00:17:58 Speaker 4: So you're you're actually going for like a treat there. 00:18:01 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm getting a treat. 00:18:02 Speaker 2: I'm not getting like I don't ever get just like coffee there or like if I want like coffee, I'll just make it at home. Like to me, it's like it's not coffee, it's Starbucks. 00:18:12 Speaker 5: I'm not getting coffee. I'm getting like my drink. 00:18:18 Speaker 3: And I will oh, yeah I get regular, Yeah, I get cold brew and it tastes perfectly fine. I will say that Starbucks used to make just plain iced coffee, and it was the worst liquid that I had ever put in my mouth. It was the I won't even get into it. It was horrible. Once I switched it to cold brew, it's like I can consume. 00:18:39 Speaker 5: I can't. 00:18:40 Speaker 2: I can't do it because to me, I'm like, if I'm going to get something like drive through cold Brew, I'll just go to McDonald's. I'll get at that rate. Let's just do it. I mean, I love McDonald's. That's not even a knock. McDonald's is perfect. 00:18:52 Speaker 4: McDonald's just doing their thing. 00:18:54 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I'm happy. 00:18:56 Speaker 2: When I go to McDonald's for like fifteen minutes, I am chained to the toilet. 00:19:06 Speaker 3: Another full throated endorsement for a multi billion dollar property. 00:19:13 Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, you're not. I mean no, no, no shopping local. 00:19:19 Speaker 4: You hate local businesses, local business. 00:19:24 Speaker 3: You've kind of staked your, you know, your entire career on this, just only shopping at franchises. 00:19:30 Speaker 5: I'm looking at my desk right now. It's literally like Clorox, Starbucks, Sephora. 00:19:37 Speaker 3: Why is there clorox on your desk? 00:19:40 Speaker 5: There's just a disinfecting way. 00:19:42 Speaker 3: Oh, I was imagining just a jug of bleach, and I was wondering, like a little, a little take a nip of that while you're working. It's not a bad idea. That's essentially what I'm drinking right now. 00:19:55 Speaker 2: Well yeah, ultimately, oh natural Starbuckers. We also I listened to the Gabe Leadman episode and I I almost and I'm this isn't a spoiler because I own I didn't end up doing this, but I almost give you a diet coke as a gift because I have a twelve Oh. 00:20:11 Speaker 4: My god, got a twelve past. You drink a diet coke. 00:20:13 Speaker 5: I love a diet coke. 00:20:15 Speaker 4: I love to. 00:20:16 Speaker 3: Meet you know, somebody living in twenty twenty two that's still drinking a diet soda and is not ashamed of it, because there is a great deal of shame being kind of thrown on us who are kind of consuming this pure chemical beverage. 00:20:29 Speaker 4: Look, it's my it's. 00:20:30 Speaker 3: My evening caffeine and I I'm not going to stop. 00:20:33 Speaker 5: I love it. I love it. 00:20:35 Speaker 2: It just that burn, the burn of a well, especially a fountain diet coke, because there is a difference. 00:20:41 Speaker 4: Oh, there's a huge difference. 00:20:42 Speaker 2: Oh that burn. I love, you know what, the only fountain drink I like more. But I can't drink the whole thing. But I love a McDonald's sprite that is a burn unlike any other. 00:20:54 Speaker 3: I haven't had a McDonald's sprite probably since fourth grade. 00:20:57 Speaker 5: I mean, there's no reason to but I recently got. I was. I was after soccer one night. I was like, you know what I want to do. 00:21:04 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a fucking mcfluury in a minne at a sprite And I got the mcfluury, took it home and on the way home drank like a small sprite and it was the perfect I can't invent it enough. Next time you're in mind, just get a small sprite. 00:21:16 Speaker 4: That's the movie. 00:21:17 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I always with a diet soda will just say give me the largest thing you possibly have, because I of course I'm going to drink as much as possible. But with a sprite, why not get like a kid's size, just a little treat. 00:21:28 Speaker 5: Yes, it was. 00:21:29 Speaker 2: It was exactly what I want to Yeah, with a with a diet soda, I could get like a you know, I want to vat. 00:21:35 Speaker 3: I want to vac right, of course, just give me a hot tub and of straw. 00:21:39 Speaker 5: This is like. 00:21:44 Speaker 3: What Mitro has just lifted up a twelve pack of diet coke that is unopened from she's apparently in her office, and the collection of items at her desk is. 00:21:57 Speaker 4: It's a mania. Let's just say that there's kind of a main to what's happening. 00:22:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually like would be so ashamed to like have anyone see that. 00:22:07 Speaker 5: And yeah, guess what Starbucks card. 00:22:09 Speaker 3: Gift card and everything. I love a Starbucks gift card. 00:22:12 Speaker 4: Give it to me. 00:22:13 Speaker 3: I'm gonna be an airpoint at some an airport at some point. 00:22:15 Speaker 4: Airpoint. 00:22:16 Speaker 3: Interesting, that could be another thing somebody out there take the name, think of the concept. But look at an airport. I'm gonna be buying a coffee. I love to have the points already on my phone. Fairy comforting. 00:22:29 Speaker 4: Yeah, so you're in a soccer. 00:22:31 Speaker 5: League now, Yeah, so I have become like a nut. 00:22:34 Speaker 2: So I'm in three teams, I play three teams. 00:22:38 Speaker 4: Does that create any level of drama between teams? 00:22:42 Speaker 5: I wish. I wish people were like possessive over me. 00:22:46 Speaker 4: Are you any good? 00:22:48 Speaker 1: Yeah? There's you said it. 00:22:52 Speaker 3: I like a nice confidence. Are you the best person? 00:22:56 Speaker 1: You know? 00:22:57 Speaker 4: Well, that doesn't mean. 00:22:58 Speaker 2: Anything, I know, but I play one of the pickup games is like a comedy group. Okay, so I'm like kind of a star there. I mean one where I am hands down the worst on the team, and then another where I am like upper upper level. 00:23:17 Speaker 4: Oh that's nice. That kind of keeps you balanced. 00:23:20 Speaker 2: Then yeah, the one team where I'm the worst is humiliating. 00:23:24 Speaker 4: Do you feel like your teammates on that team resent you? 00:23:27 Speaker 5: Yeah? 00:23:29 Speaker 2: Because I was a late addition also and I only know one person. 00:23:32 Speaker 4: Oh no, this is a bad situation. 00:23:35 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a new group for me. And I was like, yeah, of course I can play on this team. I'm amazing on my other two teams, and man o man nope. 00:23:45 Speaker 4: How often are you playing? 00:23:46 Speaker 2: I play anywhere from like two to four times a week. 00:23:51 Speaker 4: Wow, good for you. Did you play as a kid. 00:23:54 Speaker 2: Mm hm, I've kind of played like since I was four, usually like year round. 00:24:00 Speaker 4: Wow. 00:24:01 Speaker 2: Like I played like on teams and stuff through high school and then like intramural when it was brief my during my brief stint at college, and then pick up in int like rec teams. 00:24:13 Speaker 3: L I will say, as far as like athletics went throughout school, I always found the most well adjusted people were on soccer teams. They were the ones that you were like, they're gonna be nice. They were usually good students. They kind of did it all. I never played soccer, you know, I'd never really played any sport with any level of skill. 00:24:36 Speaker 2: But athletic though you don't play. 00:24:38 Speaker 3: Oh god bless simply could not score a single point in any Well, maybe in badminton. I love a good game of badminton. 00:24:47 Speaker 5: That's really cute. 00:24:50 Speaker 3: I've been wanting to set up a net in my backyard, but I guess maybe not enough to do it, so maybe I don't want it. 00:24:57 Speaker 2: No one's no one's stopping you. 00:25:01 Speaker 4: No one but me. That's my memoir, no one but me. 00:25:06 Speaker 2: No. 00:25:06 Speaker 3: I love badminton because there's no threat of getting hit in the face with a hard you know, like if the little thing smacks you, it's like a fly essentially. But with soccer ball, bloody nose, Here I come. Volleyball, bloody nose here I come. Basketball. Look, I could go on and on. There are several sports. 00:25:26 Speaker 5: I did get throttled last week in the face. What happened the ball. 00:25:30 Speaker 2: The ball was flying and it a girl kicked it and it just went straight in my eye. 00:25:37 Speaker 4: Did I knock you down? 00:25:38 Speaker 5: Yeah? 00:25:39 Speaker 2: Well, because it was like I got I was I was like trying to score and then someone came up behind me and knocked me down. 00:25:47 Speaker 5: And then as I got. 00:25:48 Speaker 2: Up, I got the no. 00:25:51 Speaker 4: See this is my nightmare. 00:25:53 Speaker 5: It was so funny though. 00:25:56 Speaker 4: Did you laugh? 00:25:57 Speaker 2: Yeah, once I realized that I was fine, it was very funny to me. I just when I was in high school, I shot a ball on goal and it bounced off the goalposts, came back, hit me in the eye, and when I came to I was blind in that eye. 00:26:12 Speaker 4: Oh for how long? 00:26:14 Speaker 5: Two weeks? 00:26:16 Speaker 3: Oh, you've got to be kidding. What What did the doctor say? 00:26:21 Speaker 2: Oh my god, there was there was so fucked up that one of the dads on the field, sorry the doctor was not a woman. 00:26:28 Speaker 5: One of the dads on the field. 00:26:29 Speaker 2: It came came up and he like happened to be a doctor and he was like, okay. So the situation is that probably it's either a detached retina, which is forever, or an inflamed iris. 00:26:42 Speaker 5: Which is very temporary. 00:26:43 Speaker 2: But you need to go to the doctor, but he was like, you're baby blind forever. 00:26:47 Speaker 5: And then I was just sobbing because. 00:26:48 Speaker 3: It was, oh my god, I see this. That alone will keep me from soccer for the rest of my life. Why would I risk that? 00:26:56 Speaker 4: That's all? 00:26:58 Speaker 5: That is so fun? 00:26:59 Speaker 3: Which were you so thankful when you got your vision back? Was like a release on life, it was. 00:27:04 Speaker 2: And then immediately go back to being such an ungrateful little not valuing anything for one second. 00:27:15 Speaker 3: Oh boy, Oh well, look, speaking of not valuing anything for any time at all, I feel like there's something I would like to address with you, as something I'd like to get into. I feel like you have not valued me or my time for this podcast because you agreed to be on the podcast at some point in the distant past or near past. I can't who can say what time is anymore? And I was thrilled. I thought, love Mitra. She's so funny, she's so sweet. There's no way anything could possibly go wrong. It'll be a perfect, tight hour of audio, will release it into the world, Listeners will love it. No one will feel uncomfortable or unhappy. There'll be no feelings of anger. And so I was a little surprised. Yesterday, I was kind of doing my rounds through the neighborhood knocking doors around ten am, and I came upon your house and I thought I might as well say hi, I'm going to be recording the podcast tomorrow. Maybe I could just, you know, just do an in person for a minute. 00:28:21 Speaker 4: Knocked on the door. 00:28:23 Speaker 3: You were so you seemed very eager to just kind of open the door and say hello. And then I thought that was nice until you handed me a small bag, which right I now have here, which I thought, I'll take this home. I'm not opening it in front of her. I don't know if this is some sort of sick prank. I don't know what this could possibly. 00:28:44 Speaker 5: You don't sick prank. 00:28:45 Speaker 2: You didn't come in for coffee, even though whitnight I think invited you in eight to twelve times. 00:28:51 Speaker 5: Came, of course, of three minutes. 00:28:52 Speaker 3: If you had asked me one more time, I would have done it. I didn't want to put you out. I need to know that somebody really wants me to come in for coffee. All usually wait for a thirteenth task before I say why not? I have five minutes. And then of course I had the Batman on the mind. You guys had both begged me to go see Batman, and it felt complicated. I was like, do they want me to see Batman at eleven am? Or do they want me to have coffee at their house? I wear mad, right, And you know, I'm a nerd, I'm a geek, and so I had to see the movie. 00:29:20 Speaker 4: I had to see my comic book movie. 00:29:22 Speaker 5: You know, there just aren't enough geeks out there. 00:29:25 Speaker 4: We need more geeks. 00:29:26 Speaker 3: They need to be more vocal, and they need to be meaner to people online. 00:29:29 Speaker 4: That's what I say. 00:29:30 Speaker 2: Thank you finally, sorry but your trauma. 00:29:40 Speaker 3: But anyway, so I was heading this kind of cute little bag. It's green as like a pink tissue. It's almost like a watermelon feel to it, kind of a watermelon laughy taffy or that kind of thing. I took it home in an absolute rage and kind of just relax when saw a movie that I thought was fine and just allowed myself to unwind. Uh, and then decided I would confront you right now. Is this a gift for me? 00:30:09 Speaker 5: Yeah? 00:30:11 Speaker 3: Okay that you know, that's kind of what I suspected. But I you know, I was hoping that things would go differently. But do you want me to open it here on the podcast or is there another time that would be more convenient for me to open uh? 00:30:26 Speaker 2: I mean you tell me, like, maybe see Batman at like nine am tomorrow. 00:30:31 Speaker 3: I'm going to progressively get earlier and earlier until it's a midnight showing and then I won't go. 00:30:37 Speaker 2: Uh No, I mean, might as well open it here? 00:30:40 Speaker 5: Who might as well? 00:30:54 Speaker 3: So I'm gonna sprinkle, sprinkle, go think paper a little pink. 00:31:00 Speaker 2: Bag that I'm taking am. 00:31:06 Speaker 3: So I'm taking the what I thought was pink tissue is in fact a pink bag which. 00:31:13 Speaker 5: I couldn't find the tssue paper. Actually you normally have tisue paper and was kind of hoping I wouldn't get. 00:31:19 Speaker 4: Called out for consider me pranked. 00:31:22 Speaker 5: Yeah, I consider you prank. Consider me humiliated. 00:31:25 Speaker 2: Immediately found the tissue paper later that afternoon. 00:31:28 Speaker 3: So that but this was a good recycling moment for you, friendly. So we'll get into this pink bag that's now reaching in. Oh, this makes me want to cry. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. This is the cute This is a very sweet little kitten in a dress that's I think a cree like a coffee creamy. 00:31:51 Speaker 4: What do you call it a cream holding? I don't know, creamer creamer. 00:31:56 Speaker 2: Girl. 00:31:57 Speaker 4: This is the sweetest. 00:31:58 Speaker 2: Little thing I've ever seen. Where did this come from? I got it? 00:32:03 Speaker 5: We're like a resale shop. 00:32:06 Speaker 4: This feels like a real gift to me. 00:32:13 Speaker 3: This is like, this is truly like something out of out of the corridors of my heart. 00:32:18 Speaker 4: I love it. 00:32:19 Speaker 5: So sweet, she is so cute. 00:32:23 Speaker 4: I don't want to take this from you. 00:32:26 Speaker 3: I mean I do because I think this is maybe the best I mean, look, we can't say best gift because somebody might get mad, but this is top top three gifts I've gotten on this show. This is the if someone gave this to me for a birthday, I would start crying in front of them. 00:32:42 Speaker 4: You got it at a resale place. Where what was the place? 00:32:45 Speaker 2: There's this like, uh, just this like little like Instagram account that I follow that sells a bunch of like like shit all just like little like I have so many little like chowskis from this account, and I'm I'm sick. 00:33:00 Speaker 4: Can we say what the account is? 00:33:01 Speaker 3: Yes, it's called you are anti anti little not anti small business, but well no, We're now all. 00:33:07 Speaker 5: The people are going to find out that I was actually kidding around. 00:33:09 Speaker 2: Before, and then I actually feel like small businesses blowing up my fucking spot. 00:33:15 Speaker 4: Wait, I'm sorry I cut you off. 00:33:17 Speaker 5: What is it called resident objects? 00:33:19 Speaker 4: Resident objects? This is uh? 00:33:22 Speaker 3: I mean, I've never seen a cuter. It's not porcelain, it's a ceramic it's porcelain. 00:33:29 Speaker 5: Well, porcelain is ceramic. 00:33:31 Speaker 3: Okay, so this is where my ignorance comes into play. I guess porcelain is so, so what what is porcelain? What does it look like? 00:33:41 Speaker 4: Raw? 00:33:41 Speaker 2: Well, it's like I mean literally, I could show you because I do pottery, and I have the wheel in my house and I have porcelain in the Wait. 00:33:50 Speaker 3: Oh wow, this is fantastic. This is an undiscovery. This is territory that we may or may not have gotten into if it weren't for my beautiful curiosity. Wait, porcelain, I want you to explain to me what the difference between like a porcelain object and a ceramic object. 00:34:06 Speaker 2: Porcelain is just like a type of ceramic objects. So it's a type of clay. So it's like a sort of a like like fine like you can have like sort of like a rougher kind of earthenware type of clay. And those are the darker ones that you see. I mean, I'm going to explain it so poorly. People who actually like do this for a living. 00:34:24 Speaker 3: The ceramics community is going to just burn you down. 00:34:27 Speaker 5: Cancel my ass. 00:34:28 Speaker 2: But it's like a more like delicate kind of clay. So it like that's why you get like that sort of like beautiful delicate, right thin almost like yeah, and then something like that is probably slip cast, which means like there's a shape that a liquidy version of porcelain is poured into and it goes into a molding and when they take it out, it's the shape of that cat. 00:34:54 Speaker 3: So that so that's more like a thick like a no, like a thin cement. 00:35:00 Speaker 2: Yeah, basically, and then they like fire it like that. 00:35:04 Speaker 4: Wow, that's fascinating how you. 00:35:05 Speaker 2: Can get like certain shapes like this is this is like slip cast. 00:35:09 Speaker 3: Whoa metro has just held up what looks like just a red solo cup, but it's in fact again yeah. 00:35:19 Speaker 2: And this is porcelain like at the bottom it's it's this like weight and did. 00:35:23 Speaker 4: You make this one? 00:35:24 Speaker 2: My wits sister in law's sister made it. 00:35:29 Speaker 5: That's whatever, that is. 00:35:31 Speaker 3: Four degrees away from this ceramic maker. How long have you been working in the realm of ceramics? 00:35:39 Speaker 5: Like two years? I took. 00:35:40 Speaker 2: I used to live across the street from a pottery studio, and. 00:35:44 Speaker 5: I'd always wanted to try it. 00:35:46 Speaker 2: But I'm like genuinely like not humility, like kind of one of the worst like visual artists to ever walk the face of the earth, like in terms of like drawing or anything like that. I just like, do not have the eye, do not have the skill. One time, I like Wit and I were hanging. I'm talking about Wit so much. I swear to God I have friends, but there was one. 00:36:06 Speaker 3: There was once a toxic relationship and just not let you see other people. 00:36:11 Speaker 2: Literally have such a rich social life, like my boyfriend, Well, you didn't. 00:36:16 Speaker 4: Mention a raccoon at the dinner party recently, so we know you have that. 00:36:19 Speaker 5: We know that I'm hanging with raccoons. But I was drawn. 00:36:23 Speaker 2: We were like being cute during the pandemic. We're like, let's draw each other, and the he drew like something so like interesting and cool, and mine genuinely looked like a serial killer, like coming. 00:36:33 Speaker 4: To get him. 00:36:33 Speaker 5: It was so scary and ugly. 00:36:35 Speaker 2: Anyway, I'd always wanted to take class, and then it was right across the street, and I was like, well now more than ever. So wasn't that was? 00:36:43 Speaker 3: Did you start the class right before the pandemic began? 00:36:47 Speaker 2: Yeah? 00:36:47 Speaker 5: I took it. 00:36:47 Speaker 2: I think the first one I took was in like October twenty nineteen. Okay, But then they like let us like rent wheels during the pandemic, so like I carried one over to that wow with other people carried. 00:37:01 Speaker 3: It over right, And so now you've kind of been how often are you making an object? 00:37:07 Speaker 2: It like goes in waves like uh, if I'm not feeling like depresso mode, then I'll do it like every day. And then if I am, then I will like drag myself there once a week or something. 00:37:18 Speaker 5: But it's in my garage. I got a wheel, wow. 00:37:21 Speaker 4: And then how do you find do you have your own kiln? 00:37:24 Speaker 2: I am still a member of the studio. It's called pot and so I fire there and then like I drive all the pieces over. 00:37:31 Speaker 3: There while they're wet. 00:37:34 Speaker 4: You just put them in the cars that I guess that works. 00:37:36 Speaker 2: You like have to like let them dry for a while and then I like sort of box them up and cover them in like little towels so. 00:37:43 Speaker 5: They don't move, and I like buckle them in. 00:37:48 Speaker 4: Have you made any that you're proud of? 00:37:50 Speaker 2: You know? I just made a really big bowl, and like that was really exciting because it's like I've done a bunch of like smaller little bowls that I can like put all my you know, my my stupid little appetizers of the raccoons eat, but like this is like the first like big bowl that you could actually like eat out of that I'm really proud of, like a big salad bowl. Yeah. And then I've made a bunch of like fun vases that I really like. 00:38:14 Speaker 3: Oh my god, do you have a goal, like like a dream ceramic you'd like to throw? 00:38:20 Speaker 2: I think it'd be really cool to have like a whole dinner set. 00:38:24 Speaker 3: Oh that would be great to me plates, two bowls, oh. 00:38:29 Speaker 2: And like and like matching sizes and every like I'm just not very precise, Like I'm more just like hanging on for dear life, like trying to make something usable, and I can't really think about like matching to other things in any like real way like people who can just like do I don't know's it's just experience. 00:38:47 Speaker 5: I don't have that yet, But. 00:38:49 Speaker 2: That's a goal. 00:38:50 Speaker 4: Are you giving them away? Are you hoarding them yourself? 00:38:53 Speaker 2: I mostly just give them as gifts, like if they're if they're ugly, then I'll keep them and like turn them into candles, but so that they still feel like functional and like I don't want to just like throw them away after I paint them and stuff. 00:39:06 Speaker 5: But if they're cute, I give them away. 00:39:09 Speaker 3: To turn them into candles, you just dump a bunch of wax in there. 00:39:12 Speaker 4: How does that happen? 00:39:13 Speaker 1: Got? 00:39:13 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just like will put like wax and like essential oil and stuff and melts it. 00:39:18 Speaker 3: So you've become both a what is the word a ceramicist and a candle maker. 00:39:24 Speaker 5: Yeah, but like ugly, I promise. 00:39:30 Speaker 2: I took a picture of one of the candles, goes like this is so cute, and it like just looks so ugly. I don't know how I managed to make like a wrinkly candle, but it is what. 00:39:41 Speaker 5: I'll send it to you, and it really is. 00:39:43 Speaker 3: I need to see a wrinkly candle. 00:39:45 Speaker 4: That sounds disgusting. 00:39:46 Speaker 5: It's disgusting, but I did it. 00:39:50 Speaker 3: Wow, that's an incredible skill. You'll never have to buy a gift again. You can always just make some sort of ceramic object. 00:39:57 Speaker 2: It's been awesome, especially if I like forget someone's bir I'm like, I'm like running out of the house and like I'll give. 00:40:02 Speaker 5: Them a little cup. 00:40:05 Speaker 4: I made it for you. 00:40:06 Speaker 5: I made you this cup. 00:40:08 Speaker 3: Did you take any art classes or ceramic classes in high school? 00:40:11 Speaker 5: No? 00:40:12 Speaker 2: No, I think I had to like take an art class, and I did like what I had to do, right, and not a moment more. 00:40:19 Speaker 3: Did you have electives like that? I mean, like what were you taking instead? 00:40:23 Speaker 2: I was like a major theater dork. And then I was like, like, like ap little right like that kind of I was. I was a real real dork, like took extra classes in the summer so I could take more. 00:40:34 Speaker 5: AP's kind of good for you. 00:40:36 Speaker 2: Classico classical ceramics were down the road. Yeah, I just had a feeling that I wonder would make some of the ugliest cups you've ever seen it. 00:40:46 Speaker 3: Like, meanwhile, I was taking like six cooking courses a semester, learning absolutely nothing other than had to like use a microwave. 00:40:55 Speaker 2: Wait, but that's cool, Like I wish I had one single practical Well. 00:41:01 Speaker 4: I don't see. You made it out. 00:41:04 Speaker 3: You educated yourself, and now we're developing a hobby. I was, you know, taking these horrible foods courses and and have no skills to demonstrate and have. As we discussed earlier, I'm not even athletic. So what am I doing? 00:41:18 Speaker 5: What foods? 00:41:19 Speaker 2: What kind of classes are you talking about? Like what's happening? 00:41:22 Speaker 3: The class would be called like Foods won and you would go in and they would show you how to literally like how to baking using a microwave. 00:41:29 Speaker 5: I mean basically it's like a fancy school. 00:41:31 Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, this was Utah public education. It was basically like a home ech class. Like the syllabus was probably left over from like nineteen seventy eight, and like when microwaves were kind of like a new technology that you wanted to harness the power of. And so we would go in there and the kitchens were filthy. We would have to clean them every semester, and there was just literally like mouse shit under the ovens and stuff. It was a true playground for disease. And I learned nothing, but I had a great time. 00:42:03 Speaker 5: That's what it's all about. 00:42:04 Speaker 3: That's what it's about. Isn't that what high school is all about. It's an education, just about having fun and learning. 00:42:10 Speaker 2: Wit I could go back there. Best years of my life. 00:42:16 Speaker 3: I peaked, peaked at sixteen in a foods class, learning that you could put doe in a microwave. Well, is there anything else we should say about this little kitten woman? 00:42:29 Speaker 5: Will you name her? 00:42:31 Speaker 4: Oh? 00:42:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, let me think about this for a second. I don't want to rush into this. 00:42:34 Speaker 2: No pressure, no pressure, but even it doesn't even have to happen on the podcast, but I do just wonder. 00:42:38 Speaker 4: I think her name is probably Mary. 00:42:40 Speaker 5: Oh, I agree that this is It's really sweet. 00:42:45 Speaker 4: Looks like a marry to me, don't you? 00:42:47 Speaker 2: Yeah? 00:42:47 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:42:47 Speaker 5: Yeah? 00:42:48 Speaker 3: You think? I mean she's got a did I ever? Did I describe it to the listener? You'll see it on Instagram, But it is a kitten woman. She's in a pink dress with a blue apron she's wearing. And this is where it becomes a little you know, meta, where she is also holding a little cream jar that she pours out of, and then her tail is the the handle, and then she's got you know, a giant hole in the back of her head that you dump the cream into. 00:43:13 Speaker 2: Well, you know, it was a different time women were lobotomized for depressed. 00:43:18 Speaker 4: It's just historically accurate. 00:43:20 Speaker 5: Yes, sort of a comment. 00:43:26 Speaker 2: The classic that a man wouldn't pick up on that. 00:43:30 Speaker 3: My toxic personality me just speaking from the male perspective. Oh, it's a rough world, it's a rough rough time. 00:43:39 Speaker 4: I love this. 00:43:40 Speaker 3: This is truly, you know, just one of the most beautiful objects I've ever laid eyes soaw. 00:43:44 Speaker 2: I was like, I just feel that this will I don't know, it's not like we spent a lot of time together. 00:43:48 Speaker 5: I'm so bad it resonated. I just had this gut feeling that it was gonna work. 00:43:54 Speaker 3: What if I had opened it and just hated it, It would be. 00:43:57 Speaker 5: Really funny too for me to have miscalculated. 00:44:01 Speaker 4: Look, I've got to put this away. This is I can't keep this. 00:44:03 Speaker 3: In my vision. This is disturbing me. It's disgusting. 00:44:07 Speaker 2: We'll arrange a pickup for you to take this back. 00:44:12 Speaker 4: I actually we'll just put a pose it on the audio. 00:44:14 Speaker 3: You can drive over now and take it home, and then we can start recording again. 00:44:18 Speaker 4: I can't have this in my home. This is the cursed object. 00:44:22 Speaker 2: I should have given you a diet coke so you could drink diet coke from the cat. 00:44:27 Speaker 3: I'd love to have a little bit of soda in this, and then I can kind of top off drinks with this. 00:44:31 Speaker 2: It's the trashiest thing that ever happened. 00:44:34 Speaker 3: No, look, I love a diet coke, but this, this object will never carry anything that's not organic, all natural. This is too sweet to be touched by the Coca Cola company. H I love her Mary. I think that's a nice name for the cat. You don't have pets, do you? 00:44:53 Speaker 5: No, I don't care. 00:44:54 Speaker 3: I'm gonna see if you have pet names. I have a dog named Eadie. She's wonderful, perfect, terrific dog. 00:45:01 Speaker 5: That is such a sweet name for a little dog. 00:45:04 Speaker 3: She's quite large, she's eighty five pounds but big. 00:45:08 Speaker 4: She's a princess. 00:45:09 Speaker 5: Oh my god. Well, i'll need to see photos. 00:45:13 Speaker 3: You show me your wrinkly candles, I'll show you my dog. 00:45:18 Speaker 4: That's the agreement. 00:45:20 Speaker 5: I can't wait for you to see. 00:45:22 Speaker 2: I think it's also just like I'm kind of again, like don't have the eye, like a really really kind of uniquely horrible photographer. Also, like, if there's a light, you're gonna be backlit, honey in like this candle is no exception. 00:45:40 Speaker 3: I can't wait. I think it's time to play a game. Okay, you play a game with me? Yeah, okay, this game is called We're gonna I think we're gonna play Gift or a Curse. 00:45:50 Speaker 4: I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:45:54 Speaker 5: Five. 00:45:54 Speaker 3: Okay, the number five. I'm gonna use that to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. Right now, you have the microphone, you can recommend, you can promote, you can share a secret, do whatever you want. 00:46:06 Speaker 4: I'll be right back. 00:46:08 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm going to promote three Busy DeBras season two April twenty fourth, coming to Adult Swim and then Hbomax the next day. This will be out by the time we've announced that, so I'm allowed. And other than that, I just want to tell everyone how important it is that you get your ass of Starbucks and you get a brown sugar oat milk shaken espresso. Sweet to God, It's gonna change your life. 00:46:36 Speaker 3: Other than that, Metra, you promoted Starbucks for the second time on this podcast. We're getting nothing while this company grows and grows, getting in. 00:46:48 Speaker 2: So much trouble for not promoting my television show. 00:46:53 Speaker 3: Listener, you can consume any of those things. The Three Busy DeBras are extremely funny. There's already one season and now yeah, by the time this is out, you'll be able to watch the second season part of it. 00:47:04 Speaker 2: At least it'll be on Adult Swim starting April twenty fourth, and then HBO Max the next day. Please watch it, so don't get in trouble for talking about Starbucks so much. 00:47:16 Speaker 3: I'm tell your friends, Mitra, Okay, I've got the game pieces. 00:47:21 Speaker 4: This is how gift or a curse works. 00:47:23 Speaker 3: I'm gonna name three things, and you're gonna tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why. Now this is where I have to tell you. You've got to be extremely careful. There are correct answers. You could get zero correct and then it's just the listener hates you. Whoever, you know friends or family might hear about this. They might dial into the podcast, which actually would be good for me increasing listenership, just to hear you fall flat on your face. 00:47:48 Speaker 2: I can get that amazing mesa bump. 00:47:53 Speaker 3: We're looking for the Mitra family bump. Bring in an extended family, close family. Whatever it takes, we've got to get that audience. But yeah, you don't want to embarrass yourself. That would be uh a no go for today. Let's say so, just be careful, okay, okay. Number one this is a listener suggestion. Somebody named Kathleen, who I will say suggested this apparently years ago at this point and more recently reached out and said I want you to feature this, and so this is exciting for Kathleen. 00:48:28 Speaker 2: I have to feel is this like Housewives Rules where it's like Samantha from New Mexico, or is it like actually a listener? 00:48:36 Speaker 4: This is an actual listener. 00:48:37 Speaker 5: I love it. 00:48:38 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:48:39 Speaker 3: I also, I mean I would love to have thought of a woman named Kathleen writing in multiple I created an entire fiction for Kathleen. Came to my house. She and I flirted a little bit. Eventually things got a little heated, and then she left. But I know Kathleen's a real person. Kathleen wants to know gift her a curse? Dogs in strollers. 00:49:01 Speaker 5: Gift or a curse? This is hard. I'm gonna say, gift why. 00:49:11 Speaker 2: To me when I see because okay, specifically, the image that comes to mind is a little French bulldog in a stroller and you know those things are not meant to live and they should be in a stroller. And I say that wanting one. I want one. That's my dream dog. I want a dog teeth falling out, can't breathe like needs me to live. 00:49:36 Speaker 4: Just bread into a blivion. 00:49:38 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, so to me, gift because otherwise you're carrying them. And the dog in a stroller is a gift if it's a cute little dog. 00:49:47 Speaker 3: Like that, Matra R hate for you to come oatligate and just immediately fail. Dogs in a stroller are a curse. They're too damn cute. I mean, of course that's a curse. 00:50:00 Speaker 2: I see one. 00:50:00 Speaker 3: I think that's the cutest thing I've ever seen. 00:50:03 Speaker 4: Why is it? 00:50:03 Speaker 3: Why don't I have that? My dog is certainly too big to be in a stroller. I start wondering do I need to get Are there strollers for ninety eighty five ninety pounds? Animals? Hard to say? And then if I end up buying one, that's going to take up a lot of room in my garage or I'm not going to leave that in my living room. People are wondering, why does he have a stroller in the first place? Curse straight through. Damn, I can't see any more dogs than strollers. It's too cute. 00:50:30 Speaker 5: That's I accept. 00:50:33 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, you haven't gotten any right yet, but that's okay. 00:50:38 Speaker 4: Number two. This is also a listener suggestion. Mike Mike has. 00:50:42 Speaker 3: Written Mike Real, mical Real. Mike one two three four has written in Mike is suggested. Gift or a curse? Books with the now a major motion picture stamp. 00:50:56 Speaker 5: Curse you don't have. 00:50:57 Speaker 2: Little curse Why I hate it. I hate when I see a movie poster on the cover of a book. I don't want to I don't care, I don't want to know. 00:51:06 Speaker 4: I'm not interested. 00:51:10 Speaker 5: Who fucking cares? Curse? 00:51:14 Speaker 2: Oh great, you're a movie. Guess what, so are a million other books. That's not gonna it's not tipping the scales for me. 00:51:21 Speaker 5: I was gonna buy it. I was gonna buy it. It being a movie does nothing for me. 00:51:25 Speaker 3: Curse, Mitra, you got the point. There are curse I mean, what a shame. It's just I can't be out in public reading a book with a giant starburst on it that says now a matro. 00:51:38 Speaker 4: It makes me feel stupid. 00:51:40 Speaker 3: I'm like, it makes everyone looking at a question, Oh, does he only read books that are based that are going to become a movie? It's a it's a It makes me feel like trash. It makes me feel like, you know, illiterate trash. Leave that off it. I don't need a book tainted by the Hollywood industry. 00:51:58 Speaker 2: Just let it be a book. Amen, Amen, thank you, thank you. 00:52:05 Speaker 4: I'm glad we're both in agreement here. 00:52:10 Speaker 3: Huge relief. We've got to get those off of books. Keep them off of books. 00:52:14 Speaker 4: Let me find out. 00:52:16 Speaker 5: I am reading, I'm reading. 00:52:21 Speaker 3: Okay, you've gotten one out of two so far, and now here's the final. This is Look, this is an all listener round of Gift a curse, and that works for everybody. The listener gets to be involved. We get, you know, a variety of topics that maybe I wouldn't have thought of in the first place. This person, Kelsey real Kelsey uh, suggested gift to a curse that robot woman voice everyone uses to dub over their TikTok videos. Now, are you familiar with this woman. 00:52:48 Speaker 5: Okay, yes, I love TikTok. 00:52:50 Speaker 2: I actually say gift because I hate the. 00:52:53 Speaker 5: New one so much. 00:52:54 Speaker 4: Wait there's a new one, because now it's. 00:52:56 Speaker 2: Like a guy that sounds sort of like Jason Manzukus little bit, but it's like an it's like a guy going like best. 00:53:04 Speaker 4: Oh that's not a robot voice you want to hear? 00:53:07 Speaker 2: No, it's horrible. So now I'm like, oh, she was a gift and we didn't even know. It's like when I lost my eyesight for two weeks. 00:53:16 Speaker 4: We took this poor woman for granted, this poor robotic woman. 00:53:19 Speaker 5: Yes, because didn't the real woman like Sue or something. 00:53:21 Speaker 3: Like that, something like how am I just becoming aware of any of the Well I'm not on TikTok, but this lawsuit what. 00:53:27 Speaker 2: It's it's better to not know for me to be mediating. 00:53:30 Speaker 5: There's a new one and that would go in suit. 00:53:32 Speaker 2: It's like whoa go outside, princess. 00:53:38 Speaker 3: So okay, so walk me through this. There was a real woman whose voice was used kind of transformed into a robot that could say anything. 00:53:47 Speaker 2: I guess something like that and then watch me like have made everything up. 00:53:54 Speaker 4: They trapped her in the Crystal. 00:53:55 Speaker 3: She was in kind of a tower and kept there by TikTok, and they just made her say everything. 00:54:01 Speaker 4: No, really, I want to hear what was happening. 00:54:04 Speaker 2: I think if I remember right, it was something like there was like they were not legally authorized to be using her voice for in that way, like that she needed to be paying more like they're the usage thing again. 00:54:16 Speaker 5: I'm a lawyer. Everything I say is correct. 00:54:20 Speaker 2: And then so then they weren't able to use her voice anymore. So then they moved on to the other guy. 00:54:25 Speaker 3: Interesting, okay, and this woman I assumes her name was Kelsey written in Oh, well, that's fascinating. I mean, I wonder what this Kelsey signed up for with TikTok in the first place. I mean, what was she what was the game there? 00:54:46 Speaker 5: I have no idea. 00:54:47 Speaker 2: I now I'm like, can't wait for it to be at the fucking Netflix series or whatever. But I'm taking it out. 00:54:55 Speaker 5: Are you with me or not? 00:54:57 Speaker 3: I saw somebody I can't. I wish I could remember to credit them. Somebody reposted a tweet recently of somebody being like, please stop making television shows on events that are like less than ten years old. And I could not be in more agreement with that. Can we just like maybe twenty years out, let's put a twenty year time limit on that. 00:55:16 Speaker 4: That makes sense to me. 00:55:17 Speaker 2: Well, it's like if there's like a passibly attractive blonde woman who does a scam. 00:55:21 Speaker 5: Everyone's like. 00:55:24 Speaker 2: With Carol Baskin, the Farahose one and then Anna Delvey and I'm just like enough. 00:55:30 Speaker 4: Oh my god, too much. 00:55:32 Speaker 5: The bottle blondes in Hollywood are eating. 00:55:36 Speaker 3: We've got to keep these women employed. 00:55:40 Speaker 4: No, thank you. 00:55:40 Speaker 3: I can't do any any more of that. But okay, so we've gotten way off track. I can't even you said she's a gift. Oh you said this robot woman is a gift because we took her for granted. The true answer, the correct answer. I love her voice. She's a gift. What a bizarre I don't like. Because I'm not on TikTok. It kind of came through to me on Instagram and I was wondering, why is everyone on board with this voice? Why is anyone utilizing this? It's fascinating, it's obnoxious, it's loud but kind of monotone. Everything about it works for me. 00:56:15 Speaker 2: I love her thing. 00:56:16 Speaker 5: Yeah, I love her you know. 00:56:18 Speaker 3: What I want to do. I want to be the voice of house Hunters. Maybe have I said that on this podcast before. We need to get the HGTV people to let me narrate house. 00:56:28 Speaker 2: Hunters, give us like a taste. 00:56:31 Speaker 3: Mitra and Wit are trying to decide on a new house between Eagle Rock and Glassow Park. Mitra Mitra is looking for a fixer upper while Witt is looking for a seventy two bedroom. 00:56:46 Speaker 4: How does that sound? 00:56:48 Speaker 5: I love it? 00:56:49 Speaker 4: Did I the audition HGTV? They probably pay peanuts. 00:56:54 Speaker 5: Who cares. It's not about the money. 00:56:56 Speaker 4: That's about the passion for me. 00:56:58 Speaker 2: Yes to me like doing something like that, I'd be like, I don't care, of course, for free. 00:57:05 Speaker 3: I really probably would do that for free, to just be like to have the honor of being like I'm the house Hunter's. 00:57:10 Speaker 4: Voice, to say that, Oh my god, what an honor. 00:57:15 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's a great idea. I want that for you. 00:57:20 Speaker 4: Thank you. 00:57:20 Speaker 3: Let's start the online campaign whatever we need to do. Also, let's not forget the Metro and I both need to be part of the DC Marvel You Shared Universe which is coming for US corporations. 00:57:32 Speaker 5: This is like a good thing for you to politicize on Twitter. 00:57:34 Speaker 3: Be like, why isn't there a gay voice on House Hunters? A TV sounds for homophobic garden trash vision. 00:57:49 Speaker 4: Oh forget it, I don't know. I'm so pissed off. 00:57:53 Speaker 5: Hey, a garden trash is amazing. 00:57:58 Speaker 4: I would watch that channel. 00:58:03 Speaker 3: This. Oh it's still just fixer upper, but it's just low. Extremely realizing these two nancies couldn't pick up a hammer if their life depended on it. I'm you know, look, I'm I'm here. I'm ready to pitch homophobic ideas. I have plenty of internalized homophobia. That would be a deep pool that any network could pull from. I feel like that could be you know, look, that's uh, that's an area that has not been well served in the twenty first century. 00:58:45 Speaker 5: That's so true. 00:58:46 Speaker 2: Homophobia is on the decline, and you need to hear something about it. 00:58:51 Speaker 3: I'm ready to kind of throw myself on that grenade. Oh look, we should answer a listener question or two. It's part of my you know, just service to the community kind of that sort of thing. I don't mow lawns, I don't pick up trash, but I do answer questions. This is called I said no emails people write into I said, no gifts at gmail dot com. Every one of them has a different problem about, you know, social problems they've got, or gift giving. 00:59:23 Speaker 4: They need to give someone a gift. I don't know. 00:59:24 Speaker 3: Everyone's got some situation. Let's let's read one. Okay, this says, hello, Bridger and guests. I have a future predicament. I have been with my boyfriend for almost seven years. Yes, I'm still waiting on a proposal. It's fine, I'm guess. I guess seven years is not that long. Okay, look, well, look, okay, I need to keep reading. 00:59:45 Speaker 5: It's realizing. 00:59:48 Speaker 3: I can't help, but just immediately begin getting in there. 00:59:51 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:59:51 Speaker 3: So this person says I'm a maniac and I'm already thinking about wedding guests to invite. I recently discovered my half sister on Facebook and Instagram, so that, okay, the half sister is all over social media. We turned out to be more alike than I had anticipated. 01:00:06 Speaker 2: She was my. 01:00:07 Speaker 3: Father's first daughter from his first marriage. I was born after she was grown and she already had a child of her own. A little backstory. Things went sour and my parents cut off communication with my half sister when I was a baby, This meaning I have never met her. My mother does not like her and basically think she's evil. My sister and I seem to be Oh, and this is in parentheses. My sister and I seem to be very similar. So maybe I am also evil in my mother's eyes and she just doesn't know it yet. Okay, well that's a big assumption. My father, however, has never spoken a word about my sister to me. I believe he is unaware that I even know of her existence. I would love to have my sister at my wedding, but I don't feel like I can tell my mildly unstable mother that I found my sister and that she seems to be someone I want in my life. I also don't feel like I can even say her name around my closed off, distant father. How do I give the gift of peace between excommunicated family members or should I just go for it, surprise them all and let the chaos be cheap entertainment at the wedding that will hopefully happen. Bridge Or and guest, Please help me, I clearly need a lot of it. Love, Lauren, Okay. 01:01:15 Speaker 2: So God that there's not even no engagement. 01:01:18 Speaker 3: I know, halfway through I was like, oh, this could all go southway before a wedding even happens. 01:01:24 Speaker 4: We don't even have a save the date yet. 01:01:26 Speaker 3: Who this person is living in a grim's fairy tale where there's kind of a sister who can't be mentioned. She's a half sister who may show up at her wedding. This is the plot of Cinderella. No, not Cinderella. There's something maybe Sleeping Beauty is maybe kind of a you know, when there's kind of an evil, uninvited guest that shows up and throws a curse on everyone. So that's the feeling I'm getting. First of all, let's just say, Lauren, the only two people who have met this half sister are your mom and dad and you see do me, and they both hate this person. So for all we know this person absolutely sucks. We've got to we've got to think that that could be something that's actually going on. The reality could be half sister is no good. 01:02:09 Speaker 5: Or used to suck also changed. 01:02:16 Speaker 3: So what well, then, what do we say to Lauren who kind of leads a life of assuming and just bad faith and uh, you know, hoping that she's going to be getting married when we her fiance. We don't know, uh, who the fiance could possibly be. 01:02:38 Speaker 2: We've got a major case of cart before the horse here, and the cure is get engaged. 01:02:48 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think one that first step could be very helpful. 01:02:53 Speaker 2: I think you should figure out what's going on with regards to your engagement. Because what if you say that you want to get married and then your partners don't want to get married and then there's no wedding at all, and you don't have to worry about this, right saying, but also maybe you know the engagement happens and then you can deal with all this fit But. 01:03:13 Speaker 5: I'm just saying, let's deal with that first. 01:03:17 Speaker 2: This is like but truly, this is something that comes up in therapy for me all the time, which is I'm. 01:03:21 Speaker 5: Like, so I'm thinking eight steps ahead. I want to try and. 01:03:25 Speaker 2: Manipulate everyone in my life and doing what I want. I was like, well, how about the about what's actually going on? And I'm like, but that's so boring today. 01:03:35 Speaker 4: Nothing, nothing's going on. 01:03:37 Speaker 5: What about the problem I invented? 01:03:40 Speaker 3: I have this rich fantasy that I've imagined. Let's play in that world. 01:03:44 Speaker 5: Come, what do you think I pay you for. 01:03:48 Speaker 3: Well, you and Lauren seem to be birds of a feather. I mean, she hasn't even met this half sister outside of as far as I can tell, Instagram and maybe Facebook Marketplace. She's trying to buy furniture. 01:04:04 Speaker 5: Now that's a movie. 01:04:07 Speaker 3: All I wanted to buy was a used rocking chair. Well on, I got a lot more. 01:04:14 Speaker 2: That needs to be on the Homophobia Network for our first offering folding myself into the Homophobia Network. 01:04:23 Speaker 3: By the way, I welcome any type of homophobe to my network. Straight queer, if you have homophobia, you are welcome to pitch ideas shows. We will take them. We will go straight to production. You just have to have a little bit of hatred in your heart for you know, you've got to be a bigot on some level. That's all we ask. Yeah, So, Lauren, you can either get engaged, as Metro has suggested, which I think is perfectly reasonable. You could meet this woman and kind of feel it out yourself. I mean, all you've seen is probably like her on the beach, maybe some political posts that apparently you agree with. You didn't really say where you lie on the political spectrum. So God knows what's happening there, but maybe arranged for a coffee date or you know, I wouldn't say like a good situation. I would say like a somewhere in between good and bad situations, so you get a real feel for her almost right off the bat. Or show up really late to your coffee date just to see if she's freaking out, you know, a little test to see if this is somebody you want at your wedding. Yeah, but don't jump to any other conclusions until you've made one of those decisions, because you're putting a lot of people in danger here, and your parents have warned you. They've both warned you. Your father won't even speak of this person. I mean, I don't even. 01:05:46 Speaker 5: Know what to say. 01:05:51 Speaker 3: I feel like we we did a perfect job answering that. 01:05:55 Speaker 5: Yeah, get engaged and get coffee and be late. 01:05:57 Speaker 3: Yes, Lauren, you have a game plan. Your half sister by the time you've heard this may have, you know, fled the countries. 01:06:06 Speaker 2: She might be in jail, she may come this time you're married. 01:06:11 Speaker 3: Yeah, truly, I mean, and hopefully it went off without a problem, because you seem to be kind of somebody who likes to stir the pot, play with fire your half sister as well. Maybe your parents have cut you off by now that that's another solution. Cut off your parents and become friends with this half sister, and now she's your family. You get to kind of play with family in this situation. Lauren, do whatever you want. I support. 01:06:36 Speaker 2: You're the puppeteer, girlfriend, I am the puppeteer. 01:06:40 Speaker 4: I'm pulling strings. Or what are you saying, Laurence the puppeteer. 01:06:43 Speaker 5: Well, I'm saying Lawrence puppeteer. But then above her as you being the puppet. 01:06:46 Speaker 3: Yeah, don't take a puppeteering out of my hands here, I'm the puppeteer. 01:06:49 Speaker 5: There are many puppeteers. 01:06:53 Speaker 3: There is a tangled web of puppet strings and half sisters. Oh Mitra, I can't believe this gift I've gotten. 01:07:03 Speaker 5: I am still pizzed. 01:07:05 Speaker 3: I am pissed as hell. I'm truly honored that. I mean, this just speaks to me on every single level. To just get a lovely little gift, A little catwoman, kitty woman. Oh interesting that I'm saying catwoman. Now we've got oh no, what's happening? The thing, the way things tie together, the universe has a plan for all of us. 01:07:29 Speaker 2: Like a set of puppet strings. 01:07:32 Speaker 3: Who's the real puppeteer, Mary. 01:07:39 Speaker 2: Mary controls the universe. 01:07:41 Speaker 3: There's a beautiful catwoman in a kind of pink dress pouring milk on all of us, and all we do is lap it up. 01:07:49 Speaker 2: Meta. 01:07:50 Speaker 3: I've had a wonderful time with you. Thank you so much for being here. 01:07:53 Speaker 5: Me too, went a little giggle fest. 01:07:57 Speaker 2: Listener. 01:07:58 Speaker 3: I hope that you have been absolutely stonefaced throughout this episode. I hope you're taking it very seriously. 01:08:05 Speaker 2: I hope that if somebody didn't laugh once, I want them to email the The Lion. 01:08:13 Speaker 3: Please please let us know, you know, give us a one star review. Attack Attack, Attack, try to just take us down. You've had a horrible time on this episode, and you're not going to stand for it anymore. You've been very patient and unfortunately the shows you've just finally decided it's not for you. You waited until the last sixty seconds to just say no, not doing this anymore. But look, you may have had another experience with this podcast. 01:08:43 Speaker 4: I don't know. 01:08:44 Speaker 3: I hope you had a good time. You now have to kind of stop listening to the podcast, which is always a frustrating thing when you've been having any kind of time listening to an episode and then you have to make another decision in your life. And we can only make so many decisions in a day, so hopefully this one was kind of an automatic. I'm kind of trying to get you into that mode of you don't even have to think, you're just listening to the podcast. You don't even choose to. It's just part of the material of your life, Sary, and you can. I'm going to send you off into the world as I usually do. I want you to be safe. I want you to be just full of joy and just enriching the lives of everyone you meet. 01:09:28 Speaker 4: Go do that. I love you. I'll talk to you again soon. Goodbye. 01:09:36 Speaker 3: I Said No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Analyse Nelson, and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I Said No Gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to mideral dot com slash ads. 01:10:20 Speaker 2: And I invited you. 01:10:21 Speaker 1: Hear Thunna man myself perfectly clear. When you're a guess to me, you gotta come to me empty and a certain no guest. Your presences presents enough and I'm already too much stuff. 01:10:46 Speaker 2: So how do you dance? 01:10:48 Speaker 1: Surbey me?