Speaker 1: Welcome back to a Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2: I'm Cheerity and I'm Rachel, and today we have a
Speaker 2: very special guest who is a longtime Bachelor fan, Jenny McCarthy. Jenny,
Speaker 2: Welcome to Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I'm excited to talk to you guys.
Speaker 4: The Love vaccination as we know it, which we're I
Speaker 4: love when like Bachelor fans and just people who have
Speaker 4: really watched the show and seen it from really start
Speaker 4: to finish come on this podcast because there's just so
Speaker 4: much to dive into, and as we know it, this
Speaker 4: show has truly changed over the years. So I want
Speaker 4: to get into literally your history of being a Bachelor fan.
Speaker 4: What about the show itself hooked you like? What made
Speaker 4: you so intrigued by it?
Speaker 3: The funny thing is I've probably been watching this before
Speaker 3: you guys were born, the same way. I'm an og
Speaker 3: Bachelor Nation girl. So the reason why I, well, I
Speaker 3: know why I love it, but I also think people
Speaker 3: love it too, is there's an hopefulness, there's an awkwardwardness.
Speaker 3: Even though it's on TV and things are polished, you
Speaker 3: can't escape the awkwardness of the first meetings. You can't
Speaker 3: escape the awkwardness of the first dates, and it's really
Speaker 3: cool to watch. Of course, egos come alive competitions insecurity,
Speaker 3: but also the ones who are confident. You actually can
Speaker 3: learn a lot by watching the show because you go
Speaker 3: like this, Oh, I don't want to be like her,
Speaker 3: or oh, I want to be like her. There's so
Speaker 3: much that you can learn, and I always have fun
Speaker 3: watching people. Everybody does this. I don't want to say
Speaker 3: just the Bachelor people. Because this is televised, you get
Speaker 3: to watch it happen in real time. People send out
Speaker 3: their representatives. And what do I mean by that? Whenever
Speaker 3: we start dating someone the first two years, we have
Speaker 3: our representative pretty much representing us.
Speaker 5: What is that look like?
Speaker 3: It means? It means like your boyfriend might be like,
Speaker 3: you know, you like watching football, I love watching football,
Speaker 3: and then two years later you're like, I freaking hate
Speaker 3: watching football because your representative has It's almost like masking
Speaker 3: a little bit because you want to be perfect. You
Speaker 3: want them to like you. It's just a normal part
Speaker 3: of human nature. So to watch it happen on the
Speaker 3: TV show, you know you're getting a crash course in it,
Speaker 3: but because of the competition, you get to see the
Speaker 3: ugliness side quicker than you would in a normal relationship.
Speaker 3: You're going to see, you know. And I give those
Speaker 3: girls a lot of credit because I don't know if
Speaker 3: I can handle. I'm a scorpio and very jealous, so
Speaker 3: I would be like I would go south Side Chicago.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Wait, So if there was another world,
Speaker 2: would you have ever been the Bachelorette?
Speaker 3: If they asked cool, I have some gossip for you. You're
Speaker 3: ready to die that they just started the Bachelorette. I
Speaker 3: know how many years they were into it. And I
Speaker 3: was newly divorced, and I called my agent and I said,
Speaker 3: I want you to call them and I want you
Speaker 3: to pitch me as the Bachelorette. I want you to
Speaker 3: tell them that Jenny McCarthy from MTV singled out the
Speaker 3: number one dating show of all time, is single and
Speaker 3: now wants to be on the show. And I was, you,
Speaker 3: guys don't know, but my show back in the day day,
Speaker 3: I was a ball busting like shut up to the guys,
Speaker 3: like I had no fear. But I was also like
Speaker 3: genuinely looking for love. And I was like, I wouldn't
Speaker 3: make the greatest bachelorette. Of all time, and the show said, quote,
Speaker 3: we don't want famous people on the show now cut
Speaker 3: to it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, they're gonna I'm like,
Speaker 3: I would have done. You guys don't understand. I would have.
Speaker 3: It would have been the most ultimate Bachelor Nation season
Speaker 3: of all time because I would have I would have
Speaker 3: had so much fun with those boys. I would have
Speaker 3: made out with all of them, just so awesome on
Speaker 3: that show.
Speaker 1: I feel robbed. We couldn't see this all right.
Speaker 3: I'm so mad still to this day, I'm always like
Speaker 3: they missed their chance. But then Amy Schumer I saw
Speaker 3: years later, also called and said, hey, I want to
Speaker 3: be the Bachelorette, and they said the same thing to her. No,
Speaker 3: I feel like they're kind of missing out on the
Speaker 3: celebrity version. They can literally call it the celebrity version
Speaker 3: of Bachelorette, because I think I would really really do
Speaker 3: what they've got other celebrity versions of everything else. Why
Speaker 3: wouldn't you do a celebrity version of Bachelorette? But they're
Speaker 3: lost now because now I'm happily married love that.
Speaker 1: Oh No, that really would have been a season.
Speaker 4: Honestly, I do think, like you know now in modern days,
Speaker 4: I don't even like saying that, Just like now in time,
Speaker 4: I feel like they are trying to obviously as we
Speaker 4: know it, try new things and see how.
Speaker 1: Well it sticks in land.
Speaker 4: But I think, yeah, you know, there is a world
Speaker 4: where people yeah, big following or something like, you know,
Speaker 4: it could be could be helpful. I'm like, I would
Speaker 4: love to see Rob from Traders as our bachelor, Like
Speaker 4: do you know Rob ra am I saying yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: And I could do.
Speaker 3: It with the forgive me because I didn't watch the show,
Speaker 3: The Mormon wide show The Woman That Did Not Thing
Speaker 3: did not air, but that was their first attempt to
Speaker 3: cross the cross contaminate.
Speaker 1: On that one, and that's fair.
Speaker 2: Is there anyone that you would like to see in
Speaker 2: that role if they were ever to do a celebrity season?
Speaker 3: Now that Amy Schumer is single, right, didn't she get it?
Speaker 3: Just announce her divorce?
Speaker 1: Oh I did? I? Oh I might?
Speaker 3: Is that google that real quick?
Speaker 1: She would be.
Speaker 4: Hilarious, No insane, insane one fact check me on that.
Speaker 3: I couldn't make it, yeah, the dream, but she would
Speaker 3: be She would probably do all the things that I
Speaker 3: would have done if I was on the show.
Speaker 4: Oh, beyond like, it would be a completely different show
Speaker 4: if she was. You know what I would have done
Speaker 4: to completely different?
Speaker 3: I am so, but I also know how to make
Speaker 3: great TV, so it would been a little bit of
Speaker 3: me trying to find love. Me just make it out
Speaker 3: of the guys because I could, because it's okay on
Speaker 3: that show. But then also I would have fun pitting
Speaker 3: them against each other.
Speaker 1: Oh, she's like, I'm starting the pot completely. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I feel like they do a good job of that
Speaker 1: one their own. They do.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 3: But I would have been like, man, Brian really really
Speaker 3: shoved his tongue down my throat and I liked it,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Mean, Oh my gosh, this is the type of personality.
Speaker 1: This is exactly what we need.
Speaker 2: And I feel like in this role, if you did
Speaker 2: bring a celebrity on, do you think they would be
Speaker 2: okay dating just the average everyday person or do you
Speaker 2: think the contestants would have to be celebrities as well?
Speaker 3: No, I think one hundred percent celebrities want to date
Speaker 3: real people. It's just a matter of finding a real
Speaker 3: person that knows how to stay in their lane. What
Speaker 3: I mean by that is sometimes your partner can feel
Speaker 3: insecure no matter what job they have, you know, whether
Speaker 3: that be a famous even football player and an actress.
Speaker 3: But with someone, let's say, a really amazing attorney and
Speaker 3: the best in their field, they're still going to have
Speaker 3: an insecurity. So as long as the non celebrity feels
Speaker 3: good in their position and their place in life, that's
Speaker 3: what the celebrity would love to date. They you know,
Speaker 3: look at camera Dias in the cameraman right, it's like
Speaker 3: there is hope for you know, the celebrity non celebrity.
Speaker 3: It's just a matter of finding that confident guy or
Speaker 3: girl that won't get caught up in the fame drama.
Speaker 1: I agree more, I one hundred percent agree. Where do
Speaker 1: you feel like?
Speaker 4: I don't know if you've been watching Bachelor up until
Speaker 4: this point or if you've taken some pauses totally.
Speaker 3: Understands what you have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, unders Like.
Speaker 4: I guess how casting has, like I guess, changed over
Speaker 4: the years. Obviously, when like Trista was like our first bachelorette,
Speaker 4: it was very like everybody had you know, nine to fives. Obviously,
Speaker 4: social media and influencing and all of that has created
Speaker 4: such a shift in like careers and what is like,
Speaker 4: I guess deemed as like oh, what we want to
Speaker 4: see and what people want to do more of. But
Speaker 4: I also think that indirectly or directly plays a role
Speaker 4: in how the show is casting because I feel like
Speaker 4: now it adds this extra layer of like almost like
Speaker 4: people being superficial, and it's like you have to pull
Speaker 4: back that layer of like, Okay, are you really here
Speaker 4: looking for love or do you just want like a
Speaker 4: good opportunity, a good role to like make great TV.
Speaker 4: So where do you feel like casting can improve in
Speaker 4: that department of selecting to come on this show?
Speaker 3: But that's a really beautiful question, Tardan. I love the
Speaker 3: way you kind of set that up so nicely. This
Speaker 3: is if you were to ask me who my favorite
Speaker 3: bachelor of bachelrette of all time, it would be Trista.
Speaker 3: It would be Trista because she was the first one
Speaker 3: that was able to come in before the word influencer
Speaker 3: became an actual name in the dictionary. She went in
Speaker 3: there looking for true love and guess what she found it?
Speaker 3: She found it. So that's what was so great about
Speaker 3: her story, and really everyone should thank her because she
Speaker 3: proved she proved it just so happened that the first
Speaker 3: one actually it worked for but she proved to everybody
Speaker 3: else this isn't just a gimmick, This isn't a game show.
Speaker 3: You can actually find your happy labor after And to
Speaker 3: your point, the problem now is a lot of times
Speaker 3: people will make this their job, this their occupation. And
Speaker 3: you know, if you think about it, it is more
Speaker 3: difficult though to be like if you're let's say at
Speaker 3: a job you have an attorney, you're an attorney or something,
Speaker 3: you'd be like, you know, I'm leaving for three months.
Speaker 3: It's hard to leave a job to go do something
Speaker 3: for three months. You usually you find people who maybe
Speaker 3: are wanting to be influencers that have those you know,
Speaker 3: those kind of occupation or trainer. You know how many
Speaker 3: trainers have we said, because there's a life coach, so many,
Speaker 3: so many because their schedules are more open. So I
Speaker 3: can see why casting gets inundated with those, and their
Speaker 3: schedule allows them to come on the show. So it's
Speaker 3: not all casting's fault. Those are that that's the pool
Speaker 3: that's more available. The problem is that pool also is
Speaker 3: trainer slash influencer, health coach slash influencer. You know, it
Speaker 3: kind of goes with those kind of jobs. So I
Speaker 3: don't know how they can improve it other than, you know,
Speaker 3: finding people that are okay leaving their jobs and really
Speaker 3: staying away from those typical, stereotypical, you know, occupations.
Speaker 2: As someone who's been in the field as long as
Speaker 2: you have, what do you think about the current dating
Speaker 2: show to influencer to famous pipeline?
Speaker 3: You know, am I mad at it? Not? Really, it happens,
Speaker 3: it just it just is how it is today. I
Speaker 3: would like them to start out with an authentic like
Speaker 3: on this show, an authentic realness and authentic search for love,
Speaker 3: genuinely looking for it. And if they so happen to
Speaker 3: fall upon and influencer type situation, fine, you know. Like
Speaker 3: there's a story I'll tell you in a little while,
Speaker 3: unless you want to dive into it right now.
Speaker 5: I love with ears is I have a little bit
Speaker 5: of a connection with a former contestant, which is Ashley I.
Speaker 3: Ashley I who I love, We love Ashley Hi. Okay,
Speaker 3: So the story behind Ashley I, you guys, is she
Speaker 3: was my former nanny gens Son. He was my son's nanny,
Speaker 3: and of course my son was like I have the
Speaker 3: hottest nanny in the world. Okay, truly, and then one
Speaker 3: day she's like, I can't work for you anymore because
Speaker 3: and I was like, why, who's stealing you? And she's like,
Speaker 3: I got chosen to go on the Bachelor, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: no way. And I was like, listen, you're gonna do
Speaker 3: everything I tell you to do, and you're gonna make it.
Speaker 3: You're gonna just pull through. I don't know if you're
Speaker 3: gonna find love, but everyone's gonna know who Ashley I
Speaker 3: is not to this, and she was authentically looking for love.
Speaker 3: That's the thing that you can tell from Ashley I
Speaker 3: is those tears are genuine. Are they ridiculous? Of course,
Speaker 3: but they are.
Speaker 1: She's like a hopeless romantic for sure.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 6: We fell in love with her through those tears. We
Speaker 6: fell in love with her through her beautiful, ugly cry
Speaker 6: because it was real. She really have these crushes, you know.
Speaker 6: So that's what I knew going into.
Speaker 3: It is going to work for her because she's got
Speaker 3: the realness part. She did so well on that show,
Speaker 3: and she became like a little bit of an America
Speaker 3: sweetheart after that.
Speaker 1: She really did.
Speaker 2: I feel like Ashley I is such an iconic Batchelation alumni,
Speaker 2: and to know that you created Ashley is crazy.
Speaker 3: What do you think.
Speaker 2: About her now on the Real Housewives?
Speaker 3: I am so I was waiting for her to get
Speaker 3: back on reality TV because I'm like, when you have
Speaker 3: someone that is charismatic, that you like and that can
Speaker 3: cry it like crazy. She can't, and she can, and
Speaker 3: she's crying her eyes up now. So it's like, I'm
Speaker 3: so happy for her. I'm so happy for her and
Speaker 3: her beautiful little family, and she's just she was meant
Speaker 3: to do this. I just hope that, you know, I
Speaker 3: hope with any of those housewives, there seems to be
Speaker 3: like there's a there's a what is the world? I'm
Speaker 3: looking for a spell that's that comes over them, that's
Speaker 3: cast on them where there's you know, destruction, whether that
Speaker 3: be in jail, I r S, divorce. It's almost like
Speaker 3: Lord of the Rings. Do you guys ever see Lord
Speaker 3: of the Rings? But you put on the ring, it's
Speaker 3: like the evil eye goes towards you. It's like you're
Speaker 3: on that housewife. You hold whatever they want you to
Speaker 3: hold you.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, we got to protect her from this.
Speaker 1: I know, we really do.
Speaker 3: It's like, it's like and that's where. That's where with
Speaker 3: any marriage, if you have a solid foundation, you don't
Speaker 3: have to worry about that, if you truly have a
Speaker 3: solid foundation, Like Donnie and I did our own reality
Speaker 3: show not that long ago, Donnie did Wahlberger's with his brother.
Speaker 3: Then we Donnie and I did kind of a spin
Speaker 3: off with ourselves, and people would say to us all
Speaker 3: the time, I, Hey, are you worried? Are you worried
Speaker 3: about like this influencing your relationship? And we'd be like no,
Speaker 3: only because the foundation was so solid. Because when you're filming,
Speaker 3: you tender, you're exhausted, your your ego comes out a
Speaker 3: little bit. You're worried about what people think. You're worried
Speaker 3: about how you're perceived. Then if you're perceived the wrong way,
Speaker 3: are you blaming your partner, You're blaming the edit. You know,
Speaker 3: things can get really, really, really ugly. We only went
Speaker 3: three years because my son, who was also filming in
Speaker 3: the reality show, said he was turning into a teenager
Speaker 3: and he was like, if you think I'm going through
Speaker 3: puberty on start, you're out of your mind. Because there
Speaker 3: were cameras in our house all day long, like it's
Speaker 3: a real thing. Like I'd literally be like, oh and
Speaker 3: at the end of the hallway, it's like a camera
Speaker 3: guy there, you know. So I we said, okay, no more.
Speaker 3: You could still of course watch our episodes. They're still
Speaker 3: up on A and E. You can watch them. But
Speaker 3: it was it was a family decision at that point
Speaker 3: because I said, the foundation isn't built and steady for
Speaker 3: my son. It was steady for me and my husband,
Speaker 3: but it's not for my son, and I do not
Speaker 3: want to do that because we see what happens to
Speaker 3: a lot of these kids on reality shows.
Speaker 4: To me, absolutely yeah no, And like you mentioning kind
Speaker 4: of like the transition or not even transition, but there
Speaker 4: definitely is a contrast between like filming all aspects of
Speaker 4: your life, and that's like you know, cameras on all
Speaker 4: the time versus like me and Rachel or like Ashley
Speaker 4: obviously she met Jared on Paradise. But it's like we
Speaker 4: come from this like bubble where everything is just about
Speaker 4: finding love or it's about like dating and your kind
Speaker 4: of like tunnel vision on one person. But like once
Speaker 4: that bubble ends or pops and you come back to
Speaker 4: real life, or reality. That's really what I feel like
Speaker 4: is where the work really begins, which our fans don't
Speaker 4: ever really see that part.
Speaker 1: They don't get to see that part of it unfold.
Speaker 1: So what's what would be like?
Speaker 4: I guess your advice for couples, Like I met my
Speaker 4: fiance on my season of The Bachelorette, what would your
Speaker 4: advice be for couples? I guess making it sustain in
Speaker 4: the public eye, but also have this you know, genuineness
Speaker 4: or authenticity about the relationship itself and not losing sight
Speaker 4: of that.
Speaker 3: You know, that would be a very difficult transition because
Speaker 3: you're living in a mansion, all of your needs are
Speaker 3: taken care of, you have no outside influences during all
Speaker 3: of that time, You're in helicopters, You're going to fancy dinners,
Speaker 3: and it's so it's like someone let's you live the
Speaker 3: life of Cinderella and then pulls your shoes and dress
Speaker 3: away and your house and everything. It says, good buck.
Speaker 3: I mean, that would be I respect anyone that has
Speaker 3: to go through that transition. You know, it's kind of
Speaker 3: like almost like getting fired from a job. You know,
Speaker 3: I don't know most of us. I think you've at
Speaker 3: least you're fired once where you feel like your identity
Speaker 3: has been stripped away, and that's kind of feel a
Speaker 3: little bit like that too. My thing would my advice
Speaker 3: would be is to dive into the relationship even more
Speaker 3: because if you're chasing the same identity, you're trying to
Speaker 3: stay relevant, that's the word. If you're trying to stay
Speaker 3: relevant in the public versus putting in the work in
Speaker 3: the relationship, you are doomed. You are doomed now, mind
Speaker 3: you is there's still things you can do. Of course,
Speaker 3: there's you know, influencer things. There's a way to like
Speaker 3: make some money and Madrea YadA YadA, and I'm all
Speaker 3: for that. But if you put more work into that
Speaker 3: maintaining identity versus the work and you're really relationship, you're
Speaker 3: going to be in a lot of trouble. So I
Speaker 3: would say, date, talk, get into therapy. You know, Donnie
Speaker 3: and I would be when we first started dating. Actually
Speaker 3: that's the first thing I tell you to do is
Speaker 3: go from that show, go right into a therapist. When
Speaker 3: Donnie and I first started dating, we were like two
Speaker 3: months into the relationship and I said, you want to
Speaker 3: do something fun? He was like, what. I'm like, let's
Speaker 3: go see let's go see a couple's therapist. And he's like,
Speaker 3: what's wrong with us? And I'm like nothing, That's exactly
Speaker 3: why it's a great time to go because well we're older,
Speaker 3: but it doesn't matter for anybody. We all have go
Speaker 3: tos when we're in a fight, when we're feeling insecure.
Speaker 3: There's usually in a fight, there's the person that wants
Speaker 3: to talk it out and then the other person that need
Speaker 3: silent or just a silent treatment that might escape me
Speaker 3: in the room for a while. You know, we gravitate
Speaker 3: towards the opposite and sometimes, so I said, why don't
Speaker 3: we go to a couple's counselor and figure out a
Speaker 3: tool belt, a toolkit kit that we can use when
Speaker 3: the time comes when we have a disagreement when we
Speaker 3: feel like we're gonna fight, because we're going to. Even
Speaker 3: though Donnie and I I think are the poster couple
Speaker 3: for Happily ever After, we really truly are madly in
Speaker 3: love with each other after twelve years. I love it.
Speaker 3: But it's because we did the work and in that
Speaker 3: therapy session we learned who was the person that likes
Speaker 3: the silent treatment. Who is the person they need to
Speaker 3: talk right now? How do we compromise? Is there a
Speaker 3: middle when someone is so on the opposite side of
Speaker 3: the spectrum, and there was It was like you're only
Speaker 3: allowed to go in the other room for five minutes.
Speaker 3: Like you can do five minutes. If you need ten,
Speaker 3: just ask for it. But you can't do two hours.
Speaker 3: You can't do three hours. You can't do the next
Speaker 3: till the next day. You get five to ten minutes
Speaker 3: before you have to talk it out. Now, the talk
Speaker 3: it out person also needs to know they can't go
Speaker 3: on a hamsterveeal. Sometimes the talk it out person needs
Speaker 3: to repeat it over and over and over again and
Speaker 3: over We're and over and over again, and you're like,
Speaker 3: what are you doing? You're just repeating it? Have you
Speaker 3: not heard what I said? So there's a lot of
Speaker 3: those tools and the toolkit that a couple's counselors can
Speaker 3: give you early on in dating, especially if you kind
Speaker 3: of know you want this person to be here happily
Speaker 3: ever after. Go in early and learn those things. And
Speaker 3: it was so fun to learn that about each other.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry if I'm talking so much about'm keep going
Speaker 3: because this podcast is this is perfect, but it's also
Speaker 3: about in the new relationships. No matter how old you are,
Speaker 3: we tend to project whatever was in the past into
Speaker 3: the current relationship. I'm going to give you, guys a
Speaker 3: really fun example of something that Donnie and I both
Speaker 3: brought in to our relationship, and if we weren't in therapy,
Speaker 3: it could have ended us. Okay. So he would walk
Speaker 3: into a room and I would be on my phone.
Speaker 3: I'd go like this, and he wouldn't say anything, but
Speaker 3: he would just like whatever, just continue the conversation. Then
Speaker 3: I would like again, like in the room, and he
Speaker 3: walked in her mind and he'd be like, what is
Speaker 3: going on. She's obviously talking to someone. She's obsolutely cheated
Speaker 3: on me. Mind you, I've never cheated on a boyfriend
Speaker 3: my whole life. I'm a serious monogonist. But I'll get
Speaker 3: to this. So I would be throwing down my phone,
Speaker 3: hiding my phone, hiding my phone, and then he was
Speaker 3: starting he wouldn't say anything, and he was starting to
Speaker 3: push me away, like a little bit of distance between us.
Speaker 3: There was like a little bit of like milan not
Speaker 3: wanting to cuddle. And then like I'm like, hmm, he's
Speaker 3: not as like talkative as he usually is. I'm like,
Speaker 3: what is happening? What is happening? So I was like,
Speaker 3: let's go to couple's therapy and figure out what's going
Speaker 3: on me not even understanding that that was even a thing.
Speaker 3: I didn't even understand what I was doing. So we
Speaker 3: go to couples counseling and he brings it up and
Speaker 3: he's like, I feel like she might be doing something suspicious.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, I could totally
Speaker 3: see how that would look totally now. Mind you, I
Speaker 3: was coming out of an abusive relationship. That relationship, I
Speaker 3: was punished so badly. If I was on if I
Speaker 3: was on TikTok, if I was on Instagram, if I
Speaker 3: was on Twitter, I was punished the way I was
Speaker 3: not allowed to have my phone in the house in
Speaker 3: this relationship. I had a front door that they he
Speaker 3: had a front door like a casket, I called it
Speaker 3: where you had to leave your phone when you walked
Speaker 3: in the door. So if you were caught with the phone,
Speaker 3: and trust me, I guess some therapy through that one
Speaker 3: and got through that relationship, Oh my gosh. But he
Speaker 3: would not allow the phone in the house because he
Speaker 3: wanted all of my attention. It wasn't about me. Cheety
Speaker 3: was wanting my attention like this. So if I got
Speaker 3: caught in that relationship with my phone, it was like
Speaker 3: total chaos. I had PTSD. I'd post traumatic stress about
Speaker 3: being caught with my phone in the house. Then future relationships.
Speaker 3: It's probably why relationships after that did work, because I
Speaker 3: probably was doing the exact same thing and didn't even
Speaker 3: realize it. Once Donnie heard about this trauma and I
Speaker 3: expressed more about this abusive relationship I was in, he
Speaker 3: had so much empathy for me that he was like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I had no idea, you poor thing,
Speaker 3: Like how horrible. Now look at how we were able
Speaker 3: to take what could have turned into resentment, fear, and
Speaker 3: a breakup and we were able to transform that into
Speaker 3: empathy and healing. And after that it was just like
Speaker 3: I didn't have to hide my phone anymore. Like he
Speaker 3: was okay with me being on social media. He was
Speaker 3: okay me not going like this giving him every little
Speaker 3: piece of attention. So like that is a great example
Speaker 3: of how you can take that healing of therapy, of
Speaker 3: co couple's therapy and utilizing it for a successful few.
Speaker 3: So if any charity, it's a get your butts right
Speaker 3: into that.
Speaker 1: We've never left. We've been in therapy since I got
Speaker 1: off the show. So yeah, yeah, yeah, No.
Speaker 4: It's it's like everything you're saying, I'm like, I already like,
Speaker 4: was ready to go guns ablazing. I said, we're leaving
Speaker 4: this show because I knew the transition was going to
Speaker 4: be very hard, And I'm like, I obviously don't know
Speaker 4: the ins and outs of every other leads relationship, but
Speaker 4: I'm like, I could imagine that that adjustment period alone
Speaker 4: is why a lot of couples don't really make it through. Because, yes,
Speaker 4: you have this honeymoon phase, like you said, that's also
Speaker 4: your representative phase. You're putting your best foot forward to
Speaker 4: make it work until life hits you in the face
Speaker 4: and you're like, oh, I don't have what I need
Speaker 4: to get through this, and it's very very challenging, and
Speaker 4: it does take work, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It takes work from both.
Speaker 4: Ends of the partners or the people in the relationship
Speaker 4: to make it work. So listen, I'm like, I'm a
Speaker 4: very small percentage of the success story, but I'm right
Speaker 4: there with you there, Wonders yeah, so.
Speaker 3: We're both proof proof that it works. And by the way,
Speaker 3: you don't need to be on the Bachelor to have
Speaker 3: this work for you. It's never not too late, like
Speaker 3: if you've been dating for a while, if you've been
Speaker 3: married for a while, because as soon as resentment enters
Speaker 3: a relationship, you have a Sands in the hour glass
Speaker 3: before it's over. Sands because if there is any resentment,
Speaker 3: that always builds up, bleeds into it and comes out
Speaker 3: in other yucky ways and really toxifies a relationship.
Speaker 2: So well said, and you and Donnie seem so genuinely happy.
Speaker 3: But the world has.
Speaker 2: Obviously watched you, yes, go through so many different phases
Speaker 2: in chapters of love. What has changed the way you
Speaker 2: view love from back then to now?
Speaker 3: You know, I think back in the day, i've you'd
Speaker 3: love as wanting chemistry, and now I view love as
Speaker 3: wanting peace. You know that's a word, right, because to
Speaker 3: have peace in a relationship means everything. Let's define peace.
Speaker 3: What do you put underneath that? Happiness, joy, unconditional love,
Speaker 3: Like all of those things fall into place when you
Speaker 3: have peace and doesn't take work absolutely, But you know
Speaker 3: in the beginning, and it's only normal you want chemistry
Speaker 3: in the beginning, but man, if you don't have peace
Speaker 3: later on in that relationship. You know, a perfect example,
Speaker 3: my girlfriend has been dating this loser for about the
Speaker 3: same time I met Donnie, the same time she met him, Okay,
Speaker 3: and it's amazing because their relationship is so vile and
Speaker 3: they're screaming like I watched the growth of me and
Speaker 3: Donnie of just like I talked about being in this
Speaker 3: peaceful place, they're so volatile and angry and like breaking up,
Speaker 3: getting together, breaking and getting up. He's cheated on her
Speaker 3: multiple times, multiple times. If I'm like, like, you know,
Speaker 3: I've been in a other relationship for you know, two
Speaker 3: years behind your back, and then she takes him back,
Speaker 3: it's like, I'm sorry, right, It's like, if you're not
Speaker 3: doing that work on you too, you're in trouble. Girl.
Speaker 3: You are in trouble because you can't just always blame
Speaker 3: it on the guy either. So to go back to
Speaker 3: your point, me and Donnie worked also because I did
Speaker 3: the work on me and changed it from just wanting
Speaker 3: this hot maybe chemistry to wanting the ultimate prize, which
Speaker 3: is peace. That's so usaid good.
Speaker 4: Do you feel like as you have gotten older, do
Speaker 4: you feel like love is easier or loving comes easier
Speaker 4: versus how it was when you were younger, or what's
Speaker 4: your take on that.
Speaker 7: Let's then, all you youngsters out there, it gets so
Speaker 7: much easier. I mean, it gets so much easier again
Speaker 7: if you do the work in your relationship. It's let
Speaker 7: me try to explain it this way. In my twenties, thirties,
Speaker 7: even forties.
Speaker 3: It's like you are yearning, yearning, like you have all
Speaker 3: of these like expectations. That's the good word. You have
Speaker 3: all these like expectations and if they're not fulfilled, then
Speaker 3: you're sad. You stop having those when you're older. You
Speaker 3: just sit in the beauty of love. My expectations of
Speaker 3: Donnie are just the typical ones, just like, don't cheat
Speaker 3: on me, you know, respect me and adore me. That's it.
Speaker 3: I don't have all these other expectations. We just kind
Speaker 3: of sit in this flow of love. So it's just
Speaker 3: it gets so much easier because you drop all those
Speaker 3: this is what I need, this is what I need,
Speaker 3: this is what else I need. All those expectations, and
Speaker 3: remember it is not your partner's job to fix you.
Speaker 3: It is not your partner's job even to love you.
Speaker 3: If you can believe it, it's your job to love you.
Speaker 3: The bonus is he does love you. But it's the
Speaker 3: real thing is you have to truly fall in love
Speaker 3: with yourself and then everything else falls into place.
Speaker 2: Honestly, this has been such a wonderful conversation.
Speaker 1: You're like, I feel like I'm learning so much.
Speaker 2: I'm writing everything down, but going more into you and
Speaker 2: your career. You helped pave the way for The Bachelor
Speaker 2: because before that you were the host of Singled Out.
Speaker 2: What was that like creating basically dating shows?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was so much.
Speaker 3: Fun and it was also so crazy. So you know how,
Speaker 3: you guys talked and we talked about how the pool
Speaker 3: of the casting people really are only able to find
Speaker 3: people who don't have a regular job, so to speak.
Speaker 3: And I say that nicely, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: they're regular like YadA YadA. Well, my dating game show
Speaker 3: we shot four episodes a day during the day and
Speaker 3: these are all people in their young twenties. We had
Speaker 3: a van that we drove around LA. People walking down
Speaker 3: on the street who didn't get in the van to
Speaker 3: get in the van to they load the van up
Speaker 3: drive them to the studio and we'd film that and I'd.
Speaker 1: Be like, oh my goodness, it's your new date.
Speaker 3: It's like and Mike, who lives with his parents, doesn't
Speaker 3: have a job, no background. You found him in the
Speaker 3: may like someone who didn't even have teeth. We just said,
Speaker 3: don't smile when you're on camera. It was it was
Speaker 3: like it was the wild wild West of dating. And
Speaker 3: you know, we were we were a hip to the
Speaker 3: fact that it was more of an entertainment show than
Speaker 3: finding true love, because you're not going to find it
Speaker 3: in fourteen minutes. But it was fun. It was a
Speaker 3: lot of fun, and it just it had a huge impact.
Speaker 3: It was like when I say it was like one
Speaker 3: of the within the first month of the show. Just
Speaker 3: so you guys have some understanding of how big it was.
Speaker 3: I was on the cover of Rolling Stone after thirty
Speaker 3: days of airing that show. That is how like oo
Speaker 3: it was so big. And I mean, I wish it
Speaker 3: would never work today. Who had never ever ever worked today?
Speaker 2: I was going to ask what would have to change
Speaker 2: for it to work?
Speaker 3: You know, they try to revive it once and they
Speaker 3: should have asked me to do it, because they didn't
Speaker 3: ask you. They didn't ask me because I'm an old
Speaker 3: little bird. You don't eve an old little bird. But
Speaker 3: I would have rocked it. I don't. I think it
Speaker 3: would just have to be left as an entertainment show.
Speaker 3: Like I could make it work, but they said, like
Speaker 3: the network said, people don't date like that anymore. I'm like, well, honestly,
Speaker 3: it's more of an entertainment show than anything.
Speaker 1: Absolutely amazing.
Speaker 4: And you also obviously have had a rain on mass
Speaker 4: Singer as a judge. You've tracked all the celebrity clues.
Speaker 4: How has that experience been like for you? It's such
Speaker 4: a hard show.
Speaker 3: It's such a fun show, can I tell you? When
Speaker 3: they persessed me to do it, my agent was like, this,
Speaker 3: this is the dumbest show ever. You ain't doing it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, listen, I said, this checks all the boxes,
Speaker 3: which is yeah, because I like a little weird and strange.
Speaker 3: It's got celebrity, and it's got a game you can
Speaker 3: play and singing like I love listening. I'm like, this
Speaker 3: is this is going to check all the boxes. Plus,
Speaker 3: I loved that it was a family friendly show. I
Speaker 3: wanted something that my son could actually watch, something of mine.
Speaker 3: So I said yes to the show. We're we're going
Speaker 3: on season fifteen. I believe fourteen fifteen. Like that's crazy,
Speaker 3: And you know what I love you guys, is I
Speaker 3: love that.
Speaker 2: I get that.
Speaker 3: It's that we're nice. There's no Simon Cowells like we
Speaker 3: get to give everybody flowers because it's not it's not
Speaker 3: easy to get up there and sing, especially underneath the mask,
Speaker 3: even for celebrities, you know. So we don't say, like
Speaker 3: you're not going to go to Hollywood. Your hair horble?
Speaker 3: What were you even famous in the first place? That
Speaker 3: was terrible. It's not like road killed, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean? Like everything we do, we give flowers over
Speaker 3: their performances, and that makes me feel so good after
Speaker 3: the show. Plus, I am if you watch the show,
Speaker 3: I am so ultra competitive, you guys. I am so
Speaker 3: I want to call sygotic competitive. Like I got yelled
Speaker 3: at numerous times by my producers. They've come in room
Speaker 3: and said, you realize that this is just a game show, right,
Speaker 3: Like you don't want to prize Jenny because I get
Speaker 3: I get obsessed. I get like, I'm like the movie
Speaker 3: Beautiful Mind or what's that chess movie with that lady
Speaker 3: with the chess board. Whatever I get into like this
Speaker 3: crazy like mathematatic, mathemat mathematic help.
Speaker 1: Me, mathematician, Thank you, mathemat mathematician.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of that's me. At the same
Speaker 3: time I was trying to think of mathemaans. Oh, I know.
Speaker 2: It was like the equations are coming across.
Speaker 3: Yes, that is me, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 3: so sometimes I get a little crazy, but I'm still
Speaker 3: the best guesser on the show, and I plan on
Speaker 3: continuing that.
Speaker 2: I have a dream that one day Charity will go
Speaker 2: on the mass singer Who would you love to see
Speaker 2: on as a contestant?
Speaker 1: Well, now that my.
Speaker 3: Husband already showed up as someone behind the mask, I
Speaker 3: can't name him, but I also I wear my producer
Speaker 3: hat also, so I can tell you if we got
Speaker 3: someone like a Britney Spears, it would make great TV.
Speaker 3: It would make a great I think it would be
Speaker 3: so fun to have like a Britney Spears. Now my
Speaker 3: taste in music, I'd love to have Beyonce. But that's
Speaker 3: someone big.
Speaker 1: We're saying go big or go home at this point,
Speaker 1: and you're.
Speaker 3: Better ask you to have a magic wand and in
Speaker 3: a bottle. It's gonna I'm gonna say, Beyonce. Okay, of course.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's talk about your beauty brand, because as we
Speaker 4: know it, you have a beauty brand called Formless Beauty,
Speaker 4: and I am very curious, as me and Rachel are
Speaker 4: both beauty lovers.
Speaker 1: What got you into wanting to make or start your
Speaker 1: own brand.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you guys, asked, and I'm gonna be
Speaker 3: sending you some stuff so after this, make sure.
Speaker 1: I can't wait.
Speaker 3: So I started to get a lot of allergies. I'd
Speaker 3: get like skin rashes, rose, irritations, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 3: going to look into toxicity and makeup. And I wasn't
Speaker 3: ready to start a brand. I just wanted to look
Speaker 3: into the ingredients. And I was mortified, you guys. I
Speaker 3: was mortified that these clean brands, like when you go
Speaker 3: to the store and says the clean section that they're
Speaker 3: lying that, there's no regulatory agencies that are actually looking
Speaker 3: over to say yeah they're clean. There. You look under
Speaker 3: the hood, you're going to find a ton of toxins.
Speaker 3: So I was like, oh my god, there's no one
Speaker 3: I can trust. So I was like, you know, what.
Speaker 3: I'm going to start my own brand and see if
Speaker 3: anyone wants full transparency and truly clean. Okay, So I
Speaker 3: formed Formless Beauty. I started only with three glosses, and
Speaker 3: I teamed up. I don't know if you guys know
Speaker 3: who the Environmental Working Group is, but if you don't
Speaker 3: know who they are, you should all know who they
Speaker 3: are EWG dot org. This is an organization that hooks
Speaker 3: under every product and tells you what's good or bad. Okay,
Speaker 3: They've been doing this for years. Got doctors and scientists.
Speaker 3: So I called them up and I was like, yo,
Speaker 3: I want to create a beauty brand under your science.
Speaker 3: You did the work. I just want to know what
Speaker 3: not to put in, what are bad ingredients and what
Speaker 3: are good ingredients. They were like, that's awesome that you
Speaker 3: want to do that, but it's really hard. Good luck.
Speaker 3: They hitted me a book of over nine hundred pages
Speaker 3: of unacceptable ingredients and said, don't use any of these ingredients.
Speaker 3: Then they sent head to me a book of over
Speaker 3: seven hundred restricting ingredients, said don't use these. So I
Speaker 3: sat down with my cameras and was like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: how are we going to do this? So we did it.
Speaker 3: We made like our mas scara right now, it's nic
Speaker 3: lass too MASCULI. Yes, got as luck. WG verified. When
Speaker 3: you're EWG verified, what does that mean as a brand?
Speaker 3: By the way, there ain't no other celebrity brands with
Speaker 3: the EWG verification. Okay, so EWG verified means we went
Speaker 3: through the top strict, most utmost responsible testing you can
Speaker 3: possibly do for makeup. That is how clean and I
Speaker 3: respect my clients are people that don't want to get cancer,
Speaker 3: people that do have cancer. If people aren't chemo, people
Speaker 3: with loomis, lubas ms, arthritis, you name it, morsesia, all
Speaker 3: these people who care about truly clean ingredients, we have
Speaker 3: now gathered to create a much bigger brand. We're now
Speaker 3: in Sprouts, so if you're nearest Sprouts, you can go
Speaker 3: check out. Are huge because people who go to Sprouts
Speaker 3: also care about ingredients. So I highly suggest you guys
Speaker 3: trying our skincare. Our cleanser takes off your eye makeup
Speaker 3: like that without burning your eyes. It's the greatest cleanser ever.
Speaker 3: But I hope you I'm going to send it to
Speaker 3: you guys, but try the mascara. To try the mascara.
Speaker 3: We sell out constantly. By the way, we can't keep
Speaker 3: it in stock. It's our MVP because do you guys
Speaker 3: know that mostly hormone disruptors are in every master. I know.
Speaker 1: It's like the hardest thing.
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's ours, It's amazing ours doesn't have it.
Speaker 3: So if you guys are listening and want a discount code,
Speaker 3: you can put in Jenny ten to try it out
Speaker 3: that gives you ten percent off, go to formospeeda dot
Speaker 3: com and check it out and take that discount.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and Jenny, you are someone that sat in
Speaker 2: the makeup chore for years and years and years. So
Speaker 2: we are so thankful that now there's a brand that
Speaker 2: is healthy and that isn't causing anything harmful to us.
Speaker 2: So congratulations again because Sprouts is huge.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that truly cannot wait to try it. I'm excited.
Speaker 4: I'm like trying all the things and trying to get
Speaker 4: on my wellness journey and be like, you know, very
Speaker 4: adamant about it, but it's it's hard, and I love
Speaker 4: hearing your backstory. Obviously you've done the work and poured
Speaker 4: into this brand. So very excited and congratulations.
Speaker 3: Again, thank you, thank you appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Okay, we are going to play a game now. We
Speaker 1: love a game.
Speaker 4: We always in most of our episodes with the game.
Speaker 4: So we are gonna name one of your projects and
Speaker 4: ask a rapid fire question that goes with it.
Speaker 1: So okay, off yeah, okay, first one.
Speaker 2: Mass singer, what was the best costume?
Speaker 3: The best costume? That's a great question. So probably there's
Speaker 3: probably the snail. We had a snail that came on
Speaker 3: and it was like, oh my god, because it was
Speaker 3: like really kind of small to the ground but it
Speaker 3: was still like it was still like four feet high.
Speaker 3: But you know who was inside the snail? Oh, Kermit
Speaker 3: the frog. I didn't know what thing a Oh my god.
Speaker 1: By the way, you guys, when when that's actually crazy.
Speaker 3: When we were listening to them saying and I'm doing this,
Speaker 3: I said to Robin, I said, Robin, I don't mean
Speaker 3: to sound I don't want to tell him, but he
Speaker 3: sounds like he sounds like Kermit. But I didn't want
Speaker 3: to save that out loud to offend, and it really
Speaker 3: have to be comet.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, funny.
Speaker 4: Wait, Okay, I'm like I need to go back because
Speaker 4: I didn't even know that that was the thing. So
Speaker 4: I have to go back there and watch that, Okay.
Speaker 1: The view hardest part of live TV.
Speaker 3: The hardest part of live TV is when you have
Speaker 3: mental cramps or when you're sick. When you're sick and
Speaker 3: you still got to get it up, like you're not
Speaker 3: sick and you got one hundred and four fever. That's tough.
Speaker 3: That's really tough.
Speaker 2: No, literally, working woman, all right. Last one Scary Movie three.
Speaker 2: Who was the funniest person on set?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, Pamela and I were the only ones
Speaker 3: in our scenes. I basically was the one that was
Speaker 3: that got killed. But to me, Pamela's delivery it was
Speaker 3: so good. It was so good when she asked me
Speaker 3: if I'm okay after my head's been decapitated and like,
Speaker 3: and she keeps asking me, are you okay?
Speaker 5: Good?
Speaker 3: Like it's so hilarious, Like she's actually really really funny.
Speaker 3: I didn't have anybody else on set to compare it to,
Speaker 3: but me and her had a ball shooting.
Speaker 2: That that scene is burned into my memory from my childhood.
Speaker 2: Like I think we watched Scar Movie through all the time.
Speaker 3: It was so so funny.
Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness. Well, thank you Jinny so much. This
Speaker 1: interview was such a joy. We are taking all of
Speaker 1: your knowledge, your experience, everything. We are just so grateful
Speaker 1: that you were able to join us on a Happy Hour.
Speaker 1: Where can people and our listeners follow you or keep
Speaker 1: up with you.
Speaker 3: Well, you can follow my social media, which is pretty
Speaker 3: much Jenny McCarthy everywhere except for TikTok. I'm missus Wahlberg.
Speaker 3: But I'm also launching my own podcast in October, so
Speaker 3: you guys can check out our website. Yeah for more information,
Speaker 3: So check me out, follow me there, and here's two.
Speaker 3: Maybe I'll have you guys on we'll do some Bachelor
Speaker 3: Nation breakdowns. That would be amazing.
Speaker 2: And congratulations to your new podcast to Foremost Beauty, and
Speaker 2: thank you again for being here. And make sure you
Speaker 2: guys rate, review, subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast
Speaker 2: and follow us on Bachelor Happy Ar'm Bachelor you channels.
Speaker 3: See you guys later. Thanks guys,