WEBVTT - Pay The Church More for the Wedding Singing

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone.

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<v Speaker 2>Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap.

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<v Speaker 3>I happen to love Scary in this phone tap. I

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<v Speaker 3>think he did a great job pretending to be a

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<v Speaker 3>man of the claw. The letter came in, Dear Elvis Durant,

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<v Speaker 3>my fiance Chris and I will be married in just

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<v Speaker 3>a few days. Everything's going great except for some dealings

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<v Speaker 3>we've had with the church. Wouldn't it be great if

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<v Speaker 3>a few more problems came up at this last moment

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<v Speaker 3>before our wedding? Yes, Donna, we think he'd be a

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<v Speaker 3>great phone tap. All right, Donna is phone tapping her

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<v Speaker 3>fiancee Chris. Donna's going to start the call, and Scary

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<v Speaker 3>comes in as the deacon from the church. Let's listen it.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hey, that's up.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm actually on another call with John O'Hurley over at

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<v Speaker 4>Saint Ndrom and we have a really, really, really big problem.

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<v Speaker 4>What's the singer is not included and we have to

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<v Speaker 4>pay two hundred dollars more and I just don't have

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<v Speaker 4>the money.

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<v Speaker 5>The free said it was included.

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<v Speaker 4>They said change now, and the singer is not as

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<v Speaker 4>it put them through. Okay, hold on, hello, hello you there,

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<v Speaker 4>Donald yes, I'm here.

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<v Speaker 1>I was calling you about that little blip that we had.

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<v Speaker 5>Well it's not a little blip, that's kind of a

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<v Speaker 5>big blip.

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<v Speaker 6>Well yeah, that's why I'm calling to let you know

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<v Speaker 6>that the singer's not included in that.

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<v Speaker 5>This is out of control. It's ridiculous. Let me turn around.

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<v Speaker 5>You guys got your hand out for more money.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, there's hard times now.

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<v Speaker 6>Less people are coming to church on Sundays and those

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<v Speaker 6>baskets are empty when they pass them around.

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<v Speaker 5>I wonder why.

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<v Speaker 6>Because you treat people like this, the price of singers

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<v Speaker 6>are going up.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not my problem, so that'll be an addition of that.

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<v Speaker 5>My problem though. Okay, are you.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure you're not creating your own problems in your head?

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<v Speaker 5>Excuse?

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<v Speaker 6>Are you sure they're not your own problems that you're creating,

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<v Speaker 6>that you're creating them for yourself? Are if an extra

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<v Speaker 6>two hundred dollars is incurred here, what's the big deal?

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<v Speaker 5>If it's not a big deal, it's honored the price

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<v Speaker 5>that you told me. All right, I'll get a lawyer.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want one of the altar boys to sing

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<v Speaker 1>for you? We could do that.

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<v Speaker 5>Got a hang up?

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<v Speaker 1>I have a mind to bump you for the kaleti christening.

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<v Speaker 5>On his God.

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<v Speaker 4>Chris, No, no, no, no, calm down, Calm down.

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<v Speaker 1>Miss Ford. Why are you even marrying a guy like this?

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know, Chris, Please, I just want to go

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<v Speaker 4>to church. Now.

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<v Speaker 5>I'll come down here and talk to you. Now you

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<v Speaker 5>want to talk face to face, I'll talk to you.

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<v Speaker 1>He sounds like a real creep.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm a creep. You're a creep.

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<v Speaker 6>He doesn't sound like a guy that's gonna be there

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<v Speaker 6>in sickness and in health because he sounds.

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<v Speaker 1>Like a real ass.

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<v Speaker 5>Excuse me.

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<v Speaker 1>You heard me.

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<v Speaker 6>You're an ass ass and the Lord gave me permission

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<v Speaker 6>to say that to you right now.

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<v Speaker 4>Dead right.

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<v Speaker 5>The Lord gave you permission.

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<v Speaker 6>Are you gonna cough up the two hundred dollars or

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<v Speaker 6>are you gonna be a bad Catholic who's gonna end

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<v Speaker 6>up in hell?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Why?

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<v Speaker 5>Because I'm not gonna give you two hundred dollars. I'm

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<v Speaker 5>a bad Catholic now, yeah, that's real Christian too.

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<v Speaker 1>You're gonna end up in hell? You hear me?

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, good, I'm gonna end up in hell and fiery.

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<v Speaker 4>Underpaid Chris for getting married in five days. You can't

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<v Speaker 4>do this. Call him back, Hello, why'd you hang up?

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<v Speaker 4>He's on me on the line.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't want to talk to him down because if

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<v Speaker 5>I talk to him, I'm really gonna leave work and

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<v Speaker 5>I'm gonna go down here and beat them that of

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<v Speaker 5>this guy. I'm shaking so much. I don't understand telling

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<v Speaker 5>me I'm gonna ask because I don't want to call

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<v Speaker 5>up a twenty dollars to the church me. I'm not

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<v Speaker 5>gonna be there that. I'm gonna be right in hell him.

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<v Speaker 5>I haven't been this pissed off in years. He pushed

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<v Speaker 5>the wrong button.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, hold on a second.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, did you speak to your sance?

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<v Speaker 5>I told you not to put me on the phone

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<v Speaker 5>with this.

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<v Speaker 4>I get it means to I push the wrong button?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you a big man? Because I got the Lord

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<v Speaker 2>on my side.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't give it. You got in your side?

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<v Speaker 2>I now, Yeah, I'm rolling up my sleeves.

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<v Speaker 6>I got Jesus Christ, I got Moses, I got Noah

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<v Speaker 6>and his ark.

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<v Speaker 2>We're gonna come and get you.

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<v Speaker 5>Come get me. I'm a David Ford. Come get me.

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<v Speaker 5>Drive right down here, come get me.

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<v Speaker 6>You'll be banished to the gates of the hell before

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<v Speaker 6>you can say, I do, come get me.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm here, I'm waiting for you. Come get me, and

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<v Speaker 5>I'm burning hell just.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I'm in the clergy. You think I'm a wimp.

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<v Speaker 2>You hear me, I hear you.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>You're a bad man, all right.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm a bad man. I'm a bad man.

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<v Speaker 2>And bad people go to bad places.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeh, come get it.

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<v Speaker 2>Lucifer will see you.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm marrying up like no, no, no, he come before.

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<v Speaker 2>You hang up.

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<v Speaker 6>I think I should tell you that this is Gary

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<v Speaker 6>Jones Melvios Durant in the Morning Show.

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<v Speaker 2>No you did not, we did. You've been phone tapped.

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<v Speaker 4>I got your baby

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<v Speaker 1>Tap the Elvis Durant's phone tap