Speaker 1: The Nicky Gliser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh Niki Glaser Poser's Nikki.
Speaker 3: Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's the
Speaker 3: Nicki Guiser Podcast. Making my volumes all right, So lately
Speaker 3: I've been feeling like I look like a cucumber, and
Speaker 3: I can't I can't get over it. Like I like,
Speaker 3: right now, if you guys, like look on the YouTube,
Speaker 3: like whenever I have straight, long hair and it falls
Speaker 3: in front, like my head doesn't have enough of like
Speaker 3: uh when and I actually have extra weight on right
Speaker 3: now and it really gets jolly, and I feel like
Speaker 3: around my head and then down cucumber.
Speaker 4: Kirsten is laughing right now. She's listening to this podcast.
Speaker 3: I know for a fact because one time in high
Speaker 3: school I said I looked like a cucumber, and she
Speaker 3: laughed in such a way that you know it's real,
Speaker 3: you know, like when you say something. That's how I
Speaker 3: always test, like if I if something is off with me,
Speaker 3: I'll say the truest thing, and Kirsten's always the one
Speaker 3: that I can see through it. I'll be like, I
Speaker 3: look like an anemic ghost, and She'll be like no,
Speaker 3: like she will start so if I I just can't
Speaker 3: stop looking like a cucumber. Yesterday I had my hair
Speaker 3: makeup done and I was just like, can you curl
Speaker 3: my hair so that it looks like there's a curl
Speaker 3: right under my ear so it looks like the cucumber
Speaker 3: has a little.
Speaker 4: Shape to it, because if it's just flat.
Speaker 5: Cucumber like Ernie's head, like veggietails, like veggietails.
Speaker 3: If you did my silhouette with my hair, yes, but
Speaker 3: it has it has the girth of a cucumber, not
Speaker 3: a hot dog, you know, like it could.
Speaker 4: Be a hot dog.
Speaker 3: And I just feel more like a Do you guys
Speaker 3: ever have that where you like look like Anya, I
Speaker 3: know you've been having the teeth thing in the mirror
Speaker 3: where every time you look in the mirror you see something.
Speaker 3: Do you guys have anything where you're like, God, damn it,
Speaker 3: I look like like there's some object or animal you
Speaker 3: feel like you look like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I have a cucumber thing too. I
Speaker 2: don't see you in cucumber mode right now. But there
Speaker 2: is a photo of me when I'm a child. There's
Speaker 2: a picture of me as a kid, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this picture totally perfectly illustrates all of
Speaker 2: my issues with my head and my hair. I have
Speaker 2: an oval head. It's an egghead. I cannot escape that.
Speaker 2: You can't change your skin.
Speaker 6: You sid to me the other day of you where
Speaker 6: you were like we were I want baby chat off one?
Speaker 5: Is that.
Speaker 1: Your hair?
Speaker 2: Catherine? Why?
Speaker 4: Why is that your hair? That's from Beep? One of
Speaker 4: the best lines in viep. But do you see it.
Speaker 3: Was a little bit I'm gonna be mean right now, downzy,
Speaker 3: Can I be mean to your because you are so beautiful?
Speaker 3: You look like Mars attacks, you know, like how the
Speaker 3: aliens have a bigger upper portion. Yeah, like I think
Speaker 3: you came out of the birth canal and she squeezed
Speaker 3: halfway through when your head was out and it's all
Speaker 3: It's all fine.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 4: I would never say this if this was still your head.
Speaker 2: Well, I think I'm doing girl that Robin does to
Speaker 2: your hair when they comb the back.
Speaker 4: What is that called a back home comb?
Speaker 7: Backcomb? Is this kid doing a backcomb?
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a little bit of a pump coming off
Speaker 4: the back.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think he just had a ponytail and it went
Speaker 3: like boom, pumped it up a little bit.
Speaker 4: Brian, do you have any like as a man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, are there anything so physically about yourself that you're
Speaker 3: just like, ah, Yeah. The other day Brian did come
Speaker 3: in and just took off his jacket feverishly.
Speaker 4: This is so funny.
Speaker 3: He ran in the room, he gets here to my room,
Speaker 3: he takes off his jacket and he just stands in
Speaker 3: front of me and goes, look, yeah, what do you see?
Speaker 4: And I go, I don't know, and you go, my shoulder,
Speaker 4: Look at my shoulder.
Speaker 3: His shoulder is like a half an inch lower than
Speaker 3: the other one. So he had like a shoulder issue.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm an injury.
Speaker 5: I went to the doctor for it because one of
Speaker 5: my I strained a muscle and it was insane because
Speaker 5: my shoulder I could not keep it up, like it
Speaker 5: was not staying up the level.
Speaker 1: And so if I just sat it's still kind of
Speaker 1: like it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can see it if I just.
Speaker 5: Sit there, Normally I have to like physically try to
Speaker 5: hold it up because the muscle is still injured.
Speaker 4: So about something what botox?
Speaker 7: Did you get Barbie botox?
Speaker 2: That's where women are injecting stuff into their shoulder, but.
Speaker 1: Drew without having it's not it's not aesthetic.
Speaker 4: Is it hard for you to like tell people you
Speaker 4: don't care about something when you.
Speaker 1: Go it's only one shoulder shrug. Now it looks like
Speaker 1: I'm going to dance.
Speaker 6: Looks like what's his name, Big Bobby Bopper? What's the
Speaker 6: guy that helped you dance?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Big Bobby Bopper. Ryan hip Hop Henning.
Speaker 4: Okay, I got I'm so close. Darian hip Hop Henning. Okay.
Speaker 1: Uh Kappa who tried to kill me for nothing?
Speaker 3: Okay, So back to the question, is there any Do
Speaker 3: you ever have a thing where you like look in
Speaker 3: the mirror and you go like, oh, I'm really this today.
Speaker 5: Well, you know what I do have is that the
Speaker 5: mirror in my room, especially when I'm sitting in this chair.
Speaker 5: I look at that mirror and I always am like, damn,
Speaker 5: that's the best I've ever looked whenever I look in
Speaker 5: that mirror. And I don't look like that in any
Speaker 5: other mirror in the world or in real life. But
Speaker 5: for some reason, this mirror is like, Man, I'm like,
Speaker 5: I go from like a six to a seven in
Speaker 5: that mirror.
Speaker 4: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: Is it?
Speaker 4: Maybe the lighting is it?
Speaker 3: And there are definitely mirrors that make you thinner, But
Speaker 3: I don't think you want to look thinner, you're already
Speaker 3: a slender man.
Speaker 7: Yeah, maybe question is it yours?
Speaker 2: Is it that side of your face that's like your
Speaker 2: best side? Like, what if you turn around and show
Speaker 2: because right now you're showing the right side of your face.
Speaker 2: Can you turn around in the mirror look at the
Speaker 2: left side of your face and also be just the
Speaker 2: left side.
Speaker 1: Of my face is the better side, So it's actually
Speaker 1: showing me the bad side of my face?
Speaker 4: How do you you guys know the better side of
Speaker 4: your face.
Speaker 2: It's just hard for me because I just like all
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 8: Okay, you do both the right side of my face,
Speaker 8: I see whoa, Okay, your left side.
Speaker 4: I go with your left side.
Speaker 1: My left side, I see clearly better.
Speaker 4: Whoh how did that?
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's just a more like you're sweeter. His left
Speaker 6: side looks sweeter.
Speaker 1: Yeah both. Wow. I don't know why.
Speaker 5: It's just better and there's nothing you can do to
Speaker 5: really step your game up on that. It's just kind
Speaker 5: of like how everything fell into blair surgery.
Speaker 4: My makeup girl.
Speaker 3: The other day, I was like my wing wing of
Speaker 3: the eyeliner that I always do wings now, which I
Speaker 3: think might be Asian cultural appropriation. I'm not sure, but
Speaker 3: I think that's something that could get us canceled eventually.
Speaker 3: But when she did my wing and I was like,
Speaker 3: it's one is way lower than the other. And I
Speaker 3: was kind of like mad about because I was in
Speaker 3: a bad mood. I was just nitpicking, and that's what
Speaker 3: I always doing when I'm in a bad mood. It's
Speaker 3: just like nothing's right. But I wasn't like, don't think
Speaker 3: I'm like a bitch and yelling at her. She's very sweet,
Speaker 3: and I was like, I just think this one's lower, Leah,
Speaker 3: and she was like, oh, yeah, we do that one
Speaker 3: lower because your eyes are like different. They like one
Speaker 3: is on camera it looks like it's the same, but
Speaker 3: I have been doing one different because your eyes are different.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh, that's the side of my face
Speaker 4: I sleep on. She brings the other one up.
Speaker 3: That the one that was lower is my good eye,
Speaker 3: so she could do it at a normal thing, and
Speaker 3: the other one she's got to bring scoop up.
Speaker 2: And I'm just shocked, you've only discovered this now at
Speaker 2: thirty nine.
Speaker 4: What do you mean I've I mean, what's been doing
Speaker 4: Like I have to do.
Speaker 2: Makeup on different sides of my face ever since I
Speaker 2: started doing makeup. Yeah, like one eyebrow does the thing
Speaker 2: I love. The other eyebrow is a problem child needs.
Speaker 6: Hell.
Speaker 4: I just don't memorize what it is.
Speaker 3: I know that when every time I do my makeup,
Speaker 3: I do different things to match and stuff, But I
Speaker 3: don't memorize when someone's like when I take shows that
Speaker 3: pictures after shows, people are like, what side do you
Speaker 3: want to be?
Speaker 4: What side is your best side? And I'm always like
Speaker 4: I don't. I don't really know.
Speaker 3: And it's not because I'm like it's all so good.
Speaker 3: I know there's one that's better. I just don't memorize it.
Speaker 3: And I should because I had my picture taken a
Speaker 3: fuck ton and I'm very upset with many photos unless
Speaker 3: how advertising veggietails live.
Speaker 6: You're lucky because you can photograph from the front really well.
Speaker 6: I feel like not a lot of people have that.
Speaker 6: You have kind of have to like shift to the
Speaker 6: side to look a little bit better, but you actually
Speaker 6: take a really nice photo straight on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, and mugshots sides.
Speaker 3: I have had really good license pictures. I have to say,
Speaker 3: really proud of them. Yeah, where I've been like, damn
Speaker 3: that was that was a good day, like all of
Speaker 3: them have been well. In fact, one time I used
Speaker 3: my license as my Like back in the day, you
Speaker 3: had to have like business cards in comedy, Brian, you
Speaker 3: remember that were you around and there was like you
Speaker 3: had to make business for some reason. Everyone was making
Speaker 3: business cards in like two thousand and nine.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I had a business card.
Speaker 3: Anya, you probably had a music My business card was
Speaker 3: my license picture. Like I just did my license and
Speaker 3: I made the I made the weight ninety eight and
Speaker 3: I made like the you know, I just like changed
Speaker 3: a little thing about it, but it was my It
Speaker 3: was such such a good picture.
Speaker 4: I was like, let's use it.
Speaker 5: I had a business card and uh, I made it
Speaker 5: look like well, on one side, I made it look
Speaker 5: like a restaurant and uh, it's in their name of
Speaker 5: the restaurant was comedy. And then underneath it said free delivery.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is like your WGA sign.
Speaker 1: I think I got that bad.
Speaker 4: It's no, no, it's good. It's good.
Speaker 3: It's very cute. Brian and I wrote a joke yesterday.
Speaker 3: I like, I guess I wrote a joke and then
Speaker 3: Brian wanted to tell me like he was looking at
Speaker 3: my act and he was like that joke, just like,
Speaker 3: are you sure about that joke? Like, and I was
Speaker 3: just like, what do you mean, Brian? He's like, I
Speaker 3: don't know, Like do you think it maybe is just
Speaker 3: a joke that doesn't really that's maybe someone else would tell.
Speaker 3: And he gave like an example of someone who's kind
Speaker 3: of hacky, and I was like, well that's all you.
Speaker 4: Had to say. I'm taking it out. I'm not gonna
Speaker 4: do it, just mention the rights and yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 4: I didn't really.
Speaker 3: I'm aware of the person he mentioned, but I wasn't
Speaker 3: aware of her material. And now this girl doesn't have
Speaker 3: a shot in hell forever opening for me, because now
Speaker 3: Brian ruined. If she ever no, no, if she ever
Speaker 3: wrote me, I would look at her material first. Actually
Speaker 3: I don't really care. I don't look at the people
Speaker 3: people who I'm actually not gonna say what I'm about
Speaker 3: to say because I don't want people writing me and
Speaker 3: asking for spots. But I generally don't like review tapes.
Speaker 3: When people are like, hey, can I open for you,
Speaker 3: I kind of just look and see if they look
Speaker 3: confident in their clips, Like I don't like watch it,
Speaker 3: I just go like, oh, because I think most of
Speaker 3: standard comedy is not being funny, it's being confident.
Speaker 1: Sure, agreed.
Speaker 4: I mean, like, if you just.
Speaker 3: Look comfortable on stage, if you just look you could
Speaker 3: be not funny at all. And as long as you're
Speaker 3: comfortable on stage, it's gonna come off to the audience
Speaker 3: like you're good.
Speaker 4: It's just it tricks me.
Speaker 1: Even the industry too.
Speaker 5: I mean, there's a certain there's a contingent of comedians
Speaker 5: that have come out in the last five years who
Speaker 5: don't tell any jokes. They just they're just very confident,
Speaker 5: leaning on a stool and sitting in silence, and everyone
Speaker 5: in the industry thinks they're a genius because they're not
Speaker 5: uncomfortable at all.
Speaker 2: Well, but if you get the right bomber jacket, he
Speaker 2: just brace the stage slowly.
Speaker 3: Andrew and I used to make fun of certain comedians
Speaker 3: that do this thing where they go, I just want
Speaker 3: to repeat it in case people forgot, because I still
Speaker 3: love it because it is such a device, and I
Speaker 3: want everyone to be aware to not laugh when people
Speaker 3: do this when they go like when they.
Speaker 6: Go, you know what.
Speaker 4: I've got some thoughts about Britney spears. You know, I'm
Speaker 4: not gonna say it.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 4: I don't want to get canceled not doing it.
Speaker 3: Then the audience goes, come on, they go, no, man,
Speaker 3: I can't, I can't please, and they like run around.
Speaker 3: And then if you as an audience are involved in
Speaker 3: begging the performer to do something you are now investing,
Speaker 3: you could literally.
Speaker 6: He could just go.
Speaker 3: He could say nothing after that, and you will still
Speaker 3: like it. That's why crowds think that they've somehow influenced
Speaker 3: Taylor Swift. Like Taylor Swift when they after Champagne Problems
Speaker 3: and the Era's tour, they all scream for like, I
Speaker 3: think the longest it's been a seven minutes.
Speaker 4: After it and and they all it's it's device.
Speaker 3: And I don't think Taylor's like wielding it in a
Speaker 3: in a way that like comedians the comedians I'm talking
Speaker 3: about do where it's just they don't really have materials,
Speaker 3: so they're they're manipulating the crowd. Taylor's just like being
Speaker 3: nice to the crowd because she wants the crowd to
Speaker 3: feel like they're in on it, but she's in control there.
Speaker 3: And I've said this, like Taylor could shut up a
Speaker 3: crowd in two seconds by talking. But if she doesn't
Speaker 3: talk and just keeps looking to the side, like and
Speaker 3: she actually is being she every single time. I don't
Speaker 3: think she's being fake being like ah, people make fun
Speaker 3: of her sometimes of being like she's just always shocked
Speaker 3: by everything, but I honestly think that she is truly
Speaker 3: appreciative and in the moment for these things, like she's
Speaker 3: still like the thirteen year old girl who's like trying
Speaker 3: to make it and can't believe she did. So I'm
Speaker 3: not saying that she does that, but I don't think
Speaker 3: people understand how much artists can like manipulate you. Are
Speaker 3: there any things that you can think of, Brian, that
Speaker 3: comedians do that really bother.
Speaker 5: You we're talking. I don't know if it really bothers me.
Speaker 5: But a manipulation tactic is laughing at your own jokes.
Speaker 1: I think it was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, there are some comics it really is
Speaker 5: a flaw because they'll just laugh after every single joke
Speaker 5: because they're jakes aren't funny. And then and then some
Speaker 5: master comedians like Dave Chappelle have like perfectly timed moments
Speaker 5: where they break and they laugh and you know, Dave Chappelle.
Speaker 5: I think it almost like invented this in the modern era,
Speaker 5: where he like laughs and slaps the microphone on his
Speaker 5: knee and like, yeah, they're not really laughing, come on,
Speaker 5: seven thousand times. It's not like this is the first time.
Speaker 5: They're like, oh my god, I just realized it's funny. Yes.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then the other one I've been seeing, what was
Speaker 3: I just gonna say, shit, it's a good one. Fuck okay,
Speaker 3: So the fake laughing and then stand up like to
Speaker 3: get everyone to yeah it's no. That one's pretty good
Speaker 3: where you you you wait after your set and then
Speaker 3: everyone stands to give you a standing ovation because they
Speaker 3: don't know what else to do because you're just standing
Speaker 3: out there.
Speaker 4: That's a good one. But there's one, Oh man.
Speaker 3: What was it.
Speaker 5: Where you set up the crowd to say something and
Speaker 5: then you pretend, uh, oh, I know that's the first
Speaker 5: time you've ever heard of say that.
Speaker 4: You'll know this one, okay.
Speaker 3: It's a lot of comedians used to do it, including me,
Speaker 3: because you just you don't even realize you're doing it
Speaker 3: because you just absorb it from watching other comedians and
Speaker 3: see how much it works. But you hit a punchline
Speaker 3: and then you immediately go okay. So and then I
Speaker 3: told him, don't put the almond milk in my iced coffee.
Speaker 3: Uh like you say ah, after you hit a punchline,
Speaker 3: start paying attention. So many comedians do this thing. Do
Speaker 3: you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 5: On you?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 7: Yes, punchline it's some kind of sound or I don't
Speaker 7: mind that.
Speaker 2: I don't mind any like under your breath talking like
Speaker 2: and punchlines.
Speaker 4: So that's what I do.
Speaker 8: I do that.
Speaker 3: I like that, but I do that because I like that.
Speaker 3: The audience has to shut up to listen to it.
Speaker 3: They can't like keep laughing and they have to go like,
Speaker 3: wait what she's saying. It's giving you more context. But
Speaker 3: I think there are lots of really good comedians that
Speaker 3: get caught in the uh.
Speaker 4: Trap.
Speaker 3: Go listen to your I wish I could give examples
Speaker 3: without calling names out, because actually, someone I was listening
Speaker 3: to the other day who I really love his stand up,
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, he's an awe guy.
Speaker 4: And it's a cue.
Speaker 3: It tells the audience it's time to laugh right now.
Speaker 3: It tells you the joke is over.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 5: It also simulates like you're you're speaking off the cuff
Speaker 5: like you're just thinking of these things and you're in
Speaker 5: a flow state. So it's like if you just went,
Speaker 5: here's my punchline, and then waited, it sounds less natural.
Speaker 5: Then here's my punchline, because then it feels like you're
Speaker 5: having a conversation.
Speaker 3: But after a while, it's Pavlov's dogs and they hear
Speaker 3: awe and they start salvating, and so they just know
Speaker 3: that's the cue. Laugh, laugh, laugh, And this whole podcast
Speaker 3: has just turned into sub talking shit, like talking shit,
Speaker 3: like not revealing who.
Speaker 4: I love this stuff.
Speaker 2: This is interesting to me.
Speaker 4: People could come at me for so many things I do.
Speaker 3: I'm sure that I mean, I'm never intentionally doing something
Speaker 3: to be like, I can say that truly about myself.
Speaker 3: I never try to get attention for something I don't deserve. Ever,
Speaker 3: that's that's the only virtuous thing about me besides me
Speaker 3: saving animals all the time, including B A B this morning.
Speaker 3: Only things that I can trust myself about where I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm never cringey and I'm never like I'll put I'll
Speaker 3: tap myself on the pat myself on the back is
Speaker 3: I will never That's why I don't look at audience
Speaker 3: members in the eyes because they will be forced to laugh,
Speaker 3: and I don't want them to ever laugh. I don't
Speaker 3: want anyone to do anything that they don't want to
Speaker 3: do ever, because it's manipulative.
Speaker 5: I only recently that if you look an audience member
Speaker 5: in the eye, you like kind of activate them for
Speaker 5: a section of your ass.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because they get nervous and they go because they
Speaker 3: don't want you to go. What what are you frowned about?
Speaker 3: Are you having fun? Tell your face? So they go.
Speaker 4: And they just laugh.
Speaker 3: They don't even know what they're laughing at. It's like
Speaker 3: an insane thing that happens when you look at them,
Speaker 3: and I don't.
Speaker 4: It makes you so uncomfortable.
Speaker 5: Someone in the eyes in the audits I also pull
Speaker 5: out a knife. Yeah, and they laughed nervously too.
Speaker 4: I did save a bee this morning.
Speaker 3: I saw a bee struggling on the sidewalk, just like
Speaker 3: kind of like, I don't know, he had a rough
Speaker 3: night and he was walking home early in the morning,
Speaker 3: walk of shame, and he's on the sidewalk he was
Speaker 3: gonna get trampled on. He just looked lethargic, and I
Speaker 3: read somewhere that if you get a spoon and put
Speaker 3: water and sugar in it, then they and they will
Speaker 3: regenerate like they're just about to die because there's no
Speaker 3: flowers for them or whatever. And bees we have to
Speaker 3: save them as much as possible. But the truth thing is,
Speaker 3: get honey or a gave and these these these make
Speaker 3: it panic. I went over, it's weird that they like
Speaker 3: eat honey even though they make it. Wait, hold on, no,
Speaker 3: they aren't honey. I was gonna say they're cannibalistic, but
Speaker 3: that bees aren't honey.
Speaker 7: Isn't it their vomit?
Speaker 4: Maybe? Yeah?
Speaker 3: So I went into the coffee shop that was like
Speaker 3: a you know, a couple of feet from where I
Speaker 3: saw the dead bee almost dead bee, and I was like,
Speaker 3: can I get some money in?
Speaker 6: They're like, we have a gave. I was like, is
Speaker 6: that like fake sugar? And they're like, no, I don't
Speaker 6: think so.
Speaker 3: So I these bees, if you put a little bit
Speaker 3: of a gave on the sidewalk, it immediately was like
Speaker 3: and it saw it and it went over and it
Speaker 3: was like and it was like sipping it up and
Speaker 3: I could see it like regenerating back to life. And
Speaker 3: then it was able to fly away, and it was
Speaker 3: truly gonna die there on the sidewalk. It was like
Speaker 3: not doing anything. It was just so I like, saved
Speaker 3: to be today. I saved to be the other day
Speaker 3: from the hurricane. It slept in my apartment for the
Speaker 3: night or in my hotel room. I put it in
Speaker 3: a jar. I put a leaf in there, some honey,
Speaker 3: and I had a bee for the night, and then
Speaker 3: he flew away in the morning. I do put them
Speaker 3: on my hand and let them fly away. They're not
Speaker 3: going to sting you if you're gentle. They they would
Speaker 3: never do that. And it's so satisfying. That's why I go,
Speaker 3: I don't need kids. The feeling I got from giving
Speaker 3: this bee nurturing, nurture, sustenance and it's flying away and
Speaker 3: having a life because I intervened, and just having a
Speaker 3: connection with a bee where I looked at it and
Speaker 3: it's cleaning its little tentacles and it like its eyes
Speaker 3: kind of seem like it's looking at me.
Speaker 4: I don't need kit. I just I that is enough
Speaker 4: for me.
Speaker 6: I'm like full today and that love tan't Yeah, Like
Speaker 6: that's all that's all I need.
Speaker 3: I just need to keep myself around animals and I
Speaker 3: won't need kids. Okay, we're gonna go to break and we'll.
Speaker 4: Be back after this.
Speaker 3: Over the weekend, Kirsten went to go visit our alma mater, Lawrence, Kansas,
Speaker 3: where I'm gonna be actually coming up on my tour,
Speaker 3: my tour that is starting kicking off in Chicago and
Speaker 3: September fifteenth, the Chicago Theater Peoria on the sixteenth, and
Speaker 3: then after that, I don't know where that It's like
Speaker 3: going so many places.
Speaker 4: Anya will be there, New merch will be there and
Speaker 4: design it's so cool. Yeah, it's gonna be my shirt.
Speaker 3: And if he plays a world tour and it's like
Speaker 3: a skull with a microphone and but it looks like
Speaker 3: there's a news on it too, like it's like it's
Speaker 3: pretty bad.
Speaker 6: A cucumber.
Speaker 3: Cucumber, Please do not bring cucumbers to me on tour.
Speaker 3: I don't want any reference to it. It really triggers me.
Speaker 3: I hate leaking with a cucumber. I just feel like
Speaker 3: a book clay cucumber with holes. On some days.
Speaker 4: I just look clay sometimes where it's like there's.
Speaker 3: Nothing on my face except holes that someone someone like
Speaker 3: rubbed clay in some rocks.
Speaker 4: Okay, so.
Speaker 2: October twenty went to our school, what is it, October
Speaker 2: twenty ninth, Laurence, Kans.
Speaker 4: October twenty ninth.
Speaker 3: Okay, so look out on October twenty nine, because I'm
Speaker 3: probably gonna do the exact same thing that Kirsten did
Speaker 3: the other day when she was in Laurence, Kansas.
Speaker 4: And we've done this before.
Speaker 3: When Kirston and I visited, we every college kid is
Speaker 3: like out on you know, out in the front yard.
Speaker 3: This is like, you know, first couple of weeks of school.
Speaker 3: All these college kids are partying on their lawns like
Speaker 3: it's classic college town. And Kirsten's driving by in her
Speaker 3: Honda CRV. And we originally did this years ago when
Speaker 3: we visited and we were it was at night time
Speaker 3: and kids were like waiting outside in lines to get
Speaker 3: into bars, like all these young kids, and we just
Speaker 3: kept saying, so these kids as wait tro five Cursy
Speaker 3: came up with it, but just saying because it's like
Speaker 3: a car that a mom would drive, So we just
Speaker 3: kept saying, Mama's home to these kids, and they would
Speaker 3: just look confused. So Kirsten did it the other day
Speaker 3: and she added to it. And so I just wanted
Speaker 3: to play some of these. Noa, I'll play them on
Speaker 3: my phone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, here we go. Okay, okay, that's the first one.
Speaker 4: She's going past a frat. Here's another, and here's where
Speaker 4: we lived.
Speaker 3: Wait wait that let's heart just telling us where we lived. Okay, Wait,
Speaker 3: it gets buried. I swear it gets better. Okay, that's
Speaker 3: a little different. Hold on, it gets better, Mama's I
Speaker 3: realize there's so many of the same one. Okay, I
Speaker 3: swear to get married. Gribe what's going on.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: There's like a bunch of hot girls in like that
Speaker 3: are in booty shorts and bikini tops, carrying pizza boxes
Speaker 3: like in a line. Another one is like a bunch
Speaker 3: of kids like on the front lawn doing like keg stands,
Speaker 3: and there's like tons.
Speaker 6: Of things together. There's like a tramp like those like
Speaker 6: fun castle things.
Speaker 3: Yes, this one is like a kid carrying like a
Speaker 3: beer pong table and like setting up beer pong.
Speaker 6: They'll turn their heads just like what.
Speaker 4: And then this one is let's see what's happening.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's just a bunch of cool frat guys setting
Speaker 3: up a like corn hole in their front.
Speaker 9: Yard straight as this year, she's just being encouraging, okay.
Speaker 3: And then this one is, oh, this is a huge party,
Speaker 3: girls playing cornhole, all in their bikinis. Kids, there's a
Speaker 3: bouncy castle thing. There's like a it's there's probably like
Speaker 3: fifty girls and.
Speaker 6: Twenty guys on a But it starts off, it starts
Speaker 6: I think if this is the same video, it starts
Speaker 6: off with like one girl filming another girl who's on her.
Speaker 4: That one is she didn't she didn't say anything in
Speaker 4: that one.
Speaker 6: Oh, okay, that.
Speaker 4: One's really funny.
Speaker 3: There's a girl twerking in front of a house and
Speaker 3: another girl filming her for TikTok and it's so funny.
Speaker 4: But this one is just a huge party on the
Speaker 4: front lawn.
Speaker 3: Stay safe tonight, just make good choices, don't drink and drive,
Speaker 3: just get great straining.
Speaker 4: Yourselves.
Speaker 3: So, if you guys want to start this trend, if
Speaker 3: you live in a college area, when there's kids up
Speaker 3: front and like cool kids having a party, if you
Speaker 3: want to tell them to get straight a is tell
Speaker 3: them mama's home, daddy's home, be yourselves, don't do drugs.
Speaker 3: I think it's just a really good trend, and we
Speaker 3: should start it where we just you know, it's a
Speaker 3: drive by screaming of encouraging things for these college kids
Speaker 3: study hard.
Speaker 6: For sleep shifts, patriarchy.
Speaker 4: Take you down, Alice. This girl's like like, look at
Speaker 4: this video of this girl fully twerking.
Speaker 6: Wait, no, do you have it?
Speaker 4: Because I don't think I saved that one.
Speaker 1: Be Yourselves is a really good one.
Speaker 5: I mean, I remember is walking past this event and
Speaker 5: there was like a college orientation happening for USC, and
Speaker 5: I just I could see visibly kids not being themselves,
Speaker 5: like trying to present themselves in a certain way, and
Speaker 5: it made me feel just like I was so sad.
Speaker 1: I remember. It reminded me of me when I went
Speaker 1: to college when I first went, and I was like, man,
Speaker 1: just know.
Speaker 4: I found it.
Speaker 6: Go ahead, Okay, Yeah, I guess I didn't save it because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like that's oh that's for TikTok.
Speaker 7: Thought.
Speaker 6: Oh my hold on, I don't think I would have
Speaker 6: ever done that because it's right next door to a party.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's TikTok. Guys, you that's quite a significant.
Speaker 3: Bad I'm so this makes me like, so if we
Speaker 3: were just showing a video of the party that's happening
Speaker 3: on this lawn. It makes me so nostalgic. Like I
Speaker 3: know that a lot of us are probably like Brian,
Speaker 3: You're just saying it gives you anxiety. It makes you
Speaker 3: reminds you of like a time in your life you
Speaker 3: didn't know who you were and you were just struggling
Speaker 3: to find an identity.
Speaker 4: I like, am so jealous. I want to go back,
Speaker 4: And maybe I want to go back because I know
Speaker 4: who I am now and I want to do that.
Speaker 6: Like man, I like, I.
Speaker 3: Really I get so jealous of college kids that I
Speaker 3: almost like can't even watch those videos.
Speaker 4: It really affects me. I guess there was.
Speaker 6: There was one message in Girls' Chap from Kirston though,
Speaker 6: She's like, I bet all those kids are like riddled
Speaker 6: with anxiety. They're at that party, but they don't know
Speaker 6: how to act, you know, because they all have to
Speaker 6: like make first impressions and stuff. And I think that's
Speaker 6: probably it. They're not having a good time.
Speaker 1: I think they're having a good time. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think there's they are.
Speaker 4: There's a lack and they're like hanging out.
Speaker 1: I got their whole lives ahead of them. They're so
Speaker 1: excited right now.
Speaker 5: Perhaps there's anxiety and they're going to do embarrassing things
Speaker 5: like when I wrote a keg down a river or
Speaker 5: when I was weird, Like, you'll do stuff like that,
Speaker 5: but you're not necessarily having a bad time.
Speaker 1: You're just like I was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I had the best time.
Speaker 3: I loved going to these parties and like and just
Speaker 3: I liked the anxiety that went along with it, like
Speaker 3: getting dressed up and like where are we going to
Speaker 3: go tonight? And just knowing that you have no responsibilities.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know some people listening to the podcasts
Speaker 3: were like I was working in college. I worked a
Speaker 3: little bit, but mostly like you just it's like this,
Speaker 3: it's a great little bubble and you have no responsibilities.
Speaker 2: Really were your best friends in college?
Speaker 4: Kat and Kirston?
Speaker 9: Kat?
Speaker 3: I went one year to Boulder and Kat was my
Speaker 3: Catherine was my best friend. And then and then I
Speaker 3: transferred my sophomore year, and then Kirston was my best friend.
Speaker 3: And then we had a falling out my junior year
Speaker 3: or no, no, no, I guess it was yeah, junior year,
Speaker 3: and then I was doing stand up comedy and then
Speaker 3: I like didn't really have any friends I was just
Speaker 3: obsessed with doing comedy. And then senior year, uh, same
Speaker 3: same deal. I was just like dying to get out.
Speaker 3: So I think I kind of I feel like I
Speaker 3: didn't have the full college experience because for the first
Speaker 3: half I was starving and almost dead, and then the
Speaker 3: second half I was like.
Speaker 6: Wanting to get the fuck out because yeah, like I want.
Speaker 4: To go back because I like, no, I do it.
Speaker 3: I was even having fun when I was starving and miserable,
Speaker 3: like I remember it fondly, even though I was suffering.
Speaker 3: So now I'd be like fucking thriving.
Speaker 5: Type of anxiety that you have in college, the anxiety
Speaker 5: is optimism. It's like, oh my god, maybe I'll meet somebody,
Speaker 5: maybe i'll meet friends, maybe I'll get drunken, something crazy
Speaker 5: will happen. And then when you get to become an
Speaker 5: adult and you have anxiety about an event, it's pessimism.
Speaker 5: It's like, oh God, what's going to happen tonight, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna be so tired when I get back. Probably I'm not.
Speaker 5: No one's going to be there that I like, And
Speaker 5: so that's the difference, and that's not true.
Speaker 6: I have I have a personal story.
Speaker 1: Oh Okay.
Speaker 6: So I was on Fifth Avenue in Brooklyn. I was
Speaker 6: coming out of it was actually like a sex shop.
Speaker 6: So I was coming out of a sex shop and
Speaker 6: then all of a sudden, they hear someone call my
Speaker 6: name and it was someone that I was friends with
Speaker 6: in college. His name is Javier, and we started talking
Speaker 6: and it's literally like fifteen years after, like I've seen
Speaker 6: him last night and like, hey, do you remember me
Speaker 6: in college? And he's like, of course I do. And
Speaker 6: I'm like, what was I like? And he's like, oh man,
Speaker 6: you were really jaded. You were just like really concerned
Speaker 6: about what you were going to be when you were
Speaker 6: going to grow up, and some of the college and stuff.
Speaker 3: Well, that's what I'm saying is like I guess I
Speaker 3: want to go back now that I know it wasn't
Speaker 3: that big of a deal. I mean, this is all
Speaker 3: kind of retrospective, like Hindsight's twenty twenty, where it's like
Speaker 3: I just know that what college is now, and I
Speaker 3: think I understand it more, and I think we should
Speaker 3: let college students know, like it's not that big of
Speaker 3: a deal.
Speaker 2: Have fun.
Speaker 3: This is the last time of your life you can
Speaker 3: have fun without the burden of rent, and you know,
Speaker 3: I'm just talking to people whose parents are paying for everything,
Speaker 3: at which I had the privilege of my parents paying
Speaker 3: for my college tuition.
Speaker 5: So I know that that is that's true across the board, though,
Speaker 5: apply that to every age, every age. I'm sure if
Speaker 5: there is someone ten fifteen years older than you looking
Speaker 5: back at your age, they would say, none of it matter.
Speaker 3: You need to well I know, yeah, no that's not true.
Speaker 3: They go freeze your eggs. You're gonna want to enjoy it,
Speaker 3: but that's what they say. Older women are constantly like,
Speaker 3: oh dude, ah bah bah bah, and I'm I have
Speaker 3: this new thing where I talk about on stage, you know,
Speaker 3: like you know, every comedian talks about like their age
Speaker 3: on stage and like what they're going through at that age.
Speaker 3: And for most women it's like complaining about like I'm
Speaker 3: getting older, and most men too, Like I think after
Speaker 3: twenty eight people are like, I'm old. And that's like
Speaker 3: the comedians whole like half their act is like, uh,
Speaker 3: this is what it's like at this age. And I
Speaker 3: just recently started doing this thing on stage where I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna say I'm old because there's fucking old
Speaker 3: people here, and it's really rude when someone younger than
Speaker 3: you says they're old.
Speaker 4: It's just like, no one wants to fucking hear it.
Speaker 3: Shut the hell up, every twenty something year old, don't
Speaker 3: ever say you're old. There's someone with in earshot who
Speaker 3: is elderly and they don't appreciate it, and so like I.
Speaker 4: And but there I tell myself that stuff all the time.
Speaker 3: Like I sometimes I think, now I look at my
Speaker 3: life and I'm like, it's so good right now, Like
Speaker 3: I had. I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday about like
Speaker 3: my meds and adjusting them, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: just my life is perfect.
Speaker 4: Can we just keep it this way?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: How do I keep how do I enjoy my perfect life?
Speaker 3: Nothing is wrong with my life. I'm miserable a lot
Speaker 3: of times, but my life, if you write out all
Speaker 3: the details, is one hundred percent perfect.
Speaker 4: There's nothing more I want. There's nothing there really isn't.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'd like to not have suicidal thoughts as often,
Speaker 3: But on the outside, my life is truly great, and
Speaker 3: I try to remember that sometimes. Today this morning, I
Speaker 3: just didn't want to get out of bed, so I
Speaker 3: started going through a list of I'm grateful for my tongue.
Speaker 3: I'm grateful for my teeth, I'm grateful for my nose.
Speaker 3: I'm grateful for my eyes. I'm grateful for my hair.
Speaker 3: Like I was saying all those things because I really
Speaker 3: didn't want to get out of bed. But I think that, yeah,
Speaker 3: I try to. I try to know that right now,
Speaker 3: bitching about my age just DoD because tomorrow I'm going
Speaker 3: to be older, and it's it's not getting any better.
Speaker 4: It's not getting Eddie better.
Speaker 5: I think it's now I have to come up with
Speaker 5: something that Anya says that's not true too so so far,
Speaker 5: I said something that Noah vehemently said wasn't true, and
Speaker 5: then I said something that Nicky's vehemently said wasn't true.
Speaker 5: You know, I also think that like music is like
Speaker 5: you know, there's no emotion. There's no emotion behind music.
Speaker 5: I think mostly it's like a formula for you know, computers.
Speaker 5: I don't think anyone really even emotes when they're making songs.
Speaker 4: It's straight.
Speaker 7: I completely disagree.
Speaker 2: Wait, I didn't even hear you vehemently disagree with no
Speaker 2: I heard you disagree.
Speaker 7: Did you disagree with the cucumber?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 6: I vehemently disagreed with Brian.
Speaker 5: Is just Noah said that's not true, and then she
Speaker 5: had an example, and then NICKI said that's not true,
Speaker 5: and then she had.
Speaker 1: An example, said that not true.
Speaker 6: That's not true.
Speaker 5: I still think the things I said are true. Time Yeah,
Speaker 5: uh no, I still think the things I said were true.
Speaker 5: You know what actually today, Here's what happened today so
Speaker 5: far in the pod, I said, Nicky said that my
Speaker 5: business card wasn't funny. No one said that what I
Speaker 5: said about college isn't true.
Speaker 1: Nicky said that.
Speaker 4: One's going to quit the pod. Someone's being ganged up on.
Speaker 1: You can't go on right now.
Speaker 4: I see it coming.
Speaker 5: And then when I asked Amya to say, tell me
Speaker 5: that what I said isn't true, she didn't even say it.
Speaker 4: What's going on?
Speaker 1: I still think.
Speaker 2: I was still thinking about how both sides of your
Speaker 2: face look great and you don't have a bad side.
Speaker 2: I couldn't even disagree with that. I almost disagreed with that, because.
Speaker 1: One side is worse. No, but I'm not actually upset
Speaker 1: fy I.
Speaker 4: No, but you can't. I don't think you are. Brian.
Speaker 3: Brian is Brian's the best because I can like when
Speaker 3: I the other day we were working on jokes for
Speaker 3: my act, and.
Speaker 4: Uh, I was did I tell this already?
Speaker 3: Where I was saying, like I do that one I
Speaker 3: don't know about, but like I'd like that you did
Speaker 3: this part of it, like I like where you're the
Speaker 3: angle of it was. So that was like a good
Speaker 3: way to start. But I don't know if and he
Speaker 3: goes you can just say no, like you don't like it,
Speaker 3: and I go can I? And so then the next
Speaker 3: time I didn't like a joke, I go no and
Speaker 3: he goes, okay, actually, and then I started just going.
Speaker 4: Like no, no, and he was like, actually, this is
Speaker 4: starting dark.
Speaker 6: Making me think of something I just heard.
Speaker 7: It's a weird reach, but try to follow me.
Speaker 2: So I was listening. Maybe what you're doing is female
Speaker 2: and we're we're raised to do this like a firm,
Speaker 2: give positive feedback, do the sandwich thing, good thing, negative thing,
Speaker 2: good thing.
Speaker 7: But I was just listening to this podcast.
Speaker 2: Asked a snippet, and I might send you a snippet
Speaker 2: on the Girl's Chat, which Nikki often does, and it's
Speaker 2: done so well, just a short little snippet. But this
Speaker 2: man was talking about how uh you know the number
Speaker 2: one cause of suicide or the number one cause of
Speaker 2: death among men is suicide our favorite topic on this podcast.
Speaker 2: And eighty two percent of men who commit suicide are
Speaker 2: in therapy, but the majority of therapists are women. This
Speaker 2: is not a slag toward women, but he was saying
Speaker 2: that what kind of therapy works for women a lot,
Speaker 2: which is affirming your feelings, reflecting your feelings back to you,
Speaker 2: and letting you know that your feelings are valid, doesn't
Speaker 2: often work for men, in particular men who are potentially suicidal.
Speaker 2: They need action, like, yes, your feelings are valid, but
Speaker 2: like these guys are bottoming out in their lives in
Speaker 2: a huge way.
Speaker 7: They need like get up, wash your hands.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really interest.
Speaker 3: The biggest problem I have with therapists is this, like
Speaker 3: that sounds really hard, okay, and how does that make you?
Speaker 3: Where do you feel that on your body? I'm like,
Speaker 3: tell me what to do, tell me why don't therapust
Speaker 3: I don't know, because I that is the true. I
Speaker 3: want to just say that let's not correlate men killing
Speaker 3: themselves with therapy. The reason that number that eighty two
Speaker 3: percent of men who kill themselves go to therapy is
Speaker 3: because those men have mental issues, and people with mental
Speaker 3: issues are more likely to be in therapy, so it's
Speaker 3: less of a causality and.
Speaker 2: More a thing he was saying, Yeah, exactly, He's he's
Speaker 2: saying that surprisingly a lot of these people are aware
Speaker 2: of the problem and maybe talking about the problem.
Speaker 7: It's not that it's the top therapy.
Speaker 3: Well, I'll tell you, And yeah, my lover is started
Speaker 3: to go see someone and he has just said, I
Speaker 3: don't know, you know, I can't tell tell you like
Speaker 3: what in terms of like the what I'm getting out
Speaker 3: of it from the person I'm talking to. But just
Speaker 3: talking about these things that I don't want to burden
Speaker 3: you with or really anyone in my life has been
Speaker 3: extremely helpful. So just saying them and I think that's
Speaker 3: that's what he's getting out of it so far.
Speaker 4: I really like that.
Speaker 3: But I think you're right, and I've I've preally I
Speaker 3: consider myself fairly masculine energy in most ways other than
Speaker 3: my pussy, and even that looks masculine some days.
Speaker 4: You know, things are changing, and uh waits again, I
Speaker 4: just have to share that.
Speaker 3: Chris and I got into a little bit of a
Speaker 3: debate the other day about trans like if it's okay
Speaker 3: for trans women that have not had the surgery to
Speaker 3: be in women's locker rooms, And he was saying like,
Speaker 3: and he was not on any either side. He was
Speaker 3: just presenting an argument of saying, like, would you so
Speaker 3: Poppy my niece, for He's like, so you wouldn't care
Speaker 3: if Poppy was in a locker room and just Dick
Speaker 3: went swinging by her face, And I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I would be uncomfortable if a vagina went swinging by her,
Speaker 3: you know, like, I don't think anything should be swinging
Speaker 3: by people's faces in locker rooms, and I don't think
Speaker 3: But they came out that like there was a reason
Speaker 3: for his concern about this because he had an experience
Speaker 3: with a where someone was like pretty scarred by seeing
Speaker 3: a penis in the in the world, and so it
Speaker 3: made sense that he was concerned about a young person
Speaker 3: seeing a penis. And I get that, but I said,
Speaker 3: I've seen vaginas in locker rooms that are so much
Speaker 3: more horrifying than any penis, So it's not like she's
Speaker 3: safe from seeing disgusting genitals. Yeah, in a locker room,
Speaker 3: whether it's a vagina or a penis.
Speaker 5: When I was my argument, penises were swinging by my
Speaker 5: face all the time in locker rooms.
Speaker 3: I mean, they should not be swinging anywhere, Like, it's
Speaker 3: not okay for those to be to you should in
Speaker 3: a locker room. You should not be swinging anything. You
Speaker 3: should not be walking around with your genitals, and especially
Speaker 3: by kids that are like genital height. I think that's disgusting,
Speaker 3: and I think that anyone that's doing the exactly totally agree.
Speaker 2: I can hear my mom's voice right now. You Americans
Speaker 2: are so strange and puritanical. People grow up around nudity
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 3: And well, I would say to your mom, there are
Speaker 3: perverts to get off by putting their penises in children's faces,
Speaker 3: just in the vicinity, and so that is something I
Speaker 3: wouldn't want anyone to see.
Speaker 5: And there's also a difference between growing up around nudity
Speaker 5: and then someone swinging their penis in front of your face.
Speaker 3: I love nobody to get off one of the at
Speaker 3: least one person listening to this who's like has a
Speaker 3: boner right now thinking about like some sick fuck.
Speaker 6: Like this is.
Speaker 3: Why do you think guys expose themselves to people in
Speaker 3: the street they get off from it.
Speaker 4: This is a thing.
Speaker 3: It's not like genitals are just like just natural and
Speaker 3: we should all have them out all the time.
Speaker 4: Like I'm to I could totally be a NEWDICST.
Speaker 3: I don't really have a problem with people seeing my
Speaker 3: genitalia if it's in a non sexual way, like I
Speaker 3: just don't. The sound guy the other day was definitely
Speaker 3: saw my nipple, and I'm sure he was like maybe
Speaker 3: excited by that, but because I didn't wasn't doing it
Speaker 3: in a sexual way.
Speaker 4: I just didn't care.
Speaker 2: But I'm not like as where you get nude.
Speaker 3: Yes, but there are people in locker rooms, no matter
Speaker 3: what their gender are, that get off on Maybe I
Speaker 3: could see that they would get off on a little
Speaker 3: girl seeing their balls or their vagina lips in a way,
Speaker 3: or their tits like they sickos.
Speaker 5: When I would go into a gym locker room to
Speaker 5: take a shower, I would wear a towel around it,
Speaker 5: and then I would go into the shower and take
Speaker 5: the towel off. But there are there and it's a
Speaker 5: very old man thing to do also, But they're people
Speaker 5: who just walk around flopping around free and open without
Speaker 5: any shame, which is fine to not have shame.
Speaker 4: That's fine, but if you're doing it so for a
Speaker 4: sexual thing.
Speaker 1: You just don't know why. You don't know why they're
Speaker 1: doing it. Right, Some people are really help it.
Speaker 2: But a trans a trans woman who hasn't had the surgery,
Speaker 2: is not going into a locker room to like swing
Speaker 2: their genitalia around.
Speaker 4: No, definitely not. But they could.
Speaker 3: Just like us, Yeah, they're like just just I'm not
Speaker 3: saying that it's I think the chances of that are
Speaker 3: fucking insane. But that's not to say that they couldn't
Speaker 3: just like a woman couldn't have her vagina and get
Speaker 3: off on having a kid like catch a glipse Like,
Speaker 3: people are fucking sick out there.
Speaker 6: We all know it.
Speaker 3: But I'm just saying, like, I don't think that's the
Speaker 3: reason to not have to Like, if there could be
Speaker 3: a dick in a bathroom and a women's bathroom on
Speaker 3: a trans person, that doesn't mean I'm not like protecting
Speaker 3: a little If Poppy saw a penis and was like,
Speaker 3: what's that, I'd be like, well, some women are born
Speaker 3: with penises, and your brother has a penis and he
Speaker 3: was born you know, like I would just explain it.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be I don't think that she would need
Speaker 3: like counseling to get overseeing a penis.
Speaker 5: On a way, it all depends on the response to it. Yeah,
Speaker 5: Like I think if you respond like, oh my god,
Speaker 5: you saw a penis, Oh my god, how do you,
Speaker 5: then she'd be traumatized by penises forever totally like, yeah,
Speaker 5: some people have penises, Yes, that would be fine.
Speaker 3: I wanted to get to Reddit dumb because my mom
Speaker 3: was getting at okay, oh we're gonna get a break,
Speaker 3: and that we're going to come back for Reddit dump.
Speaker 3: All right, we're back. Anya has one more story about
Speaker 3: swinging things around.
Speaker 2: When my friend came out as a lesbian and I
Speaker 2: was like, I did not respond in a way that
Speaker 2: I wish I would have. I was like, you are
Speaker 2: not gay. You are more guy crazy than me. You've
Speaker 2: slept with more guys than I ever have. I remember
Speaker 2: she was like trying to help me understand that she
Speaker 2: really really loved girls, and she goes, there is nothing
Speaker 2: like having a woman on top of you with their
Speaker 2: breasts swinging around. It was like, and she's like, that's it, Like,
Speaker 2: there's just nothing like seeing a woman's breast swinging from
Speaker 2: scientists the.
Speaker 3: Way that makes me feel when I hear it. I
Speaker 3: don't have any that does not do anything for me,
Speaker 3: so it kind of proves it.
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, what are you guys doing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just saying, and that's nice to hear
Speaker 3: that that she doesn't mind like utter tits, like you know,
Speaker 3: like we also I've talked about this, like when your
Speaker 3: tits hang down and look like cow waters. It's like
Speaker 3: and they lose like their fat on the sides and
Speaker 3: they just they almost have like a bell jar type
Speaker 3: to them. That it's one of my most ing off.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I that's that is why women wear bras
Speaker 3: when they're on top. Sometimes I think, yeah, antipe, But
Speaker 3: it's nice to hear that another woman doesn't mind it
Speaker 3: and she would love to see them swinging around.
Speaker 4: And you were just like and she's like, that's that's it.
Speaker 4: Does that not prove it to you? I was like,
Speaker 4: kind of does?
Speaker 7: It was also like also when they're just.
Speaker 2: This is sorry, this is this is immature, but she
Speaker 2: was like, when they just drag their vagina down my chest, it's.
Speaker 7: The most amazing thing.
Speaker 4: I was like, you're gay, I got it. When they
Speaker 4: just slug down my chest and leave a snail trail
Speaker 4: with anyone. Try it? Mark my man?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Mark my man. That is such a weird move.
Speaker 3: But it would make me laugh so hard if I
Speaker 3: I I love doing funny bits though, so I could
Speaker 3: see myself doing that and just being like, hold on,
Speaker 3: I'm just trying something.
Speaker 6: Just say.
Speaker 3: He'd be like, Clayze, what you do it. I'd be like,
Speaker 3: wait a second, just I gotta get I gotta get this,
Speaker 3: and it's just like a marker going er.
Speaker 5: A.
Speaker 4: He's get to Reddit dump. Yeah, ladies, this is your
Speaker 4: redit dumb okay, So this is okay this.
Speaker 3: I found this last night and I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, I can't wait to hear Noah and Anya's
Speaker 3: thoughts because it's about a subject that I like to
Speaker 3: talk about with them. And Brian, I guess I'll hear
Speaker 3: your thoughts too, and you'll like get too. And this
Speaker 3: is called this is from true off my Chest and
Speaker 3: it says concern my daughter may have caught my husband cheating.
Speaker 3: She says, I just tried posting this bute blah, I'll
Speaker 3: just kiss me sorry. I was bathing our two daughters,
Speaker 3: five and two, about a week ago, when I was
Speaker 3: drying them off, my daughter was talking about being naked
Speaker 3: and how well. I didn't even realize this was going
Speaker 3: to connect. My daughter was talking about being naked and
Speaker 3: how you're only naked in private and for things like
Speaker 3: taking a bath. I told her, yes, that's true.
Speaker 4: Sorry.
Speaker 3: Then she said that lady was naked on daddy. I
Speaker 3: was confused, what do you mean, daddy and that lady
Speaker 3: were naked there? She pointed to our bed.
Speaker 4: What the fuck?
Speaker 3: I asked her who the lady was and she shrugged
Speaker 3: like she obviously didn't know. I can't think of what
Speaker 3: possible scenarios she could have seen that could have been
Speaker 3: misconstrilled as a naked woman on my husband. My mind
Speaker 3: was kind of blown, and I can't stop thinking about
Speaker 3: what she claims she saw. He's on his phone a lot,
Speaker 3: always texting people. I haven't asked him why he always
Speaker 3: has his phone glued to him, even in the shower.
Speaker 3: I feel uncomfortable demanding he hand over his phone. He
Speaker 3: gets up very early to go to the gym. Now
Speaker 3: going to the gym isn't new for him, but he
Speaker 3: used to go after work. Now sometimes he goes before
Speaker 3: work and after work, he is constantly This is the
Speaker 3: interesting part. He's constantly horny and has been for the
Speaker 3: past few months. I've asked him what's wrong with him.
Speaker 3: He says he doesn't know, but it's like he's eighteen
Speaker 3: again and he's constantly getting hard and can't stop thinking
Speaker 3: about sex. He's never had a problem in this area,
Speaker 3: and he was also never like this. He's become obsessed
Speaker 3: with sex and constantly wants it. At first, it was
Speaker 3: flattering and I felt desired and he wanted to and
Speaker 3: it seemingly from me so so often that I never
Speaker 3: imagine he could be cheating. Now I'm wondering why did
Speaker 3: he suddenly go from being a normal man with a
Speaker 3: normal health sex drive to being a teenage boy. She says,
Speaker 3: none of these things by itself is super suspicious, other
Speaker 3: than what my daughter said, and then she goes on
Speaker 3: to like, what should I do? And everyone, everyone, including
Speaker 3: every man that wrote back to this, said, someone wanting
Speaker 3: to have sex all the time is one hundred percent
Speaker 3: a sign of cheating. When you get sex, your sex
Speaker 3: drive goes up, and so the more you get it,
Speaker 3: the more you want it. So she was thinking he's
Speaker 3: want sex all the time. So why would he be
Speaker 3: cheating If I'm having sex with him like twice a day,
Speaker 3: that actually is a sign of someone being be She.
Speaker 6: What a stare peerrel talks about, like when people cheat,
Speaker 6: it actually makes them like sort of like a not
Speaker 6: a better partner, but like it ignites them for their
Speaker 6: actual partner. And just like you know, going off and
Speaker 6: she and it's not just the sex part of it's
Speaker 6: probably like the pursuit and you know, feeling like someone's
Speaker 6: attracted to you, like the whole thing. And then he
Speaker 6: comes home and he's stole horny for his wife. Yep.
Speaker 3: And this was there was a great advice given to
Speaker 3: this woman. There's a I guess a site you can
Speaker 3: go on that sends can send anonymously a text to
Speaker 3: you saying you've been exposed to an STD get.
Speaker 4: A test to get a test.
Speaker 3: And if he got that text and doesn't share that
Speaker 3: with her and says, I just got this fucking text.
Speaker 4: Did you get this?
Speaker 3: Then he's taking care of it on his own. And
Speaker 3: that's probably a thing like if you're a man hurts
Speaker 3: uh huh, or that if he's just if he doesn't
Speaker 3: go babe, I just got this weird STD text.
Speaker 4: What the fuck is this?
Speaker 3: Like, someone who's not cheating is not going to go
Speaker 3: I have an STD from college ten years. But like
Speaker 3: if you're if you've been married for ten years or whatever,
Speaker 3: you don't have an STD.
Speaker 6: Is this.
Speaker 7: Up to trap people?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 4: No, I think it's just a device.
Speaker 3: That's like someone came up with the site to give
Speaker 3: to people that like may be ashamed that they gave someone.
Speaker 4: An STD or something and just warm them.
Speaker 5: Uh huh.
Speaker 4: And this person, what is came up with that idea?
Speaker 3: She has what her kid said, I think that's like
Speaker 3: strong enough to have a conversation about it. Well, everyone's
Speaker 3: telling her, now, install cameras. You have to get full proof, Like,
Speaker 3: don't accuse your husband of cheating until you can get proof,
Speaker 3: because he can delete everything, get everything cleaned up, and
Speaker 3: then you look crazy and you can't get the money
Speaker 3: that you need in the divorce and you can't Like,
Speaker 3: so she everyone's selling her install cameras, go away for
Speaker 3: the weekend and get it on camera.
Speaker 5: If you're a true master cheater, then you will respond
Speaker 5: to that text in the right way. And you imagine
Speaker 5: if you were cheating, you get that STD test, and
Speaker 5: then you go to your wife and you say, what
Speaker 5: the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: Can you believe this way? Are you cheating on me?
Speaker 1: Guys not a master in front of his gas lighting? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, can you imagine this.
Speaker 3: Guy having sex in front of his five year old
Speaker 3: with another woman thinking, oh, she probably won't remember.
Speaker 7: Also, as I do agree that.
Speaker 2: Having sex can ignite your sex drive and you can
Speaker 2: want more sex, but as somebody who was involved with
Speaker 2: somebody that was cheating and lying about it, the opposite
Speaker 2: is also true. There's so much shame associated sometimes with
Speaker 2: what they're doing, especially if they're a sex addict, that
Speaker 2: they can also be completely like impotent and like not
Speaker 2: know what's going on, And that can happen out of
Speaker 2: the movie because it's catching up to them. They're getting guilty,
Speaker 2: they're feeling trapped, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just think that most people would think, no,
Speaker 3: he has sex with me all the time, he can't
Speaker 3: be cheating, And I just don't. That was the first
Speaker 3: I had ever heard of people going like, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: that's actually a heightened sex drive out of nowhere is
Speaker 3: actually a sign that something could be a rived.
Speaker 6: As the advice that they're giving her is like presuming
Speaker 6: that she would want to get divorce, Like, does she
Speaker 6: want to break up with him if he's cheating on her?
Speaker 6: Or is it something that's repairable.
Speaker 3: I think having sex with a woman in front of
Speaker 3: your child is there's no repairing that. And I'm someone
Speaker 3: if I got cheated on, I would forgive the person,
Speaker 3: but not if they fucked in front of my five
Speaker 3: year old.
Speaker 1: Hell, come on, what are you doing? Why are you doing?
Speaker 4: He had the kids that weekend?
Speaker 1: Take a second, so gross?
Speaker 4: Okay, this is another one.
Speaker 2: Babysitter, Oh, no, kid would have been like, it's Cassidy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right, you're right. Okay.
Speaker 3: So this one is from No Stupid Questions, And I
Speaker 3: think this is a question that everyone asks and no
Speaker 3: one really ever has the answer to. In fact, Brian,
Speaker 3: this was posed recently when we were all hanging out
Speaker 3: and you looked up a podcast to find the answer
Speaker 3: to it, and we really didn't get one. But the
Speaker 3: question is from No Stupid Questions. Why is cocaine being
Speaker 3: laced with fentanyl? Fentanyl lace cocaine has been in the
Speaker 3: news causing a lot of death, but why would drug
Speaker 3: dealers want to lace their drugs with an extremely deadly
Speaker 3: drug like fentanyl that will draw way more attention to
Speaker 3: both their enterprises and killing their clientele, which would be
Speaker 3: bad for business. Anybody able to explain? Do you guys
Speaker 3: want to take a stab at this before I tell
Speaker 3: you the answer?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: So we I looked up a podcast which I won't
Speaker 5: name because not going to throw shade it a podcast,
Speaker 5: but this podcast did not answer the fucking question.
Speaker 1: The title of the podcast was that question.
Speaker 5: We listened to it for thirty minutes, and it was
Speaker 5: like it was just leading us on with like YouTube
Speaker 5: style teasers for thirty fucking minutes. But before we answer
Speaker 5: why fentanyl is is put into drug, let's go.
Speaker 4: Back twenty years ago to the Ragan administration.
Speaker 1: Just tell us yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: But this question gets asked all the time because it
Speaker 3: does seem counterintuitive. Why would you want to kill your clientele?
Speaker 3: Why are this thing that a microscopic level can definitely
Speaker 3: kill someone?
Speaker 4: Why would you mix stuff with that? I think it's
Speaker 4: stud I know the answer.
Speaker 1: I have two theories.
Speaker 5: One is that somehow I don't know if this is
Speaker 5: true or not, so if somehow it gives their user
Speaker 5: a high a better high, then maybe they'll get more
Speaker 5: addicted to it, and then they'll wind up buying more
Speaker 5: despite the risk. And secondly, is potentially maybe lacing it
Speaker 5: with ventanyls cheaper than the actual drug, so they're just
Speaker 5: kind of filling it out like a filler.
Speaker 6: Strongly disagree with you, Brian, and it is correct.
Speaker 3: By saying this, someone commented, and these are all just commenters,
Speaker 3: so if you know better than this, please let us know.
Speaker 4: But this all seemed to make sense to me for
Speaker 4: the first time.
Speaker 3: Someone said that people saying that drug dealers would cut
Speaker 3: cocaine with fentanyl is insane. I can't imagine it would
Speaker 3: make it stronger. It's a downer and would work against
Speaker 3: the upper. So fentanyl is a downer, cocaine's an upper.
Speaker 3: It doesn't make sense to cut them together. Okay, here's
Speaker 3: the real reason. I don't know if you guys know this.
Speaker 3: I've seen a couple episodes of Intervention. I didn't know
Speaker 3: that people can be addicted and regularly use fentanyl and
Speaker 3: not overdose, that it is a street drug that actually
Speaker 3: is people buy and they use, and they use it
Speaker 3: in a way that they do not od that people
Speaker 3: like have a tolerance for so like people that die
Speaker 3: of fent overdoses usually have never done any fentanyl, so
Speaker 3: it's the first time it's in their system. They od
Speaker 3: they have a tolerance. But fentanyl is a street drug
Speaker 3: that is sold, so the answer is coming here with
Speaker 3: first hand knowledge, says this person. Cocaine dealers would not
Speaker 3: add fentanyl as a cutting agent unless they are crazy.
Speaker 3: It is cross contamination. The vast majority of times, one
Speaker 3: has to understand that drug dealers are not keeping their
Speaker 3: different drug stashes safe from one another. One custy customer
Speaker 3: comes in for fent, then the next for cocaine, same
Speaker 3: table scale, scooper, et cetera. Plus, most drug dealers are
Speaker 3: also high and absolute rex shit. Sometimes the fent is
Speaker 3: white powder, so it could easily be given to someone
Speaker 3: by accident. Luckily, when I was dealing, fent didn't exist,
Speaker 3: although I did give people ketamine instead of coke a
Speaker 3: few times. I also did that to myself, which is
Speaker 3: somewhat hilarious. As the first pooter is a doozy.
Speaker 4: I don't know what pooter means.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know what custy meant, but I guess
Speaker 3: assume customer. But that's the reason it's it's being these
Speaker 3: guys are dealing fentanyl to and using the same scales
Speaker 3: and stuff, so it was gonna.
Speaker 2: Somebed but not that specific. That is fascinating.
Speaker 4: I thought it was interesting.
Speaker 6: Hasn't coke always been laced with stuff? And also like
Speaker 6: in the way that like the whole like drug works.
Speaker 6: It's not like the drug dealer is the one who
Speaker 6: is getting it from, Like wherever it comes from, there's
Speaker 6: like layers of people, So maybe he's cutting it or
Speaker 6: she's cutting it with stuff to try to make more
Speaker 6: of a profit, right.
Speaker 2: Like maybe laxative with cocaine and all that stuff, which
Speaker 2: is why I never knew why people had diarrhea when
Speaker 2: they did coke. But it's not that because it would
Speaker 2: make sense for the effect of that they're going for.
Speaker 2: But okay, it's an accident. It is crazy how many
Speaker 2: people are dying of it constantly. Sorry that Brian was wrong,
Speaker 2: but Noah was right. I just like the way Noah
Speaker 2: said it.
Speaker 6: Oh I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's pooin trying to the first first time you
Speaker 3: get high drug contest?
Speaker 1: We all know that pooter can mean vagina.
Speaker 5: People have said that before, like fartle people. Yeah, there's
Speaker 5: there is disagreement online about what pooter means, even in fact,
Speaker 5: one of the Urban Dictionary definitions is saying pooter does
Speaker 5: not mean vagina. Everyone knows that pooter is a butthole.
Speaker 5: So but I don't see anyone using this in a
Speaker 5: drug context or getting high context.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, well you knew if you had a first pooter,
Speaker 2: you know it's.
Speaker 4: Okay. I liked this question.
Speaker 3: This is from like a podcast that I don't listen to,
Speaker 3: but they have a subreddit that I like some of
Speaker 3: the posts because it's all about I think it's about
Speaker 3: It's a podcast about diet culture and making fun of
Speaker 3: it and like poking holes on it, which I love.
Speaker 3: So I guess the the podcast is called Maintenance Phase.
Speaker 3: If anyone listens to it, let me know why I
Speaker 3: should listen to it and steer me into some episodes.
Speaker 3: But I for some reason, I like their subreddit. So
Speaker 3: I liked this question, which anti fat media hurt your soul?
Speaker 3: As a fat as a kid slash teenager, do you
Speaker 3: guys remember any specific things you know that Jessica Simpson
Speaker 3: fat picked quote unquote fat picture, Like, are there any
Speaker 3: things that stand out to you as a teenager, and Brian,
Speaker 3: this could be like for like male you know, uh,
Speaker 3: the like the ideal male body, like an Abercrombie bag
Speaker 3: or something, you know what I mean, Like where you
Speaker 3: just cemented in your head like, oh, this was a
Speaker 3: formative moment and now I need to be that.
Speaker 4: Shaking so many.
Speaker 2: Catalog And I was with China and we were probably sophomores,
Speaker 2: and we're looking at the Victoria's Secret catalog and there
Speaker 2: was Front's French chess, French sUAS.
Speaker 7: I forget her name. She's a famous model.
Speaker 2: She had like a cool angular jaw, and she was
Speaker 2: just beautiful and oddly in some heiny way, I looked
Speaker 2: a little bit like her. She looked a little slavic.
Speaker 2: She had like kind of droopy eyes like I do.
Speaker 2: And she had a curvier body like I did. China
Speaker 2: was very skinny and wiry, and as she was developing,
Speaker 2: her body was more like something Stephanie Seymour like looked like.
Speaker 2: So Stephanie Seymour, if you don't know, was a Victoria's
Speaker 2: Secret model, huge breasts and just ripped, just skinny and ripped.
Speaker 2: And that was China's body type. And I was leaning
Speaker 2: a little more toward Friensoise whatever her name was, and
Speaker 2: I was like looking in Victoria's Secret and China goes,
Speaker 2: she points out the one I was looking at, and
Speaker 2: she goes, ugh, I'd kill myself with if that was
Speaker 2: my stomach, And I was like, if what was your stomach?
Speaker 2: And it was like my stomach was slowly developing into
Speaker 2: this curvier but beautif.
Speaker 6: Is a Victoria's Secret model, that she'd kill kill herself,
Speaker 6: They'd kill myself if that was my stomach. I'm guessing
Speaker 6: that she knew that you related to that one and
Speaker 6: was trying to be mean.
Speaker 2: Probably maybe sorry Chai if you're listening, but yeah, I
Speaker 2: was just.
Speaker 4: Like feeling that her brain was doing that to hurt
Speaker 4: your feelings.
Speaker 2: What are you?
Speaker 4: Probably jealous? Mine is immediately I'm a slave for you.
Speaker 3: Video Britney spears her stomach in that the lines going
Speaker 3: down it and just the way just her low slung
Speaker 3: pants and her perfect it's not even like a six pack,
Speaker 3: it would just look dehydrated, like a dehydrated stomach, and
Speaker 3: Brittany like pulling it all the way down. I'm not
Speaker 3: a girl, not yet a woman, her pulling it all
Speaker 3: the way down and then that little like on the back.
Speaker 4: I will never have it.
Speaker 3: The other day I saw a girl and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I love the way you're back and like goes into
Speaker 3: your butt and it like slopes like this like mine's
Speaker 3: always like like it has like it just goes straight
Speaker 3: down hers what like whoop, like you could skateboard on it.
Speaker 3: Oh like that little that part of your back that
Speaker 3: goes like that. Brittany had a perfect one, and then
Speaker 3: uh it could it definitely is like I definitely probably
Speaker 3: have more like caw see him build up because I
Speaker 3: don't sit properly and so I don't have that like
Speaker 3: centaur like bombs that comes off the back. And then
Speaker 3: I think Jennifer Aniston her definitely low slung, low rise
Speaker 3: jeans with crop tops and and her arms always looking
Speaker 3: really really thin like.
Speaker 7: Giant.
Speaker 2: And then like someone messaging you like these are all
Speaker 2: things you were doing in your head you never heard
Speaker 2: Like wasn't there a moment where someone or something said
Speaker 2: something and you're like, oh my.
Speaker 3: God, I see I was thinking more like things from
Speaker 3: culture like pop culture. No, mine were always I no
Speaker 3: one ever. One time some guy came up to me
Speaker 3: and said I had dumps like a truck or something,
Speaker 3: but he was talking about my thighs and he like,
Speaker 3: or no, he said I had thighs, like what. I'm
Speaker 3: sorry I did the wrong lyric He said I had thighs,
Speaker 3: like what? Because I was sitting on something and my
Speaker 3: thighs were like splayed out, you know, like your thighs
Speaker 3: look like a puddle of hell when you sit down,
Speaker 3: and every girl relates to this, and so I remember
Speaker 3: being like, oh my god, my thighs are like I
Speaker 3: have like thick thighs, and I like hated that.
Speaker 4: But no, I was pretty thin child.
Speaker 3: I was a pretty thin girl growing up, so I
Speaker 3: never worried about like looking I was. I never felt
Speaker 3: fat until I was fat. And then I remember just
Speaker 3: saying I wanted to kill myself, and all my friends
Speaker 3: being like, Jesus fucking Christ, Nikki, we.
Speaker 4: Just want to go to the mall. Put on a
Speaker 4: pair of jeans, and I was like, none of them fit.
Speaker 3: And I was in my dark room and I was
Speaker 3: on my bed screaming, crying, and they were all like,
Speaker 3: we're just gonna go, and I'm like, go because none
Speaker 3: of my fucking stupid express jeans fit because I had
Speaker 3: gained so much weight because I ate eighteen bowls of
Speaker 3: cereal every day after school. But then my most formative
Speaker 3: I will say, I was eating so much cereal at
Speaker 3: this point in my life and just like eating constantly
Speaker 3: in high school. And my aunt Linn said I would
Speaker 3: never get a boyfriend and that I you. She told
Speaker 3: my parents, you can't let her eat like this. This
Speaker 3: is disgusting. No, no one should eat this much. She's
Speaker 3: never gonna get a boyfriend. And I didn't want a boyfriend.
Speaker 3: So I was like, gobble, gobble, like whatever keeps the
Speaker 3: boys away, Like I don't want to get a date,
Speaker 3: Like I hate boys, they're gross. I was, and so
Speaker 3: I I remember that, and but not It was mainly
Speaker 3: I just knew that my body didn't look like the
Speaker 3: things that everyone said was perfect, and so I deduced
Speaker 3: from that like I don't need someone to tell me
Speaker 3: I'm fat. I can see it when they go or oh,
Speaker 3: you know, the biggest part, the biggest thing, final thought.
Speaker 3: I think the biggest thing that every woman notices when
Speaker 3: she starts to feel like her body isn't enough is
Speaker 3: that you see someone with a better body than you
Speaker 3: talking shit about their body and then you go, Okay, well,
Speaker 3: then clearly I'm a fucking trash bag.
Speaker 4: Uh you know, slot pig, like that's what I am.
Speaker 4: Mine was my mom.
Speaker 3: She was so much smaller than me, and she would
Speaker 3: say she was fat, and so I would go, Mom,
Speaker 3: then what am I? And she go it looks different
Speaker 3: on you, you know, like that bullshit. So it's like
Speaker 3: she didn't mean to. My mom just had a bad
Speaker 3: self esteem when it came to come to her body.
Speaker 3: She didn't have any like she just grew up in
Speaker 3: diet culture came and as a child. Yeah, she there
Speaker 3: was no she was not gonna help me out in
Speaker 3: that regard by setting good the body examples she had.
Speaker 4: There's nothing she could have done.
Speaker 3: But it's mainly that where you yeah, you just hear
Speaker 3: someone else disparaging themselves and you go, well, I would
Speaker 3: kill to look like her, and she hates herself. So
Speaker 3: I guess she would step in front of traffic if
Speaker 3: she looked like me. I should probably do the same. No,
Speaker 3: what do you remember any.
Speaker 6: Well, I guess just like looking at like the Delia's
Speaker 6: catalogs or like what was it like it was uh
Speaker 6: roxy or like silver something where it was just like
Speaker 6: these like really young, pretty like surfer girls. They were
Speaker 6: like blonde, and they just always looked like so beautiful
Speaker 6: in like the glimmering sunlight. And I'm just like this
Speaker 6: pimply misshapen teenager.
Speaker 3: Yes, tiny little blonde surfer girls. That was the time
Speaker 3: of like Kate Bosworth. And even though one girl got
Speaker 3: her arm bitten off by a shark, I was like,
Speaker 3: I guess she's thinner than me.
Speaker 4: Now she weighs less. Now, never gonna have that s.
Speaker 6: I don't relate though, I don't relate non existent to
Speaker 6: having weight issues for me. I just always felt misshapen,
Speaker 6: like my my body was like irregular shaped. But it
Speaker 6: was never about.
Speaker 3: It was not about likes are fat or it's the
Speaker 3: same for you, Anya, Like it was more about the shape,
Speaker 3: Like I wish this part of my body was a
Speaker 3: different shape.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like I wish I was taller. I wish
Speaker 2: my legs were longer. Why do I have these thick legs?
Speaker 2: And just bullshit, it's.
Speaker 4: All Well, I'll tell you.
Speaker 3: When I got anorexic, I had the perfect body like
Speaker 3: it was I am tall, I am slut. It looked
Speaker 3: I looked like a supermodel body wise, like I really
Speaker 3: like nailed it. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Like,
Speaker 3: but I will say that I got the body I
Speaker 3: wanted and was not happy. Yeah, and was skinnier than
Speaker 3: Jennifer Anison. I remember looking in catalogs and being like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm thinner than fucking Jennifer Anison. Suck it, bitch,
Speaker 3: Like I have more self control than you. I hear
Speaker 3: that you actually enjoy a tortilla chip every now and
Speaker 3: again with Brad at Casa Vega.
Speaker 4: I would never do that. I'm better than you that. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you remember that.
Speaker 3: I knew Anya would know that reference, but I but
Speaker 3: I never relate to the shape thing because I guess
Speaker 3: mine was always just like, well, now I do like
Speaker 3: my my I hate that I don't have a butt
Speaker 3: or I don't have a and then my head looks
Speaker 3: like a cucumber is a new thing, but it's never
Speaker 3: go and it did in high school. And Kristen's laughing
Speaker 3: again right now if she's listening to this, because she
Speaker 3: knows that I looked like a tired, pale cucumber.
Speaker 2: So untrue.
Speaker 3: And so I want to try to find the picture
Speaker 3: of the original cucumber picture because no one could argue
Speaker 3: because I used to straighten my hair like Jennifernson with.
Speaker 4: An ironing board.
Speaker 3: With an iron on the ironing board and my dad's
Speaker 3: room in his dressing room, and he would come down
Speaker 3: and say, it smells like burnt haired on your hair.
Speaker 4: It smells like the Holocaust. And I'd be like, are you.
Speaker 7: He would say that.
Speaker 3: I go, what, Why do you know what that smells like?
Speaker 3: Why are you right now? He's like, this is probably
Speaker 3: what it smelled like. I'm like, whoa, my I mean
Speaker 3: it kind of probably did.
Speaker 5: For me.
Speaker 1: I was like I wanted my arms to be bigger.
Speaker 1: I wanted my legs to be bigger.
Speaker 5: But like I wasn't looking at other celebrities and stuff
Speaker 5: and getting sad. I think, I don't know if this
Speaker 5: is true for other young boys, but like I would
Speaker 5: when I would see like a strong guy, I'd be like, WHOA,
Speaker 5: that is so cool. Look at that strong guy like
Speaker 5: a wrestler or like Goku and dragon ball Z. I
Speaker 5: wouldn't be like, I wish my arms were that big.
Speaker 5: I feel like a piece of ship. I'd be like
Speaker 5: whoa that guys.
Speaker 3: Whow we internalize it as like we're bad because we're
Speaker 3: not that, and they be like, but it's not their fault,
Speaker 3: like who's doing this?
Speaker 6: Why are we like that? I think it's because we're smarter,
Speaker 6: because I think it's smart to go I honestly, this
Speaker 6: moves back to me being like I deserve to be
Speaker 6: depressed about something.
Speaker 3: I think women are smart. They go that girl's getting
Speaker 3: a lot of love for looking like that. If I
Speaker 3: looked like that, I could get more love. I don't
Speaker 3: just go Wow, good for her, I go, well, how
Speaker 3: am I going to get that love? I want to
Speaker 3: find a way to to gather that kind ofating.
Speaker 5: The man in a more and more selfless individuals who
Speaker 5: are just celebrating another.
Speaker 4: Man's gonna like.
Speaker 1: Alpha dog. There's like an.
Speaker 5: Alpha dog mentality, like if someone big, it's like, oh shit, yo,
Speaker 5: this guy is awesome.
Speaker 3: Right, that's so it's sweet. I'm not I don't mean
Speaker 3: it's dumb. I don't think men are stupid. I really don't.
Speaker 3: Please don't take me as like a feminist who's like
Speaker 3: all men are fucking dumb cavemen. But I do think
Speaker 3: there's something different about that where a man can just
Speaker 3: like admire a woman or a man's body and go,
Speaker 3: that's good for him, like cool, and a woman goes,
Speaker 3: I hate her because I want to be her, and
Speaker 3: because I'm not her, I don't deserve to be alive.
Speaker 4: At least that's where I go with it. Listener, you
Speaker 4: might be like, I can do that, but.
Speaker 7: To compete, You're right, like it is smart. I like
Speaker 7: that spin, but it's true.
Speaker 2: We have to be the best, the prettiest, like they
Speaker 2: pit us against each other at a very early age.
Speaker 7: Your your competion to try to be the prettiest.
Speaker 3: We need men to want to put semen in us
Speaker 3: so we make more things. So subconsciously we're trying to
Speaker 3: make more of our species. Whereas men back in the day, sorry,
Speaker 3: back in the day, like cavemn days, you just rape us.
Speaker 3: You didn't need us to like actually be attracted to you.
Speaker 3: We needed you to be attracted to intention. We needed
Speaker 3: guys to want to fuck us. Guys didn't need us
Speaker 3: to want to fuck you because it wasn't an option.
Speaker 6: We couldn't go like you wouldn't it adapt more to
Speaker 6: today's standards since like you know, like rape obviously is
Speaker 6: like not good and men cannot waituh, live in society
Speaker 6: on No you disagree, No, no.
Speaker 4: No, I think you're right. I don't think we've caught
Speaker 4: up yet.
Speaker 6: I see what you're saying, Like yes, Like I wonder
Speaker 6: why men don't have more of that like emotional response.
Speaker 4: I just think I think now they do. I think
Speaker 4: it's starting.
Speaker 3: Like I definitely know that my boyfriend is in admiration,
Speaker 3: but he admires people's hairlines, but he doesn't seem to
Speaker 3: hate himself for not having the hairline that he wants.
Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, it'd be nice, And I know that
Speaker 3: he's like thinking about stuff, but he's not like I
Speaker 3: don't deserve Nikki because my hairline is not good, Whereas
Speaker 3: when I am not feeling my best, I'm like, I
Speaker 3: don't deserve your attention or love. You should go find
Speaker 3: someone else that's more attractive. That's where my mind goes, well,
Speaker 3: I'm unlovable.
Speaker 5: Just to defend the cave men, they yes, like they
Speaker 5: have to worry about their bodies too, because they had
Speaker 5: to be big and strong so that they could a
Speaker 5: rape and then also defend themselves like the other men
Speaker 5: who would try to stop them from raping the women
Speaker 5: that they wanted to rape or that.
Speaker 6: They they were like, I want to rape her, you
Speaker 6: get off of her, and so they have to pull
Speaker 6: off the.
Speaker 5: Right how I look, it's about being strong and big
Speaker 5: so that you can be all these guys who are
Speaker 5: trying to guys.
Speaker 1: They don't that makes sense, don't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, why don't they hate themselves for it?
Speaker 3: Because that would actually hurt your species if you hated yourself,
Speaker 3: But they would.
Speaker 6: We do it. It goes back to what Anya was
Speaker 6: saying about the podcast you were listening to, and how
Speaker 6: just like men handle their emotions differently, so they just
Speaker 6: go to that.
Speaker 2: I think probably raised in all the messaging we've gotten
Speaker 2: ever since we're just tiny little girls. They're telling us
Speaker 2: you're gonna be a mommy someday.
Speaker 4: Oh you're so pretty.
Speaker 7: Here's a little dolly be.
Speaker 2: A mommy to that, and so you're like, Okay, I
Speaker 2: have to do this thing, and I have to be
Speaker 2: pretty and like.
Speaker 3: To have g I Joe toys and he Man and
Speaker 3: they see muscle bound things and superheroes.
Speaker 4: Why aren't they? Why don't they?
Speaker 7: They're not allowed to.
Speaker 2: Cry, and that's what they have to triumph over, and
Speaker 2: we aren't allowed to love ourselves and that's what we
Speaker 2: have to triumph over.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I have a he man. I have a Yes,
Speaker 5: I had a he man. I had you know what, though,
Speaker 5: I had a he man. I had a wrestler's all
Speaker 5: big muscle bound guys. I had Goku and Gohan from
Speaker 5: Dragon ball Z. But then I also had like Luke Skywalker,
Speaker 5: who was like, had no muscles at all, and although
Speaker 5: he didn't get laid in Star Wars, so maybe that's.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're a he man.
Speaker 2: Really, Princess Leah.
Speaker 4: Prince Leyah wanted to her.
Speaker 1: Did I want to have sex with Princess Leah?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Did you want Luke to? No?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 5: But I mean once I found out that their brother
Speaker 5: and sister, I certainly was like, well that's not what wasn't.
Speaker 1: Trilogy?
Speaker 6: Wait they are.
Speaker 4: I didn't know.
Speaker 6: I know that he's his father or whatever, like Darth
Speaker 6: is his father, but I didn't know that they were.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the whole movie looks like I want to fuck
Speaker 5: my sister, and then then it's like.
Speaker 1: He's attracted.
Speaker 4: Did he know it's his sister?
Speaker 5: No, well, at first he doesn't know he's his sister.
Speaker 5: But the whole trilogy, it's like, damn she's fucking hot.
Speaker 5: I want to fuck herself bad. And then at the
Speaker 5: end of the movie it's like, by the way, I'm
Speaker 5: your sister, and he's.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, the whole ship. Never mind all those things.
Speaker 3: I say, it's not that weird because I think most
Speaker 3: men who have a hot sister, if it wasn't their sister,
Speaker 3: they'd be like, I'm attracted to that girl if they
Speaker 3: were like separated at birth. I mean, yes, the only
Speaker 3: reason you go, I don't want to fuck this person
Speaker 3: is because of like the context. If there's no context
Speaker 3: for brother or sister.
Speaker 6: Of course, I don't know.
Speaker 5: I think if you think so much God for a
Speaker 5: trilogy like that's like five years just hearing some information,
Speaker 5: you're not going to all of a sudden be like, oh,
Speaker 5: you're not hot at all anymore.
Speaker 3: It is funny when you like see someone with a
Speaker 3: hot sister and you're like, I know you want to
Speaker 3: you would want to fuck her, Like there's just no way, Like,
Speaker 3: based on all the women you're attracted to, there's just
Speaker 3: no way you wouldn't want to fuck that person that
Speaker 3: is looks like all the girls that.
Speaker 2: You go for.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's just no way. So you're busted and blasted.
Speaker 4: I want to fuck my sister.
Speaker 3: If I was a boy, I would one hundred percent
Speaker 3: go my sister's fuckable. I would not deny it. My
Speaker 3: sister is fuckable. She's very hot. I even say my
Speaker 3: dad is a very attractive man if he was a
Speaker 3: single man, and I'd be like, Oh, that guy's a
Speaker 3: handsome guy.
Speaker 4: I don't want to fuck my dad.
Speaker 3: But like I can acknowledge when someone is fuckable to
Speaker 3: other people without being like I want to Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Well then if you'd go into it knowing that
Speaker 5: it's a family member and you can just acknowledge that
Speaker 5: they're in a track person, but you didn't have those
Speaker 5: years of being like I want.
Speaker 1: To fuck this person.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that would be hard hard to switch.
Speaker 1: It would take at least a few scenes.
Speaker 2: It was like.
Speaker 1: That cuts his own dick off.
Speaker 2: Basically, it's supposed to make you run if you get
Speaker 2: around their pheromones.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3: Like if someone's pheromones make you go like, oh god,
Speaker 3: their body smells, I always think like, oh, that means
Speaker 3: we're probably related or something. Or our baby would have
Speaker 3: like an arm coming out of its head, and so
Speaker 3: that's my body being like, don't fuck this person. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: have two chromosomes that would match. Speaking of chromosomes, I
Speaker 3: have been listening to podcasts about down syn drum people.
Speaker 4: I'm obsessed. I've learned so much about them and I
Speaker 4: want to talk about it more.
Speaker 3: And if you are the parent of a down syndrome kid,
Speaker 3: I really want to know what your experience is like.
Speaker 3: So please write me about that and tell me the
Speaker 3: hardships and like the good ships, because I kind of
Speaker 3: am thinking I might someday adopt someone without syndrome. I'm
Speaker 3: kind of love down syndrome people, and maybe that's me
Speaker 3: making them like they're a pet or something, but it's not.
Speaker 3: I just if I got to choose what kind of
Speaker 3: kid I want, I think i'd want that kind of kid.
Speaker 3: I think they're awesome. So yeah, I've listened to this
Speaker 3: uh oh, what is it? Stuff you should Know podcast
Speaker 3: about down center people and they even say it on
Speaker 3: that they're like buy and like, we're not saying all
Speaker 3: down cinder people are like really nice and always in
Speaker 3: a good mood, but we have yet to meet one
Speaker 3: in our whole life experience that isn't So we're not
Speaker 3: saying that it's all but please, they're even asking is
Speaker 3: there any example of someone with Down syndrome who's like
Speaker 3: a Karen, you know, like, but maybe there are.
Speaker 4: I just want examples.
Speaker 3: So that's my I want to I want people and
Speaker 3: maybe and if you think that what I'm saying is
Speaker 3: disgusting and I'm treating them like they're a pet or
Speaker 3: something like I'm gonna get one, you can also tell
Speaker 3: me that and I'll shut my trap and do better.
Speaker 6: But okay, so that's it for the podcast this week.
Speaker 3: Thank you for listening. Come see me on tour. Watch
Speaker 3: f Boy Island October twelfth. It comes out on the CW.
Speaker 3: Go dvr it right now so you don't miss it.
Speaker 3: And right now it's airing on Thursdays the second season,
Speaker 3: so you can just watch some random episodes. It's it's
Speaker 3: airing in order, but I think it's like more than
Speaker 3: halfway through the season at this point on the CW.
Speaker 3: Everyone has it if you have cable and season three
Speaker 3: starts October twelfth, and my tour starts September fifteenth. Go
Speaker 3: check out all the tour dates at Nicki klazer dot com.
Speaker 3: I would love best Sieeson the audience. Thank you so
Speaker 3: much for listening.
Speaker 6: Don't be coo and
Speaker 4: Just save the bees.