WEBVTT - “LARPING AND DIVORCE”

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, folks, I just wanted to make a quick announcement

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<v Speaker 1>before we get into the podcast that I have started

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<v Speaker 1>Legend today. Okay, thank you guys for letting me do that.

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<v Speaker 1>And now let's get into Oh my voice cracked?

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<v Speaker 2>Fuck?

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<v Speaker 1>All right before I die, Let's get into the episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hey, is this the therapy? Get go?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, sir? Who is this?

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<v Speaker 2>Wow? I'm surprised to get on.

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<v Speaker 1>My name's Chris, Chris honestly, Chris, I don't like you

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<v Speaker 1>might think I'm fucking with you, and but I dude,

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<v Speaker 1>you might think I'm fucking with you, But I really

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<v Speaker 1>believe what I'm about to say. You only said like

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<v Speaker 1>two you only said two things to me, but I

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<v Speaker 1>already like your vibe. I'm not like saying this, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>this isn't a this isn't like a bit, just something

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<v Speaker 1>about it. I'm actually I'm actually having a bit of

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<v Speaker 1>a crisis in this very moment right now because I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not I'm not even doing a bit right now. I'm judging.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm realizing because of the fact that I can tell

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<v Speaker 1>that I like your vibe after you basically saying nothing

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<v Speaker 1>just like too like sentences, I can now tell how

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<v Speaker 1>much of like me people are judging based on like

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<v Speaker 1>the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm fully realizing how important that like first micro impression is,

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<v Speaker 1>Like how much information is in that little thing, because

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<v Speaker 1>I got so much information about you from you just

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<v Speaker 1>saying is this the therapy? Get go? Oh man, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't think I would get on and it was crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of people say, and a lot of people

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<v Speaker 1>say that you're not the first person to say, oh man,

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<v Speaker 1>is this a therapy? Even the way even like you're

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<v Speaker 1>not the first person to say, is this a therapy? Gecko?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh man, I can't believe I got on, But other

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<v Speaker 1>people I've said that I didn't even clock it. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>I swear on my life, I swear my children's I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I be dead serious right now. Something about the way

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<v Speaker 1>that you said those two things. I'm getting good vibes

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<v Speaker 1>from you, and and I even a woo woo way.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even know what it is. I'm gonna let you.

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<v Speaker 2>Talk, yo. Yeah, well cool, cool. I'm glad that you

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<v Speaker 2>get good vibes from me. I hope that continues throughout

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<v Speaker 2>this call. Uh yeah, I don't even really know what

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<v Speaker 2>to say, dude. Like, I've been listening to you for

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<v Speaker 2>not very long. Honestly, I've been listening to you for

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<v Speaker 2>about like a month or so. But I've just been

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<v Speaker 2>consuming your content like so much over the past months.

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<v Speaker 2>Just it's like everyone else says, it's like it's really

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<v Speaker 2>gotten me through like some really fucking tough times lately.

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<v Speaker 2>So dude, thank you for putting out good shit.

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<v Speaker 1>I have two questions First of all, did I sound insane?

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<v Speaker 2>Just now? Uh? No, you didn't sound insane. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think he sounded insane. I mean I feel like a

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<v Speaker 2>little imposter syndrome because like, I don't feel like I

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<v Speaker 2>give a ton of good vibe. But that I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like you you kind of I took it

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<v Speaker 2>as a huge compliment. I'll say that you didn't sound insane,

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<v Speaker 2>and I totally get what you mean by by like

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<v Speaker 2>being able to read people as soon as you kind

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<v Speaker 2>of you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Okay. My second question, I'm curious, how did you

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<v Speaker 1>find out about the podcast?

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<v Speaker 2>I saw? I saw a clip on I think it

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<v Speaker 2>was like Instagram or something cool, and I just I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, I really related to you a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Cool cool cool. What's your name?

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<v Speaker 2>My name's Chris, Chris, Chris.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh, dude, what's up with you? Man? What did you

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<v Speaker 1>want to talk about today? If anything?

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<v Speaker 2>Dude, there's so much going on in my life right now,

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<v Speaker 2>please please? Uh shit, Well, yeah, this is gonna be live.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's see.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's start with Let's start with the first thing that

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<v Speaker 1>comes to your head, and I believe it will naturally

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<v Speaker 1>guide us towards all of the things that you want

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<v Speaker 1>to talk about. But let's just start with the first

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<v Speaker 1>thing that comes to your head.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So my wife and I are getting a divorce,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's uh, that's been kind of like the heaviest

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<v Speaker 2>thing that's been on my mind lately.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. How long has that process been

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<v Speaker 1>going on for?

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<v Speaker 2>It's probably I mean we got separated about, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>month and a half ago or something of that. M hm.

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<v Speaker 2>So right now I'm in the process of like finding

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<v Speaker 2>an apartment and we're going to sell the house and

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<v Speaker 2>things like that.

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<v Speaker 1>M So you guys already lived together.

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<v Speaker 2>We did, Yes, we did live together for uh, I

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<v Speaker 2>guess like six no, five years?

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<v Speaker 1>Five years?

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<v Speaker 2>Now? It was it was like, hold on, so math,

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<v Speaker 2>it's been a long time. Let's just say like seven years. Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>How many kids do you guys have any kids?

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<v Speaker 2>No, we don't have any kids. We do have cats, though.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys got cats? Yeah? How long are you guys together?

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<v Speaker 1>In total?

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<v Speaker 2>For? Nine years?

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<v Speaker 1>Nine years? Okay? How old are you?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm thirty five?

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<v Speaker 1>How old is she?

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<v Speaker 2>Thirty eight?

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<v Speaker 1>So so listen, I mean, listen, Chris, Chris. I from

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<v Speaker 1>the second you said, is this a therapy? Geo. I

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<v Speaker 1>never thought I would go on. I was like, I

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<v Speaker 1>could talk to this guy for three hours. So if

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<v Speaker 1>you if you want to, I don't know. If you

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<v Speaker 1>want to, I'm I'm here, I'm down if you want

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<v Speaker 1>to talk. If you want to talk about it.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I've talked to so many people about it already.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't really want to talk a ton about it.

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<v Speaker 2>We might get into it later if that's school. But okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about something else.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, can I mmm, yeah, well I can? I ask

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<v Speaker 1>you this? Sure, And just because I'm curious what was

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<v Speaker 1>like the catalyst of it, because I'm only I'm asking,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess not well, I mean, I'm nosy in all aspects.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess that's why I do this show. But I'm

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<v Speaker 1>also just like I'm curious what it is after five

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<v Speaker 1>years of living together because it seems s I feel like,

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<v Speaker 1>just like in my head right when I'm thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>relationships and stuff, I'm thinking that, like certain, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>all relationships have kind of kinks and whatnot that reveal

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<v Speaker 1>themselves over time, and nowther get worked out or don't,

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<v Speaker 1>and it just seems like after five years, it's like,

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<v Speaker 1>what else is there left to discover or work out,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. So I'm just I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>curious from that perspective, like what, sure, what the catalyst was.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm I'm generally more like like the avoidant type.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess she would call it and say, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>she's more like the anxious you know, like let's figure

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<v Speaker 2>the shit out right now sort of thing. So we're

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<v Speaker 2>trying to We tried to like work through that, and

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I tried to listen to her, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I tried to sit down, you know, I tried to

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<v Speaker 2>change my ways and shit, and uh, you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like I really tried hard to you know, to

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<v Speaker 2>listen to her, be there with her, be there with

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<v Speaker 2>her through her emotions and stuff. We tried going to

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<v Speaker 2>marriage counseling for about a year, and you know, at

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<v Speaker 2>the end of the day, it was just it didn't

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<v Speaker 2>it didn't really work out. I mean, I know that's

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<v Speaker 2>very vague, sorry, but like it was not It was

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<v Speaker 2>not like a super like big catalyst that was like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh you know, this is we're okay, you know what.

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<v Speaker 2>There was kind of a catalyst. I'll say that, Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So I used to drink a lot like heavily, like alcoholically,

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<v Speaker 2>and that was like eighteen months ago. Well no, wait,

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<v Speaker 2>that was like, I don't know, twenty months ago or

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<v Speaker 2>something like that at this point. But so we used

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<v Speaker 2>to drink a lot together, a lot, and that's pretty

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<v Speaker 2>much like all I did was sit at home and drink.

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<v Speaker 2>But I had recently started going to to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>AA meetings and things like that, and I spent a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of time in those rooms. And I dedicated a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of time too, you know, recovery, and and I

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<v Speaker 2>don't think she really appreciated it, you know, she would say,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, it's she would at first, she really like

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<v Speaker 2>was very vocal about like, hey, you're spending way too

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<v Speaker 2>much time away. But like over time she kind of

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<v Speaker 2>told me like, hey, you know, I get it, you're

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<v Speaker 2>in recovery. It's fine. But I think that she never

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<v Speaker 2>kind of got over that. She got to a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of the times she would tell me like, god, it

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<v Speaker 2>you're not. In a roundabout way, she would say, like, God,

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<v Speaker 2>I wish you would just go back to drinking. You

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<v Speaker 2>were so much cooler than you were able to talk

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<v Speaker 2>to me about things then. But man, like, whenever I

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<v Speaker 2>was drinking, I was just I was miserable, dude, like

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<v Speaker 2>I hated hated living. I mean I didn't show it right,

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<v Speaker 2>like I didn't on the outside like a normal human being,

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<v Speaker 2>but like internally I was fucking dying. Like so I

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<v Speaker 2>had to do something different.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah whoa wow? She really so in a roundabout way,

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<v Speaker 1>she told you she missed when you were drinking heavily.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, crazy, Like what do you mean by

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<v Speaker 1>in a roundabout way? Like, like what did she say?

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<v Speaker 2>She would say things like, you know, whenever we used

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<v Speaker 2>to drink together, or whenever you used to drink with me,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you would be much more vulnerable. You would

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<v Speaker 2>be able to talk to me about things more you weren't.

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<v Speaker 2>You didn't shut down, you didn't have this wall up.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know, I tried to, like and honestly like

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<v Speaker 2>I whenever we did get in the conflicts I would have,

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<v Speaker 2>I would get I would start shutting down, but I

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<v Speaker 2>would try to notice that I know that I do that.

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<v Speaker 2>So I tried to tried to not do that and

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<v Speaker 2>try to open up and connect with her, but it

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<v Speaker 2>was never quite enough for her to be like, oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>he's he's trying to do the thing. He's trying to

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<v Speaker 2>work through that ship, like she just I think she

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<v Speaker 2>lost her patience and eventually she was just like, all right,

0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.319
<v Speaker 2>he's not he's not he's not in a change, he's

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.920
<v Speaker 2>not he's not gonna do what I want him to do.

0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:35.360
<v Speaker 1>That's wild, man, man.

0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:36.559
<v Speaker 2>I mean I don't want to see her as a

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.040
<v Speaker 2>villain or anything, because you know, I have my I

0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:40.360
<v Speaker 2>have my shit too, you know.

0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:45.120
<v Speaker 1>So okay, so she was so you're okay, So like

0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:48.559
<v Speaker 1>you're an avoidant and she's anxious. So does that mean

0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:51.079
<v Speaker 1>like like was she too emotional for you? And that

0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:52.559
<v Speaker 1>just like you just couldn't handle it.

0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:59.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean, now she definitely got emotional, like you know

0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:06.560
<v Speaker 2>she would and I would I would be, you know,

0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.880
<v Speaker 2>kind of stony, like I don't really I didn't really

0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:12.520
<v Speaker 2>know how to.

0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, I.

0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:19.120
<v Speaker 2>Mean I would try to be there for as much

0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 2>as I could, but I just really didn't know how

0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.200
<v Speaker 2>to how to handle it. Like I would be there

0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:26.240
<v Speaker 2>and be like, hey, you know, is there anything I

0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:29.160
<v Speaker 2>can do for you? Like what what can I do

0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.040
<v Speaker 2>for you? Like I would look to her to try

0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:35.200
<v Speaker 2>to help fix her, and that would be yeah, yeah,

0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:36.480
<v Speaker 2>like what what do you need me to do I'll

0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:38.040
<v Speaker 2>do anything like and that would.

0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:43.560
<v Speaker 1>That was yeah, yeah, like I see what you mean. No,

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:45.080
<v Speaker 1>that's a big difference. That was an interesting way you

0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:46.880
<v Speaker 1>phrased it. I would look to her on how to

0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:51.480
<v Speaker 1>help her as opposed to like having my own plan

0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:55.880
<v Speaker 1>or thought about. Yeah, And I don't actually I don't

0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:57.960
<v Speaker 1>think that that's some people just aren't like built for

0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 1>just aren't good with like crying or with like dealing with, like,

0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:08.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, very emotional people. I feel like it's a

0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:12.160
<v Speaker 1>it's like a personality thing. I don't know if it's

0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.720
<v Speaker 1>necessarily like a defect, like some people just don't have it.

0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Why do you think like it took five years for

0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:23.720
<v Speaker 1>this to like unravel, Like what what was going on

0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:25.720
<v Speaker 1>in year five that wasn't there in year one.

0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.760
<v Speaker 2>I feel like just over time we we had more

0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:38.560
<v Speaker 2>and more responsibilities, Like when we first got together. When

0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.040
<v Speaker 2>we first got together, we were just living in an

0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:42.320
<v Speaker 2>apartment together. We were both going to a normal job,

0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:50.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, And I can't quite like I said, I

0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:53.120
<v Speaker 2>can't quite tend down one thing. I think it was

0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:59.520
<v Speaker 2>just like a culmination of like, uh, like responsibilities around

0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:05.080
<v Speaker 2>home ownership, the future, like finances. It was a lot

0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:11.600
<v Speaker 2>of it was a lot of like external things, and

0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:14.360
<v Speaker 2>maybe I didn't put a lot of focus or as

0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:18.280
<v Speaker 2>much focus as I should have on the relationship. That

0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:21.520
<v Speaker 2>being said, I mean, I'm I'm gonna get defensive here

0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.400
<v Speaker 2>a little bit, but like I know that I put

0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:27.280
<v Speaker 2>in a shit tone of work into the relationship, and

0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:31.560
<v Speaker 2>I really wish that I could have like been enough

0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:34.040
<v Speaker 2>in a way. I really wish that it could have

0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.960
<v Speaker 2>been enough, because I mean, we had a marvelous life.

0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:39.680
<v Speaker 2>We had a marvelous life together, Like we have a house,

0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 2>we have cats, we have farm animals and a business

0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.000
<v Speaker 2>together and like so much, and it was just like

0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:47.560
<v Speaker 2>everything's being unraveled now.

0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Hmm hm. So you said you focus too much on

0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:58.160
<v Speaker 1>external things, like you were worried about money and worried

0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:01.400
<v Speaker 1>about finances and worried about home, like more responsibilities kept

0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:03.280
<v Speaker 1>piling up that you couldn't really like focus on the

0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:07.600
<v Speaker 1>relationship itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:07.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:12.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, m was there like one person who kind of

0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:14.520
<v Speaker 1>broke it off or did it just kind of like

0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:16.359
<v Speaker 1>mutually not work?

0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh well, she she you know, she she broke it off.

0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:23.359
<v Speaker 2>She broke it off.

0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, did you want to stay.

0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:34.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like I imagine living the rest of my life

0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.400
<v Speaker 2>with her. Mm hmmm mm hmmm. I like what you've done.

0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:39.720
<v Speaker 2>By the way, Like I said, I didn't want to

0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:41.720
<v Speaker 2>talk about it, We've been talking about it for a

0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:42.360
<v Speaker 2>while now.

0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:45.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, sorry.

0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:49.160
<v Speaker 2>No, it's fine. It's totally fine. That's why I'm here.

0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:55.000
<v Speaker 1>You know, Well, how long how long ago was this?

0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:56.879
<v Speaker 1>Like have you guys been in contact or is it

0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 1>like a complete like no contact now?

0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:05.399
<v Speaker 2>It's kind of just like logistical things. She's you know,

0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.320
<v Speaker 2>she's gotten a lawyer. I don't have a lawyer.

0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:09.399
<v Speaker 1>She's a lawyer.

0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:12.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, divorce lawyer.

0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:15.680
<v Speaker 1>So, uh did you do a pre nub.

0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:18.600
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.320
<v Speaker 1>So what's what's she's suing you for?

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:28.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's divorce. The worst lawyer thing she she I

0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:32.080
<v Speaker 2>think she did it too, like make things simpler as

0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:35.200
<v Speaker 2>far as splitting stuff. Mm hmm.

0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:40.360
<v Speaker 1>Hmm, man.

0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:42.359
<v Speaker 2>Hmmm.

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:49.560
<v Speaker 1>So this has been I suck. I'm sorry, I lose

0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:51.080
<v Speaker 1>track of my own brain. How this has been? How

0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:54.520
<v Speaker 1>long since you guys have not been together?

0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:59.639
<v Speaker 2>Uh? She separated, she took all her stuff on the

0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:01.840
<v Speaker 2>mountain to today. Mm hmmm.

0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:04.040
<v Speaker 1>So so kind of fresh.

0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:06.879
<v Speaker 2>It's been like a month and a half.

0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:09.240
<v Speaker 1>Yep, bro, what's that? What's the month and a half been? Like?

0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:10.040
<v Speaker 1>What's been going on?

0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:11.360
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:17.160
<v Speaker 2>Man, it's it's been very raw. It's been like, oh shit,

0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:20.080
<v Speaker 2>like I'm living alone. I need to figure out what

0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:24.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna dolunk forward. M hmm, you know, like a

0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:28.360
<v Speaker 2>lot of ambiguity. Like it's it's been a very emotional

0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:34.520
<v Speaker 2>month and a half. I half the time, I'm just

0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:36.719
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I

0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:42.560
<v Speaker 2>get like these existential crisis is a lot like fuck,

0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:46.440
<v Speaker 2>what am I going to do? Life is is fleeting,

0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:47.720
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know.

0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:52.000
<v Speaker 1>No, I give what you mean, I give what you mean. Yeah,

0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:58.600
<v Speaker 1>life does feel a little a little fleeting. I mean,

0:20:00.560 --> 0:20:01.960
<v Speaker 1>what were you doing before.

0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:05.840
<v Speaker 2>Before? Yeah?

0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:08.119
<v Speaker 1>I mean you got, you got, You've been dere together

0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:11.960
<v Speaker 1>for well, you've been here for nine years. So yeah,

0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:15.320
<v Speaker 1>well I guess ship Yeah when you were what twenty five.

0:20:17.680 --> 0:20:23.760
<v Speaker 2>Uh something like that, twenty six? But yeah, so how

0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:28.080
<v Speaker 2>do I say? Right? So a lot, but like we

0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.960
<v Speaker 2>we moved around a lot. We we lived in another

0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:34.000
<v Speaker 2>state at one point. Uh, Like I worked through regular jobs.

0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:37.280
<v Speaker 2>You worked a regular job, and then we moved back

0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:41.160
<v Speaker 2>to my home state, and uh we had a business,

0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:48.080
<v Speaker 2>ran the business for about here. We ran the business

0:20:48.080 --> 0:20:53.160
<v Speaker 2>for like four years or something like that. Together, things

0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:56.840
<v Speaker 2>were pretty chill, like I said, like first time at

0:20:56.840 --> 0:20:59.680
<v Speaker 2>home owners, so we were just kind of figuring things

0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:04.800
<v Speaker 2>out as it came. I like I said, I was

0:21:04.960 --> 0:21:08.679
<v Speaker 2>drinking heavily when we first got here. Recently got in

0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:13.400
<v Speaker 2>the recovery, so it's like it's been a it's been

0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:16.800
<v Speaker 2>like a with a learning process for me to like

0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:19.440
<v Speaker 2>figure out my own ship too, because like I was

0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:22.480
<v Speaker 2>numbing it out for so long and I'm like, oh,

0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:23.960
<v Speaker 2>this is who I am?

0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:30.040
<v Speaker 1>You know, yeah, did you know? Did you well? What

0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:32.240
<v Speaker 1>did you what? I'm sorry, you know that that's what.

0:21:35.400 --> 0:21:40.880
<v Speaker 2>I know. That That's like how do I say? I mean,

0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:43.199
<v Speaker 2>it's not giving you a very clear picture of what

0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:45.240
<v Speaker 2>happened before, right, No?

0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:46.960
<v Speaker 1>No, no, Well I was gonna ask. Okay, so you

0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:50.200
<v Speaker 1>were numbing yourself out and then when the numbing went away,

0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:51.520
<v Speaker 1>who were you?

0:21:51.720 --> 0:21:52.240
<v Speaker 3>What did you?

0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:54.040
<v Speaker 1>What did you What did you find? What did you discover?

0:21:55.359 --> 0:22:02.080
<v Speaker 2>Mmmmm, good question. Well, I mean I was, I was

0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:10.280
<v Speaker 2>uh like pretty broken inside, like I feel like I

0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:13.879
<v Speaker 2>just know I'm just shot away, like throughout my entire entire,

0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:19.400
<v Speaker 2>like entire life. I'd used video games or nicotine weed

0:22:19.680 --> 0:22:23.199
<v Speaker 2>whatever to kind of shut that ship out, you know.

0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 2>So now it's like, oh, now I'm I'm this guy

0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:33.600
<v Speaker 2>who who kind of just lives and uh like I

0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:37.199
<v Speaker 2>don't know who who after that?

0:22:39.359 --> 0:22:42.080
<v Speaker 1>You're this guy who kind of just lives?

0:22:43.680 --> 0:22:44.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:46.080
<v Speaker 1>Bro? Who?

0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:49.320
<v Speaker 2>Uh uh?

0:22:49.600 --> 0:22:53.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay, hold on, so no, we're gonna we're gonna do this.

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:54.840
<v Speaker 1>What are you sober?

0:22:54.880 --> 0:22:56.520
<v Speaker 2>Now? Yeah?

0:22:57.240 --> 0:22:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, how long you've been sober?

0:22:59.760 --> 0:23:04.080
<v Speaker 2>Uh? Let's see, I've been sober for one year, eight

0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:05.560
<v Speaker 2>months and seventeen days.

0:23:05.960 --> 0:23:08.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's that's great. That's I literally I could have

0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:10.439
<v Speaker 1>swore you just started. Okay cool?

0:23:11.119 --> 0:23:12.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, no, no.

0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh congrats man, that rocks.

0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:17.640
<v Speaker 2>Hell yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you for really for.

0:23:17.600 --> 0:23:18.960
<v Speaker 1>Real, for real, for real, for real.

0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:21.400
<v Speaker 2>Hmm.

0:23:22.400 --> 0:23:29.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So, as of today, March twenty eighth, two thousand,

0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:32.760
<v Speaker 1>who cares if you feel? Do you feel like you

0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:35.199
<v Speaker 1>are just a guy who exists.

0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:40.600
<v Speaker 2>Some days? Most days? I mean I still do, you know,

0:23:40.640 --> 0:23:43.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel like I really have a purpose, if

0:23:43.480 --> 0:23:47.440
<v Speaker 2>that makes sense, Like I just kind of do the

0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:51.480
<v Speaker 2>next thing like in front of me, Like I still

0:23:51.480 --> 0:23:55.480
<v Speaker 2>have hobbies and things like that, like, yeah, I love

0:23:55.520 --> 0:23:59.080
<v Speaker 2>my hobbies, and maybe that was I'll kind of get

0:23:59.080 --> 0:24:02.480
<v Speaker 2>into this, like she didn't like that I spent time

0:24:04.080 --> 0:24:10.359
<v Speaker 2>outside of the relationship with my hobbies. So you know,

0:24:10.520 --> 0:24:13.199
<v Speaker 2>whenever I got sober, I was like, oh shit, you know,

0:24:13.240 --> 0:24:16.680
<v Speaker 2>I want to do something that's active. I want to

0:24:16.720 --> 0:24:20.560
<v Speaker 2>get out of the house. Uh. And she didn't like

0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:27.639
<v Speaker 2>that either, spending more because before, well not always like

0:24:27.960 --> 0:24:31.200
<v Speaker 2>I spent. So there's there's this hobby that I do.

0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:33.520
<v Speaker 2>It's like two times a week, it's Wednesday and Saturdays.

0:24:34.560 --> 0:24:36.520
<v Speaker 2>And I would go to it pretty religiously because I

0:24:36.560 --> 0:24:39.520
<v Speaker 2>fucking loved it. But she did. She would like throw

0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:43.280
<v Speaker 2>that in my face whenever whenever like, oh, you're not

0:24:43.320 --> 0:24:45.359
<v Speaker 2>spending you're not spending quality time with me, You're not

0:24:46.080 --> 0:24:48.040
<v Speaker 2>you're not doing whatever. But I would. I would make

0:24:48.080 --> 0:24:51.280
<v Speaker 2>a conscious effort to take her out on dates, like, Okay,

0:24:51.440 --> 0:24:53.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna take you out on a date Friday. Every Friday,

0:24:53.920 --> 0:24:55.480
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna grow out on a date, like I'm gonna

0:24:55.480 --> 0:24:58.760
<v Speaker 2>get you flowers, I'm gonna we're gonna go to a

0:24:58.800 --> 0:25:03.800
<v Speaker 2>marriage counseling, Like we're gonna spend some quality time sitting

0:25:03.840 --> 0:25:06.119
<v Speaker 2>down with each other, talking to each other, trying to

0:25:06.160 --> 0:25:11.399
<v Speaker 2>figure out each other's feelings about whatever. But I just

0:25:11.600 --> 0:25:15.240
<v Speaker 2>don't think that she was. I don't know. She told

0:25:15.280 --> 0:25:17.960
<v Speaker 2>me at one point that it's like an energy thing,

0:25:18.600 --> 0:25:22.000
<v Speaker 2>like she didn't feel like I was totally in it,

0:25:23.359 --> 0:25:25.960
<v Speaker 2>whereas like I'm sitting over here pouring my guts out,

0:25:26.280 --> 0:25:29.639
<v Speaker 2>like what the what the fuck? I'm totally in this shit.

0:25:30.400 --> 0:25:31.120
<v Speaker 2>It was confusing.

0:25:32.080 --> 0:25:40.159
<v Speaker 1>Hmm okay, hm hm. And so in the past five

0:25:40.480 --> 0:25:44.200
<v Speaker 1>years you've been living together, you said that you where

0:25:44.240 --> 0:25:45.919
<v Speaker 1>do you live? I'm just curious.

0:25:47.320 --> 0:25:50.359
<v Speaker 2>United States. I'll tell you the state of South Carolina, he.

0:25:50.400 --> 0:26:01.119
<v Speaker 1>Said, in South Carolina. Okay, so the entire are five years.

0:26:01.880 --> 0:26:05.080
<v Speaker 1>Did you have any purpose outside of the relationship, Like

0:26:05.160 --> 0:26:07.400
<v Speaker 1>why do you feel so purposeless right now?

0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:15.359
<v Speaker 2>Dude? Like, yeah, the relationship, so you know worth there

0:26:15.440 --> 0:26:22.200
<v Speaker 2>we talk about like super codependent. You know, I did

0:26:22.280 --> 0:26:26.399
<v Speaker 2>put my purpose into the relationship, as like that was

0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:28.680
<v Speaker 2>my purpose, like to try to make her happy, to

0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:31.480
<v Speaker 2>do everything in my power to make this woman happy.

0:26:33.960 --> 0:26:42.800
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, I understand that being a driving purpose. And look,

0:26:43.000 --> 0:26:46.760
<v Speaker 1>it's not the worst purpose in the world to have,

0:26:47.840 --> 0:26:52.600
<v Speaker 1>but it's definitely a purpose you want to have among

0:26:53.600 --> 0:26:58.159
<v Speaker 1>other things, sure, you know, did you feel like you

0:26:58.320 --> 0:27:01.399
<v Speaker 1>had any purpose outside of that, any purpose about like

0:27:01.560 --> 0:27:02.919
<v Speaker 1>just like, oh, I want to make this woman as

0:27:02.960 --> 0:27:03.760
<v Speaker 1>happy as possible.

0:27:05.080 --> 0:27:14.360
<v Speaker 2>Mmm. I mean I wanted to make enough money to survive.

0:27:14.960 --> 0:27:20.960
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to, you know, contribute to my community in

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:24.160
<v Speaker 2>some ways, like I didn't not other than that though,

0:27:24.280 --> 0:27:26.680
<v Speaker 2>that was my driving one. Like, Okay, I did have

0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:29.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, I had a little bit of a goal

0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:35.320
<v Speaker 2>to to like work on myself too, in order to

0:27:35.400 --> 0:27:36.520
<v Speaker 2>be a better person for her.

0:27:39.520 --> 0:27:42.120
<v Speaker 1>M h Why did you love this woman so much?

0:27:43.960 --> 0:27:48.600
<v Speaker 2>Hmm, that's a good question. I mean her and I

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:55.359
<v Speaker 2>just just kind of really kicked it off. She she

0:27:55.520 --> 0:27:58.920
<v Speaker 2>was a really she is a really wonderful person when

0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:05.600
<v Speaker 2>she's not angry. Uh, she's she's she's very sweet. We

0:28:05.680 --> 0:28:09.720
<v Speaker 2>have a lot of inside jokes. She loves her animals,

0:28:10.080 --> 0:28:18.440
<v Speaker 2>she's attractive, she's it's wanted to be around. Yep. I

0:28:18.560 --> 0:28:23.280
<v Speaker 2>wanted to build a life where they're like, I don't know, Yeah,

0:28:23.400 --> 0:28:25.560
<v Speaker 2>I hope hopefully the vibe is still good. I don't

0:28:25.560 --> 0:28:27.359
<v Speaker 2>want to I don't want it to you.

0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:31.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I take back nothing I said at the beginning

0:28:31.720 --> 0:28:34.560
<v Speaker 1>of this call, Chris, I take back nothing I said

0:28:35.480 --> 0:28:37.560
<v Speaker 1>at the beginning of this call. Don't you even think

0:28:37.680 --> 0:28:42.560
<v Speaker 1>for a second that I do M No, I'm I'm

0:28:42.640 --> 0:28:51.840
<v Speaker 1>in uh, I'm in ponderance over your life. Hm hm hmm. Okay,

0:28:52.040 --> 0:28:55.400
<v Speaker 1>So now you're like, what the fuck do I do?

0:28:56.800 --> 0:28:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Yep?

0:28:57.840 --> 0:28:58.120
<v Speaker 3>How do you?

0:28:58.800 --> 0:29:00.360
<v Speaker 1>How do you make money? Right now? How do you

0:29:00.440 --> 0:29:00.880
<v Speaker 1>make money?

0:29:02.680 --> 0:29:08.560
<v Speaker 2>So? I have three jobs right now. I I don't

0:29:08.560 --> 0:29:11.800
<v Speaker 2>want it to say too much, but like I work,

0:29:13.120 --> 0:29:19.840
<v Speaker 2>I work for Mlissy, I have. I still have that

0:29:20.000 --> 0:29:23.640
<v Speaker 2>business I have. I'm working for a startup and I

0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:25.120
<v Speaker 2>work for the government.

0:29:26.520 --> 0:29:28.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh shit, you really do have three jobs?

0:29:29.120 --> 0:29:29.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:29:29.800 --> 0:29:31.120
<v Speaker 1>How do you have time to do anything?

0:29:32.640 --> 0:29:35.520
<v Speaker 2>I just that's all I do is work basically and

0:29:35.640 --> 0:29:40.760
<v Speaker 2>listen to you. But I still I still make time

0:29:40.800 --> 0:29:44.280
<v Speaker 2>for hobbies. Like my week's pretty full. I'll say that.

0:29:45.000 --> 0:29:49.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, what do you do? You do you have any friends?

0:29:50.640 --> 0:29:54.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Yeah, I have? I have a very Like my

0:29:54.400 --> 0:29:58.560
<v Speaker 2>friends are my family, Like I don't, I don't connect them. Yeah,

0:29:58.800 --> 0:30:02.480
<v Speaker 2>like the that group, that hobby group, what that hobby

0:30:02.560 --> 0:30:06.040
<v Speaker 2>that I do. It's like it's that those people are

0:30:07.320 --> 0:30:10.760
<v Speaker 2>are my family. And you know, people in recovery are

0:30:10.760 --> 0:30:13.680
<v Speaker 2>also my family. So it's super nice to have those

0:30:13.680 --> 0:30:15.320
<v Speaker 2>people around. I don't know how what I would do

0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:15.880
<v Speaker 2>without them.

0:30:16.440 --> 0:30:18.320
<v Speaker 1>So you've been with this woman for nine years, right,

0:30:18.440 --> 0:30:20.520
<v Speaker 1>and then if throughout those nine years, have any of

0:30:20.640 --> 0:30:25.959
<v Speaker 1>your friends like been in contact, like like have your

0:30:26.040 --> 0:30:27.280
<v Speaker 1>do your friends know this lady?

0:30:28.520 --> 0:30:31.640
<v Speaker 2>So before before I got like sober, I didn't have

0:30:31.920 --> 0:30:33.480
<v Speaker 2>only had one friend, and that was the friend that

0:30:33.480 --> 0:30:37.280
<v Speaker 2>I had from middle school, which was oh yeah, so

0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:38.360
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have any.

0:30:38.760 --> 0:30:40.360
<v Speaker 1>You didn't have any friends before you got sober?

0:30:41.840 --> 0:30:46.600
<v Speaker 2>No? No, oh okay, she was my primary social circle.

0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:50.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, damn. So she was your

0:30:50.320 --> 0:30:53.560
<v Speaker 1>primary social circle from the ages of twenty from essentially

0:30:53.600 --> 0:30:57.680
<v Speaker 1>the ages of like twenty four to thirty four or

0:30:58.200 --> 0:30:59.960
<v Speaker 1>or something like that. So the my map is like,

0:31:00.600 --> 0:31:02.600
<v Speaker 1>but like about a decade, let's call it about a

0:31:02.680 --> 0:31:06.360
<v Speaker 1>decade she was your primary social circle, right right? Yeah

0:31:06.640 --> 0:31:09.080
<v Speaker 1>that's tough. Yeah yeah yeah.

0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:12.920
<v Speaker 2>But now I'm like in really developing those those bonds again,

0:31:12.960 --> 0:31:15.240
<v Speaker 2>which again, well I don't know if I ever really

0:31:15.320 --> 0:31:18.680
<v Speaker 2>had them, but like, it's it's nice to to go

0:31:18.840 --> 0:31:21.800
<v Speaker 2>out and like be with people, just be around people,

0:31:21.840 --> 0:31:24.440
<v Speaker 2>even if I don't really think they I'll connect with them.

0:31:25.160 --> 0:31:27.680
<v Speaker 2>On a certain level. But I'm kind of like background

0:31:27.800 --> 0:31:31.320
<v Speaker 2>character sometimes, which is fine, Like that's like I just

0:31:31.440 --> 0:31:33.880
<v Speaker 2>kind of hang out and I get to know these

0:31:33.920 --> 0:31:36.480
<v Speaker 2>people and be with these people. It's great.

0:31:37.840 --> 0:31:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Being out and around people is the only thing. I mean,

0:31:41.000 --> 0:31:43.040
<v Speaker 1>not everyone likes doing it, but to me, it's like

0:31:44.320 --> 0:31:47.400
<v Speaker 1>the the To me, the added of for depression is

0:31:47.520 --> 0:31:49.320
<v Speaker 1>just like being out of your house and in the

0:31:49.920 --> 0:31:54.160
<v Speaker 1>universe as much as possible, you know, right, Depression, depression

0:31:54.240 --> 0:31:59.520
<v Speaker 1>and existentialism really really they come to me lay it

0:31:59.560 --> 0:32:04.800
<v Speaker 1>at night and in times where I'm like not doing anything.

0:32:05.160 --> 0:32:10.040
<v Speaker 1>And I posted this video about like existential depression about

0:32:10.240 --> 0:32:12.800
<v Speaker 1>a little less of a year ago, and someone made

0:32:12.840 --> 0:32:14.600
<v Speaker 1>a comment on it. They were like, the opposite of

0:32:14.680 --> 0:32:18.120
<v Speaker 1>depression is expression, and I was like, that's fucking genius.

0:32:18.360 --> 0:32:21.240
<v Speaker 1>That's genius. And so I kind of have been kind

0:32:21.240 --> 0:32:23.240
<v Speaker 1>of since then, like I mean, I mean, this is always,

0:32:23.240 --> 0:32:24.719
<v Speaker 1>this has been a constant of my life, but I've

0:32:24.760 --> 0:32:27.800
<v Speaker 1>been it's been a little more pointed since then. I'm

0:32:27.840 --> 0:32:30.719
<v Speaker 1>just like, oh, the antidote for like existentialism and depression

0:32:30.800 --> 0:32:35.040
<v Speaker 1>is too just like how can I be of the

0:32:35.200 --> 0:32:39.680
<v Speaker 1>universe as much as possible? You know, Like I could

0:32:39.720 --> 0:32:45.120
<v Speaker 1>be around people doing things like like on missions. My

0:32:45.360 --> 0:32:52.440
<v Speaker 1>mind demanded somewhere shit like that. So you know, I

0:32:52.520 --> 0:32:57.200
<v Speaker 1>mean it sounds like this relationship, although it was nice,

0:32:57.360 --> 0:32:59.760
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like it kind of kept you from being

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:02.800
<v Speaker 1>of the universe for a for the better part of

0:33:02.840 --> 0:33:04.120
<v Speaker 1>a decade. Is that accurate?

0:33:05.240 --> 0:33:10.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's that's so profound. That's so profound. I love that. Yeah.

0:33:10.200 --> 0:33:15.440
<v Speaker 2>I mean, honestly, yes, it's it's very true. I get it.

0:33:15.640 --> 0:33:17.880
<v Speaker 2>My I was a part of it in a very

0:33:18.480 --> 0:33:19.960
<v Speaker 2>in a very contained sense.

0:33:20.240 --> 0:33:25.000
<v Speaker 1>Exactly, Yes, a very contained sense, uh, which is which

0:33:25.120 --> 0:33:27.800
<v Speaker 1>is fine. I mean that container, there's a lot of

0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:29.800
<v Speaker 1>joy in that container. People find a lot of joy

0:33:29.840 --> 0:33:34.800
<v Speaker 1>in that container. I think there's a lot of joy

0:33:34.840 --> 0:33:37.160
<v Speaker 1>to be found in that container. There's a listen, dude. Also,

0:33:37.240 --> 0:33:39.120
<v Speaker 1>by the by the way, the thing about that container, right,

0:33:39.960 --> 0:33:44.800
<v Speaker 1>this this thing about like you have your friends and

0:33:44.840 --> 0:33:46.840
<v Speaker 1>you have your people, but you feel like a background character.

0:33:47.480 --> 0:33:49.320
<v Speaker 1>There's there's a lot of trade offs. And I'll explain

0:33:50.240 --> 0:33:52.800
<v Speaker 1>this of like, you know, you can go out right

0:33:52.880 --> 0:33:54.520
<v Speaker 1>and you can be a part of a big community

0:33:55.440 --> 0:33:58.240
<v Speaker 1>and you can be valued in that community, and you

0:33:58.400 --> 0:34:02.000
<v Speaker 1>can be uh really helpful in that community. And those

0:34:02.040 --> 0:34:04.000
<v Speaker 1>people can feel like your family and all that stuff.

0:34:04.200 --> 0:34:05.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you feel this way, but this

0:34:05.600 --> 0:34:06.840
<v Speaker 1>is the way I kind of feel, where it's like

0:34:09.960 --> 0:34:14.520
<v Speaker 1>like there's there can there can be, there can be

0:34:17.800 --> 0:34:22.239
<v Speaker 1>there can be like people who are like around you

0:34:23.040 --> 0:34:27.600
<v Speaker 1>in life. But there's a difference between that and like

0:34:27.640 --> 0:34:30.200
<v Speaker 1>people who are like in your life, you know what

0:34:30.280 --> 0:34:32.759
<v Speaker 1>I mean? And that quick because you go to you cause,

0:34:32.800 --> 0:34:34.759
<v Speaker 1>you go to the rock climbing gym, or you go

0:34:34.920 --> 0:34:38.080
<v Speaker 1>to the comedy open mic, or you go to the whatever,

0:34:38.160 --> 0:34:40.600
<v Speaker 1>and you have a good time with everyone. But at

0:34:40.640 --> 0:34:43.520
<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, everyone goes home, at the

0:34:43.880 --> 0:34:45.920
<v Speaker 1>very end of the day, at the very end of

0:34:45.920 --> 0:34:49.440
<v Speaker 1>the day, everyone goes home to their own little container,

0:34:50.520 --> 0:34:55.239
<v Speaker 1>and you want to have a quality container. Still, I

0:34:55.280 --> 0:35:00.960
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't completely neglect the value of the content, but I

0:35:01.080 --> 0:35:03.960
<v Speaker 1>think a real at least to me, a real quality

0:35:04.080 --> 0:35:07.480
<v Speaker 1>life is about like, Okay, if you spend too much

0:35:07.560 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 1>time in that container, and that container is your entire universe,

0:35:11.440 --> 0:35:15.279
<v Speaker 1>then uh, you know, if you get divorced or or

0:35:15.280 --> 0:35:17.680
<v Speaker 1>even if you don't, you just you just kind of

0:35:17.880 --> 0:35:22.239
<v Speaker 1>find yourself confined to that container. And then if you're

0:35:22.280 --> 0:35:24.719
<v Speaker 1>in the universe that's really great. If I had to

0:35:24.800 --> 0:35:27.640
<v Speaker 1>pick between one hundred percent in the universe or one

0:35:27.680 --> 0:35:29.760
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent the container, I'm picking one hundredercent in the universe.

0:35:29.960 --> 0:35:31.800
<v Speaker 1>If you're in the universe, that's great. The universe is

0:35:31.800 --> 0:35:36.960
<v Speaker 1>a great place to be. But you might find depending

0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:38.640
<v Speaker 1>on the kind of person you are, if you're of

0:35:38.760 --> 0:35:43.400
<v Speaker 1>the universe, uh, indefinitely you you kind of that's how

0:35:43.520 --> 0:35:45.600
<v Speaker 1>that's how you wind up going back to your container

0:35:45.719 --> 0:35:48.600
<v Speaker 1>being like, Oh, I'm kind of fucking lonely. Like everyone

0:35:48.640 --> 0:35:51.440
<v Speaker 1>else has their lives and I get to interact with

0:35:51.520 --> 0:35:54.040
<v Speaker 1>other people my life, and these are the people's lives,

0:35:54.280 --> 0:35:56.960
<v Speaker 1>like they're they're rubbing up against each other, and that's

0:35:57.200 --> 0:36:00.759
<v Speaker 1>nice and that's great, but like, who's really at the

0:36:00.840 --> 0:36:04.120
<v Speaker 1>end of the day, who's really who's really in my life,

0:36:04.480 --> 0:36:08.640
<v Speaker 1>who's really in my day to day decisions and in

0:36:08.880 --> 0:36:13.320
<v Speaker 1>my day to day existence, and like, you know, fucking

0:36:13.719 --> 0:36:16.879
<v Speaker 1>sharing a life with him, you know. And I think

0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:21.919
<v Speaker 1>it's important to have people who are really in your life,

0:36:22.040 --> 0:36:25.840
<v Speaker 1>but also important to balance that with like being of

0:36:26.320 --> 0:36:30.120
<v Speaker 1>the universe. So it's a tricky it's a tricky balance

0:36:30.920 --> 0:36:32.960
<v Speaker 1>to have. It sounds like you were a little bit

0:36:33.000 --> 0:36:38.320
<v Speaker 1>more in your container for the better part of a decade,

0:36:38.360 --> 0:36:40.320
<v Speaker 1>and now you're learning how to be more of the universe.

0:36:42.760 --> 0:36:45.040
<v Speaker 1>But this is good. It sounds like this is a

0:36:45.080 --> 0:36:46.759
<v Speaker 1>good thing. Actually, it sounds like this is a good thing.

0:36:47.120 --> 0:36:49.239
<v Speaker 1>This is a good development for you in some way.

0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:52.160
<v Speaker 2>I think so, I think, you know, I think so,

0:36:52.400 --> 0:36:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Like when very first, I mean, it's it's still kind

0:36:54.560 --> 0:36:57.719
<v Speaker 2>of it's still it's still very fresh, but like, ultimately,

0:36:59.040 --> 0:37:02.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's it's a good change, because yeah, like

0:37:03.280 --> 0:37:08.560
<v Speaker 2>branching out being of the universes is ultimately better than

0:37:08.640 --> 0:37:14.040
<v Speaker 2>being in like a super you know, codependent uh potentially

0:37:14.200 --> 0:37:22.880
<v Speaker 2>like negative container. Like yeah, yeah, I don't really know

0:37:22.880 --> 0:37:23.480
<v Speaker 2>what to say.

0:37:24.120 --> 0:37:27.160
<v Speaker 1>So well, let me ask you this. We've been talking

0:37:27.160 --> 0:37:30.480
<v Speaker 1>for about thirty five minutes. I know you said there

0:37:30.560 --> 0:37:32.279
<v Speaker 1>was a lot of different things you wanted to talk about.

0:37:32.280 --> 0:37:34.120
<v Speaker 1>The divorce was only one of them. Was there anything else?

0:37:37.239 --> 0:37:41.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? So I'll talk about like there's a so that

0:37:41.960 --> 0:37:43.680
<v Speaker 2>the hobby that I'll talk about that of it a

0:37:43.719 --> 0:37:44.560
<v Speaker 2>little bit if that's cool?

0:37:45.000 --> 0:37:45.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sure, what is it?

0:37:46.880 --> 0:37:49.759
<v Speaker 2>Sure? So the hobby that I recently picked up by

0:37:49.760 --> 0:37:53.840
<v Speaker 2>a year ago is foam fighting, like with foam.

0:37:53.640 --> 0:37:56.000
<v Speaker 1>So oh, you're a fucking larfer. Dude, You're a larfer.

0:37:56.239 --> 0:37:56.439
<v Speaker 2>Fuck.

0:37:56.520 --> 0:37:59.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, absolutely, that's awesome. That's so cool.

0:37:59.680 --> 0:38:03.440
<v Speaker 2>I am dude. I've just I fucking love it. Like

0:38:04.880 --> 0:38:07.960
<v Speaker 2>it's it's not like so the one that I play,

0:38:08.000 --> 0:38:11.080
<v Speaker 2>it's not you're not like role playing per se, but

0:38:11.320 --> 0:38:14.920
<v Speaker 2>you are like using foam swords and foam shields. It's

0:38:15.000 --> 0:38:18.000
<v Speaker 2>like almost like a martial art. Uh. And it sounds

0:38:18.080 --> 0:38:22.960
<v Speaker 2>very nerdy, but like it's so much, it has so

0:38:23.040 --> 0:38:27.759
<v Speaker 2>many buffs, so it's like, uh, it's it's outside. You're socializing,

0:38:27.960 --> 0:38:34.200
<v Speaker 2>you're getting better at something. You're like learning different maneuvers

0:38:34.280 --> 0:38:38.120
<v Speaker 2>to like out smart your opponent. Uh. I just I've

0:38:38.160 --> 0:38:41.719
<v Speaker 2>been really on this kick lately and I fucking love it.

0:38:41.760 --> 0:38:48.840
<v Speaker 2>It's called Bella Gars. Yeah, Bella b E L E

0:38:49.600 --> 0:38:51.040
<v Speaker 2>g A r th.

0:38:51.320 --> 0:38:54.360
<v Speaker 1>H Mmm. Have you met a lot of friends doing this?

0:38:55.600 --> 0:38:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, yeah, I've met a lot of really good people.

0:38:58.640 --> 0:39:03.640
<v Speaker 2>Like the communities and belly Art are super welcoming, especially

0:39:03.719 --> 0:39:06.360
<v Speaker 2>the one that I've I've recently become a part of.

0:39:06.520 --> 0:39:12.040
<v Speaker 2>Like like I said, they they are essentially like family.

0:39:12.840 --> 0:39:15.560
<v Speaker 2>Like everyone's super cool, Like everyone's super like wanting to

0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:21.279
<v Speaker 2>YouTube to improve and just we hang out outside of

0:39:21.840 --> 0:39:25.839
<v Speaker 2>outside of the group. I mean, it's been super super nice.

0:39:26.600 --> 0:39:31.960
<v Speaker 2>Uh so yeah, and it makes me it it taps

0:39:32.000 --> 0:39:35.120
<v Speaker 2>into that that part of me that like, I don't know,

0:39:35.239 --> 0:39:36.880
<v Speaker 2>I used to play a lot of like Skyrim and

0:39:38.160 --> 0:39:40.360
<v Speaker 2>like Elder Scrolls and like role playing games, and I

0:39:40.400 --> 0:39:43.000
<v Speaker 2>actually had to do it outside with people. Cool, and

0:39:43.760 --> 0:39:47.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's it's really cool. It's really fun events

0:39:47.520 --> 0:39:51.759
<v Speaker 2>that happened. I've been doing it for for for for

0:39:52.160 --> 0:39:52.839
<v Speaker 2>ten months now.

0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:55.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Cool, Okay, so you must have acted, you must

0:39:55.680 --> 0:39:57.280
<v Speaker 1>have made some like actual friends.

0:39:58.880 --> 0:40:00.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's an definitely.

0:40:00.800 --> 0:40:04.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's get into this real quick because I actually

0:40:04.239 --> 0:40:06.080
<v Speaker 1>have some thoughts about this. You say that you're a

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:10.080
<v Speaker 1>background character, right, you don't feel like you're really like Okay,

0:40:11.480 --> 0:40:16.799
<v Speaker 1>there's clear solutions to this. Okay, First of all, how

0:40:16.800 --> 0:40:18.560
<v Speaker 1>do you feel about your status as a background character?

0:40:18.600 --> 0:40:20.319
<v Speaker 1>Would you like to be less of a background character?

0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:27.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, I feel like subtly like I'm moving from

0:40:27.200 --> 0:40:31.680
<v Speaker 2>the background character to becoming more of like I don't

0:40:31.719 --> 0:40:34.640
<v Speaker 2>want to say main character, but like a like an extra.

0:40:35.320 --> 0:40:37.680
<v Speaker 1>Here's what you gotta do, Here's what you gotta do. Yeah,

0:40:37.680 --> 0:40:40.719
<v Speaker 1>here's what you gotta do you have to start the key?

0:40:40.880 --> 0:40:43.600
<v Speaker 1>I learned this a long time ago. The key to

0:40:44.280 --> 0:40:46.919
<v Speaker 1>in any scene you're in a scene, right, The key

0:40:47.160 --> 0:40:50.760
<v Speaker 1>in any scene if you are feeling like a background

0:40:50.880 --> 0:40:55.759
<v Speaker 1>character is you must add value to the scene. Right.

0:40:56.000 --> 0:40:58.480
<v Speaker 1>So well, I learned to this a long time ago.

0:40:58.480 --> 0:41:01.680
<v Speaker 1>When I was in college. I had two things. I

0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:03.799
<v Speaker 1>still love these things, but you know, I was doing

0:41:03.800 --> 0:41:06.080
<v Speaker 1>a lot of stand up comedy, and I was doing

0:41:07.560 --> 0:41:10.880
<v Speaker 1>like Super Smash Brothers tournaments. And I would show up

0:41:10.880 --> 0:41:12.520
<v Speaker 1>at these open mics. And I would show up at

0:41:12.520 --> 0:41:14.600
<v Speaker 1>these tournaments and like, I would know people there, and

0:41:14.640 --> 0:41:16.520
<v Speaker 1>I would have fun and I would make some friends.

0:41:16.560 --> 0:41:18.400
<v Speaker 1>But I again, you feel a little bit like a

0:41:18.440 --> 0:41:23.320
<v Speaker 1>background character. And it wasn't until I started putting on

0:41:24.360 --> 0:41:27.760
<v Speaker 1>the shows and the open mics, or I started putting

0:41:27.960 --> 0:41:31.680
<v Speaker 1>on the tournaments that I went from a background character

0:41:32.320 --> 0:41:35.080
<v Speaker 1>to really being a part of the scene. So that's

0:41:35.120 --> 0:41:37.560
<v Speaker 1>the key in any scene. And it's not, by the way,

0:41:37.640 --> 0:41:40.440
<v Speaker 1>this is not like a transactional thing. It's just like

0:41:40.600 --> 0:41:43.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, you you you gotta you gotta host the party.

0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:45.840
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. You gotta have everyone in

0:41:45.960 --> 0:41:49.160
<v Speaker 1>your backyard to fucking hit each other. With swords or whatever,

0:41:49.200 --> 0:41:51.120
<v Speaker 1>because they're like, oh shit, this is this is you know,

0:41:51.719 --> 0:41:54.360
<v Speaker 1>this is Chris's backyard. They start to recognize you because

0:41:54.400 --> 0:41:58.440
<v Speaker 1>you've added some form of value to the scene. You

0:41:58.600 --> 0:42:01.600
<v Speaker 1>now become a part. You now go from like kind

0:42:01.680 --> 0:42:05.279
<v Speaker 1>of a a consumer of the scene to a contributor

0:42:05.360 --> 0:42:07.919
<v Speaker 1>of it. And that is what really kind of makes

0:42:08.000 --> 0:42:11.120
<v Speaker 1>you a bit, you know, a pillar of this community.

0:42:11.560 --> 0:42:13.600
<v Speaker 1>So so if I were you, if I if I

0:42:13.719 --> 0:42:18.120
<v Speaker 1>wanted to to find a way to elevate myself from

0:42:18.239 --> 0:42:21.880
<v Speaker 1>just a background character to really feeling like, uh uh,

0:42:22.080 --> 0:42:24.920
<v Speaker 1>these people are like in this community is like kind

0:42:24.960 --> 0:42:29.080
<v Speaker 1>of part of my my ship, I would start putting

0:42:29.160 --> 0:42:33.440
<v Speaker 1>on events or just figuring out how you can contribute. Right,

0:42:33.600 --> 0:42:35.200
<v Speaker 1>you just have to contribute. You get a contribute. You

0:42:35.200 --> 0:42:37.520
<v Speaker 1>can't it's not a it's not enough to just show

0:42:37.640 --> 0:42:41.600
<v Speaker 1>up consistently. You can show up consistently, be usefully be

0:42:41.600 --> 0:42:44.319
<v Speaker 1>a background character. Where it's once you start to contribute

0:42:45.160 --> 0:42:48.719
<v Speaker 1>is when you elevate yourself from background character to like,

0:42:48.840 --> 0:42:53.160
<v Speaker 1>oh I'm a cornerstone of the uh fucking South Carolina

0:42:53.239 --> 0:42:54.880
<v Speaker 1>larp scene. So that's that's my.

0:42:56.719 --> 0:42:59.319
<v Speaker 2>That that helps that helpful lot. Yeah, like I will

0:42:59.480 --> 0:43:01.880
<v Speaker 2>I will start, like because so there's a lot of

0:43:01.920 --> 0:43:04.320
<v Speaker 2>volunteer opportunities in it too, So maybe I'll start like

0:43:04.760 --> 0:43:07.879
<v Speaker 2>volunteering some more in the games and stuff. So that's

0:43:07.880 --> 0:43:11.320
<v Speaker 2>that's actually a really good idea. Yeah, when you say it,

0:43:11.400 --> 0:43:14.239
<v Speaker 2>when you say when you say put on put on stuff,

0:43:14.320 --> 0:43:17.960
<v Speaker 2>like you said open mic and uh super Smash Brothers.

0:43:18.080 --> 0:43:21.960
<v Speaker 2>Like so did you did you like say, hey, everybody,

0:43:22.040 --> 0:43:23.759
<v Speaker 2>come to my house, We're going to play Smash or

0:43:23.880 --> 0:43:25.920
<v Speaker 2>did you like put on the show? Like what what

0:43:26.120 --> 0:43:27.160
<v Speaker 2>was that process like for you?

0:43:27.920 --> 0:43:31.839
<v Speaker 1>Well, it's I mean it's easy because, like in anything,

0:43:32.760 --> 0:43:35.960
<v Speaker 1>there's always more people that want to participate in the

0:43:36.040 --> 0:43:39.560
<v Speaker 1>thing than than want to put it on, right sure,

0:43:39.719 --> 0:43:42.040
<v Speaker 1>like like like I mean I'll use those twos. I'll

0:43:42.120 --> 0:43:48.000
<v Speaker 1>use comedy, and I'll use uh uh, I'll use I'll

0:43:48.080 --> 0:43:51.520
<v Speaker 1>use Smash Bros. It's like there's way more like players

0:43:51.719 --> 0:43:55.799
<v Speaker 1>than there are tournament organizers. There's way more comedians than

0:43:55.840 --> 0:43:59.360
<v Speaker 1>there are people putting on the open mics. So in

0:43:59.520 --> 0:44:04.480
<v Speaker 1>any there's always going to be like more people who

0:44:04.640 --> 0:44:08.440
<v Speaker 1>want to attend events than there are events.

0:44:10.160 --> 0:44:10.759
<v Speaker 2>That makes sense.

0:44:11.400 --> 0:44:14.479
<v Speaker 1>So all you so just like do like like listen

0:44:14.600 --> 0:44:16.719
<v Speaker 1>you the all these like all these people, all these

0:44:16.800 --> 0:44:23.960
<v Speaker 1>LARPer people, Like they're gonna want fucking more opportunities to

0:44:24.040 --> 0:44:27.040
<v Speaker 1>do their thing. So if you give them more opportunities

0:44:27.080 --> 0:44:29.880
<v Speaker 1>to do their thing, you start becoming an important part

0:44:29.920 --> 0:44:32.799
<v Speaker 1>of the community. So it's like it's very much if

0:44:32.840 --> 0:44:36.279
<v Speaker 1>you build it, they will come type of thing. Yeah,

0:44:36.800 --> 0:44:39.200
<v Speaker 1>so you still got to start of some way, you know.

0:44:41.000 --> 0:44:43.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I will. I will say. I will say

0:44:43.960 --> 0:44:46.240
<v Speaker 2>last night that I did. So there's a a discord

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.319
<v Speaker 2>and I posted like, Hey, it's kind of like, it's

0:44:48.320 --> 0:44:50.200
<v Speaker 2>funny because you mentioned that, because like this is kind

0:44:50.239 --> 0:44:53.160
<v Speaker 2>of a this is kind of a crossover to what

0:44:53.280 --> 0:44:55.520
<v Speaker 2>you were saying, is that last night I posted something

0:44:55.520 --> 0:44:57.040
<v Speaker 2>in the discord. I was like, hey, who wants to

0:44:57.120 --> 0:45:00.920
<v Speaker 2>go to this improv show? And that was like kind

0:45:00.960 --> 0:45:03.720
<v Speaker 2>of outside of my comfort zone because I'm planning something.

0:45:04.360 --> 0:45:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you gotta plan the thing. You gotta plan the thing,

0:45:07.040 --> 0:45:10.719
<v Speaker 1>get that get it, get that ship deep into your

0:45:10.760 --> 0:45:12.879
<v Speaker 1>comfort zone. You gotta plan the thing. That's the key

0:45:12.960 --> 0:45:15.399
<v Speaker 1>to life. You gotta the key. You gotta host the party.

0:45:15.440 --> 0:45:16.879
<v Speaker 1>It's the key to life, I swear to God.

0:45:19.239 --> 0:45:21.040
<v Speaker 2>So I did that and I went with a friend

0:45:21.080 --> 0:45:22.920
<v Speaker 2>of mine. It was just one guy, but like we

0:45:22.960 --> 0:45:24.759
<v Speaker 2>still had a really good time. It talked about life

0:45:24.760 --> 0:45:26.600
<v Speaker 2>and ship with him. It was great. So that was

0:45:26.719 --> 0:45:29.919
<v Speaker 2>just like one, it's funny that you mentioned that because

0:45:29.920 --> 0:45:32.479
<v Speaker 2>I am on that path. I just have to start

0:45:32.560 --> 0:45:37.319
<v Speaker 2>doing shit Moore. But I like that advice. Thank you, Chris.

0:45:38.719 --> 0:45:41.080
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I still think you're a good dude. I like

0:45:41.280 --> 0:45:46.320
<v Speaker 1>talking to you. I'm I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful for you

0:45:47.200 --> 0:45:51.120
<v Speaker 1>in this crazy Yeah, don't get just just like listen, man,

0:45:51.200 --> 0:45:54.239
<v Speaker 1>don't like next time, next time you start feeling all

0:45:54.320 --> 0:45:57.600
<v Speaker 1>existential and crazy, just be like, I gotta, I gotta,

0:45:57.760 --> 0:46:00.440
<v Speaker 1>I gotta put something on. I gotta, I gotta invite

0:46:00.440 --> 0:46:02.160
<v Speaker 1>everyone to the improv show. I gotta do what I

0:46:02.280 --> 0:46:04.279
<v Speaker 1>just start. You just got to do things as the

0:46:04.360 --> 0:46:06.520
<v Speaker 1>only kid. That's the only answer I have to any

0:46:06.960 --> 0:46:10.320
<v Speaker 1>existential bullshit is just you know, be of the universe

0:46:10.440 --> 0:46:11.279
<v Speaker 1>in the best way you can.

0:46:12.719 --> 0:46:15.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I just want to say, like I really love

0:46:15.440 --> 0:46:18.160
<v Speaker 2>what you're doing with this this podcast, and like thanks.

0:46:18.160 --> 0:46:20.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I said, I'm not really like a super longtime listener,

0:46:21.040 --> 0:46:24.759
<v Speaker 2>but probably will be going forward because thanks. Man. It

0:46:25.360 --> 0:46:28.279
<v Speaker 2>this ship is, this ship is really like hitting for me.

0:46:29.480 --> 0:46:31.040
<v Speaker 2>So like I love what you're doing. You're doing a

0:46:31.080 --> 0:46:33.319
<v Speaker 2>great job. So I just wanted to say that. Now.

0:46:33.360 --> 0:46:35.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad that it's cool that more people I thought

0:46:35.920 --> 0:46:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I thought that I kind of thought that this podcast

0:46:38.120 --> 0:46:41.160
<v Speaker 1>was like, all right, everyone who has found it has

0:46:41.200 --> 0:46:43.160
<v Speaker 1>already everyone who is going to find it has already

0:46:43.200 --> 0:46:45.719
<v Speaker 1>found it. So I'm glad to hear that new people

0:46:45.760 --> 0:46:47.839
<v Speaker 1>are finding it. I gotta I'm gonna start posting more

0:46:47.960 --> 0:46:52.960
<v Speaker 1>Instagram clips now because of you sweat, Chris, Is there

0:46:52.960 --> 0:46:54.080
<v Speaker 1>anything else you want to say to the people of

0:46:54.120 --> 0:46:54.960
<v Speaker 1>the computer before we go?

0:46:57.600 --> 0:47:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Hmmm? I would just say, you know, keep your head up.

0:47:02.239 --> 0:47:08.120
<v Speaker 2>Things get better, everything passes, Everything's transient, but everything. Just

0:47:08.280 --> 0:47:11.080
<v Speaker 2>enjoy what you have today. Just enjoy what you have today.

0:47:11.120 --> 0:47:12.640
<v Speaker 2>That's why I leave people with the computer.

0:47:13.800 --> 0:47:15.239
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Chris. You have a good rest of the night.

0:47:15.280 --> 0:47:17.879
<v Speaker 1>Get blessed brother, Gat blessed brother.

0:47:18.160 --> 0:47:18.440
<v Speaker 2>Bye.

0:47:19.040 --> 0:47:26.200
<v Speaker 1>See Chris, I'm telling you it's just two he said

0:47:26.239 --> 0:47:31.360
<v Speaker 1>two things. He said, is this really the Gecko? And

0:47:31.480 --> 0:47:34.200
<v Speaker 1>then he said nice. Actually I forget the two things

0:47:34.239 --> 0:47:36.520
<v Speaker 1>he said, but I could tell I could tell you

0:47:36.719 --> 0:47:37.280
<v Speaker 1>good vibes.

0:47:41.160 --> 0:47:43.479
<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hi, how you doing, Lyle?

0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:45.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing good? Brother. What's your name?

0:47:45.840 --> 0:47:50.440
<v Speaker 2>Tell yeah, my name is Finn. Dude. Holy shit, so

0:47:50.520 --> 0:47:51.279
<v Speaker 2>good to be joking you.

0:47:51.320 --> 0:47:56.959
<v Speaker 1>Man, Finn. What's going on with you? Good? Good, sir, Finn.

0:47:57.120 --> 0:48:02.680
<v Speaker 2>Not much. I'm I'm a stuff lifesaver done here in Australia.

0:48:02.719 --> 0:48:07.400
<v Speaker 2>I just had a patrol shift. So I'm sitting here

0:48:07.440 --> 0:48:10.040
<v Speaker 2>with my girlfriend doing some university work. We're both self

0:48:10.080 --> 0:48:11.800
<v Speaker 2>life savers and yeah, kicking back.

0:48:11.719 --> 0:48:16.120
<v Speaker 1>Man, beautiful beautiful you said you're both life savers. Is

0:48:16.160 --> 0:48:16.799
<v Speaker 1>that what it's called?

0:48:18.400 --> 0:48:21.120
<v Speaker 2>Uh? Yeah, Well, basically the guys that hang out on

0:48:21.160 --> 0:48:23.520
<v Speaker 2>the beach and like makes it all on drowns or

0:48:23.560 --> 0:48:24.799
<v Speaker 2>like pull people out of the water off.

0:48:24.800 --> 0:48:28.600
<v Speaker 1>That it's oh wait, in Australia they call a lifeguard

0:48:28.760 --> 0:48:29.560
<v Speaker 1>a lifesaver.

0:48:31.320 --> 0:48:34.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so it's like surf lifesaver. So you're the you're

0:48:34.040 --> 0:48:35.759
<v Speaker 2>the guys and the stuff out on the boards, like

0:48:35.840 --> 0:48:37.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm in the boats and shit like that.

0:48:37.960 --> 0:48:44.400
<v Speaker 1>Wow, that's a lot more. Uh what's the word for it, Godly,

0:48:44.520 --> 0:48:45.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I don't know what to say, Like

0:48:45.760 --> 0:48:48.400
<v Speaker 1>this is a difference between you like you guard because

0:48:48.719 --> 0:48:50.719
<v Speaker 1>you know what, Actually, here's what I'll say, a lifesaver.

0:48:50.960 --> 0:48:53.800
<v Speaker 1>It kind of implies that like something inevitable will happen,

0:48:54.040 --> 0:48:54.640
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean.

0:48:55.280 --> 0:48:58.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, hey, dude, it's Australia, Like you got

0:48:58.040 --> 0:49:01.239
<v Speaker 2>the shocks, the snakes, the fucking everything. That's again. Yeah,

0:49:01.440 --> 0:49:02.759
<v Speaker 2>it's like that's the implication.

0:49:03.480 --> 0:49:05.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because if you're guarding a life, you're like, we

0:49:05.840 --> 0:49:09.240
<v Speaker 1>are the life guards. It's like, hey, we're just making

0:49:09.920 --> 0:49:14.640
<v Speaker 1>It's like we're just making sure that nothing bad happens.

0:49:14.880 --> 0:49:17.680
<v Speaker 1>But if we're if you're a life saver, it's like, hey,

0:49:17.800 --> 0:49:21.200
<v Speaker 1>something's going to happen, but when it does, we'll be

0:49:21.280 --> 0:49:22.399
<v Speaker 1>there to save your life.

0:49:22.600 --> 0:49:26.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're ready to step in. Holy shit, man, hey, gek,

0:49:26.920 --> 0:49:30.160
<v Speaker 2>what's you? I noticed Like obviously you're asking the questions

0:49:30.280 --> 0:49:32.359
<v Speaker 2>a lot, it's your show, but like, what's going brings

0:49:32.400 --> 0:49:34.920
<v Speaker 2>you joy? Like decides doing this sort of stuff? What

0:49:35.120 --> 0:49:36.080
<v Speaker 2>what's sparks joy for you?

0:49:37.080 --> 0:49:45.279
<v Speaker 1>What sparks joy for me? I don't have a good

0:49:45.320 --> 0:49:46.120
<v Speaker 1>answer to that question.

0:49:46.280 --> 0:49:46.440
<v Speaker 2>Man.

0:49:46.520 --> 0:49:50.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean the sun. I like the sun. I like working.

0:49:52.520 --> 0:49:55.800
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, fair as fuck. Yeah, getting out gonna be like

0:49:55.920 --> 0:49:57.880
<v Speaker 2>vitamin D. We're just going into winter down here, so

0:49:57.960 --> 0:49:59.680
<v Speaker 2>you guys are gonna be going into summer pretty soon.

0:50:00.440 --> 0:50:03.439
<v Speaker 2>Get from some nicer weather or park weather.

0:50:04.320 --> 0:50:07.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was in Australia like three years ago and

0:50:07.560 --> 0:50:11.359
<v Speaker 1>there was it was winter time. But anyway, listen, fit

0:50:11.520 --> 0:50:13.279
<v Speaker 1>enough with a small talk. What's up man? Would you

0:50:13.280 --> 0:50:13.960
<v Speaker 1>want to talk about?

0:50:16.080 --> 0:50:19.319
<v Speaker 2>I kind of want to talk about what I'm doing

0:50:19.400 --> 0:50:21.520
<v Speaker 2>at the moment. I've just kind of made like a

0:50:21.640 --> 0:50:25.720
<v Speaker 2>bit of a career not career shift, but for reference,

0:50:25.800 --> 0:50:30.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm studying engineering at UNI, so I'm in my fourth year,

0:50:30.719 --> 0:50:32.440
<v Speaker 2>so like coming to the sort of back end of

0:50:32.480 --> 0:50:36.439
<v Speaker 2>the degree. In the last like two and a half years,

0:50:36.440 --> 0:50:39.960
<v Speaker 2>I've been working at a startup with a friend and

0:50:40.239 --> 0:50:43.560
<v Speaker 2>I have just left that to pursue my own sort

0:50:43.600 --> 0:50:45.400
<v Speaker 2>of little startup situation.

0:50:46.760 --> 0:50:59.040
<v Speaker 4>Please please please, please please please please please please please.

0:50:58.760 --> 0:51:02.640
<v Speaker 1>Tell me it's not like a dumb, bullshit AI startup

0:51:02.680 --> 0:51:05.080
<v Speaker 1>that is just a thing the chat CHPC already does.

0:51:07.160 --> 0:51:09.920
<v Speaker 2>No, no, not at all, and like do trust me,

0:51:10.000 --> 0:51:13.160
<v Speaker 2>because like we go through with Whilst I was working

0:51:13.160 --> 0:51:15.000
<v Speaker 2>at the other startup, we're doing like a lot of

0:51:15.120 --> 0:51:18.000
<v Speaker 2>pitch competitions. So it was like would be sat there

0:51:18.040 --> 0:51:19.680
<v Speaker 2>with other people who were trying to get like grant

0:51:19.760 --> 0:51:22.000
<v Speaker 2>money all that sort of stuff, and dude, ninety five

0:51:22.040 --> 0:51:24.880
<v Speaker 2>percent of it was just like you know, this this apple,

0:51:24.960 --> 0:51:27.080
<v Speaker 2>this thing that you like, what if it was AI.

0:51:27.320 --> 0:51:29.359
<v Speaker 2>Believe it or not, it's so dumb AI as well.

0:51:29.560 --> 0:51:30.160
<v Speaker 1>It's so dumb.

0:51:32.000 --> 0:51:35.480
<v Speaker 2>It's it's very like dot com bubble, like just kind

0:51:35.520 --> 0:51:38.000
<v Speaker 2>of throwing throwing it on there because it's what's popular. No,

0:51:38.440 --> 0:51:41.440
<v Speaker 2>the previous startup I was working at, it was actually

0:51:41.440 --> 0:51:46.560
<v Speaker 2>really really cool. They used algae to like fix up wastewater.

0:51:47.239 --> 0:51:47.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh I like that.

0:51:48.239 --> 0:51:49.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's real.

0:51:49.400 --> 0:51:53.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, a real, real, actual, honest to god thing.

0:51:54.840 --> 0:51:57.600
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, that was pretty cool. And now I'm working

0:51:57.640 --> 0:52:00.680
<v Speaker 2>on one of my own things, keeping like putting a

0:52:00.680 --> 0:52:03.360
<v Speaker 2>little sensors and shit in the ocean and checking on

0:52:03.800 --> 0:52:05.480
<v Speaker 2>and like environmental data in the sea.

0:52:06.520 --> 0:52:06.800
<v Speaker 1>Dude.

0:52:06.880 --> 0:52:07.160
<v Speaker 4>Cool.

0:52:07.280 --> 0:52:08.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so that's your startup?

0:52:10.040 --> 0:52:13.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, I mean I don't know. I'm like very

0:52:14.160 --> 0:52:18.120
<v Speaker 2>very ocean coded. I love like diving, spearfishing, snorkeling, all

0:52:18.160 --> 0:52:21.080
<v Speaker 2>that sort of business, So like, I don't know, I

0:52:21.160 --> 0:52:22.879
<v Speaker 2>want to kind of set myself up to be working

0:52:22.920 --> 0:52:25.200
<v Speaker 2>in that industry I once I graduate.

0:52:26.040 --> 0:52:28.719
<v Speaker 1>Dude. Cool, No, dude, whenever I hear startup, I just

0:52:28.840 --> 0:52:33.160
<v Speaker 1>immediately think, like some bullshit AI app that like the

0:52:33.320 --> 0:52:36.759
<v Speaker 1>world does not even remotely need at all.

0:52:38.239 --> 0:52:41.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just like up the up the global water consumption

0:52:41.200 --> 0:52:43.759
<v Speaker 2>a little bit more. Talk to your AI alarm clock

0:52:43.840 --> 0:52:45.960
<v Speaker 2>as you wake up. That's that's good for everyone.

0:52:46.040 --> 0:52:48.360
<v Speaker 1>Really, Okay, So what do you like about the ocean?

0:52:50.719 --> 0:52:54.759
<v Speaker 2>Dude? It's just so fucking good man. Like, I'm I'm

0:52:54.760 --> 0:52:57.680
<v Speaker 2>obviously very biased because it's like Australia, We've got like

0:52:57.760 --> 0:53:01.520
<v Speaker 2>some of the best beaches in the world, But I

0:53:01.600 --> 0:53:04.000
<v Speaker 2>feel more comfortable underwater than they do out of water,

0:53:04.080 --> 0:53:08.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, Like it's a it's a really like, I

0:53:08.520 --> 0:53:11.920
<v Speaker 2>don't know, kind of primal, just like incredibly present feeling

0:53:11.960 --> 0:53:14.239
<v Speaker 2>that I only really get when I'm like gone for

0:53:14.320 --> 0:53:14.640
<v Speaker 2>a dive.

0:53:16.040 --> 0:53:20.200
<v Speaker 1>Mmmm, where so you dive?

0:53:21.719 --> 0:53:24.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I've done like scuba. I do a

0:53:24.120 --> 0:53:26.640
<v Speaker 2>lot of snorkeling. I do a lot of spearfishing with

0:53:26.719 --> 0:53:27.440
<v Speaker 2>some of my friends.

0:53:27.520 --> 0:53:32.359
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, cool, cool, And Australia is known for having

0:53:32.400 --> 0:53:35.479
<v Speaker 1>pretty fucked up creatures. Are there a lot of fucked

0:53:35.520 --> 0:53:36.640
<v Speaker 1>up creatures under the sea.

0:53:37.360 --> 0:53:39.640
<v Speaker 2>There There are a lot of fucked up creatures, but

0:53:39.880 --> 0:53:42.359
<v Speaker 2>they're the cool ones, man, Like the ones that are

0:53:42.520 --> 0:53:46.320
<v Speaker 2>super venomous and like kind of crazier, the coolest, weirdest

0:53:46.360 --> 0:53:48.919
<v Speaker 2>little ones, like like we've got do you know about

0:53:48.920 --> 0:53:50.000
<v Speaker 2>the blue ring octopus?

0:53:50.280 --> 0:53:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know about the blue ring octopus. There's like

0:53:52.880 --> 0:53:54.719
<v Speaker 1>that video of a lady holding it and she has

0:53:54.760 --> 0:53:56.640
<v Speaker 1>no idea that it's like the most poisonous thing on

0:53:56.719 --> 0:53:57.280
<v Speaker 1>the universe.

0:53:58.560 --> 0:54:01.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. They've got like the kind of colored like those

0:54:01.560 --> 0:54:05.360
<v Speaker 2>little like highlighter pens that you've got in school, and

0:54:05.440 --> 0:54:07.680
<v Speaker 2>they're like tiny and look really really cute and are

0:54:07.760 --> 0:54:10.520
<v Speaker 2>like fluorescent like a glow stick. So little kids will

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:12.239
<v Speaker 2>be like, oh, this is fucking sick. Let me pick

0:54:12.320 --> 0:54:15.440
<v Speaker 2>this up and then just fucking straight up die. They're like,

0:54:15.600 --> 0:54:16.960
<v Speaker 2>it's crazy venomous.

0:54:17.760 --> 0:54:20.759
<v Speaker 1>Whoa are they common? Uh?

0:54:21.160 --> 0:54:24.600
<v Speaker 2>Not like super common, but there's enough of like a

0:54:24.760 --> 0:54:27.920
<v Speaker 2>spread between like another fish that just looks like a

0:54:28.040 --> 0:54:30.920
<v Speaker 2>rock and is also incredibly poisonous and it just sits

0:54:30.920 --> 0:54:33.000
<v Speaker 2>still and then if people step on it, it fucking

0:54:33.120 --> 0:54:35.640
<v Speaker 2>stabs them and then they die. It's crazy, dude.

0:54:36.280 --> 0:54:39.920
<v Speaker 1>Do you know anyone that's been killed by any Australian animals?

0:54:42.320 --> 0:54:45.879
<v Speaker 2>Not killed, But I've had like friends that have I've

0:54:45.880 --> 0:54:48.920
<v Speaker 2>got a mate that's got like a pretty solid at

0:54:49.040 --> 0:54:51.839
<v Speaker 2>like anti venom tolerance, because growing up you just got

0:54:51.880 --> 0:54:55.520
<v Speaker 2>bit by like a lot of snakes and so would

0:54:55.640 --> 0:54:58.719
<v Speaker 2>just kind of is naturally immune and kind of just

0:54:58.760 --> 0:55:01.160
<v Speaker 2>fucks around with snakes a running too them, like out

0:55:01.239 --> 0:55:01.720
<v Speaker 2>out bush?

0:55:02.520 --> 0:55:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, how often do you go out the bush?

0:55:07.360 --> 0:55:11.240
<v Speaker 2>Dude? As much as I can. I'm like, I'm twenty

0:55:11.800 --> 0:55:14.560
<v Speaker 2>two of like just only had a cough of lost

0:55:14.640 --> 0:55:17.840
<v Speaker 2>like yearish, but have gone on like heaps of camping

0:55:17.920 --> 0:55:20.160
<v Speaker 2>trips and like full wheel drive trips. It's like, know,

0:55:20.239 --> 0:55:21.320
<v Speaker 2>it makes me very very happy.

0:55:22.640 --> 0:55:23.720
<v Speaker 1>Cool man cool.

0:55:25.440 --> 0:55:28.200
<v Speaker 2>Also, my girlfriend is here and she also listens to

0:55:28.239 --> 0:55:30.640
<v Speaker 2>the podcast. I want to say high quickly. One think

0:55:30.840 --> 0:55:33.840
<v Speaker 2>I'll put you on. Hi. I'm a big fun and

0:55:33.920 --> 0:55:35.800
<v Speaker 2>I was not expecting him to actually put me on.

0:55:36.000 --> 0:55:38.879
<v Speaker 1>Oh hi, Well, what's going on in your life? What's

0:55:39.000 --> 0:55:39.520
<v Speaker 1>happening with you?

0:55:39.760 --> 0:55:42.279
<v Speaker 2>Are you? Do you? Are you? Like?

0:55:42.400 --> 0:55:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Are you a pilot? I'd like to think you're a pilot,

0:55:45.719 --> 0:55:48.520
<v Speaker 1>maybe because one does one covers the ocean, the other

0:55:48.560 --> 0:55:50.759
<v Speaker 1>covers the sky. That could be nice.

0:55:50.880 --> 0:55:53.839
<v Speaker 2>Oh that would be so poetic. Yeah, oh I should

0:55:53.880 --> 0:55:58.360
<v Speaker 2>have been a pilot. No, I'm also an engineer.

0:55:59.160 --> 0:56:02.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, that's still real. At least you're not yeah,

0:56:04.040 --> 0:56:06.080
<v Speaker 1>using AI to kill dogs or whatever they do.

0:56:08.480 --> 0:56:12.560
<v Speaker 2>No plans on killing dogs yet, but i'll lend you

0:56:12.719 --> 0:56:14.800
<v Speaker 2>back here. You get.

0:56:16.280 --> 0:56:17.359
<v Speaker 1>What's your name against Finn?

0:56:18.760 --> 0:56:20.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I always remembered it.

0:56:20.680 --> 0:56:23.080
<v Speaker 1>Hell yeah, I did remember Finn. Well, Finn, listen. It

0:56:23.160 --> 0:56:25.920
<v Speaker 1>was nice having a nice little chat with you. Is

0:56:25.960 --> 0:56:28.880
<v Speaker 1>there anything else that you wanted to say to the

0:56:28.960 --> 0:56:29.840
<v Speaker 1>folks before we go?

0:56:32.200 --> 0:56:33.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? You know, I mean I've listened to the pod

0:56:34.000 --> 0:56:36.320
<v Speaker 2>quite a bit, and I always I've always thought of like,

0:56:36.400 --> 0:56:37.960
<v Speaker 2>what would I say if I did manage to get

0:56:38.000 --> 0:56:40.160
<v Speaker 2>on and have the little like what i'd say to

0:56:40.200 --> 0:56:43.279
<v Speaker 2>the people in the computer. And there's a quote that

0:56:43.520 --> 0:56:46.719
<v Speaker 2>one of my friends has misattributed to our friend group

0:56:46.760 --> 0:56:50.279
<v Speaker 2>has misattributed to one of our friends Grandpas. But it's

0:56:50.360 --> 0:56:54.280
<v Speaker 2>something that I really love as kind of a compass

0:56:54.400 --> 0:56:57.680
<v Speaker 2>towards like how you should spend your time. And the

0:56:57.800 --> 0:57:00.520
<v Speaker 2>quote is the tools should feel light in your hands,

0:57:00.800 --> 0:57:03.520
<v Speaker 2>so that being like it shouldn't feel like a chore

0:57:03.640 --> 0:57:05.880
<v Speaker 2>to kind of use the tools of your trade.

0:57:07.400 --> 0:57:10.120
<v Speaker 1>I think that's a good way to be. I agree

0:57:10.160 --> 0:57:10.320
<v Speaker 1>with that.

0:57:10.719 --> 0:57:13.920
<v Speaker 2>Hell yeah, man, dude, love the podcast. You're doing amazing

0:57:14.040 --> 0:57:17.680
<v Speaker 2>stuff and keep it up. Come much to Australia, man,

0:57:17.720 --> 0:57:18.320
<v Speaker 2>when you come back.

0:57:18.960 --> 0:57:21.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I don't know. Man, I I don't

0:57:21.280 --> 0:57:22.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if we'll ever come back to Australia.

0:57:23.000 --> 0:57:25.000
<v Speaker 1>We'll see, we'll see how this will see how my

0:57:25.120 --> 0:57:28.000
<v Speaker 1>US We'll see If my US tour does well, then

0:57:28.080 --> 0:57:30.080
<v Speaker 1>we'll we'll go back to Australia. I gotta see what

0:57:30.280 --> 0:57:32.920
<v Speaker 1>we do in the US. So so tell the people

0:57:32.960 --> 0:57:35.360
<v Speaker 1>to go. Tell the people to buy tickets at therapy

0:57:35.400 --> 0:57:37.600
<v Speaker 1>get go tour dot com. And if we can sell

0:57:38.200 --> 0:57:38.360
<v Speaker 1>in the.

0:57:38.440 --> 0:57:43.800
<v Speaker 2>US, subscribe. Make sure you've got notifications enabled to thank

0:57:43.840 --> 0:57:46.920
<v Speaker 2>you when your city or town is coming up. Thanks

0:57:47.000 --> 0:57:48.000
<v Speaker 2>lovely chatting to you mate.

0:57:48.040 --> 0:57:52.720
<v Speaker 1>Have a good night, man, take care great see if

0:57:57.160 --> 0:57:59.920
<v Speaker 1>what's up, folks, it's Lyle. I am here to end

0:58:00.560 --> 0:58:04.760
<v Speaker 1>the episode with. Yes, that's right, you guessed it. A

0:58:05.000 --> 0:58:09.840
<v Speaker 1>piece of gek mail. Gak mail is mail that people

0:58:10.840 --> 0:58:16.680
<v Speaker 1>send me to the email address therapy geckomail at gmail

0:58:16.720 --> 0:58:19.640
<v Speaker 1>dot com. It's a mail that people send me to

0:58:19.680 --> 0:58:22.280
<v Speaker 1>the email address Therapy gecko mail at gmail dot com.

0:58:23.440 --> 0:58:28.960
<v Speaker 1>And uh, I read it. I read the mail, I

0:58:29.160 --> 0:58:33.480
<v Speaker 1>ponder the mail. I become the mail in some ways,

0:58:33.680 --> 0:58:37.040
<v Speaker 1>you could say. And so that's how I like to

0:58:37.080 --> 0:58:38.680
<v Speaker 1>do the show. I like to end it by reading

0:58:38.720 --> 0:58:43.160
<v Speaker 1>a piece or two of viewer mail. So let's do that,

0:58:44.320 --> 0:58:52.960
<v Speaker 1>guys down, let's do that all right. This is from Celeste,

0:58:54.280 --> 0:58:58.800
<v Speaker 1>subject line, I am on a new journey. Hello, Lyle.

0:58:59.040 --> 0:59:01.240
<v Speaker 1>So much has happened, and in the last couple of

0:59:01.320 --> 0:59:04.200
<v Speaker 1>months I thought I would share. I recently broke up

0:59:04.280 --> 0:59:06.880
<v Speaker 1>with my boyfriend right before Christmas because I was at

0:59:06.920 --> 0:59:11.000
<v Speaker 1>my breaking point. I've had this burst of freedom ever

0:59:11.120 --> 0:59:13.720
<v Speaker 1>since then, and it's made me so optimistic about life

0:59:13.760 --> 0:59:17.920
<v Speaker 1>in the world. I can do anything I want. So

0:59:18.040 --> 0:59:20.320
<v Speaker 1>I decided to apply to a cruise line and I

0:59:20.400 --> 0:59:23.320
<v Speaker 1>got the job. I've always wanted to work on one

0:59:23.400 --> 0:59:26.120
<v Speaker 1>and follow in my mother's footsteps. I know it will

0:59:26.160 --> 0:59:28.600
<v Speaker 1>be tough, but I'm excited for the connections I will

0:59:28.640 --> 0:59:31.320
<v Speaker 1>make and the places I will see. I just got

0:59:31.400 --> 0:59:34.600
<v Speaker 1>back from training in Salt Lake City, Mama Mia, I

0:59:34.760 --> 0:59:38.720
<v Speaker 1>did not like Salt Lake City. No offense to anyone listening.

0:59:39.440 --> 0:59:41.240
<v Speaker 1>I already met a bunch of new people who are

0:59:41.280 --> 0:59:44.120
<v Speaker 1>super cool and keep in touch. I recently found out

0:59:44.160 --> 0:59:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I will be in the New England area, mainly Baltimore

0:59:46.840 --> 0:59:49.400
<v Speaker 1>and Maine, but I am super excited to start next month.

0:59:49.760 --> 0:59:51.440
<v Speaker 1>I know you grew up in the Baltimore area. Do

0:59:51.520 --> 0:59:54.320
<v Speaker 1>you have any cool recommendations to see around that area?

0:59:54.720 --> 0:59:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Love what you do, never stop being yourself. Toodles recommendations

0:59:59.720 --> 1:00:04.680
<v Speaker 1>for me Ireland. Uh, there's one place in Baltimore that

1:00:04.760 --> 1:00:07.280
<v Speaker 1>I recommend everyone go to if you're in Baltimore. I

1:00:07.320 --> 1:00:09.120
<v Speaker 1>want to give a shout out to this place. One

1:00:09.160 --> 1:00:11.840
<v Speaker 1>of my favorite art museums in the world. Possibly my

1:00:11.920 --> 1:00:14.840
<v Speaker 1>favorite art museum in the world is I just dropped

1:00:14.840 --> 1:00:17.960
<v Speaker 1>a bottle cap. I just dropped them. I was fidgeting

1:00:18.000 --> 1:00:21.840
<v Speaker 1>with a bottle cap and I dropped it. Okay, the

1:00:22.040 --> 1:00:23.840
<v Speaker 1>my favorite art museum in the world. It's a place

1:00:23.920 --> 1:00:29.400
<v Speaker 1>called the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, Maryland. Highly

1:00:29.520 --> 1:00:32.680
<v Speaker 1>recommend the American Visionary Art Museum. It's this place where

1:00:32.840 --> 1:00:36.280
<v Speaker 1>it's like it's art that's kind of made by like

1:00:37.840 --> 1:00:42.120
<v Speaker 1>vagabonds and like, uh, I don't want to use the

1:00:42.320 --> 1:00:46.160
<v Speaker 1>term vagrants, but like it's you, it's it's it's art

1:00:46.360 --> 1:00:50.360
<v Speaker 1>made by people who are not like classical artists, right,

1:00:50.480 --> 1:00:54.120
<v Speaker 1>Like you go into a regular art museum and like

1:00:54.240 --> 1:00:57.480
<v Speaker 1>all the artists are like professional artists, I guess, and

1:00:57.600 --> 1:01:00.200
<v Speaker 1>these are all just like folks who kind kind of

1:01:00.320 --> 1:01:03.320
<v Speaker 1>like maybe they they had maybe they you know, started

1:01:03.440 --> 1:01:06.400
<v Speaker 1>making shit when they were like eighty years old and

1:01:06.520 --> 1:01:11.120
<v Speaker 1>going insane or like, you know, they died in obscurity.

1:01:11.720 --> 1:01:14.439
<v Speaker 1>And this is like art that was found of theirs later.

1:01:14.520 --> 1:01:16.840
<v Speaker 1>But it's kind of art that comes from conventional places

1:01:16.880 --> 1:01:19.520
<v Speaker 1>and it's really like cool and modern and shit. So

1:01:19.600 --> 1:01:23.600
<v Speaker 1>I recommend the American Visionary Art Museum. Go get it.

1:01:23.720 --> 1:01:26.280
<v Speaker 1>Go go eat a crab. I guess I don't fucking know,

1:01:26.440 --> 1:01:28.640
<v Speaker 1>Go to the go to the dinner harbor. I didn't

1:01:28.680 --> 1:01:33.959
<v Speaker 1>know that Baltimore is New England, so thanks for letting

1:01:34.040 --> 1:01:49.760
<v Speaker 1>me know that. Okay, let's read another email. Let's see here. Okay,

1:01:50.880 --> 1:01:55.560
<v Speaker 1>this is from Kirsten subject Line, child therapist who listens

1:01:55.640 --> 1:01:58.880
<v Speaker 1>to Gecko therapist. Hey Lyle, I have been on and

1:01:58.960 --> 1:02:02.200
<v Speaker 1>off listener since twenty t twenty three. I recently started

1:02:02.200 --> 1:02:04.920
<v Speaker 1>a weekly routine of listening to your podcast on Spotify

1:02:05.320 --> 1:02:07.640
<v Speaker 1>and it has made me feel less alone in my career.

1:02:08.120 --> 1:02:10.120
<v Speaker 1>As someone who talks all day, it is quite a

1:02:10.200 --> 1:02:13.640
<v Speaker 1>lonely profession being a therapist. I am a school based therapist,

1:02:13.880 --> 1:02:16.760
<v Speaker 1>which means I am contracted through an agency to have

1:02:16.960 --> 1:02:20.560
<v Speaker 1>therapists with children, to have therapy sessions with children K

1:02:20.720 --> 1:02:23.680
<v Speaker 1>through twelve during school hours. Wait, that's weird. I've never

1:02:23.720 --> 1:02:26.680
<v Speaker 1>heard of that before. They just like I didn't know

1:02:26.760 --> 1:02:29.439
<v Speaker 1>that they hire like free lancers to do this shit.

1:02:30.640 --> 1:02:34.440
<v Speaker 1>That's weird, right, That's like not normal, isn't the fucking

1:02:34.640 --> 1:02:38.640
<v Speaker 1>aren't like school therapists typically like school staff. I am

1:02:38.720 --> 1:02:40.880
<v Speaker 1>not a part of the school staff exactly, so there

1:02:40.920 --> 1:02:43.280
<v Speaker 1>can be a lot of miscommunication when it comes to

1:02:43.360 --> 1:02:47.200
<v Speaker 1>school schedules and school politics surrounding when I can see

1:02:47.240 --> 1:02:51.240
<v Speaker 1>my students and safe places I can actually hold sessions.

1:02:51.760 --> 1:02:54.760
<v Speaker 1>I have been offered a janitor's closet before, and I

1:02:54.880 --> 1:02:59.920
<v Speaker 1>had to advocate for an actual room. Hilarious. Typical therapists

1:03:00.360 --> 1:03:03.720
<v Speaker 1>keep a case load of fifteen to thirty clients, whereas

1:03:03.800 --> 1:03:07.440
<v Speaker 1>I have currently fifty three in counting. Shout out to

1:03:07.520 --> 1:03:10.520
<v Speaker 1>community mental health. It can be lonely due to being

1:03:10.520 --> 1:03:13.000
<v Speaker 1>an outsider in the school system, but in a way,

1:03:13.080 --> 1:03:15.160
<v Speaker 1>it is also lonely because of the secondary trauma you

1:03:15.280 --> 1:03:18.200
<v Speaker 1>carry that no one else can quite understand unless you

1:03:18.320 --> 1:03:23.360
<v Speaker 1>are a mental health professional. There's more of the email.

1:03:23.480 --> 1:03:27.960
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, interesting that you can be like a freelance.

1:03:28.080 --> 1:03:30.280
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know you could be like a freelance therapist.

1:03:30.760 --> 1:03:32.720
<v Speaker 1>I think that is what has drawn me to the podcast.

1:03:33.080 --> 1:03:35.080
<v Speaker 1>As a therapist, you're supposed to lead people to their

1:03:35.120 --> 1:03:38.600
<v Speaker 1>own conclusions, not offer them advice or tell them straight

1:03:38.760 --> 1:03:41.880
<v Speaker 1>up that they are being an ass or who you

1:03:42.040 --> 1:03:45.840
<v Speaker 1>think in their life is an ass. This podcast feels

1:03:45.880 --> 1:03:48.000
<v Speaker 1>like an outlet for me after a hard day. I

1:03:48.040 --> 1:03:50.440
<v Speaker 1>don't have the pressure of the person in front of me.

1:03:50.800 --> 1:03:52.880
<v Speaker 1>You can say what you actually think without the license,

1:03:53.160 --> 1:03:55.920
<v Speaker 1>and sometimes the people the problems people talk about on

1:03:56.040 --> 1:03:58.400
<v Speaker 1>here feel very relatable to what I'm currently going through.

1:03:58.760 --> 1:04:00.600
<v Speaker 1>It is nice to take a break think about problems

1:04:00.640 --> 1:04:04.040
<v Speaker 1>that aren't completely related to children being abused or experiencing

1:04:04.160 --> 1:04:07.880
<v Speaker 1>suicidal ideation. I think you're doing a great job offering advice,

1:04:07.920 --> 1:04:11.600
<v Speaker 1>support and comedic relief. Thanks get K. I appreciate you, k.

1:04:13.720 --> 1:04:13.760
<v Speaker 2>I.

1:04:13.960 --> 1:04:15.479
<v Speaker 1>I you know what, Kay, I have to be honest.

1:04:15.480 --> 1:04:19.400
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate you, but I have to I truly you

1:04:19.480 --> 1:04:21.440
<v Speaker 1>know it's funny. I appreciate you. There's a lot of

1:04:21.600 --> 1:04:23.520
<v Speaker 1>real therapists who have told me that they listen to

1:04:23.600 --> 1:04:28.440
<v Speaker 1>the podcast. Although I can't imagine being a real therapist

1:04:28.480 --> 1:04:30.840
<v Speaker 1>and wanting to listen to this podcast, I really can't.

1:04:32.000 --> 1:04:34.160
<v Speaker 1>I really, if you're a real therapist out there and

1:04:34.200 --> 1:04:36.440
<v Speaker 1>you listen to the podcast, I want you to know

1:04:36.560 --> 1:04:39.760
<v Speaker 1>I deeply appreciate you listening to the podcast, but just

1:04:39.840 --> 1:04:42.000
<v Speaker 1>for a personal level, I can't imagine, like if you're

1:04:42.040 --> 1:04:45.120
<v Speaker 1>like listening to folks' problems all day and then you

1:04:45.200 --> 1:04:48.680
<v Speaker 1>want to come home and do it more. I guess

1:04:48.720 --> 1:04:50.520
<v Speaker 1>it makes sense the way the way that you're talking

1:04:50.560 --> 1:04:55.120
<v Speaker 1>about it, Kay, is it makes sense being like, oh fuck,

1:04:55.160 --> 1:04:57.640
<v Speaker 1>I keep hearing all these people's problems and like, you know, yeah,

1:04:57.720 --> 1:04:59.400
<v Speaker 1>you have you like I mean, I'm just like some

1:04:59.520 --> 1:05:03.320
<v Speaker 1>fucking ass so I can just like kind of say whatever.

1:05:03.320 --> 1:05:05.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't have a license to do this, So I

1:05:05.680 --> 1:05:09.560
<v Speaker 1>guess it makes sense if people are talking about their problems,

1:05:09.680 --> 1:05:12.200
<v Speaker 1>and then it makes sense they would be cathartic to

1:05:12.240 --> 1:05:15.160
<v Speaker 1>hear somebody who doesn't have to abide by any like

1:05:15.320 --> 1:05:22.040
<v Speaker 1>actual medical rules give their feedback. So that make that

1:05:22.120 --> 1:05:24.320
<v Speaker 1>makes sense. I appreciate you listening, Kay. I'm sorry that

1:05:24.400 --> 1:05:26.000
<v Speaker 1>they made you have to do a fucking uh.

1:05:27.720 --> 1:05:27.840
<v Speaker 2>Uh.

1:05:28.240 --> 1:05:29.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. So I don't know. Honestly, doing a

1:05:30.080 --> 1:05:34.400
<v Speaker 1>therapy session in a janitor's closet sounds like there would

1:05:34.440 --> 1:05:36.400
<v Speaker 1>be something like there would be something so funny to

1:05:36.480 --> 1:05:38.280
<v Speaker 1>me if I was a kid and I had to

1:05:38.960 --> 1:05:41.960
<v Speaker 1>sit with a therapist in a janitor's closet and do

1:05:42.080 --> 1:05:44.880
<v Speaker 1>a session like I would be amused by that that

1:05:45.000 --> 1:05:48.840
<v Speaker 1>it would it would solve whatever whatever issue I had.

1:05:50.440 --> 1:05:56.800
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I could fidget with a broom. I don't know.

1:05:57.760 --> 1:05:59.640
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for your services or I always appreciate the

1:05:59.680 --> 1:06:02.000
<v Speaker 1>real thing therapists that talk to me or call into

1:06:02.080 --> 1:06:04.880
<v Speaker 1>this show they're doing. They're doing actual, real ass work,

1:06:05.040 --> 1:06:08.840
<v Speaker 1>so I appreciate I appreciate them. Thank you. Kay, she

1:06:08.960 --> 1:06:11.480
<v Speaker 1>was doing more? What more do we have? Do we

1:06:11.560 --> 1:06:16.920
<v Speaker 1>have any more? One? Sec Let me see if I

1:06:16.920 --> 1:06:18.440
<v Speaker 1>can find a quick one.

1:06:19.800 --> 1:06:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Here.

1:06:33.600 --> 1:06:36.160
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I've answered this question before, I'll do it again.

1:06:36.680 --> 1:06:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Important clarification. This is from Eddie. Eddie says, hello, what

1:06:42.160 --> 1:06:46.120
<v Speaker 1>species of gecko are you? Thanks Eddie? What species of

1:06:46.160 --> 1:06:52.880
<v Speaker 1>gecko am I? I'm a therapy gecko. I think officially though,

1:06:52.880 --> 1:06:55.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm a day gecko because I'm the same kind of

1:06:55.280 --> 1:06:57.400
<v Speaker 1>gecko as the Guico gecko, and he's the day gecko.

1:06:58.840 --> 1:07:01.720
<v Speaker 1>But I do not sell caring insurance. A lot of

1:07:01.760 --> 1:07:05.560
<v Speaker 1>people ask me that, and it was funny. It wasn't

1:07:05.720 --> 1:07:09.080
<v Speaker 1>actually even funny the first time. It wasn't fun of

1:07:09.120 --> 1:07:11.160
<v Speaker 1>the first time. But you know, it's annoying to me.

1:07:11.480 --> 1:07:15.880
<v Speaker 1>I get annoyed at myself for getting annoyed when people

1:07:16.000 --> 1:07:19.600
<v Speaker 1>ask me if I sell car insurance, because because you

1:07:19.840 --> 1:07:24.440
<v Speaker 1>can't dress up like a gecko and walk around and

1:07:24.640 --> 1:07:28.040
<v Speaker 1>expect people to not ask you if you sell car insurance.

1:07:28.520 --> 1:07:30.840
<v Speaker 1>Like he's just the guy, you know what I mean,

1:07:31.800 --> 1:07:34.640
<v Speaker 1>Like he's the fucking guy. I don't come anywhere close.

1:07:35.080 --> 1:07:38.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm not even like the third or fourth most popular

1:07:38.200 --> 1:07:42.439
<v Speaker 1>gecko in pop culture. He's the most popular anthropomorphic gecko

1:07:42.720 --> 1:07:46.480
<v Speaker 1>in the world, not even close to anyone else. So

1:07:46.680 --> 1:07:50.000
<v Speaker 1>you can't reasonably expect to be able to walk around

1:07:50.040 --> 1:07:51.800
<v Speaker 1>in a gecko costume and not have people ask you

1:07:51.840 --> 1:07:54.520
<v Speaker 1>if you sell car insurance. So when that happens to

1:07:54.600 --> 1:07:56.680
<v Speaker 1>me and I get annoyed, I get double annoyed because

1:07:56.680 --> 1:08:00.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I have no business being annoyed by this

1:08:00.360 --> 1:08:04.280
<v Speaker 1>thing that I signed up. I signed up to have

1:08:04.400 --> 1:08:06.920
<v Speaker 1>people ask me if I sell car insurance, So I

1:08:06.960 --> 1:08:11.600
<v Speaker 1>don't mind. Okay, anyway, folks, thank you very much for listening.

1:08:12.000 --> 1:08:14.680
<v Speaker 1>Before we go, I want to remind everyone that I

1:08:14.880 --> 1:08:21.680
<v Speaker 1>am releasing bonus episodes of this podcast over on Patreon

1:08:21.880 --> 1:08:27.360
<v Speaker 1>dot com slash lyle forever. You can also find the

1:08:27.439 --> 1:08:30.920
<v Speaker 1>link in the episode description that's bonus episodes. I put

1:08:30.960 --> 1:08:33.439
<v Speaker 1>out two bonus episodes a month, and you can also

1:08:33.560 --> 1:08:37.360
<v Speaker 1>get access to a Spotify feed. What you do is

1:08:37.439 --> 1:08:42.000
<v Speaker 1>you link your Patreon with your Spotify page and you

1:08:42.080 --> 1:08:45.160
<v Speaker 1>can get access to every episode of the Therapy Get

1:08:45.200 --> 1:08:50.360
<v Speaker 1>Goo podcast ad free. Yes, that's right, no more ads

1:08:50.479 --> 1:08:54.560
<v Speaker 1>interrupting the podcast. For just six dollars a month. You

1:08:54.680 --> 1:08:57.760
<v Speaker 1>get two bonus episodes a month. And I also have

1:08:57.960 --> 1:09:00.760
<v Speaker 1>up there you know, as you guys know, I went

1:09:00.920 --> 1:09:04.360
<v Speaker 1>to Tijuana, I went to the gathering of the Juggalos,

1:09:04.400 --> 1:09:08.040
<v Speaker 1>I went to Iraq. I'm posting my video soon from

1:09:08.240 --> 1:09:11.839
<v Speaker 1>Ukraine and all of those travel videos. I have bonus,

1:09:12.479 --> 1:09:15.120
<v Speaker 1>tons and tons and tons of bonus content from those

1:09:15.240 --> 1:09:20.080
<v Speaker 1>travel videos also on that Patreon Patreon dot com, slash

1:09:20.240 --> 1:09:25.240
<v Speaker 1>lyle forever. And if you were previously subscribed to Supercast,

1:09:25.320 --> 1:09:27.840
<v Speaker 1>if you were listening to the bonus episodes on Supercast,

1:09:29.280 --> 1:09:32.720
<v Speaker 1>you are entitled. You can check your email. You are

1:09:32.920 --> 1:09:37.600
<v Speaker 1>entitled to a free month of Patreon. I am no

1:09:37.800 --> 1:09:41.719
<v Speaker 1>longer on Supercast. I am doing all of my bonus

1:09:41.840 --> 1:09:45.920
<v Speaker 1>content on Patreon right now, Patreon dot com, slash Lyle forever,

1:09:46.400 --> 1:09:50.000
<v Speaker 1>And if you are a current Supercast subscriber, you get

1:09:50.880 --> 1:09:55.160
<v Speaker 1>one month free and it's the same stuff that you

1:09:55.240 --> 1:09:57.759
<v Speaker 1>were getting on the Supercast, except now there's more because

1:09:57.760 --> 1:10:01.360
<v Speaker 1>it's basically a combination of the bone bonus episodes and

1:10:01.880 --> 1:10:07.760
<v Speaker 1>the ad free stuff and the bonus documentary stuff. Here

1:10:08.080 --> 1:10:10.479
<v Speaker 1>we have, we are are We just released a bonus

1:10:10.560 --> 1:10:16.400
<v Speaker 1>episode today this morning. Here's a little preview of today's

1:10:16.800 --> 1:10:17.679
<v Speaker 1>bonus episode.

1:10:19.720 --> 1:10:22.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, me and my boyfriend whose name is

1:10:22.680 --> 1:10:23.280
<v Speaker 2>also Owen.

1:10:24.360 --> 1:10:27.120
<v Speaker 1>Wait you're dating a dude who's also named Owen. Yeah,

1:10:28.400 --> 1:10:31.320
<v Speaker 1>that's so funny. That's a very uh call me by

1:10:31.400 --> 1:10:34.200
<v Speaker 1>your name relationship you got going on there.

1:10:34.479 --> 1:10:36.400
<v Speaker 2>So your little tam I I won't get too TM.

1:10:36.560 --> 1:10:39.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm your this your gag man, that's what this is.

1:10:40.120 --> 1:10:45.080
<v Speaker 2>That's that's you know, go ahead, man, the question has

1:10:45.160 --> 1:10:49.439
<v Speaker 2>been posed before, you know. Is it weird calling out

1:10:49.479 --> 1:10:51.479
<v Speaker 2>your own name during sex? Mm? Hmm?

1:10:52.680 --> 1:10:52.800
<v Speaker 1>Is it?

1:10:52.960 --> 1:10:54.320
<v Speaker 2>And I it?

1:10:56.640 --> 1:10:56.920
<v Speaker 1>Dean?

1:10:57.479 --> 1:10:58.160
<v Speaker 2>Hey are you doing?

1:10:58.720 --> 1:11:00.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing good man? How are you? What'd you want

1:11:00.400 --> 1:11:01.040
<v Speaker 1>to talk about today?

1:11:02.320 --> 1:11:06.000
<v Speaker 2>Nothing much. I'm actually currently on vacation with my ex.

1:11:06.120 --> 1:11:10.880
<v Speaker 1>Right now, you're on vacation with your ex. Yeah, okay,

1:11:10.920 --> 1:11:12.000
<v Speaker 1>and why is she your X.

1:11:12.920 --> 1:11:17.120
<v Speaker 3>It was just a lot of arguing all the time.

1:11:18.240 --> 1:11:20.160
<v Speaker 3>I wasn't I'm not going to say I was the best.

1:11:21.360 --> 1:11:26.360
<v Speaker 3>But we planned this vacation a while ago and we

1:11:26.439 --> 1:11:31.800
<v Speaker 3>were debating on still coming or not. But we thought

1:11:31.840 --> 1:11:33.520
<v Speaker 3>it would be a good idea.

1:11:33.400 --> 1:11:36.600
<v Speaker 2>To come on this trip and just kind of like

1:11:36.680 --> 1:11:39.800
<v Speaker 2>have a one last like little like trying to hang out, you.

1:11:39.800 --> 1:11:46.200
<v Speaker 1>Know, to hear that full call and a whole brand

1:11:46.280 --> 1:11:51.080
<v Speaker 1>new hour of fresh podcast, a fresh podcast that's not

1:11:51.160 --> 1:11:54.000
<v Speaker 1>available on the public feed. Please go to patreon dot

1:11:54.080 --> 1:11:59.240
<v Speaker 1>com slash Lyle forever to become a member. Today. This

1:11:59.400 --> 1:12:02.599
<v Speaker 1>has been the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thank you all for listening.

1:12:02.680 --> 1:12:06.200
<v Speaker 1>I am Lyle ghak bless you all for billions of

1:12:06.320 --> 1:12:10.200
<v Speaker 1>years and then billions of years after that, and uh

1:12:10.600 --> 1:12:12.599
<v Speaker 1>that's it. Thank you guys. Have a good one bye

1:12:12.640 --> 1:12:16.280
<v Speaker 1>bye see you next episode, ghak bless see you guys.

1:12:16.280 --> 1:12:20.759
<v Speaker 1>Around the universe goes on the line taking your phone

1:12:20.800 --> 1:12:24.760
<v Speaker 1>calls every night. Deacon goes to ride. He's teaching you

1:12:24.840 --> 1:12:26.240
<v Speaker 1>aloud in the mind of your life.

1:12:26.640 --> 1:12:28.800
<v Speaker 2>Money's not really an expert