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Speaker 1: Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm super excited for today's show. I've been meaning, I've

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Speaker 1: been wanting to talk to her for meaning and wanting

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Speaker 1: to talk to her for a couple of years now

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Speaker 1: because I followed her journey when her husband Nick was

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Speaker 1: dying of COVID. We have Amanda Clutes coming on the

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Speaker 1: show today, Girls, and she was since on Dancing with

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Speaker 1: the Stars. I followed her journey on there and then

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Speaker 1: she was also she's now a co host of the Talk.

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Speaker 1: But she she's also friends with Caitlin and Kelly. I

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Speaker 1: was going to say she's good friends with Kelly Rizzo

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Speaker 1: Sagett yep, m hm um. But I'm yeah, I'm pumped

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Speaker 1: to get her on because I cannot even imagine, Like,

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Speaker 1: I just can't even imagine. She has a little boy,

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Speaker 1: a little boy in Melvis and he was like one

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Speaker 1: more yeah, almost, I cannot imagine, I know, but she's

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Speaker 1: a very inspiring human. Yeah, I'm excited to just kind

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Speaker 1: of hear where she's at and how she's doing and

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Speaker 1: checking with her. So she's in the waiting room and

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Speaker 1: let's get on. Hi guy, god him, I have been

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Speaker 1: so looking forward to just meeting you. I'm Janna. This

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Speaker 1: is Catherine mother Burnett, and then there's Kristin over there.

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Speaker 1: So we actually have mutual friends Caitlin Crosby and Kelly

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Speaker 1: Saget or Kelly Rizzo. Yeah, and uh we I went

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Speaker 1: to dinner with them a couple of months ago and

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Speaker 1: they were just talking about you, and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: my heart, I was just like, you just seem like

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Speaker 1: I watched your journey obviously from the beginning of um

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Speaker 1: oh man, probably what a year and a half ago. Um,

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Speaker 1: even before that when you were dancing with stars, and

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Speaker 1: it was just You're just so inspirational and I'm just

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine everything that you've been through. But thank

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Speaker 1: you for just being a light for so many people.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, You're You're so kind. Thank thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's really nice for me to say, we gotta all

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Speaker 1: go today. I know we do, we do. And then, um,

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Speaker 1: how are you like, because you're on the talk right now? Right?

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Speaker 1: Uh yes, I mean not right now, but um, I'm

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Speaker 1: at my talk dressing room, but we finished for the day.

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Speaker 1: I love it. So was that something where you was

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Speaker 1: that something you kind of always wanted to do? Or

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Speaker 1: was it just something that kind of no, no, it

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Speaker 1: just they called me and said, would you want to

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Speaker 1: guess co host? And I was like, of course, yeah

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Speaker 1: and yeah, and there it happened. I do have a

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Speaker 1: question for you, Um I So I was at a

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Speaker 1: convention or yeah, for this TV show that I used

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Speaker 1: to be on, and I was talking to Hillary Burton

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Speaker 1: and the actress that was on One Tree Hill. And

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's and I don't know if you experiences and

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Speaker 1: I'm curious like how you kind of deal with it,

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Speaker 1: But like people come up to me and they know

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Speaker 1: my story. They know, you know, the infidelity with my

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Speaker 1: acts and um, you know, the single mom and all

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Speaker 1: those things, and they're like, I'm you know, I'm so sorry,

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Speaker 1: or or it's like my story and it's like, um,

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Speaker 1: and I almost like I have to like relive it

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Speaker 1: every time that like it. It's like and I'm so

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Speaker 1: appreciative that like the story helps them and that and

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Speaker 1: I love, you know, I love the fact that it

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Speaker 1: helps other people. But at the same time, sometimes I'm

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Speaker 1: like it brings me right back to like, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I can't even imagine to your magnitude being like,

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Speaker 1: you know, someone who has lost their lost their husband

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Speaker 1: or wife, and it's just like to have to like

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Speaker 1: re feel that, like I'm curious like what you do

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Speaker 1: and like how you handle all that. Yeah, no, it's

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Speaker 1: it's so funny. I just said this to somebody the

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Speaker 1: other day and I don't know, I can't remember who

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Speaker 1: they were, why, but they Oh I was at like, uh,

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Speaker 1: this is a perfect example. I'm not like an event,

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Speaker 1: like a fun evening event with my girlfriend and this

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Speaker 1: gentleman comes over and he just like yes, starts doing

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Speaker 1: exactly what you just did, and and and you're just

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Speaker 1: you're you're just like so caught off guard. And also

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Speaker 1: you're like at this event, you know, trying to have

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Speaker 1: a good time, not that it stops you from having

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Speaker 1: a good time. But then also sometimes like what happened

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Speaker 1: to me something like sometimes I don't it doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: like it happened in a weird way, like it was

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Speaker 1: like that time of our world was so weird and

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Speaker 1: crazy that sometimes like when when people do to me

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Speaker 1: and and and it's so wonderful, it's just honestly like

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Speaker 1: sometimes it takes me to be like I don't even

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Speaker 1: like I don't even know what I did like, I

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Speaker 1: don't even remember that. Obviously I remember that time. It

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Speaker 1: just it all just feels so crazy. And then you're

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Speaker 1: also like at this holiday party and so you're just

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Speaker 1: kind of like, yeah, completely caught off guard and um

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Speaker 1: but and and you don't know really what to say.

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Speaker 1: But it's also very very kind and nice. And so

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Speaker 1: I I said to my girlfriend, I was like, sometimes

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Speaker 1: I just don't know what to say other than thank you.

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Speaker 1: And she was like, oh, you don't have to say

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Speaker 1: anything else, and I was like, I know, but something

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Speaker 1: like when they're really like giving you a full story, um,

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Speaker 1: you're just I don't know. It's just it feels so

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Speaker 1: um like I lived it. I know I lived it

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Speaker 1: and it happened, but it just always it's just so crazy.

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Speaker 1: You know. You look back on those like early COVID

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Speaker 1: days and it's just wild, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's wild, and it's wild that my husband's gone, and

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Speaker 1: you know, still some days I just feel like he's

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Speaker 1: just gonna walk around the door and he just was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, on a tour of a Broadway show, which

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Speaker 1: you know, and now he's home. You know, It's it's

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Speaker 1: just weird, you know. But yeah, I hear you, it's

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Speaker 1: like it's because I love Yeah, I love having people.

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Speaker 1: And again, way different scenario, but it's like I love

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Speaker 1: have when people come up to me and they say like, oh,

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Speaker 1: your story really helps me with mine, and I love

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Speaker 1: hearing that. But when it goes to like that, like

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'm just like I don't want to have to

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Speaker 1: go back to that feeling right in this moment. And

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Speaker 1: so it's like again like when you're at a party

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Speaker 1: or wherever, you're just like because it brings for me

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Speaker 1: like I'm I can't shut things off like that easy, right,

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Speaker 1: And then the segway of like after they after they

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Speaker 1: say that, and you say thank you that you know that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I said the other night, but

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Speaker 1: it might have been like you know something along the

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Speaker 1: lines of this is a really nice party to say,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, You're you're so like because

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Speaker 1: they've just like done this whole confession and you're feeling like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much that you're just like, well, you

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Speaker 1: do anything for Thanksgiving If you don't really know what

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Speaker 1: the person, it's like, well, and I thank you and

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Speaker 1: Jana from what I have seen of you and followed

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Speaker 1: of you, like you and Janna both are such connective

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Speaker 1: people that it's hard to just go like thank you

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Speaker 1: and that be enough for you. Like that's not your

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Speaker 1: hearts either. So what I do? I want to know

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Speaker 1: more and I want to be like okay, like and

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Speaker 1: like or help or help them somehow or you know,

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Speaker 1: like because again, like I share because I want to

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Speaker 1: help other people through the things that I went through.

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Speaker 1: But having said that, the double edged sword is having

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Speaker 1: to relive it sometimes when I don't want to have

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Speaker 1: to relieve it. Relive it in some moments. My grief

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Speaker 1: therapist calls it an ambush and she's like, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: and ambush feels accurate because it's like you're not expecting

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Speaker 1: to have that, But it does feel that way because

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Speaker 1: it takes you to a place that you know, when

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Speaker 1: you're seeing a therapy, you're ready to be ambushed. You're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I've got water tissues in a safe place. But you're

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Speaker 1: like eating an ord derven, you know, in a pretty gown,

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Speaker 1: and all of a sudden someone's like, I want to

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Speaker 1: thank you again. It's like yeah, okay, And the fog

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Speaker 1: of post grief, like the post loss, I should say

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Speaker 1: whenever post grief, but that fog is so real. It's

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Speaker 1: like I don't even know what I was doing and

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Speaker 1: what did I say? You know, it's like so much. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think one of the things too that really bugged

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Speaker 1: me about things that I again I hate reading things,

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Speaker 1: but when people do, when people, you know, when people

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Speaker 1: judge people, when how like the timeline of when someone

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Speaker 1: moves on, it's like to be under that microscope. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: of course she's with someone else, right, or she's moving

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Speaker 1: on so fast, and it's like, can you just let

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Speaker 1: someone be happy, whether they got divorced, whether someone you know.

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Speaker 1: I remember talking to another friend of ours and he

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Speaker 1: she's like, well, I probably has to be. It's like

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Speaker 1: there's no tip, there's no there's no has to be,

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Speaker 1: there's no it's like it's when you are ready. But

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Speaker 1: it's like you have to almost factor in or the

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Speaker 1: other the people's opinions, and I'm like, I hate that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, no, Jenne, when that happened to me,

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Speaker 1: awful for you, I almost reached out to be like girl,

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Speaker 1: just let love it, like just you're like love. Well,

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Speaker 1: what's so funny is that it was so disturbing these

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Speaker 1: judgments that were coming my way that that's why I

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Speaker 1: was just like, you know, I'm just the type of

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Speaker 1: person that, like, I can shut a lot off, but

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Speaker 1: like when you're so wrong about something that I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh no, no no, no, the come in. Yeah. So then

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Speaker 1: I got on live with a fellow widow, a man,

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Speaker 1: because I knew that that would be a strong voice

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Speaker 1: to have. So we had me and I had him

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Speaker 1: and I talking live about dating after death, and oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it was so rewarding. I shut all those

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Speaker 1: people so fast. I was like, tell me about your

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Speaker 1: first date back. Was it hot and sexy or really?

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Speaker 1: Like me crying the whole way there and crying the

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Speaker 1: whole way home. Also deciding what to do with your

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Speaker 1: wedding ring because you didn't know if you should have

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Speaker 1: it on or take it off. If you have it on,

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Speaker 1: it feels like you're cheating. If you take it off,

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Speaker 1: it feels like you're not being you. And we had

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Speaker 1: this whole real conversation. It was so wonderful, and right

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Speaker 1: after that, so many people shut up. I never even

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Speaker 1: gotta hate for you. You were so you know, how

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Speaker 1: dare you sit on your couch and judge anybody for

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Speaker 1: any you know thing. You don't know what it's like,

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Speaker 1: it's just terrible. How's how's your babes? The best? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god? How three and a half. I'm so obsessed

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Speaker 1: with him right now. We're just like this little team

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Speaker 1: and I just yeah, he's just the greatest. It's like becoming.

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Speaker 1: He's always been fun, but like the way he talks now,

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Speaker 1: like we can like go out to dinner together and

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Speaker 1: like go on a weekend get away together and he

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Speaker 1: like can do his own thing and I could be

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Speaker 1: doing my thing and then you know, it's just I

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Speaker 1: don't know, he's so fun. I love him so much.

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Speaker 1: I love that. What do you what do you do

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Speaker 1: when the moments of sadness come in? Like how do

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Speaker 1: you deal with or handle the grief? And like what's

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Speaker 1: something that like for those that are listening that struggle

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Speaker 1: with loss and um and how to just kind of

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Speaker 1: maybe not like get back up, but just like just

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Speaker 1: kind of go throughout their day. Yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 1: would say right now it happens still a lot, but

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Speaker 1: it's just like this weird rain, you know, like you

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Speaker 1: know when um, if you're in Florida, and it's like

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Speaker 1: we'll literally like rain for like five minutes and then

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Speaker 1: go back to a sunny day. That's like how it feels.

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Speaker 1: It's like something something happens, or something doesn't even need

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Speaker 1: to happen, but some trigger comes over you. You feel

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Speaker 1: sad and it feels like that rain for two minutes

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Speaker 1: and then it's gone, but but it still happens. So

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I would say what I do, what

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Speaker 1: I've always done, is I just let myself feel it.

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Speaker 1: I don't try to push it down or away. If

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry, I'm a crier. I will cry. And

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Speaker 1: if it's welcome to our show, there's always a cry

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Speaker 1: one show, like it'll just you know, and it's weird

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Speaker 1: because It'll be like that two second cry and then

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Speaker 1: I'll like wipe my eyes and I'll keep going. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, that's kind of how it comes

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Speaker 1: right now. Once in a blue moon still I'll have

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Speaker 1: like a good like really good into the pillow cry um,

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Speaker 1: but those are few and far between, I think, although

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Speaker 1: I will have to say, like Elvis is starting to

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Speaker 1: ask questions about Dad, and when that started happening, that

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Speaker 1: was guys, I like you know, um, well, listen, I

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Speaker 1: had no game plan for this, because I had no

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Speaker 1: idea when this was going to happen. But I was

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Speaker 1: getting him ready for bad and he said, I we

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Speaker 1: have this pillow that is like this big and it's

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Speaker 1: um nick in a suit. I even forget who made

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Speaker 1: this for me, but I keep it by elvis is bed,

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Speaker 1: and when I change his diaper, I give it to

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Speaker 1: him and I tell him to tell data about your day.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, you're talking about school or something now

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Speaker 1: that I'm changing his diaper and he takes the pillow.

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Speaker 1: I wish I had a pillow, and he goes, I

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Speaker 1: love you so much. I wish you lived with us, guys.

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Speaker 1: I am unwell, I couldn't. I was like, oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: And then he said, you know why doesn't Dada live

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Speaker 1: with us? And I was like, okay, so here we go.

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Speaker 1: And I was just, um, you know, I feel like

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Speaker 1: right now, because he's three and a half, I'm very um,

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Speaker 1: honest and clear and no details. So I just say,

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Speaker 1: Dadda got sick. He went into the hospital and he died,

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Speaker 1: and he in heaven and he's around us always and

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Speaker 1: he's always watching you. And you could always talk to him.

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Speaker 1: That's but like the story I'm doing at the moment um,

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Speaker 1: but you know, little kids. He's like three and a half.

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Speaker 1: Like we'll be doing anything and he'll be like just

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Speaker 1: out of nowhere, like his dad has still died, and

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Speaker 1: I'll go his dad is still dead. You know, once

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Speaker 1: you die, you're always you're you're dead. You don't come

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Speaker 1: back on earth. But you know, I go into my

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Speaker 1: my He's always around us, spel and so you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just like those little things, you know. That's why

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Speaker 1: I mean, you said it before one Kristen or whoever

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Speaker 1: said it, but like you, it doesn't grief doesn't go

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Speaker 1: away because if it's not our children, it's something you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, like because we keep living and

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Speaker 1: every time we have an experience, you know, every time

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Speaker 1: like I have something exciting in my life and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I wish I could call Neck or tell Nick, you know,

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Speaker 1: or or you see always do something and you're like, ah,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it's it's like all

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Speaker 1: the is little layers and every time it's like an onion,

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Speaker 1: you peel off the layer and you start crying again,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I think to that too. It's like

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Speaker 1: it's okay because a lot of people will say like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, how are you not over it? Get over it?

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Speaker 1: Like that's what I get all the time. And my

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Speaker 1: message is like get over it stopped. It's like it's

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Speaker 1: healing is they say, like the healing is not linear

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Speaker 1: and like they're going to have moments, and it's like

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Speaker 1: for me, it's like, yeah, sometimes I'll still have moments

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Speaker 1: where I'm sad, but it's like cry and then okay,

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Speaker 1: move on. And it's like now staying stuck in it,

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Speaker 1: buried in your bed seven all day, like that's you know,

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Speaker 1: not great. Maybe for the first few months fine, but

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Speaker 1: then like after that, like you gotta you know, let's

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Speaker 1: start living for for you and your your babes. And

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Speaker 1: so I think I definitely you know, for people that

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Speaker 1: you know or listening and stuff. It's just it's okay

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Speaker 1: to have that. That's why, um I always referenced my

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Speaker 1: tattoo I have like a little and simple. I'm like

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Speaker 1: it's okay to be like healing and sad or healing

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Speaker 1: and heard, or like it's okay to like have both,

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Speaker 1: you know, I have to be like one or the other.

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Speaker 1: And I think too. That's where in the dating world especially,

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Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you don't have to be like,

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Speaker 1: You're never gonna be I'm never going to be fully

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Speaker 1: over the what happened. You're never going to be full.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're nick will be probably talked about many

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Speaker 1: times for the for forever, you know, even in the

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Speaker 1: next relationship. And that's you know something that whoever you

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Speaker 1: end up with needs to have a strong what is

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Speaker 1: that like? A strong uh? I need to be secure.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of things, you know, And I've I've asked, um,

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Speaker 1: are you dating right now? Or you don't know? Not

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Speaker 1: right now? I was, I was on a dating app

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Speaker 1: and ye can we just talk about how it does not?

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Speaker 1: I do not like that app. It's like I don't

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Speaker 1: want to meet anyone in like Portugal or Spain. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I live, I'm a mother, a single mother in Nashville.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to meet someone in my area. Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was that so many of your matches or people showing

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Speaker 1: to you every day. We're all over the world. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I get it, like the chances of me finding my

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Speaker 1: soul mate in the radius that I live. I get

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Speaker 1: that but also let me dating somebody in Portugal. It's

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Speaker 1: very U what made you get off? Because I came

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Speaker 1: back from filming this movie that I did, and it

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Speaker 1: was September, and I just was like, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna like go gungo on this. I'm gonna,

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Speaker 1: like really like anybody that asked me to go, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go. I'm gonna be proactive. I will, you know,

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Speaker 1: ask people out. I was literally you know, fitting in

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Speaker 1: coffees or teas or wines all all all times of day,

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Speaker 1: and um and meaning really nice people. I actually every

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Speaker 1: person I met was really nice, interesting, um no weird,

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Speaker 1: easy people, so really good. It's just that I don't

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Speaker 1: connect with a lot of people. I never have, like

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Speaker 1: i've I have not dated a lot. In fact, this

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Speaker 1: was the first time I'm like dating at four years old.

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Speaker 1: And um, I would just I would make all this

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Speaker 1: effort to go on these dates. I'd be leaving Elvis,

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Speaker 1: who would be like crying at the door. I'd be

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Speaker 1: walking away being like, why am I leaving my son

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Speaker 1: to go meet this person? I don't even know. I'm

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Speaker 1: stressed out now. I feel guilt. I feel like you know,

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Speaker 1: and then you walk in and I'm I hate to

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Speaker 1: say this, but I'm a type of person that can

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Speaker 1: just kind of tell immediately. And so it just started

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Speaker 1: to be super depressing and I was like filled with

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Speaker 1: like anxiety and and um, I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: Like I got to a point at the end of

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Speaker 1: September where I was like, I've really really tried. It's

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Speaker 1: been six months of this. Last month, I really really tried.

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Speaker 1: I think I just need to like take a break.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm, I'm this is not for me. So I

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Speaker 1: deleted that app. I got myself off the app, and

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Speaker 1: she's like, now I'm on tonight. I haven't been on

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Speaker 1: a date all of October and no, I'm so happy.

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Speaker 1: I'm like I love it. I love not having the stress,

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Speaker 1: and I feel totally fine about it right now. Actually,

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Speaker 1: like I'm I'm good. I you know, and I don't.

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Speaker 1: Plus you have Elvis, like I have a four year

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Speaker 1: old son. I'd rather date him any day. That Chase

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Speaker 1: gives me the best little kisses and I'm like he's like, yeah, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's all, It's all good right now. I'm I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: totally okay. I'm glad that I like really tried. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that I went gung ho. I've never done an

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Speaker 1: a dating app before. Um, it just wasn't for me,

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Speaker 1: so and I think, yeah, no, I think those apps

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Speaker 1: too though. It's like at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: you know, I hope that you know that you're never

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna be alone forever, like there will be

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Speaker 1: like you are. I also a sense from Amanda she's

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Speaker 1: kind of okay actually write but I think I think

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Speaker 1: they're coming off of like just like it's divorce or

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Speaker 1: or loss. I mean, I don't know what from. I

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Speaker 1: can't relate to that side. But it's like when I

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Speaker 1: got divorce, I was like, no one's ever gonna love me.

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Speaker 1: I'm not lovable, I'm blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: But then you go on some dates and you're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: like maybe I am like love and someone will love

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Speaker 1: me again. And now it's like I can relate to

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Speaker 1: where you're out. I'm kind of like I don't need it.

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Speaker 1: I'm good. I can be alone, and I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: liking a loneness right now and doing my own thing

379
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Speaker 1: because I know love will come and I won't be

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Speaker 1: alone forever. I don't so I don't like I don't

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Speaker 1: need it, like and it's like it'll come when it comes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And it's funny because I feel the same way. And

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Speaker 1: I just I've never been a person that um either

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Speaker 1: can just like, you know, just date somebody if I'm

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Speaker 1: not like really into them, you know, like I and

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00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 1: I admired the girls that can, Like I have girlfriends

387
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 1: who are like, yeah, I know. But he asked me

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Speaker 1: out again, so I'm gonna go, and I'm like, I

389
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 1: I can't do that, like us, I really like you.

390
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 1: I'm not going to like I'm making up an excuse

391
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 1: to get out of our coffee date, like what's your sign?

392
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 1: When's your birthday? I thought you gonna be a Sagittarius?

393
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 1: Like that is such a that's such as yeah, if

394
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to spend my hour with you, I'm

395
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 1: not coming. Guys, I had, like the whole gender was

396
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 1: awash for me after the divorce. I was like, I'm good,

397
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Speaker 1: I'm actually just gonna be alone forever. And then then

398
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: he came in and then he swooped in. I mean

399
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 1: I think, I mean yeah again, I think we you know,

400
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: I just I know that people will always have their

401
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: happy ending. However that looks, I don't think it everything. Yeah,

402
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 1: I just did this, Um, I just did this a

403
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:50,120
Speaker 1: therapy and I'm ever since June, I've like kind of

404
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,159
Speaker 1: been on a quest, a therapy quest to kind of

405
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,959
Speaker 1: just do new different styles of therapy that you know,

406
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 1: sounds scary to me, but I'm just going to do them.

407
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: And um, because there was like something that I knew

408
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: that I was like not letting myself know, Like, uh,

409
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 1: because I survived on fight or flight, I'll just push push, push,

410
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 1: push push, and I could just tell them that I

411
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 1: was like not allowing myself to know something. It was

412
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,879
Speaker 1: very strange. It was like this very it was my

413
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 1: Pisces intuitive nous coming to me. So I, um, anyways,

414
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 1: I did this crazy therapy about a week and a

415
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: half ago, and in the therapy realized that whoever comes

416
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 1: into my life next, I need that person to be

417
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 1: like a very like I'm going to take care of you,

418
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 1: which is no one that I ever. This is not

419
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: me like I like to control and I like to

420
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 1: take care. And um, it was such a strong, strong

421
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 1: message of like no, you need to let allow somebody

422
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,879
Speaker 1: to take care of you this time around, Like this

423
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: time around is about you surrendering and take me allowing yourself.

424
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: So that was so like strong and powerful that now

425
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 1: I'm really in like a place of like you know what,

426
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 1: like I'm just gonna but I'm just gonna sit here

427
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: and do my thing and enjoy time. And I'm just

428
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: gonna wait to allow. No, it's good and and write

429
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: you should write a letter to I. I have a

430
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: letter of all that. It's like I won't settle for

431
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 1: anything less than what's in this letter. And you know,

432
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 1: and that's one that's a really big one too, because

433
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: I I've always taken care of the other. I've never

434
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: once been taken care of. And I'm not even talking

435
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,919
Speaker 1: about like I mean financially but but yeah, I mean

436
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 1: even like I was, you know, I financially taken care

437
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: of people. And but it's like this time around, it's

438
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,400
Speaker 1: like I want to feel taken care of. I will

439
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: always still work. I'm not asking for that, but I

440
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: just like I want that like so bad. Yeah. Well,

441
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: like for instance, like sorry, but for instance, this um

442
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: my friend who was like, who's a wonderful man and

443
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: and we were hanging out. He has a beautiful wife.

444
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: So it was it was nothing that this is just

445
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 1: his personality, but I realized this is what I'm trying

446
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 1: to find. I think he was like, let's go to

447
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 1: a movie. We're in, you know, a city together. I

448
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: was like okay, and he was like, I just bought

449
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 1: the tickets, meet me at the theater. And I was

450
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 1: like okay. And then I show up and he was like,

451
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 1: I got a bag full of snacks. I don't know

452
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: what you like, but I kind of got everything. And

453
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 1: I was like, honestly, like, thank you. This is so

454
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: I don't like snaps. These are no caps, and me

455
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: the sweet and sour chip that you just got because

456
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 1: I'm just happy that you did something and I just

457
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 1: got to show up, like I think like exactly that.

458
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: You know, like I don't need somebody. I will always work.

459
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 1: I love working. I will I don't need somebody to

460
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: take care of me financially. It's just like it's that

461
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 1: kind of stuff planned the date, make the reservation, take

462
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: take that control initiative, take. Yeah, all of it's like

463
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 1: I don't want to like because in mind, I like,

464
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: never mind, Either I'll just do it or I'm like

465
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want that. I want someone to

466
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 1: come in and be like a man, like I'm this

467
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 1: is it, this is the plan, this is what we're doing.

468
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 1: Is we're going, and I'll just be like I will,

469
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: I will melt in your arms. We literally just had

470
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: we had this talk in my house because I was like,

471
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: Preston and I are trying really hard to be intentional

472
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,400
Speaker 1: about date nights because it's just hard to little kids.

473
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 1: He's traveling, and so then I found myself feeling like

474
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: date night was like on my to do list. So

475
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: it was like I arranged the babysitter and I'm like, hey,

476
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: Tuesday nights, date night. And it's like this doesn't feel

477
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: hot to me, Like this isn't you know? Like, so

478
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,479
Speaker 1: then I said to him, I was like, listen, I'm

479
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 1: going to send you all the babysitters numbers and I

480
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 1: want like Ashton will be here at seven thirty and

481
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 1: dinners at eight, Like that's hot to me. Yeah, yeah,

482
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: like we can all do it ourselves, but that doesn't

483
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: mean we want to. Yeah, God, well where are when

484
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: we're raising them, Amanda. So we've got a few among

485
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: the other there, but we're like we've done it. So

486
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: long or we've done it so much that it's like

487
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 1: they just get used to it. That's why y'all are great,

488
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 1: because y'all get to like set them from the beginning. Well,

489
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: I think Amanda too, where where I think a lot

490
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: of guys are just like they're lazier and it's easier

491
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: again with those apps. That's I say that they're the

492
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 1: curse man because it's a it's a swipe away for

493
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 1: something prettier, better, whatever, and it's like, unfortunately, that's a

494
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm passionate about raising better men for America. Yeah,

495
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm really passionate. I love having a daughter and it's incredible,

496
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: but raising a boy is a different kind of responsibility.

497
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 1: It really matters to me a lot. Yeah, it's that's

498
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 1: so true. Yeah, it's a really good thing to think about.

499
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 1: Is always gets older. Absolutely, we're gonna, we're gonna do it.

500
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 1: We got this girl. We don't need it, but like

501
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 1: you know, we're gonna, we're gonna. You know, you don't

502
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: need it, but it's nice to happen. Yeah, But again,

503
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 1: you write, you write it all down, you write the

504
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 1: list of of everything, and you don't settle for less

505
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 1: all right, that sweet little man until until you find somebody. Yeah,

506
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: I'd rather date Legend every day so much. Your son's

507
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: name Legend. Yeah, we really went for it. I'm a Christian,

508
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: so we really had to shake it out. Legend wild

509
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: and he's literally Will Ferrell. We're raising Will Ferrell. And

510
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: then Love Love is her daughter. Legend and Love Love.

511
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 1: Would you have another kid if you met, if you met,

512
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: if you met Mr Wright, he took care of you.

513
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: He got you with the dipping dots at the movie

514
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: You Get Her? Would you would you consider it? Um? Yes,

515
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 1: I definitely would consider it. I M I come from

516
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: a family of five kids. I've always said I want

517
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 1: multiple children. Um, you know I But then you think, like, realistically,

518
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: you know, I'm forty. Um, I know from my you

519
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: know fertility, um tracking even since I was thirty five

520
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: years old, that I my my egg quality might be amazing,

521
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,479
Speaker 1: but my quantity is very very very low, like so

522
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: low that like Elvis was. They were like, that's the miracle.

523
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:23,360
Speaker 1: So um, I definitely what I mean, I love children,

524
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: It's just that I'm you know, your forty, and like

525
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: I'd love to meet somebody and have some time with them. Too,

526
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: So um, I don't know. I mean I I never

527
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 1: say never, I never say never, But I mean I

528
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: love the idea of a blended family. I love the

529
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 1: idea of Elvis having a sibling because I have my

530
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: siblings and they're my best friends. So um, I would yeah,

531
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: I would love. But I will say, like the idea

532
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: of pregnant again, that like just seems like feels that

533
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: don't That seems like a lot Like I think I'm

534
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: like not ten like ten months and like you're just like,

535
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: like Easton's over here laughing, what do you know about? Easton?

536
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: Likes like I'm afraid to be a boy in here

537
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: right now. You know, my friend just had a surrogate

538
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:20,959
Speaker 1: and and she had to because she has a lot

539
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: of issues. She had a first child, you know, badly.

540
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: And in the Women, she did a surrogate for a second,

541
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, that is a nice way

542
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: to go, like Irene, That's what I say. Yeah, Like

543
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: she's sporty and like I told Kramer, if she married

544
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: someone that was a reasonably sized I would be a

545
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 1: surrogate for her. But you keep saying that would you

546
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: would you? Actually? I love being pregnant would you. I

547
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 1: would have a baby for you, but I need a

548
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,239
Speaker 1: reasonably sized man. My husband's a teacup Yorky too, so

549
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 1: when having our babies was very easy on my body

550
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 1: because we're not huge. You jam, Yeah, of course I would.

551
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: I would be the biggest blessing in my life and

552
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: have her. And you don't even have to pay me

553
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: because there is don't think get like paid. Don't you

554
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: sign this absolutely contract? You've heard it? Oh my god,

555
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 1: but I'm I'm going to be so you have to hurry.

556
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: I know. That's that's the hard thing because it's like

557
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, we'll see no. But I

558
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: think about that all the time. You guys, like you

559
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: think about you know, just dating in general. And like

560
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 1: I was talking to a friend's husband who started dating

561
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: the friend when her son was too and I was like,

562
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 1: I know, I just met you, but how was that?

563
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: Like that's a lot like coming into a relationship and

564
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: then you're not only like knowing that you love this woman,

565
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: but then she comes with a child. I was like,

566
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 1: obviously I'm asking this because this is my position, and like, yeah,

567
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: but like I try to recognize that, like when I

568
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: date a guy, he he that's a lot to put

569
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: on a guy's plate. First and foremost, Like, it's not

570
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: you know, a bunch of like hot kinky knights. You know,

571
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: like I can't just like go anywhere or stay out

572
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 1: any time I want to, you know what I mean. Like,

573
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 1: it's just different. And he was an amazing man. He

574
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, no that mattered to be like,

575
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:29,719
Speaker 1: I love that she was a mother and it just

576
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 1: it made her like even cooler to me. And I

577
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: was like, okay, well you're not normal, but no, I

578
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: think that weeds out the man and the boys. Though.

579
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: To be honest with you, I think a man comes

580
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 1: in and sees you. I mean, look at you. You're stunning,

581
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: You've got great head on your shoulders, you've got a

582
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: beautiful heart, You're super brave, and it's like you'll just

583
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: with they don't want to do that. Then we know

584
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 1: quickly moving along, Yeah, because a man comes in. I

585
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend who had three little girls and kind

586
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: of a not so great ex husband, and um, he

587
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 1: came in and he was like, I love you, I

588
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: love the three of them, and they just adopted them officially,

589
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: I think like a year ago. So yeah, I mean,

590
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,719
Speaker 1: he's like you, I get four of you. This is incredible.

591
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know it's pretty awesome. It's gonna happen.

592
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 1: I feel it. I do too. And I see Kristen

593
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: carrying my baby, so maybe she'll carry yours too, So

594
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: there you go. She's gonna car guys, everybody. I will

595
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: carry anyone. Body is made for. It is everybody. If

596
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:36,959
Speaker 1: you guys find reasonably sized men. I have to keep

597
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: saying that one that's six too is going to be

598
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: a giant. That well Preston's five ten, five tens, five

599
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: ten and air quotes got it right. Amanda, you are

600
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 1: just a blessing. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank

601
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: you for being so brave, thank you for being just lovely.

602
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: And I'm just I root for you and I just

603
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 1: adore you. So I cannot wait to see how God

604
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 1: moves in your life. Yeah, I really can't. It's gonna

605
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: be good. Great. I'm excited. And whenever you're in Nashville,

606
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: let's let's go honky Tonking and find us a cowboy

607
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: when you're back, and when you're back and make sure

608
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: I love it. Well, we're going tonight. If you want

609
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: to come, it's Caitlin coming, Kelly just got you know what.

610
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 1: But yeah, but anyways, oh man did Kelly get? Oh

611
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: she did. Yeah, we're just a dinner tonight. And Sar Covid. Man,

612
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: he was in Menxico. I mean that's not why, but yeah,

613
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: I me ended no longer can visit Mexico, Mexico. But

614
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that that guy Covid before Mexico. You're

615
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: just saying, um, okay, well we love you and I'll

616
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: see you soon. Al right, okay, bye bye, thank you.

617
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: H Banna, Banna. I love her. She's adorable, fresh, She's beautiful.

618
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm like sing, did you guys watch her

619
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: journey when Nick was going through COVID. I heard of it,

620
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: but I did not watch. I kind of filled myself

621
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 1: in later. I have to take this crazy heartbreaking just

622
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,919
Speaker 1: like the whole like they had. They had this whole

623
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 1: like dancing for you know, for her, like for him

624
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 1: and like to it was so sad. Yeah, it's just

625
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: really death is death is very layered, grief is layered. Yeah,

626
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: I love her, and I just I really truly believe

627
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: that everyone gets their happy ending. I'm just I'm a

628
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: I'm a believer of the fairy tales. I really do well,

629
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: and I think everybody's can look different. Yeah, you know,

630
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 1: and it might not be for a man. It's like

631
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: my happ ending might just be me and my kids forever.

632
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: I think there's some people obviously forever, but like in

633
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 1: just like no man, that's okay too, Like I agree,

634
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 1: or it could be with a man, but like it's

635
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: still happily ever after, just like you said, Look, look,

636
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: I don't think you're going to be alone, just you

637
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 1: Like that's where I think, like I'm gonna be alone forever,

638
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 1: and that's what I'm trying to get out of people's

639
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: heads too. And I like when someone's like I just

640
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: got divorced and I'm so afraid or I'm I'm afraid

641
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: being alone, it's like, because I said it too, you

642
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:35,400
Speaker 1: will never be alone. You can choose to be alone forever.

643
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 1: But alone doesn't have to be like with a guy, right,

644
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: Like I will never be alone, god willing, because I

645
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: have my children and then having then then from there

646
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 1: it's I've got my friends, so like that's not alone.

647
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: And I'm a person that would rather be alone than

648
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 1: be with someone and feel alone. Yes, I've always fought

649
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: that way. So it's like alone is relative then, And

650
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 1: that's a huge statement, you know, because how many times

651
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,359
Speaker 1: have we been in relationships in our marriage and we've

652
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 1: felt alone, like where it's just like, yeah, I fight

653
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: to keep myself never feeling that way again. Well, and

654
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 1: then you cannot have a man or a woman or

655
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 1: whatever and not feel alone. A lot of people by

656
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,919
Speaker 1: that way. Yeah. I also just think that more whole

657
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: you get as a person, the more whole the people

658
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: around you get as people, it all just feels a

659
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 1: little more doable. Also, I was just thinking about that,

660
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: you've been really good because we have a lot of

661
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 1: friends going through divorces. I was thinking about this at

662
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 1: saying that to people. I've noticed that with one of

663
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: our friends, like, you're very like you are not going

664
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 1: to be alone. Do not say that you're going to

665
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: be alone. You're like, you've you've done really good at

666
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 1: that with our friends that have gone through aren't times

667
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: I've noticed that because you're not. And it's but I

668
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: felt that too, So I get it, like same humans

669
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 1: than you were there. Well yeah, and I think you

670
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: know the you know, days after you all heard it's

671
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: like I might not ever have the man in the

672
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: end the picture. But I'm not going to be alone,

673
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: and nor will you or you or anyone else listening.

674
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: But thank you for saying that. I've noticed that, and

675
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: I think because of the position that you've been in

676
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,839
Speaker 1: and you have said that, and we've heard you say that,

677
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 1: people truly believe it, you know what I mean, They

678
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 1: can really take that from you. When I think, that's

679
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: why to like the season I'm in. If you guys

680
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 1: remember when we Jenna, If you guys remember, buckle up

681
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 1: you guys, Oh I do, I know, I don't know,

682
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: you guys. We filmed a video and the whole it

683
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: was a joke and I get it, but you guys

684
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: filmed a video and it was the question was when

685
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: is Janna going to have a boyfriend? Catherine said, what

686
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 1: two months? And this was back in This was back

687
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 1: for the launch of the part. This was the our

688
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,320
Speaker 1: wine down. This was back in March. So this was Oh,

689
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 1: so you like truly have not had boyfriend since then?

690
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,280
Speaker 1: I lost. Hey, you proved me wrong. You lost, You lost,

691
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: I lost, and I won. You did, like majorly majorly

692
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: because I said December. I said December and I'm still

693
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: got a couple of weeks, but the whole thing was

694
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: like I think now getting to the other side, like

695
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 1: I know that I'm not going to be alone because

696
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 1: my framework reference has now changed. It's like I know

697
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 1: that there is a man. I know I could I

698
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: know I can be loved by a man. I know

699
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 1: I could be in a relationship if I if I

700
00:38:55,360 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: wanted to. I've been asked, I've gone on dates. But

701
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 1: if it's not the one or in the season that

702
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 1: I'm in, like, I know I'm going to be fine.

703
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: So I don't feel like i have to move fast

704
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: now into anything because I'm in like a really solid

705
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 1: space where it's like you have to be the one

706
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 1: or at least the like potential one for me to

707
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,919
Speaker 1: like really get into a relationship because I'm like, I'm

708
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 1: okay being by myself because I know I'm not alone,

709
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: right because I have my friends, I have my children,

710
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 1: you have a whole version of yourself. Yes, I'm a

711
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: heal I'm a more healed version, and so I don't

712
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,280
Speaker 1: need to I don't need to be in a relationsh

713
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: because I know I'm not alone and i know I'm

714
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 1: not going to be alone forever, and that's what you

715
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,879
Speaker 1: were always scared of before, so you latched onto them

716
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 1: because you were so scared you wouldn't find someone else

717
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: and you'd be alone. Yeah, like right after my divorce,

718
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: I was like, because that's why you're just so chill,

719
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:59,359
Speaker 1: af I'm not going to be and I know, and

720
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: it's like, but it might not be a guy. But

721
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:03,359
Speaker 1: either way, I know I'm not going to be because

722
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 1: I'm not what you're saying. It's gonna be a girl.

723
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: She means her, I give you a pause, though I

724
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: knew flip something right there. I might. I don't know

725
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: if there's no I want you to know I love

726
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,720
Speaker 1: you no matter who you're in love with. Thank you,

727
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:22,879
Speaker 1: You're welcome. I mean, i'd never say never. I don't

728
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: think I love men like you. You do as like

729
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 1: an art form. I do like the you're of the

730
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:42,919
Speaker 1: gender I'm a fan of going through now. I'm just saying,

731
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:55,399
Speaker 1: but anyways, that's where I'm at saying, because yeah, what

732
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 1: didn't you just realize though you guys, I'm dying, I

733
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:05,240
Speaker 1: blushing and Bubba no all of it their radio guys.

734
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I'm fine. Everything fine. I'm blushing.

735
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 1: You're blushing. I love it. I'm a fan of it.

736
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: I love y'all. Well, that was fun. Talk to you

737
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: guys later