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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, we're back.

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Speaker 2: Did you miss us, because we missed you. It feels

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Speaker 2: so good to be back with our friends. Tt I know, right,

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Speaker 2: the show really didn't stop for us. We kept talking,

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Speaker 2: but our mics were off.

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Speaker 1: Now, some people would say that's a good thing, mainly

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Speaker 1: my mom, but.

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Speaker 2: Most of y'all have been in our dms and commenting

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Speaker 2: on our Instagram posts, asking when the show is coming back,

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Speaker 2: where we are, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it really has been too long, So first let's

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Speaker 1: catch you up with what's been going on with us.

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Speaker 2: We've been traveling a lot, a lot, a lot, Cris

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Speaker 2: crossing this globe, Australia, South Africa, Scotland, Switzerland.

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Speaker 1: You've been going everywhere.

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Speaker 2: I've been in Atlanta, I've been in the Atlanta Metro

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Speaker 2: and if you've been on two eighty five, you know

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Speaker 2: it feels like Chris crossing the globe. But we've also

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Speaker 2: been working a lot, right, Yes, we have so many

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Speaker 2: things that we're still working on right.

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Speaker 1: A planetarium film that's gonna come out in the fall.

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Speaker 1: We can't wait to tell y'all about that.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, y'all are gonna love it. I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: I've been doing more filmmaking, so that's been a lot

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Speaker 1: of fun.

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Speaker 2: If you don't follow Zakia on Instagram, you have to.

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Speaker 2: Her cinematography skills are a one. The storytelling is just

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Speaker 2: chef's kiss.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. And not

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Speaker 1: to bury the lead, but Titi had a baby oo cherl.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I had a baby, y'all, tyson, a little boy.

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Speaker 2: He's wonderful. But that was crazy. Can you believe they

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Speaker 2: let me leave the hospital with a baby?

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Speaker 1: Man? That is still shaking me to the core. That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 2: I'm still healing from that, and we're.

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Speaker 1: Still healing collectively from missing y'all. Like that's been a

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Speaker 1: real big thing for us.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and it feels like we're the drama. I mean

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Speaker 2: I think we're the drama because it feels like, is

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Speaker 2: it ghosting force?

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Speaker 1: Ghosting force ghosting me? So kind of Yes and no,

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Speaker 1: But our heart was in the right place. We just

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Speaker 1: had to get our stuff together. We had to, you know,

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Speaker 1: come back with a new step to how did that

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Speaker 1: song go? We shouldn't have left you without a alia,

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Speaker 1: but we were thinking about everybody the whole way along,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and with y'all in our minds while we were away.

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Speaker 2: You know, this is all set and making us sound

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Speaker 2: like f boys now like like future, very toxic behavior.

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Speaker 1: Okay, now listen, I never am one to align myself

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Speaker 1: with future, but I do think the upside of this

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Speaker 1: is like that part where they say, you know, absence

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Speaker 1: makes the heart grow fonder. But is that true? And

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Speaker 1: who is they? I hate when somebody say they say,

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Speaker 1: you know, they say, I don't know who they is,

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Speaker 1: but I'm hoping it's true in this case. Okay, yes,

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Speaker 1: I hope so too. I don't want our relationships to

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Speaker 1: be damaged.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, and relationships can be so complicated and time is

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Speaker 2: a thief.

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Speaker 1: Funny, there are some people whose absence actually made them

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Speaker 1: dead to me, so yes, rip rih rest in hades.

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Speaker 1: And I know we sound terrible, but we're not the

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Speaker 1: only ones who are trying to figure out all this

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Speaker 1: relationship stuff. Okay, we're gonna talk about that today. I'm

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Speaker 1: TT and I'm Zachiah, and this is Dope Labs. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to Dope Labs, a weekly podcast that mixes hardcore science

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Speaker 1: with pop culture and a healthy dose of friendship. Let's

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Speaker 1: jump into the recitation.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so what do we know about relationships? Well, we

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Speaker 2: know that relationships can be complicated, and we know that

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Speaker 2: being with someone takes work. We also know that every

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Speaker 2: relationship is different, so.

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Speaker 1: What works for some won't work for all. But there

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Speaker 1: are some foundational things that probably most healthy relationships have,

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Speaker 1: you know, or they're built on, like honesty and Okay,

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Speaker 1: so what do we want to know? M like, on

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Speaker 1: the most basic, basic level, what is love? Because I

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Speaker 1: feel like the term love is being so overused and

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Speaker 1: we have certainly lost the plot.

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Speaker 2: Yes, reality TV has really messed with our minds, like

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Speaker 2: everybody's in love on these TV shows where they're with

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Speaker 2: the people, they fill a house with twenty people, and

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Speaker 2: that everybody's falling in love on day two. I don't

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Speaker 2: feel like that's right.

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Speaker 1: No, And if you find yourself running across the beach

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Speaker 1: to separate the love of your life from whatever they

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Speaker 1: got going on under those sheets, that's not love, baby,

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Speaker 1: It's not love.

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Speaker 2: It can't be. If it is, I don't want it.

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Speaker 2: So what I want to know, Like, I want to

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Speaker 2: go through the life cycle of a relationship and find

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Speaker 2: out what is happening to our minds and bodies as

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Speaker 2: we are going through these relationships.

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Speaker 1: Yes, because love is not just in the heart. Okay,

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Speaker 1: the brain is doing things. The body is doing things.

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Speaker 1: And speaking of the brain doing things, some folks are

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Speaker 1: refusing to date someone who hasn't been to therapy. Is

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Speaker 1: that a cheat code or a no? No?

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Speaker 2: That's a very good question. I want to know what

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Speaker 2: are some of the breadcrumbs that let you know this

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Speaker 2: is no good or you're on the right track.

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Speaker 1: Mm, that's I like that. Guide me to the right way,

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Speaker 1: don't don't make me go all the way to the end.

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Speaker 1: If there's something I can see a longess, mays, I

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Speaker 1: like to take a clue. Similarly, what makes a relationship last?

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Speaker 1: And how do our feelings grow and change with time?

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Speaker 1: And how is that tied to, like chemically, what's happening

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Speaker 1: in our brains? Or is there something we need to

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Speaker 1: be doing?

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Speaker 2: And sometimes it's how do you make a relationship last?

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Speaker 2: But it might also be when do you walk away?

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Speaker 1: I think we have lots of questions, so let's jump

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Speaker 1: into the dissection.

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Speaker 2: Our guest today is poet and relationship expert Young Pueblo.

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Speaker 2: If you haven't seen him on social media, you actually

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Speaker 2: have your friends follow him, and if you don't follow him,

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Speaker 2: you have absolutely come across his work. Young Pueblo's book

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Speaker 2: is out and it's called How to Love Better, and

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Speaker 2: we got an advanced copy, and let me tell y'all,

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Speaker 2: it is good, very very good.

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Speaker 1: Young Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: Thank you both so much. I'm excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: Our first question is a very baseline question, just to

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Speaker 2: get everybody, you know, in the right mind frame. There

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Speaker 2: have been neuroscientists that say that love is a biological

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Speaker 2: necessity and we need it for our well being, like

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Speaker 2: we need water, and like we need food and exercise.

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Speaker 2: But we want to know what is your definition of love?

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Speaker 3: Oh that's interesting. I love hearing that connotation because immediately

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Speaker 3: it made me think about love coming from community, coming

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Speaker 3: from friendship, or coming from partnership. Because it is essential,

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Speaker 3: but it comes in a lot of different forms. I

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Speaker 3: think to me, love is something that you not only

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Speaker 3: feel profoundly internally, but it motivates you and like activates

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Speaker 3: your wanting to learn how to care for a person.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's quite the contrast to a lot

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Speaker 1: of the love that we're seeing everywhere for consumption, you know,

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Speaker 1: fact one of the things that we're often talking about.

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Speaker 1: It's just how much we see love in just like

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Speaker 1: reality TV or notions of love, and how that might

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Speaker 1: be coloring our perception. So we know that more than

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Speaker 1: like three million people are tuned into every episode of

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Speaker 1: The Bachelor, it's like most recent season. Why when we

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Speaker 1: look at those couples that come from these shows, not

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Speaker 1: very many are going the distance. You know, even the

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Speaker 1: Golden Bachelor at his big age struggled. Okay, we'll say struggled.

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Speaker 1: And so I'm curious, do you think we've sensationalized love

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Speaker 1: as a society. Do you think these shows are useful

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Speaker 1: when we start thinking about how we think about love.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean the shows are useful in that they're

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Speaker 3: fun to watch, but they're not like what we should

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Speaker 3: be striving for or learning from necessarily. I think. You know,

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Speaker 3: for a lot of us, especially those of us that

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Speaker 3: grew up watching TV in the seventies, eighties, nineties, and

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Speaker 3: early two thousands, we were fed a very specific idea

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Speaker 3: of relationships that really affected our conditioning. You know, this

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Speaker 3: idea of like you meet someone, you feel very strongly

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Speaker 3: for them, you have one struggle, and you overcome that

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Speaker 3: struggle and then you're together happily ever after, And that

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Speaker 3: is just completely untrue. When you're in a relationship, you're

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Speaker 3: basically doubling down on your own personal growth and understanding

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Speaker 3: that just the way that you have ups and downs

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Speaker 3: as an individual, you're going to have ups and downs

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Speaker 3: in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: We live in a time where everything can happen in

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Speaker 2: an instant. You need groceries, it'll be at your door

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Speaker 2: in thirty minutes, food ten seconds to drive to the

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Speaker 2: next window, need a ride, a lift will be at

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Speaker 2: your door in two minutes.

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Speaker 1: And all this convenience is really messing with our brains

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Speaker 1: in that same instant gratification at all times, and that

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Speaker 1: just isn't realistic when you're dealing with your partner. And

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Speaker 1: that's right.

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Speaker 2: If you have a disagreement, it may not be resolved instantly.

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Speaker 3: All these things are geared towards speed, and you know

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Speaker 3: these quick dopamine hits, but like in reality, what is

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Speaker 3: life like? It takes time to build something beautiful and

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Speaker 3: that's hard.

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Speaker 2: I love that you talk about dopamine because we did

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Speaker 2: a lot of research on the neuroscience about what happens

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Speaker 2: when we're first.

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Speaker 3: Following in Love Andruck.

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Speaker 2: All of that, and it's because our brain's reward system,

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Speaker 2: which is located in the middle of our brains, is activated,

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Speaker 2: and this even shows up in fMRIs. So they did

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Speaker 2: a study where they showed folks pictures of people that

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Speaker 2: they love, their romantic partners, and two key areas of

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Speaker 2: the brain lit up like a Christmas tree. And those

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Speaker 2: areas of the brain release hormones like oxytocin and adrenaline,

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Speaker 2: and that gives you your euphoric feeling. And then you

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Speaker 2: also talked about dopamine, which is also released and it's

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Speaker 2: another feel good hormone. You talk about your relationship with

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Speaker 2: your wife as an example in the book. Throughout the book,

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Speaker 2: Can you talk us through what it felt like for

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Speaker 2: you and at the very beginning and how it changed

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Speaker 2: when things got tough.

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Speaker 3: I think in the very very beginning it almost felt

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Speaker 3: ethereal in like the magnetic pull that we felt towards

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Speaker 3: each other, and it felt so enlivening that I was

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Speaker 3: finally speaking to someone where I didn't necessarily have to

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Speaker 3: put my guard up and was just like, wasn't performing,

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Speaker 3: was just you know, able to be myself. But then

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Speaker 3: that opened up. Honestly, what felt like six years of

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Speaker 3: being together on and off that felt like a hurricane

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Speaker 3: because we just did not know how to care for each.

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Speaker 1: Other, something that we've both talked about in a previous

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Speaker 1: episode where we talk about platonic reallyfelationships, but also when

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Speaker 1: romantic relationships, when you have that high, as soon as

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Speaker 1: anything happens, you have a bad feeling. I'm curious, how

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Speaker 1: have you and your wife settled into your version of

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Speaker 1: compassionate love and do you think there are things we

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Speaker 1: should all be aware of, like in this stage to

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Speaker 1: keep your relationship healthy and compassionate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's interesting I think what we've sort of settled

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Speaker 3: into because in the beginning it was sort of the

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Speaker 3: chaos of not knowing how to care for each other

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Speaker 3: combined with the craving for perfection wanted the relationship to

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Speaker 3: be exciting and fun all of the time. And now

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Speaker 3: what we have it's just this deep understanding that that

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Speaker 3: there are going to be ups and downs and that

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Speaker 3: we don't need to fight those ups and downs, and

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Speaker 3: if anything, what we need to do is we need

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Speaker 3: to just properly inform each other about how we feel

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Speaker 3: so that the other person knows that it's time to

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Speaker 3: step up and support you if you're feeling down or whatnot.

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Speaker 2: With all of those good hormones that we get, we

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Speaker 2: also get some of the not so great hormones that

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Speaker 2: raise our anxiety and stress, like cortisol, and when those

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Speaker 2: go up, we have higher stress levels, just like you

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Speaker 2: were talking about in anxiety, and you describ being able

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Speaker 2: to just talk to your partner about that anxiety is

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Speaker 2: such a great step in the compassion that you feel

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Speaker 2: for one another. You talk about that a lot in

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Speaker 2: your book, and there was a really amazing quote that

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Speaker 2: we both loved, and you said, a relationship is not

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Speaker 2: an escape. It is a deep form of arrival, one

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Speaker 2: where if you want to succeed, you'll have to face

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Speaker 2: yourself with great honesty and give your partner a high

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Speaker 2: level of presence so you can keep feeding the connection

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Speaker 2: the two of you have. Can you talk more about

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Speaker 2: that presence and what that means and how people can

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Speaker 2: show up for one another.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really interesting. I've been really thinking lately about

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Speaker 3: the connection between the presence that you're able to give

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Speaker 3: another person and how that's really coming from the presence

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Speaker 3: that you're able to give yourself as you're moving through

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Speaker 3: your wide spectrum of emotions. So very often, like if

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Speaker 3: we're feeling good, we enjoy feeling good. But if we're

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Speaker 3: not feeling good, we run and we either run into

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Speaker 3: our phone, run into another TV show, you know, just

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Speaker 3: doing something to distract ourselves from feeling whatever's happening inside.

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Speaker 3: I used to be so afraid of my own anxiety,

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Speaker 3: so afraid of my own sadness that you know, I

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Speaker 3: was just like I was on a mission to run

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Speaker 3: away from whenever I would feel those things. But now

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Speaker 3: as I've been able to sort of just you know,

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Speaker 3: have that resilience, that strength to just feel those emotions.

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Speaker 1: I think it's really interesting taking your work and kind

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Speaker 1: of using it to I don't know how you feel

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Speaker 1: about this, but I almost want to say using it

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Speaker 1: as a shield against some of the things that we

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Speaker 1: are consuming all the time. You know. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I don't know if this is what I was clicking

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Speaker 1: on or how my algorithm changed, but I feel like

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Speaker 1: I was getting a lot of things in the algorithm

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Speaker 1: that say, like, if your partner does this, they're a narcissist.

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Speaker 1: If your partner doesn't do these things, you know, it

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Speaker 1: was a lot of outward facing about the other person.

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Speaker 1: We talk a lot about self awareness and self work,

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Speaker 1: and I think so often we have this mindset of,

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Speaker 1: like you said, convenience and shopping for the perfect partner

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Speaker 1: and what quality should they have and they need to

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Speaker 1: bring this to the table and I'm popping the balloon

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Speaker 1: if they're not six feet and just all of these

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Speaker 1: things right, And I would love for you to talk

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Speaker 1: a little bit more about how self work feeds into

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Speaker 1: a healthy relationship.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it's everything. I think. You know, when people look

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Speaker 3: at like, you know, what's a real good green flag?

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Speaker 3: And I think probably the biggest, most important one as

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Speaker 3: they have the humility to keep growing as an individual.

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Speaker 3: Because when you show up to a relationship like, no

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Speaker 3: one shows up perfect. Everyone has past pain, like something

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Speaker 3: they went through, whether they experienced trauma or not, something

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Speaker 3: heavy happened, There was some sort of loss, some sort

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Speaker 3: of hurt, and that impacts your present moment Like that

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Speaker 3: is not only impacting your perception, but it's also impacting

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Speaker 3: how you react to the moment. So understanding that you're

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Speaker 3: both going to have things that you work through together

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Speaker 3: and as individuals, I think that just increases the possibility

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Speaker 3: for success in a relationship. Life is hard, and if

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Speaker 3: you choose not to grow, life is even harder.

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Speaker 1: Remember when we talked about attachment styles on the episode

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Speaker 1: with doctor Franco.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's when I realized, I'm so like Sious.

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Speaker 1: I know you from the DMV. Just like guy.

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Speaker 2: He would be so proud, hometown hero.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: As you say in your book, attachment is the enemy

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Speaker 2: of love.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the type of attachment that I'm talking about is

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Speaker 3: the old school attachment is like what the Buddha referred

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Speaker 3: to as one of the causes of misery, and we're

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Speaker 3: talking about like, when I think of attachment, it's attachment

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Speaker 3: towards things existing in a very particular way, like the

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Speaker 3: craving for things to exist in a very particular way

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Speaker 3: that makes human beings very rigid. And if you have

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Speaker 3: those attachments in your mind, they will manifest through your

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Speaker 3: actions as control where you want these people in your

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Speaker 3: life to exist and think and act in very certain ways,

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Speaker 3: and you never want the good things to go away,

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Speaker 3: and you're just basically clinging to the things that you

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Speaker 3: like and very intensely pushing away the things that you

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Speaker 3: don't like. And I think living like that makes life

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Speaker 3: really hard because we're living in this giant river that's

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Speaker 3: moving forward, and if you fight that, life is going

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Speaker 3: to hurt. Life is going to suck, Like it's going

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Speaker 3: to be really, really tough. So instead of fighting the change,

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Speaker 3: our only option is to embrace change and work with it.

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Speaker 3: What I can control. I do my best to have

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Speaker 3: presents in the good moments, Like, for example, I just

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Speaker 3: got to spend a beautiful time celebrating my father's birthday yesterday,

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Speaker 3: and I was so grateful. I'm like, Okay, I'm so

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Speaker 3: happy to be there, But I also know that, like

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Speaker 3: he's not going to be around for the rest of

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Speaker 3: my life forever, you know, Like so that makes it's

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Speaker 3: simultaneously sad, but it also is inspiring me to have

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Speaker 3: more presence when I'm with him, and to hug him

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Speaker 3: more and to tell him that I love him, because like,

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Speaker 3: change is going to happen at some point and you know,

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Speaker 3: one of us won't be around and I can't necessarily

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Speaker 3: fight that, but that does help me better show up

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Speaker 3: in the moment.

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Speaker 2: But talking about how things come to an end, you know,

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Speaker 2: with romantic relationships breaking up, as we know is a

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Speaker 2: very hard thing, and it can really we feel like

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Speaker 2: a freight train is coming towards you, and you can

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Speaker 2: feel a lot of anxiety around that. Folks describe breakups

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Speaker 2: with having headaches and feeling a crushing sensation and a pain,

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Speaker 2: like an actual physical pain that can last a little

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Speaker 2: bit or a long time. How do we know when

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Speaker 2: it's time to break up?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I love that you're pointing out too,

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Speaker 3: tt like how big breakups are, and like, I think

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Speaker 3: we don't often realize how much they shape our minds.

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Speaker 3: Like those big, big breakups, they really affect our mental conditioning,

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Speaker 3: and they affect how we see the present, like we'll

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Speaker 3: look at it through the lens of the past. I

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Speaker 3: think in terms of like signs of when it's time

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Speaker 3: to break up, I think probably the clearest one is relationships.

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Speaker 3: It's natural for them to go through ups and downs.

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Speaker 3: But let's say you're in a relationship and you're just

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Speaker 3: going from one down moment to another down moment to

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Speaker 3: another down moment, and there's very little joy, there's constant struggle,

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Speaker 3: there's you know, sort of like endless arguments, and you're

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Speaker 3: not even really having fun anymore. You're just kind of

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Speaker 3: irritable and it's in the back of your mind and

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Speaker 3: you just don't want to be honest with it. Yet.

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Speaker 3: What I like to write about too, is like, when

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Speaker 3: you know, don't let it drag on. I've seen this

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Speaker 3: happen with people often, where you know they know they

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Speaker 3: want to break up with somebody, but it still takes

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Speaker 3: them like six months to get it done. And that's

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Speaker 3: hard because you're misusing that person's time and you're misusing

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Speaker 3: your own time. So I think being aware, like if

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Speaker 3: you're constantly moving from down moment to down moment, then

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Speaker 3: there's something for you to assess, like are you really

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Speaker 3: right for each other.

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Speaker 1: I do have a question from a friend because I

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Speaker 1: told her, I said, hey, we're interviewing young Poiblo, and

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Speaker 1: I had already given her clarity and connection and so

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Speaker 1: she said, cool, Why wouldn't you have told me this

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Speaker 1: earlier on? I said, because you would have given me

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Speaker 1: twenty questions and so that's not a possibility. You know.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that we've wanted from you is

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Speaker 1: some tips on getting over a breakup. And so I

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Speaker 1: have a friend that's going through a really big breakup,

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Speaker 1: but divorce and She told me that she really wanted

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Speaker 1: to know how you still believe in love and if

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Speaker 1: it gets harder or easier the older you get and

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Speaker 1: the more you have these experiences.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard to especially, I mean so much love

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Speaker 3: to your friend too, because that's that's a big one

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Speaker 3: when people go through the divorces, and that can like

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Speaker 3: really shake the framework of your mind and how you

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Speaker 3: see the world. And I see this a lot, you know,

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Speaker 3: like when I post things about relationships and people commented, well,

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Speaker 3: there's no there's no good men out there. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean some. I'm sure some of the ones that

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Speaker 3: you came across were not good, but like, there definitely are,

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Speaker 3: Like I know a bunch of great guys who are

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Speaker 3: in good relationships and are healthy relationships.

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Speaker 2: And drop their names in the chat.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, here are their numbers. Yeah, this is where they live.

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Speaker 3: I think love is definitely possible. I think, especially when

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Speaker 3: you're like coming out of a divorce, this is one

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Speaker 3: of those moments where it's a big realization moment that

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Speaker 3: you should not be postponing your happiness, Like your greatest

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Speaker 3: happiness is not necessarily going to like come from a

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Speaker 3: relationship your partner. They should add to your happiness, but

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Speaker 3: your happiness is really coming from within.

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Speaker 1: You preach a quarter though, that is a word.

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Speaker 3: And I think it's it's challenging because like people want

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Speaker 3: to lose hope for love, but I think it's definitely possible.

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Speaker 3: But I don't think that you should be waiting for

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Speaker 3: love to be happy. I feel like that's a big mistake.

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Speaker 3: It's especially if you're just coming out a divorce, Like,

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Speaker 3: this is the time for you to design your life.

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Speaker 3: This is the time for you to like make the

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Speaker 3: most beautiful chapter of your life happen. This is your renaissance.

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Speaker 3: This is like your rebirth moments. So use it, make

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Speaker 3: best use of it, because then that inner glow, like

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Speaker 3: as you cultivated and as you keep seeing, like what

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Speaker 3: is it like, how can I be a better friend

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Speaker 3: to myself? What do I need to give to myself

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Speaker 3: so that I can really shine? Other people are gonna

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Speaker 3: feel that, and then the right person may come along

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Speaker 3: who also has that similar quality that they take good

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Speaker 3: care of themselves, and then you can make something beautiful together.

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Speaker 3: But no matter what phase of life you're in, you

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Speaker 3: should never be postponing your happiness. You should try to

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Speaker 3: cultivate that happiness now and then maybe somebody great will

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Speaker 3: come along.

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Speaker 2: At the end of your book, you run through some

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Speaker 2: red flags and some green flags, and so we wanted

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Speaker 2: to just throw some scenarios at you and hear whether

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Speaker 2: or not you feel like it's a red flag or

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Speaker 2: a green flag, or you can give it a yellow

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Speaker 2: flag if you feel like it's not either or kid

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Speaker 2: you want to kick it off.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I think and this is something I've seen happen

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Speaker 1: for real. I don't know if you remember, like the

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Speaker 1: conversation where people say, oh, when you go into somebody's house,

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Speaker 1: like what are you looking for on their bookshelf or

438
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: something like that. Now, sometimes you see great things. You

439
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 1: can see all about love. You might see clarity and connection.

440
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:23,679
Speaker 1: You might see all your favorites. Okay, but when you

441
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: open it up, there's nothing highlighted, there's no notes, it's fresh,

442
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:33,400
Speaker 1: it's crisp. When they are aesthetics only did they read

443
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: it or are they doing it for the GRAM? We

444
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 1: don't know. Red flag, green flag, yellow flag.

445
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 3: You know it's so funny because you two are vicious readers,

446
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 3: like you're both PhDs, and you know I know that

447
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 3: you know how to crush bugs. I think the other

448
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 3: thing too, is like you want to like check to

449
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 3: see where I have a stack of books that are

450
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 3: my favorites that I've read and other ones that are

451
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 3: waiting that are like on deck. So there's that clarity

452
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 3: you want to kind of develop. So to me, it's

453
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 3: like a yellow flag if everything is just like kind

454
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 3: of like designed and picture perfect and you don't really

455
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 3: like are they there to help cultivate your mind? But

456
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 3: I think I would ask, like I always lean towards asking,

457
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 3: like tell me more like which ones which which one

458
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 3: of these books has really shaped your mind?

459
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 1: And why pop quiz baby?

460
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 2: We're going to have a book club right now. Something

461
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 2: that I've seen on social media where people have done

462
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 2: all these think pieces. It on TikTok and Instagram, and

463
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:39,199
Speaker 2: some folks say, if I am going on a date

464
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 2: with somebody, I'm going to ask them if they have

465
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: ever gone to therapy and if they say no, that's

466
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 2: a deal breaker for me. Is someone never having gone

467
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 2: to therapy or not having a desire to go to

468
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 2: therapy at all a red flag?

469
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 1: A yellow flag? Green flag?

470
00:24:55,200 --> 00:25:00,199
Speaker 3: I would say, like almost like yellow green, you know,

471
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 3: it's like It's not necessarily a red flag like that,

472
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 3: because even you can go to therapy and what if

473
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 3: you get one of those therapists is just like, oh,

474
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:12,439
Speaker 3: you're fine, you know, it's the other person's fault and listen, Like,

475
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 3: not all therapists are going to be great. There's definitely

476
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 3: some great ones. I've seen therapists change people's lives for

477
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 3: the better in my circle. So I'm very supportive of therapy,

478
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 3: but you got to make sure you work with someone

479
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 3: who's not just a yes person. And the other end

480
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 3: of that is some of the dopest people that are

481
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 3: so self aware that I know are like painters and

482
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 3: artists and like people who are always in nature and

483
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 3: like that's just the way that they reflect and they

484
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 3: heal themselves. So if they have some sort of practice that,

485
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 3: you know, whether it's like meditating or art or where

486
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 3: they're just like not scared to reflect on themselves, then

487
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 3: to me, that's a big green flag.

488
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 1: These are fun, okay, And this is also I have

489
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: my own thoughts about this, so I can't wait to hear. Yeah,

490
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: they tell their friends all about y'all's relationship. What color

491
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: flag are you giving that.

492
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 3: One all about? Is too much. What do you mean,

493
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 3: like everything, everything, everything? Oh, I don't know. Then, No,

494
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 3: I think something's you know, it's funny because after you've

495
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 3: been with somebody for so long, you know, you start

496
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 3: feeling like like there are things that go down in

497
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 3: not just like in our relationship, but like, let's say

498
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,400
Speaker 3: something really private that happens to one of our siblings

499
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 3: or something that I know that they want people to

500
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 3: not hear, and I think, out of respect, you kind

501
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 3: of just keep it in the tightest circle. And my

502
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 3: best friends like they're similar to that. We tell each

503
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 3: other a lot, and it might be ninety five percent

504
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 3: like a lot because there's so much trust there. But

505
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 3: I don't think it's everything, you know, So I think

506
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 3: that would be like a very heavy orange. Yeah.

507
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: I can get behind that. Yeah, same.

508
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So in arguments, when they're arguing with their partner,

509
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 2: they kind of shut down, but it's because they need

510
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 2: to take time to go think and then come back later.

511
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 2: So you know, the partner may want to keep talking

512
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: or keep the argument going, but they're like I've had enough.

513
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 2: They remove themselves, but they come back later to finish it.

514
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's honestly a green flag that is

515
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 3: not respected enough, and I also didn't. Our argument styles

516
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 3: were different between my wife and I, where I was

517
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 3: like always trying to just like keep it going, let's finish,

518
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 3: let's get over it as fast as possible, and she

519
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 3: needed to move more slowly through it, and honestly she

520
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 3: was right, Like, I think part of the power of

521
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 3: the pause is you're trying to figure out like am

522
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 3: I just being defensive? Am I just trying to win?

523
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,360
Speaker 3: Or am I actually trying to help resolve this situation?

524
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 3: And usually the pause kind of makes you snap out

525
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 3: of your own like irate mentality.

526
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,199
Speaker 2: I love that the power of the pause and not

527
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 2: the pause.

528
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: Okay, here's the next one we have. I feel like

529
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: people sometimes you see people that are in a relationship

530
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: and it feels like one person is putting the other

531
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: person on a pedestal and they're saying like, Oh, I

532
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 1: just don't deserve him, or oh she's so great, I

533
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 1: don't deserve her. People that feel like they don't deserve

534
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: the other person. Now, sometimes that's just you know, fluff,

535
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: But people that really feel like they don't deserve the

536
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: other person. What kind of flag we have going on there?

537
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 3: I think that's strange too. Honestly, I'm with you too,

538
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 3: Like I feel like one thing that I love love

539
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 3: about my really close friends and my wife is that

540
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: they're not that impressed by me. They're not like they're

541
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 3: like whatever. He says some smart stuff, and he says

542
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 3: some dumb stuff too, and I think that's just like

543
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 3: the best thing is like having a circle that just

544
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 3: keeps it real with you and they honor you when

545
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 3: it's time to honor you, Like, I think there's some

546
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 3: some lack of I don't know worth in there, and

547
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 3: as opposed to having that framework, I think it's better

548
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 3: to be like, I'm just so grateful to be with

549
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 3: this person. This person is dope. You know, they're amazing,

550
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 3: and but you're both equally amazing.

551
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: There was a man who was like basically told me

552
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 2: I had my life two together for.

553
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: Us to pursue anything.

554
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 2: And I was like, like me, I was a mess.

555
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 2: I was in graduate school. I was like, I'm a mess.

556
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, you're so smart, and you know you

557
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: have I don't think that this would work. And I

558
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 2: was like, first of all, you're jumping the gun because

559
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to be your girlfriend. Just having a

560
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 2: good time. So yeah, I totally, I totally understand what

561
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 2: you're saying. There's something that gen Z says a lot,

562
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 2: but I want to know your thoughts. They say that

563
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 2: if someone double texts you, like sends two text messages

564
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: back to back, that that's a red flag. Like that's

565
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 2: they're like, oh, that person is I don't even know

566
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: the right word that they use. From our generation, they

567
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 2: would say that person is thirsty or you know, they're

568
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 2: doing too much.

569
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 3: I think I'm really careful with those like those. That's

570
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 3: a big, big, like blanket statement that just doesn't work

571
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: in all contexts. I think some people just like, I

572
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 3: don't know, I'm I'm usually if when I text you,

573
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 3: I'll send like three or four blue lines, like you know,

574
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 3: it's not just like one text. It's like I'll just

575
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 3: send out whatever I'm thinking, and I just I don't know.

576
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 3: I feel like one thing that I really don't like

577
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 3: about current dating culture is that everyone is being COI right,

578
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 3: everyone is kind of like hiding their cars and they're

579
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: just like, I don't want to you know, I don't

580
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 3: want to tell you that I like you because I'm afraid.

581
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 3: But it's like you know it's time for clarity. It's

582
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 3: time for clarity. Just like if I'm really feeling you,

583
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 3: I need to tell you that I'm feeling you so

584
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 3: that we can see if something can happen.

585
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 2: My friend always says, play it cool. Have you left

586
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 2: out in the cold? Oh? Right, I need you to

587
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 2: be thirsty, honey, I need you to get parched for me. Okay,

588
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 2: I don't need you playing coy. I want you to

589
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 2: be triple tech.

590
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: Right. And TT and I have spent a lot of

591
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: time together over the years, Okay, and I feel like

592
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 1: at the end of the night, TT will say like, oh,

593
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: this person definitely liked you, and I'm like, baby, they

594
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: didn't say a word. They didn't. I'm not reading your

595
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: hand signal, the degree you turned your shoulders to the side.

596
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: I'm not reading any of that stuff. And in text messages,

597
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to read between you sent one line.

598
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't even like big blocks of text,

599
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: So I'm sending you four to five messages.

600
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 2: Damn, We're sending voice notes, we're sending video over sending memes,

601
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 2: we're sending links, so I.

602
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 3: Can't identify the voice notes. Have added a whole nother element.

603
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 3: Like I feel like I'm listening to my friends like

604
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 3: mini podcasts. I have to like find a moment to

605
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 3: listen to like a four minute voice voice.

606
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: No, okay, So I think this is our last one.

607
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: And it is that.

608
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 2: A person hasn't ever been in a long term relationship,

609
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 2: like more than three months.

610
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 3: I don't know, I would say that's like green to yellow,

611
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:16,959
Speaker 3: Like I don't think that's that wild per se. I

612
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 3: feel like a lot of that is cultural. People are

613
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 3: just so like anti commitment, and I think a lot

614
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 3: of it is because people are looking for marginal improvements.

615
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: Right.

616
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 3: It's like you're with someone and then you want the

617
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 3: relationship to be like two percent better, so you let

618
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 3: go something great. You literally will let go something great

619
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 3: for the chance that's something better, and it just doesn't

620
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,479
Speaker 3: always work out. So people are constantly, like you know,

621
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 3: in these I don't know, like six week situationships, they're

622
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 3: dating someone for a little bit and then they don't

623
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 3: even have enough time to really build a full relationship.

624
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 3: So I don't know if that's necessarily the individual's problem.

625
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 3: And a lot of people just like I don't know,

626
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 3: they don't they don't want the nonsense. They like, want

627
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 3: someone who's serious and they want commitments, so they're they're

628
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,239
Speaker 3: fine with holding out because they're really fulfilled in and

629
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 3: of themselves. And it's just like if someone's dope and

630
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 3: they really want to commit, they're ready for that. But

631
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 3: other than that, they don't want to play games.

632
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 2: That's a complete different perspective. I think when people look

633
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 2: and they're like, oh, that means they're afraid of commitment. No,

634
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 2: maybe they aren't afraid of commitment and they just know

635
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 2: that they don't want to be committed to that person.

636
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, yeah, I definitely wouldn't write someone off for that.

637
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 3: If anything, I would be intrigued. I would be like,

638
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 3: what's going on here? How are you that strong? Like, what's.

639
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: Before you leave the lab? We need your benediction, your

640
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: parting shot. You know, is there a message you think

641
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 1: we all need to hear?

642
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. I really feel like a foundational piece of the

643
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 3: art of arguing. Like when you're having an argument with

644
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 3: your partner one, you're not trying to win, You're trying

645
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 3: to understand. And that is big because we get so

646
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 3: quickly defensive in an argument and both people are trying

647
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 3: to dominate the narrative, both people are trying to sort

648
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 3: of dominate like who's right and who's wrong. Granted, there

649
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 3: will probably be times where someone definitely needs to apologize,

650
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 3: but usually there's a backstory something happened, and if you

651
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 3: really care for your partner, and you remind yourself like,

652
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 3: this is not my enemy, this is like the person

653
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 3: that I love, my roommate, and let's take turns listening

654
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 3: to each other selflessly. It's just like this Buddhist monk

655
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 3: tiknat Hans said, love is understanding, and that quote is

656
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 3: so true. So it's not about winning in arguments. You

657
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 3: just you know, you're trying to understand how things happen,

658
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 3: and when you really understand each other, the tension just

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00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,720
Speaker 3: fizzles out and you're like, oh, I see what's happening.

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00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 2: Yes, I really loved this episode as our first episode

661
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 2: back because relationships platonic or romantic can be complicated, and

662
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 2: I feel like we have a lot of tools now

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00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 2: that we need to continue our healthy relationship with our friends.

664
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 2: We talked about the power of the pause, right Zie,

665
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 2: and our pause was a little long, and I think

666
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 2: that us coming back to the relationship, we're even stronger

667
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 2: now you know. I don't know if absence made the

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00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 2: heart grow fonder with y'all, but it definitely did for us.

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00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,359
Speaker 1: If it made it grow fonder, drop us a heart.

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00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 1: We want to see it, We want to feel the love.

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00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 2: Yes, show us you love us, we made you. We're sorry. Okay, Yes,

672
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 2: we're standing outside your windows with a boombox.

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00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: You can find Young Pueblo on Instagram at y u

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00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 1: n G Underscore Pueblo.

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00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 2: You can find us on X and Instagram at Dope

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00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 2: Lab Podcast.

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00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 1: Tt Is on X and Instagram at dr Underscore t s.

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00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 2: H O, and you can find Zakiya at Z said So.

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00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 1: Dope Labs is a production of Lemonada Media.

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00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 2: Our senior supervising producer is Kristin Lapour and our associate

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00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,760
Speaker 2: producer is Issara Savez.

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00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,800
Speaker 1: Dope Labs is sound designed, edited and mixed by James

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00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: farber Lamanada Media's Vice President of Partnerships and Production is

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00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: Jackie Danziger. Executive producer from iHeart Podcast is Katrina Norvill.

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00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 1: Marketing lead is Alison Kanter. Original music composed and produced

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00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 1: by Taka Yasuzawa and Alex sugi Ura, with additional music

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00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: by Elijah Harvey. Dope Labs is executive produced by us

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00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: T T Show, Dia and Zakiah Wattley.

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Speaker 2: Two