Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow from New York City,
Speaker 1: the only city in America gets the show and you
Speaker 1: news It's The Daily Show with your host John Michael
Speaker 1: Jamal Who what's up? What's up? Welcome to the Daily Show?
Speaker 1: Like was Zamog here in the house? Oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: my third night behind the desk and I've been getting
Speaker 1: some great feedback so far, I mean, mostly from my mom.
Speaker 1: So I asked her what she thought of the show
Speaker 1: last night, and she was like, I'm sorry but on
Speaker 1: me who I fell asleep after the Wheel of Fortune.
Speaker 1: But I'm sure you all grave me whole. And I was, but, yeah,
Speaker 1: we've got a great show for you tonight. Oh. So
Speaker 1: let's get into the headlines, all right. Let's kick things
Speaker 1: off with some sports. The NFL has announced that it
Speaker 1: will allow its players to put the number zero on
Speaker 1: their jersey's next season for the first time ever. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: the Jets announced that they'll put zero on the scoreboard
Speaker 1: for the fortieth season in a row. Hey, hey, no, seriously,
Speaker 1: I think this is a great way for football players
Speaker 1: to celebrate the amount of brain cells they'll have left
Speaker 1: when they retire. I know that's so, but it's true. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's move on to some international news overseas. The dutch
Speaker 1: Man is facing legal action for allegedly fathering at least
Speaker 1: five hundred and fifty children. The forty one year old
Speaker 1: is a sperm donor. He's accused, though, of lying about
Speaker 1: the number of kids he's fathered through sperm banks, violating
Speaker 1: agreements limits are placed on donors to protect children's health.
Speaker 1: It's unclear what legal ramifications he could face. Holy shit,
Speaker 1: come on, he donated enough sperm for five hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty kids. God damn dude, say something for the shower, bro.
Speaker 1: What But in this guy's defense, when you're this cool,
Speaker 1: you have an obligation to procreate. I mean, who want
Speaker 1: to get knocked up by this sperm? But still, though,
Speaker 1: this is going to make for some awkward conversations, Mommy,
Speaker 1: what's my biological father like, honey? Or all about him?
Speaker 1: Is he loved to jack off? Good night, honey? All right,
Speaker 1: let's move out to Wisconsin because they're about to have
Speaker 1: an election for the state Supreme Court that's hugely important
Speaker 1: and not just for their but for the whole goddamn country.
Speaker 1: And it's a little complicated to explain why in a
Speaker 1: short time. But fortunately I'm a Latino New Yorker and
Speaker 1: I can talk very fast, all right. I know you're wivery,
Speaker 1: I know you revery all right. All right, So let
Speaker 1: me break it down for you in my new segment
Speaker 1: A New York Minute hit the clock. Okay, here's what's
Speaker 1: at State one. Abortion what Roy versus Wade was overturned?
Speaker 1: Wisconsin automatically went back to strict anti abortion law from
Speaker 1: eighteen forty nine. That is so long ago. You know
Speaker 1: what the number one movie was in eighteen forty nine,
Speaker 1: not that they weren't invent then. Yet the liberal wins,
Speaker 1: she can abort that law to gerrymandering. Republicans have permanently
Speaker 1: stolen the state legislature. A liberal judge can fix that. Shit.
Speaker 1: It's more technical than that, but I don't have the
Speaker 1: time to explain. At three, Donald Trump ship TuS both Okay,
Speaker 1: And finally, let's move on to the major news about
Speaker 1: the arrest of Donald Trump, which is that Trump still
Speaker 1: has not been arrested. But don't worry, because there's still
Speaker 1: fifty other investigations going on into Trump, and one of
Speaker 1: them is about to feature a surprise witness in a
Speaker 1: major ruling of federal judge has ordered former Vice President
Speaker 1: Mike penns to testify before a grand jury about former
Speaker 1: President Trump. Pens has been ordered to give testimony in
Speaker 1: the Special Council investigation of Trump's attempts to overturn the
Speaker 1: twenty twenty presidential election. The judgal private exchanges between Trump
Speaker 1: and Pence are not off limits. Prosecutors are focused on
Speaker 1: conversations the two men had on January six and also
Speaker 1: in the days leading up to the capital attack. The
Speaker 1: conversations before January six, when Donald Trump and Mike Pence
Speaker 1: were on the phone one on one and Donald Trump
Speaker 1: apparently was rating him, calling him names, that sort of thing.
Speaker 1: In this criminal investigation, he is going to have to
Speaker 1: share that. Oh, come on, man, don't make Pence say
Speaker 1: all the names that Trump called him. Yo, that could
Speaker 1: take weeks. These jury members have families to go home too.
Speaker 1: Although as a viewer it's something I'd like to see. Actually,
Speaker 1: President Trump brought me into his office and called me
Speaker 1: a little mashed potato boy, a jerk call for Jesus,
Speaker 1: a silver haired baby bitch. He called me the white
Speaker 1: Mitt Romney. I don't even know what that means, he said,
Speaker 1: if I didn't overturn the election, he would I mean,
Speaker 1: how would I put this? Make love to me in
Speaker 1: the hole where the poop? Who comes out? Now for
Speaker 1: more on this story, we go live to the courthouse
Speaker 1: and Roy would Junior? Yeah, Roy, what do you think
Speaker 1: about Penn's having to testify against Trump? I think this
Speaker 1: is about to be the whitest trial of all time.
Speaker 1: You got Mike Pinch, you got Donald Trump. It's about
Speaker 1: to be whiter than the Gwynefaltrol case. In that case
Speaker 1: got snow skin and Gwyni fal true. Roy, that's a
Speaker 1: good point. And it seems like Pens really doesn't want
Speaker 1: to testify. Of course he doesn't. Trump supporters are gonna
Speaker 1: try to kill him again, and and some of those
Speaker 1: supporters of women. So Mike Pence is double scared. According
Speaker 1: to his beliefs, if you get killed by a woman,
Speaker 1: you go to Superhal. You're to Superhal and they don't
Speaker 1: even give your bathroom breaks in Superhal. Yeah, it's almost
Speaker 1: like an Amazon warehouse. But but there's a way out
Speaker 1: for Mike Pence, there's a way out for Donald Trump.
Speaker 1: But neither one of them are gonna like it. If
Speaker 1: Pence doesn't want to testify against Trump, then Trump and
Speaker 1: Pence gotta get married. Way, but Mike Pence what wait
Speaker 1: wait wait wait wait what what? What? What are you
Speaker 1: talking about married? I'm talking about the lord job. You
Speaker 1: don't have to testify against your spouse. And I know
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. I watch all the law and orders,
Speaker 1: even the bad spinoffs. Okay, okay, but still, how can
Speaker 1: they be married? They hate each other. All married people
Speaker 1: hate each other. It's not like hating your spouse would
Speaker 1: be a big adjustment for Trump. Help Melanie would be
Speaker 1: so happy to Trump's getting married to Pens shit, walk
Speaker 1: them down the aisle herself? Who presents this band for marriage? Me?
Speaker 1: Due Milania? Who out there? Donald? And and also, let's
Speaker 1: just be real about this, John Trump and Pitts get married.
Speaker 1: They might just end up hitting it off. Maybe they
Speaker 1: fall in love, Maybe they adopt a child together. The
Speaker 1: kid grows up to be the whitest kid in history,
Speaker 1: a kid, a kid so white he can gentrify building
Speaker 1: just by touching it. I'm talking about talking about superwhite.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about a kids so white that he you
Speaker 1: don't even have to go to Coachella. He just summoned
Speaker 1: Coachella around him. He just right, right right, he's summoning Coachella.
Speaker 1: Come right, come on, bringing on, look, come on, come on, focus, focus,
Speaker 1: Please look brother, please sorry, I'm sorry, man, I'm it's
Speaker 1: just also white. Hold these white ass cases. Look, I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta, I gotta go, dog. I need to
Speaker 1: do something black to rebalance myself. I'll let you be. Hey,
Speaker 1: can somebody deny me a bank loan? How you doing so? Hey? Well?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Ry right? Would you or everybody? Go? All right?
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the balling floor. My dead Tonight is
Speaker 1: the queen of the New York underground, a rapper, songwriter,
Speaker 1: and actor, and her new EP is called I Love
Speaker 1: You But this is goodbye. Please welcome. There's no kio.
Speaker 1: He let it have reception. Oh, I love you where
Speaker 1: you are? Look at that? Yeah? Now you're you're a hype.
Speaker 1: You're a multi hyphenadi singer, actor, producer, director, voice. Oh
Speaker 1: but isn't the idea of being very successful to have
Speaker 1: to work less? Yes? I mean some would say it's
Speaker 1: working harder now smarter. I am a multi hyphenad. I've
Speaker 1: done so many things. Musician, actress, comedian, director, songwriter, and
Speaker 1: what drives that, what drives all that creativity, you know,
Speaker 1: the need to want to express myself taking boredom and
Speaker 1: you know they say, uh, bored idleness is the double playground. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I don't want ever want to be in the
Speaker 1: double's playground. I want to have fun. Yeah, and you do.
Speaker 1: And You're work is so powerful and I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: so inspired by you. And you chose your stage name
Speaker 1: Nokia because the telephone is so undestructible and you're indestructible,
Speaker 1: I would say, so it's a finished company. At the time,
Speaker 1: I was using Obama phones because you know, we was
Speaker 1: just that poor, so I couldn't call myself Princess Obama
Speaker 1: Phone and I just the same ring, No, I was.
Speaker 1: I was too young to having Okia, but um, I
Speaker 1: chose something with a futurist angle because I liked the
Speaker 1: idea of having something old and new and that, you know,
Speaker 1: Disney princesses all their moms are dead and my mom's dead,
Speaker 1: so I figured, well, let me add a little dead
Speaker 1: humor to that as well. I love the way you
Speaker 1: mix it all together. It's amazing. But both were both
Speaker 1: street kids, yes, you know, I went to a fresh
Speaker 1: air fund that survive the New York City public school system. Uh,
Speaker 1: how do you use your street streetness and your lens
Speaker 1: of the Latinida to do your storytelling? Oh? Well, I
Speaker 1: was really fortunate to grow up in an extremely vivid
Speaker 1: cultural upbringing. You know, being afrom Indigenous was what I
Speaker 1: was supposed to do. On the weekend when my girlfriend
Speaker 1: was playing double Dutch and hanging rope, I was at
Speaker 1: Powwells just like why, you know, Like I loved my upbringing.
Speaker 1: But it's funny because you know, there's so many interest
Speaker 1: intersections of my childhood. And there's the public school, you know,
Speaker 1: being in Jefferson Park with my friends, and then there
Speaker 1: was the times where I didn't connect with my friends,
Speaker 1: where I didn't get to have sneakers or you know,
Speaker 1: being wearing lip claws that I had to, you know,
Speaker 1: go to ceremonies or to go to the un today
Speaker 1: a performance, something of the sort. Um. But I think
Speaker 1: that you know, I'm very street, I'm very I'm very protective.
Speaker 1: You know. I was taught to fight with my words
Speaker 1: in my hands. Oh yeah, and and be vivacious and
Speaker 1: be protective. And I am protective of myself and my
Speaker 1: loved ones. Yeah, that comes out in your work. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm such a big fan of your work because you know,
Speaker 1: I feel like I see myself in you, you know,
Speaker 1: and it revitalizes me as as an older artist seeing
Speaker 1: like the young Latinas that have, you know, such self
Speaker 1: worth and strength and vivacity, not afraid of their power
Speaker 1: and strength. Yeah, I was selling John, I was telling
Speaker 1: I was selling to the crowd. Is the camera here here?
Speaker 1: I was telling John earlier that he's one of my
Speaker 1: biggest inspirations. Is him and Martin Lawrence that created my identity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you off the same height, we're both shortcas I'm there too,
Speaker 1: yea yeah yeah, um yeah. Like I watched freak sexoholic
Speaker 1: spick around a ghetto clown, like you watch that inappropriate crap?
Speaker 1: Come on, they allowed me to watch it. It was
Speaker 1: the it was our household thing is we we saw
Speaker 1: you and we saw ourselves. That's beautiful because thank you.
Speaker 1: I mean when I when I wrote my stuff, I
Speaker 1: wanted to write it for all the young Latino kids
Speaker 1: that weren't seeing themselves and that they felt them visible,
Speaker 1: and I wanted them to feel like I saw them
Speaker 1: you know. That's why I wrote it. Now you got
Speaker 1: your new EP coming out right, it's a radio that's okay,
Speaker 1: everything is misinformed, but this is about love, right this
Speaker 1: How many rumors have you heard about? But it is
Speaker 1: about love though. This is the first time you're talking
Speaker 1: about love. You you've never been this vulnerable before. No,
Speaker 1: right now, Um, it was it was the time, it
Speaker 1: was I was speaking. I always speak from my heart.
Speaker 1: I always speak from a personal experience. You know. Uh,
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety two covers my my life as a child
Speaker 1: growing up and all the intersections of my life from
Speaker 1: childhood to adult. You know, girl, kay read is about
Speaker 1: my love and rock music. Everything is beautiful. It is
Speaker 1: a neo soul jazz um album with R and B.
Speaker 1: Everything Sucks kind of had like a ICP effect to it.
Speaker 1: It was a little bit more fun in this. I
Speaker 1: stripped it down. I wanted to sing. I would say
Speaker 1: when I m C, I'm happy, and when I sing,
Speaker 1: I'm sad. Like when I got the blues, I sing
Speaker 1: so I had the blues and I was going to
Speaker 1: get married and that dress and I didn't And um,
Speaker 1: I like using No, it's okay that this is it's okay,
Speaker 1: Like I'm a young woman, and I said this to
Speaker 1: Billboard and the Insider. I said, everyone is so used
Speaker 1: to me being the rap or the strong woman, that
Speaker 1: the soup thrower, you know, um, the voice of a generation,
Speaker 1: but no one has ever heard me or and I've
Speaker 1: never allowed myself to be that. I don't talk about
Speaker 1: my personal life online, so no one would know who
Speaker 1: I'm dating. No one knows who I'm talking about. It's
Speaker 1: no one I've ever posted publicly, so someone could have
Speaker 1: an idea, and they completely have no idea what's going on.
Speaker 1: So I put all of these intricate things about a
Speaker 1: failed relationship, but the takeaway of the project is really
Speaker 1: that that person was intern excuse me. That person allowed
Speaker 1: me to feel love. They allowed me to feel a
Speaker 1: little something, you know, I hadn't felt. I hadn't dated
Speaker 1: in like five years, and like I think that, like
Speaker 1: I just you know, hooked up with my child's sweetheart
Speaker 1: and we had a love tunnel and it was fabulous,
Speaker 1: and then it was hot and saucy and sexy and
Speaker 1: and then scary and I've been scary, and then we
Speaker 1: were gonna get married and it was gonna be amazing,
Speaker 1: and then I left because it didn't serve me and
Speaker 1: I serve my hot purpose. And I spoke to God
Speaker 1: and God said, get your guys out there, and I said, okay.
Speaker 1: And but I tell him he's listened to the music,
Speaker 1: he loves the project. He was still good friends. You know,
Speaker 1: we were a part. I know. I want to go
Speaker 1: back to that soup thing. What happened, Well, what happened
Speaker 1: that public lamps are kid, I'm not kidding. I don't
Speaker 1: know if y'all know what happened. Well, she's gonna tell
Speaker 1: you now. And I've spoken about it publicly because um
Speaker 1: I public attention gives me nervous. And I was on
Speaker 1: the front of the metro or in the metro and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, my name is like
Speaker 1: in the paper. It went viral. That video went viral.
Speaker 1: I still don't realize. I realize that I'm a person
Speaker 1: of interest. Like for me, I'm just destiny in somebody's face.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be advent to a lot of people. This
Speaker 1: is what happened. This is from this is the mouth.
Speaker 1: Um before that man started saying slurs. A group of
Speaker 1: young men who were like on a basketball team, black
Speaker 1: and Latino brothers, and I remember thinking, wow, look at
Speaker 1: kids getting air, being outside, being healthy, playing sports. That's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. You look. Oh, oh my people, look
Speaker 1: at Oh look at young man being a gentleman. Okay.
Speaker 1: And this man came on to the train and he
Speaker 1: bumped them purposely, and that was the first thing I've
Speaker 1: seen I've seen an adult bump a chow and I
Speaker 1: thought that was very weird. And then when they got off,
Speaker 1: he drunkenly just said these and words, and I got
Speaker 1: up and I said, how dare you? And I just
Speaker 1: sucked him in the eye and he called me so
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say that. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: say that. I said it on Twitter once, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to say that to publications in case he
Speaker 1: tried to sue me. But um, you know, I was like, man, yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's actually what happened. There was a whole discourse
Speaker 1: before the soup. The soup is what happens very last,
Speaker 1: what I says, You're not about to talk about black
Speaker 1: people like that, not in my face. I would never
Speaker 1: like xenophobia and and anti blackness. That makes my skin crawl.
Speaker 1: I'm like that. You can't stay quiet because if you
Speaker 1: stay quiet, then you're you're you're kind of guilty. Well,
Speaker 1: people stay quiet because people are crazy. You don't know
Speaker 1: what they're capable of. He could have punched me back,
Speaker 1: he could have slapped me, he could have spitn me,
Speaker 1: and I have been punched back before standing enough for myself.
Speaker 1: I got really lucky. Um. Then he started hurling racial
Speaker 1: slurs at me. And when I said what I said,
Speaker 1: I said to him very distinctly, you don't ever talk
Speaker 1: about people like that. Don't ever fix your mouth to
Speaker 1: say something like that. A whole bunch of men came
Speaker 1: to my aid, and it was brothers and like people
Speaker 1: just it was like the train of New York just
Speaker 1: came behind my back and these two brothers they looked
Speaker 1: at me said we got you this. I said, okay,
Speaker 1: and then we and then everybody like white black polka
Speaker 1: dot red was like, you can't talk like that, that's
Speaker 1: not okay as white man, and it was white men going, dude,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? Are you sick? And love that?
Speaker 1: It was like I was a and it was so
Speaker 1: that it made me take it because we all collectively
Speaker 1: threw him off the train. It was done. You see
Speaker 1: the mom they're growing him. And I had just went
Speaker 1: to Panera Bread and got me a butternese squaw and
Speaker 1: I that was my thing. I used to get me
Speaker 1: a butternet squash soup and go to Brooklyn and you know,
Speaker 1: be a New Yorker and I was like, well, shit up,
Speaker 1: excuse me, I'm sorry, oh man from me. He'd done
Speaker 1: sever racial slurs, he done got in my face, he
Speaker 1: made a fool of himself. He about to get this
Speaker 1: soup too, So I just I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I've already punched him. I've already did that. That's all
Speaker 1: off camera. I remember I went to get my bag
Speaker 1: because I was like, oh my, got my bag and
Speaker 1: then I was like sup. And without even thinking about it,
Speaker 1: without didn't even thinking about it, it's in two seconds.
Speaker 1: I swear to god. It was from fourteen streets to
Speaker 1: the first stop of the L train. So you know
Speaker 1: that underground tunnels like extra three minutes yea, So it's
Speaker 1: like it felt like a long time, but it was
Speaker 1: just one train stop, and it was it was. It
Speaker 1: was wild and I stand behind that. You know. I
Speaker 1: was taught, um. I was taught to always if you
Speaker 1: are about something, be about something. And I would never
Speaker 1: strike my brother sister unless they, you know, provoke me first.
Speaker 1: But when it comes to defending blackness, I'm or you
Speaker 1: know Latin that being in anything. You know that I
Speaker 1: am everybody's vulnerable. Yeah, absolutely, And we were just at
Speaker 1: a point in the time, like in society where that
Speaker 1: rhetoric was just so you know, and I I caught
Speaker 1: that man in his face because you got it like
Speaker 1: that you got she's she's a poetess, a singer, sensitive
Speaker 1: and she can knock you out. I mean, the other
Speaker 1: perfect woman. I'm pretty frail, but I would like to
Speaker 1: think that I can always you know, if a friend
Speaker 1: is in need, I can help. Well I'm a friend
Speaker 1: in need. If you ever need me, I got you back.
Speaker 1: I love you, Thank you for coming. I love you.
Speaker 1: But this is the guys available. Now. Okay, we're gonna
Speaker 1: take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
Speaker 1: Well that's our sholf for to night it okay, before
Speaker 1: we go, please consider supporting a Fresh Air Fund. They
Speaker 1: provide free outdoor summer experiences to children from New York
Speaker 1: cities underserved communities, and I was one of them. They
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