1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories and Sonya, Richard 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: Ross and Aaron Ross joining us. Now, before we get going, 3 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 1: let's just get this out of the way. University of 4 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: Texas and the two of US, University of Georgia, University 5 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: of Arkansas. Let's just try to get this. Let's just 6 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: get through this over everybody. 7 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 2: Okay, it's all good here. It's just friendly competition. 8 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: So God, it's good to see you. And let's start. Yes, 9 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: right off the top. And I guess this is kind 10 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 1: of a This is the one that tripped a lot 11 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,279 Speaker 1: of folks up, so we change it a little bit 12 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: this year. So put it this way in five words 13 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: or less, and I'll start with you, Sonya, describe your relationship. 14 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a really good one. 15 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 4: I'm happy that we didn't watch other ones so this 16 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 4: would be so authentsake, you know, you're not like prepared. 17 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 4: But in five words unless which is very hard for 18 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 4: me teaching because I like to do, but I would 19 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 4: say our relationship is the most loving, like joyous place 20 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 4: of growth. 21 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 5: That's mine life. 22 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 4: For me, you know, like for us. I don't know 23 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 4: if that's five words, but that's what comes to mind. 24 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: Loving, joyous, place of growth. 25 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 2: That was five nailed it not shocking all right? Eron 26 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 2: how about you? 27 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,639 Speaker 5: I would she stole my growth? 28 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 6: So now I got back, I would say our relationship 29 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 6: is exciting. 30 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 5: Damn. I want to use growth. Growth is is. 31 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 6: I think growth is the main thing, especially with us 32 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 6: together for so long. So exciting growth and a roller coaster, Guys, 33 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 6: roller coasters are exciting. 34 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 5: They are. 35 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,959 Speaker 7: They can be scary too, though, both and you hope 36 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 7: it doesn't go off the tracks. 37 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: Now, that's a lot of stuff we could do with 38 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 1: roller coasters here. 39 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,239 Speaker 8: But that's honest. I appreciate that. No, but that is true. 40 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,639 Speaker 2: And I think when people hear that, all jokes aside, 41 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 2: it makes the rest of us mortals feel like, Okay, 42 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 2: we're not alone. Roller Coaster rides are a part of 43 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 2: most relationships, even solid ones, even time tested ones. 44 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,519 Speaker 8: I'm curious who said I love you first? 45 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 5: Oh? 46 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 3: Definitely mean and early too. 47 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 2: So. 48 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 4: My husband and I met at utube and in college 49 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 4: freshman year of college two thousand and three, and we 50 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 4: were both were both on athletic scholarships. We both hadn't 51 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 4: we didn't know each other before. So I'm with my 52 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 4: sister and he walks into the CAFs and I'm like, ooh, 53 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 4: he is point. 54 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 3: Who is that? 55 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 4: You know? So I call him over and he introduced himself, 56 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 4: and you know, we kind of go on our first 57 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 4: DAIDA a week or so later, and I want to say, 58 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 4: probably in the first month or so. 59 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 3: We're on a call and I'm like, I love you. 60 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: Oh wow Bold, yeah, oh yeah, I listen. 61 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:24,519 Speaker 3: I know what I want. 62 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 4: Amy. I don't really play around. It's like, look, I 63 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 4: saw him. I was like, that's my husband, He's the one. 64 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 3: Let's do this. 65 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then how long? Okay, 66 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: go ahead, Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then 67 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: how long before you said I love you? 68 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 5: I'll come back to my reaction. Okay, all right. 69 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 6: So to give you some context, so I saw her 70 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 6: like a year previous to when the time that she's 71 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 6: she just actually met yeah, sorry to track meet. And 72 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 6: of course I didn't want to approach. I wanted wanted 73 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 6: her to focus on what she was doing. So that 74 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 6: following year, I get back to campus, I'm asking my teammates, Hey, 75 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 6: do you. 76 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 5: Know this this girl. 77 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 6: I'm trying to figure out where she's at, who she is, 78 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 6: and then they actually told me that she had a boyfriend. 79 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 5: So I was like, ah, so I kind of fell back. 80 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 6: But then this actual time right here that she's talking about, 81 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 6: when she saw me coming to the cafeteria, I'm an athlete, 82 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,720 Speaker 6: so coaches always told me to make sure. 83 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 5: You put yourself in position and make places. She got me. 84 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 5: I put myself in position. 85 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 3: But to get to exactly, you haven't flotten. 86 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 5: Whole year, she didn't even know. So she went for 87 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 5: the baby. 88 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 6: But to answer your question, when she said it, it 89 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 6: definitely caught me off of surprise. And I have a 90 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 6: sweet mate, a roommate, sweet mate, and I said I 91 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,039 Speaker 6: love you too, hung up, ran to it, ran to 92 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 6: his room like, oh man, I just told him, girl, 93 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 6: I love broth. 94 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:11,039 Speaker 8: So you regretted it for that because it was so soon. 95 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 5: So I was like, am I supposed to say this 96 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 5: this early? But of course I always head over heels 97 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 5: for but that love you were and it was it's serious. 98 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:24,919 Speaker 5: We've been together ever since. 99 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all said I love you very quickly and maybe 100 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 2: shockingly so for Aaron, how long were you engaged before 101 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 2: you decided to get married? Maybe I should ask how 102 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,720 Speaker 2: long until you got engaged and then how long until 103 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 2: you got married? 104 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were together for seven. 105 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 6: Years ten, two thousand and three and two thousand and eight. 106 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 4: We got married in twenty ten, but you're proposed in 107 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 4: eight So we're together for five years and then engaged 108 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 4: for two years. So we got married seven years after meeting. 109 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 4: So five years into our relationship he proposed, and then 110 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 4: two years that. 111 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 3: We got married. 112 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: Okay, so you've been married. Now how many years. 113 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 5: Married? Since? Ten? 114 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 3: Sixteen years? 115 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 2: This year? 116 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: Okay, So tell me this What was the best year? Aaron? 117 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 1: I'll start with you, what was the best year of 118 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: your marriage so far? Or if you can't give me 119 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,920 Speaker 1: a specific year, tell me what was the best stretch 120 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,239 Speaker 1: of your marriage so far? Those early years, some middle 121 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: years or lately where we are. 122 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 6: Now, it's two during our career, so of course twenty 123 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 6: ten through two thousand and sixteen, it felt. 124 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 5: Like a fairy tale when kids yet nothing, nothing that happened. 125 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 3: We ain't had no kid yet. 126 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 5: Part part that middle part we had our son in 127 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:55,280 Speaker 5: seventeen through twenty two after roller. 128 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 6: Coaster Wow, and then probably I will say now I 129 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 6: would say our best year has been these last two 130 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 6: because of the brot. 131 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 8: Yeah, and it sounds like you agree with that. 132 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say like in the beginning, even before 133 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 4: we got married, it felt like we were like on 134 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 4: this honeymoon for years, like people. It was like seven 135 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 4: eight years of just you know, relationship and marital bliss. 136 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 4: And I think a large part of that too, was 137 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 4: because we were also living in our dreams. Like Ross 138 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 4: was in the NFL living out his dream I was 139 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 4: competing in the Olympics. I think that we had enough 140 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 4: space in our relationshiphere we you know, we were traveling, 141 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 4: so when we saw each other was always like we 142 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 4: just wanted to be loving, you know. 143 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 5: It wasn't like we were each other. 144 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, we went like fighting because we weren't in the 145 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 4: same house all the time. I think we really appreciate 146 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 4: our times together. So, yeah, we had a really nice 147 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 4: stretch of a like literally like honeymoon bliss. And like 148 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 4: Ross said, we had that tough period when we had 149 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 4: our first son and then other things to a lot 150 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 4: of changes, you know what I mean, like not no 151 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 4: longer competing in our sport, like the loss of that, 152 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 4: which feels like a death of something, you know, because 153 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 4: we have been doing it since I was I saw 154 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 4: when I was seven, and so you know, that period 155 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 4: for both of us of transitioning from sports into real 156 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 4: life and being parents and all that stuff was really 157 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 4: tough on us. And then I think now we're kind 158 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 4: of on the other side of that. So I would 159 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 4: say those first ten years. 160 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 3: And now these last like two. 161 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 2: That is so interesting because one of the questions is 162 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 2: did you have a honeymoon period and if so, how 163 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 2: long did it last? 164 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 8: Would you say, and I would you attribute. 165 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 2: Part of the fact that your honeymoon period lasted for 166 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 2: so long and sounds like it was near down perfect. 167 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 2: How much time were you actually spending together. Do you 168 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 2: think having the time apart and having that time to 169 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,959 Speaker 2: be together to support each other, but to also have 170 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 2: your individual needs being met outside of the partner had 171 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 2: a huge part of that honeymoon period. 172 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 4: I think that I think the space is one thing 173 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 4: that people in relationships don't give enough kind of respect 174 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 4: to how important that is. I think that people get 175 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 4: married and they just everything's just all on top of 176 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 4: each other all at once, and that's hard. It's hard 177 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 4: when you transit from single life or whatever your life 178 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,839 Speaker 4: was pre to like now, every moment you're with the 179 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 4: person and you're their source of happiness, it's really hard. 180 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 4: And so I think for us, yes, there was this 181 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 4: awesomeness about our relationship in the beginning, part because we 182 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 4: were both so happy on our personal journeys as well 183 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 4: that I think played into it. And then you know, 184 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 4: we were young, we were just it was just a 185 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 4: lot of really amazing factors. I think that made it 186 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 4: really special at that time. And yeah, it was definitely 187 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 4: an extended, extended period. 188 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,559 Speaker 1: Okay, so the key to being happy is being a 189 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: part as much as you can early on. Got it. 190 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 5: It's just actually it was the gift and the curse. 191 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 6: That was the gift in the beginning, but then the 192 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 6: curse came came when we had to stay and figure 193 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 6: each other out being together after retirement. 194 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 5: We had we were just in the house of twenty 195 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 5: four to seven with each other. 196 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,320 Speaker 6: So it was just it was like the of most 197 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:06,079 Speaker 6: people's relationship to where you're trying to I don't like 198 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,959 Speaker 6: taking the trash out early in the morning, but she 199 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 6: wanted me to take the trash out early in the morning. 200 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 3: So it was just so many things that we had 201 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 3: like refigure out. 202 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 6: Yeah, refigure out that we used to let each other 203 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 6: slide on because we were just so happy to see 204 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 6: each other, you. 205 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: Know, Aaron. That takes us to another question we do have, 206 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: But tell us what is the longest stretch or period 207 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: of time that you all have been apart from each 208 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 1: other or actually living apart even from each other. What 209 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,079 Speaker 1: was the longest stretches you all had to deal with 210 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: in your relationship. 211 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 6: I would say it's not so much living apart because 212 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:45,079 Speaker 6: football season and track season it kind of its opposite. 213 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 6: So and my off season is her season, so I 214 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 6: would go where she's at, So it wasn't an extended 215 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 6: amount of time, but she would be gone maybe a week. 216 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 3: Two weeks, sometimes Olympics three weeks. 217 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 4: Yes, we say the longest TJ was probably a month, 218 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 4: like from like where I would be for the Olympics, 219 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 4: we would go to training camp and then I'd be gone, 220 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 4: or like Ross will be a training camp. 221 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 3: I would say the longest was a month, but. 222 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 5: That happened quite off yeah, throughout the year. 223 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 6: Yeah, so it would be two to four weeks where 224 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,679 Speaker 6: we'll have off and then we'll be together for like 225 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 6: maybe three months, and then we'll have another week or Yeah, 226 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 6: there was a lot of breaks. 227 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 5: In between that one year. 228 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 3: All right. 229 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 2: So once you all ended up living with one another 230 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,439 Speaker 2: day in and day out, there weren't exciting trips necessarily 231 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 2: that you were off to go accomplish your dreams. 232 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 8: Now you're stuck with one another. What were the problems? 233 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 2: I mean, I know you joked about the trash, but 234 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 2: what were some of the daily problems that started to 235 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 2: chip away potentially at your romantic, honeymoon esque clove. 236 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. 237 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,199 Speaker 4: I would say the biggest one started with our with 238 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 4: their with the birth of our son. So I think 239 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 4: for us ultimately, and I think a lot of times 240 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 4: in relationships, you set out thinking, you guys have you know, 241 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 4: exactly similar goals, like everything is going to be aligned 242 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 4: on how you're going to do things, and then when 243 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 4: things don't pan out that way, it can cause like 244 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 4: a riff. And so I think I have like fifteen 245 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 4: god children, like I'm Godmother of the year, I'm Auntie 246 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,080 Speaker 4: of the Year, and I thought I was gonna raise 247 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 4: our kids a certain way, which was completely in alignment 248 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 4: with how Ross was like more strict, like very you know, 249 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 4: structured kind of the way we grew up. And then 250 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 4: and then the babies came and I was like wrapped 251 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 4: around my little finger. I mean, he's softy, you know, 252 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,559 Speaker 4: And so just even those types of things like understanding 253 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:36,079 Speaker 4: like what parenting was going to look like for me 254 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 4: versus for him, like what my expectations were of him 255 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 4: as a father and a husband, like you know, to 256 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,319 Speaker 4: support me. So I feel like the baby was the biggest, 257 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 4: like first like kind of tornado that hit our marriage 258 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 4: because we weren't communicating as clearly. 259 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 3: As we had in the past. 260 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 4: And I think also too, what was difficult for us 261 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,439 Speaker 4: was that whenever I would try to express myself, it 262 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 4: felt like I was saying he wasn't being a good 263 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 4: father and vice versa. 264 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 3: So it was really hard for us to receive. 265 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 4: That because we felt like we both were in our 266 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 4: own right and so I think that was the biggest 267 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,319 Speaker 4: challenge for us, was how do you communicate how you're 268 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,599 Speaker 4: feeling about something in a way that still feels like 269 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 4: positive and uplifting, but you know, still get your point across. 270 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 4: And I think that was that was when we started 271 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 4: to have the challenges in our marriage. 272 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 6: Aaron, you agree with that, I agree one hundred percent. Yeah, 273 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 6: she hit it on the head. I can't even add 274 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 6: to it. Yeah, it's perfect. 275 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,959 Speaker 8: How did you get sorry? How did you get through that? 276 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 2: Then? 277 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,439 Speaker 8: I mean, how did you get help outside help? Or 278 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,559 Speaker 8: did you just figure it out? 279 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,840 Speaker 5: I think we started to and it took a while, but. 280 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 6: We tried to communicate as best as possible and kept 281 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 6: coming Okay, this was the major change, and you kind 282 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,840 Speaker 6: of touched on it. What it was is we started 283 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 6: to attack the problem instead of each other. So we 284 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 6: started to attack the issue. And I think that's that 285 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 6: was the like big life for life for us. And 286 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 6: that's when things you started to see things change. 287 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 5: Things that she was saying to me. 288 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 6: I started to receive better, and I was like, I'd 289 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 6: never heard that, and she's been saying it for the longest, 290 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 6: but I wasn't receiving it that way, and vice versa. 291 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 6: So when we started to put the problem on the 292 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 6: table and said let's fix this us, let's attack this problem, 293 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 6: that's when we started to see major change. 294 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: And this is a couple we've are a question We've 295 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,360 Speaker 1: asked every couple as well. Did you get help in 296 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: working through that? Did you we all go to a 297 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: counselor or therapy of any kind of did you handle 298 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: it on your own? 299 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 3: We handled it on our own, Yeah, we we. 300 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 4: And the thing is we've like I had a sports 301 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 4: psychologist through the end of my track career, so I'm 302 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 4: very open to talking to people. 303 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 3: That's something that you know, Rossnein both would do. 304 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 4: And I would use my sports psychologist sometimes to help 305 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 4: me with issues in my marriage. But Ross I never 306 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 4: went together or felt the needs to go together, and 307 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 4: so no, we didn't have to get like a psychologist 308 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 4: to help us or go outside of our marriage. But 309 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 4: what I did want to add to that too was 310 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 4: just I'm just always I know that there are people 311 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 4: listening who maybe going through some similar things. 312 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 3: So just some of the lessons too that we learned 313 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 3: from that. 314 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 4: Because on top of that too, right, we kind of 315 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 4: mentioned it too, like we also were going through a 316 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 4: lot of life changes, and so I feel like Ross 317 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 4: went through a stage of depression first, I think, I 318 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 4: think when looking back and now I feel like I 319 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 4: did too. 320 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 3: There was a point of why, you know, but there. 321 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 4: He was also just kind of not himself, right because 322 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,600 Speaker 4: football was over this kind of identity crisis of like 323 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 4: what are we going to do next? 324 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 3: You know, it's just like really challenging to. 325 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 5: Figure out what's next. Who am I outside of football? 326 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 4: And I think what a lot of people do in 327 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 4: relationships is that like when you sign on to be 328 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 4: with somebody for life, you got to understand you're going 329 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 4: to love this person at their highs and at their lows. 330 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,080 Speaker 4: And I think people want to give up on that 331 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 4: person when they felt, oh they changed or they're not 332 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 4: happy whatever. But I feel like if you can love 333 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 4: on that person and show up for them and kind 334 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 4: of be a reflection of them being their best self, 335 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 4: then there comes a time when they're able to do 336 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 4: that for you. And so I think that that also 337 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 4: was was big for us at that time too. And 338 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 4: I think about you know, that phase of our relationship, 339 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 4: it was just really really tough. It wasn't just deuce 340 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 4: our son. It was also just a lot of life changes, 341 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 4: you know, like we were moving from allstin. It was 342 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 4: just so many things, And it would have been easy 343 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 4: at that time about this is too much like we 344 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 4: used to being bullissed. 345 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 3: Why are we at a two? Like why did they 346 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 3: go from a ten too? 347 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 5: Too? Start new businesses? Yeah, Yeah, it was just a lot, But. 348 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 4: I think I think that that's when that's when true 349 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 4: love is really tested, and that's when you're able to like. 350 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 4: And that's why we talk about growth so much, because 351 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 4: we went through it like we had to like learn 352 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 4: to love each other again and be there in the 353 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,120 Speaker 4: hard times and love each other unconditionally. 354 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: Yeah y'all laughing now exactly, But it was always funny. 355 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 3: It wasn't always funny, you know. 356 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 1: So you know, to the points you all are right 357 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: now making leads us to a question we have here, 358 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: What is the closest you all got in your relationship 359 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:13,119 Speaker 1: do you think to it ending for good? Not just 360 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,680 Speaker 1: a bump in the road, but did you have a 361 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: moment where you actually thought, damn, this might be it? 362 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 4: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, And I think 363 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 4: so I think that for that part, this was kind 364 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 4: of more on me where Okay, so thet really talking 365 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 4: about this is the public yet. But so you know, 366 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 4: as an athlete, right, like I think for me in particular, 367 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,120 Speaker 4: I know R also agree with it to some level, 368 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 4: Like you're always chasing these goals, right, so like it 369 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,360 Speaker 4: was like next year I break the American record, break 370 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 4: the War record, all of these things, right, and so 371 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,399 Speaker 4: I think that when I retired, it took me a 372 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 4: lot longer to let go of that like what's the 373 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,479 Speaker 4: next thing I'm gonna win at? 374 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 2: You know. 375 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 3: So it's like I had the baby, Okay, check out 376 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 3: my mom, but like what next? What next? What next? 377 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 4: And so like even like doing the Housewives, all the 378 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 4: ortunities that were coming my way, it was like me 379 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 4: just saying yes because I wanted to keep winning, like 380 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 4: I wanted to keep achieving. And so I hadn't really 381 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 4: settled into like that next phase of our life of 382 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,400 Speaker 4: like what it really looked like to be a mom 383 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 4: and to be a wife and not be this athlete 384 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 4: or this you know person that's always pursuing pursuing. And 385 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 4: my husband I think, hey, this is this is their 386 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 4: work and the girls and so you know, my husband 387 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 4: kept trying to explain, like she tell me, like you 388 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 4: got to slow down, like this is like now we 389 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 4: need to be focused on family, like this is the thing, 390 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 4: and I'm like family, family, We got that, like what 391 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 4: else are we doing? 392 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 3: Like you know, what else are we doing? And so 393 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 3: I think that in that. 394 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 4: Phase, we were both really unhappy because Ross wanted one 395 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 4: thing and I wanted something else. 396 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 3: And we're kind of like going in, you know, like 397 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 3: this for a little bit. 398 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 4: And my husband just had so much patience, you know 399 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 4: with me in allowing me to kind of like trip 400 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 4: up a little bit. 401 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 3: And then kind of come. 402 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 4: Back around to like, you know what, you're right, like, 403 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 4: this is the phase of our life now where it 404 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 4: is really family first, not just me saying oh, I'm 405 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 4: doing all for my family, but like literally being family 406 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 4: first and you know, and making that shift in my 407 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,640 Speaker 4: mind that I wasn't just this like individual athlete chasing success, 408 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 4: but I'm now this family person who. 409 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,719 Speaker 3: It's all about our family success. 410 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 4: So yeah, we went through that was our I think 411 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 4: that was even worse than with Deuce, like that like 412 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,959 Speaker 4: not being on the same page and like that concept 413 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 4: like no, and I'm also like no, we're not doing that. 414 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, like that tugging of like what 415 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 3: do we do next? That was that was the hardest 416 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 3: time for us. 417 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 5: For sure. 418 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 2: I so appreciate Sonya that vulnerability and that honesty because 419 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 2: I think, yes, you all had an extreme case because 420 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 2: you are. 421 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 8: Who you are and you've accomplished what you've accomplished. 422 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 2: But I think so many people resonate with that, where 423 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 2: do my dreams begin and end? And how does that 424 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,920 Speaker 2: fit in with a relationship and with a family. And 425 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 2: when you have gotten your value and your worth out 426 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,920 Speaker 2: of performance, out of RecA ignition of that performance, it 427 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,119 Speaker 2: is really hard when it goes away. I know that. 428 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 8: I think TJ and I can both speak to that specifically. 429 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 2: Maybe not on the same level, but certainly that makes 430 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 2: so much sense and being vulnerable and saying, hey, that 431 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 2: tested me. 432 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,400 Speaker 8: I'm curious when you were in that period. And first 433 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 8: of all, I'm just curious how long it lasted. 434 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 2: And and b did you ever while you were having 435 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 2: a disagreement or a fight, threatened that it was over, 436 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 2: threatened that it was going to leave, say I'm done, 437 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 2: did those words ever come out? 438 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 3: I would say it lasted about two years, Is that right? 439 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah? 440 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,120 Speaker 4: And I like so Rossni made a pact like when 441 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 4: we first meant that we would never use the D word, 442 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 4: Like we were always like really strict about that, like 443 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 4: we're never going to use the D word in our marriage. 444 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:51,119 Speaker 3: Like no matter what. 445 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 4: And I'm trying to think that I don't I don't 446 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 4: even think at that time we actually said it. 447 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 5: I think she never told me. She might have told 448 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:58,879 Speaker 5: a friend or something. 449 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 2: Him. 450 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 8: That's fair, that's fair question. 451 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 2: To me. 452 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 4: I think we kept that promise to each other, even 453 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 4: at our lowest and never say but we felt it, definitely, 454 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 4: we felt it. We can feel like this really might 455 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 4: not make it another year, but we never said it. 456 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 1: How often big or small do you fight? 457 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 5: Mm hmmm, we've been with those. The time here that 458 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,919 Speaker 5: we were talking about it was a lot. But currently 459 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 5: currently we've been in that honeymoon phase again. Now it's 460 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 5: more it's more of a discussion and a debate rather 461 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 5: than an argument. 462 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 1: That's good to hear. And that's what you're talking about, right, Aaron, 463 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 1: that's growth. All right, Let's stick to the house for 464 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 1: a second. Let's go with a few chores around the house, 465 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:02,159 Speaker 1: some of the basic things, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Let's just 466 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,200 Speaker 1: start with who does most of the cooking in the house. 467 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 1: I do, all right, I don't think. Yeah, Aaron's not 468 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 1: not even nodding the head on that one. That's uh, 469 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: that's probably the case. Is anyone to sign a lot too? 470 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,159 Speaker 3: So my husband will order my husband. She's not a 471 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,440 Speaker 3: Jesus a lot. But whenever we cook, which is not 472 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,440 Speaker 3: that much. I don't want I come getting too much credit. 473 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 7: Okay, now we want to qualify it because I asked 474 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 7: her and you just said me. And when someone does cook, 475 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 7: it's right. That's an honest about who cleans? 476 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 4: We both, yeah, but my husband's more of the clean freak, 477 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 4: so he's the one. Like when he cleans, I got 478 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 4: to move everything out of the way because he might 479 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 4: throw me away. 480 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, that. 481 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 8: And what about laundry. 482 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 6: She won't let me do the laundry. She would do 483 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 6: the laundry, and I'm a better folder. She she does 484 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,240 Speaker 6: the laundry well, and I fold fold. 485 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,200 Speaker 3: You'll put the colors with the whites. 486 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, look this everything, I got it, you know, 487 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 1: on behalf of all guys everywhere. Does it really matter? 488 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,840 Speaker 8: Yes, it absolutely does. The white turned gray or pink? 489 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:12,399 Speaker 3: It does it? 490 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 1: Though they do? 491 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 8: Yes, it matters, it mattered. 492 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: Okay, thanks, okay, fun, Actually we just played dumb, so 493 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 1: y'all keep doing it. 494 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 2: You're such because you know I'm a better folder than 495 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,639 Speaker 2: he is of the clothes, so therefore I actually like 496 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 2: folding clothes, though I fully honest, I get a sense 497 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,720 Speaker 2: of accomplishment sadly from that. 498 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,879 Speaker 1: And you know what, and Sonya too, since Sonya you 499 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,679 Speaker 1: were being honest, we will be honest. We do wash 500 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 1: and fold here in New York, like we have we 501 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,679 Speaker 1: we send it out anyway, nobody does. Somebody else does 502 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 1: our launder. 503 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:49,399 Speaker 8: That's a new thing though. It's because we don't have 504 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 8: a washer and dryer in this apartment. Otherwise we would 505 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 8: absolutely do it. 506 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 1: It's a long store. We'll get back to you. Let's 507 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 1: stick with this in the house for a second. We're 508 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: talking about fighting. You all don't. Don't do the fighting 509 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,560 Speaker 1: as much now, But what do you think about the idea? 510 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 1: Did you all ever go to bed angry? Some couple 511 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 1: say you absolutely should, shouldn't. Some therapists say, hell, yeah, 512 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,119 Speaker 1: it's okay. To where do you all fall in now? 513 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:16,879 Speaker 6: We definitely did. I think it's good now, but we 514 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 6: definitely I would. I would go to my little boom 515 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 6: boom room and get away. Yeah, and I'll sleep down there. 516 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 6: Some nights when it felt like we weren't just couldn't agree, 517 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 6: or even it wasn't even about agreeing. It was more 518 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 6: about us leaving a conversation feeling like. 519 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 5: We weren't heard. Yeah, both both ways. So I think 520 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 5: that's what it was. Frustrated both of us, like you're 521 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 5: not hearing what I'm saying. 522 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's I think it's unrealistic to say 523 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 4: never go to bed angry, Like that's just it's I 524 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 4: think it's impossible. If you've been with somebody for twenty 525 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,680 Speaker 4: plus years, there's just no way you're going to be 526 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,919 Speaker 4: like every night, if there's something happened, we're gonna make 527 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 4: up tonight and go to bed happy. It's just it's 528 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,159 Speaker 4: a nice goal to set. It's a nice you know, 529 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 4: it's a nice thing to try to achieve. But I 530 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 4: think it's unrealistic to say that every night you're gonna 531 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,120 Speaker 4: go to bed happy. I think that, and I think 532 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 4: sometimes you need that time, Like sometimes the day runs 533 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 4: out and you need I just need a moment. 534 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 3: Maybe tomorrow we can address the issue. 535 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 6: So yeah, And it's not to cut you off with it, 536 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,920 Speaker 6: but it's been a few times where I went down 537 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 6: to the boom boom room and had a chance to 538 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,919 Speaker 6: kind of decompress, and I might have came back up 539 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,359 Speaker 6: and were like, oh damn, I was tripping baby, my bad. 540 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's so good to hear. I know, I 541 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,920 Speaker 2: don't want to harp on the two years that were tough. 542 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: And I'm curious. 543 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,879 Speaker 2: I'm curious how you got out of it. How did 544 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,679 Speaker 2: you get out of it? How did you stop that cycle? 545 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 3: Oh man, good, good question. I think you know, first 546 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 3: of all, we are praying couple, so we will pray. 547 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,879 Speaker 4: We're actually fasting right now, so we praying fast so 548 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 4: you know, we keep God in the center of our marriage. 549 00:25:59,080 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 3: So that's number one. 550 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 4: And I think that through a lot of those tough times, 551 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 4: prayer has really helped us, you know. And we'll be 552 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,439 Speaker 4: mad now, grab his hand and just start praying. Now, 553 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 4: how are you gonna imagine why she. 554 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 3: Get mad at me? I'm praying for you, you know. 555 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 4: So I think prayer and then once again communication like 556 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 4: my husband and I I think that has been the 557 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 4: beauty of our marriage. Like we say the hard things, 558 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,359 Speaker 4: you know, we we communicate to a fault. So I 559 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 4: think that that is what really helped us, was like 560 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 4: just really trying to communicate and get to a good 561 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 4: place of you know, like and then and. 562 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 3: Then and then change behavior. 563 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 4: Let's let's give, let's give a little recognition to that 564 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,679 Speaker 4: as well. Like you know, if you're in a relationship 565 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,359 Speaker 4: and your partner is asking for something and it's something 566 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,880 Speaker 4: that is valid, and you want to stay in that situation, 567 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,159 Speaker 4: and you gotta have change behavior. So I think for me, 568 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 4: when I talk about those two years of us not 569 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 4: being on the same page, there was change behavior. 570 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,080 Speaker 3: Like I was like, you know what, like I do, 571 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 3: I do. 572 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 4: Respect what you're saying. I do want to honor my 573 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,440 Speaker 4: family in this way, and I may change. So that 574 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 4: also helps to bring back the joy and the love 575 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 4: to relationship is when you change, you know. 576 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:07,200 Speaker 1: I love that. 577 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 2: I think everyone wants to know, and I'm sure everyone 578 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: asks folks like you who have made it through the 579 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 2: tough times life's roller coaster and looking back now, what 580 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 2: relationship advice would you give other couples, So, someone who's 581 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 2: considering marriage, someone who's considering taking that next step in 582 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,119 Speaker 2: their relationship. 583 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,000 Speaker 8: When you think about the mistakes couples make, the mistakes. 584 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 2: Even you've made, what would be your best advice for 585 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,920 Speaker 2: a happy relationship. 586 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,600 Speaker 5: I go back to growth. 587 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 6: Be willing to grow with your partner and understand the 588 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:49,920 Speaker 6: growth that he or she, what journey they're on. Because 589 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 6: if you're like for us, we've been together for twenty years. 590 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 6: And I've said this before, it's felt like I've been 591 00:27:55,720 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 6: married to four different women. I've had to learn and 592 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,880 Speaker 6: relearn and relearn my wife and try to mold who 593 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 6: I've become because I'm also growing in a way as well, 594 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 6: so trying to just relearn and fall in love with 595 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 6: each other again. And then I think, like I mentioned before, 596 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:20,800 Speaker 6: the most important thing for me to give advice for 597 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:25,639 Speaker 6: is basically to attack the problem sometimes. I know as athletes, 598 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 6: you always you're almost triggered to win, and if you're 599 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 6: not winning, you're losing. There's no great So we've we've 600 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 6: kind of learned to let's win and attack the problem together. 601 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 5: And I think that's the best advice that I. 602 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,440 Speaker 1: Can give married the four different signs, which one was 603 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: your favorite? Ok So I'm kidding, Aaron, do not answer 604 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: that question. Just playing, just playing here, Okay, just kidding 605 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 1: you all. I want to ask about friendship. People say 606 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 1: it all the time, married to my best friend, and 607 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 1: that you hear that kind of stuff. Where does friendship 608 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: play in you all's relationship? What was the friendship even 609 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: before you started dating or did it not really develop 610 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 1: until you started an actual romantic relationship. 611 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you gotta be friends. You have to 612 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 3: be friends. 613 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 4: You have to actually like the person that you're doing 614 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 4: life with. So I think friendship is extremely important. I 615 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 4: remember when we went to marriage counseling before we got married, 616 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 4: or pastor required that we do marriage counseling, and he 617 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 4: said one of the key things he said was that 618 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,480 Speaker 4: she has to be a friend because everything else eventually 619 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 4: will fall off, right, Like, yes, you know you're gonna 620 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 4: romance to the death of it, but eventually even that 621 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 4: will fade, right like all those things. So friendship is 622 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 4: really important. So for us, No, we didn't have a 623 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 4: friendship prior to us dating. You know, we met in 624 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 4: college and our intentions were to kind of be boyfriend 625 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 4: girlfrienm the very beginning. But boy, did we build a 626 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 4: beautiful friendship along the way. Like we laughed together. I 627 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 4: could be with Ross, just me and Ross all the time. 628 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 4: I don't have to, you know, be with anybody else 629 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,479 Speaker 4: because we get each other. We laugh together like we're friends. 630 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 4: So I certainly think that that is extremely important that 631 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 4: the person that you choose to marry should be someone 632 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 4: that you like that you have a great friendship with 633 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 4: and you know, because that's what's going to help you 634 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 4: to stand the test of time. It's like, how much 635 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 4: do you actually really like this person? 636 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 5: You know, like it's rough. 637 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:28,920 Speaker 2: What compromises maybe even sacrifices have you each had to 638 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 2: make to make the relationship work. 639 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 4: That's a good question. I mean, that's a good question. No, 640 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 4: no one has ever asked us that. That's a really 641 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 4: good question. You want to go first, Bade, Yeah, No, 642 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 4: that's that's a really good question. I think that because 643 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,480 Speaker 4: because the reality is like I'm not I don't like 644 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,200 Speaker 4: the world's words sacrifice someone I could always feel as negative. 645 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 4: But it's like you're making this investment right, something that 646 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,240 Speaker 4: you may not want to do because you want to. 647 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 4: Like in sports, I'm not sacrificing my time. I'm investing 648 00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 4: my time because I want to be great, and so 649 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 4: I like to to keep that same lens on for 650 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 4: a relationship. But sometimes it does feel like sacrifice because 651 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 4: you are giving up something that's important to you to 652 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 4: make this other person happy. 653 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 3: So I think that we've sacrificed a lot, you know, 654 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 3: like through our relationship. 655 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 4: Like even I can think about for my husband, like 656 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 4: he when he would have his off season where he 657 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 4: should be training with the team because I was in season, 658 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 4: he would come and be with me, And there was 659 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 4: there was something lost there right, like he could have 660 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 4: gotten become a better athlete himself or built more team camaraderie, 661 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,720 Speaker 4: but he chose to come be with me. That that 662 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 4: was always a major sacrifice, you know, and vice versa. 663 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 4: I would go do my off season training in New 664 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 4: York it was freezing cold instead of being in Texas 665 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,560 Speaker 4: training with my teammates because I'm wanted to spend that 666 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 4: time with him. So I think if we were to 667 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 4: really think about our relationship throughout the years, there were 668 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,920 Speaker 4: tons of times we were both making sacrifices. My husband 669 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 4: started our chauffeur company in Texas, so we talked about 670 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 4: that time when he retired and figured out what he 671 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 4: wants to do next, and we started a show for 672 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 4: company and it was doing really well. And then I 673 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 4: got an opportunity to come to Atlanta for a job, 674 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 4: and my husband left Texas, left the business and came 675 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,680 Speaker 4: to Atlanta for us for me to pursue that opportunity. 676 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 4: So I just think there's this constant sacrificing and you know, 677 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 4: giving to your partner, whether it's for them to live 678 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 4: their dream or for them. 679 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 3: To be happy. 680 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 4: That's always happening in a relationship, and I think the 681 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 4: important thing to do is to just make sure that 682 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 4: it feels balanced because at some point in a relationship, 683 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 4: if it starts to feel like it's too heavy on 684 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 4: one person, then that person is going to start to 685 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 4: harbor resentment. And so you know, for me, I try 686 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 4: to be really mindful like my husband, I think he's 687 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 4: going to be. I'm saying it on national platform like 688 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 4: the head coach of the University of Texas one day, 689 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,360 Speaker 4: because I think he's like an amazing coach, but because 690 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 4: of life sacrifices, he hasn't finished, like, you know, all 691 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 4: the things that he needs to do to be able 692 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 4: to do that. So I'm like, okay, babe, it's your turn, 693 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,120 Speaker 4: Like what are we going to do for you to 694 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 4: get starting on your coaching journey? 695 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 3: And you know, do your thing. 696 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 4: So I think that we're all constantly making sacrifices for relationship, 697 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 4: but you got to check in with your partner and 698 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 4: make sure it's not too heavy. 699 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 3: On one side. 700 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,280 Speaker 1: Good and she gave you time to think of a 701 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 1: really good answer rather than answered like ten of them. 702 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: The last few things before we let you all go 703 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: back to this is I forgot that we moved it 704 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,360 Speaker 1: too far down. Money. How do you want handle money 705 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 1: in the house. There's always a thing with couples, joint accounts, 706 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 1: separate accounts. How does it work with you guys? 707 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 6: We have all three have my account, her account, and 708 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 6: then we have a joint account. But I do most 709 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 6: of them managing the money. 710 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 3: I'm a yellow girl. So thank God for rosscause, oh. 711 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,960 Speaker 6: Wow, I'm. 712 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:56,840 Speaker 1: That's balance. That's good. 713 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 2: I like that. 714 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 4: I like thank God for balance because we would be 715 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 4: all the street somewhere. It wasn't about to say, you know, 716 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 4: we're trying to live to we're like eightie, right. 717 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:10,640 Speaker 1: I love that. 718 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,680 Speaker 8: Do you all find that you have to work at 719 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:14,800 Speaker 8: keeping the spark alive? 720 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 2: I know that there was that instant attraction we talked 721 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,919 Speaker 2: about or you referenced, and we all know that, yes, 722 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 2: that that attraction can ebb and flow based on where 723 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 2: you are in your relationship. Do you actually make an 724 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,480 Speaker 2: effort to keep the spark alive? 725 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:30,879 Speaker 5: Yes? 726 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 6: I think that's very important. This is actually happy. She 727 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 6: doesn't even know this yet, but this has happened to 728 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 6: me maybe the last two years. So I used to 729 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,760 Speaker 6: always come up with cool little ideas for a birthday 730 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 6: or Valentine's or whatever little special occasion. And I would 731 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,319 Speaker 6: come up with cool little little things and it would 732 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,440 Speaker 6: keep the spark going. But with us being together for 733 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:58,239 Speaker 6: so I've ran out of ideas. So the last last year, 734 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,920 Speaker 6: I said, Mabe, what do you want? And that's the 735 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 6: first time that's ever happened coming from me. And she 736 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 6: didn't have an idea. 737 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:10,200 Speaker 5: So I just kind of didn't do much like like 738 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,719 Speaker 5: what she's used to and it was an issue. So 739 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:16,759 Speaker 5: and she said she didn't want none. 740 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:20,839 Speaker 8: T j oh, never believe a woman when she says 741 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,760 Speaker 8: she doesn't want anything. 742 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,920 Speaker 3: I never believe it doesn't want anything. 743 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 1: You know better, you didn't fall that he did. 744 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 6: Good hope after positive enough in the bank to get 745 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:39,319 Speaker 6: you off never So I was completely wrong on that one. 746 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,759 Speaker 6: So this year, I'm starting early and I'm asking and 747 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:44,120 Speaker 6: she gave me the same answer. 748 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,080 Speaker 5: So I went to jet chat chat GPT. 749 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 2: This is. 750 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:59,399 Speaker 4: But I mean, my jaws are hurting, But yes, Amy, 751 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,200 Speaker 4: I do think you got to be strategic and even 752 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 4: for me, like as a mom, Like you know, I 753 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 4: make an effort to like get my nails done, get 754 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,919 Speaker 4: my hair done, all of those things because I don't 755 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:08,560 Speaker 4: want to just like completely fall off. 756 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 3: I think that for a man, I obviously know. 757 00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:16,040 Speaker 4: That, you know, like attraction is not just the hearts right, Yes, yes, 758 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,719 Speaker 4: we're like all all this stuff too, So you know, 759 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,640 Speaker 4: like I do try to make an effort to like 760 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,120 Speaker 4: keep up with all of those things. 761 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,360 Speaker 3: Like I know the things that he likes, so I 762 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,120 Speaker 3: try to you know, do those things. And and then now, 763 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,319 Speaker 3: so we do have two under two. 764 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,520 Speaker 4: Well we just he just turned to so we have 765 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 4: a two year old a six month old, So like 766 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:35,320 Speaker 4: in the trenches again like trenches trenches of parenting. But 767 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,560 Speaker 4: you know, we still try to make time for each other, 768 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,279 Speaker 4: and we have lots of plans for like when the 769 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 4: babies get a little bit older, to like really start 770 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:42,839 Speaker 4: to do stuff again just us. 771 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,560 Speaker 3: So yeah, we try to be intentional. I think it's very. 772 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,920 Speaker 1: Important to be what are your feelings on date nights 773 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 1: and that, and do you all do them have set 774 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 1: date nights? 775 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 3: We don't have set date nights, I think largely in 776 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 3: part because of where our lives are right now is 777 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:57,839 Speaker 3: just not it's hard for us. 778 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,320 Speaker 4: We say we want to do stuff, but then we 779 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,360 Speaker 4: don't want to leave our kids, so nobody like we 780 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:03,560 Speaker 4: always want to have our kids. 781 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 3: It makes us both happy. 782 00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:06,920 Speaker 4: So what we do, what we try to do is 783 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:08,920 Speaker 4: like we're cooking together, so like I'll find a recipe 784 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,600 Speaker 4: and we'll do something like that together and that satisfies us. 785 00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,320 Speaker 3: Or like my husband loves movies. 786 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,120 Speaker 4: I'm not a big movie person or TV person, but 787 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 4: we'll you know, put the best together down early and 788 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,239 Speaker 4: watch something together and that feels like bonding time. Like 789 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,240 Speaker 4: that's what we're fasting right now. So that's like feels 790 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,239 Speaker 4: like once again, like just us doing something, just the 791 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,920 Speaker 4: two of us. So it's like we try to do 792 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,640 Speaker 4: things like that that we're both into. You know, one 793 00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,360 Speaker 4: person might bring to the other person will do it 794 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 4: together and it feels like just our special thing. But 795 00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 4: we're not like hardcore on like Sturtaday night at seven o'clock, 796 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:36,040 Speaker 4: drop everything you're doing. 797 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 1: I'm just curious. What are you all watching together? You 798 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,440 Speaker 1: all have a show or something in particular you all 799 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: are following right now. We're always curious because we watch 800 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:45,479 Speaker 1: so much stuff together. 801 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 4: Well, my husband is like, like, my husband loves YouTube 802 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 4: and like, so we're always watching stuff that we can 803 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,319 Speaker 4: learn from. So we're like watching a series or movies 804 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 4: right now, but it's like whatever's going on in the world, 805 00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,360 Speaker 4: Like we want to understand more about what's going on, 806 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 4: like you know, and my husband loves like black history, 807 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,160 Speaker 4: so we're always like watching documentaries on like our history. 808 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:10,719 Speaker 3: So not really exciting stuff, but we do it together nonetheless. 809 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,080 Speaker 1: O black history. 810 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,560 Speaker 8: Wait what did you wait? I didn't hear that. Wait, 811 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 8: we didn't hear that. 812 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 1: What did you just say? 813 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,160 Speaker 3: And help and help and help? 814 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:22,560 Speaker 1: Wait? 815 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,000 Speaker 8: Okay, I'm curious. 816 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 2: I'm curious on you if you could get your husband 817 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,520 Speaker 2: to watch anything with you, like a movie, a show, 818 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,640 Speaker 2: a series, what would it be. 819 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,239 Speaker 4: So, you know, I'm a realiz, like I love, like 820 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 4: married to medicine, all that kind of stuff. So like 821 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 4: I'll you know, beg him to like watch stuff like 822 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,600 Speaker 4: that with me. But I'm also really busy too, so 823 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:42,920 Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not tripping right. 824 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,280 Speaker 3: Now, Like I don't have much time. 825 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,360 Speaker 4: I'm trying to grow a business, grow this family, so 826 00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,680 Speaker 4: I'm really not too you know picky on that kind 827 00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:52,720 Speaker 4: of stuff. But yeah, I like my married to medicines 828 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 4: and all those kind of shows. 829 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,960 Speaker 1: Robot just made me think of something else. You both 830 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,840 Speaker 1: of you answer this, if you could get your partner 831 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,160 Speaker 1: to do something thing with you that you know your 832 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,640 Speaker 1: partner doesn't like. Right, it's not she doesn't usually like 833 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 1: to go to I don't know, a hockey match, or 834 00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 1: he doesn't usually like to go to whatever. 835 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:11,759 Speaker 2: What is? 836 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,279 Speaker 1: Is there one thing you wish that you could get 837 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,640 Speaker 1: them on board with doing? 838 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:18,480 Speaker 2: For me? 839 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:19,879 Speaker 5: I think you know this one. 840 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:27,200 Speaker 8: Oh, skydiving. We've discussed this as well. 841 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:29,840 Speaker 3: Really have you done it before? 842 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:31,279 Speaker 8: Neither one of us have. 843 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 1: Done it before. I made the same face you just 844 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 1: made when every time she brings it up. 845 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,680 Speaker 2: I want to go skydiving. I want to go I 846 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,600 Speaker 2: want to do a lot of that stuff that he's 847 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 2: not that into. 848 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,720 Speaker 4: He did it, He's done it, and it was amazing. 849 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 4: Like I was like, oh my gosh, I want to 850 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,840 Speaker 4: do this, and then I was like, hell, no, I 851 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:49,600 Speaker 4: should do this. 852 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:51,720 Speaker 5: It's gonna take you to another level. 853 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:54,960 Speaker 1: So tell you what do you want him to do? 854 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 3: I think for me it would be more. 855 00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,399 Speaker 4: I mean it's just like simple stuff like I wish 856 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,279 Speaker 4: my husband would like to go shopping, like I love, 857 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,359 Speaker 4: like buying stuff for the family, clothes like around the house, 858 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,280 Speaker 4: and he's just never into that stuff. So yeah, simple 859 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 4: simple girl stuff like come with stop shoppings together, shops 860 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:12,759 Speaker 4: have girlfriends. 861 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,239 Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. He wants her to 862 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,560 Speaker 1: jump out a plane and she will. Let's go shopping, 863 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:22,800 Speaker 1: Let's go to TJ Max. 864 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,760 Speaker 3: So different, simple stuff, simple stuff. 865 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 8: Oh my goodness, y'all are amazing. What is next for you? 866 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 8: Do you all have any couple goals for twenty twenty six? 867 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 2: Yeah? 868 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:40,160 Speaker 4: I mean so my husband and I have done everything 869 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,320 Speaker 4: together and now we're doing a business together. So like 870 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,600 Speaker 4: we have built this pajama brand coordinates, you know, just 871 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 4: the two of us like growing this brand, and it's 872 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,520 Speaker 4: been amazing to do it together because I feel like 873 00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,560 Speaker 4: in the areas that I'm weak, he's strong. So it's 874 00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,600 Speaker 4: been this amazing balance. And so as far as not 875 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:02,040 Speaker 4: relationship goal, say necessarily, but just as like our you know, 876 00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,480 Speaker 4: as us as a couple, like continue to figure ot 877 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:05,680 Speaker 4: how we can grow this business. We want it to 878 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,680 Speaker 4: be like a family business and be like a legacy business. 879 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 4: So that would be I think one of my primary 880 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,840 Speaker 4: goals for twenty twenty six, and then I think, like 881 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,440 Speaker 4: relationship wise, just staying in this space of like honeymooning 882 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,680 Speaker 4: and growth and you know. 883 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,239 Speaker 3: Like just this pure love that we have for to 884 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 3: the right now. We really just want to stay in 885 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 3: that space. 886 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,719 Speaker 4: Ah ha ha. 887 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 3: Don't you even dare? 888 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,720 Speaker 8: You got three boys? You got three boys? 889 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 2: Right? 890 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 3: And Amy? Do you know who selects the gender of 891 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:35,000 Speaker 3: these children? 892 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:35,440 Speaker 5: God? 893 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 8: Yes he does. 894 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,480 Speaker 3: So he had three chances to get a girl. 895 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 1: You have struck out, so it's okay, done, But skydiving 896 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,439 Speaker 1: or another baby? Tell me signinga sky diving or another baby? 897 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:49,960 Speaker 1: Which one I diving? 898 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 3: WHOA, Okay, I'm jumping out. I get that. 899 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:57,240 Speaker 8: It's funny. 900 00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,719 Speaker 2: My brother and his wife same thing. He wanted a girl, 901 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,839 Speaker 2: ended up with three boys. He wanted to keep going. 902 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,719 Speaker 2: She's like, no, because we'll just end up with the fourth. 903 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,480 Speaker 8: So no, thank you. I totally get that. 904 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,160 Speaker 1: Guys, this was absolutely awesome. And this is why every 905 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 1: single couple we talked to last year we finished and 906 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: we felt better as a couple, or we grew as 907 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,440 Speaker 1: a couple after we talked to every single couple because 908 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,840 Speaker 1: we didn't fill alone. You all go into some of 909 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 1: the same stuff we're going through, and you all are 910 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,520 Speaker 1: just a delight. It's good to see people doing so 911 00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 1: well who have gone through hell and you know it's 912 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,360 Speaker 1: gonna be okay. We've been through our hell plenty in 913 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,320 Speaker 1: life and made a bunch of screw ups, but we 914 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,040 Speaker 1: found each other and here we are and we're happy 915 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,719 Speaker 1: and we're so glad to be able to talk to 916 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,040 Speaker 1: you too. Really we need to. We would love to 917 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,279 Speaker 1: catch up with you all in Atlanta. We come down 918 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,880 Speaker 1: there quite a bit, so we love to catch up 919 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:49,000 Speaker 1: with you. 920 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:50,719 Speaker 3: Love to love love that. 921 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,319 Speaker 4: Thank you guys for having us like this is a treat, Yeah, 922 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,520 Speaker 4: because we haven't had like a relationship kind of in 923 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:57,200 Speaker 4: a long time. 924 00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is really fun. 925 00:42:59,360 --> 00:42:59,879 Speaker 3: Thanks for thinking. 926 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,840 Speaker 2: I guarantee you anyone who is listening right now feels 927 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,160 Speaker 2: better about their relationship, feels more hopeful. It is. I mean, 928 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,040 Speaker 2: I know it's hard to talk about the tough times, 929 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,840 Speaker 2: but that actually is so helpful to hear. Y'all went 930 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,040 Speaker 2: through two years of hell and look at you now, 931 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,439 Speaker 2: So congratulations on all your. 932 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:21,160 Speaker 8: Success, on your beautiful family that's gonna stay. Three boys, 933 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,920 Speaker 8: a family of a family of five. 934 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,200 Speaker 4: I mean, you want to. 935 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,719 Speaker 8: The growth is going to be spiritual, not physical. 936 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 2: Sonya, Richards Ross, Aaron Ross, thank y'all so much and 937 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,040 Speaker 2: happy Valentine's Day by 938 00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,759 Speaker 3: The way, Thank you to you, thank you guys.