WEBVTT - Having the Family Over for Thanksgiving

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran. The Elvis Duran phone tappened.

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<v Speaker 2>Dear Elvis. My husband Paul is so relieved. We're not

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<v Speaker 2>hosting Thanksgiving in our house this year. So we're going

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<v Speaker 2>to my aunt Rachel's house. All we have to do

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<v Speaker 2>is bring a salad. Isn't that nice? Nice? So let's

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<v Speaker 2>call my husband let him know that, well, things have changed. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>he's going to go into a panic when he finds out. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>for whatever reason, we have to have the family over

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<v Speaker 2>at our house instead. Let's get me going, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>So Jenny obviously wants to irritate husband Paul. She's doing

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<v Speaker 2>the phone tap herself. Let's listen in to today's holiday

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<v Speaker 2>phone tap o.

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<v Speaker 3>Hellooo, hi, honey, II, we have a problem. What Rach

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<v Speaker 3>would just call me? Her and Karen got into a

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<v Speaker 3>huge blowout and apparently Rachel kicked the stove and completely

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<v Speaker 3>broke the whole stove. Okay, so you know she has

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<v Speaker 3>to cook all the food. So I told her that

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<v Speaker 3>that I'll do it.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, you got to kidd of me, not with all money,

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<v Speaker 4>well me buying all the food.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I need you to go and.

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<v Speaker 3>Pick up all the stuff. They're a mess over there.

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<v Speaker 3>You gotta do this, like right.

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<v Speaker 4>Now, kidd of me. Just forget about it, just cancel it. No,

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<v Speaker 4>not doing that. That's stupid, don't you think.

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<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, no, we have to do this. You

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<v Speaker 3>know how much thanksgiving means to me.

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<v Speaker 4>It's not thanksgivings. This is you being used again. You're

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<v Speaker 4>going to cook all the food, put it on drugs.

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<v Speaker 4>I think they're high. I think that's what it is.

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<v Speaker 4>If they're on drugs.

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<v Speaker 3>I have a list of things that they need you

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<v Speaker 3>to get.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I'm not doing it. It's stupid. I'm not buying it.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not doing it.

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<v Speaker 3>We have twenty people coming to the house.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, we can't do it, Okay, we have to. You're sick.

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<v Speaker 4>You're too sick to do it. Do you get it?

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<v Speaker 4>Call them back. Tell me you're not feeling too good.

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<v Speaker 4>You don't want to get everybody sick in the house.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm feeling okay.

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<v Speaker 4>No, tell them you're not Tell them you're not feeling okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Don't you get it? Go back and tell her that

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<v Speaker 4>you've got the flu.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, grab a pen and a paper.

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<v Speaker 3>Please.

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<v Speaker 4>You think I'm buying food for twenty people, You're out

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<v Speaker 4>of your mind. I'm not doing it. She's not turning

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<v Speaker 4>into me buying everything now.

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<v Speaker 3>Just we were gonna do it anyway, No, we weren't.

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<v Speaker 4>We were not. We were gonna go there and eat

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<v Speaker 4>their food. Now we gotta cook for twenty people. Well,

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<v Speaker 4>you are you ridiculous? You don't you go your fourth

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<v Speaker 4>for this?

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<v Speaker 3>She was crying, so I kind of offered to help.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't care she's crying. I don't care. She broke

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<v Speaker 4>her own stove. Do I look completely stupid to you?

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<v Speaker 4>Do you do? I?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, now she's gonna have to buy a new stove.

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<v Speaker 4>Go buy a new stove. That's a that's a very

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<v Speaker 4>good plan. Well, you know, all of a sudden they're

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<v Speaker 4>inviting you over. Then all of a sudden, oh, I know,

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<v Speaker 4>by the way, you're cooking everything too? Are they kidding me?

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<v Speaker 1>Or what?

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<v Speaker 3>Can you just grab a pen and like, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 4>What I'm grabbing a pen for. I'm not going there

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<v Speaker 4>and plicking up all the bringing it here.

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<v Speaker 1>She's really cool old people?

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<v Speaker 4>Who's old people? They're nothing to me. I know none

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<v Speaker 4>of them. I don't care who these people are.

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<v Speaker 3>Get the list and go, please, Now, I'm not doing it.

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<v Speaker 3>Why are you ruining Thanksgiving?

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<v Speaker 4>I am not doing it. Get it through your hand and.

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<v Speaker 1>Pall them up and tell her please?

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<v Speaker 3>Can you just at least go before you go to work?

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<v Speaker 4>Then I'm not going nowhere? Where go?

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<v Speaker 1>Where to buy? Five hundred dollars worth of groceries?

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<v Speaker 4>Where where do you want me to go?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't see what the big deal is.

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<v Speaker 4>You got to learn how to say no. It's very easy.

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<v Speaker 4>And oh, learn how to say no to your family

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<v Speaker 4>like they do to you.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, look, I'm at work.

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<v Speaker 3>Everybody's looking at me like a nut, so you need

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<v Speaker 3>to get you the sun.

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<v Speaker 4>They're right, they're looking at you, right, and everybody's listening

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<v Speaker 4>to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Paul, Hello, Paul, this is Scary Jones.

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<v Speaker 4>Melvis ran in the Morning Show.

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<v Speaker 2>Your wife's playing a phone tap on you.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Jesus Christy, I finally got you any Oh good time.

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<v Speaker 4>This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by

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<v Speaker 4>all participants. The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis

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<v Speaker 4>Duran in the Morning Show