WEBVTT - Jenny McCarthy on Ashley Iaconetti, ‘The Masked Singer,’ and More | Happy Hour 0:00:02.120 --> 0:00:04.400 Welcome back to a Bachelor Happy Hour. 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:07.960 I'm Cheerity and I'm Rachel, and today we have a 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:12.680 very special guest who is a longtime Bachelor fan, Jenny McCarthy. Jenny, 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:14.440 Welcome to Bachelor Happy Hour. 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:17.400 Thank you so much. I'm excited to talk to you guys. 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:21.239 The Love vaccination as we know it, which we're I 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:23.840 love when like Bachelor fans and just people who have 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:26.680 really watched the show and seen it from really start 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.480 to finish come on this podcast because there's just so 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:31.680 much to dive into, and as we know it, this 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:34.559 show has truly changed over the years. So I want 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:37.840 to get into literally your history of being a Bachelor fan. 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:41.280 What about the show itself hooked you like? What made 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:43.880 you so intrigued by it? 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:46.920 The funny thing is I've probably been watching this before 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:50.200 you guys were born, the same way. I'm an og 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:54.279 Bachelor Nation girl. So the reason why I, well, I 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:56.120 know why I love it, but I also think people 0:00:56.120 --> 0:01:00.640 love it too, is there's an hopefulness, there's an awkwardwardness. 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:05.920 Even though it's on TV and things are polished, you 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:10.399 can't escape the awkwardness of the first meetings. You can't 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:14.040 escape the awkwardness of the first dates, and it's really 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:21.400 cool to watch. Of course, egos come alive competitions insecurity, 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:24.360 but also the ones who are confident. You actually can 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:28.800 learn a lot by watching the show because you go 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:31.279 like this, Oh, I don't want to be like her, 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.000 or oh, I want to be like her. There's so 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.880 much that you can learn, and I always have fun 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:43.880 watching people. Everybody does this. I don't want to say 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:46.080 just the Bachelor people. Because this is televised, you get 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.720 to watch it happen in real time. People send out 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:52.200 their representatives. And what do I mean by that? Whenever 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:55.160 we start dating someone the first two years, we have 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:59.280 our representative pretty much representing us. 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:00.400 What is that look like? 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.960 It means? It means like your boyfriend might be like, 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:07.000 you know, you like watching football, I love watching football, 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.560 and then two years later you're like, I freaking hate 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:16.320 watching football because your representative has It's almost like masking 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.400 a little bit because you want to be perfect. You 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:20.600 want them to like you. It's just a normal part 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:25.440 of human nature. So to watch it happen on the 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.600 TV show, you know you're getting a crash course in it, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:33.560 but because of the competition, you get to see the 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.760 ugliness side quicker than you would in a normal relationship. 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:39.839 You're going to see, you know. And I give those 0:02:39.840 --> 0:02:42.840 girls a lot of credit because I don't know if 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:46.320 I can handle. I'm a scorpio and very jealous, so 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:50.359 I would be like I would go south Side Chicago. 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:54.120 Oh my gosh. Wait, So if there was another world, 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.000 would you have ever been the Bachelorette? 0:02:56.000 --> 0:03:00.640 If they asked cool, I have some gossip for you. You're 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:03.919 ready to die that they just started the Bachelorette. I 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.160 know how many years they were into it. And I 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:09.919 was newly divorced, and I called my agent and I said, 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.440 I want you to call them and I want you 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:15.080 to pitch me as the Bachelorette. I want you to 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:17.880 tell them that Jenny McCarthy from MTV singled out the 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:20.760 number one dating show of all time, is single and 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.400 now wants to be on the show. And I was, you, 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:25.800 guys don't know, but my show back in the day day, 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:30.240 I was a ball busting like shut up to the guys, 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.960 like I had no fear. But I was also like 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:35.480 genuinely looking for love. And I was like, I wouldn't 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:40.880 make the greatest bachelorette. Of all time, and the show said, quote, 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.320 we don't want famous people on the show now cut 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:44.920 to it. 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:45.360 Yeah. 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:48.040 I was like, oh my god, they're gonna I'm like, 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:50.720 I would have done. You guys don't understand. I would have. 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:54.200 It would have been the most ultimate Bachelor Nation season 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:57.760 of all time because I would have I would have 0:03:57.800 --> 0:03:59.520 had so much fun with those boys. I would have 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:05.800 made out with all of them, just so awesome on 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:06.320 that show. 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.520 I feel robbed. We couldn't see this all right. 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:12.640 I'm so mad still to this day, I'm always like 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:16.040 they missed their chance. But then Amy Schumer I saw 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:20.000 years later, also called and said, hey, I want to 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:23.080 be the Bachelorette, and they said the same thing to her. No, 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:25.440 I feel like they're kind of missing out on the 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:30.240 celebrity version. They can literally call it the celebrity version 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.359 of Bachelorette, because I think I would really really do 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:36.280 what they've got other celebrity versions of everything else. Why 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:40.239 wouldn't you do a celebrity version of Bachelorette? But they're 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:43.720 lost now because now I'm happily married love that. 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.440 Oh No, that really would have been a season. 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:52.080 Honestly, I do think, like you know now in modern days, 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.359 I don't even like saying that, Just like now in time, 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:56.640 I feel like they are trying to obviously as we 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:58.920 know it, try new things and see how. 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:00.599 Well it sticks in land. 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:04.320 But I think, yeah, you know, there is a world 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:09.719 where people yeah, big following or something like, you know, 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:12.640 it could be could be helpful. I'm like, I would 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:16.400 love to see Rob from Traders as our bachelor, Like 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:20.159 do you know Rob ra am I saying yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:22.800 And I could do. 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:26.800 It with the forgive me because I didn't watch the show, 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:29.400 The Mormon wide show The Woman That Did Not Thing 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.000 did not air, but that was their first attempt to 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:35.560 cross the cross contaminate. 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:36.640 On that one, and that's fair. 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.240 Is there anyone that you would like to see in 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:42.520 that role if they were ever to do a celebrity season? 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:46.520 Now that Amy Schumer is single, right, didn't she get it? 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:47.679 Just announce her divorce? 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:51.479 Oh I did? I? Oh I might? 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.520 Is that google that real quick? 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:56.400 She would be. 0:05:56.440 --> 0:06:01.000 Hilarious, No insane, insane one fact check me on that. 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:04.279 I couldn't make it, yeah, the dream, but she would 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.719 be She would probably do all the things that I 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:08.480 would have done if I was on the show. 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.560 Oh, beyond like, it would be a completely different show 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.000 if she was. You know what I would have done 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:14.160 to completely different? 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:15.960 I am so, but I also know how to make 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:17.520 great TV, so it would been a little bit of 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:20.200 me trying to find love. Me just make it out 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:22.200 of the guys because I could, because it's okay on 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.640 that show. But then also I would have fun pitting 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:26.640 them against each other. 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:32.479 Oh, she's like, I'm starting the pot completely. I'm like, 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:34.200 I feel like they do a good job of that 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.000 one their own. They do. 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:37.800 I love it. 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:41.240 But I would have been like, man, Brian really really 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:43.600 shoved his tongue down my throat and I liked it, 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:44.640 you know what I mean? 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:49.599 Mean, Oh my gosh, this is the type of personality. 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:52.080 This is exactly what we need. 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:54.240 And I feel like in this role, if you did 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.320 bring a celebrity on, do you think they would be 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:59.480 okay dating just the average everyday person or do you 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:02.000 think the contestants would have to be celebrities as well? 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:04.920 No, I think one hundred percent celebrities want to date 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:08.479 real people. It's just a matter of finding a real 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:11.600 person that knows how to stay in their lane. What 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:16.720 I mean by that is sometimes your partner can feel 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:20.440 insecure no matter what job they have, you know, whether 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:25.200 that be a famous even football player and an actress. 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:29.200 But with someone, let's say, a really amazing attorney and 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:31.080 the best in their field, they're still going to have 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:36.440 an insecurity. So as long as the non celebrity feels 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:41.120 good in their position and their place in life, that's 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:43.480 what the celebrity would love to date. They you know, 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:46.520 look at camera Dias in the cameraman right, it's like 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:51.400 there is hope for you know, the celebrity non celebrity. 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:55.000 It's just a matter of finding that confident guy or 0:07:55.120 --> 0:08:00.240 girl that won't get caught up in the fame drama. 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:03.960 I agree more, I one hundred percent agree. Where do 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:04.720 you feel like? 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:07.560 I don't know if you've been watching Bachelor up until 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.000 this point or if you've taken some pauses totally. 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:10.800 Understands what you have. 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:12.400 Yeah, unders Like. 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:16.600 I guess how casting has, like I guess, changed over 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:20.960 the years. Obviously, when like Trista was like our first bachelorette, 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.920 it was very like everybody had you know, nine to fives. Obviously, 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:28.040 social media and influencing and all of that has created 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.680 such a shift in like careers and what is like, 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:32.800 I guess deemed as like oh, what we want to 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:35.040 see and what people want to do more of. But 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:38.400 I also think that indirectly or directly plays a role 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.480 in how the show is casting because I feel like 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:45.160 now it adds this extra layer of like almost like 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:47.800 people being superficial, and it's like you have to pull 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:49.920 back that layer of like, Okay, are you really here 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:51.720 looking for love or do you just want like a 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:54.559 good opportunity, a good role to like make great TV. 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:58.400 So where do you feel like casting can improve in 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.040 that department of selecting to come on this show? 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:04.040 But that's a really beautiful question, Tardan. I love the 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:07.600 way you kind of set that up so nicely. This 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:09.880 is if you were to ask me who my favorite 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:12.079 bachelor of bachelrette of all time, it would be Trista. 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:17.680 It would be Trista because she was the first one 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:21.440 that was able to come in before the word influencer 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:26.360 became an actual name in the dictionary. She went in 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:30.160 there looking for true love and guess what she found it? 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:33.600 She found it. So that's what was so great about 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:37.400 her story, and really everyone should thank her because she 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.480 proved she proved it just so happened that the first 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:44.880 one actually it worked for but she proved to everybody 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.440 else this isn't just a gimmick, This isn't a game show. 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:50.600 You can actually find your happy labor after And to 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:55.000 your point, the problem now is a lot of times 0:09:55.360 --> 0:10:00.360 people will make this their job, this their occupation. And 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.880 you know, if you think about it, it is more 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:06.480 difficult though to be like if you're let's say at 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.640 a job you have an attorney, you're an attorney or something, 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:11.120 you'd be like, you know, I'm leaving for three months. 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:15.560 It's hard to leave a job to go do something 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:20.880 for three months. You usually you find people who maybe 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:24.560 are wanting to be influencers that have those you know, 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:28.920 those kind of occupation or trainer. You know how many 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:33.280 trainers have we said, because there's a life coach, so many, 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:35.600 so many because their schedules are more open. So I 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:39.240 can see why casting gets inundated with those, and their 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:42.720 schedule allows them to come on the show. So it's 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:46.640 not all casting's fault. Those are that that's the pool 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:50.720 that's more available. The problem is that pool also is 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:57.000 trainer slash influencer, health coach slash influencer. You know, it 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:01.120 kind of goes with those kind of jobs. So I 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:08.360 don't know how they can improve it other than, you know, 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:11.200 finding people that are okay leaving their jobs and really 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:17.480 staying away from those typical, stereotypical, you know, occupations. 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:21.719 As someone who's been in the field as long as 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:25.200 you have, what do you think about the current dating 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:27.440 show to influencer to famous pipeline? 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:34.160 You know, am I mad at it? Not? Really, it happens, 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:38.400 it just it just is how it is today. I 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:42.440 would like them to start out with an authentic like 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:46.800 on this show, an authentic realness and authentic search for love, 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:51.120 genuinely looking for it. And if they so happen to 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:58.160 fall upon and influencer type situation, fine, you know. Like 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.080 there's a story I'll tell you in a little while, 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:03.120 unless you want to dive into it right now. 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:08.559 I love with ears is I have a little bit 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:15.599 of a connection with a former contestant, which is Ashley I. 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:19.840 Ashley I who I love, We love Ashley Hi. Okay, 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.600 So the story behind Ashley I, you guys, is she 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:29.040 was my former nanny gens Son. He was my son's nanny, 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.360 and of course my son was like I have the 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:34.840 hottest nanny in the world. Okay, truly, and then one 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:38.080 day she's like, I can't work for you anymore because 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.720 and I was like, why, who's stealing you? And she's like, 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.680 I got chosen to go on the Bachelor, and I'm like, 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:49.400 no way. And I was like, listen, you're gonna do 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:53.160 everything I tell you to do, and you're gonna make it. 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:56.160 You're gonna just pull through. I don't know if you're 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.719 gonna find love, but everyone's gonna know who Ashley I 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:01.560 is not to this, and she was authentically looking for love. 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:04.120 That's the thing that you can tell from Ashley I 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:07.880 is those tears are genuine. Are they ridiculous? Of course, 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:08.400 but they are. 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.360 She's like a hopeless romantic for sure. 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:11.160 Oh my god. 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.400 We fell in love with her through those tears. We 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.120 fell in love with her through her beautiful, ugly cry 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.679 because it was real. She really have these crushes, you know. 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.600 So that's what I knew going into. 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:26.240 It is going to work for her because she's got 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.040 the realness part. She did so well on that show, 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:30.800 and she became like a little bit of an America 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:31.719 sweetheart after that. 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:33.320 She really did. 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:38.520 I feel like Ashley I is such an iconic Batchelation alumni, 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:46.920 and to know that you created Ashley is crazy. 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:48.400 What do you think. 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.360 About her now on the Real Housewives? 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.800 I am so I was waiting for her to get 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.120 back on reality TV because I'm like, when you have 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:02.880 someone that is charismatic, that you like and that can 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:08.280 cry it like crazy. She can't, and she can, and 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:11.400 she's crying her eyes up now. So it's like, I'm 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:13.640 so happy for her. I'm so happy for her and 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:18.720 her beautiful little family, and she's just she was meant 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:22.400 to do this. I just hope that, you know, I 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:26.200 hope with any of those housewives, there seems to be 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:31.080 like there's a there's a what is the world? I'm 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.560 looking for a spell that's that comes over them, that's 0:14:34.680 --> 0:14:39.080 cast on them where there's you know, destruction, whether that 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:44.160 be in jail, I r S, divorce. It's almost like 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:45.880 Lord of the Rings. Do you guys ever see Lord 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.120 of the Rings? But you put on the ring, it's 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:50.560 like the evil eye goes towards you. It's like you're 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:52.840 on that housewife. You hold whatever they want you to 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:53.840 hold you. 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.320 Oh my gosh, we got to protect her from this. 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:00.240 I know, we really do. 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:02.800 It's like, it's like and that's where. That's where with 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:07.840 any marriage, if you have a solid foundation, you don't 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:10.080 have to worry about that, if you truly have a 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:13.240 solid foundation, Like Donnie and I did our own reality 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:17.200 show not that long ago, Donnie did Wahlberger's with his brother. 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:18.840 Then we Donnie and I did kind of a spin 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.800 off with ourselves, and people would say to us all 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.760 the time, I, Hey, are you worried? Are you worried 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:27.720 about like this influencing your relationship? And we'd be like no, 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:33.760 only because the foundation was so solid. Because when you're filming, 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:39.480 you tender, you're exhausted, your your ego comes out a 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.960 little bit. You're worried about what people think. You're worried 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:44.880 about how you're perceived. Then if you're perceived the wrong way, 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:48.480 are you blaming your partner, You're blaming the edit. You know, 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.800 things can get really, really, really ugly. We only went 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:54.680 three years because my son, who was also filming in 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:58.240 the reality show, said he was turning into a teenager 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:01.760 and he was like, if you think I'm going through 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:06.080 puberty on start, you're out of your mind. Because there 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:08.200 were cameras in our house all day long, like it's 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.280 a real thing. Like I'd literally be like, oh and 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:12.720 at the end of the hallway, it's like a camera 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:16.960 guy there, you know. So I we said, okay, no more. 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:19.480 You could still of course watch our episodes. They're still 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:20.920 up on A and E. You can watch them. But 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.320 it was it was a family decision at that point 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:28.760 because I said, the foundation isn't built and steady for 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:31.320 my son. It was steady for me and my husband, 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:33.440 but it's not for my son, and I do not 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:35.520 want to do that because we see what happens to 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:37.120 a lot of these kids on reality shows. 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:41.040 To me, absolutely yeah no, And like you mentioning kind 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:43.560 of like the transition or not even transition, but there 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:48.000 definitely is a contrast between like filming all aspects of 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:50.360 your life, and that's like you know, cameras on all 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:54.320 the time versus like me and Rachel or like Ashley 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:57.120 obviously she met Jared on Paradise. But it's like we 0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:00.200 come from this like bubble where everything is just about 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.280 finding love or it's about like dating and your kind 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:05.960 of like tunnel vision on one person. But like once 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.800 that bubble ends or pops and you come back to 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:12.000 real life, or reality. That's really what I feel like 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.680 is where the work really begins, which our fans don't 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:15.880 ever really see that part. 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:18.160 They don't get to see that part of it unfold. 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:20.040 So what's what would be like? 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.280 I guess your advice for couples, Like I met my 0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:26.600 fiance on my season of The Bachelorette, what would your 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:31.960 advice be for couples? I guess making it sustain in 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:37.600 the public eye, but also have this you know, genuineness 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.920 or authenticity about the relationship itself and not losing sight 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:41.159 of that. 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:47.400 You know, that would be a very difficult transition because 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:51.160 you're living in a mansion, all of your needs are 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:54.640 taken care of, you have no outside influences during all 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:57.680 of that time, You're in helicopters, You're going to fancy dinners, 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.560 and it's so it's like someone let's you live the 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.480 life of Cinderella and then pulls your shoes and dress 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.000 away and your house and everything. It says, good buck. 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.360 I mean, that would be I respect anyone that has 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:13.240 to go through that transition. You know, it's kind of 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:16.160 like almost like getting fired from a job. You know, 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:17.080 I don't know most of us. I think you've at 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:19.679 least you're fired once where you feel like your identity 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:22.639 has been stripped away, and that's kind of feel a 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:26.679 little bit like that too. My thing would my advice 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:30.120 would be is to dive into the relationship even more 0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:33.720 because if you're chasing the same identity, you're trying to 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.240 stay relevant, that's the word. If you're trying to stay 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:41.080 relevant in the public versus putting in the work in 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:46.000 the relationship, you are doomed. You are doomed now, mind 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.520 you is there's still things you can do. Of course, 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:51.479 there's you know, influencer things. There's a way to like 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:54.960 make some money and Madrea YadA YadA, and I'm all 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.440 for that. But if you put more work into that 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:00.840 maintaining identity versus the work and you're really relationship, you're 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:02.280 going to be in a lot of trouble. So I 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:06.320 would say, date, talk, get into therapy. You know, Donnie 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.640 and I would be when we first started dating. Actually 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:11.080 that's the first thing I tell you to do is 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.280 go from that show, go right into a therapist. When 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.960 Donnie and I first started dating, we were like two 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:20.439 months into the relationship and I said, you want to 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:22.200 do something fun? He was like, what. I'm like, let's 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:25.439 go see let's go see a couple's therapist. And he's like, 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:29.040 what's wrong with us? And I'm like nothing, That's exactly 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:33.399 why it's a great time to go because well we're older, 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:38.560 but it doesn't matter for anybody. We all have go 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:41.879 tos when we're in a fight, when we're feeling insecure. 0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:44.320 There's usually in a fight, there's the person that wants 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:45.920 to talk it out and then the other person that need 0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:48.800 silent or just a silent treatment that might escape me 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:50.680 in the room for a while. You know, we gravitate 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:53.440 towards the opposite and sometimes, so I said, why don't 0:19:53.440 --> 0:19:57.199 we go to a couple's counselor and figure out a 0:19:57.240 --> 0:20:01.000 tool belt, a toolkit kit that we can use when 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:03.919 the time comes when we have a disagreement when we 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:06.480 feel like we're gonna fight, because we're going to. Even 0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:10.000 though Donnie and I I think are the poster couple 0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:13.240 for Happily ever After, we really truly are madly in 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:14.960 love with each other after twelve years. I love it. 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:18.840 But it's because we did the work and in that 0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:21.399 therapy session we learned who was the person that likes 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:23.399 the silent treatment. Who is the person they need to 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:25.720 talk right now? How do we compromise? Is there a 0:20:25.800 --> 0:20:28.919 middle when someone is so on the opposite side of 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.320 the spectrum, and there was It was like you're only 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:33.720 allowed to go in the other room for five minutes. 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:36.440 Like you can do five minutes. If you need ten, 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:39.119 just ask for it. But you can't do two hours. 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:40.920 You can't do three hours. You can't do the next 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:43.719 till the next day. You get five to ten minutes 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:46.160 before you have to talk it out. Now, the talk 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:48.919 it out person also needs to know they can't go 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:52.520 on a hamsterveeal. Sometimes the talk it out person needs 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:54.240 to repeat it over and over and over again and 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:55.680 over We're and over and over again, and you're like, 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.000 what are you doing? You're just repeating it? Have you 0:20:58.040 --> 0:21:00.280 not heard what I said? So there's a lot of 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:04.720 those tools and the toolkit that a couple's counselors can 0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:07.160 give you early on in dating, especially if you kind 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:10.960 of know you want this person to be here happily 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:15.080 ever after. Go in early and learn those things. And 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:17.040 it was so fun to learn that about each other. 0:21:17.080 --> 0:21:18.840 I'm sorry if I'm talking so much about'm keep going 0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:23.760 because this podcast is this is perfect, but it's also 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:27.359 about in the new relationships. No matter how old you are, 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.680 we tend to project whatever was in the past into 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:34.280