Speaker 1: Hey, folks, I just wanted to make a quick announcement
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Speaker 1: And now let's get into Oh my voice cracked?
Speaker 2: Fuck?
Speaker 1: All right before I die, Let's get into the episode.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hey, is this the therapy? Get go?
Speaker 1: Yes, sir? Who is this?
Speaker 2: Wow? I'm surprised to get on.
Speaker 1: My name's Chris, Chris honestly, Chris, I don't like you
Speaker 1: might think I'm fucking with you, and but I dude,
Speaker 1: you might think I'm fucking with you, But I really
Speaker 1: believe what I'm about to say. You only said like
Speaker 1: two you only said two things to me, but I
Speaker 1: already like your vibe. I'm not like saying this, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this isn't a this isn't like a bit, just something
Speaker 1: about it. I'm actually I'm actually having a bit of
Speaker 1: a crisis in this very moment right now because I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not even doing a bit right now. I'm judging.
Speaker 1: I'm realizing because of the fact that I can tell
Speaker 1: that I like your vibe after you basically saying nothing
Speaker 1: just like too like sentences, I can now tell how
Speaker 1: much of like me people are judging based on like
Speaker 1: the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Like
Speaker 1: I'm fully realizing how important that like first micro impression is,
Speaker 1: Like how much information is in that little thing, because
Speaker 1: I got so much information about you from you just
Speaker 1: saying is this the therapy? Get go? Oh man, I
Speaker 1: didn't think I would get on and it was crazy.
Speaker 1: A lot of people say, and a lot of people
Speaker 1: say that you're not the first person to say, oh man,
Speaker 1: is this a therapy? Even the way even like you're
Speaker 1: not the first person to say, is this a therapy? Gecko?
Speaker 1: Oh man, I can't believe I got on, But other
Speaker 1: people I've said that I didn't even clock it. I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I swear on my life, I swear my children's I don't.
Speaker 1: I be dead serious right now. Something about the way
Speaker 1: that you said those two things. I'm getting good vibes
Speaker 1: from you, and and I even a woo woo way.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what it is. I'm gonna let you.
Speaker 2: Talk, yo. Yeah, well cool, cool. I'm glad that you
Speaker 2: get good vibes from me. I hope that continues throughout
Speaker 2: this call. Uh yeah, I don't even really know what
Speaker 2: to say, dude. Like, I've been listening to you for
Speaker 2: not very long. Honestly, I've been listening to you for
Speaker 2: about like a month or so. But I've just been
Speaker 2: consuming your content like so much over the past months.
Speaker 2: Just it's like everyone else says, it's like it's really
Speaker 2: gotten me through like some really fucking tough times lately.
Speaker 2: So dude, thank you for putting out good shit.
Speaker 1: I have two questions First of all, did I sound insane?
Speaker 2: Just now? Uh? No, you didn't sound insane. I don't
Speaker 2: think he sounded insane. I mean I feel like a
Speaker 2: little imposter syndrome because like, I don't feel like I
Speaker 2: give a ton of good vibe. But that I mean,
Speaker 2: I feel like you you kind of I took it
Speaker 2: as a huge compliment. I'll say that you didn't sound insane,
Speaker 2: and I totally get what you mean by by like
Speaker 2: being able to read people as soon as you kind
Speaker 2: of you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay. My second question, I'm curious, how did you
Speaker 1: find out about the podcast?
Speaker 2: I saw? I saw a clip on I think it
Speaker 2: was like Instagram or something cool, and I just I
Speaker 2: don't know, I really related to you a lot.
Speaker 1: Cool cool cool. What's your name?
Speaker 2: My name's Chris, Chris, Chris.
Speaker 1: Uh, dude, what's up with you? Man? What did you
Speaker 1: want to talk about today? If anything?
Speaker 2: Dude, there's so much going on in my life right now,
Speaker 2: please please? Uh shit, Well, yeah, this is gonna be live.
Speaker 2: So let's see.
Speaker 1: Let's start with Let's start with the first thing that
Speaker 1: comes to your head, and I believe it will naturally
Speaker 1: guide us towards all of the things that you want
Speaker 1: to talk about. But let's just start with the first
Speaker 1: thing that comes to your head.
Speaker 2: Okay, So my wife and I are getting a divorce,
Speaker 2: and that's uh, that's been kind of like the heaviest
Speaker 2: thing that's been on my mind lately.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. How long has that process been
Speaker 1: going on for?
Speaker 2: It's probably I mean we got separated about, you know,
Speaker 2: month and a half ago or something of that. M hm.
Speaker 2: So right now I'm in the process of like finding
Speaker 2: an apartment and we're going to sell the house and
Speaker 2: things like that.
Speaker 1: M So you guys already lived together.
Speaker 2: We did, Yes, we did live together for uh, I
Speaker 2: guess like six no, five years?
Speaker 1: Five years?
Speaker 2: Now? It was it was like, hold on, so math,
Speaker 2: it's been a long time. Let's just say like seven years. Wow.
Speaker 1: How many kids do you guys have any kids?
Speaker 2: No, we don't have any kids. We do have cats, though.
Speaker 1: You guys got cats? Yeah? How long are you guys together?
Speaker 1: In total?
Speaker 2: For? Nine years?
Speaker 1: Nine years? Okay? How old are you?
Speaker 2: I'm thirty five?
Speaker 1: How old is she?
Speaker 2: Thirty eight?
Speaker 1: So so listen, I mean, listen, Chris, Chris. I from
Speaker 1: the second you said, is this a therapy? Geo. I
Speaker 1: never thought I would go on. I was like, I
Speaker 1: could talk to this guy for three hours. So if
Speaker 1: you if you want to, I don't know. If you
Speaker 1: want to, I'm I'm here, I'm down if you want
Speaker 1: to talk. If you want to talk about it.
Speaker 2: You know, I've talked to so many people about it already.
Speaker 2: I don't really want to talk a ton about it.
Speaker 2: We might get into it later if that's school. But okay,
Speaker 2: I want to talk about something else.
Speaker 1: Well, can I mmm, yeah, well I can? I ask
Speaker 1: you this? Sure, And just because I'm curious what was
Speaker 1: like the catalyst of it, because I'm only I'm asking,
Speaker 1: I guess not well, I mean, I'm nosy in all aspects.
Speaker 1: I guess that's why I do this show. But I'm
Speaker 1: also just like I'm curious what it is after five
Speaker 1: years of living together because it seems s I feel like,
Speaker 1: just like in my head right when I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: relationships and stuff, I'm thinking that, like certain, you know,
Speaker 1: all relationships have kind of kinks and whatnot that reveal
Speaker 1: themselves over time, and nowther get worked out or don't,
Speaker 1: and it just seems like after five years, it's like,
Speaker 1: what else is there left to discover or work out,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So I'm just I'm just
Speaker 1: curious from that perspective, like what, sure, what the catalyst was.
Speaker 2: So I'm I'm generally more like like the avoidant type.
Speaker 2: I guess she would call it and say, you know,
Speaker 2: she's more like the anxious you know, like let's figure
Speaker 2: the shit out right now sort of thing. So we're
Speaker 2: trying to We tried to like work through that, and
Speaker 2: I mean I tried to listen to her, you know,
Speaker 2: I tried to sit down, you know, I tried to
Speaker 2: change my ways and shit, and uh, you know, I
Speaker 2: feel like I really tried hard to you know, to
Speaker 2: listen to her, be there with her, be there with
Speaker 2: her through her emotions and stuff. We tried going to
Speaker 2: marriage counseling for about a year, and you know, at
Speaker 2: the end of the day, it was just it didn't
Speaker 2: it didn't really work out. I mean, I know that's
Speaker 2: very vague, sorry, but like it was not It was
Speaker 2: not like a super like big catalyst that was like,
Speaker 2: oh you know, this is we're okay, you know what.
Speaker 2: There was kind of a catalyst. I'll say that, Okay.
Speaker 2: So I used to drink a lot like heavily, like alcoholically,
Speaker 2: and that was like eighteen months ago. Well no, wait,
Speaker 2: that was like, I don't know, twenty months ago or
Speaker 2: something like that at this point. But so we used
Speaker 2: to drink a lot together, a lot, and that's pretty
Speaker 2: much like all I did was sit at home and drink.
Speaker 2: But I had recently started going to to you know,
Speaker 2: AA meetings and things like that, and I spent a
Speaker 2: lot of time in those rooms. And I dedicated a
Speaker 2: lot of time too, you know, recovery, and and I
Speaker 2: don't think she really appreciated it, you know, she would say,
Speaker 2: you know, it's she would at first, she really like
Speaker 2: was very vocal about like, hey, you're spending way too
Speaker 2: much time away. But like over time she kind of
Speaker 2: told me like, hey, you know, I get it, you're
Speaker 2: in recovery. It's fine. But I think that she never
Speaker 2: kind of got over that. She got to a lot
Speaker 2: of the times she would tell me like, god, it
Speaker 2: you're not. In a roundabout way, she would say, like, God,
Speaker 2: I wish you would just go back to drinking. You
Speaker 2: were so much cooler than you were able to talk
Speaker 2: to me about things then. But man, like, whenever I
Speaker 2: was drinking, I was just I was miserable, dude, like
Speaker 2: I hated hated living. I mean I didn't show it right,
Speaker 2: like I didn't on the outside like a normal human being,
Speaker 2: but like internally I was fucking dying. Like so I
Speaker 2: had to do something different.
Speaker 1: Yeah whoa wow? She really so in a roundabout way,
Speaker 1: she told you she missed when you were drinking heavily.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, crazy, Like what do you mean by
Speaker 1: in a roundabout way? Like, like what did she say?
Speaker 2: She would say things like, you know, whenever we used
Speaker 2: to drink together, or whenever you used to drink with me,
Speaker 2: you know, you would be much more vulnerable. You would
Speaker 2: be able to talk to me about things more you weren't.
Speaker 2: You didn't shut down, you didn't have this wall up.
Speaker 2: And you know, I tried to, like and honestly like
Speaker 2: I whenever we did get in the conflicts I would have,
Speaker 2: I would get I would start shutting down, but I
Speaker 2: would try to notice that I know that I do that.
Speaker 2: So I tried to tried to not do that and
Speaker 2: try to open up and connect with her, but it
Speaker 2: was never quite enough for her to be like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: he's he's trying to do the thing. He's trying to
Speaker 2: work through that ship, like she just I think she
Speaker 2: lost her patience and eventually she was just like, all right,
Speaker 2: he's not he's not he's not in a change, he's
Speaker 2: not he's not gonna do what I want him to do.
Speaker 1: That's wild, man, man.
Speaker 2: I mean I don't want to see her as a
Speaker 2: villain or anything, because you know, I have my I
Speaker 2: have my shit too, you know.
Speaker 1: So okay, so she was so you're okay, So like
Speaker 1: you're an avoidant and she's anxious. So does that mean
Speaker 1: like like was she too emotional for you? And that
Speaker 1: just like you just couldn't handle it.
Speaker 2: I mean, now she definitely got emotional, like you know
Speaker 2: she would and I would I would be, you know,
Speaker 2: kind of stony, like I don't really I didn't really
Speaker 2: know how to.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Mean I would try to be there for as much
Speaker 2: as I could, but I just really didn't know how
Speaker 2: to how to handle it. Like I would be there
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, you know, is there anything I
Speaker 2: can do for you? Like what what can I do
Speaker 2: for you? Like I would look to her to try
Speaker 2: to help fix her, and that would be yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: like what what do you need me to do I'll
Speaker 2: do anything like and that would.
Speaker 1: That was yeah, yeah, like I see what you mean. No,
Speaker 1: that's a big difference. That was an interesting way you
Speaker 1: phrased it. I would look to her on how to
Speaker 1: help her as opposed to like having my own plan
Speaker 1: or thought about. Yeah, And I don't actually I don't
Speaker 1: think that that's some people just aren't like built for
Speaker 1: just aren't good with like crying or with like dealing with, like,
Speaker 1: you know, very emotional people. I feel like it's a
Speaker 1: it's like a personality thing. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: necessarily like a defect, like some people just don't have it.
Speaker 1: Why do you think like it took five years for
Speaker 1: this to like unravel, Like what what was going on
Speaker 1: in year five that wasn't there in year one.
Speaker 2: I feel like just over time we we had more
Speaker 2: and more responsibilities, Like when we first got together. When
Speaker 2: we first got together, we were just living in an
Speaker 2: apartment together. We were both going to a normal job,
Speaker 2: you know, And I can't quite like I said, I
Speaker 2: can't quite tend down one thing. I think it was
Speaker 2: just like a culmination of like, uh, like responsibilities around
Speaker 2: home ownership, the future, like finances. It was a lot
Speaker 2: of it was a lot of like external things, and
Speaker 2: maybe I didn't put a lot of focus or as
Speaker 2: much focus as I should have on the relationship. That
Speaker 2: being said, I mean, I'm I'm gonna get defensive here
Speaker 2: a little bit, but like I know that I put
Speaker 2: in a shit tone of work into the relationship, and
Speaker 2: I really wish that I could have like been enough
Speaker 2: in a way. I really wish that it could have
Speaker 2: been enough, because I mean, we had a marvelous life.
Speaker 2: We had a marvelous life together, Like we have a house,
Speaker 2: we have cats, we have farm animals and a business
Speaker 2: together and like so much, and it was just like
Speaker 2: everything's being unraveled now.
Speaker 1: Hmm hm. So you said you focus too much on
Speaker 1: external things, like you were worried about money and worried
Speaker 1: about finances and worried about home, like more responsibilities kept
Speaker 1: piling up that you couldn't really like focus on the
Speaker 1: relationship itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, m was there like one person who kind of
Speaker 1: broke it off or did it just kind of like
Speaker 1: mutually not work?
Speaker 2: Oh well, she she you know, she she broke it off.
Speaker 2: She broke it off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you want to stay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I imagine living the rest of my life
Speaker 2: with her. Mm hmmm mm hmmm. I like what you've done.
Speaker 2: By the way, Like I said, I didn't want to
Speaker 2: talk about it, We've been talking about it for a
Speaker 2: while now.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2: No, it's fine. It's totally fine. That's why I'm here.
Speaker 1: You know, Well, how long how long ago was this?
Speaker 1: Like have you guys been in contact or is it
Speaker 1: like a complete like no contact now?
Speaker 2: It's kind of just like logistical things. She's you know,
Speaker 2: she's gotten a lawyer. I don't have a lawyer.
Speaker 1: She's a lawyer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, divorce lawyer.
Speaker 1: So, uh did you do a pre nub.
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: So what's what's she's suing you for?
Speaker 2: Well, it's divorce. The worst lawyer thing she she I
Speaker 2: think she did it too, like make things simpler as
Speaker 2: far as splitting stuff. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Hmm, man.
Speaker 2: Hmmm.
Speaker 1: So this has been I suck. I'm sorry, I lose
Speaker 1: track of my own brain. How this has been? How
Speaker 1: long since you guys have not been together?
Speaker 2: Uh? She separated, she took all her stuff on the
Speaker 2: mountain to today. Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: So so kind of fresh.
Speaker 2: It's been like a month and a half.
Speaker 1: Yep, bro, what's that? What's the month and a half been? Like?
Speaker 1: What's been going on?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Man, it's it's been very raw. It's been like, oh shit,
Speaker 2: like I'm living alone. I need to figure out what
Speaker 2: I'm gonna dolunk forward. M hmm, you know, like a
Speaker 2: lot of ambiguity. Like it's it's been a very emotional
Speaker 2: month and a half. I half the time, I'm just
Speaker 2: like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I
Speaker 2: get like these existential crisis is a lot like fuck,
Speaker 2: what am I going to do? Life is is fleeting,
Speaker 2: like I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, I give what you mean, I give what you mean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: life does feel a little a little fleeting. I mean,
Speaker 1: what were you doing before.
Speaker 2: Before? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean you got, you got, You've been dere together
Speaker 1: for well, you've been here for nine years. So yeah,
Speaker 1: well I guess ship Yeah when you were what twenty five.
Speaker 2: Uh something like that, twenty six? But yeah, so how
Speaker 2: do I say? Right? So a lot, but like we
Speaker 2: we moved around a lot. We we lived in another
Speaker 2: state at one point. Uh, Like I worked through regular jobs.
Speaker 2: You worked a regular job, and then we moved back
Speaker 2: to my home state, and uh we had a business,
Speaker 2: ran the business for about here. We ran the business
Speaker 2: for like four years or something like that. Together, things
Speaker 2: were pretty chill, like I said, like first time at
Speaker 2: home owners, so we were just kind of figuring things
Speaker 2: out as it came. I like I said, I was
Speaker 2: drinking heavily when we first got here. Recently got in
Speaker 2: the recovery, so it's like it's been a it's been
Speaker 2: like a with a learning process for me to like
Speaker 2: figure out my own ship too, because like I was
Speaker 2: numbing it out for so long and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is who I am?
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, did you know? Did you well? What
Speaker 1: did you what? I'm sorry, you know that that's what.
Speaker 2: I know. That That's like how do I say? I mean,
Speaker 2: it's not giving you a very clear picture of what
Speaker 2: happened before, right, No?
Speaker 1: No, no, Well I was gonna ask. Okay, so you
Speaker 1: were numbing yourself out and then when the numbing went away,
Speaker 1: who were you?
Speaker 3: What did you?
Speaker 1: What did you What did you find? What did you discover?
Speaker 2: Mmmmm, good question. Well, I mean I was, I was
Speaker 2: uh like pretty broken inside, like I feel like I
Speaker 2: just know I'm just shot away, like throughout my entire entire,
Speaker 2: like entire life. I'd used video games or nicotine weed
Speaker 2: whatever to kind of shut that ship out, you know.
Speaker 2: So now it's like, oh, now I'm I'm this guy
Speaker 2: who who kind of just lives and uh like I
Speaker 2: don't know who who after that?
Speaker 1: You're this guy who kind of just lives?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Bro? Who?
Speaker 2: Uh uh?
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, so no, we're gonna we're gonna do this.
Speaker 1: What are you sober?
Speaker 2: Now? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, how long you've been sober?
Speaker 2: Uh? Let's see, I've been sober for one year, eight
Speaker 2: months and seventeen days.
Speaker 1: Oh that's that's great. That's I literally I could have
Speaker 1: swore you just started. Okay cool?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 1: Oh congrats man, that rocks.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you for really for.
Speaker 1: Real, for real, for real, for real.
Speaker 2: Hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, as of today, March twenty eighth, two thousand,
Speaker 1: who cares if you feel? Do you feel like you
Speaker 1: are just a guy who exists.
Speaker 2: Some days? Most days? I mean I still do, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I really have a purpose, if
Speaker 2: that makes sense, Like I just kind of do the
Speaker 2: next thing like in front of me, Like I still
Speaker 2: have hobbies and things like that, like, yeah, I love
Speaker 2: my hobbies, and maybe that was I'll kind of get
Speaker 2: into this, like she didn't like that I spent time
Speaker 2: outside of the relationship with my hobbies. So you know,
Speaker 2: whenever I got sober, I was like, oh shit, you know,
Speaker 2: I want to do something that's active. I want to
Speaker 2: get out of the house. Uh. And she didn't like
Speaker 2: that either, spending more because before, well not always like
Speaker 2: I spent. So there's there's this hobby that I do.
Speaker 2: It's like two times a week, it's Wednesday and Saturdays.
Speaker 2: And I would go to it pretty religiously because I
Speaker 2: fucking loved it. But she did. She would like throw
Speaker 2: that in my face whenever whenever like, oh, you're not
Speaker 2: spending you're not spending quality time with me, You're not
Speaker 2: you're not doing whatever. But I would. I would make
Speaker 2: a conscious effort to take her out on dates, like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take you out on a date Friday. Every Friday,
Speaker 2: we're gonna grow out on a date, like I'm gonna
Speaker 2: get you flowers, I'm gonna we're gonna go to a
Speaker 2: marriage counseling, Like we're gonna spend some quality time sitting
Speaker 2: down with each other, talking to each other, trying to
Speaker 2: figure out each other's feelings about whatever. But I just
Speaker 2: don't think that she was. I don't know. She told
Speaker 2: me at one point that it's like an energy thing,
Speaker 2: like she didn't feel like I was totally in it,
Speaker 2: whereas like I'm sitting over here pouring my guts out,
Speaker 2: like what the what the fuck? I'm totally in this shit.
Speaker 2: It was confusing.
Speaker 1: Hmm okay, hm hm. And so in the past five
Speaker 1: years you've been living together, you said that you where
Speaker 1: do you live? I'm just curious.
Speaker 2: United States. I'll tell you the state of South Carolina, he.
Speaker 1: Said, in South Carolina. Okay, so the entire are five years.
Speaker 1: Did you have any purpose outside of the relationship, Like
Speaker 1: why do you feel so purposeless right now?
Speaker 2: Dude? Like, yeah, the relationship, so you know worth there
Speaker 2: we talk about like super codependent. You know, I did
Speaker 2: put my purpose into the relationship, as like that was
Speaker 2: my purpose, like to try to make her happy, to
Speaker 2: do everything in my power to make this woman happy.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I understand that being a driving purpose. And look,
Speaker 1: it's not the worst purpose in the world to have,
Speaker 1: but it's definitely a purpose you want to have among
Speaker 1: other things, sure, you know, did you feel like you
Speaker 1: had any purpose outside of that, any purpose about like
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I want to make this woman as
Speaker 1: happy as possible.
Speaker 2: Mmm. I mean I wanted to make enough money to survive.
Speaker 2: I wanted to, you know, contribute to my community in
Speaker 2: some ways, like I didn't not other than that though,
Speaker 2: that was my driving one. Like, Okay, I did have
Speaker 2: you know, I had a little bit of a goal
Speaker 2: to to like work on myself too, in order to
Speaker 2: be a better person for her.
Speaker 1: M h Why did you love this woman so much?
Speaker 2: Hmm, that's a good question. I mean her and I
Speaker 2: just just kind of really kicked it off. She she
Speaker 2: was a really she is a really wonderful person when
Speaker 2: she's not angry. Uh, she's she's she's very sweet. We
Speaker 2: have a lot of inside jokes. She loves her animals,
Speaker 2: she's attractive, she's it's wanted to be around. Yep. I
Speaker 2: wanted to build a life where they're like, I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I hope hopefully the vibe is still good. I don't
Speaker 2: want to I don't want it to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I take back nothing I said at the beginning
Speaker 1: of this call, Chris, I take back nothing I said
Speaker 1: at the beginning of this call. Don't you even think
Speaker 1: for a second that I do M No, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: in uh, I'm in ponderance over your life. Hm hm hmm. Okay,
Speaker 1: So now you're like, what the fuck do I do?
Speaker 2: Yep?
Speaker 3: How do you?
Speaker 1: How do you make money? Right now? How do you
Speaker 1: make money?
Speaker 2: So? I have three jobs right now. I I don't
Speaker 2: want it to say too much, but like I work,
Speaker 2: I work for Mlissy, I have. I still have that
Speaker 2: business I have. I'm working for a startup and I
Speaker 2: work for the government.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, you really do have three jobs?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: How do you have time to do anything?
Speaker 2: I just that's all I do is work basically and
Speaker 2: listen to you. But I still I still make time
Speaker 2: for hobbies. Like my week's pretty full. I'll say that.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you do? You do you have any friends?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I have? I have a very Like my
Speaker 2: friends are my family, Like I don't, I don't connect them. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like the that group, that hobby group, what that hobby
Speaker 2: that I do. It's like it's that those people are
Speaker 2: are my family. And you know, people in recovery are
Speaker 2: also my family. So it's super nice to have those
Speaker 2: people around. I don't know how what I would do
Speaker 2: without them.
Speaker 1: So you've been with this woman for nine years, right,
Speaker 1: and then if throughout those nine years, have any of
Speaker 1: your friends like been in contact, like like have your
Speaker 1: do your friends know this lady?
Speaker 2: So before before I got like sober, I didn't have
Speaker 2: only had one friend, and that was the friend that
Speaker 2: I had from middle school, which was oh yeah, so
Speaker 2: I didn't have any.
Speaker 1: You didn't have any friends before you got sober?
Speaker 2: No? No, oh okay, she was my primary social circle.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, damn. So she was your
Speaker 1: primary social circle from the ages of twenty from essentially
Speaker 1: the ages of like twenty four to thirty four or
Speaker 1: or something like that. So the my map is like,
Speaker 1: but like about a decade, let's call it about a
Speaker 1: decade she was your primary social circle, right right? Yeah
Speaker 1: that's tough. Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: But now I'm like in really developing those those bonds again,
Speaker 2: which again, well I don't know if I ever really
Speaker 2: had them, but like, it's it's nice to to go
Speaker 2: out and like be with people, just be around people,
Speaker 2: even if I don't really think they I'll connect with them.
Speaker 2: On a certain level. But I'm kind of like background
Speaker 2: character sometimes, which is fine, Like that's like I just
Speaker 2: kind of hang out and I get to know these
Speaker 2: people and be with these people. It's great.
Speaker 1: Being out and around people is the only thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: not everyone likes doing it, but to me, it's like
Speaker 1: the the To me, the added of for depression is
Speaker 1: just like being out of your house and in the
Speaker 1: universe as much as possible, you know, right, Depression, depression
Speaker 1: and existentialism really really they come to me lay it
Speaker 1: at night and in times where I'm like not doing anything.
Speaker 1: And I posted this video about like existential depression about
Speaker 1: a little less of a year ago, and someone made
Speaker 1: a comment on it. They were like, the opposite of
Speaker 1: depression is expression, and I was like, that's fucking genius.
Speaker 1: That's genius. And so I kind of have been kind
Speaker 1: of since then, like I mean, I mean, this is always,
Speaker 1: this has been a constant of my life, but I've
Speaker 1: been it's been a little more pointed since then. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, oh, the antidote for like existentialism and depression
Speaker 1: is too just like how can I be of the
Speaker 1: universe as much as possible? You know, Like I could
Speaker 1: be around people doing things like like on missions. My
Speaker 1: mind demanded somewhere shit like that. So you know, I
Speaker 1: mean it sounds like this relationship, although it was nice,
Speaker 1: it sounds like it kind of kept you from being
Speaker 1: of the universe for a for the better part of
Speaker 1: a decade. Is that accurate?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's so profound. That's so profound. I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, yes, it's it's very true. I get it.
Speaker 2: My I was a part of it in a very
Speaker 2: in a very contained sense.
Speaker 1: Exactly, Yes, a very contained sense, uh, which is which
Speaker 1: is fine. I mean that container, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: joy in that container. People find a lot of joy
Speaker 1: in that container. I think there's a lot of joy
Speaker 1: to be found in that container. There's a listen, dude. Also,
Speaker 1: by the by the way, the thing about that container, right,
Speaker 1: this this thing about like you have your friends and
Speaker 1: you have your people, but you feel like a background character.
Speaker 1: There's there's a lot of trade offs. And I'll explain
Speaker 1: this of like, you know, you can go out right
Speaker 1: and you can be a part of a big community
Speaker 1: and you can be valued in that community, and you
Speaker 1: can be uh really helpful in that community. And those
Speaker 1: people can feel like your family and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you feel this way, but this
Speaker 1: is the way I kind of feel, where it's like
Speaker 1: like there's there can there can be, there can be
Speaker 1: there can be like people who are like around you
Speaker 1: in life. But there's a difference between that and like
Speaker 1: people who are like in your life, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And that quick because you go to you cause,
Speaker 1: you go to the rock climbing gym, or you go
Speaker 1: to the comedy open mic, or you go to the whatever,
Speaker 1: and you have a good time with everyone. But at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, everyone goes home, at the
Speaker 1: very end of the day, at the very end of
Speaker 1: the day, everyone goes home to their own little container,
Speaker 1: and you want to have a quality container. Still, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't completely neglect the value of the content, but I
Speaker 1: think a real at least to me, a real quality
Speaker 1: life is about like, Okay, if you spend too much
Speaker 1: time in that container, and that container is your entire universe,
Speaker 1: then uh, you know, if you get divorced or or
Speaker 1: even if you don't, you just you just kind of
Speaker 1: find yourself confined to that container. And then if you're
Speaker 1: in the universe that's really great. If I had to
Speaker 1: pick between one hundred percent in the universe or one
Speaker 1: hundred percent the container, I'm picking one hundredercent in the universe.
Speaker 1: If you're in the universe, that's great. The universe is
Speaker 1: a great place to be. But you might find depending
Speaker 1: on the kind of person you are, if you're of
Speaker 1: the universe, uh, indefinitely you you kind of that's how
Speaker 1: that's how you wind up going back to your container
Speaker 1: being like, Oh, I'm kind of fucking lonely. Like everyone
Speaker 1: else has their lives and I get to interact with
Speaker 1: other people my life, and these are the people's lives,
Speaker 1: like they're they're rubbing up against each other, and that's
Speaker 1: nice and that's great, but like, who's really at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, who's really who's really in my life,
Speaker 1: who's really in my day to day decisions and in
Speaker 1: my day to day existence, and like, you know, fucking
Speaker 1: sharing a life with him, you know. And I think
Speaker 1: it's important to have people who are really in your life,
Speaker 1: but also important to balance that with like being of
Speaker 1: the universe. So it's a tricky it's a tricky balance
Speaker 1: to have. It sounds like you were a little bit
Speaker 1: more in your container for the better part of a decade,
Speaker 1: and now you're learning how to be more of the universe.
Speaker 1: But this is good. It sounds like this is a
Speaker 1: good thing. Actually, it sounds like this is a good thing.
Speaker 1: This is a good development for you in some way.
Speaker 2: I think so, I think, you know, I think so,
Speaker 2: Like when very first, I mean, it's it's still kind
Speaker 2: of it's still it's still very fresh, but like, ultimately,
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's a good change, because yeah, like
Speaker 2: branching out being of the universes is ultimately better than
Speaker 2: being in like a super you know, codependent uh potentially
Speaker 2: like negative container. Like yeah, yeah, I don't really know
Speaker 2: what to say.
Speaker 1: So well, let me ask you this. We've been talking
Speaker 1: for about thirty five minutes. I know you said there
Speaker 1: was a lot of different things you wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1: The divorce was only one of them. Was there anything else?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So I'll talk about like there's a so that
Speaker 2: the hobby that I'll talk about that of it a
Speaker 2: little bit if that's cool?
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, what is it?
Speaker 2: Sure? So the hobby that I recently picked up by
Speaker 2: a year ago is foam fighting, like with foam.
Speaker 1: So oh, you're a fucking larfer. Dude, You're a larfer.
Speaker 2: Fuck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, that's awesome. That's so cool.
Speaker 2: I am dude. I've just I fucking love it. Like
Speaker 2: it's it's not like so the one that I play,
Speaker 2: it's not you're not like role playing per se, but
Speaker 2: you are like using foam swords and foam shields. It's
Speaker 2: like almost like a martial art. Uh. And it sounds
Speaker 2: very nerdy, but like it's so much, it has so
Speaker 2: many buffs, so it's like, uh, it's it's outside. You're socializing,
Speaker 2: you're getting better at something. You're like learning different maneuvers
Speaker 2: to like out smart your opponent. Uh. I just I've
Speaker 2: been really on this kick lately and I fucking love it.
Speaker 2: It's called Bella Gars. Yeah, Bella b E L E
Speaker 2: g A r th.
Speaker 1: H Mmm. Have you met a lot of friends doing this?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I've met a lot of really good people.
Speaker 2: Like the communities and belly Art are super welcoming, especially
Speaker 2: the one that I've I've recently become a part of.
Speaker 2: Like like I said, they they are essentially like family.
Speaker 2: Like everyone's super cool, Like everyone's super like wanting to
Speaker 2: YouTube to improve and just we hang out outside of
Speaker 2: outside of the group. I mean, it's been super super nice.
Speaker 2: Uh so yeah, and it makes me it it taps
Speaker 2: into that that part of me that like, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I used to play a lot of like Skyrim and
Speaker 2: like Elder Scrolls and like role playing games, and I
Speaker 2: actually had to do it outside with people. Cool, and
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's really cool. It's really fun events
Speaker 2: that happened. I've been doing it for for for for
Speaker 2: ten months now.
Speaker 1: Okay. Cool, Okay, so you must have acted, you must
Speaker 1: have made some like actual friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an definitely.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's get into this real quick because I actually
Speaker 1: have some thoughts about this. You say that you're a
Speaker 1: background character, right, you don't feel like you're really like Okay,
Speaker 1: there's clear solutions to this. Okay, First of all, how
Speaker 1: do you feel about your status as a background character?
Speaker 1: Would you like to be less of a background character?
Speaker 2: You know, I feel like subtly like I'm moving from
Speaker 2: the background character to becoming more of like I don't
Speaker 2: want to say main character, but like a like an extra.
Speaker 1: Here's what you gotta do, Here's what you gotta do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: here's what you gotta do you have to start the key?
Speaker 1: I learned this a long time ago. The key to
Speaker 1: in any scene you're in a scene, right, The key
Speaker 1: in any scene if you are feeling like a background
Speaker 1: character is you must add value to the scene. Right.
Speaker 1: So well, I learned to this a long time ago.
Speaker 1: When I was in college. I had two things. I
Speaker 1: still love these things, but you know, I was doing
Speaker 1: a lot of stand up comedy, and I was doing
Speaker 1: like Super Smash Brothers tournaments. And I would show up
Speaker 1: at these open mics. And I would show up at
Speaker 1: these tournaments and like, I would know people there, and
Speaker 1: I would have fun and I would make some friends.
Speaker 1: But I again, you feel a little bit like a
Speaker 1: background character. And it wasn't until I started putting on
Speaker 1: the shows and the open mics, or I started putting
Speaker 1: on the tournaments that I went from a background character
Speaker 1: to really being a part of the scene. So that's
Speaker 1: the key in any scene. And it's not, by the way,
Speaker 1: this is not like a transactional thing. It's just like
Speaker 1: you know, you you you gotta you gotta host the party.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You gotta have everyone in
Speaker 1: your backyard to fucking hit each other. With swords or whatever,
Speaker 1: because they're like, oh shit, this is this is you know,
Speaker 1: this is Chris's backyard. They start to recognize you because
Speaker 1: you've added some form of value to the scene. You
Speaker 1: now become a part. You now go from like kind
Speaker 1: of a a consumer of the scene to a contributor
Speaker 1: of it. And that is what really kind of makes
Speaker 1: you a bit, you know, a pillar of this community.
Speaker 1: So so if I were you, if I if I
Speaker 1: wanted to to find a way to elevate myself from
Speaker 1: just a background character to really feeling like, uh uh,
Speaker 1: these people are like in this community is like kind
Speaker 1: of part of my my ship, I would start putting
Speaker 1: on events or just figuring out how you can contribute. Right,
Speaker 1: you just have to contribute. You get a contribute. You
Speaker 1: can't it's not a it's not enough to just show
Speaker 1: up consistently. You can show up consistently, be usefully be
Speaker 1: a background character. Where it's once you start to contribute
Speaker 1: is when you elevate yourself from background character to like,
Speaker 1: oh I'm a cornerstone of the uh fucking South Carolina
Speaker 1: larp scene. So that's that's my.
Speaker 2: That that helps that helpful lot. Yeah, like I will
Speaker 2: I will start, like because so there's a lot of
Speaker 2: volunteer opportunities in it too, So maybe I'll start like
Speaker 2: volunteering some more in the games and stuff. So that's
Speaker 2: that's actually a really good idea. Yeah, when you say it,
Speaker 2: when you say when you say put on put on stuff,
Speaker 2: like you said open mic and uh super Smash Brothers.
Speaker 2: Like so did you did you like say, hey, everybody,
Speaker 2: come to my house, We're going to play Smash or
Speaker 2: did you like put on the show? Like what what
Speaker 2: was that process like for you?
Speaker 1: Well, it's I mean it's easy because, like in anything,
Speaker 1: there's always more people that want to participate in the
Speaker 1: thing than than want to put it on, right sure,
Speaker 1: like like like I mean I'll use those twos. I'll
Speaker 1: use comedy, and I'll use uh uh, I'll use I'll
Speaker 1: use Smash Bros. It's like there's way more like players
Speaker 1: than there are tournament organizers. There's way more comedians than
Speaker 1: there are people putting on the open mics. So in
Speaker 1: any there's always going to be like more people who
Speaker 1: want to attend events than there are events.
Speaker 2: That makes sense.
Speaker 1: So all you so just like do like like listen
Speaker 1: you the all these like all these people, all these
Speaker 1: LARPer people, Like they're gonna want fucking more opportunities to
Speaker 1: do their thing. So if you give them more opportunities
Speaker 1: to do their thing, you start becoming an important part
Speaker 1: of the community. So it's like it's very much if
Speaker 1: you build it, they will come type of thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you still got to start of some way, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I will. I will say. I will say
Speaker 2: last night that I did. So there's a a discord
Speaker 2: and I posted like, Hey, it's kind of like, it's
Speaker 2: funny because you mentioned that, because like this is kind
Speaker 2: of a this is kind of a crossover to what
Speaker 2: you were saying, is that last night I posted something
Speaker 2: in the discord. I was like, hey, who wants to
Speaker 2: go to this improv show? And that was like kind
Speaker 2: of outside of my comfort zone because I'm planning something.
Speaker 1: Oh, you gotta plan the thing. You gotta plan the thing,
Speaker 1: get that get it, get that ship deep into your
Speaker 1: comfort zone. You gotta plan the thing. That's the key
Speaker 1: to life. You gotta the key. You gotta host the party.
Speaker 1: It's the key to life, I swear to God.
Speaker 2: So I did that and I went with a friend
Speaker 2: of mine. It was just one guy, but like we
Speaker 2: still had a really good time. It talked about life
Speaker 2: and ship with him. It was great. So that was
Speaker 2: just like one, it's funny that you mentioned that because
Speaker 2: I am on that path. I just have to start
Speaker 2: doing shit Moore. But I like that advice. Thank you, Chris.
Speaker 1: Yes, I still think you're a good dude. I like
Speaker 1: talking to you. I'm I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful for you
Speaker 1: in this crazy Yeah, don't get just just like listen, man,
Speaker 1: don't like next time, next time you start feeling all
Speaker 1: existential and crazy, just be like, I gotta, I gotta,
Speaker 1: I gotta put something on. I gotta, I gotta invite
Speaker 1: everyone to the improv show. I gotta do what I
Speaker 1: just start. You just got to do things as the
Speaker 1: only kid. That's the only answer I have to any
Speaker 1: existential bullshit is just you know, be of the universe
Speaker 1: in the best way you can.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just want to say, like I really love
Speaker 2: what you're doing with this this podcast, and like thanks.
Speaker 2: Like I said, I'm not really like a super longtime listener,
Speaker 2: but probably will be going forward because thanks. Man. It
Speaker 2: this ship is, this ship is really like hitting for me.
Speaker 2: So like I love what you're doing. You're doing a
Speaker 2: great job. So I just wanted to say that. Now.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that it's cool that more people I thought
Speaker 1: I thought that I kind of thought that this podcast
Speaker 1: was like, all right, everyone who has found it has
Speaker 1: already everyone who is going to find it has already
Speaker 1: found it. So I'm glad to hear that new people
Speaker 1: are finding it. I gotta I'm gonna start posting more
Speaker 1: Instagram clips now because of you sweat, Chris, Is there
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people of
Speaker 1: the computer before we go?
Speaker 2: Hmmm? I would just say, you know, keep your head up.
Speaker 2: Things get better, everything passes, Everything's transient, but everything. Just
Speaker 2: enjoy what you have today. Just enjoy what you have today.
Speaker 2: That's why I leave people with the computer.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Chris. You have a good rest of the night.
Speaker 1: Get blessed brother, Gat blessed brother.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 1: See Chris, I'm telling you it's just two he said
Speaker 1: two things. He said, is this really the Gecko? And
Speaker 1: then he said nice. Actually I forget the two things
Speaker 1: he said, but I could tell I could tell you
Speaker 1: good vibes.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, how you doing, Lyle?
Speaker 1: I'm doing good? Brother. What's your name?
Speaker 2: Tell yeah, my name is Finn. Dude. Holy shit, so
Speaker 2: good to be joking you.
Speaker 1: Man, Finn. What's going on with you? Good? Good, sir, Finn.
Speaker 2: Not much. I'm I'm a stuff lifesaver done here in Australia.
Speaker 2: I just had a patrol shift. So I'm sitting here
Speaker 2: with my girlfriend doing some university work. We're both self
Speaker 2: life savers and yeah, kicking back.
Speaker 1: Man, beautiful beautiful you said you're both life savers. Is
Speaker 1: that what it's called?
Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, Well, basically the guys that hang out on
Speaker 2: the beach and like makes it all on drowns or
Speaker 2: like pull people out of the water off.
Speaker 1: That it's oh wait, in Australia they call a lifeguard
Speaker 1: a lifesaver.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like surf lifesaver. So you're the you're
Speaker 2: the guys and the stuff out on the boards, like
Speaker 2: I'm in the boats and shit like that.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a lot more. Uh what's the word for it, Godly,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what to say, Like
Speaker 1: this is a difference between you like you guard because
Speaker 1: you know what, Actually, here's what I'll say, a lifesaver.
Speaker 1: It kind of implies that like something inevitable will happen,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, hey, dude, it's Australia, Like you got
Speaker 2: the shocks, the snakes, the fucking everything. That's again. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like that's the implication.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because if you're guarding a life, you're like, we
Speaker 1: are the life guards. It's like, hey, we're just making
Speaker 1: It's like we're just making sure that nothing bad happens.
Speaker 1: But if we're if you're a life saver, it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: something's going to happen, but when it does, we'll be
Speaker 1: there to save your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're ready to step in. Holy shit, man, hey, gek,
Speaker 2: what's you? I noticed Like obviously you're asking the questions
Speaker 2: a lot, it's your show, but like, what's going brings
Speaker 2: you joy? Like decides doing this sort of stuff? What
Speaker 2: what's sparks joy for you?
Speaker 1: What sparks joy for me? I don't have a good
Speaker 1: answer to that question.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: I mean the sun. I like the sun. I like working.
Speaker 2: Honestly, fair as fuck. Yeah, getting out gonna be like
Speaker 2: vitamin D. We're just going into winter down here, so
Speaker 2: you guys are gonna be going into summer pretty soon.
Speaker 2: Get from some nicer weather or park weather.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was in Australia like three years ago and
Speaker 1: there was it was winter time. But anyway, listen, fit
Speaker 1: enough with a small talk. What's up man? Would you
Speaker 1: want to talk about?
Speaker 2: I kind of want to talk about what I'm doing
Speaker 2: at the moment. I've just kind of made like a
Speaker 2: bit of a career not career shift, but for reference,
Speaker 2: I'm studying engineering at UNI, so I'm in my fourth year,
Speaker 2: so like coming to the sort of back end of
Speaker 2: the degree. In the last like two and a half years,
Speaker 2: I've been working at a startup with a friend and
Speaker 2: I have just left that to pursue my own sort
Speaker 2: of little startup situation.
Speaker 4: Please please please, please please please please please please please.
Speaker 1: Tell me it's not like a dumb, bullshit AI startup
Speaker 1: that is just a thing the chat CHPC already does.
Speaker 2: No, no, not at all, and like do trust me,
Speaker 2: because like we go through with Whilst I was working
Speaker 2: at the other startup, we're doing like a lot of
Speaker 2: pitch competitions. So it was like would be sat there
Speaker 2: with other people who were trying to get like grant
Speaker 2: money all that sort of stuff, and dude, ninety five
Speaker 2: percent of it was just like you know, this this apple,
Speaker 2: this thing that you like, what if it was AI.
Speaker 2: Believe it or not, it's so dumb AI as well.
Speaker 1: It's so dumb.
Speaker 2: It's it's very like dot com bubble, like just kind
Speaker 2: of throwing throwing it on there because it's what's popular. No,
Speaker 2: the previous startup I was working at, it was actually
Speaker 2: really really cool. They used algae to like fix up wastewater.
Speaker 2: Oh I like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's real.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, a real, real, actual, honest to god thing.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that was pretty cool. And now I'm working
Speaker 2: on one of my own things, keeping like putting a
Speaker 2: little sensors and shit in the ocean and checking on
Speaker 2: and like environmental data in the sea.
Speaker 1: Dude.
Speaker 4: Cool.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's your startup?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I mean I don't know. I'm like very
Speaker 2: very ocean coded. I love like diving, spearfishing, snorkeling, all
Speaker 2: that sort of business, So like, I don't know, I
Speaker 2: want to kind of set myself up to be working
Speaker 2: in that industry I once I graduate.
Speaker 1: Dude. Cool, No, dude, whenever I hear startup, I just
Speaker 1: immediately think, like some bullshit AI app that like the
Speaker 1: world does not even remotely need at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like up the up the global water consumption
Speaker 2: a little bit more. Talk to your AI alarm clock
Speaker 2: as you wake up. That's that's good for everyone.
Speaker 1: Really, Okay, So what do you like about the ocean?
Speaker 2: Dude? It's just so fucking good man. Like, I'm I'm
Speaker 2: obviously very biased because it's like Australia, We've got like
Speaker 2: some of the best beaches in the world, But I
Speaker 2: feel more comfortable underwater than they do out of water,
Speaker 2: you know, Like it's a it's a really like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, kind of primal, just like incredibly present feeling
Speaker 2: that I only really get when I'm like gone for
Speaker 2: a dive.
Speaker 1: Mmmm, where so you dive?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I've done like scuba. I do a
Speaker 2: lot of snorkeling. I do a lot of spearfishing with
Speaker 2: some of my friends.
Speaker 1: But yeah, cool, cool, And Australia is known for having
Speaker 1: pretty fucked up creatures. Are there a lot of fucked
Speaker 1: up creatures under the sea.
Speaker 2: There There are a lot of fucked up creatures, but
Speaker 2: they're the cool ones, man, Like the ones that are
Speaker 2: super venomous and like kind of crazier, the coolest, weirdest
Speaker 2: little ones, like like we've got do you know about
Speaker 2: the blue ring octopus?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know about the blue ring octopus. There's like
Speaker 1: that video of a lady holding it and she has
Speaker 1: no idea that it's like the most poisonous thing on
Speaker 1: the universe.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They've got like the kind of colored like those
Speaker 2: little like highlighter pens that you've got in school, and
Speaker 2: they're like tiny and look really really cute and are
Speaker 2: like fluorescent like a glow stick. So little kids will
Speaker 2: be like, oh, this is fucking sick. Let me pick
Speaker 2: this up and then just fucking straight up die. They're like,
Speaker 2: it's crazy venomous.
Speaker 1: Whoa are they common? Uh?
Speaker 2: Not like super common, but there's enough of like a
Speaker 2: spread between like another fish that just looks like a
Speaker 2: rock and is also incredibly poisonous and it just sits
Speaker 2: still and then if people step on it, it fucking
Speaker 2: stabs them and then they die. It's crazy, dude.
Speaker 1: Do you know anyone that's been killed by any Australian animals?
Speaker 2: Not killed, But I've had like friends that have I've
Speaker 2: got a mate that's got like a pretty solid at
Speaker 2: like anti venom tolerance, because growing up you just got
Speaker 2: bit by like a lot of snakes and so would
Speaker 2: just kind of is naturally immune and kind of just
Speaker 2: fucks around with snakes a running too them, like out
Speaker 2: out bush?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, how often do you go out the bush?
Speaker 2: Dude? As much as I can. I'm like, I'm twenty
Speaker 2: two of like just only had a cough of lost
Speaker 2: like yearish, but have gone on like heaps of camping
Speaker 2: trips and like full wheel drive trips. It's like, know,
Speaker 2: it makes me very very happy.
Speaker 1: Cool man cool.
Speaker 2: Also, my girlfriend is here and she also listens to
Speaker 2: the podcast. I want to say high quickly. One think
Speaker 2: I'll put you on. Hi. I'm a big fun and
Speaker 2: I was not expecting him to actually put me on.
Speaker 1: Oh hi, Well, what's going on in your life? What's
Speaker 1: happening with you?
Speaker 2: Are you? Do you? Are you? Like?
Speaker 1: Are you a pilot? I'd like to think you're a pilot,
Speaker 1: maybe because one does one covers the ocean, the other
Speaker 1: covers the sky. That could be nice.
Speaker 2: Oh that would be so poetic. Yeah, oh I should
Speaker 2: have been a pilot. No, I'm also an engineer.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, that's still real. At least you're not yeah,
Speaker 1: using AI to kill dogs or whatever they do.
Speaker 2: No plans on killing dogs yet, but i'll lend you
Speaker 2: back here. You get.
Speaker 1: What's your name against Finn?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always remembered it.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, I did remember Finn. Well, Finn, listen. It
Speaker 1: was nice having a nice little chat with you. Is
Speaker 1: there anything else that you wanted to say to the
Speaker 1: folks before we go?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, I mean I've listened to the pod
Speaker 2: quite a bit, and I always I've always thought of like,
Speaker 2: what would I say if I did manage to get
Speaker 2: on and have the little like what i'd say to
Speaker 2: the people in the computer. And there's a quote that
Speaker 2: one of my friends has misattributed to our friend group
Speaker 2: has misattributed to one of our friends Grandpas. But it's
Speaker 2: something that I really love as kind of a compass
Speaker 2: towards like how you should spend your time. And the
Speaker 2: quote is the tools should feel light in your hands,
Speaker 2: so that being like it shouldn't feel like a chore
Speaker 2: to kind of use the tools of your trade.
Speaker 1: I think that's a good way to be. I agree
Speaker 1: with that.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, man, dude, love the podcast. You're doing amazing
Speaker 2: stuff and keep it up. Come much to Australia, man,
Speaker 2: when you come back.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. Man, I I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know if we'll ever come back to Australia.
Speaker 1: We'll see, we'll see how this will see how my
Speaker 1: US We'll see If my US tour does well, then
Speaker 1: we'll we'll go back to Australia. I gotta see what
Speaker 1: we do in the US. So so tell the people
Speaker 1: to go. Tell the people to buy tickets at therapy
Speaker 1: get go tour dot com. And if we can sell
Speaker 1: in the.
Speaker 2: US, subscribe. Make sure you've got notifications enabled to thank
Speaker 2: you when your city or town is coming up. Thanks
Speaker 2: lovely chatting to you mate.
Speaker 1: Have a good night, man, take care great see if
Speaker 1: what's up, folks, it's Lyle. I am here to end
Speaker 1: the episode with. Yes, that's right, you guessed it. A
Speaker 1: piece of gek mail. Gak mail is mail that people
Speaker 1: send me to the email address therapy geckomail at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. It's a mail that people send me to
Speaker 1: the email address Therapy gecko mail at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: And uh, I read it. I read the mail, I
Speaker 1: ponder the mail. I become the mail in some ways,
Speaker 1: you could say. And so that's how I like to
Speaker 1: do the show. I like to end it by reading
Speaker 1: a piece or two of viewer mail. So let's do that,
Speaker 1: guys down, let's do that all right. This is from Celeste,
Speaker 1: subject line, I am on a new journey. Hello, Lyle.
Speaker 1: So much has happened, and in the last couple of
Speaker 1: months I thought I would share. I recently broke up
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend right before Christmas because I was at
Speaker 1: my breaking point. I've had this burst of freedom ever
Speaker 1: since then, and it's made me so optimistic about life
Speaker 1: in the world. I can do anything I want. So
Speaker 1: I decided to apply to a cruise line and I
Speaker 1: got the job. I've always wanted to work on one
Speaker 1: and follow in my mother's footsteps. I know it will
Speaker 1: be tough, but I'm excited for the connections I will
Speaker 1: make and the places I will see. I just got
Speaker 1: back from training in Salt Lake City, Mama Mia, I
Speaker 1: did not like Salt Lake City. No offense to anyone listening.
Speaker 1: I already met a bunch of new people who are
Speaker 1: super cool and keep in touch. I recently found out
Speaker 1: I will be in the New England area, mainly Baltimore
Speaker 1: and Maine, but I am super excited to start next month.
Speaker 1: I know you grew up in the Baltimore area. Do
Speaker 1: you have any cool recommendations to see around that area?
Speaker 1: Love what you do, never stop being yourself. Toodles recommendations
Speaker 1: for me Ireland. Uh, there's one place in Baltimore that
Speaker 1: I recommend everyone go to if you're in Baltimore. I
Speaker 1: want to give a shout out to this place. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite art museums in the world. Possibly my
Speaker 1: favorite art museum in the world is I just dropped
Speaker 1: a bottle cap. I just dropped them. I was fidgeting
Speaker 1: with a bottle cap and I dropped it. Okay, the
Speaker 1: my favorite art museum in the world. It's a place
Speaker 1: called the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, Maryland. Highly
Speaker 1: recommend the American Visionary Art Museum. It's this place where
Speaker 1: it's like it's art that's kind of made by like
Speaker 1: vagabonds and like, uh, I don't want to use the
Speaker 1: term vagrants, but like it's you, it's it's it's art
Speaker 1: made by people who are not like classical artists, right,
Speaker 1: Like you go into a regular art museum and like
Speaker 1: all the artists are like professional artists, I guess, and
Speaker 1: these are all just like folks who kind kind of
Speaker 1: like maybe they they had maybe they you know, started
Speaker 1: making shit when they were like eighty years old and
Speaker 1: going insane or like, you know, they died in obscurity.
Speaker 1: And this is like art that was found of theirs later.
Speaker 1: But it's kind of art that comes from conventional places
Speaker 1: and it's really like cool and modern and shit. So
Speaker 1: I recommend the American Visionary Art Museum. Go get it.
Speaker 1: Go go eat a crab. I guess I don't fucking know,
Speaker 1: Go to the go to the dinner harbor. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that Baltimore is New England, so thanks for letting
Speaker 1: me know that. Okay, let's read another email. Let's see here. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is from Kirsten subject Line, child therapist who listens
Speaker 1: to Gecko therapist. Hey Lyle, I have been on and
Speaker 1: off listener since twenty t twenty three. I recently started
Speaker 1: a weekly routine of listening to your podcast on Spotify
Speaker 1: and it has made me feel less alone in my career.
Speaker 1: As someone who talks all day, it is quite a
Speaker 1: lonely profession being a therapist. I am a school based therapist,
Speaker 1: which means I am contracted through an agency to have
Speaker 1: therapists with children, to have therapy sessions with children K
Speaker 1: through twelve during school hours. Wait, that's weird. I've never
Speaker 1: heard of that before. They just like I didn't know
Speaker 1: that they hire like free lancers to do this shit.
Speaker 1: That's weird, right, That's like not normal, isn't the fucking
Speaker 1: aren't like school therapists typically like school staff. I am
Speaker 1: not a part of the school staff exactly, so there
Speaker 1: can be a lot of miscommunication when it comes to
Speaker 1: school schedules and school politics surrounding when I can see
Speaker 1: my students and safe places I can actually hold sessions.
Speaker 1: I have been offered a janitor's closet before, and I
Speaker 1: had to advocate for an actual room. Hilarious. Typical therapists
Speaker 1: keep a case load of fifteen to thirty clients, whereas
Speaker 1: I have currently fifty three in counting. Shout out to
Speaker 1: community mental health. It can be lonely due to being
Speaker 1: an outsider in the school system, but in a way,
Speaker 1: it is also lonely because of the secondary trauma you
Speaker 1: carry that no one else can quite understand unless you
Speaker 1: are a mental health professional. There's more of the email.
Speaker 1: But yeah, interesting that you can be like a freelance.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you could be like a freelance therapist.
Speaker 1: I think that is what has drawn me to the podcast.
Speaker 1: As a therapist, you're supposed to lead people to their
Speaker 1: own conclusions, not offer them advice or tell them straight
Speaker 1: up that they are being an ass or who you
Speaker 1: think in their life is an ass. This podcast feels
Speaker 1: like an outlet for me after a hard day. I
Speaker 1: don't have the pressure of the person in front of me.
Speaker 1: You can say what you actually think without the license,
Speaker 1: and sometimes the people the problems people talk about on
Speaker 1: here feel very relatable to what I'm currently going through.
Speaker 1: It is nice to take a break think about problems
Speaker 1: that aren't completely related to children being abused or experiencing
Speaker 1: suicidal ideation. I think you're doing a great job offering advice,
Speaker 1: support and comedic relief. Thanks get K. I appreciate you, k.
Speaker 2: I.
Speaker 1: I you know what, Kay, I have to be honest.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, but I have to I truly you
Speaker 1: know it's funny. I appreciate you. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: real therapists who have told me that they listen to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Although I can't imagine being a real therapist
Speaker 1: and wanting to listen to this podcast, I really can't.
Speaker 1: I really, if you're a real therapist out there and
Speaker 1: you listen to the podcast, I want you to know
Speaker 1: I deeply appreciate you listening to the podcast, but just
Speaker 1: for a personal level, I can't imagine, like if you're
Speaker 1: like listening to folks' problems all day and then you
Speaker 1: want to come home and do it more. I guess
Speaker 1: it makes sense the way the way that you're talking
Speaker 1: about it, Kay, is it makes sense being like, oh fuck,
Speaker 1: I keep hearing all these people's problems and like, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have you like I mean, I'm just like some
Speaker 1: fucking ass so I can just like kind of say whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't have a license to do this, So I
Speaker 1: guess it makes sense if people are talking about their problems,
Speaker 1: and then it makes sense they would be cathartic to
Speaker 1: hear somebody who doesn't have to abide by any like
Speaker 1: actual medical rules give their feedback. So that make that
Speaker 1: makes sense. I appreciate you listening, Kay. I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: they made you have to do a fucking uh.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: I don't know. So I don't know. Honestly, doing a
Speaker 1: therapy session in a janitor's closet sounds like there would
Speaker 1: be something like there would be something so funny to
Speaker 1: me if I was a kid and I had to
Speaker 1: sit with a therapist in a janitor's closet and do
Speaker 1: a session like I would be amused by that that
Speaker 1: it would it would solve whatever whatever issue I had.
Speaker 1: Maybe I could fidget with a broom. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your services or I always appreciate the
Speaker 1: real thing therapists that talk to me or call into
Speaker 1: this show they're doing. They're doing actual, real ass work,
Speaker 1: so I appreciate I appreciate them. Thank you. Kay, she
Speaker 1: was doing more? What more do we have? Do we
Speaker 1: have any more? One? Sec Let me see if I
Speaker 1: can find a quick one.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 1: Okay, I've answered this question before, I'll do it again.
Speaker 1: Important clarification. This is from Eddie. Eddie says, hello, what
Speaker 1: species of gecko are you? Thanks Eddie? What species of
Speaker 1: gecko am I? I'm a therapy gecko. I think officially though,
Speaker 1: I'm a day gecko because I'm the same kind of
Speaker 1: gecko as the Guico gecko, and he's the day gecko.
Speaker 1: But I do not sell caring insurance. A lot of
Speaker 1: people ask me that, and it was funny. It wasn't
Speaker 1: actually even funny the first time. It wasn't fun of
Speaker 1: the first time. But you know, it's annoying to me.
Speaker 1: I get annoyed at myself for getting annoyed when people
Speaker 1: ask me if I sell car insurance, because because you
Speaker 1: can't dress up like a gecko and walk around and
Speaker 1: expect people to not ask you if you sell car insurance.
Speaker 1: Like he's just the guy, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like he's the fucking guy. I don't come anywhere close.
Speaker 1: I'm not even like the third or fourth most popular
Speaker 1: gecko in pop culture. He's the most popular anthropomorphic gecko
Speaker 1: in the world, not even close to anyone else. So
Speaker 1: you can't reasonably expect to be able to walk around
Speaker 1: in a gecko costume and not have people ask you
Speaker 1: if you sell car insurance. So when that happens to
Speaker 1: me and I get annoyed, I get double annoyed because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I have no business being annoyed by this
Speaker 1: thing that I signed up. I signed up to have
Speaker 1: people ask me if I sell car insurance, So I
Speaker 1: don't mind. Okay, anyway, folks, thank you very much for listening.
Speaker 1: Before we go, I want to remind everyone that I
Speaker 1: am releasing bonus episodes of this podcast over on Patreon
Speaker 1: dot com slash lyle forever. You can also find the
Speaker 1: link in the episode description that's bonus episodes. I put
Speaker 1: out two bonus episodes a month, and you can also
Speaker 1: get access to a Spotify feed. What you do is
Speaker 1: you link your Patreon with your Spotify page and you
Speaker 1: can get access to every episode of the Therapy Get
Speaker 1: Goo podcast ad free. Yes, that's right, no more ads
Speaker 1: interrupting the podcast. For just six dollars a month. You
Speaker 1: get two bonus episodes a month. And I also have
Speaker 1: up there you know, as you guys know, I went
Speaker 1: to Tijuana, I went to the gathering of the Juggalos,
Speaker 1: I went to Iraq. I'm posting my video soon from
Speaker 1: Ukraine and all of those travel videos. I have bonus,
Speaker 1: tons and tons and tons of bonus content from those
Speaker 1: travel videos also on that Patreon Patreon dot com, slash
Speaker 1: lyle forever. And if you were previously subscribed to Supercast,
Speaker 1: if you were listening to the bonus episodes on Supercast,
Speaker 1: you are entitled. You can check your email. You are
Speaker 1: entitled to a free month of Patreon. I am no
Speaker 1: longer on Supercast. I am doing all of my bonus
Speaker 1: content on Patreon right now, Patreon dot com, slash Lyle forever,
Speaker 1: And if you are a current Supercast subscriber, you get
Speaker 1: one month free and it's the same stuff that you
Speaker 1: were getting on the Supercast, except now there's more because
Speaker 1: it's basically a combination of the bone bonus episodes and
Speaker 1: the ad free stuff and the bonus documentary stuff. Here
Speaker 1: we have, we are are We just released a bonus
Speaker 1: episode today this morning. Here's a little preview of today's
Speaker 1: bonus episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, me and my boyfriend whose name is
Speaker 2: also Owen.
Speaker 1: Wait you're dating a dude who's also named Owen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so funny. That's a very uh call me by
Speaker 1: your name relationship you got going on there.
Speaker 2: So your little tam I I won't get too TM.
Speaker 2: I'm your this your gag man, that's what this is.
Speaker 2: That's that's you know, go ahead, man, the question has
Speaker 2: been posed before, you know. Is it weird calling out
Speaker 2: your own name during sex? Mm? Hmm?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: And I it?
Speaker 1: Dean?
Speaker 2: Hey are you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm doing good man? How are you? What'd you want
Speaker 1: to talk about today?
Speaker 2: Nothing much. I'm actually currently on vacation with my ex.
Speaker 1: Right now, you're on vacation with your ex. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and why is she your X.
Speaker 3: It was just a lot of arguing all the time.
Speaker 3: I wasn't I'm not going to say I was the best.
Speaker 3: But we planned this vacation a while ago and we
Speaker 3: were debating on still coming or not. But we thought
Speaker 3: it would be a good idea.
Speaker 2: To come on this trip and just kind of like
Speaker 2: have a one last like little like trying to hang out, you.
Speaker 1: Know, to hear that full call and a whole brand
Speaker 1: new hour of fresh podcast, a fresh podcast that's not
Speaker 1: available on the public feed. Please go to patreon dot
Speaker 1: com slash Lyle forever to become a member. Today. This
Speaker 1: has been the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thank you all for listening.
Speaker 1: I am Lyle ghak bless you all for billions of
Speaker 1: years and then billions of years after that, and uh
Speaker 1: that's it. Thank you guys. Have a good one bye
Speaker 1: bye see you next episode, ghak bless see you guys.
Speaker 1: Around the universe goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 1: calls every night. Deacon goes to ride. He's teaching you
Speaker 1: aloud in the mind of your life.
Speaker 2: Money's not really an expert