WEBVTT - How to Rise with Former Rep. Katie Hill 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:05.160 Today's quote is from Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. It's an old tweet, 0:00:05.240 --> 0:00:08.600 but it's a goody. She says. The reason women are 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:12.000 critiqued for being too loud or too meek, too big 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:15.280 or too small, too smart to be attractive, or too 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:18.800 attractive to be smart is to be little women out 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:23.239 of standing up publicly. The goal is to critique into submission, 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:35.159 and that applies to anyone challenging power. Welcome to permission 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:38.960 to speak. The podcast about how we talk and how 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:47.040 we get ourselves heard with me samar By. Today's guest 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:51.360 is Katie Hill. She was a congresswoman. She won her 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:56.120 campaign for US Congress along with AOC and the blue 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.720 wave of women and outsiders in the mid terms, and 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:02.440 was seen as a star of the new class. She 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:05.200 was thirty one years old. She had flipped a forever 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:08.319 read district just north of l A. She had run 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:11.800 the most millennial campaign ever, according to Vice, and was 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:15.840 a true inspiration for progressives, for the queer community, for 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:21.160 women everywhere. But then nude photos were leaked and allegations 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:23.679 were made, and she was called both a victim and 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:27.319 a predator, and rather than stay in fight, she surprised everyone, 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:31.720 including Speaker Pelosi, and decided to resign last November, less 0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:34.800 than a year after she was sworn in. I wanted 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:37.800 to have Katie on. First of all, because um, I 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:40.839 followed her campaign in its early days. There's some amazing 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:44.560 activist organizations in l A that did fundraising and canvassing 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.680 for her and asked her tough questions. Shout out to 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:51.280 momitivist and FIA and hang out to good hi guys, UM. 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.400 But also I wanted to have her on because you know, 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:59.080 she had the sort of public experience so that I 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:02.720 think we all year losing total control of the narrative 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:07.840 sexist double standards. She contemplated suicide, and she ultimately went 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:11.480 out with the biggest of bangs, delivering a resignation speech 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:15.640 on the floor of Congress in which she said, quote, yes, 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:18.520 I'm stepping down, but I refused to let this experience 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:21.079 scare off other women who dared to take risks, who 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.280 dared to step into this light, who dared to be powerful. 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:26.920 It might feel like they won in the short term, 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.600 but they can't in the long term. We cannot let them. 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:33.160 You guys, we swear a lot in this conversation we 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:37.520 talk about a lot of the real shit, from how 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:40.160 she decided that she could actually run to be a 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:43.120 congress person with no prior political experience in the first place, 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:47.600 to how she prepared that fateful speech and what happened after, 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:50.720 including her new book and her political action committee that 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:55.839 she started to fulfill the promise of that speech. And um, 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:57.959 she may or may not have had two glasses of 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:02.240 rose while we talked, which was honestly so perfect, and 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.840 we are now rethinking the whole show to record during 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:09.480 happy hour. Moving forward. Um, guys, this is Katie help. 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:21.680 I actually want to start by just going back back 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:25.280 to what made you decide you wanted to run? Sure 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:29.200 if you had kind of like an aha moment, Oh absolutely, 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:32.600 I mean the aha moment was well, start back at 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.720 the beginning. So I was never planning on running for 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:38.040 office in the first place. I thought maybe i'd do 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:40.480 something in politics. At one point, I thought I wanted 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:45.720 to be a speechwriter. Um, but I wasn't. That's interesting. Well, 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:48.600 probably just did that at one point because I was 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.960 an English major and he's like, you, you could write 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:54.880 speeches for politicians, and um, and I thought that would 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:57.000 be cool, But I yeah, that wasn't really something you're like, 0:03:57.040 --> 0:04:00.640 what if the politician in question is me? But like 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:03.640 that just wasn't really on the radar, you know what 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:05.280 I mean. It just wasn't really something that occurred to 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:08.920 me until um, until much later. So I was. But 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:12.000 I just mean like having the speech writing you know, ability, 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.680 or having having that as a as a concept, you know, 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:16.800 a lot of obviously a lot of politicians sort of 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:18.400 need help with like how to put a speech together. 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.120 And I'm sure that you know a lot of people 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.800 don't know this, but the last speech that I gave 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:26.320 I wrote completely on my own. I didn't have anybody 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:28.159 else help with it. I didn't feel like I could, 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:30.120 so needless to say, I'm going to ask you a 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:33.760 bunch of questions about how you prepped for that. But yeah, 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:37.400 when I started, I was basically I was the executive 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:40.960 director of this huge nonprofit called PATH People Assisting Homeless. 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:44.160 It was the largest homeless services organization in California. It's 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:46.360 gotten even bigger since I left, and I'm really proud 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:49.839 of the work they do. But um, when you know, so, 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:52.000 things were going really well on what we were doing. 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.520 We had advocated for these ballot measures at the local 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:58.320 level UM in the city and County of Los Angeles 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:00.400 that would have a huge impact on peop and we 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.520 were successful. But at the same time that those passed, 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:08.640 Trump won, and I, like women across the country, was 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:12.080 absolutely horrified, and specifically for the work that we were 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:14.920 doing with the nonprofit that I was with. We knew 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.440 that having a Republican House and Senate and having Donald 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.320 Trump as president meant that everything we did was in 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:22.760 jeopardy and the people we served, the most vulnerable people 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:26.880 in our communities, were at serious risk for literally their 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:30.560 lives um because of you know, how social programs would 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:33.200 be cut and how healthcare they were. You know, the 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:35.120 first thing on their agenda was to try and get 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.040 rid of the Affordable Care Act, which is which had 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:41.719 literally saved people from dying on the streets. And I said, okay, 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:45.480 I need to do something. So, you know, obviously, clothing 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:49.520 the House was our next electoral opportunity, and I thought, okay, 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:51.680 I'll get involved in that somehow. So I literally go 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:54.520 to Swing Left UM the website and I type in 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:58.080 my zip code and much to my surprise, the nearest 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:00.960 Swing district was the was the one that I'd spent 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:03.000 my entire life in where I still lived and where 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:06.320 I had grown up, and you know, having grown up there, 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.520 I thought it was going to forever be a Republican stronghold. 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:13.120 It was, um. You know, it's got Santa Clarita and 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:16.239 Semi Valley and the Antelope Valley and these are places, 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.720 you know, southern California that have long histories of being 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:25.600 staunchly Republican and and you know, often very racist. And yeah, 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:28.240 it's got a storied past. But so when I saw that, 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:30.320 I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. There's 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:34.359 actually a chance to flip my own district. And so 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.040 I was like, I'm gonna get involved in a campaign. 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:39.239 But sure enough, this is this isn't about late January 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:46.040 early February of at and um, and then I looked 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.480 at who was running and and no one had officially 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.560 announced yet. But the person who was the most likely 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:53.960 too was the guy who had run the last time 0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:57.000 and had lost, even though he lost by six, even 0:06:57.040 --> 0:07:00.920 though Hillary Clinton had won by seven. So I, uh, well, A, 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:04.000 I want to support a woman if I can, and 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:06.320 be I don't think this guy can win. He wasn't 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:08.640 from our district. And I thought he had a lot 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:11.760 of other issues as a candidate. So I'm complaining about this, 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:15.080 right And I'm saying I want a woman, who are 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:18.560 you complaining to a number of different friends and mentors 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.960 and in mainly in the in my workspace and um. 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.880 And so finally one of them said to me, She's like, Kay, 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:28.440 you're complaining an awful lot about this. Why don't you run? 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:36.000 And I'm like but and so then I thought, you know, 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:38.160 And so I thought about it overnight, and then the 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.480 next morning in the shower, I was, you know, contemplating this. 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:44.160 And it was in the shower that I was like, 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:48.520 fuck it. If if Donald Trump can become president of 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:51.480 the United States, why can't I run for Congress? You 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:52.560 know what I mean. Like it was kind of one 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:54.640 of those moments you're like, I've been successful. I've done 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:57.600 all these things. I matched this profile of a person 0:07:58.000 --> 0:08:00.840 that should be electable in my district, that grew up there, 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.160 that's the daughter of a police officer and a nurse 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.520 and put themselves through school and da da da da, 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.800 and and so I remember getting out of the shower 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:13.080 and thinking this is totally crazy, but I'm gonna see 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.280 I'm gonna see about this. So I texted her, the 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:16.960 woman who had suggested it to me, and she was 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.800 she worked for an an Elle County supervisor and had 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.200 been involved in politics and advocacy for a lot longer 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:24.720 than I had. And so I'm like, so, what if 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:27.840 I actually do this? Like where would I even start? 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:31.000 And um, So we got together for coffee and I 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:36.160 followed a few other different random connections and very quickly, uh, 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:40.640 it came to fruition. And um, then my life changed 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.520 in a pretty big way. So you know, there's so 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:46.840 many statistics and you've referenced them recently about you know, 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.800 women holding themselves back, that that that we worry about 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:52.720 our age, we worry better experience, we were better credentials. 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.360 Like how did you talk to yourself about that specifically, 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.640 because obviously you're on the young end. Yeah, well, honestly, 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:00.880 I mean that was out. Was the big thing is 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:03.120 that I'd always I've always been the young person, right, 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:06.000 I always just in my career, I had advanced early, 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.240 and so, um, I had to get comfortable with being 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.760 the young person in the room and having more authority 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:14.800 in power than you know, as usual for somebody my age. 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:18.120 And having to be taken seriously when most people that 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:21.839 you're negotiating with or are trying to bring along to 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:25.560 your side or whatever, even supervising or sometimes decades older 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:28.840 than you. So I had probably more confidence around that 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:31.760 than than many would, just because I had to grapple 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:35.520 with it earlier. But I swear the biggest thing was 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:40.440 that that I saw what is supposed to be a 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:46.000 politician does not matter anymore. The rules around all of 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:49.640 that have been shattered if this guy can become president, 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:50.880 not in a good way, not in the way that 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.400 we want them to be shattered, but they are. And 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:57.960 so I thought, um, you know that there is no 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:00.240 reason that I should be held back or that anyone 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:02.480 else should be held back if they're running for the 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:05.440 right reasons, when this guy who was running totally for 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:10.000 the wrong reasons managed to get elected. So you know, 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.320 because I guess it was that kind of rationalization that 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:19.800 was like the big push for me. Yeah, But I mean, 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.439 and also there's just you know, that's that's relevant for 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.120 all of us who are thinking about stepping into any 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:26.599 type of leadership position, is like, you know, if we 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:29.440 want to see better leaders, maybe it's us, And maybe 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:31.600 the experience that we've had in the rooms we've had 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.520 just trying to be taken seriously is actually, you know, 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:36.600 in the case in your case, that is actually what 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:40.079 leadership experience or politics, you know, political experience is. It's 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.920 not having run for office before, it's having had to 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:46.199 work to you know, have authority in a room. Yeah. 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.680 And and also I think that people who have worked 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:52.600 on the front lines of any you know, social issue 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.960 have this lived experience and just this practical experience of 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.600 how the laws and and the the ways that people 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:02.760 govern actually impact um, you know, day to day lives 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.880 and and for me specifically the most vulnerable people in 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.880 our communities and um And So when I have young 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:11.640 people frequently asked me, you know, if I want to 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.520 get into politics, if I'm thinking I want to be 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.400 a politician later, what do you recommend I do with 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:17.719 these are college and high school students. I'm like, the 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:20.520 best thing that I can recommend is to work in 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:23.720 a nonprofit, work in in the whatever you're passionate about. 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:25.560 It could be the environment, it could be women's issues, 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.080 it could be you know, whatever kind of social services. 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:32.360 But do the hands on work and and make sure 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:34.240 that you're doing it for the right reason, and that 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:36.760 will prepare you for whatever you want to do in politics. 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.120 And um, I just think that that's so much more 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:43.120 applicable than going to law school and doing some constitutional stuff. 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:45.560 So and getting further and further away from you know 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:49.280 that you're going to be representing, literally, but such good advice. 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:52.160 It's such it's so like, it's so practical. I wonder 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.240 also if you could tell us, because you are the 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.280 first congress person I have had on this show. Oh nice, 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.960 thank you for that, right, a little bit about what 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:04.200 the actual experience was like when you were working there. 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.600 I want to know us specifically in terms of, you know, 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:10.120 the group of you guys who came in and like 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.120 what kind of conversations you had quietly as you were 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:16.319 sort of trying to understand what the power dynamics were. Yeah, 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:18.920 so that was a that was fascinating and that was 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.440 so exciting. And um, you know, so we got elected 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.760 on November what was it November? I can't even remember 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:30.840 the days anymore totally, even more now than before. But 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:33.600 we got the day after we got elected, those of 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:37.120 us who knew that we we'd won the next day, Um, 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.040 we got an invitation and we've even gotten this before 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:43.640 of if you win, hold these dates because you're immediately 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:45.880 going to go to orientation. And it was the following week, 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:47.800 so it was the election was on a Tuesday. You 0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:50.559 needed to be in Washington by the following monday for 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:54.880 starting your orientation. So UM, basically that was that was 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.400 when it begins, and you you go and you meet 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.640 all these other people had who had won and who 0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:02.280 and so many of us were you know, we weren't 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.600 politicians at all, right, this was our first run for 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.880 any kind of office, and so we were we had 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:09.280 no idea what we were doing, but we felt like 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:13.480 we were in a we were very much in there 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:16.320 with a mandate to um to kind of shake things 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.079 up and to do things differently and too fucking save 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.880 the country from this monster. And um. So there was 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:24.959 that excitement and that energy, and we had all these 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.000 women who had won, and many of the women knew 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:30.000 each other from the campaign trail because Emily's List had 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:32.760 supported us, and so I got to know a bunch 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:36.360 of the women before even the primaries were over. And 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:38.959 then that continued and then those of us on that 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:40.839 were called red to Blue, those of us who were 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:44.760 in the highly competitive Republican seats. UM were we also, 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.040 you know, we're around each other all the time during 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:50.520 the campaigns, so you know, it wasn't all unknown. But 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:52.880 then there was this kind of mixing of everybody who 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:55.320 had come from these blue districts, these solid blue districts, 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:58.280 and you know, there were sixty of us, and you 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:02.280 go into this orientation and you're just completely bombarded by 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:06.040 so much information. One of the pieces of information is 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:10.960 that you have to basically elect these leaders for all 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:15.680 kinds of different positions before we ever are even sworn in. 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.200 And so we were getting sworn in on January three, 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.240 and UM, so this is this is the middle of November. 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.400 At this point, we found out that there was going 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:26.960 to be a freshman representative to leadership, which was it 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:28.880 was a relatively new position, but it was one that 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:33.440 UM the Speaker designated for the freshman class to have 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.320 UM to have a voice at the table. And that's 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:38.720 you know, that's a big deal, especially since we were 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:40.680 coming in there. I think many of us thinking we 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:42.320 were going to have to have basically a big old 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:46.720 fight with the establishment to even have our voices heard. 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:50.920 So we thought great, that's exciting. But we also said 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.120 there are sixty freshmen, which is a quarter of the 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.240 more than a quarter of the of the Democratic caucus, 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.760 and so I mean, that's a big number. So a 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:01.560 couple of us made the argument that if we're a 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.000 quarter of the Democratic Caucus, we should have more than 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.080 one seat at the table. So we made the case 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:10.480 that it should be too, and Janah Goose from Colorado 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:15.680 and I, um, we basically said we'll run together. And 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:17.520 it was it was, you know, it was pretty like 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.840 pretty good political maneuvering for very early on. And um, 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:24.840 like it was you know, that was that was a 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:28.160 lot of fun. But also we I wanted to be 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.560 at that table if I was going to have the opportunity, 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:32.720 I wanted to be in the room with Nancy Pelosi 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.040 and everything like that. And so got we got to 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:40.880 and um and but then it was then the responsibility 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:44.640 that you have is becomes huge. It becomes you are 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:47.800 the liaison between leadership and the freshman class. You were 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:50.120 the one who is supposed to take whatever the freshman 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:54.160 classes feeling and saying and want wants to prioritize and 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.760 reflect that in these leadership meetings and Um, it was. 0:15:57.800 --> 0:15:59.880 I mean, you were literally representing two different bodies. But 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:04.560 yeah and um yeah, your constituents and the class, and 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:08.280 that's not they didn't always align exactly right. You had 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:11.680 to kind of balance that, um, And I often also 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:15.480 had to say, you know, this is the overwhelming view 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:17.640 of people in the freshman class, but like it's not 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:21.080 necessarily mine. So I had to kind of balance that. 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:23.960 But I learned so much by being in that position, 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:29.000 just in terms of how the deals are made. What uh, 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:32.480 you know, the history of these people who have been 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:35.640 in Congress for so long, and you know the speaker 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:39.600 Nancy Pelosi especially, just just in awe of how she 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:41.760 did things. And this is the beginning of a new 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:45.960 Congress where Trump is finally going to be UM held 0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:48.560 back a little bit because the Republicans obviously for two 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:52.280 years it left him completely unchecked. So it was it 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:55.280 was really an incredible time, and I'm very lucky and 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:59.000 glad that I was there. I am too, thank you. Okay, 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:03.280 so you're resignation speech, I want to talk about, like 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:06.920 practically speaking, I mean, you referenced having written it yourself, 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:10.159 you said more than you needed to, you know, you 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.160 said very boldly I'm leaving. But we have men who 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:16.640 have been credibly accused of intentional acts of sexual violence 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:19.000 and remain in boardrooms, on the Supreme Court, in this 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:21.359 very body, and worst of all, in the Oval office. 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:24.440 I want to know, like how you prep for that, especially, 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:27.440 I mean obviously during such a like insanely heightened emotional time, 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:29.960 But what was your thought process about what you wanted 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:34.879 to say? So I had um and I wrote about 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:39.320 this in the book, but literally the day after I well, 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:44.200 I decided to resign, was in this dark depth of 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:51.000 depression and then, UM, you know, contemplated very seriously contemplated suicide. 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:53.080 And when I decided not to, when I when I 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:55.800 got out of that space. Um, the next day was 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.160 when I when I woke up and decided I needed 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:00.119 to write this speech because and when I was going 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:02.760 to give it and everything like that, and I knew 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:04.720 I wanted to give it. I wanted to make sure 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.359 that I that I actually gave a speech. I didn't 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:09.439 need to give a speech, right that was, but I 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.359 wanted to and um, and so I got up and 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.600 I just started I just started on it, and a 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.600 lot of it just came out right. It was just. 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:21.120 But but I knew a number of the points that 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:24.320 were really important to me. UM, one of which was 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.439 that I was you know, I wanted to reflect that 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:29.679 I was sorry, that I was sorry for everything that 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:31.800 was sorry for. I was sorry for what I've done. 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.399 I was sorry for stepping down. I was sorry for 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:38.879 letting people you know, uh, letting people down, and and 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:41.760 my responsibility for it. But I also wanted to point 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:45.679 out that this is you know, the expectations that we 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:47.960 have for women and the and I think the pressure 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:52.160 that I felt, even from myself to resign is very 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:57.320 different from from those that you know, we have towards men. 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.480 And that's an example, if I had by Donald Trump, 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:05.760 who has been accused by over twenty five women of 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:08.479 sexual misconduct, and you know that that probably runs a 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:12.119 lot deeper than we even know. So UM, I felt 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:14.879 like it was important to kind of to reflect on 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:18.439 that and to and to say, you know, I'm stepping 0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:21.000 back now for a number of reasons, including that I 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:22.680 did not want to be a distraction. I didn't want 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:24.520 to be used as a tool. I didn't want to 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:28.639 be weaponized against my colleagues or or a distraction, just 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:33.800 as the impeachment hearings exactly. But I also I wanted 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:38.760 people to know that I that I recognized where there's 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:41.879 an injustice right and that I that I'm going to 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:44.919 find a way to to continue to fight that. And 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:47.400 my role is different, but I don't want I wanted 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:50.159 people to know that there them having worked on my 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:53.800 campaign or UM supported me in whatever way, that I 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:55.800 that I was going to make sure that it was 0:19:55.840 --> 0:20:00.040 still worth something. It wasn't in vain. Yeah, I know. 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:01.840 And I mean we're going to take a quick break 0:20:01.840 --> 0:20:03.280 in a second, and then we're going to talk about, 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:06.080 you know, exactly what you have done. But before we do, 0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:08.440 I want to just I want to linger here for like, 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:11.320 you know, this is on on some sort of sort 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:14.239 of fundamental level. This podcast is about public speaking and 0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:16.399 our sense of power when we stand up to talk, 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:18.439 and I wish I would I would love you to 0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:21.600 talk about like what the physical feeling was of like 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:24.040 making yourself walk out there, what it felt like to actually, 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:27.320 you know, give that speech. And also if you've listened 0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:29.800 back and if you have any kind of things that 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:32.879 come up, you know, yeah, yeah, actually I have not 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:35.920 listened back to it, and it's in full. I've seen 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:39.840 the snippets that people sometimes replay before I, um, you know, 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:42.520 before I come onto a show, or that I've I've 0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:45.800 just caught parts of, but um, I have not sat 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:48.400 and listened to the entire thing. And honestly, I think 0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:51.359 that that would be really hard to do. Um, But 0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:54.200 I mean, I also work in Hollywood, and like actors 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:57.399 don't like to look back at themselves either, totally. Yeah, 0:20:57.680 --> 0:21:00.400 I want to know about like what was going through head. 0:21:00.440 --> 0:21:03.280 I can't remember how you decided to take a breath 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:05.040 when you did, you know, like what it was to 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:08.440 actually step out there, because the version that you delivered 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:11.800 was really even Yeah, you know what I mean. And 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:14.400 I don't think that was an accident. I really did 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:17.120 feel like I had to completely steal myself for it. 0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:21.359 And I've described it this way before, but you know, 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:23.680 I put on that I'd never worn that red dress before, 0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:26.080