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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio's newest podcast, Label the Fires. It reveals

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Speaker 1: what's inside your favorite artists and celebrities. If you've ever wondered,

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Speaker 1: who is Miley Cyrus's favorite person to follow on social media?

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Speaker 1: How about what Kamita Cabo would be doing if she

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Speaker 1: wasn't singing? Or Damilvato? What label does she want to

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Speaker 1: get rid of? Uncover this and more. Listen now at

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Speaker 1: i heart radio dot com, slash label the Fires, or

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Speaker 1: search label the Fires in the I heart Radio app,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts labeled the

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Speaker 1: Fires created in partnership with our friends at Zico Coconut Water,

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Speaker 1: who believe what's inside is everything? For what would you

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Speaker 1: talk about on your on your podcast? Firm Presents fifteen

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Speaker 1: minute morning Show. You know what sucks? What sucks is

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Speaker 1: when we record this podcast, it's directly after we've done

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Speaker 1: a four hour morning show. So we go from the

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Speaker 1: four hour morning show and then we just roll right

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Speaker 1: into the podcast. Well, guess what some of us need preta,

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Speaker 1: I gotta pick that pay too. I'm actually okay, I'm ready. Three.

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Speaker 1: What do you guys are going to race to the bathroom?

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Speaker 1: Go to the bathroom? And come back. You have to

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Speaker 1: wash your hands and see who comes. So who's going?

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Speaker 1: All of you ready? Three to one? So now daniel

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Speaker 1: is okay, I'll tell you right now, Scary's gonna lose.

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Speaker 1: He got a very slow start. Okay, he got a

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Speaker 1: slow start. But also he has those tiny little legs

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Speaker 1: he does he has built. He has built like a weeble,

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Speaker 1: because he weebles any wobbles, but he won't fall down.

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Speaker 1: His center of gravity is very low, and he has

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Speaker 1: short little legs and short little arms, and so when

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Speaker 1: he runs, it's liking cartoons where their legs are so

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Speaker 1: little that you can't see them. He's trying his best, man,

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Speaker 1: He's not gonna get very fine. He's not a good runner,

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Speaker 1: and there's a lot of turns to get there, so

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Speaker 1: he can't even build up any momentum. Okay, you want

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Speaker 1: to place bets. I'm gonna say, even though it's farther,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, Danielle, actually and I are betting on

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Speaker 1: the same person. Okay, then I'll take Brodie, I can,

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Speaker 1: I'll take can't. We can't bet on the same person,

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Speaker 1: because then what do we get the satisfaction of knowing

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Speaker 1: we were right. Whoa rody just came back? No way,

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Speaker 1: no way. How is the shortest pier I've ever met?

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Speaker 1: And you get her? Okay? Wait wait did you wash

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Speaker 1: your hands? Yes? You feel Danielle? How did you do that? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you high one because your bathrooms closer, so

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Speaker 1: scaring one out the wrong door just now, and I

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Speaker 1: went out the other door. And then when I got

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Speaker 1: into the bathroom, I put the garbage pail in front

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Speaker 1: of the door. So he opened the door and tripped

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Speaker 1: over the garage, and then he went into private store

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Speaker 1: rather than he was in here. Hold on, first of all,

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Speaker 1: the men's room is closer than my room, So how far?

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Speaker 1: When did you get back here? Brodie's at first place?

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Speaker 1: Danielle took second. Did like a cop show. I threw

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Speaker 1: the domags pound from the door. I almost can't with

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Speaker 1: my pants unbuttoned, but I didn't. Here's a difference. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you guys are all sucking out of I shold my

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Speaker 1: own eyes that brow. You not wash his hands. I

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Speaker 1: washed my hands. Absolutely, you saw nothing. You were in

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Speaker 1: the store, you couldn't see anything. Did you button your pants? Yeah? Dude?

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Speaker 1: That the guy at the front desk was sitting in

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Speaker 1: for Anita said, I thought there was a bunch of

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Speaker 1: kids running around these hall. He said, no, where to

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Speaker 1: raise the pain. We'll see. The difference is I would

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Speaker 1: have taken my sweethets. I would have walked back a

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Speaker 1: minute fourteen of a fifteen minute morning show podcast. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of you guys. That's actually pretty good. Everyone

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Speaker 1: always says that was ninety seconds. Got a brace. Now

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Speaker 1: I'm not to this stuff. Okay, okay, we're out. So

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Speaker 1: how do Danielle? Like, how do you do it? Like?

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Speaker 1: What do you do? Do Do you? I mean do people hover?

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Speaker 1: Do women hover? But I'm very quick. I've always been

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Speaker 1: told I must have a penis because I am very

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Speaker 1: fast in the man, do you like squeeze it out

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Speaker 1: like quick? Does it go out fast? As it comes

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Speaker 1: out fast? Part of it is that Danielle has a

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Speaker 1: very small bladder because she has to go to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom a lot, and so there's not much to let

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Speaker 1: go of when she is in the bathroom. It's short burst. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I have the bladder of a camel, so it takes

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Speaker 1: me longer because there's more to And then I jumped

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Speaker 1: up and I washed my hands and I even dried them.

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Speaker 1: I washed my hands in the urin all the same

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Speaker 1: time in the stream. Yeah, okay, I don't have zero

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Speaker 1: desire to I thought I was in good damn shape,

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Speaker 1: But I have zero desire to pee. I could probably

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Speaker 1: go another two hours. I don't think that's healthy, though,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm drinking enough water. Um well, I

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Speaker 1: was told I think we've talked about this before, but

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Speaker 1: I was told by a nurse that if you work

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Speaker 1: in a job where you have to hold it for

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Speaker 1: a really long time, those nerve endings that tell you

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Speaker 1: it's time to go to the bathroom can be deadened.

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Speaker 1: Because I had to get us for example, would be

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Speaker 1: a good example. Um, I had to get what's it

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Speaker 1: called an ultrasound, but I had They had to do

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Speaker 1: it like an internal ultrasound. So she was like, let

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Speaker 1: me know when you're bladder is full, because that water

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Speaker 1: is necessary to whatever, for the rays to go through whatever.

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Speaker 1: And we sat there for like twenty minutes. I had

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Speaker 1: drunk a ton of water. I'm like, I still don't

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Speaker 1: have to go to the bathroom. She said, let's check

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Speaker 1: my bladder was completely full. But I could no longer

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Speaker 1: tell so now when I have to go to the bathroom,

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Speaker 1: it's an emergency, last minute, last minute. Oh okay, so

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Speaker 1: you're telling me that my nerve endings and my penis

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Speaker 1: are dead probably, and so now I'm just gonna pee

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Speaker 1: without even knowing it the bathroom is it like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's urgent, it's like you've gotta go. That's because it's

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Speaker 1: like you're those don't have the sense anymore. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 1: just start. Okay, we just glossed over something. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if every in the room knows, but Daniel knows

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Speaker 1: because she has kids. You just said you had an

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Speaker 1: internal ultrasound. Now my mom had one yesterday. She called

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Speaker 1: me afterwards. Now my mom has not been active in

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Speaker 1: a while, and so yeah, so when she said she

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Speaker 1: had an internal ultrasound, I went it had to have

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Speaker 1: fun launch enjoy it like no, I did not. So

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Speaker 1: when when you have kids, it's common you go for

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Speaker 1: an ultrasound. They put the thing on your belly and

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Speaker 1: who who whop, and you see the shape of the

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Speaker 1: kids and everything. But they also do an internal ultrasound,

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Speaker 1: which I would like Bethany to now describe the type

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Speaker 1: of apparatus they used. For an internal go ahead, so

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Speaker 1: is it ribbed for her? They do put a bit

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Speaker 1: condom over they do. It's like it's literally a wand

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Speaker 1: like you would get Harry Potter World, except it's it's

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Speaker 1: like this like this, like long and there's a camera

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Speaker 1: on the top twelve eighteen inches long. But it's very thin,

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Speaker 1: so it's not in any way not the one we

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Speaker 1: used where my wife was having kids. We got you know,

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Speaker 1: she it would look like like a whiff ball bat. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: mine was too, and I was like, well, that's what happened.

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Speaker 1: I got uncomfortable when we got done for my first

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Speaker 1: child because there's not enough fluid. I guess the first

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Speaker 1: time you get an ultrasound. So they do an internal.

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Speaker 1: So in the room with my husband and they take

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Speaker 1: it out and he says, what are you gonna do

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Speaker 1: with that? And she goes, oh, we're gonna gonna do

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Speaker 1: a ultrasound. He goes where you putting it? And they

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Speaker 1: told him and they put a condom over it, and

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Speaker 1: he goes, you know, that's really just not fair because

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Speaker 1: now how am I? And that's just intimidating. He looks

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Speaker 1: like King Author pulling the sword out of the store. Alright,

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Speaker 1: I one up all of you right now. When you

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Speaker 1: say one up, actually be one down. I think it

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Speaker 1: would be. So I had one of those devices because

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Speaker 1: I have a heart problem. They did what's called an

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Speaker 1: endotracheal echo cardiogram. So they shoved that down my throat,

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Speaker 1: the big white one. And that's why Elvis likes you.

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Speaker 1: I had that done to me when I was They

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Speaker 1: thought I had some acid reflux, but but they put

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Speaker 1: me out to do it. I was awake. So they

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Speaker 1: give you a pill to kind of make your senses dull,

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Speaker 1: and then they make you gargle with this, puts it

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Speaker 1: in the throat, and so then they also gave you

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Speaker 1: this mouthwash to gargle with. It numbs your your throat.

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Speaker 1: But her ever, forget the sensation of that thing being

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Speaker 1: jammed down my throat holding your head at the same

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Speaker 1: somebody was holding my head to your head somebody, Yes, seriously,

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Speaker 1: somebody's holding the top of my head, and somebody's holding

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Speaker 1: my jaw. And then the doctor had this thing and

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Speaker 1: he was jamming it down my throat. Are you sure

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Speaker 1: what a doctor's office didn't get dinner? Is? Seriously? I

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Speaker 1: had a professor in college as a theater major. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for the podcast. Thanks No. I had a professor in

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Speaker 1: college whom she she was a voice teacher, and she

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Speaker 1: always she was one of those people who spoke in

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Speaker 1: a very affected voice, so you couldn't tell if she

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Speaker 1: was British or not. But she was actually just like

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Speaker 1: a woman of the theater. She said, if you ever

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Speaker 1: have to have something placed down your throat in the hospital,

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Speaker 1: first remind them that you are a professional voice user

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Speaker 1: and they must be gentle to you, like the orbit

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Speaker 1: chewing gum. She was a wonderful doctor. Elizabeth Nash. Well,

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Speaker 1: they did that when they had I had my surgery

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Speaker 1: because I had that thyroid cancer like six years ago,

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Speaker 1: and they had to go in and remove my thyroid

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Speaker 1: and the doctor shout out to doctor in a way

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Speaker 1: he went in with with um. He put like little

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Speaker 1: things on my vocal cords and it was to alert

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Speaker 1: him if he was too close to my vocal courts.

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Speaker 1: A little alarm would go off because he said, you

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Speaker 1: use that for a living, and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: mess those up because sometimes you come back with a

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Speaker 1: different voice. So he had little alarms on there so

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Speaker 1: if he got too close, the alarm would go off, Yeah, science,

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Speaker 1: All right, what's the title of this podcast? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: We're all falling apart. Has anybody had a practology exam? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I did once. Yes. No, first of all, there's no

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Speaker 1: I had. I had too recently had one recently. I

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Speaker 1: was out sick a few months ago and the doctor

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Speaker 1: had to give me, uh that kind of exam, but

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Speaker 1: I had, so I went for my first parctologist exam

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Speaker 1: a number of years ago, and the doctor says, you know,

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Speaker 1: just put your your elbows on the table. That's how

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Speaker 1: they get you made your feet a certain distance apart.

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Speaker 1: You put your hand on the tub and one leg

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Speaker 1: on the toilet. Ye, it's the new dance. I just

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Speaker 1: don't know what to call it. And so you put

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Speaker 1: your your forearms on the table and he says, now

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Speaker 1: hold on, and it doesn't. It didn't in me or anything.

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Speaker 1: I just heard the gloves I actually know what. I

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Speaker 1: didn't hear the glove snap, and uh, I just I

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Speaker 1: felt that he must have put something on his hand,

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Speaker 1: like lubricant anyone, right, and without even warning me that

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Speaker 1: frog anyway, it was uncomfortable. And then afterwards I did

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Speaker 1: not see him take a glove off and throw it away.

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Speaker 1: As it was explained to me about other doctors. Some

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Speaker 1: doctors like to make sure they're feeling the prostate and

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Speaker 1: they don't want to have a glove on. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: Brodie's proctology exam. Talk Froggy. After a while, it's got

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Speaker 1: much very enjoyable. What was that frog? Did you notice

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Speaker 1: that he bites his fingernails? Yes? I did. I appreciated it.

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Speaker 1: Have you had one frog proctology? Yes? I did because

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Speaker 1: I had had an operation, so yeah, it was. It's

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Speaker 1: not it's not a pleasant experience. No. I remember when

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Speaker 1: Scottie b had to have something done, he said that

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Speaker 1: he was never going to make any certain request of

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Speaker 1: his wife ever again because so horrible. He's like, it's

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Speaker 1: a very low point in your life as a mail.

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Speaker 1: You've bent over the table and you're like, this is

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Speaker 1: this little possibly yet asked her to do that again.

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Speaker 1: I now know how terrible in this. I came home

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Speaker 1: from mind said it was the best time of my life.

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Speaker 1: She's like, oh, well you want to do it again, honey?

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Speaker 1: Him What brings you to the fifteen minute morning show podcast? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I just decided I would calling and see what was

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Speaker 1: going on? I haven't been on in a while. I

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Speaker 1: get no, I get kicked out of my studio right

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Speaker 1: right at a ten o'clock so, you know, because the

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Speaker 1: rest of the radio scision has worked to do so

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Speaker 1: I think, what was going on? Oh? You picked a

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Speaker 1: good day. Yeah, he's talking about fingers like like literally

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Speaker 1: as the phone as I'm put on hold, the first

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Speaker 1: thing I heard was I'm bending over the table. My

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Speaker 1: swarms on the table. I didn't hear the glove snap,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, what the hell are you talking about.

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Speaker 1: We've actually had conversations like this regularly on the fifteen

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Speaker 1: minute morning show. Yeah, now I know what I'm missing.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'll have to call in more frequently. Seriously. From

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Speaker 1: the golf course, we just and we had a pea race, Me,

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Speaker 1: Scary and Brodie ran to the bathroom to see who

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Speaker 1: could be the fastest. And I came in second, Brodie

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Speaker 1: came in first, the Scary came in third. It's funny

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Speaker 1: you said I have to really bad right now. So

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting for a time to my phone to go see.

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Speaker 1: Oh you're one of those people. Wait to mute my phone.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna pee while you can't hear it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you know that's just disrespectful to the person you're

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Speaker 1: on the phone with. Period. See, I never take a

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Speaker 1: phone call while I'm sitting on the crapper. While I'm

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Speaker 1: in the bathroom, you can hear, and not only that,

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Speaker 1: I really want that person to know in any way,

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Speaker 1: shape or form that I'm in the bathroom. My girlfriend

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Speaker 1: did this to me the other day. We were texting

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Speaker 1: about something and I said, oh my gosh, I have

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Speaker 1: to pay, and she wrote, I'm being right now and

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Speaker 1: I went, okay, well, you know I don't need We

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Speaker 1: want to tell you want to see Baby Driver this weekend.

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Speaker 1: So right after the movie, what do you do? You

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Speaker 1: go to the bathroom because she's been sitting for two

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Speaker 1: and a half hours drinking soda in popcorn. And I

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Speaker 1: went in the bathroom and sometimes, you know, he had

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Speaker 1: people in the stall and you're like, horrible sounds. Hold on,

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Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, hold on, is pin I don't

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Speaker 1: hear it. Okay, anyway, So the guy in the urinal,

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Speaker 1: there was two guys at the two urinals, and I

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Speaker 1: was third. The guy, have you guys have done this?

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Speaker 1: He's standing at the urinal and he starts farting, he's pining,

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Speaker 1: and it's just going. I mean, but like it wasn't

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Speaker 1: even like holding it in. He didn't like clench his

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Speaker 1: cheeks to kind of muffle it till you get the

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Speaker 1: This podcast took a turn terrible. Hold on, how did

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Speaker 1: you know if he's working clenching his cheeks because his

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Speaker 1: feet were five feet apart and it was you know

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Speaker 1: the difference between disgusting pot snap of football. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: the difference was actually listening to his podcast. He wasn't

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Speaker 1: trying to. I didn't look around like I'm embarrassed. He like,

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Speaker 1: look at me. I don't mean to play the part

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Speaker 1: of Elvis. But this is really pretty bad. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: It's had a great start. The p race was good,

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Speaker 1: the ultrasound part finding down. It's twenty seconds left. Now

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Speaker 1: what how I don't know how to redeem ourselves here.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we can all promote our individual podcasts. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you guys Acquired Taste one the Brooklyn Boys. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: record episode three today for four today. That's right with

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Speaker 1: a with a very special surprise in this episode and

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Speaker 1: the Acquired Taste with Kathleen, Bethany and Soum. You have

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Speaker 1: today's Wedday and do you want to today The fifteen

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Speaker 1: minute Morning Show