Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney
Speaker 1: and Marie ah Man.
Speaker 2: This is great, This is great. I'm excited. This is
Speaker 2: gonna be a good episode. Yeah, I feel it in
Speaker 2: my bones. Seriously, I'm feeling in my joints. That might
Speaker 2: be osteoporosis. I'm not really sure. I'm feeling it. It's
Speaker 2: gonna be great already, high energy.
Speaker 1: Okay. Also quick positive note up top. Yes, Sidney got
Speaker 1: a new wig. Hip cute. The guest is looking like
Speaker 1: I guess it's looking at you, and you're you fell
Speaker 1: for the European Standards of beauty sis. Oh gosh, so
Speaker 1: what you got your turbot on? It's fine, yes, but
Speaker 1: this is the Indian also West Indian. Also, I'm at
Speaker 1: my house at my hair was not just I got
Speaker 1: a Bereton.
Speaker 2: So honestly I could take the wig off and just
Speaker 2: put the beret on and still live my best too.
Speaker 1: Don't say beret. That makes me think of that terrible
Speaker 1: final episode of She's Got to Have It when they
Speaker 1: dance to Prince Raspberry Beret. It made you think of
Speaker 1: all of that a beret that's raspberry Bret. I would
Speaker 1: bring any of that let one word changed. That last
Speaker 1: episode was garbage.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can't even talk about it because I feel
Speaker 2: like people I went I was at a show and
Speaker 2: asking people have they watched it, and they're like, I
Speaker 2: couldn't make it through all of it. I was like, damn, damn.
Speaker 2: They're like, I got to like the fifth episode.
Speaker 1: I made it to the last episode and was super upset.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I can't. Like I'm one of these people.
Speaker 1: If I start watching something, I have to I have
Speaker 1: to finish it. It's like really bad and I only
Speaker 1: made it through. Like you gotta to finish it. You
Speaker 1: have the time.
Speaker 2: Come on, you might get to it and then you're like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, soign the stange.
Speaker 1: I'm watching it sequre now just to see how it ends.
Speaker 1: I don't care about the show really, Yes, all the
Speaker 1: main characters, Molly going back with the Dobey body let
Speaker 1: skin dude, Like I'm just I'm just like, well, I
Speaker 1: just want to see when his wife confront That's true.
Speaker 2: That's how I'm waiting for the thirty season and be like,
Speaker 2: come on, girl, you fell for the okie duck with Gumby,
Speaker 2: you know, with the with.
Speaker 1: The just he got just then out of shaped body,
Speaker 1: wishy body.
Speaker 2: But he's light skinned, he got baby hair, so that's
Speaker 2: why with clothes it looks like he should have a
Speaker 2: good body.
Speaker 1: And then he takes his clothes off and you're like.
Speaker 2: He pumping the tsara for men too hard. So no,
Speaker 2: I don't think at all, Sydney. Uh, what were you
Speaker 2: an expert in this week? Can we talk about the
Speaker 2: past five days? Well, you and I have been going
Speaker 2: to numerous holiday parties and just smashing it with velveteen
Speaker 2: love and uh, you know, crushed velvet, velvet on velvet,
Speaker 2: little lasul something you know, be killing out there, Quinn
Speaker 2: and I honestly go to the holiday parties for the
Speaker 2: photo booth.
Speaker 1: I don't go there because I don't.
Speaker 2: Because I don't drink, and I honestly really don't care
Speaker 2: about the people who are there.
Speaker 1: I just want to take pictures.
Speaker 2: So this is my highlight of the night, and I
Speaker 2: just feel like people shouldn't ruin that because I love
Speaker 2: I kill it in photo booths and make sure the.
Speaker 1: Photos are photogenetic. Ugly people don't like photo.
Speaker 2: Booths exactly, So I'm an expert in shutting down people
Speaker 2: in the photo booth.
Speaker 1: Can you please tell people what you're talking about. I
Speaker 1: don't like when you jump in people's photos and we
Speaker 1: not cool like that. Who are you?
Speaker 2: First of all, the line is mad long, so it's
Speaker 2: gonna take us another thirty minutes just to take this.
Speaker 1: So I want to take it and I want to
Speaker 1: be right.
Speaker 2: Okay, So we me you our friend Alzo and Amina
Speaker 2: were waiting online. I see this girl and she keeps
Speaker 2: jumping in people's photos and she's bringing nothing to the table.
Speaker 2: Nothing absolutely no smile, nothing, just jumping in and just.
Speaker 1: No ass like she's jumping in and she like looks miserable.
Speaker 1: Yes you could have just yes.
Speaker 2: So she's in line with us, and I'm like, it's
Speaker 2: gonna be the four of us. I'm looking at all
Speaker 2: four of you. You already told her yes, yes, I'm
Speaker 2: like it's gonna be four of us. I just want
Speaker 2: a photo of us. And she's looking like huh yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: So then finally we get up and we get in
Speaker 2: and soon as we press start, she jumps in and
Speaker 2: I touch her by her elbow and I said, no,
Speaker 2: it's just gonna be the four of But she was in.
Speaker 1: The first photo and if you look at the series photo, God,
Speaker 1: the girl looking miserable. Then she's not in nothing else.
Speaker 1: But the next photo is our friend of Mina dying.
Speaker 2: I want to post it a photo. I want to
Speaker 2: post it.
Speaker 1: Looking like Regina George in the very front of the photo.
Speaker 1: It's not me, she was.
Speaker 2: Going, it's not mean, girl, It's just there's a long line.
Speaker 2: It's gonna take us forever to get this photo again.
Speaker 2: So why are you ruining?
Speaker 1: I mean, we also cut the line several times. Bowguarded
Speaker 1: the white people several times. That was rude too. So
Speaker 1: I was in a lot of photos.
Speaker 2: But you know whatever I mean, don't let anybody just
Speaker 2: get in your photo.
Speaker 1: It's not that serious. It's not that serious serious. If
Speaker 1: you look at the first sure and in the second picture,
Speaker 1: it's hilarious.
Speaker 2: It's too much. It's like, listen, we're here to have
Speaker 2: a good time. And also, when you come to a
Speaker 2: holiday party, what are you wearing?
Speaker 1: What are you wearing? A lot of like flight jackets
Speaker 1: and like sweatpants, sweatpants, it's like a forever twenty one.
Speaker 1: Let's be festive, like put some Christmas lights on your shirt, whatever,
Speaker 1: do what you gotta do. So that people were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: get in my photo. You know, maybe sometimes your face
Speaker 1: is not doing it. Sometimes you just have to bring
Speaker 1: the energy with your clothes. I guess I just want
Speaker 1: to take pictures of people. Who is gonna get a
Speaker 1: lot of likes, That's all. It's not gonna get a
Speaker 1: lot of likes. We can do this another time. It's
Speaker 1: just gonna be the four of us, right, Marie, What
Speaker 1: were you an expert in besides still sounding like a man?
Speaker 1: I was an expert at getting rich kind of quick.
Speaker 1: This week, I made a decent amount of money, right,
Speaker 1: I mean most of it was like doing comedy shows
Speaker 1: for like six people. Right, But like they pay you
Speaker 1: either in check form or in cash. And then I
Speaker 1: worked an event with you. Oh yeah, and we were
Speaker 1: supposed to make X amount of dollars to tell the story, please,
Speaker 1: We were supposed to tell the story a private party dancing.
Speaker 1: I'm lying, don't nobody want to see my back.
Speaker 2: I'm just here to dance with juniors, Junior's birthday party
Speaker 2: or bachelor party.
Speaker 1: Anyway. So we get there and none of the people
Speaker 1: are drinking. Nope, none of them are asking us to
Speaker 1: do anything. They had their coats on and they were
Speaker 1: ready to go before we were halfway through with the party.
Speaker 1: So it was like, eh, well guess and we got
Speaker 1: paid at the beginning of the night. See. But that's
Speaker 1: the problem is that we got paid.
Speaker 2: Somebody just handed us the money and we thinking, oh,
Speaker 2: this is like extra, this.
Speaker 1: Is a tip. It was an old dude. He like
Speaker 1: peeling off cash, healing off money to give us.
Speaker 2: He had a wad of money. Like, honestly, we could
Speaker 2: have just hit him over the head, take his cash
Speaker 2: and run.
Speaker 1: We didn't even have to hit him, says, We could
Speaker 1: have just tipped him over. He would have gotten up
Speaker 1: real slove.
Speaker 2: It was so much money, but I felt like he
Speaker 2: was giving it to us, like thank.
Speaker 1: You girls for just being so beautiful. But it was like, no,
Speaker 1: this is your payment. Yeah it was.
Speaker 2: I was so hurt because I thought I was gonna
Speaker 2: make eight hundred dollars that night.
Speaker 1: Didn't make that much. SI surely didn't. Also, Sidney had
Speaker 1: me convinced I was gonna make it a hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah. She as talking about like when
Speaker 1: she was a waitress and she was making nine thousand
Speaker 1: dollars a night, and it's like, oh, yeah, I'm also
Speaker 1: gonna make nine thousand dollars tonight. Well because a.
Speaker 2: Girl called me up, like, Hey, this guy is gonna
Speaker 2: be there.
Speaker 1: He he pays the moral here, sis. Don't listen to
Speaker 1: your friends. Yeah, listen to your friends. Don't listen to
Speaker 1: white We're white exactly, Hey, white women, thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Should we get into the guests? We should? We should? Okay,
Speaker 1: well intro our guestsys?
Speaker 2: Okay, well, first of all, outstanding writer, stand up at trees,
Speaker 2: woman of gall Okay, she got a core.
Speaker 1: She she got a.
Speaker 2: Core, she got a savings account. Like she's doing really well.
Speaker 2: She is our telling the truth expert. Give it up
Speaker 2: for Chloe Hillard.
Speaker 1: Hey, Chloe, let me see Chloe, I feel like you
Speaker 1: a little bit low? Yeah, something else you can dare you?
Speaker 1: You could be loud? This? This is it? Chloe. How
Speaker 1: do you feel about holiday parties or fellows this year?
Speaker 1: I didn't go to any.
Speaker 3: I haven't been to any holiday parties, partially because I
Speaker 3: one don't really socialize.
Speaker 1: With a lot of the people that go to these parties.
Speaker 3: And I find it interesting that a lot of comics
Speaker 3: in New York City are jockey and thinking that going
Speaker 3: to a holiday party is how they're going to get
Speaker 3: booked there, and it's never how you get booked.
Speaker 1: That's not why I go. I go for the free
Speaker 1: open bar. I go for the snacks. Possibly a massage
Speaker 1: because Gotham Comedy Club did massages last year. I don't
Speaker 1: know if they do that again this year. But I
Speaker 1: don't go to network for me.
Speaker 3: I think you guys are different cases, but I don't
Speaker 3: go to network either. But one for me, I'm not
Speaker 3: going to go to a club that doesn't book me exactly.
Speaker 1: He's definitely not doing that.
Speaker 3: So if I don't work that club, I'm not going
Speaker 3: there to partake and be up in their face.
Speaker 1: Why. It's like, why do that? Well, that's the thing too, right,
Speaker 1: You see a lot of people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the people are jockeying for attention, thinking that the
Speaker 3: booker is drunk.
Speaker 1: They're not.
Speaker 3: They don't give a fuck about you coming in, and they're
Speaker 3: fucking cheese sticks.
Speaker 1: This Chloe already telling the truth. Can you tell us
Speaker 1: a little bit about you? First of all, I told
Speaker 1: you I'm six one wow, six one, A whole lot
Speaker 1: of woman like you don't know. The listeners don't know.
Speaker 1: So I want to just six six one. I've been
Speaker 1: this height since I was twelve, no, twelve.
Speaker 3: Since I was twelve. Yeah, I used to have gross sports.
Speaker 3: When I was a kid, like like six seven. I
Speaker 3: would cry and be like, mom, my body hurts, you know,
Speaker 3: because your body hurts because it was growing so fast. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and so the doctor, she took me to the doctor
Speaker 3: and she's like, yeah, she's growing at night. And so
Speaker 3: I had like stretch marks on my inner like elbows
Speaker 3: and knees and stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, grow. Yeah, weird.
Speaker 3: It's so funny because my brother, my brother, my younger
Speaker 3: brother's like only five nine.
Speaker 1: Damn dude, I would know he wish he could switch
Speaker 1: height with you.
Speaker 2: Every time you see her, a whole lot of women
Speaker 2: please great, No, it's wonderful, Sidney.
Speaker 1: You looking at her like she like she's a snack city,
Speaker 1: always be in my little DM, always saying whether we
Speaker 1: gonna do this on the podcast. Yes, it's what the
Speaker 1: Sydney say your gms. She's no, she's not. She's a
Speaker 1: very supportive cister. Yeah yeah, yeah, that's the city's a
Speaker 1: creep Okay, she'd be creeping on all our female guests
Speaker 1: and some of the males.
Speaker 2: Well, you went on a vacation and you had all
Speaker 2: of the the titties out, and I said, wow, this
Speaker 2: is what you gotta do.
Speaker 1: You gotta go out of the country to show those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know you had boobs like that.
Speaker 3: Nobody, well, most people don't. I just don't show off
Speaker 3: that part of my body. Also because I think because
Speaker 3: especially with comedy, we stand on the stage saying so
Speaker 3: there's a lot of things wardrobe wise that I wouldn't
Speaker 3: wear on stage because you got to think about your angles.
Speaker 1: My angles are good, so just you know, from straight on,
Speaker 1: my angles are from the side, It's like who that
Speaker 1: boy is. I'm like Wesley Snipe's killing it up there. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to be on because I'm tall.
Speaker 3: If I'm wearing like a skirt of anything that's short angles,
Speaker 3: and then like if my boobs are low, if I
Speaker 3: you know, if I get in the spirit of whatever
Speaker 3: I'm talking about and you just your titties bounce, it's
Speaker 3: too distracted. It's too much distract Because when you first didcomment,
Speaker 3: you had your titties out outsis you had a low
Speaker 3: cut time.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it was low to the navel Versachi drinks,
Speaker 1: but I had just brought them. They were brand new.
Speaker 2: They still had the barcode on it, so I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm showing them V neck for everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it was a deep. It was a deep,
Speaker 1: It was a DV. It was a thank you for
Speaker 1: being a respectful woman, Chloe, thank you, You're welcome. But
Speaker 1: so Chloe's tall, you're six to one. And then she
Speaker 1: got this magnificent fro. But you normally don't have your
Speaker 1: hair out. I normally don't wear it like this.
Speaker 3: I normally like will blow it out or breid it
Speaker 3: up or something like I do something too weird before
Speaker 3: I I.
Speaker 1: Just love it out. It always looks great. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. I am.
Speaker 3: The thing is like I do love a good crochet,
Speaker 3: I think because it's just time consumed, like it's time
Speaker 3: consuming happening here and twisted out and play with it
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I am.
Speaker 3: Also, I had stopped I started doing Corosier a while ago,
Speaker 3: and no shade. But like the thing about comedy is
Speaker 3: that when you're a black woman in comedy, people remember
Speaker 3: your look.
Speaker 1: And I was getting confused for other people. You encountered
Speaker 1: that a lot en countered that regularly, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry, that's not
Speaker 1: a compliment, Like no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, I
Speaker 1: get really mad for you. Like, yeah, it was to
Speaker 1: the point. I mean, this is a couple of years ago.
Speaker 3: So this is to the point where like I would
Speaker 3: show up to the club and the other person would
Speaker 3: be there and the bartender would pay them my money,
Speaker 3: like here you go, and they'd be like, no, that's
Speaker 3: not me, that's Chloe.
Speaker 1: What's right next to them? Like you really think we
Speaker 1: don't know nothing alike? Yeah, yeah, we're thinking at the
Speaker 1: same time, I'm like, nothing about not one damn thing,
Speaker 1: not even your elbow. Nothing. Literally.
Speaker 3: But that's because people just glance and they see a
Speaker 3: shape and a color, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: They're not like looking at the details of your shape
Speaker 1: and a color, you know.
Speaker 3: But now, I think when you get to a certain part,
Speaker 3: you know, like you guys are recognized while people know
Speaker 3: you know, you could do anything. You can change your
Speaker 3: hair any day of the week and people will still
Speaker 3: know who you are. But when you're first starting out
Speaker 3: in this business, it's best to keep your hair a
Speaker 3: certain kind of way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get it. I get that. That's fair. You
Speaker 1: know it's a Rianna a couple of years before she
Speaker 1: started doing different colors, and she was covering her forehead
Speaker 1: in the beginning lot. Now she's real free about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, Sydney, say, think it's be said about you.
Speaker 1: You was covering your forearat a lot when I met
Speaker 1: you as well. I had bangs for ten years and
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you with bangs in legit two years.
Speaker 1: You've grown. That shows how much comedy you see, how
Speaker 1: much confidence I give you as a friend.
Speaker 2: Shut up, stay like hey, as soon as you start
Speaker 2: wearing those wigs, I really feel like you can flourish.
Speaker 1: As soon as you wear your real hair. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just feel like you'll really be your want you
Speaker 1: to get your lou pizza nango. No, you can do it.
Speaker 2: You so you come to my house and do my
Speaker 2: hair then, because the way for.
Speaker 1: To do your hair, and you've always be like city,
Speaker 1: doesn't your girlfriend do your hair? Damn Marie, you acting
Speaker 1: like that's what the issue is. Somebody's already helping you
Speaker 1: do it and you're not wearing it out.
Speaker 3: The thing is you have to This is when you
Speaker 3: talk about truth, you can't be truthful until you're true
Speaker 3: with yourself.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I'm not saying you are okay. It's like,
Speaker 1: when did this turn surprise intervention? Fix your damn wig? No?
Speaker 3: No, no, I mean, I think wigs are cute and all
Speaker 3: that stuff, but I do believe that. I don't want
Speaker 3: to say I don't want to make it about you
Speaker 3: and wigs, but I feel like if you aren't true
Speaker 3: about where you stand with yourself, it's hard for you
Speaker 3: to give input or advice to other people.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: So like, if you're not being honest about yourself, like,
Speaker 3: I know what my flaws are, I know what my
Speaker 3: shortcomings are.
Speaker 1: Callby what are some let's talk about it, Let's get
Speaker 1: into it.
Speaker 3: I would say, I am. I am really super focused,
Speaker 3: but not to the point where I'm not really good
Speaker 3: at letting other people in my to my z you
Speaker 3: hear what I'm saying, and especially when you have a
Speaker 3: strong network, like still, I'll do the work twice as
Speaker 3: long by myself. Then just being like hey, y'all, y'all
Speaker 3: want to mind helping me do this thing because I
Speaker 3: have a loan of personality, Because I was bullied as
Speaker 3: a kid, and I was the only child.
Speaker 1: But you're so tall, you look like the bully, Chloe.
Speaker 1: You look like you step on all the kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you stepped to the teacher like we're going to recess
Speaker 1: thirty minutes early today.
Speaker 3: Because I was the youngest, I started school at four,
Speaker 3: So when I started school, I was literally the youngest
Speaker 3: in the class. My birthday is at the end of
Speaker 3: the year, December twenty eighth, so when I started school,
Speaker 3: kids were already five already, you know, like a year
Speaker 3: or half.
Speaker 1: Ye. Yeah, Chloe, I started school early too. My birth
Speaker 1: in September, and I was little and skinny, and I
Speaker 1: was the bully.
Speaker 3: I was the biggest, and I didn't have any siblings,
Speaker 3: so I didn't understand of like snapping and roasting and
Speaker 3: you know, talking ship or like oh she did it.
Speaker 3: Like I wasn't the type of like put some people,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I'm like honest age in
Speaker 3: school and they just.
Speaker 1: You're why they were making fun of you do it
Speaker 1: because you were like honest. You were like I cannot
Speaker 1: tell a lie. I cannot tell him. I hit this
Speaker 1: Chinese boy with a car because he tried to play
Speaker 1: with a toy that I was playing with first, I
Speaker 1: was like, that's mine. I was playing with it yesterday.
Speaker 2: I was ticky, tikky, timbo, that's what it was me.
Speaker 2: And I was just like so meek and I couldn't.
Speaker 2: I was bullied a lot too.
Speaker 1: That's so crazy because like, now y'all are the bullies
Speaker 1: and I'm like the meek one. Excuse me, that is
Speaker 1: a lie. Wow, look at y'all ganging up on me
Speaker 1: right now, a limb. So you speak your truth? Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: so when did you find your voice? Because being an
Speaker 1: only child to me is like a handicap in my mind.
Speaker 1: Just ask somebody you like really, yeah, because when I
Speaker 1: think of.
Speaker 3: People, you have to be so your parent has to
Speaker 3: be very vigilant and socializing you.
Speaker 1: If you're not socialized, you got to find other people
Speaker 1: to play with when you're young. Otherwise, like you, you
Speaker 1: learn to play by yourself and by yourself.
Speaker 2: That's so weird to me because I do have a
Speaker 2: brother and sister, but I didn't grow up with them,
Speaker 2: so I almost was like the only child, and my
Speaker 2: family wouldn't let me play with people.
Speaker 1: They didn't trust nobody. They think like no I understand
Speaker 1: that my family was the same way, but I had
Speaker 1: an older brother and a younger sister, so like I
Speaker 1: was home with them, I played by myself a lot.
Speaker 2: But now, like as an adult, I still know how
Speaker 2: to talk to people.
Speaker 1: That's all I do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but there's but there's a cutoff point, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Like you, you can talk to people
Speaker 3: and hang out with them, but at a certain point
Speaker 3: you be.
Speaker 1: Like I'm over it.
Speaker 3: Like I get over it really quickly in social settings,
Speaker 3: like if it's a shit ton of people when I
Speaker 3: go to a function, I'm not really I'm not really
Speaker 3: the tight.
Speaker 1: Especially being a comedy. People think you walk in like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kill it. That's not me.
Speaker 3: I'm in there, like scoping out in the corner, chilling
Speaker 3: talking to people.
Speaker 1: I know. So how did you? How did you turn
Speaker 1: that into being able to get on stage and do
Speaker 1: stand up? Well?
Speaker 3: Because you stand up, it's less of an attention seeking
Speaker 3: thing and more of I have something to say.
Speaker 1: So so you got things that said, Chloe, you just
Speaker 1: you just did an hour. You recorded an hour and
Speaker 1: it's dope. It was so good. Your laughter, she's so rude,
Speaker 1: damn super supportive. Who's that loud cat in the background.
Speaker 1: I was like the trainer joke, crying like that girl's
Speaker 1: been through it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that happened that day though I did
Speaker 3: it literally that day before my hour, I went to
Speaker 3: the gym and I ran into this guy that I
Speaker 3: had dated for a short time and he ghosted me,
Speaker 3: which is my truth, which is also you know, I'm
Speaker 3: at the point now where I'm definitely feeling more comfortable
Speaker 3: telling things that show me being played on stage, you know,
Speaker 3: instead of like, you know how you have a situation
Speaker 3: where you definitely got played, but you gotta finess it because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to make it sound like you didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like this nigga goes to me.
Speaker 2: But that's crazy club because most comedians, i mean, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to say, like white men, they are always
Speaker 2: talking about how they get played, like that's their whole set.
Speaker 1: Oh it's just be one crying.
Speaker 3: But that's but that is because their whole intention is
Speaker 3: to get on stage and denouncing their privilege. It is
Speaker 3: because if they go on there and they're confident, I mean,
Speaker 3: I've seen some there are some white male comics who
Speaker 3: are super confident in there and come across as being arrogant,
Speaker 3: but that's their whole thing.
Speaker 1: But they're also very attractive.
Speaker 3: So you can't be mediocre, mediocre white face and then
Speaker 3: have an audacity to be.
Speaker 1: Like and bold. Yeah, so they have.
Speaker 3: To do that, like self deprecating shit a little bit,
Speaker 3: or or be like snarky in order for.
Speaker 1: People to be like, oh okay, I get it, you know.
Speaker 1: So they don't have that. I mean, but I don't think.
Speaker 3: I don't think a lot of black male comics are
Speaker 3: that boisterous either.
Speaker 1: I don't think really go on talking about the ship
Speaker 1: all the time. M No, not really. I mean they
Speaker 1: go up there with like a different type of swagger
Speaker 1: to them, like they carry themselves do it.
Speaker 3: But they're not saying, they're not saying right, but you
Speaker 3: feel it, you get the vibe. But they're not on
Speaker 3: stage being like I'm the ship.
Speaker 2: But they're not like woe is made though, And I like,
Speaker 2: I live with my mom and I you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, I live with my mom and I still
Speaker 2: bring bitches home.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's what they do. Yeah, and I make boxes
Speaker 1: like they do all that box make boxes for a living,
Speaker 1: payoff phone bill. Okay, right, So Chloe, Yeah, how does that?
Speaker 1: How does you okay? So you don't say you have
Speaker 1: something to say? I get you guys had something to say.
Speaker 1: And I think the two things happened. One, when I
Speaker 1: first found my voice. I had been bullied all of.
Speaker 3: Elementary school and it wasn't until like the fifth grade
Speaker 3: where I just snapped.
Speaker 1: I literally what happened? You went all carry on them? No,
Speaker 1: I went crazy on this one.
Speaker 3: Like we were standing in line at dismissal and this
Speaker 3: one girl had been just giving it to me for
Speaker 3: a while, like just smart, you know, like like you know,
Speaker 3: somebody could just say something real slick and little teach
Speaker 3: you don't hear it, and they just see your reaction.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: And I always got I always got blamed for being
Speaker 3: a bully because I was the biggest. So it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, they would say crazy shit to me all
Speaker 3: the time, and then I would like spend.
Speaker 1: Say something back and be like Chloe, why are you doing?
Speaker 3: Ye know, like or if they would throw shit at
Speaker 3: me all day and I would like throw something back
Speaker 3: and be like.
Speaker 1: You hit them, you know. So it's so that was happening.
Speaker 3: So it was like psychological warfare and finally this one day,
Speaker 3: this chick said something to me and I literally lost
Speaker 3: And she had pigtails and I one of her picktails
Speaker 3: and I literally swung her back and forth like yeah.
Speaker 1: And then girl.
Speaker 3: Literally when we went outside, like everybody was like, Chloe
Speaker 3: lost it, Like everybody knew, like it was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this she the girl deserved it.
Speaker 1: Chloe lost it.
Speaker 3: So we went outside and my mother was there, which
Speaker 3: is rare because my mom by that point in like
Speaker 3: fifth grade, she would come, but.
Speaker 1: Not every day, but she was there that day.
Speaker 3: And the teacher goes out and she's like, you know,
Speaker 3: Chloe got into a fight with this girl, and you
Speaker 3: know you really should talk to her, like basically, but
Speaker 3: even the teacher knew, Like it was to the point
Speaker 3: where the teacher was like, your.
Speaker 1: Daughter finally finally lost it.
Speaker 3: I don't know, was it a celebration. It was like
Speaker 3: it was like the girl. Everybody knew that the girl
Speaker 3: was troubled. Yeah, so the teacher wasn't really no no, no,
Speaker 3: she's black. And I went to school with like the
Speaker 3: Cosby kids. All the kids in my class were kids
Speaker 3: would like teachers were their parents are like engineers, doctors, lawyers, Okay.
Speaker 1: Where'd you go to school?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the Reunion Clinton Hill? Okay, yes, Clinton Hill. And
Speaker 3: so when my mom came, my mom was like is
Speaker 3: it true. I was like yes, and she was like okay,
Speaker 3: like you know, because she knew I had been through
Speaker 3: so much. And so that was kind of like the start.
Speaker 3: And then after that year, I left at school and
Speaker 3: I went to another junior high school for gifted and
Speaker 3: talented Philip a Skylark okay, tell them credits girl Gifted
Speaker 3: and Talent okay, And it was all West Indian kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so loud, another level not another level of the
Speaker 1: bullying me. They was like fucking open your mouth and
Speaker 1: say some shit.
Speaker 3: They would a type of like like they kind of
Speaker 3: gave me a confidence because I hung out with like
Speaker 3: all the big girls. I was a big girl. So
Speaker 3: they was like, no, we were fucking killing it. And
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, we're killing it. Like they just
Speaker 3: was like not like all like all your insecurities that
Speaker 3: you have, like in our culture, that's not like, that's
Speaker 3: not a thing. And so that gave me a confidence
Speaker 3: to kind of speak up a little bit more and
Speaker 3: I kind of found my voice and and then from
Speaker 3: there on, you know, I knew I wanted to be
Speaker 3: a journalists, so I was like, well, at least let
Speaker 3: me use my voice to help other people.
Speaker 1: And so journalist Sydney, Yeah, I know that. Did you
Speaker 1: ever want to help people with your voice? Though? Like
Speaker 1: you're really just that's each one teach run right there.
Speaker 1: You're just you're trying to help and that's important because
Speaker 1: you have a platform.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think, I mean, I think all of
Speaker 3: us with this podcast, you know, everybody that does this
Speaker 3: or stands on stage.
Speaker 1: I think that's we have to be.
Speaker 3: We have to realize that you even know we're sitting
Speaker 3: in this apartment, we're talking to each other, like these
Speaker 3: words will live on and affect whoever's hearing it.
Speaker 1: And so you have to have some sort of accountability.
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean the tweet the people who tweet, they
Speaker 2: tweet at us. They be like, thank you, listen to
Speaker 2: your podcast at lunch break and it helps me because
Speaker 2: I've had a bad.
Speaker 1: Day and y'all make me laugh. And I'm was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's not even where I thought you're gonna go at that.
Speaker 1: I thought you're gonna say like people tweet things out
Speaker 1: and they feel like those words don't mean anything. But
Speaker 1: people be getting fired from Twitter all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like a lady that was going to Africa and got
Speaker 1: on a plane, like a twenty hour flight and was
Speaker 1: like going to Africa. Hope I don't get aids tweeted
Speaker 1: it closed her phone landed and had already got fired,
Speaker 1: Like while she was in the air, the tweet had
Speaker 1: gotten fired hashtag did she land yet? Yes? Did she
Speaker 1: were going?
Speaker 3: And I think also when it comes to being honest,
Speaker 3: I think people think that that how their personal opinion
Speaker 3: is true honesty and a lot of times can we
Speaker 3: misconstrue the point I.
Speaker 1: Feel like honestly speak on that.
Speaker 3: I think honesty should not have your personal interest invested
Speaker 3: in it.
Speaker 1: It should just be the so people speak their truth
Speaker 1: even if it's not the truth. Yes exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think you should be able to speak
Speaker 2: your truth without saying like, well, you're like, in my opinion,
Speaker 2: this is how I feel.
Speaker 1: But they don't preface it that way. Yeah, but even
Speaker 1: if that is how you feel. Also in my opinion,
Speaker 1: if my opinion don't match up with yours, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: should be okay with getting punched in the face. We're
Speaker 1: getting fired or something bad happening to you. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that like fighting somebody because you don't agree
Speaker 1: with them is right, But like if your thing is
Speaker 1: offensive and I happy to be standing there for somebody
Speaker 1: who's the thing that's like my truth? I feel like
Speaker 1: this thing as the truth. And in your truths okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So your truth.
Speaker 3: Is about where you stand, your philosophy, your ideology, your heart,
Speaker 3: your emotion, that's your truth. The truth is something different,
Speaker 3: and I think a lot of times people project their
Speaker 3: personal truths as the finite, all end all, be all truth.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, no, no, I don't believe in that.
Speaker 2: I don't believe in that, But I do feel like
Speaker 2: you should be able to speak what you think in
Speaker 2: your opinion and people be like, okay, well that's your opinion.
Speaker 1: I heard it, I don't agree with it, and then
Speaker 1: move on.
Speaker 3: But that's why we are in such a problem situation
Speaker 3: we are now, is because people don't understand that you
Speaker 3: don't have to agree with somebody. Yeah, in order to
Speaker 3: be heard, Like, I don't have to agree with what
Speaker 3: you guys believe, But that doesn't mean that I have
Speaker 3: to disrespect you as a person exactly.
Speaker 1: So people want to be right.
Speaker 3: They don't want to People want to be heard, but
Speaker 3: they also want to be right, and sometimes you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't have both.
Speaker 2: But that's the problem here now is that everybody can
Speaker 2: be heard, literally every.
Speaker 1: People who can't read, because people who can't speak, it's like, dude,
Speaker 1: like I don't care about what you're saying right now.
Speaker 2: They speak on topics that they have no idea what
Speaker 2: they're talking about. They didn't even they see one headline
Speaker 2: in their boom. They want to talk about the whole
Speaker 2: thing and they don't know what they're talking about.
Speaker 1: They're like, I'm an expert on this. Probably you should
Speaker 1: come on the podcast find out. I'm probably an expert
Speaker 1: at this. So has telling the truth ever hurt you? Like?
Speaker 1: Have you been ever been in a relationship where you
Speaker 1: it's like, should that that?
Speaker 3: Well, I haven't been in many relationships. I've only been
Speaker 3: in one relationship.
Speaker 1: Watch a man, watch your mouth.
Speaker 3: I was a dated this guy for about two and
Speaker 3: a half three years in my late twenties, okay, because
Speaker 3: I was a workaholic, so I wasn't really trying to
Speaker 3: date like that.
Speaker 1: You're busy, you booked in business? Is booked busy.
Speaker 3: So we were friend We were friends first and we
Speaker 3: saw we always saw each other socially, and we just
Speaker 3: like kind of gravitated towards each other and started dating
Speaker 3: and a relationship was good. It kind of just got
Speaker 3: to the point where I started doing comedy and that
Speaker 3: wasn't a thing.
Speaker 1: It wasn't up. He was a journalist, no, no, here, he
Speaker 1: worked in media. He encourage me, actually he encouraged me
Speaker 1: a lot to get into comedy. He was like, get
Speaker 1: on stage that. He's my biggest supporter. Till this day,
Speaker 1: he's still one of my biggest. Did he come to
Speaker 1: he came to the one? Oh yeah, you did tell
Speaker 1: me about that? Yeah.
Speaker 3: So so he's a really sweet, good guy. And and
Speaker 3: when our relationship ended, I realized that I decided I
Speaker 3: was going to dedicate myself to comedy. And I didn't
Speaker 3: know how trying to factor in somebody else until that
Speaker 3: at that moment, when I was still trying to master it,
Speaker 3: or not mastered, but navigate it, I didn't think that
Speaker 3: would be fair because the last thing I want is
Speaker 3: somebody telling me, oh, why are you going out tonight?
Speaker 3: I want to go out to dinner or come sit
Speaker 3: home with me and watch the game, and it's like,
Speaker 3: I can't sitting uphing.
Speaker 1: My friend in rest. I wonder it feels like that, Sidney,
Speaker 1: I wonder, who feels like that? No, Marie, that feels
Speaker 1: like that. What a peculiar feeling, Marie. You tell me
Speaker 1: that's it. I don't have a man, Okay, well me
Speaker 1: neither do I.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think, and that's when you talk about
Speaker 3: that's being honest with yourself. Like I could have lied
Speaker 3: to myself and been like, oh no, I want to
Speaker 3: be with somebody, even though I'm trying to, you know,
Speaker 3: dive into this second career, and I just would have
Speaker 3: it just would have been problematic.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So also, see that's what happened when you were strong,
Speaker 1: independent women and you don't need no man. You have money,
Speaker 1: here's your own place, you have food in your fridge.
Speaker 1: You were like, ah, yeah, you know what, it's not
Speaker 1: gonna be fair to stay with him. But if you
Speaker 1: didn't have nowhere to go, and your friend was empty,
Speaker 1: like I mean, I guess I like him so like
Speaker 1: I don't really need to tell these jokes every night.
Speaker 3: I definitely know I struggled when I made the career change.
Speaker 1: I struggle. I was broke. I'm talking about in the beginning. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: there's no way you have food in your fridge all
Speaker 1: the time. Well, also because I quit, I stopped journalism.
Speaker 3: And when I stopped the last job I had as
Speaker 3: a journalist, I got to let go because it was
Speaker 3: a so.
Speaker 1: You wasn't even ready he write your lunch planned for
Speaker 1: the week, and they were like, hey, Thursday's the last day.
Speaker 1: Because I realized this job wasn't for me.
Speaker 3: I realized it wasn't for me, so I worked really
Speaker 3: hard to get laid off like I planned it. I
Speaker 3: did just enough and I wasn't negligent, but more that
Speaker 3: he had to at least respectfully lay me off, right,
Speaker 3: And so I got unappointment, so unappointment, and I was consulting.
Speaker 1: A lot of plan the unloy.
Speaker 2: Yes you do, you can't listen. I believe in planning,
Speaker 2: but I don't do the planning all the time. But
Speaker 2: I do believe in.
Speaker 1: I don't really believe in planning. But I gave I
Speaker 1: never give two weeks notice for a job. I just leave.
Speaker 1: Why yeah, why right, That's what I That's what I
Speaker 1: used to do. And one day I was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, I've been at this restaurant job for almost
Speaker 1: a year and I wasn't happy. And I was like,
Speaker 1: let me go give them my two weeks. Not this,
Speaker 1: I'm grown up. First time I gave weeks though this.
Speaker 1: They were like, if you're not happy, you could just
Speaker 1: leave right now. I was like, I wasn't ready. You
Speaker 1: thought you were banking on another check for two weeks.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And then they escorted me out. They
Speaker 1: got steal some forks. They're gonna walk out, they Jesse, Jeff,
Speaker 1: you were They watched me clock out and then they
Speaker 1: were like I was like that, yeah, unless they just
Speaker 1: do because I wouldn't have clocked out. I would have
Speaker 1: kept my hours going exactly. That's why they were like,
Speaker 1: go ahead and put your number out. Yeah, I'm sorry
Speaker 1: you go through that. Yeah, well, I mean now I
Speaker 1: don't have a job, but you're free, and you.
Speaker 3: And it and it forces you to work harder for yourself.
Speaker 3: Being an entrepreneur is very important.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that story was from like a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: I've been fired from many many jobs since then. But
Speaker 1: you don't consider yourself. You don't both of you don't
Speaker 1: consider yourself to be entrepreneurs y. Yes, when I filed
Speaker 1: my taxes, i'd be like this, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: do that other form entrepreneur. Can you explain entrepreneurship? Can
Speaker 1: you explain it? You work for yourself.
Speaker 3: If you don't work, you don't eat, but like more more,
Speaker 3: it's more hands on than like if you don't go
Speaker 3: to a job. It's like you constantly have to cultivate
Speaker 3: means of income for yourself, your independent contracts.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's us, that's us. We do that. We
Speaker 1: work from home, and we think of we try to
Speaker 1: want to look at it and say, oh, that's nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you got it.
Speaker 3: I mean I think also because of the industry that
Speaker 3: we're in, people think that, like comedy itself, working in
Speaker 3: the city is enough.
Speaker 1: No, but no it's not, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: And I think this so much like you said, you
Speaker 3: guys hosted a party, Like, there's so many other things
Speaker 3: you could do.
Speaker 1: You know, you all of us have.
Speaker 3: Done television and writing and all that stuff. You have
Speaker 3: to kind of cultivate it. It's not going to nobody's saying, oh,
Speaker 3: you a comic, So here's all the things you could
Speaker 3: do as a comic.
Speaker 1: Like, nobody tells you that. You just gotta you gotta
Speaker 1: figure out what it is and everything that you can
Speaker 1: do you do as a comic is not the same.
Speaker 1: Think somebody else who's a comment can also do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I'm not trying to walk no dogs. I just can't.
Speaker 1: It's my soul. They won't allow me to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell the truth. I don't like dogs. I
Speaker 1: like dogs, and I still don't want to walk them.
Speaker 1: I'm not picking up dog Poople warms.
Speaker 3: But the thing is, you gotta promote yourself. So you
Speaker 3: gotta have a website. You gotta have as you don't have.
Speaker 1: A website list or something white, It's so easy. It's
Speaker 1: so easy. You just even if you just have a
Speaker 1: single page up with like how email me and here's
Speaker 1: my phone number. Yeah, yeah, we should do that. People want.
Speaker 1: You don't have one either, No, I don't that. My boyfriend,
Speaker 1: the one that I had X manty years ago for Christmas,
Speaker 1: got me a website what see, and then we broke up.
Speaker 1: So I never heard of that. I mean I never
Speaker 1: set it up. I was in the process of like
Speaker 1: thinking about what it would look like. It broke up,
Speaker 1: and it was like I can't. Then be like you're
Speaker 1: yes you can. You're still doing that website from me
Speaker 1: that you want to Well, all you need to do
Speaker 1: is the page information you could have got somebody else.
Speaker 1: You got a plan.
Speaker 3: So your first order of business, both of you, weite
Speaker 3: know before it gets over, is to go and put
Speaker 3: up a web page, a web page at least a
Speaker 3: photo of yourself, links to your work, links to your website,
Speaker 3: I mean, to your podcast, an email address and a
Speaker 3: phone number that they can reach you out. Get a
Speaker 3: Google Voice numbers, so nobody's stalking your real life. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Google voice that and make it happen because people will
Speaker 3: see you and they don't remember, but they can remember
Speaker 3: your name and it'll google you. Every single job, from
Speaker 3: being on television, from writing for TV, every single job
Speaker 3: that I've gotten has.
Speaker 1: Come through people looking me up through my website.
Speaker 3: Last Comic Standing, nightly show, comed every single is people
Speaker 3: just calling my Google voice number off my website and
Speaker 3: be like, Hi, do you have a manager?
Speaker 1: No, I don't have a manager. I don't have an agent.
Speaker 1: And how much does this page costs? A web page
Speaker 1: is free? Yes, we can have a web page for
Speaker 1: the podcast. Yeah, yes, you should definitely have one for
Speaker 1: the podcast.
Speaker 3: Marie, y'all thinking like this ten years ago when the
Speaker 3: ship was like thousands of dollars.
Speaker 1: I know. I'm like, we gotta go, Chaddy, got go
Speaker 1: to WIS.
Speaker 3: You can go to wiks, you can actually go to
Speaker 3: you can make a page on Tumblr.
Speaker 1: I just rode free. Yeah with the dollars. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: go make it on WIS. We can work on that
Speaker 1: on Christmas. Squarespace. That's our news resolutions squares space. SQUARESPACEA
Speaker 1: got plenty of photos. Just put we sure do now, Chloe,
Speaker 1: You're obviously good at like giving other people advice to
Speaker 1: help them fix their life. But there are other things
Speaker 1: that you are claim to be good at that I
Speaker 1: wanted to maybe talk about. What other skills do you
Speaker 1: have that you feel like people listening. I'm a I'm
Speaker 1: a big dick magnet. Hmmm, Well, because you're a tall woman,
Speaker 1: like people with big dicks are like, yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: not necessarily, you just have to know.
Speaker 3: You can you can get a feel of literally no punitentiy.
Speaker 1: You can get a feel of whether or not a
Speaker 1: guy is packing, how is it he walks real slow?
Speaker 1: You know? I in my experience, the men I know
Speaker 1: that have huge dicks, that good posture, no got bad back.
Speaker 3: They I think they carry themselves in a way that's
Speaker 3: a little bit more subtle.
Speaker 1: I don't know. They don't talk about so they don't
Speaker 1: so it's mute nigga got or he can't or he
Speaker 1: got a statter sist thing can't get. They just like
Speaker 1: they just aren't pressed for the pussy.
Speaker 3: They're just the way they carry themselves is very just
Speaker 3: like it's whatever you want.
Speaker 1: It's like you cool like I'm not. I'm not really.
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't know who's that don't get
Speaker 1: pussy hump in your leg? The dude that has a
Speaker 1: big old dick.
Speaker 3: It's like we cool like And also because I'm an
Speaker 3: honest person, I'm just if I feel like I've met
Speaker 3: you in a good in the situation and we're talking,
Speaker 3: it's a good conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna ask you how big addic You just
Speaker 1: gonna ask how big the dickie up to wait either
Speaker 1: or not interested in them, You're just gonna ask. You're
Speaker 1: a child of God and you're asking the super questions.
Speaker 3: Yea and brunch at brunch in the day start because
Speaker 3: I feel like this And this is what women don't realize.
Speaker 3: If a man fixes his mouth to start asking you sexually,
Speaker 3: expects the questions like so tell me because you know
Speaker 3: dude city, Like so what's your favorite position?
Speaker 1: Like what kind of love maker are you?
Speaker 3: Like just when you start asking me that, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: turn around like how wait?
Speaker 1: How bigorry? Has anybody ever ask you? Sure? But not recently.
Speaker 1: I'm a lady now, but like, yeah that guys men
Speaker 1: have never I know men have asked you that me. Yeah, early,
Speaker 1: like early like getting into like first date, second date.
Speaker 1: They'll up in a little sex question some kind of way,
Speaker 1: and you'd be like, what he was talking about? I
Speaker 1: used to do that. My response is wait before I
Speaker 1: answer that question, how big is your dad? Can you tell?
Speaker 1: When they lie?
Speaker 3: No, Actually, most of them are so shocked that they
Speaker 3: end up just telling you the truth.
Speaker 1: They can't believe that.
Speaker 2: I don't even believe a man can tell the truth.
Speaker 2: After that question, you gotta do it yourself. I mean
Speaker 2: you got to measure that answer yourself.
Speaker 1: No. Wait, no, every man knows how big day dick is?
Speaker 1: They lying? They lying if they say they don't know
Speaker 1: half of them can't even afford a ruler. No, no,
Speaker 1: you know what it is. They won't tell you.
Speaker 3: Most guys if their dick is less than like seven inches,
Speaker 3: they'll be like, you know, if their dick is seven
Speaker 3: or better, they'd be like, oh seven, they'll be like
Speaker 3: seven inches or eight probably like nine.
Speaker 1: Ten was like it's ten, and I was like, you're
Speaker 1: He was like, no, it's ten. I was, And did
Speaker 1: you find out?
Speaker 3: I damn sure did find out? How was that all
Speaker 3: of the ten inches?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Would you introduce us after alternate these?
Speaker 1: And yeah, I damn sure, Yes, you could take tenn
Speaker 1: inch's club six ft one says you got just you know,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean anything. That means she could have she
Speaker 1: could have a short SERVEX.
Speaker 3: No, it's not her small uterus. It's apropriate sis, it's sizable.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, people who are tall have big feet.
Speaker 3: Everybody who every woman, your womb is big.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, but my insurance is not ten inch insurance.
Speaker 1: I can't say that. It's not for four less is
Speaker 1: my sharance? No, that ain't for me.
Speaker 2: I've seen what I was dating this dude who was
Speaker 2: from Ghana and he he had like ten or I
Speaker 2: felt like more, and I was like, no, not doing that.
Speaker 1: No, I said, I can't. I will not. That's not
Speaker 1: going in my mouth, that's not going in my ears,
Speaker 1: that's not going through any hole that I crossed my forehead.
Speaker 1: And please take your chicken. I don't even have enough
Speaker 1: hand for that. Nope, not doing it blocked your blessings.
Speaker 1: Most blocked your blessings.
Speaker 3: Most dudes with big digs, if they know, if they
Speaker 3: know that they have a big dick, they're not going
Speaker 3: to just try and like rammed in you do, you
Speaker 3: probably get the first couple of times, you probably get
Speaker 3: half the dick in.
Speaker 1: They know not to go all the way to the
Speaker 1: day there's half the dick. Then the other half don't
Speaker 1: need to know me, okay, the other half of the dick.
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you from all the way over here,
Speaker 1: from eight inches away. We could be friends. I'm unapologetic
Speaker 1: and being a size queen. That's just what it is.
Speaker 3: And it's good because when you let people know, they
Speaker 3: know what they got to bring to the table.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like you're looking at my my,
Speaker 1: you're looking at my, I'm looking at you. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at I'm like, Chloe, So you've never been with a
Speaker 1: guy that had like a little dick? No, I have
Speaker 1: I have? How long were you with him, like a relationship?
Speaker 1: I've only been in one relationship. Okay, So did you
Speaker 1: continue to hook up with this troll, the guy with
Speaker 1: a big dig No? No, no.
Speaker 3: First of all, two different conversations, I've only been around relationship,
Speaker 3: and I was very satisfied in that relationship. And when
Speaker 3: it comes to the big dick guys, you know it
Speaker 3: lasts however long your last.
Speaker 1: Yes, But how about the little dude with the little dick? Dude?
Speaker 1: How long was here? All right?
Speaker 3: In the past, like probably six or seven years? Have
Speaker 3: I been with a guy with a tiny penis? Maybe once?
Speaker 3: Like sexually once?
Speaker 1: And you got your own car, so you saw that
Speaker 1: you were like, I'm out, bye, I don't have to
Speaker 1: wait to do you validate you? Well? Two things.
Speaker 3: A guy that had the small dick, he like, we
Speaker 3: have went out a couple of times, and then I
Speaker 3: finally was like, okay, I'll go back to his place.
Speaker 1: What do he take you?
Speaker 2: Because the guy would have small dick, gonna take you
Speaker 2: somewhere nice like sushi? Is I gotta get you something
Speaker 2: nice to eat so you can be full, and I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna put you up.
Speaker 1: These shallow struggles. All you're gonna get tonight. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you gonna need some more uh uh sushi for that
Speaker 1: sushi for the table. No, we went out.
Speaker 3: This is a while ago. We went out to a
Speaker 3: couple of restaurants, all Brooklyn stuff because like you know,
Speaker 3: local local bars and that, you know, a couple of
Speaker 3: drinks and so so I was like, finally, okay, I'll
Speaker 3: go back to his place, and this is the this
Speaker 3: is I should have been like out. I mean I
Speaker 3: was out the door, but even more so, like I
Speaker 3: was like, I'm never gonna talk.
Speaker 1: To me again. His place was a pig stock. We
Speaker 1: talk about it, Chloe, talk about the truth so disgusting.
Speaker 1: How did you get ready to go on a date
Speaker 1: and you like there's an in the back of your
Speaker 1: mind you think you might bring somebody back home, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't tidy up a little bit. No,
Speaker 1: it was beyond tidy up.
Speaker 3: It was like it was like move ship with your feet,
Speaker 3: like you kept your jacket on. Oh You're like, I'm
Speaker 3: keeping my jacket on when I go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3: That's how nasty place. I'm not taking my shoes off.
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm gonna hold my coat under my arm. Listen.
Speaker 1: I I went to a guy's house and he told
Speaker 1: me to take my shoes off. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you haven't momped in seven years. I will not text
Speaker 1: my shoes off. He said, take one. I said, so
Speaker 1: have you been taking your shoes off because it looked
Speaker 1: like you've been stopping all up in this bitch. Yeah. No, no,
Speaker 1: So place was disgusting. Place was discussed. You knew you
Speaker 1: should have left, that you stayed. Yeah, but I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you see, didn't feel like the dick was gonna be
Speaker 1: good or did you feel like it's gonna be big?
Speaker 1: And this is what happened. I didn't know what I
Speaker 1: thought it was. You didn't have enough gas in your car.
Speaker 1: That's what happened. Phone was about to die. I need
Speaker 1: to charge up. It was like it was about to
Speaker 1: go yellow. I can't get on the road like this.
Speaker 1: I can't get on the road like this, can't be
Speaker 1: on the beach. You eat ten percent, so you and
Speaker 1: you're dying. Phone, stay at the house. Okay, So yeah,
Speaker 1: I think if I remember correctly. He his place was
Speaker 1: a mess. His place was a mess.
Speaker 3: But he was like really adamant about, like, you know,
Speaker 3: eat my pussy. So I was like, well, you know what, Yeah,
Speaker 3: we got a lot of great God thankfully he didn't
Speaker 3: have any condoms.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, good night. Did you have your
Speaker 1: coat on while he was eating you? In my mind,
Speaker 1: you just like she left everything on, including your shoes, shoes, socks,
Speaker 1: everything she said, had her gloves on. Sis. You let
Speaker 1: him you out through the like little hole right here,
Speaker 1: You're like through the zipper. You gotta do what you
Speaker 1: gotta do. Oh my god, damn that. I love that.
Speaker 1: I want to deny him the pleasure of you know me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean some people they get joy out of seeing
Speaker 1: other people who are happy. So people, I'm not one
Speaker 1: of those folks, don't I've never understood it. I'm not happy.
Speaker 1: Anybody gonna be happy? Yeah, I just don't get it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that you're that miserable. I'm a happy person. But when
Speaker 1: i'm not, said she said. If I'm not happy, No,
Speaker 1: when i'm happy, it's like gold falling from the heavens.
Speaker 1: It's like whatever. But like, and I'm usually happy but
Speaker 1: if I'm not happy, I'm not gonna try to make
Speaker 1: you feel good. Not you specifically look.
Speaker 3: As like a you're not happy, you fucking everything up.
Speaker 3: I thought it was like everything's burning because I'm not happy.
Speaker 1: No. I mean I might like start a little fire,
Speaker 1: but like, I'm not gonna burn everything. It's not gonna
Speaker 1: be you know, California. So that's crazy. I haven't seen
Speaker 1: you like that when I'm not in a good mood.
Speaker 1: I'm not in a good mood, and I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: pretend to be. I think that's maybe you. You don't pretend.
Speaker 1: You don't pretend, but I feel like you know you
Speaker 1: said to yourself. And usually people could tell when you're
Speaker 1: not in a good movie, like give Marie some time.
Speaker 1: And yet sometimes it takes them a little bit of
Speaker 1: me yelling at them for them to leave me alone. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're talking to I'm just talking to the listener, okay,
Speaker 1: because I was like, you're not talking to me, I'm
Speaker 1: talking into the leastness. Wait, so, Chloe, has telling the
Speaker 1: truth ever gotten you in trouble? That's what I want
Speaker 1: to like having to somebody put a little dick or
Speaker 1: a dusty dick or a dry dick ever pulled out, or.
Speaker 3: You're like be damn, And they were like, you know why,
Speaker 3: because it's about how it took me a while.
Speaker 1: I used to get in trouble. I was a lot.
Speaker 3: I used to get in trouble a lot because all
Speaker 3: my friends and the people that I cared about, when
Speaker 3: I would tell themselves, they would say, it's not what
Speaker 3: you say, it's.
Speaker 1: How you say it. Yeah, how would you say it? Chloyd?
Speaker 3: Well, when I was younger, like college, early twenties, I
Speaker 3: would say it like literally, I would be like, you
Speaker 3: know what.
Speaker 1: You need to do is oooh?
Speaker 2: Which hate that literally the line that's like you don't
Speaker 2: really want to be my friend because because.
Speaker 3: It's like you're forcing them to change or be somebody
Speaker 3: that they're not.
Speaker 1: This is me. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So instead of me being like judgmental in my honesty
Speaker 3: and being like I know everything, especially because you can't
Speaker 3: really act like you know everything where you don't have
Speaker 3: life experience in here, I was like.
Speaker 1: Early being like, you know what you need to what
Speaker 1: you really need to do is so I don't do
Speaker 1: that anymore. So now when I when I'm having a
Speaker 1: conversation with somebody and they ask my opinion, which is
Speaker 1: also key one let to be black for your opinion
Speaker 1: or act what you think. And then if it's about
Speaker 1: them personally, I would say, well, have you thought about
Speaker 1: are you guys twitch? Are you open to you let
Speaker 1: them think it was there?
Speaker 3: I do, well, yeah, but it's like it's I'm still
Speaker 3: saying a truthful thing, but it's like I'm not forcing
Speaker 3: it on them.
Speaker 1: It's like, have you thought about If you say to me, oh,
Speaker 1: I think I.
Speaker 3: Want to I want to paint my apartment, I'm like,
Speaker 3: what have you thought about like pastels or browns or whatever,
Speaker 3: like whatever it is you know, And I would say,
Speaker 3: because I feel like that's a good vibe for you
Speaker 3: and what you're going through right now. It'll help cheer
Speaker 3: you up, and you thought about it and you'll give
Speaker 3: more thought to it, versus like make this bitch future
Speaker 3: future is the only color that's gone.
Speaker 1: And you were like, no, even if it was like them,
Speaker 1: we delivered it, okay, So you low key like manipulating
Speaker 1: people by like not telling them it was like no shade.
Speaker 1: I just feel like when you wear your real hair,
Speaker 1: you be yourself. And I do believe that. I believe
Speaker 1: that only because I know what. I know you well
Speaker 1: enough to know what your hair means to you. What
Speaker 1: what does it mean to me? I am not this skin?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? I know what. I
Speaker 1: know what you're aesthetic means to you, So I know.
Speaker 3: So when I say that, I'm saying it because I
Speaker 3: feel as though and I didn't want.
Speaker 1: To bring it on you and your wigs, but you did,
Speaker 1: so I feel like I brought it upon myself to
Speaker 1: get the truth. No, I feel like I feel like
Speaker 1: your initial reason for wearing wigs may have been because
Speaker 1: of what you did for work. Yes, okay, yes, and
Speaker 1: so it was filling a role. But also it's not
Speaker 1: time consuming.
Speaker 2: I get my hair done and then boom when the
Speaker 2: next time you gotta get your hair done?
Speaker 1: Me? Yeah, I washed it yesterday, so in a week okay.
Speaker 3: So So the reason why I said that is because
Speaker 3: when you were in that line of work, right, you
Speaker 3: couldn't beat the black queen that you had to fit
Speaker 3: an aesthetic, and the way that people perceived you was
Speaker 3: based on that aesthetic.
Speaker 1: Yes, because you were selling a vision, a dream, an experience. Right.
Speaker 3: The comedy is about who you are innately as a person.
Speaker 3: So that's why I say, when you become fully appreciative
Speaker 3: and own who you are from nappy roots to ChiPT.
Speaker 1: Nails, then ow so just saying that you can stand
Speaker 1: in your truth on stage and that way nobody yeshermently,
Speaker 1: her truth is silky body twigs. It's a middle part
Speaker 1: with a little bit of concealer on it and a
Speaker 1: body tweels. Her truth currently is a twenty two inch
Speaker 1: to the waist or not saying that you never have
Speaker 1: to wear where you again, I'm just saying that you
Speaker 1: know you can.
Speaker 3: When the wig isn't a masking thing or a part
Speaker 3: of your personality, then it's just an excessive Then it's
Speaker 3: literally just an excess.
Speaker 1: You hear that, listeners, put that hair away and stand
Speaker 1: in your own truth, walking your own light whatever sounds like.
Speaker 1: Standing my light is expensive and time consuming. I mean
Speaker 1: weeks costs money to though, and I don't want anybody
Speaker 1: listens to be like, well fuck this bitch.
Speaker 3: I mean you has hair, Yes, she got hair. When
Speaker 3: you straighten this, how long? How long past my shoulders?
Speaker 3: But I also have wigs.
Speaker 1: I have wigs.
Speaker 3: I do crochet, I do braids, I do protective hairstyles.
Speaker 3: But these things are not synonymous with my identity is nothing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: You can still wear wigs, but it shouldn't be a
Speaker 3: big crux of who you are and how you present yourself.
Speaker 1: That's I mean, it's gotten to the point now that
Speaker 1: like white people say the word wig and they look
Speaker 1: at Sydney wig like a black girl with a wig,
Speaker 1: and then they're like chester at her with their oh
Speaker 1: my god. And I'm like, I don't say nothing about wigs,
Speaker 1: you know what garden shorts. And he rude because he
Speaker 1: thinks he's uh, you know, partial black. I mean, he
Speaker 1: said something about wigs yesterday and then you stuck your
Speaker 1: head out and he was like, oh, one with a wig.
Speaker 1: He's got comfortable left. He was comfortable, he was he
Speaker 1: was comfortable. But when is Noah, When is a white
Speaker 1: a tall white Jewish man comfortable? Honestly, I mean they're
Speaker 1: the most comfortable people in the world. Uh, Chloe, if
Speaker 1: you could say, if you could tell the truth to
Speaker 1: somebody who maybe didn't tell the truth to you in
Speaker 1: the past, could we what would that be? Who would
Speaker 1: you talk to? What would you say? Who did you
Speaker 1: lie to? Or keep something from now your chance. I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't think I have a moment where I wish
Speaker 3: I had said something differently to somebody.
Speaker 1: Really you never like you don't never be in the
Speaker 1: shower like I should have said, and then you come
Speaker 1: up with like a whole I feel like you watch
Speaker 1: what you say, like yeh, because I realized that I.
Speaker 3: There are times when I have been flipping, you know,
Speaker 3: when you just be talking to me, talking and people
Speaker 3: like I've had I've had two instances of people coming
Speaker 3: to me years later and being like, you know, because
Speaker 3: when you said that thing to me, it really made
Speaker 3: me feel like shit, or it really made me like reevaluate,
Speaker 3: and I'm like.
Speaker 1: I could fucking know what I said. Like every party
Speaker 1: years back, there was holding on to that. Then I
Speaker 1: let that shit go.
Speaker 3: I ain't even really like, you know, a friend of mine,
Speaker 3: a friend of mine at the time, she stopped talking
Speaker 3: to me, and initially I just thought she was like
Speaker 3: in her feelings about something that didn't relate to me.
Speaker 3: But then she came to me years later and was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: because I just felt like you like you said X,
Speaker 3: Y and Z to me, and I just felt like
Speaker 3: that wasn't supportive, and I was like, I honestly didn't
Speaker 3: even put any weight behind it.
Speaker 1: And she also was dealing with her own stuff as
Speaker 1: well though, because.
Speaker 2: If if one thing, you say one thing to me
Speaker 2: and I'm not going to speak to you like and
Speaker 2: not even address it, that's like I got a whole
Speaker 2: bunch of other things going on in my life as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but how much stuff between them had been brilliant?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: It's like because if you're not exactly, if you're not honest,
Speaker 3: like if you you two are really close friends, and
Speaker 3: I feel like at any infraction, you should bring it
Speaker 3: up because it will just breathe contention and then next thing,
Speaker 3: you know, you'll eat her lass potato chip and she'll
Speaker 3: be like, fuck this friendship, you.
Speaker 1: Know what I Yeah, you kind of cry too.
Speaker 3: And I think I'm more mindful, especially when it comes
Speaker 3: to like my friends, family, to address it as much
Speaker 3: as I can before it becomes a big thing. I
Speaker 3: don't like something, if I feel like you said something
Speaker 3: that I didn't appreciate, then I'll you know, and I'm
Speaker 3: and I'm not above apologizing, so I will apologize because
Speaker 3: you know, when you know when you care about people,
Speaker 3: you can tell when you hurt their feelings. And I
Speaker 3: think an immature person be like so what, they'll get
Speaker 3: over it and a lot of time, yes, that's rude. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you kind of have to apologize and you know, say
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or hurt you,
Speaker 3: you know. And also the apology has to be good.
Speaker 3: You can't just be like, I'm sorry that what I
Speaker 3: said hurt you, versus I'm sorry for what I said.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry that you you didn't like what I said.
Speaker 1: I hate to apologize feel that way. Yeah, no, don't. Don't.
Speaker 3: Don't be apologizing about my feelings, apologizing about what you
Speaker 3: said to make me feel this way.
Speaker 1: Take ownership, Chloe. You should be like a mediator or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in a past life maybe I would, or like a
Speaker 1: pastor's wife, a youth minister. You had it. I felt
Speaker 1: like you could do a little book. Little book, you
Speaker 1: can do a little fix your life. It's giving me
Speaker 1: a brad. I see it. I see it. You'd be
Speaker 1: Oprah in a sweatshirt. You're just sitting on a couch,
Speaker 1: mad comfy. What's the end goal for you? Like? What
Speaker 1: like in an ideal world, where would you end up
Speaker 1: an ideal world.
Speaker 3: I have my own company now, but really bringing it
Speaker 3: to fruition, like from beginning to end. I want to write, produce, direct,
Speaker 3: you know, not necessarily starring, but appearing works that I create.
Speaker 3: I'm all about creating my own, my own thing. I
Speaker 3: don't really rely on other people to do stuff for me,
Speaker 3: and I think that comes from the bullying of being
Speaker 3: the only child. So I definitely want to incorporate people
Speaker 3: into my vision. But I'm just going to compromise who
Speaker 3: I am and what I want to achieve to fit
Speaker 3: in somebody else's stuff. And it's okay to take a
Speaker 3: little bit more time, but to be one hundred percent
Speaker 3: happy in who you are and what you've achieved.
Speaker 1: Oh that, I was like, that was like the most
Speaker 1: wealth thrown out answer to that question. I feel like
Speaker 1: you've been having that on you, Like, that's just a
Speaker 1: question that that out into the universe. She was, She
Speaker 1: was prepared city If I asked you the same question,
Speaker 1: would you even like my end goal?
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I want to believe in myself
Speaker 2: more because I have good ideas.
Speaker 1: Take off the wigses, No, that's what the beliefs. You
Speaker 1: start tired of you, you gotta go. I mean that
Speaker 1: is it is is symptomatic. Bro so tired, I can't.
Speaker 1: I feel look like ship. My head looks crazy. No
Speaker 1: listen a lot of it. It's mainly for convenience. I
Speaker 1: understand it.
Speaker 3: But you also realize that the convenience and sometimes is
Speaker 3: short changing you appreciating who you are. If you're constantly ignoring,
Speaker 3: it's like being fat. It's like, yeah, I could little
Speaker 3: work out, but I don't want to spend the time
Speaker 3: the hour and a half a day, or I don't
Speaker 3: want to change my diet. It's such easier to eat it.
Speaker 3: Like the convenience. Convenience can also kill you.
Speaker 1: Hmm, what does My hair is not fat? Okay, it's
Speaker 1: not fat.
Speaker 2: It's just financially unstable. It's extremely hard. And sometimes I'm
Speaker 2: just like as another woman telling a woman, like, well
Speaker 2: you should just you know, I feel like you could
Speaker 2: do this with your hair. It's like, can I come
Speaker 2: over my house and just help me?
Speaker 1: Every day?
Speaker 3: I'm more than willing to show you how to do
Speaker 3: different styles for yours.
Speaker 1: There's tutorials all over. I see the tutorials and I
Speaker 1: see them and I'm like, that's nice, that's nice, but
Speaker 1: you don't believe it works for you. Listen, I could barely.
Speaker 1: That goes back to the due to coloring books. I
Speaker 1: can't draw in the lines how I'm going to set
Speaker 1: up my hair, but do these braids?
Speaker 3: And what understand that that is a part of the confidence.
Speaker 3: So what I'm saying is that your hair is not
Speaker 3: literally your hair. It's symbolic of other things. So when
Speaker 3: you're saying that you're not confident, I wish I have
Speaker 3: more confidence. We're like, well we'll you're here. I don't
Speaker 3: want to do it because I don't feel like i'll
Speaker 3: do it. That's all of that is confident.
Speaker 1: Damn dude. Full circle, Chloe, are you the hair? Because
Speaker 1: I'm feeling you are. I feel like you really are. Okay,
Speaker 1: So finish your goals. You said you want to be
Speaker 1: more confident. I just want to be more confident and
Speaker 1: my ideas because I have really good ideas, and when
Speaker 1: I flesh them out, I know that they can come
Speaker 1: to something bigger than what they are just in my head.
Speaker 1: And I think that's like where it first starts. Just
Speaker 1: making sure my ideas are on paper and me being
Speaker 1: able to pitch them properly. So people will be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm all bored with that because I see shows and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what was the pitch for that? How did
Speaker 1: they make that happen? Because that don't make no damn sense.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of bad TV on TV, but some
Speaker 1: great pitches. They was in that room, like, well, we
Speaker 1: know people that like they are constantly on pilots and
Speaker 1: they constantly shooting shows, but the shows be trash and
Speaker 1: they get canceled after the first two episodes. But that
Speaker 1: person is on something else in like another couple of months,
Speaker 1: and you're like, well, what these meetings weird.
Speaker 3: Once you sell yourself, then they always airmark you, especially
Speaker 3: if you're a person of color, and they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: we need a black woman. Okay, we have ten women
Speaker 3: that we've met and seen that we like, we just
Speaker 3: drop them in until one fits. And then also, you
Speaker 3: got to realize when you do pitches, everybody in the room,
Speaker 3: which is why I'm more prone to do stuff on
Speaker 3: my own or like with my own network of people.
Speaker 3: Whenever you go to a business meeting, everybody look around
Speaker 3: that room, that conference table, everybody in that conference table
Speaker 3: has to has to validate their salary. So every single
Speaker 3: person is going to try and figure out some way
Speaker 3: to add a ditty high hat to your shit so
Speaker 3: that they look good and it gives reasons, oh why
Speaker 3: they make two hundred thousand dollars a year. So you
Speaker 3: go in it with your own pitch and it has
Speaker 3: to go through a filter ten people, whether they're qualified
Speaker 3: or not, and they all end up changing your shit,
Speaker 3: and then you end up having a product that you
Speaker 3: hate because everybody had to put their hand in it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So you know, don't think that you need a network
Speaker 3: or industry people to validate you.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just may have to do it on your own.
Speaker 1: Boom shacka lock a boom. Thank you, Chloe.
Speaker 2: This has been so everything and more. I just I
Speaker 2: wasn't expecting it to be this deep. But also feel like,
Speaker 2: see you now you got crystals in your pocket?
Speaker 1: Yeah? But you do got crystal stuff? You see pillow? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you put incense in your cervix? What's up? I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like you had the energy, the
Speaker 1: chakras and everything you gotta. You gotta dreamcatch your tattoo
Speaker 1: on your lower back. You got a third eye on
Speaker 1: your clitter. What's up words, Chloe? Where can people listening
Speaker 1: catch you? Oh yeah, I have a podcast. Maria is
Speaker 1: going to be a guest on it very soon. It's
Speaker 1: called Social Misfit with Chloe Hilliard and you can see
Speaker 1: me on Chloe hilliar dot com.
Speaker 3: I have all my shows listed. Join my mailing list
Speaker 3: on my website Chloe hillary dot com. Jow my mailing
Speaker 3: list because I send out exclusives in the new year
Speaker 3: of video clips and show promotions and ticket sales and
Speaker 3: all that stuff. So join the list. And I'm on
Speaker 3: Instagram and Twitter. Chloe underscore Hilliard. Can you spell Hilliard?
Speaker 1: H I L L I A R D Boomillard. You
Speaker 1: could catch us here every week or catch us on
Speaker 1: Patreon for Patreon episodes every freaking Wednesday. That was beautiful.
Speaker 1: This is so good. Sidney, come over here, let me
Speaker 1: grease your scalt. Will you do that for me? No?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. Bye God,