Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio. Hey Zarin,
Speaker 1: you know it's ridiculous, Yes, I do, Elizabeth Dutton. The
Speaker 1: fact that cotton candy and the electric chair we're both
Speaker 1: invented by dentists, so like one is to like lure
Speaker 1: you in, and then the other one is just why
Speaker 1: did a dentist invent the electric chair? Pain? Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: hardcore painting cotton candy profit God, you got it, you
Speaker 1: got you got it all sussed down. Those are that
Speaker 1: is ridiculous. Um. Something else that's ridiculous is denuding a
Speaker 1: defunct Disney animatronic display and selling the clothes to an
Speaker 1: NBA star. I'm sorry, did you say denuding? Denuding a
Speaker 1: Disney animatronic? You got it? Is it, Abraham Lincoln? We're
Speaker 1: you're going to find out. But whatever it is, this is,
Speaker 1: this is ridiculous. This is a ridiculous crime. A podcast
Speaker 1: about absurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons. It's always
Speaker 1: murder free and ridiculous. So Disney Animatronic, you know, there
Speaker 1: are Disney people, and there are like Disney apathetic people,
Speaker 1: I suppose, but they're there are Disney people in non
Speaker 1: Disney I'm not really a Disney person. Does that surprise you, No,
Speaker 1: not at all. Like I have family members, my uncle
Speaker 1: and his family, they love Disney. They go on Disney cruises. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're all about it because it's like they can just
Speaker 1: unplug and everything is always kind of the same. You
Speaker 1: ever ask him about these Disney cruises, Like, are there
Speaker 1: I don't know, a giant Mickey and Minnie walking around
Speaker 1: on top of the deck. I'm gonna be honest with you,
Speaker 1: the less I know the better, And I think they
Speaker 1: probably the best bet so. But like I have friend.
Speaker 1: I have a friend from high school who's really hardcore
Speaker 1: into Disney, and she and her husband, I think they
Speaker 1: got married at Disneyland. They go on like they they're
Speaker 1: like five K and ten K runs that they do
Speaker 1: getting married at Disneyland. That's like a double commitment. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's like do you have to dress up like a princess?
Speaker 1: Can get dissed up like Goofy if you want at
Speaker 1: your wedding? True? True? Um, so they're like Disney super fans,
Speaker 1: people who dress up as Goofy And I don't know
Speaker 1: Baba Fette for there is that a Disney things yet? Um?
Speaker 1: I got my finger on the pulse. Um. So there
Speaker 1: are people who will go to totally too great lengths
Speaker 1: to have a part of the happiest place on earth,
Speaker 1: you know, in their life. Are you a Disney person,
Speaker 1: You're like Disney adjacent. I'm Disney. Yeah, that's the best
Speaker 1: way to put at. Disney and I have our own
Speaker 1: weird personal history. That's a whole other issue. But my family,
Speaker 1: they love Disney. So my sister used always want to
Speaker 1: go there for birthdays and stuff. Now her children like
Speaker 1: to go there. I just took my niece down to
Speaker 1: Disneyland for two days. Let me tell you that was
Speaker 1: two days too many. So but you like you like
Speaker 1: all the Disney stuff. I like it through her eyes.
Speaker 1: To me, through the kids. It's it's fun through a
Speaker 1: kid's eyes. Yeah, okay, So, but we both have like
Speaker 1: a passing understanding of Disney stuff. We've both been to Disneyland.
Speaker 1: Have ever been to Disney World? Yeah? I've been to both. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've not I've never been to any of the Disney
Speaker 1: Lands outside of America, but I've been to both the
Speaker 1: World in Land. I've never been to Florida full stop. Wow,
Speaker 1: you're lucky. Lucky person. I know my family live there.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give Florida hard time, just a medium.
Speaker 1: But so let's this is about Disney World today, not
Speaker 1: about Disneylands. Okay. So I want you to transport yourself
Speaker 1: using the power of your imagination, much as Walt himself
Speaker 1: would want you to do the imagineering. It's summer in Orlando.
Speaker 1: I can almost feel the bugs right Orlando nights to
Speaker 1: two thousand eighteen nighttime, you can. You can hear the
Speaker 1: evening song crickets, the various swamp creatures that are lurking
Speaker 1: in the dark Florida exactly. Um, and so do you
Speaker 1: have this going on? You're in Orlando, you're at like
Speaker 1: around the outside the perimeter of Disney World. And these
Speaker 1: two baby faced yet bearded cousins in their early twenties.
Speaker 1: And I am completely serious when I say that they
Speaker 1: look like the human sons of some of the Seven Dwarves. Like, no,
Speaker 1: no jump where they a little bit height deficient? No,
Speaker 1: I mean they looked like maybe like average height, a
Speaker 1: little bit on the shorter side. But their faces, these guys,
Speaker 1: their faces are like half biker, half Disney. They're like
Speaker 1: baby biker. Yeah, like Disney towards kind of like baby
Speaker 1: bikers right now that you mentioned it. Yeah, so that's
Speaker 1: what these dudes look like. They've kind of got like
Speaker 1: rounded nose and apple cheeks. Um. They're creeping along. They're
Speaker 1: sneaking into the Wonders of Life pavilion at Disney's Epcot
Speaker 1: theme park, and their tiptoeing towards a vacant attraction. It
Speaker 1: is the defunct Cranium Command attraction. Okay, so Cranium Command something.
Speaker 1: They opened it in nine, It had a great eighteen
Speaker 1: year run, and then they closed it up for good
Speaker 1: in New Year's Day on New Year's Day in two
Speaker 1: thousand and seven. Okay, wait, what the heck is a
Speaker 1: Cranium Command. I mean that sounds like like a head thing, right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's like a really silly attraction where people are
Speaker 1: piled into this really narrow room that had carpeted walls
Speaker 1: always a good look, which is like a little terrifying.
Speaker 1: You go to a theme park and you want it
Speaker 1: to be sort of like slick and modern, and instead
Speaker 1: they're just like, come into our panic room. Vacuum these walls,
Speaker 1: you hope. Um. And so they watched this movie called
Speaker 1: Cranium Command, and Cranium Command is this like oddly militaristic
Speaker 1: agency that's responsible for operating human brains. It's not a documentary,
Speaker 1: it's animated, and the movie is just playing in this
Speaker 1: defunction like they will. They put you into this room
Speaker 1: and the screen is there and they show this film
Speaker 1: and it's animated. Um. There are a lot of like
Speaker 1: it's a dazzling array of celebrities who participated in this,
Speaker 1: like their brains, their voices, which also then means their brains.
Speaker 1: So m Charles Grown played the part of left brain, okay,
Speaker 1: and John John John Lovett's John Lavitts was right brain. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm glad he's getting that's a great little gruesome tuos
Speaker 1: in there. George went he was the stomach. Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1: Who do you think was the adrenal gland? Kathy Griffin close,
Speaker 1: bobcat Goldwabe, that is close. And then to keep it
Speaker 1: like super timely, um, Dana Carvey and Kevin Nelon reprised
Speaker 1: their roles as Hans and Franz to play the right
Speaker 1: and left ventricles. Was this like written well open in
Speaker 1: eighty nine, but this is like like a C list
Speaker 1: fever dream. Oh yeah, that like is an SNL like
Speaker 1: where are they now now? And oh no, that's where
Speaker 1: they they went. They went to Cranium Command. Um. So,
Speaker 1: but they have the screen showing this film and then
Speaker 1: in the corner of the room is this character named Buzzy,
Speaker 1: and Buzzy Um is a really large, kind of Chuck
Speaker 1: E Cheese looking animatronic boy. I would say, right, so
Speaker 1: he looks like the Chuck e Cheese, like that band,
Speaker 1: that that kind of school of animatronics where it's like
Speaker 1: awkward um back and forth. Yeah, and like the weird
Speaker 1: there's like a weird look to the fit to the like.
Speaker 1: I think the word you're looking for is haunted, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. That's exactly. There's a haunted quality to
Speaker 1: Fuzzy Um. And so he's like this animatronic boy dressed
Speaker 1: like Steven Spielberg, wearing a ball cap and a leather
Speaker 1: ball and a leather bomber jacket. I was just getting
Speaker 1: more haunted, right, it's going to haunt your dreams. Uh
Speaker 1: So Buzzy right, he's like one of the Cranium Command pilots.
Speaker 1: And so the film takes you through Buzzy driving this
Speaker 1: little boy's brain through his day. And I don't know
Speaker 1: the little boy's name. I've blocked it out from my
Speaker 1: own good so, but so like Buzzy is all chucky
Speaker 1: cheeseing it up in the corner and moving around. And then, um,
Speaker 1: you know, the people who are shoved into this room
Speaker 1: together watched the film and they feel like they're watching
Speaker 1: Buzzy have a kid go to class and walk down
Speaker 1: the street and play with his friends. Um, so that's
Speaker 1: what cranium command is. Okay, So Buzzy's a pilot and
Speaker 1: a Buzzy's piloting us through this boy. Yeah, Buzzy drives
Speaker 1: this kid's brain, drives the kid's brain. And so then
Speaker 1: Buzzy has Charles Groden and John Lovett kind of like
Speaker 1: over his shoulder. Oh yeah yeah, They're like, you know,
Speaker 1: no go that way, and I'm creative, No, I'm watching.
Speaker 1: And then like Hans and friends are like, I'm having
Speaker 1: a cardiac event, like Buddy, he is only eight, you know,
Speaker 1: like there's just an audience is just it just turns
Speaker 1: dark so quickly. That's why it closed. Okay, I can
Speaker 1: see that now, right, So they close and then now
Speaker 1: in where we are in our imaginations creeping around late
Speaker 1: night Orlando. So these d dudes they break into disney
Speaker 1: World and Epcot Center in the middle of the night,
Speaker 1: Orlando nights, sultry night, so sultry. One of the guys,
Speaker 1: his name is Patrick Spikes. He works at disney World,
Speaker 1: and uh so he's got he's got access, right, he's
Speaker 1: got the key card. He slides it through. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: got the map of the place in his head. He
Speaker 1: knows what security is, sure because in my mind, at
Speaker 1: night they close the gates. They just have one giant
Speaker 1: set of gates and that's the only way in or
Speaker 1: out of Epcot and they wrap like heavy naval chain around.
Speaker 1: It takes like, you know, seven eight guys do you imagine,
Speaker 1: like in a comically large lock and like Mickey has
Speaker 1: to actually come out and use his own key. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like the key to the city. And it's like and
Speaker 1: it gleams, it's golden. And they had but they didn't
Speaker 1: have to cut through that. Pat Pat Spikes had the
Speaker 1: old key card swipe away. The other guy has the
Speaker 1: worst name, And I'm so sorry for this man. Um Blaton, Taunton, Blayton, Taunton, Blaton, Taunton. Yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: my mind goes right there. The name. He's part of
Speaker 1: the canon. He's part of the Star Wars universe. It
Speaker 1: just sounds like a fake name. It totally sounds like
Speaker 1: a fake name. But he wanted a fake name. This
Speaker 1: man doesn't work at the park, all right, right, cousin
Speaker 1: doesn't work at the park. Uh Patrick, Patrick works at
Speaker 1: the park. He gets his cousin Blayton Taunton m a
Speaker 1: fake I D. And he uses a name like a
Speaker 1: Disney idea. Yeah, like an employee I D. He uses
Speaker 1: a fake name for that. He uses the name Jack
Speaker 1: d Morrow, Jack Demorrow. It's like Jack Sparrow, but not
Speaker 1: Jack Sparrow mashed up with the world of Tomorrow Tomorrow
Speaker 1: or like demoralizing. So they've they've both got these I
Speaker 1: das and they're rocking through they get in there. What
Speaker 1: do you think they do, these two, these two little sprites,
Speaker 1: when they get in there, finger pant the walls. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they just do they go nuts. Like in my I'm wondering,
Speaker 1: did they dance? Did they did they skip around? Did
Speaker 1: like a music montage start of them just enjoying their
Speaker 1: times and like punching their fists in the air and excitement.
Speaker 1: Did they just snap some cool picks? Did they do
Speaker 1: it for the Graham? Who knows? I think they did.
Speaker 1: But they actually did some illegal stuff too, Yes, and
Speaker 1: that's why this is a ridiculous crime. So let's take
Speaker 1: a break. I'm gonna come back and I'm going to
Speaker 1: tell you all about the ridiculousness of this crime. Cool
Speaker 1: back in a flash, alright. So Patrick and Blatant they
Speaker 1: creep around and they make their way to the Cranium
Speaker 1: Command exhibit. They're on tiptoe the entire time. They get
Speaker 1: to the three pound Buzzy installations. So I told you
Speaker 1: it's like a boy pilot, but it's huge. That'd board
Speaker 1: pilot wearing a giant Steven Spielberg leather bomber jacket and
Speaker 1: a giant baseball cap, hanging out with John Lovett's totally
Speaker 1: get to Buzzy and they very gently remove his headphones
Speaker 1: and remove his hat in the seductive manner. I guess
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wasn't there. I just so they're
Speaker 1: not attack like it's legitimately like they must. They have
Speaker 1: like a skeleton of this animatronic Buzzy and then they
Speaker 1: put the flesh on it. The rubber flesh smash my boy,
Speaker 1: because at one point someone stole Buzzies hands and they
Speaker 1: were just like metal, you know, the under pinnings. Who knows,
Speaker 1: they never recovered Buzzies hands. But anyway, so they have
Speaker 1: like a rubber flesh suit for Buzzy. Then then they
Speaker 1: dress him much like an undertaker would dress a corpse.
Speaker 1: Someone at Disney had to dress Buzzy to begin with.
Speaker 1: And then these two clowns come in and undressed Buzzy,
Speaker 1: I know. So they take off his headphones, they take
Speaker 1: off his hat, and they strip him of his bomber jacket.
Speaker 1: That stuff alone is worth seven thousand dollars. Get out well,
Speaker 1: I mean like a custom made giganto. It's huge shuite.
Speaker 1: And then they steal away into the night. Now, before
Speaker 1: they had done all these other things with cranium command,
Speaker 1: they didn't just steal Buzzies clothes. They went into the
Speaker 1: Haunted House attraction and they took some wigs and some costumes.
Speaker 1: I didn't know all this stuff can be removed. I
Speaker 1: always just assumed it was like somehow a fixed did
Speaker 1: these characters like figure it right, Like you're in the
Speaker 1: Haunted House attraction and like someone just like loses it.
Speaker 1: They're terrified, and they just project how vomit onto one
Speaker 1: of the Victorian ladies. And then they're like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: let's they didn't really hit the dress, but man, this
Speaker 1: wig and so they're like they closed the attraction. They
Speaker 1: take the wig off and they clean it tenderly, gingerly.
Speaker 1: I just have I have a problem where I like
Speaker 1: to imagine horrific scenarios and I let them run in
Speaker 1: my head in vivid detail with logistics. It's what it's
Speaker 1: what the docks call spiraling thoughts. So I'm just thinking of, like,
Speaker 1: what what is the terrible way that you would have
Speaker 1: to do? You know, like I could go, I could
Speaker 1: go so much worse than that. But anyway, so they
Speaker 1: do they have to like maybe one component gets dirty
Speaker 1: and has to be replaced, or like you know, little
Speaker 1: creatures start to live in the wig and then they
Speaker 1: got to swap it out. I don't know, I don't know. Man.
Speaker 1: They're very particular. I mean they want everything to they
Speaker 1: want everyone to have this really wonderful experience. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're like fascistic about cleanliness. So like Jney mind,
Speaker 1: you can't find trash if they can help it, right,
Speaker 1: So they don't want raggedy wigs in the Haunted mount
Speaker 1: although would kind of make sense if everyone's wig was
Speaker 1: raggedy if it was haunted. But you know, I'm just
Speaker 1: saying we have to keep the shine on it. So
Speaker 1: that's a classic attraction, the Haunted House, right. But what's
Speaker 1: the story with Patrick Spikes. Yeah, let's get back to Patty.
Speaker 1: He ran a Twitter account that posted behind the scenes
Speaker 1: photos of the park, and the Twitter at count have
Speaker 1: the handle of backdoor Disney. I think I saw that
Speaker 1: porno back it's like all sorts of copyright. It's featuring
Speaker 1: Nicky Rat Yeah, back door Disney. So it was this
Speaker 1: really popular Twitter account and that is a great name,
Speaker 1: back door Disney. Yeah, because this is so naughty. Um,
Speaker 1: he would take pictures back behind the scenes, and um,
Speaker 1: you can still see it because you know, the Twitter
Speaker 1: accounts still exists, and they just say someone else is
Speaker 1: apparently running it, but that's you know, to be determined.
Speaker 1: I think I think it's true. I think from what
Speaker 1: I understand, Patrick has nothing to do with this anymore. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it has like really cool pictures of what
Speaker 1: it looks like when you're inside a ride looking out
Speaker 1: at at people going by, or inside of attractions, like
Speaker 1: behind the sets of things, and so particularly for those
Speaker 1: who just absolutely love Disney to get a glimpse of
Speaker 1: something like how how this is made? So but you
Speaker 1: can still look at it. If you go to Twitter today,
Speaker 1: you can pull up backdoor to oh, I'm going there
Speaker 1: as soon as we're done, and then you're gonna wind
Speaker 1: up on a watch list, like I'm not already on
Speaker 1: a watch list. That's so true, but it'll be a
Speaker 1: whole new one. Uh, inside of rides, backstage areas. It
Speaker 1: also would have the abandoned features because people who work
Speaker 1: in the park they can still get into these empty
Speaker 1: spaces just for maintenance purposes. And also as they retire
Speaker 1: an attraction a lot of times they'll prep them for
Speaker 1: new temporary ones or whatever. So people have access, they
Speaker 1: can take cool pictures of stuff. And this is a
Speaker 1: big thing poking around behind the scenes at theme parks,
Speaker 1: especially in abandoned areas. So you said, like you've gone
Speaker 1: through like basements or something, or people's homes. So there's
Speaker 1: like tunnel tunnels under l a that have been through.
Speaker 1: There's all sorts of like basements like, um, you went
Speaker 1: to U c D. Underneath U C D either are
Speaker 1: a bunch of connecting basements, So we used to run
Speaker 1: through those and like people's homes when they haven't been there.
Speaker 1: I've done some of that as well, although I think
Speaker 1: they don't call that urban exploring, right. I went once,
Speaker 1: um in the like really rural south to an old
Speaker 1: courthouse that was like, yeah, it was like the original
Speaker 1: courthouse in that county, and but it I guess the
Speaker 1: the original original one got burned down when Sherman came
Speaker 1: through and so this was like the replacement. But then
Speaker 1: there was a modern eighties block building down the road.
Speaker 1: But I went into the old one and uh, someone said,
Speaker 1: you want to check out the basement? Like no one,
Speaker 1: no one goes in the basement. I'm thinking, like, sure not,
Speaker 1: why does no one come? So I kind of go
Speaker 1: down there and they're like there's no lights, but you know,
Speaker 1: you can kind of peek around. It is like pitch black.
Speaker 1: I couldn't see anything, and we really weren't supposed to
Speaker 1: be in there, and I'm like thinking, there's so much
Speaker 1: that can go wrong at this point. But in my
Speaker 1: life I've also ignored that feeling. And just kept doing
Speaker 1: what us doing. So that's what I did. I go down,
Speaker 1: but luckily I didn't step all the way off there,
Speaker 1: like off the steps into the floor. I went down
Speaker 1: to like the last step, and it was so ink black,
Speaker 1: I couldn't see anything. I get my phone out and
Speaker 1: I take a bunch of pictures with the flash on,
Speaker 1: but like you know how like you go from that
Speaker 1: darkness to the flash, you can't really process it. Um.
Speaker 1: I go back upstairs and I look at them and
Speaker 1: there's like two inches of water on the floor and
Speaker 1: a bunch of snakes. Oh god, I knew that would
Speaker 1: do it for you. And then all this like equipment
Speaker 1: along the one wall that's like from an abandoned Optometris office,
Speaker 1: Like I'm measuring machines. You found I totally did. I
Speaker 1: totally didn't. I'm gonna start charging admission. Yeah. So that
Speaker 1: was my That's my urban if you want to call
Speaker 1: it exploring experience. But so a lot of people do that, right,
Speaker 1: So we have all these urban explorers and they go
Speaker 1: into these abandoned areas, like these guys do photos. They
Speaker 1: take photos, they post them on Twitter on backdoor accounts,
Speaker 1: um and then some of them. They take trophies with them,
Speaker 1: much like a serial killer. And in the case of
Speaker 1: Patrick Spikes, he turned those trophies into profit. Oh so
Speaker 1: Spikes he trafficked and stolen Disney goods on eBay. How
Speaker 1: the hell do you pull that off? I mean, I
Speaker 1: figured Disney on it and we know about all right, So,
Speaker 1: like he wasn't just stealing. He was a fence for
Speaker 1: the Disney dark market man, right, Patty Blatant or whatever
Speaker 1: your name is. Um, So he's stealing all this stuff
Speaker 1: and he's flipping it on eBay. You know a good
Speaker 1: customer of his, You know who that was. Um, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna guess Sebastian Gorka, Sebastian Bach from skid Row. Oh,
Speaker 1: of course, no NBA player, Robin Lopez, big Disney head,
Speaker 1: total hardcore Disney freak. So he's buying black market Disney
Speaker 1: goods off of eBay. He bought Buzzies outfit, and I'm wondering,
Speaker 1: is it because that's how he could get a bomber
Speaker 1: jacket that would fit he by he pays eight grand
Speaker 1: for Buzzies outfit, the headphones, the hat, what are you
Speaker 1: going to put it on? And pretty much like what
Speaker 1: do you have this big enough? That's what I want
Speaker 1: to Does he does he like frame it in a
Speaker 1: shadow box or something? Is it hanging? Does he wear
Speaker 1: it for special does he sleep in it? We you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. That was never revealed. He also he
Speaker 1: didn't just buy Buzzies outfit like he was a good
Speaker 1: customer on eBay. He bought a couple of signs from
Speaker 1: the park. And then what I really like is that
Speaker 1: he bought a Disney employee uniform from Patti Spikes. Okay,
Speaker 1: so wait, NBA player who I am a suming is tall? Yeah,
Speaker 1: bought Disney uniform ployee uniform. He makes good money. Why
Speaker 1: couldn't he just have one made? He wanted the offense,
Speaker 1: he wanted the sweat, he wanted the Disney particulate matter,
Speaker 1: like he wanted the real deal. I mean it's like, yeah, like, okay,
Speaker 1: I could I could just go buy a baseball and
Speaker 1: say this was you know, hit by I don't Reggie
Speaker 1: Jackson and and look, I know I have it. Or
Speaker 1: I could have Reggie Jackson signed a ball and be like,
Speaker 1: yeah he hit whatever. He wants a tentico. He wants
Speaker 1: the real deal. But this has me wondering what is
Speaker 1: he doing with what's he doing with this? Is it
Speaker 1: something like how you know athletes like frame their jerseys
Speaker 1: and stuff like is it? Does he have it framed
Speaker 1: hanging in his his sparsely filled mansion and I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. So anyway he buys, he buys the
Speaker 1: employee uniform. Maybe he puts it on in prances around
Speaker 1: the house and it's like short shorts because he's so
Speaker 1: long legged and it looks like, you know, big guy,
Speaker 1: a little dust or what Yeah, big guy, little pants
Speaker 1: on this case. Um. And then remember the wigs in
Speaker 1: the costumes from the Haunted House, right, Spikes sold those
Speaker 1: on eBay to an accountant in winter Park, Florida. Wars out, Yeah,
Speaker 1: almost nine thousand dollars. I'm in the wrong business. The
Speaker 1: dress alone was a thousand dollars. Now what's that guy?
Speaker 1: What's that accountant doing with that? Yeah? Well, you know,
Speaker 1: we got all sorts of questions about the Disney fans,
Speaker 1: but I mean, and no judgment, you know, but like
Speaker 1: maybe he meets up with Robin Lopez at like premier
Speaker 1: Disney insider events that they have at like palatial estates. Well,
Speaker 1: the passwords to get in. If there are Disney fences
Speaker 1: for stolen Disney goods, you have to assume they're also
Speaker 1: occasionally meet ups where people get to show off they're
Speaker 1: stolen Disney goods in places they can never else them off.
Speaker 1: They totally see that. So it seems like they would
Speaker 1: kind of have like a place where they're like I
Speaker 1: think the people who eat bush meat that you can't
Speaker 1: just go to a restaurant in order bush meat, right,
Speaker 1: you got to go to a special place, see bush meat.
Speaker 1: So maybe they're like over there having their little special
Speaker 1: Disney dinners together. It's wearing their special outfits, That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, and they need like a password to get in,
Speaker 1: and they wear masks and it's very eyes wide shut,
Speaker 1: but Disney, but make it Disney Disney. So like all
Speaker 1: these all these hijinks are going on, but you know what,
Speaker 1: pretty soon Disney realizes their stuff is gone. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you're never getting one over on the mouse House. No,
Speaker 1: they file a police report in Orlando's Finest get on
Speaker 1: the case. Oh, they should have fouled it with the
Speaker 1: Disney police. Do they have that they have a security
Speaker 1: do they have a Disney jail on site. No, I assume,
Speaker 1: so I think people get arrested and put in that.
Speaker 1: I know that the Philadelphia Eagles have a jail in
Speaker 1: their stadium really because their fans are so wild, but
Speaker 1: there has to be at Disney jail. I'm going to
Speaker 1: tell people that I've done a dime. Inde J's standing
Speaker 1: on my head in the Juny jail exactly, exactly, So Disney's.
Speaker 1: Disney is upset now because they realized this my stuff's gone.
Speaker 1: That was Mickey, but it was Nicky. Let's be real.
Speaker 1: Um So I'm gonna tell you the next part of
Speaker 1: our saga when we come back from this commercial break.
Speaker 1: All right, I can't wait. All right, So, if you're
Speaker 1: going to steal something, it's probably not a good idea
Speaker 1: to post pictures of the purloined items on Twitter. Let's
Speaker 1: just put let's just lay that groundwork. That's just like
Speaker 1: criminal one O one one O one. Do not create
Speaker 1: evidence against yourself. And I believe that slide six on
Speaker 1: the power point for your Ted Talk Criminal one memory.
Speaker 1: I have it totally steered into my brain. I have
Speaker 1: a good memory. It's all the bush meat. So and
Speaker 1: also the place I would just say. You know, as
Speaker 1: a casual observer, the place to sell high profile goods
Speaker 1: is not eBay. No, it's a deep pop. Everyone knows
Speaker 1: this or the like trunk of something at a flea market.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to get away with the big
Speaker 1: ticket items. No deep pop it is. Now this guy
Speaker 1: goes to eBay right now. Disney famously litigious. They don't
Speaker 1: mess around. They're a juggernaut, a cultural juggernaut, and they
Speaker 1: want to protect that. Over the years, their legal team
Speaker 1: has filed so many suits, and I'm going to give
Speaker 1: you some highlights of some of my favorites. You know
Speaker 1: how I love lawsuits. You are a lawsuits fanatic. Um.
Speaker 1: One time they sued a preschool over a mural that
Speaker 1: featured Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy. I literally was
Speaker 1: about to make a joke that if you painted drawing
Speaker 1: they don't like on your school, dizzy will come and
Speaker 1: sue you. And they did. Literally they did. They totally
Speaker 1: did it, and like then, I just like the kids
Speaker 1: were probably standing there weeping while the custodian guy is
Speaker 1: slowly painting over it, raising their dreams. Yeah, or they
Speaker 1: maybe they instead of getting rid of it because it
Speaker 1: was such a huge effort. They just like doctored it
Speaker 1: to make them slightly different, to get outside of the
Speaker 1: copyright extra legs and like different colors. Yeah, octomickey Um.
Speaker 1: One time they suit of family owned party business for
Speaker 1: using knockoff Winnie the Pooh costumes for they out there
Speaker 1: and like they're mini the Pooh and like or like,
Speaker 1: but like these must have been like handsown costumes. So
Speaker 1: imagine you go to the party store. You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we've got this huge costume party coming up. Dressed to impress,
Speaker 1: is what the invitation says. I'm going as Winnie the Pooh,
Speaker 1: you sweetheart, are going is Christopher Robin, and we're just
Speaker 1: going to show out. And then but then you know
Speaker 1: your budget is in the way. So you go to
Speaker 1: this family owned party business. They're like, don't worry about it, mom,
Speaker 1: can sew you up a little Winnie the Pooh costume?
Speaker 1: Do you have a bear costume and a short red shirt.
Speaker 1: That's all that's all you need, just like porky picking
Speaker 1: around pants. And then your picture is out there and
Speaker 1: then they find out they source it down. The Disney
Speaker 1: sleuths track down the business and sue them. Um, this one.
Speaker 1: I think you're really going to dig They Disney suit
Speaker 1: a Lightsaber a cat me that offered Jedi training classes.
Speaker 1: I'm laughing, unpacked the whole ends of that. The Lightsaber
Speaker 1: Academy do they have scholarships? Like I have a diploma
Speaker 1: from the Lightsaber Academy. It's in Latin, which means it's
Speaker 1: a Roma therapy and lightsabering. A certificate of Achievement in
Speaker 1: a Roman therapy from Lightsaber Academy, an accredited institution. But
Speaker 1: they had Jedi training classes. Think about the crew of
Speaker 1: winners in that class. I'm not talking about any children.
Speaker 1: I'm directing this purely talking about my friends that I know.
Speaker 1: You're talking friends by grown men. Friends you go down
Speaker 1: and want to play with lightsabers. I understand what you're
Speaker 1: doing with the but I'm going to let that one
Speaker 1: go because they are ridiculous, you know what, And there's
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that, no judgment. There are my friends.
Speaker 1: So so these are these lawsuits. They a sling lawsuits
Speaker 1: because they you know, they got a legal department. Nobody's business.
Speaker 1: They'll throw them around them in the Scientologist, oh boy,
Speaker 1: they got lawyers for days. Yeah, but like, keep that
Speaker 1: thing on me with Disney. They mean, they do have
Speaker 1: a point. I mean, they they got to protect the
Speaker 1: I P. Yeah, scientology is just a different story, right,
Speaker 1: So now they're going to come after you by the way.
Speaker 1: Um So Disney also huge employer and source of revenue
Speaker 1: in Orange County, Florida. Um, I have a theory that
Speaker 1: about counties called Orange County. What is your theory that
Speaker 1: I don't want to go there? So Orange County, New Jersey,
Speaker 1: Orange County, Florida, Orange. They any New York because they
Speaker 1: want New York. New Jersey probably is New Jersey, Orange
Speaker 1: County New Jersey, York. I don't know. There's probably one
Speaker 1: in every state, obviously the one in California. I know
Speaker 1: you don't like. Yeah, now we're saying, we're hearing that
Speaker 1: you don't want no offense to Orange County. But but
Speaker 1: all offense to Orange County in all the offense? Um, yes,
Speaker 1: But I mean I don't know, it's just suspect suspect
Speaker 1: and and they probably feel that way about me. Uh.
Speaker 1: Orange County Sheriff's Department, though Orange County Sheriff's Department in Florida,
Speaker 1: they were hard on the case. Disney calls they jump
Speaker 1: so it wasn't that tough of a case. Though. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like we gotta call in. Homeboy was posting it
Speaker 1: all over Twitter. There was a total digital footprint for this.
Speaker 1: You know, he's got eBay postings. They can tell who
Speaker 1: bought everything. So in December, so this happened like in
Speaker 1: summer December. They bring Patty Spikes in for questioning and
Speaker 1: Patrick is being a total tough guy in the interview.
Speaker 1: It's like squat, He's like kind of slouched down in
Speaker 1: his chair. Cops asked him about his car and whether
Speaker 1: they're pictures of the stole and stuff on his phone
Speaker 1: done cold. He's like, I don't have to tell you anything. Yeah.
Speaker 1: In Disney jail, he even says like he gets straight
Speaker 1: attitude with this Sheriff's detective. He's like, this is this.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna quote and I won't do a voice, but
Speaker 1: I will quote. How about this. I'm about to walk out,
Speaker 1: and if you guys want to talk, I'll come back
Speaker 1: with my attorney. How about that? No, don't go away.
Speaker 1: Because the entirety of the Sheriff's Department is made up
Speaker 1: of animated Disney characters. Space Jam over the table, Yeah,
Speaker 1: He's just like Nicky's got like a cigarette dangling and
Speaker 1: he puts the cigarette out on Patrick Spike's hand. He's
Speaker 1: playing hardball by that heart didn't like how great is that?
Speaker 1: He's like, how about that? Like, Okay, they know you
Speaker 1: have this stuff. They want to check your car, they
Speaker 1: want to look at your phone. And so the officer
Speaker 1: replies to him, okay, keep the car there, we're keeping
Speaker 1: your phone. Now. This panics Patrick Spikes. So this is
Speaker 1: what does it? You can watch the video of this
Speaker 1: whole interaction video of Yeah, it's really good. So he panics. Right,
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, we're taking your phone, and he's
Speaker 1: thinking the links, you can't take my phone. Who knows
Speaker 1: what's on there aside from my illicit goods. So he
Speaker 1: grabs the phone and then gets into a scuffle with
Speaker 1: the cops. Wait and he's under arrest at the time. No,
Speaker 1: he's in for questioning. But even so, like, if you're
Speaker 1: in an interrogation room at a police department, do you
Speaker 1: really think you're going to wrestle a cop and win
Speaker 1: in the police stage in the police station, in the interrogation,
Speaker 1: I say you do win the phone, you still got
Speaker 1: to I mean like I could do it. I could not.
Speaker 1: I could totally, but I don't. Do you know how
Speaker 1: many speeding tickets I've talked my way out of, Oh,
Speaker 1: like I know, I've hit my like spiritual quota on them.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to get
Speaker 1: away with it again. The first thing you do is,
Speaker 1: you know you have like radio off hands at tenant too.
Speaker 1: Uh when they come up, put your gun away. I
Speaker 1: just shoved my gun and my declotate, I know. I
Speaker 1: they come up and I and I they'll say, like,
Speaker 1: you know, do you know why I was I pulled
Speaker 1: you over? Which is the most infuriating question ever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like oh you why am I supposed to tell you?
Speaker 1: You don't know? I could? You're looking for an answer here,
Speaker 1: But like okay, so I let that part go wash
Speaker 1: over me like a smooth stone in the river. And
Speaker 1: they'll say and and do you know why I pulled
Speaker 1: you over? And I go, you know what? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was speeding. And they're always shocked because no one ever
Speaker 1: admits it, and they're like really, I'm like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: it's all me. Wait a minute, I've tried this. It
Speaker 1: doesn't work for it well, I think that you also
Speaker 1: have to be a white fee mill with um an
Speaker 1: ample bosom. Oh, I know, we'll work on that for you,
Speaker 1: but um yeah. And then like one time, I actually
Speaker 1: fed the line of like, you know what, my family
Speaker 1: is going to give me such a bad time about
Speaker 1: this because I am notorious for driving like a grandma
Speaker 1: and they're never going to believe I got stopped for
Speaker 1: speeding and he thought that was absolutely hilarious warning ticket
Speaker 1: by Wow. Yeah, it's different now I do drive fifty five.
Speaker 1: Now I don't. I think I've I've run too close.
Speaker 1: I flew too close to the sun. You've done with
Speaker 1: your Sammy Hagary. I'm totally I'm gonna put that Sammy
Speaker 1: hagar time behind me. So anyway, let's go back. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Patrick Spikes Disney World Peace Spikes up in the interrogation
Speaker 1: room wrestling wrestling with cops. Who wins? The cop wins um.
Speaker 1: Spikes then asked to call his mom after his tough
Speaker 1: guy routine. What's a quick pivot? Yeah, he's like pinned
Speaker 1: on the ground. He's like, well, then can I call
Speaker 1: my mom? And well, in this case, let's back it
Speaker 1: up for this scene, he wears a retainer. Can I
Speaker 1: call my mom like that? Okay, that's what happens there,
Speaker 1: if that happen. Yeah, so animated Mickey Mouse has n't
Speaker 1: pinned like his knee in the center of his back,
Speaker 1: and he's like the Goofy's just like getting off on
Speaker 1: the whole scene, watching it, like loving it. Patrick Spikes
Speaker 1: is like, can I just at least coming mom? Isn't
Speaker 1: You're not going anywhere? It's the best video. You're You're
Speaker 1: going to get us sued by Disney for copyright. Come
Speaker 1: after me, mouse House. We gotta pass you know this? Um,
Speaker 1: So there's there, there's this whole tustle, and the dusk
Speaker 1: clears and he says, can I call my mom? And
Speaker 1: the cops says you're an adult? Correct, you're not. You're
Speaker 1: not calling your mom? Stay here, right? He is a
Speaker 1: grown man, grown And so when the cops says that
Speaker 1: to him, like, what would be your response, I mean,
Speaker 1: if you survived, if you survived a tussle with the cops,
Speaker 1: give me a second, thank you, thank you? Right? Um?
Speaker 1: Patricks Spikes has a full blown hyperventilating panic attack at
Speaker 1: this point, just quite the criminal court circuits and the
Speaker 1: cops are freaking out. They're trying to calm him down.
Speaker 1: He's like your tack, I can't breathe and they're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, calm down, which never calms anyone down,
Speaker 1: by the way, I got down, And they're like rubbing
Speaker 1: his back. You know you're gonna be okay. I just
Speaker 1: need you to breathe. And they eventually have to call E. M. T.
Speaker 1: S To come and like they should have just called
Speaker 1: his mom. They should have hit him with a trank dirt, right, um,
Speaker 1: much like Billy Idol has been hit by a trank
Speaker 1: dirt before. They didn't call the mom. They release him,
Speaker 1: but they take his phone, which then leads to him
Speaker 1: getting charged with and cousin blaton Oh yeah, blat yeah,
Speaker 1: Pat and cousin blatant tonton. They get charged with grand theft,
Speaker 1: dealing and stolen property and burglarizing a structure. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that three felonies are too sure. And then they
Speaker 1: took plea deals and they wound up having to pay
Speaker 1: all of the money back, which they did, and do
Speaker 1: two fifty hours of community service, which they did in
Speaker 1: the allotted time period period. It's a lot of trash
Speaker 1: to pick up, so they avoided probation because otherwise, if
Speaker 1: they didn't hit those hours and they didn't pay the
Speaker 1: money back, they would have had like probation. So in
Speaker 1: between his panic interview and the arrest, something else happened.
Speaker 1: Oh um, let me guess his mother got arrested. While
Speaker 1: it is for um, Buzzy the whole of him went missing,
Speaker 1: totally gone. Some is like, let me get a piece
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah, Someone's like, now he's naked. Now I
Speaker 1: really so Buzzy's gone. Spike says I didn't have anything
Speaker 1: to do with it, and the cops couldn't attach him
Speaker 1: to that theft. Um, how much do you think a
Speaker 1: Buzzy animatronic figure is worth? Oh? Man, I know in
Speaker 1: US dollars, not bitcoin. Okay, that's gonna make it easier. Now,
Speaker 1: I know it's going to be a bunch more than
Speaker 1: I think it is. So let me go four hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars down and don't come. I will not, I
Speaker 1: will not. Who's going to pay for h That's just
Speaker 1: the cost of to make it, think, because it's like
Speaker 1: a customed thing, right, Like I guess that was that's
Speaker 1: the valuation. That's what they talk this is what we
Speaker 1: got taken for um, and so it's can't be found.
Speaker 1: Three pound animatronic naked little boy with no hands gone
Speaker 1: gone for good. Um. So the Orange County Sheriff's Office,
Speaker 1: they did a great job on the Patrick Spikes case.
Speaker 1: I think, great video. Um, good job to the animated deputies. Um.
Speaker 1: But they just couldn't They couldn't crack the Buzzy case. Um.
Speaker 1: And so they had it for a long time listed
Speaker 1: as open and inactive, just meaning that you know, they
Speaker 1: just didn't have any leads, but not quite a cold
Speaker 1: case like a warm case. Yeah, now it's a cold case.
Speaker 1: They changed that in April to just inactive, totally never
Speaker 1: going to see Buzzy again, can't be closed, can't be solved. Um.
Speaker 1: It's probably in some professional athletes man cave, totally nude,
Speaker 1: totally totally legal, totally legal, totally cool. Um. There's there
Speaker 1: are some like Internet rooms that Buzzy wasn't missing at all,
Speaker 1: and that Buzzy is just in the park somewhere. Oh,
Speaker 1: insurance scam, you know, yeah, but I don't don't buy that, right,
Speaker 1: And you know that that's the one of the kind
Speaker 1: of interesting things about all these is that, Um, there
Speaker 1: are so many rumors about the abandoned pavilions and the
Speaker 1: abandoned you know features and stuff. Um. And when a
Speaker 1: you know crew comes in moves things, maybe other employees
Speaker 1: aren't aware that that part of an exhibit has been
Speaker 1: moved and they all think, oh, it's stolen or it's
Speaker 1: been damaged. So there's not there's so many employees, you know,
Speaker 1: so sometimes the right hand is knocked to the left hand. Um,
Speaker 1: And so I think that kind of drives some of
Speaker 1: the rumor mill in that. Um. So, yeah, buzzy still
Speaker 1: out there. That is remarkably ridiculous. Totally is ridiculous. So
Speaker 1: what's our ridiculous takeaway here? Uh, don't mess with the
Speaker 1: mouse house, so you're gonna get burnt completely completely. Patrick
Speaker 1: Spikes said that Walmart had better security than Disney, and
Speaker 1: that seems weird to me. It seems like it seems
Speaker 1: like a huge disc But I also don't believe it.
Speaker 1: I mean, he was an insider. He was a backdoor
Speaker 1: boy for Disney, and um, I I'm sorry. I tried
Speaker 1: to hold a he did, I know, the back door
Speaker 1: boy for Disney. That's that's tough. But to throw that
Speaker 1: out there. I'm sorry, uh but yeah, so he but
Speaker 1: like Walmart, you know, I would imagine that Disney has
Speaker 1: better security than Walmart. Um. But I think, like the
Speaker 1: ridiculous takeaway from me is that people will go to
Speaker 1: great lengths to secure a piece of their childhood, even
Speaker 1: if it's just like a gigantic bomber jacket. But it
Speaker 1: means so much to someone that they'll they'll take all
Speaker 1: these risks. Let's think about the accountant and the NBA star.
Speaker 1: They had to know that they claimed no I was
Speaker 1: told that this was you know, something that had been
Speaker 1: retired or you know, that there was some sort of
Speaker 1: other provenance that was making this an acceptable purchase. But
Speaker 1: they had to know it's a little bit of a
Speaker 1: shady deal to buy it from some rando on eBay.
Speaker 1: Take a businessman going into a different town, sitting at
Speaker 1: a hotel bar and having some beautiful, charming woman talking
Speaker 1: to him and never suspecting that she's a sex worker. Yeah, buddy,
Speaker 1: have you seen yourself? Because she doesn't come with a
Speaker 1: certificate of authenticity like you, kind of directly from Disney.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's it. That's buzzy. That's the ballot of buzzy.
Speaker 1: I love buzzy. I love robot crime, so yeah, robot
Speaker 1: crime is pretty good. Um, so that's it. You can
Speaker 1: find us online at Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter and
Speaker 1: Instagram at ridiculous Crime. If you have a tip for
Speaker 1: us about a ridiculous crime that you'd like to hear about,
Speaker 1: or if you want to lay bear your soul and
Speaker 1: confess to a ridiculous crime, you can email us at
Speaker 1: ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com and don't be the
Speaker 1: judge of the ridiculousness. Just send it along. Yeah, we'll
Speaker 1: be the judges. So that wraps it up. That's a
Speaker 1: enough buzzy for me today. Excellent story. You get the
Speaker 1: next one, all right, I got the next one, and
Speaker 1: I got a doozy for you. Ridiculous Crime is hosted
Speaker 1: by Elizabeth Dutton and Zarin Burnett. It is produced and
Speaker 1: edited by Dave Kusten. Research is by the Intrepid Marissa Brown.
Speaker 1: The theme song is by Thomas Lee and Travis Dutton.
Speaker 1: Executive producers are Ben Bolan and Noel Brown. Ridiculous Crime
Speaker 1: is a production of iHeart Radio. For more podcasts to
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