1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,360
Speaker 1: This is intergalactic John. This is Airlien Salm on the

2
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:09,280
Speaker 1: International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some human

3
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,440
Speaker 1: stories coming up, not alien, but before we make a landing,

4
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,520
Speaker 1: stick around for this two minute not alien ad break

5
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,639
Speaker 1: before we get to these interstellar stories. O.

6
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:23,000
Speaker 2: My wife had a wild phase before marriage, and now

7
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,440
Speaker 2: I feel left out.

8
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:25,760
Speaker 3: Time to go back in Zime.

9
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,960
Speaker 4: I've been married to my wife for five years, together

10
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,120
Speaker 4: for eight, and we have two beautiful children. She's been

11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,560
Speaker 4: my first everything, my first girlfriend, my first real relationship,

12
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,960
Speaker 4: my first in every sense.

13
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,800
Speaker 2: She was the first person to breastfeed.

14
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,960
Speaker 3: You that you can remember, probably hmmm, that you could remember.

15
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,919
Speaker 4: I didn't really date in high school or college because honestly,

16
00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,559
Speaker 4: I didn't take care of myself. I lacked confidence and

17
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,640
Speaker 4: didn't feel attractive, so I stayed focused on other things

18
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,800
Speaker 4: like studying the Blade. By the way, this comes from

19
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,560
Speaker 4: user head specific sixty seven sixty three, and if you

20
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,479
Speaker 4: want usbmit your own stories, go to the Arslashokay Storytime subreddit.

21
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,760
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and op says. My wife, on

22
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:14,399
Speaker 2: the other hand, had a more typical college experience quote unquote.

23
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,600
Speaker 3: She went to the University of Miami. She went to

24
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,440
Speaker 3: the University of Arizona.

25
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,360
Speaker 2: Technically that one's not a issue, yeah, but they still

26
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,039
Speaker 2: get after it.

27
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:28,959
Speaker 4: She had a few relationships and her phase as she

28
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,600
Speaker 4: was extremely attractive.

29
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,680
Speaker 2: She even did stuff with two guys at the same job.

30
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,760
Speaker 4: She was upfront about it when we started dating, and

31
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,480
Speaker 4: it never bothered me, although I tried not to think

32
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:42,319
Speaker 4: about it too much.

33
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:43,800
Speaker 2: Now here's the thing.

34
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,720
Speaker 4: Over the years, she's become quite reserved when it comes

35
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,960
Speaker 4: to intimacy. She says she had her wild side during college,

36
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,800
Speaker 4: and now that she's done with that phase, she prefers

37
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,360
Speaker 4: a more traditional approach to intimacy. She says she's tried

38
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,160
Speaker 4: everything she wanted to and know what she enjoys and

39
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,960
Speaker 4: what she doesn't in the boudoir, and she wants to

40
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,560
Speaker 4: build intimacy on love, not wild lust. And I completely

41
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 4: respect that. I'm not trying to do something which doesn't

42
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,720
Speaker 4: excite her in the bedroom. But lately I've changed. I'm

43
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,440
Speaker 4: in the best shape of my life physically, mentally and emotionally.

44
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,640
Speaker 4: Even my family and friends are kind of shocked with

45
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,120
Speaker 4: how I look. My wife loves the new me and

46
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 4: says she finds me more attractive than ever. But to

47
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,440
Speaker 4: be blunt, I don't care that my wife finds me

48
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,560
Speaker 4: attractive because I know I look good now. Oh and

49
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,120
Speaker 4: it's not like her finding me more attractive will change

50
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,720
Speaker 4: anything in the bedroom department.

51
00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:42,960
Speaker 3: So I'm getting Spider Man when he finds Venom in

52
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,120
Speaker 3: Spider Man three.

53
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm hearing the music play in my head right now.

54
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:51,120
Speaker 3: To your wire going on the street. Dude, he's looking

55
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:55,000
Speaker 3: at the suit like, ooh yeah, feeling good.

56
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,840
Speaker 4: I would say that your wife finding you way more

57
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:03,080
Speaker 4: attractive could do something in the bedroom department.

58
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,760
Speaker 3: Could spark some more you know, past things that she did,

59
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,560
Speaker 3: wanting her to explore more.

60
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,400
Speaker 4: I find it concerning, though, that you seem to be

61
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,960
Speaker 4: like I'm maybe.

62
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:13,840
Speaker 3: Cocky with it.

63
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,360
Speaker 4: Was your wife partially responsible for you becoming this version

64
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:17,919
Speaker 4: of yourself?

65
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,919
Speaker 3: Like has this been your gym fuel recently? I think

66
00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:25,200
Speaker 3: he wants more action from others, That's what I'm getting.

67
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,480
Speaker 4: Anyways, My hormones right now are all over the place,

68
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,480
Speaker 4: and I can't help but feel like I missed my

69
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 4: chance to experience that same fun side of life. I

70
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,520
Speaker 4: never had the exploration, the experimentation, or the freedom. Now

71
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,680
Speaker 4: that I finally feel great about myself. That door seems closed.

72
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,320
Speaker 4: I brought it up with my sister, who I'm close with,

73
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,600
Speaker 4: and she was surprisingly blunt. She said, it's unfair that

74
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,400
Speaker 4: my wife got to have those experiences and now expects

75
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,560
Speaker 4: me to settle for less than what she once enjoyed.

76
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,400
Speaker 2: That hit me harder than I expected.

77
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 4: But my sister also loves me so much and said

78
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,240
Speaker 4: some crazy stuff like I deserve to have an experience

79
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,280
Speaker 4: with at least one other woman in my life, or

80
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,800
Speaker 4: else I'll keep presenting my wife.

81
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:10,840
Speaker 2: Hmmm hm, remember first and only everything? First and only everything, dude.

82
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:15,920
Speaker 3: After having our special guests from yesterday come through, sounds

83
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,760
Speaker 3: like you may need to talk to a spicy therapist

84
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,840
Speaker 3: or a dominatrix. I can maybe guide you through this.

85
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you'll need guidance to get on the

86
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,119
Speaker 2: other side. M M. I love my wife. I don't

87
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:30,920
Speaker 2: want to hurt her.

88
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,719
Speaker 4: I'm not thinking of cheating or anything like that, but

89
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,880
Speaker 4: I do feel stuck between respecting her boundaries and acknowledging

90
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,839
Speaker 4: my own desires that never had a chance to exist.

91
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,679
Speaker 4: Am I wrong for feeling this way? Has anyone else

92
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,000
Speaker 4: been in this situation? How did you cope and we

93
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,120
Speaker 4: have some top comments.

94
00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:50,200
Speaker 3: I remember when I was working out a lot, my

95
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:53,000
Speaker 3: hormones were up, I was feeling good all the time,

96
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,120
Speaker 3: mental clarity, and I had a lot of energy. And

97
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,719
Speaker 3: my other take on this is, if you're feeling this

98
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,800
Speaker 3: way about your wife, you might need to, I don't know,

99
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,479
Speaker 3: find a new passion or a new hobby or something

100
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,159
Speaker 3: and instead of thinking, oh, my wife doesn't want to

101
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,360
Speaker 3: do this, Oh my wife had these experiences I don't

102
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,880
Speaker 3: want to do this and having that mint like start

103
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,120
Speaker 3: falling in love with something else. So that's not corrupting

104
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,200
Speaker 3: your mind because it sounds like you do have resentment

105
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,440
Speaker 3: towards your wife. It's like fighting an addiction of someone's,

106
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:26,200
Speaker 3: Like you know, I'm addicted to pornography super super hard.

107
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,320
Speaker 3: You need to fall in love with, like, I don't know, painting,

108
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,200
Speaker 3: and then you love to paint so much that you

109
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,520
Speaker 3: don't even think about that aspect. I'm kind of getting

110
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,240
Speaker 3: that vibe. I could be wrong, but that's my thoughts.

111
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,440
Speaker 2: Like I'm so hot, I want to put myself out there.

112
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,960
Speaker 2: It's like, well, you're married, yeah, I don't know.

113
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,320
Speaker 4: You don't want to put yourself out there because you

114
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,640
Speaker 4: don't want to cheat, but it's like, yeah, I don't know.

115
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,600
Speaker 2: You want to feel the validation that you're hot and

116
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:53,000
Speaker 2: saw it after yeah desired perhaps Top comments RK eighty

117
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,360
Speaker 2: eight fourteen. RK says, I would be careful taking your

118
00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,080
Speaker 2: sister's advice about your relationship. The right thing is to

119
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,679
Speaker 2: have an honest conversation with your wife and be direct.

120
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:07,360
Speaker 2: The butt demon replies, this guy's sister hates his wife.

121
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,880
Speaker 4: Conclusion Equal twenty two to ninety says the grass is

122
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,040
Speaker 4: never greener on the other side, it's just different grass

123
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,680
Speaker 4: from someone who is in the spicy hobbied world. Get really,

124
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,400
Speaker 4: really clear on what it is you actually want. Every

125
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,120
Speaker 4: fantasy sounds great in your imagination, but whatever it is

126
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,120
Speaker 4: you want to explore, it will not be the same

127
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,680
Speaker 4: when played out with your wife or any other woman,

128
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,160
Speaker 4: if you break up or whatever. It's a tale as

129
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,279
Speaker 4: old as time for a married person to have tons

130
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,680
Speaker 4: of ideas of what leaving their domesticated problems will be like.

131
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,000
Speaker 4: They think they'll be swimming in kitty or men will

132
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,360
Speaker 4: be lining up for them, and reality is.

133
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:43,640
Speaker 2: Very, very different.

134
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,400
Speaker 4: They are often disappointed in wish they could have their

135
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,880
Speaker 4: marriage and family back, it would be better to talk

136
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,279
Speaker 4: to your wife, likely in therapy, that you feel like

137
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,719
Speaker 4: you need to spice things up. You won't get anywhere

138
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,000
Speaker 4: by just being mad at her. Mm and we have

139
00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,080
Speaker 4: an update. I agree with those comments that it's.

140
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,599
Speaker 2: Clearly your sister has it out for your wife.

141
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,320
Speaker 4: Maybe she feels like because she was your first everything,

142
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,400
Speaker 4: you shouldn't have married her and needed no experience.

143
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 2: I definitely picked up on that vibe.

144
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,880
Speaker 3: Agreed, but we got an day we do.

145
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,960
Speaker 4: Hey everyone, I posted this last night and went to bed.

146
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,640
Speaker 4: I woke up a couple hours ago, read through a

147
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,440
Speaker 4: lot of replies thanks for all the honesty, and decided

148
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,560
Speaker 4: to have a conversation with my wife this morning.

149
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,480
Speaker 2: My wife and I are usually very honest with each other.

150
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,400
Speaker 4: I was upfront with her about how I've been feeling,

151
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:35,160
Speaker 4: specifically that I haven't been feeling very desired lately. She

152
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,320
Speaker 4: was surprised at first and even a little shocked, because

153
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,480
Speaker 4: we're usually pretty.

154
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,280
Speaker 2: Lovey dovey with each other.

155
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,960
Speaker 4: At first, she thought I was joking, but I told

156
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,680
Speaker 4: her I was serious. She reassured me that she loves

157
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,120
Speaker 4: me more than she can ever put into words, and

158
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:52,120
Speaker 4: that she finds me incredibly attractive. I asked her why

159
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,040
Speaker 4: I have to initiate intimacy most of the time, and

160
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,120
Speaker 4: that seemed to strike a chord with her. She got

161
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,440
Speaker 4: quiet and then told me she would make it effort

162
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,720
Speaker 4: to initiate more often, and even kissed me then to

163
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,040
Speaker 4: show she meant it. She wanted to do it there,

164
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,800
Speaker 4: but I rejected her and told her I wasn't done.

165
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,360
Speaker 4: I told her that initiating more was a start, but

166
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,680
Speaker 4: what I really wanted was way, way, way more than that.

167
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,160
Speaker 4: I opened up about how she's had the chance to

168
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,600
Speaker 4: explore her fantasies and experiment in her past, while I

169
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,520
Speaker 4: never had that chance. I told her about the attention

170
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,200
Speaker 4: I've been getting from other women recently, like, for example,

171
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,960
Speaker 4: three women at the library I go to regularly who've

172
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,360
Speaker 4: been very upfront with me, and how I've turned all

173
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,920
Speaker 4: of them down, but that it still made me think.

174
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 4: I told her, I don't feel desired at all at home,

175
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,640
Speaker 4: and in fact, I feel more desired at the library

176
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,319
Speaker 4: or park or even at work when I talk to women.

177
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:43,520
Speaker 2: Then I told her.

178
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 4: Directly, I want to seriously spice up our bedroom life.

179
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,640
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about just small things. I told her.

180
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,280
Speaker 4: I'm in the best shape of my life, and right

181
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:55,120
Speaker 4: now I want to feel that kind of quote unquote wild.

182
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,720
Speaker 2: Lust that I never got to experience. Not in a

183
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:58,440
Speaker 2: reckless way.

184
00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:01,040
Speaker 4: I just want that passion and at least for the

185
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,880
Speaker 4: next few years while I feel this good in my skin.

186
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 3: Okay, does he want another person a part of his

187
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,200
Speaker 3: spicy life or does he just want to feel more?

188
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,520
Speaker 3: I don't know wild with his wife, I.

189
00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,080
Speaker 2: Don't know, man. I think that that comment about like

190
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 2: what do you actually want?

191
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,959
Speaker 3: Because this threw me off whenever he mentioned the three librarians.

192
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,960
Speaker 3: I have options. I could do something.

193
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, okay, so does she. I'm sure.

194
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,800
Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, you're gonna look if you keep up with

195
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,080
Speaker 3: your appearances, you're gonna look good for a while. Like

196
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,240
Speaker 3: I know a guy that's like fifty one. It looks

197
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,200
Speaker 3: great because he works out regularly. Like it's gonna keep

198
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,520
Speaker 3: up with you if you keep up with it.

199
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,440
Speaker 2: To my surprise, my wife was very receptive to what

200
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,080
Speaker 2: I said. We sat down and talked more openly than

201
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,360
Speaker 2: we have in a long time. I told her some

202
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,880
Speaker 2: of the fantasies in my head that I'd like to explore,

203
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,319
Speaker 2: and she actually listened and took me seriously. Okay.

204
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,520
Speaker 3: See, Okay, conversation goes a long ways, Yes it does.

205
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,520
Speaker 4: It's a wonder what communication can do in a relationship.

206
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,440
Speaker 4: I think you probably could have communicated this.

207
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,720
Speaker 2: A lot earlier. Oh absolutely, Let that be a lesson

208
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,360
Speaker 2: communicate often and early.

209
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,840
Speaker 3: This feels good, it feels nice, he feels good.

210
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,319
Speaker 2: It is good.

211
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:14,840
Speaker 4: Okay, but then something happened that I wasn't expected. She

212
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:19,319
Speaker 4: broke down in tears. She asked if I still found

213
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,199
Speaker 4: her attractive, and that hurt to hear, because of course

214
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:26,320
Speaker 4: I do. I hugged her, comforted her, and told her

215
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,280
Speaker 4: I still find her as beautiful as ever. Yes, she's

216
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,080
Speaker 4: gone through some body changes since giving birth, but that

217
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,640
Speaker 4: doesn't change how I feel.

218
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,440
Speaker 2: About her at all. So yeah, that's probably my final update.

219
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,640
Speaker 4: We still have a lot to talk about, but for

220
00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,600
Speaker 4: the first time in a while, I feel heard and hopeful.

221
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,400
Speaker 2: Thank you all again for your input.

222
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,160
Speaker 4: It really gave me the push I needed to be

223
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,320
Speaker 4: honest with myself and with my wife. Comments number one,

224
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,840
Speaker 4: I have a feeling this is definitely not over comment too.

225
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,720
Speaker 4: He'll be back posting about how he was blindsided by

226
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,320
Speaker 4: the divorce after things got spicier II, he convinced her

227
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,600
Speaker 4: she needed to do things she didn't want to do

228
00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:03,559
Speaker 4: to keep him happy, and she finally left.

229
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,839
Speaker 2: Remind me six months Oh my god.

230
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,840
Speaker 4: Comment three. These are the type of posts that I

231
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,880
Speaker 4: pray our rage bait, but I know all of them

232
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,640
Speaker 4: can't be reply. I've watched a very similar scenario play

233
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 4: out with a couple. I know they were each other's

234
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,400
Speaker 4: first everything. Eighteen years and two kids later, he started

235
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,600
Speaker 4: getting itchy about everything he missed out on, and they

236
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,280
Speaker 4: decided to open the marriage. There was at least a

237
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 4: year and a half of conversation leading to this point,

238
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,199
Speaker 4: which is, by the way, not what OPI is discussing doing.

239
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,680
Speaker 4: She now has a local boyfriend and out of town

240
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,200
Speaker 4: guy and her husband. I'm not sure what his exact

241
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,680
Speaker 4: situation is, but from my vantage point, they seem to

242
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,440
Speaker 4: be living like roommates who occasionally f I think they

243
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,839
Speaker 4: are staying married mostly out of habit. Coming forward, it's

244
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,000
Speaker 4: pretty effed up to bring up how often other women

245
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,200
Speaker 4: are hitting on him. The first time he bothers to

246
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,360
Speaker 4: talk to his wife about this. It's not even a

247
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,240
Speaker 4: subtle way to say that he's going to seek out

248
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,840
Speaker 4: other women if his wife doesn't comply with his demands,

249
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,360
Speaker 4: especially when they have two children presumably under five years old.

250
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,920
Speaker 4: Reply says, this guy one hundred percent asked his wife

251
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,959
Speaker 4: if she would have a manachantois with him in a

252
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,679
Speaker 4: random woman who hit on him at the library.

253
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,200
Speaker 2: Well, right, that story.

254
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,839
Speaker 3: Wow, that's uh, that's wild.

255
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,880
Speaker 2: The comments did not like. Ope.

256
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,520
Speaker 4: Well, first of all, earlier in this story, you're like,

257
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,120
Speaker 4: I don't even care that my wife thinks I'm attractive.

258
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,120
Speaker 4: I know I am, And then later on you like,

259
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,520
Speaker 4: ask her if she still thinks you're attractive. It's like,

260
00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,200
Speaker 4: clearly you care, and you also attach her ability to

261
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:27,320
Speaker 4: initiate the spicy time with you as a large indicator

262
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,400
Speaker 4: on whether or not she does find you attractive. Just

263
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,120
Speaker 4: go to your wife and say, hey, I want to

264
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,560
Speaker 4: see what you learned at that sorority.

265
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,920
Speaker 2: Oh God, show me what you learn Show me.

266
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,840
Speaker 3: We got another story coming on up, we do. My

267
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,520
Speaker 3: neighbor used my husband's photos to catfish.

268
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,840
Speaker 2: That's not my husband, that's my neighbor.

269
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:49,280
Speaker 3: My thirty five male husband and I thirty female have

270
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,160
Speaker 3: been married for eight years but separated for the last

271
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,880
Speaker 3: fourteen months. I need help and advice on how to

272
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,480
Speaker 3: rekindle our relationship. We are currently not on speaking terms

273
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,439
Speaker 3: and all of our arrangements go through our lawyers. However,

274
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,320
Speaker 3: I will have an opportunity over Christmas to clear the

275
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,480
Speaker 3: air and set things straight as you will be flying

276
00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,000
Speaker 3: in from Sydney to spend times with the kids. By

277
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,360
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Katrina ninety two and if

278
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,800
Speaker 3: you want to make your own stories, go to the

279
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,320
Speaker 3: r slash Okay story time subreddit. I'm Riley, I'm Dakota.

280
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,040
Speaker 3: No p says, So what happened? I received a Facebook

281
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,280
Speaker 3: message in September last year that my husband was talking

282
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:31,360
Speaker 3: and exchanging unclosed photos with other women on Tender. We

283
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 3: spoke on the phone for a bit and the only

284
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 3: proof she had was screenshots of their conversations and his profile.

285
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,400
Speaker 3: Long story short, I downloaded Tender and found his profile

286
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:48,000
Speaker 3: with his location one kilometer away. Interesting, isn't he not

287
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:49,600
Speaker 3: in the country?

288
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, well we know that it's the neighbor now yet

289
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,760
Speaker 2: I mean we we do, but we didn't have a

290
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,640
Speaker 2: title for this story. Yeah, that would be odd getting

291
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:00,720
Speaker 2: than your girlfriends.

292
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,679
Speaker 4: I mean if I saw this, I would immediately be like,

293
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,800
Speaker 4: is my husband secretly lying to me about not living

294
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,840
Speaker 4: in the same country as me anymore.

295
00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,360
Speaker 2: Like down the block, just like that's yeah, that's a

296
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:10,960
Speaker 2: weird move.

297
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,480
Speaker 3: I was convinced that he was cheating and we had

298
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,679
Speaker 3: a terrible fallout that evening. My family came over to

299
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,640
Speaker 3: calm the situation, but instead it escalated, and then my

300
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,920
Speaker 3: brother wanted and grabbed a hold of my husband. The

301
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,320
Speaker 3: neighbors called the police, and my husband was asked to

302
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,160
Speaker 3: pack a few things and stay elsewhere for a while.

303
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:34,080
Speaker 3: We separated shortly after. He has since moved to Sydney

304
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,720
Speaker 3: to be closer with his dailing father, but caes her

305
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,400
Speaker 3: kids for a weekend twice a month. Fast forward to

306
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,280
Speaker 3: the beginning of November this year, my neighbors showed up

307
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,000
Speaker 3: on my doorstep to tell me that her husband was

308
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:51,520
Speaker 3: catfishing women on dating apps using my husband's photos.

309
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,160
Speaker 4: Oh that's got to be a pretty sinking feeling when

310
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,920
Speaker 4: you realize, like, oh, did I implode my whole marriage

311
00:14:58,960 --> 00:14:59,640
Speaker 4: for no reason.

312
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,000
Speaker 3: He downloaded these photos from a MacBook that we lent

313
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,080
Speaker 3: to him during the VID and some of these photos

314
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:11,000
Speaker 3: were immature nature, including photos of meet The police are

315
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,600
Speaker 3: currently dealing with this all of this has been relayed

316
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,640
Speaker 3: to my husband through his lawyer, but his response has

317
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,840
Speaker 3: been lukewarm. He said we could talk about it over Christmas.

318
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,360
Speaker 3: I'm so scared that we might be down too far

319
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,560
Speaker 3: the rabbit hole and he will likely push for a divorce,

320
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,960
Speaker 3: even though I know that we love each other deeply.

321
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:35,480
Speaker 3: This situation has taken a massive toll on our mental health, finances,

322
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,600
Speaker 3: and the well being of our three kids. What is

323
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,520
Speaker 3: the best way to approach him in December and make

324
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,080
Speaker 3: amends we have some comments. I'd write all this down.

325
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 3: I'd write down all your feelings down on paper. See

326
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,320
Speaker 3: how you feel, give him a big welcome. But then

327
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,640
Speaker 3: it also is two things. One you want to show

328
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 3: him how much you love him, but then also you

329
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:59,360
Speaker 3: don't want to love baumbam And it's like, ah, it's crazy,

330
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,080
Speaker 3: it's a weird place to be in.

331
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:06,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say, try to go in without expectations. Okay,

332
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,560
Speaker 4: the expectation or the desire of just like wanting it

333
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,040
Speaker 4: to be fixed, will probably set you up for failure.

334
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 2: Because it'll make you desperate.

335
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

336
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 4: So instead of going in being like oriented in that way,

337
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 4: orient yourself in a way where you have control over everything,

338
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,320
Speaker 4: being like I just want to tell them exactly what

339
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,640
Speaker 4: I'm thinking and be like, this is exactly how I'm feeling,

340
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,280
Speaker 4: and this is exactly what I would want to say,

341
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,440
Speaker 4: and not.

342
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,640
Speaker 2: Be like, all right, what is he going to say?

343
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,960
Speaker 2: How do I plan it? Just be like, is what happened?

344
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:36,040
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, Like misunderstanding was hurt from a lie that

345
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,960
Speaker 4: and you know I didn't know what was going on.

346
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,960
Speaker 2: I know what to trust. Blah blah blah, whatever happened,

347
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 2: whatever you feel happened. Yeah, Like, I think we'd be

348
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,520
Speaker 2: good for the kids. I think it'd be good for us.

349
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,160
Speaker 2: I don't think this has to happen. I'm honestly not

350
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 2: qualified to tell you how to get your husband back

351
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:49,880
Speaker 2: right now.

352
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're just giving advice and reading stories. We're giving

353
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 3: our best advice. We have not been through this before.

354
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 3: Yan really says, Oh, there's another thought. Perhaps reach out

355
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,440
Speaker 3: to any and all of his old friends, make sure

356
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,160
Speaker 3: they all know the truth. That's a good point. Eddie

357
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 3: forty two says Op. Try to salvage what you can,

358
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:10,359
Speaker 3: but the situation was deeply damaging. I'm not blaming you

359
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,639
Speaker 3: for leaving when you had what seemed like clear proof

360
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,639
Speaker 3: of cheating, that's understandable, but the violent, traumatic way it

361
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:21,360
Speaker 3: unfolded screwed you both over thanks to your neighbor and

362
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 3: your brother, the old one doing someone is never acceptable,

363
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,560
Speaker 3: even if your husband had actually cheated, Imagine how we

364
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:32,159
Speaker 3: feel as knowing it was completely unwarranted. Marriage means shared family,

365
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,600
Speaker 3: and having your family physically do a harmful act to

366
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,680
Speaker 3: him would make anyone hesitant to reconcile. If you want

367
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 3: to rebuild this, everyone needs to be accountable for the mistakes,

368
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 3: especially your brother. It's possible, but it will take some

369
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:51,919
Speaker 3: serious work and time. Joe Holification says, apologize to your husband,

370
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,639
Speaker 3: but don't expect forgiveness, And I think this is just

371
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:59,640
Speaker 3: a term of not expecting things. Have low expectations, if

372
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,000
Speaker 3: any none. Just apologize to what you can.

373
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 2: And just pray. Just get real clear about exactly how

374
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,000
Speaker 2: you think and feel about it.

375
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 3: So we have an update two months later. I think

376
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 3: this is after Thanksgiving or like December.

377
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,080
Speaker 2: Post Christmas.

378
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, post conversation. So unfortunately, after having sat down

379
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,399
Speaker 3: and discussed things, it was decided that our marriage was

380
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 3: beyond repair and that we should go our separate ways.

381
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,440
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, Opie. He is currently in therapy and has

382
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 3: requested that we have a clean break with no further

383
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 3: contact in the future. I intend to respect his wishes

384
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:42,160
Speaker 3: and will continue to communicate through his lawyer on matters

385
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 3: that concern our kids. I have since cleared the air

386
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,399
Speaker 3: with our families and friends, and still actively working towards

387
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 3: repairing his reputation. I would also like to clarify the

388
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,639
Speaker 3: harmful act and my parents came over in the first place.

389
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,879
Speaker 3: The night of the argument. I called my mother to

390
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,359
Speaker 3: ask if I could drop off our kids and if

391
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,919
Speaker 3: they could spend the evening there, but she was concerned

392
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,160
Speaker 3: about my emotional state and ask that I stay put

393
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,919
Speaker 3: and they would come to fetch the kids instead. They

394
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,359
Speaker 3: arrived and my brother outed to stay outside while my

395
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 3: parents came inside to grab the kids and their backs.

396
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 3: At this point, my father asked to talk to my

397
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 3: ex and calmed the situation. My mom dragged me away

398
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,920
Speaker 3: to get the kids and their bags ready. My brother

399
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,720
Speaker 3: was very confused when we came outside and was triggered

400
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,280
Speaker 3: by my mom saying that my ex might have cheated.

401
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 3: My brother reacted the moment my ex walked out and

402
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,119
Speaker 3: grabbed my arm in a non violent way, leading to

403
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 3: the one O two ing and scuffle on the front lawn.

404
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: He was remorseful and apologized, even before we found out

405
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 3: my ex was not to blame. It is a series

406
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 3: and unfortunate events that has changed many lives and draw

407
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: up my family of love and happiness. I don't know, man,

408
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 3: your brother doing that, I don't know. I mean, you

409
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 3: could get caught up in the moment sometimes, but yikes, yikes, iikeyikes.

410
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 3: It would suck not hearing that. But if I love someone,

411
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,119
Speaker 3: I'd probably try to hear them out or something. It

412
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 3: just doesn't feel like you try to hear your husband out,

413
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 3: which is understandable too.

414
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure there are more problems

415
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 2: than just this, you think, so there had to have been.

416
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's had to have been a final straw situation

417
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,120
Speaker 4: or just a culmination of like, no, I don't want this,

418
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 4: because it's like you see a Tinder profile with me

419
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,159
Speaker 4: on it a kilometer away and you think that you

420
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 4: just immediately are like, and that is definitive proof. I

421
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 4: gotta assume when he was converted about it, he's like,

422
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,199
Speaker 4: what are you talking about?

423
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 3: It's tough all the way around. I'm just imagining you

424
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:42,119
Speaker 3: getting catfished, and it's a combination of your old acting

425
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 3: photos and you with really good lighting, but it is

426
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 3: clearly looks like you were edited out in the studio.

427
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 4: Yeah no, I would just be like I would quite

428
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 4: literally rather be dead than use dating apps.

429
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 3: I've now had to focus on my kids, my depression,

430
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 3: and coming to terms with the divorce. I will never forget,

431
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 3: but hopefully the pain will not be his intense any

432
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 3: other thoughts.

433
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 4: My dude, the best you can do is just move

434
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 4: forward and try to be the good parent for your kids.

435
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, agreed. Commeder says you were responsible for all this.

436
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 3: Poor guy. Don't knock like you are the victim here.

437
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 3: Don't say a word to him, and watch as he

438
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,119
Speaker 3: finds a wife more deserving and a family more loving.

439
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 3: He deserves that much. Oh my gosh, I don't know

440
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 3: about that one, but dude, that's crazy. I'm not gonna

441
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 3: read those comments. You guys are just gonna both have

442
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 3: to move on, and that's that's how this one turned out. Sucks.

443
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, you'll pee.

444
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's hard not to jump to conclusions

445
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 4: in that situation, I'm sure.

446
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,479
Speaker 3: And the real person to blame here is the neighbor.

447
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 2: Really, it's all online dating's fault.

448
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, what was he getting out of this? And can

449
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 3: we sue him for emotional damage?

450
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 2: Can we the police are involved in this? I truly

451
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: can't imagine the state you have to be in to

452
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 2: have a fake dating profile.

453
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 4: Using other people's pictures and information. Yeah, what level of

454
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 4: just absolutely lost do you have to be to have

455
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 4: to pretend to be someone else talking to people who

456
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 4: were The whole plan is let's meet up.

457
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: They're going to meet you and find out you're not

458
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 2: that person.

459
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 3: He probably did it to get money out of them,

460
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 3: to extort them, you know, stuff like that. It is

461
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 3: crazy the wheld we live in. But you can make

462
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 3: a change by being a good person. And we had

463
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 3: another story coming up.

464
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yay, I'm getting tired of my husband.

465
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,439
Speaker 3: Sounds like you need a break, don't we?

466
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 2: All.

467
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 4: This also comes direct from our subreddit, Oh Boy, Oh Boy.

468
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 4: I twenty three female, have been married to my husband,

469
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 4: twenty four male for five years and we've been together

470
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 4: for six in total. We met young and quickly started

471
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,159
Speaker 4: building a life together. But lately I've been feeling like

472
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 4: I'm drowning in this relationship, and I don't know if

473
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 4: I'm being unreasonable or finally waking up.

474
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 3: Uh oh.

475
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user useful Remove sixty

476
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 4: seven eighty three, and if you want to submit your

477
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

478
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,639
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and Op says to give you

479
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 4: some context, both my husband and I work full time

480
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 4: eight am to six pm Monday through Friday, and Saturdays

481
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 4: from eight am to noon. I also attend university classes

482
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 4: every night from seven pm to ten thirty pm. It's

483
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 4: an exhausting routine, but I've been pushing through. We live

484
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 4: with my mother in law, his mom, fifty four female.

485
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 2: Just the three of us.

486
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 4: The house is hers. My relationship with her is okay

487
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 4: on the surface, but after five years of living under

488
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 4: her roof, I feel emotionally worn out. Since it's her house,

489
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 4: everything has to be done her way. She constantly criticizes

490
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 4: the way I clean, so I eventually stopped doing it

491
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 4: all together. She made it clear she'd rather do it herself. However,

492
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 4: my husband and I are the ones paying for it.

493
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:05,360
Speaker 4: Everything water, electricity, internet, groceries, all out of our pocket.

494
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 4: She doesn't work, but she owns a property in another

495
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 4: city and receives monthly rental income. Even so, every time

496
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 4: my husband asks her to contribute to anything, she says

497
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 4: she doesn't have money. On top of all that, I'm

498
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 4: the one who cooks all the meals, washes all the dishes,

499
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 4: and does all the laundry for myself and my husband.

500
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 4: It feels like I'm doing everything physically, emotionally and financially

501
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 4: while getting very little support in return.

502
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 3: Oh oh pee, I'm so sorry.

503
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 2: I mean sounds like a lot.

504
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,640
Speaker 3: It is crazy over the years how much we've expected

505
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: our spouses to do. Because it used to be, you know,

506
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 3: in a traditional sense, it was the husband would go

507
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 3: to work and the wife would stay home and prepare

508
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 3: the house and take care of the house. Now it's

509
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 3: changed to, you know, one partner maybe go into work

510
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 3: full time and then also on top of that happy

511
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 3: to take care of the house and the kids. Well,

512
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 3: the other guy only has to work or you have

513
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 3: to split the load up. And then on that part

514
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 3: even more, it's like, oh, I want to start a business,

515
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 3: I want to do it with my wife. Oh I

516
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: need a friend, I need to like you know, I

517
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,719
Speaker 3: need to like blow off some steam. I'm gonna get

518
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,399
Speaker 3: my wife to do that. It's just we have a

519
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 3: lot of expectations over smouse.

520
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 4: We used to live in a society where you could

521
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 4: thrive off of single income.

522
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 2: We just don't live in that place anymore.

523
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 4: And you know, regardless of traditional I think socially, I

524
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 4: think attitudes have changed. It does make sense. It makes

525
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 4: sense to have in a relationship with two people. One

526
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 4: person can make all of the money and one person

527
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 4: takes care of the house. Yeah, don't even gender it

528
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 4: like that just makes sense. You literally can't do that

529
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 4: in the vast majority of cases because in order to survive,

530
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 4: y'all both need to have an income.

531
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 3: I would love to be a YouTube dad or my

532
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 3: boss girl.

533
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

534
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,640
Speaker 3: Wife just goes out takes care of it, and I'm

535
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 3: just at home podcasting with my boys, doing whatever, taking

536
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 3: care of the kid. They're like a livestream with the kid.

537
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 3: I don't know.

538
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 2: I don't counts as being a house husband.

539
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 3: I'm podcasting with the boys right now.

540
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:13,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, all your chores not getting done, don't get done?

541
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 2: Nuh uh yeah, who by who but my kid?

542
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 3: They can learn to do it. I can try them.

543
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 3: They can't seem a fun dad. It's time to play laundry.

544
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 3: I'd love playing laundry.

545
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,360
Speaker 4: On a real level, though I would immediately just express

546
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 4: these feelings to your husband in a non confrontational, non

547
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 4: accusatory way, just in a This is how I feel.

548
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm drowning in everything.

549
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

550
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 4: I also suffer from anxiety and depression, though I'm currently

551
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 4: in therapy and trying hard to manage it. But lately

552
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 4: I've noticed that I don't even want to go home anymore.

553
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 4: I feel suffocated in that house. On weekends, I often

554
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 4: choose to stay at my mom's, dads or sister's place,

555
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,679
Speaker 4: anywhere but home. That's how unbearable things have become. Now

556
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 4: About my husband, I love him, but sometimes I feel

557
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 4: completely invisible to him. He does things that genuinely hurt me,

558
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 4: and I don't even think he realizes the damage. For example,

559
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 4: a while ago, he admitted that he had been having

560
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 4: spicy related conversations with a female friend on a separate

561
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 4: social media account.

562
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 3: Brother. Oh my gosh, man, this guy stinks.

563
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:26,719
Speaker 2: I got nothing to say to that.

564
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 4: He told her he wanted to have a three way

565
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 4: with me and her, and he only told me this

566
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 4: after deleting the entire conversation.

567
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 2: Oh all right, that's a great way to establish trust. No, no,

568
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 2: I was talking to this other girl, but it was

569
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 2: just about having a three way, and I deleted the

570
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,959
Speaker 2: whole conversation so your feelings can't get hurt from reading it.

571
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: He said he just wanted to test the waters to

572
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 2: see if I'd be open to the idea.

573
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 4: That's insane, because that's not something you start talking to

574
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 4: a stranger about before you talk to your wife about.

575
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 3: I feel like you want that to happen. It's multiple

576
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 3: conversations with your partner and then a game plan. But

577
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 3: it seems like you skipped a lot of steps there.

578
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 3: Many steps were skipped.

579
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 4: I felt shocked and disrespected, not because of the suggestion

580
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 4: of a three way, but specifically because he had private,

581
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 4: spicy discussions involving me without my knowledge or consent. I've

582
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 4: tried to move on from that, but last week something

583
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 4: happened that really broke me. On Thursday, my dad suddenly

584
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 4: became very sick. He had high blood pressure, was vomiting

585
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 4: and sweating cold, potential signs of a heart attack or stroke.

586
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 4: He was rushed to the hospital and I was at

587
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 4: work when I got the news. I started crying and

588
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 4: panicking and messaged my husband right away, hoping for support.

589
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 4: His response was, he sent me two silly stickers like

590
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 4: goofy emojis or gifts.

591
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 2: That's it.

592
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, yeah.

593
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 2: You divorced this man, dude, I don't even care.

594
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 4: Like if my dad has a stroke, my dad goes

595
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 4: to the hospital and you send me a gift, I go, oh, okay,

596
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 4: never talking to you again.

597
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, hot take. I feel like men in this world

598
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 3: we need to I don't know, we need a class

599
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 3: on how to be a man, how to be a

600
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 3: supportive osmon, I'm losing out.

601
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 4: That's honestly some of the craziest stuff I've read that

602
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 4: you say that and then mid panic a deck he

603
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 4: sends you like the crying smiley face like emoji.

604
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 3: Or the crazy eyes like with the tongue out.

605
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like what. I was shocked. I told him

606
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 2: that if that's how he was going to respond, I

607
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 2: didn't want to talk to him anymore.

608
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 4: He simply replied that he didn't do anything wrong. No apology,

609
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 4: no follow up. He never checked in on me or

610
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 4: asked how my dad was doing. Since then, I haven't

611
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 4: spoken to him. I feel completely alone. He hasn't reached

612
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 4: out or tried to fix things, And I keep asking

613
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 4: myself why am I always the one making the effort?

614
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 4: Why am I carrying this entire relationship on my back.

615
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 4: I'm seriously considering asking for a break. I just want

616
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 4: some time to breathe and figure out if this is

617
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 4: the life I want? Do you want a life with

618
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 4: a guy who's definitely.

619
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: Cheating on you right now? By the way, Do you

620
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 2: want a guy who can be so emotionally absent from

621
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 2: your life because he's probably still talking to other women

622
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 2: that he could do this to you and say he

623
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 2: finds nothing wrong with it?

624
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 3: Opie, you know the answer. It's a tough solution. You

625
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 3: know what you gotta do here.

626
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 2: You gotta leave this guy.

627
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 3: Yep, just like that, just Thano snap.

628
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 4: Part of me feels guilty, like maybe I'm overreacting or

629
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 4: giving up too soon. So Reddit, am I wrong for

630
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 4: wanting a break? Am I just running away? Or is

631
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 4: this a sign I've already been carrying too much for

632
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 4: too long? There is an edit here About two months ago,

633
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 4: I had a serious conversation with my husband about everything,

634
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,719
Speaker 4: how unhappy I was living in his mother's house, how

635
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 4: we have no privacy, and how the constant stress was

636
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 4: damaging our relationship. I told him I felt like we

637
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 4: were supporting someone who wasn't contributing and that it was

638
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 4: making us turn against each other. Unfortunately, nothing changed after

639
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 4: that talk. Things have just gotten worse since then. Goodness,

640
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 4: there are some comments that I'm sure will be very

641
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 4: supportive of you.

642
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, cuse you need to leave this guy.

643
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 3: It's gonna be a tough one, tough season. You know

644
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 3: what you gotta do.

645
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 2: Go.

646
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 4: Comments number one, take a break and reevaluate the relationship.

647
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 4: If you feel unloved and used, why hang on to it.

648
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 4: Life is too short to be miserable.

649
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 2: Comment two.

650
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 4: Well, the having spicy conversations with other women would be

651
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 4: enough to divorce in my opinion, So with all the

652
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 4: other mother in law drama, I would say divorce.

653
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 2: Comment three. As someone who.

654
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 4: Started seeing their partner when we were both in high school,

655
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 4: there definitely gets to be itchy feet moments aka running.

656
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 4: This doesn't sound like it's about the time or age

657
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 4: you got together. This has to do with minimizing valid

658
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 4: concerns instead of talking them out for how to address

659
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 4: the coworker situation is straight up wrong. Would trying a

660
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 4: weekend at a hotel together? Help with reconnection? Think you

661
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 4: should look for another place to live, whether it's together

662
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 4: or not. Hope, He says. We traveled in December of

663
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 4: twenty twenty five to take a vacation. We were away

664
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 4: for fifteen days. Everything went really well, but when we

665
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 4: got back, it felt like it didn't help much. You know,

666
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 4: I'm not sure if it's the atmosphere at home that's

667
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 4: so heavy that it's affecting us without us.

668
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 2: Even realizing it. And there's an update. I feel like

669
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 2: your partner is still talking to other women.

670
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's worse. But another worse thing is not supporting

671
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 3: you at all.

672
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,239
Speaker 4: And I feel like the two halves of that is

673
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 4: that because he's absent in your relationship, it would make

674
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 4: sense that he's finding that somewhere else.

675
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, complete sense. Yeah.

676
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 4: Update, Hi again, I'm back with an update, But first

677
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 4: I want to answer some questions that came up.

678
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 2: Can you move in with your parents?

679
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 4: Unfortunately no, My mother is emotionally unstable, and I think

680
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 4: living together would only make things worse. She lives with

681
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 4: my stepfather in a one bedroom house, and on top

682
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 4: of that, she and my husband don't get along. My

683
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 4: dad lives with his wife and two young children, ziblings

684
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 4: of mine, age fifteen and thirteen, in a two bedroom home,

685
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 4: one room for them, the other for the kids.

686
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 2: So there is no space for us there for us.

687
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: Start thinking about you? Can you stay?

688
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 3: What about the kids?

689
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: Oh? I just thought she was talking about me and husband.

690
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, don't just abandon the kids.

691
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 3: Dakota says, abandoning the children.

692
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 2: Abandon you. I abandoned my boy.

693
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, just I don't know. The wolves take care of it.

694
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 3: I've done it before.

695
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 2: Can you stay in college dorms? No, I'm not in

696
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 2: the US, and where I live there are no college dorms,

697
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 2: especially not for my small private university.

698
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 4: Why did you get married so young? Well, my life

699
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 4: has always been a bit chaotic. At eighteen, I moved

700
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 4: out to live with my sister, and soon after my

701
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 4: husband and I got married. Coming from a toxic, unstable

702
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 4: family background, I think I saw marriage as a way

703
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 4: to create stability, but now I see it also came

704
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 4: with emotional baggage. I wasn't ready for I'm by but

705
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 4: I've always been clear that I'm monogamous. Still, he once

706
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 4: had spicy conversations with another woman and even suggested a

707
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 4: threesome without ever talking to me first. It feels like

708
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 4: he used my spicy proclivity as a justification for his fantasies.

709
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 2: But not hours nikes. He has issue with cornography and

710
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 2: says he's trying to get better.

711
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 4: How's your dad doing? Thankfully, he's doing better now. He's

712
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 4: on medication and being monitored. But honestly, if he had

713
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 4: gotten into the hospital any later, he might not have

714
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 4: made it. And now here's the update. Last night, I

715
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 4: sat down and talked to my husband. I skipped class

716
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 4: because this conversation could not wait. We talked for several hours.

717
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 4: I was honest and reinforced how emotionally exhausted I feel.

718
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,399
Speaker 3: Also take back the kid thing. I don't think they

719
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 3: have kids. I thought they did. I forgot they were

720
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 3: this young. Apologies everyone, apologies. It's hard to keep up

721
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 3: with these stories after a while. Kids, no kids, some kids,

722
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 3: one kid kid on the way. So yeah, I don't

723
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 3: know what she meant by us. She meant both of them. Wow,

724
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 3: moving out of the house. Ah, dang.

725
00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 2: If your partner.

726
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 4: Everyone was like, yeah, and talking to this other person,

727
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 4: but I was only asking them if they wanted to

728
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 4: do something with the two of us, and I deleted

729
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 4: all of the messages. You go, wow, Richard Nixon, that's

730
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,280
Speaker 4: pretty convenient.

731
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 2: Huh. I guess I'll just believe you.

732
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 4: No, you go, hey, why don't you go take that

733
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 4: person and find another third because it's not gonna be me.

734
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,800
Speaker 3: I'm done, yep, and I'm now an Alaskan fisherman.

735
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 4: You know how easy it is to not cheat on

736
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 4: your partner. It is so easy to not cheat on

737
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 4: your partner.

738
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 3: You know how easy it is to break up with

739
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 3: someone you don't find interesting anymore and then continue another relationship.

740
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 3: It's pretty easy too.

741
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 4: The sad thing is that that's harder than not cheating.

742
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 4: Some people, they're like, ooh, I can't.

743
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,479
Speaker 2: So I'll just be completely wrong.

744
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 4: Instead of letting someone down, I'll just silently do it

745
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 4: behind their backs until they find out, and I'll make

746
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 4: everything worse. So the update Sam here, we're gonna get

747
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 4: back to the stories, but here's three minutes bads from

748
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 4: our sponsors how his actions have been hurting me and

749
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 4: made it clear that it is no longer possible for

750
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 4: us to keep living with his mother. He listened, we cried,

751
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 4: and it seems that finally he understood the seriousness of

752
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,240
Speaker 4: the situation. He realized that if he doesn't change now,

753
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 4: I will change my life, with or without him. We've

754
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 4: agreed to urgently look for a place of our own.

755
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 4: The rent where we live is extremely high, we're close

756
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 4: to international borders, and buying a home isn't an option

757
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,439
Speaker 4: right now. I gave us a two or three month

758
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,760
Speaker 4: deadline to find something. That's the time I'm giving myself

759
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 4: till then. I'll stay at my sister's place. It's small,

760
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 4: and I'll be sleeping on the floor, but honestly, I'd

761
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 4: rather do that than stay in a house where I

762
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 4: feel like I can't breathe. Yes, I asked for a break,

763
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 4: a short one, just enough to clear my head and

764
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 4: remind myself that I deserve peace. He was surprised and

765
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 4: even desperate, probably because this time I wasn't just threatening.

766
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 4: I was leaving, even if temporarily. There's a little bit

767
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:02,959
Speaker 4: more story left.

768
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 3: Good move on you, awesome sister and Opie. I hope

769
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 3: you can find a solution here. I think if you

770
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 3: hear the crashing of waves on a boat, and you

771
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 3: see yourself in your dreams kind of in a cold

772
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 3: but yet homie. Boat should probably look into Alaskan fishing.

773
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 3: I think you might like that. Keep your ears and

774
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 3: dreams open to that.

775
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, an Alaskan crab fisherman.

776
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, or just a fisherman in general, because I mean,

777
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 3: they make money. And then you just do that for

778
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 3: like six months, go back to school. What's six months?

779
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 2: What's six months on an Alaskan crab boat?

780
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 3: Come on.

781
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 2: So that's where we're at.

782
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 4: I don't know how this story ends, but I know

783
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 4: it can't go on the way it was. I'm going

784
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 4: to use this time to take care of myself. Self

785
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 4: care isn't just about skincare. It's always about caring for

786
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 4: your mind. And so tomorrow I have an appointment with

787
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:52,760
Speaker 4: my therapist and I plan to open up to her.

788
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 2: About all of this.

789
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 4: I hope to find the peace I need. I'm young,

790
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 4: but I've already been through a lot and I don't

791
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 4: want to carry any more unnecessary he burdens in my life.

792
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. And you know,

793
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 4: good luck moving forward. You guys can work through it.

794
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 4: You guys can work through it.

795
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would be leaving, Yeah, but I'm not you.

796
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 4: I think having flirtatious, spicy conversations with someone over the

797
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 4: phone and then deleting all of them and then telling

798
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 4: you what they are.

799
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 2: Is too suspicious for me to look past.

800
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 4: I think him reacting the way he did when your

801
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 4: father was in the hospital too much for me to

802
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 4: look past. There's a guy sometimes I watch him for

803
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 4: like philosophical stuff, a really good one he had. Sometimes

804
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 4: there are things that are done or said that are

805
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 4: so venomous it cannot be undone. It's basically this is

806
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 4: a video about like not talking when you're angry. So

807
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 4: he shakes up two sodas and he opens one right

808
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 4: away and it like explodes, and then he talks about it,

809
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 4: and then he opens up the other one and it

810
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 4: doesn't explode. It's basically a warning like don't talk when

811
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 4: you're angry. But it's like, don't talk when you're angry

812
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 4: because you can't take certain things back. So this isn't

813
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 4: really in the context of not talking when you're angry.

814
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 4: But I think the way that he did those things,

815
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 4: he cannot take those back, Like I was you.

816
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: It's already out of the bottle. You can't put it

817
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 2: back in the bottle, yep.

818
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 3: And you got to remember that in this scenario too,

819
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 3: there are two red code Mountain dews and you're on

820
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 3: a white ruck, so you can't clean that up.

821
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 2: Got cod red mount de Cora. God love me some

822
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 2: cold group cold cod red down Dow.

823
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 3: But guys, we got one more story before we close

824
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 3: this out. I'm gonna find that for us real quick.

825
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 3: My husband's parents are overstepping our boundaries and it's straining

826
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 3: our relationship.

827
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 2: Telling him to step off.

828
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 3: Backstory, My husband and I have been married for almost

829
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 3: three years now. His parents have always been very emotional

830
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 3: and needy. When we were first married, we lived three

831
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 3: hours away from them, his first time living away from home,

832
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,919
Speaker 3: and we saw them at least every month. By the way,

833
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 3: this comes from throwaway the in laws and if you

834
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,479
Speaker 3: want to speak old stories, go to the r slash

835
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 3: Okay story time subbur I'm Riley, I'm Dakota, and Obi says.

836
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 3: In between seeing them, they would skype with us a

837
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 3: few times a week, an average of an hour conversation

838
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,720
Speaker 3: each time, as well as call, text, and email.

839
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 2: It seems like a lot.

840
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 3: I finally told my husband that this was too much

841
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 3: for me. He agreed, and we cut it back a little. Yeah,

842
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 3: we cut it back to forty five minutes each call. Yeah, exactly, No, no, no,

843
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 3: fifty incrementally. Now, since that time, there have been little

844
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 3: things here and there where they have clearly gone too

845
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 3: far in their involvement. Some things include opening our mouth,

846
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 3: going through our check book they said they thought it

847
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 3: was theirs, and calling our lawyer regarding a situation they

848
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 3: thought wasn't being handled. Well, these are all beside the point,

849
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 3: but being shared so you can see they have some

850
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 3: problems with respecting our boundaries. Real quick. You know what

851
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 3: I want to see here? I would to see my

852
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 3: husband do laundry. I want to see him cook a meal.

853
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,320
Speaker 3: I want to see him change his oil?

854
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: Can he do that?

855
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 2: Can you change your oil? Oh? He can't.

856
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 3: Oh it's because his parents did everything for him.

857
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 2: Might just be and that means you're now.

858
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 3: Gonna have to be the caretaker. Oh you're the new mommy.

859
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 3: Guys who's buying groceries and cooking for their child.

860
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 2: Mama changed the oil, Mama.

861
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 3: No you didn't. There's oil everywhere how is there oil

862
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 3: in the house, babe? There's oil everywhere. We're like to

863
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 3: oh so besides that, thanks. We do it all right

864
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 3: until we moved eighteen hours away in January, so it's

865
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 3: in school. They became increasingly clinging. They came to visit

866
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 3: for a week less than a month after we moved,

867
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 3: and are constantly sending us emails and text about how

868
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,240
Speaker 3: sad they are. We scott often and try to humor

869
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 3: them with pep talks, but it's never enough. Just last

870
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 3: week I received a text from my father in law

871
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 3: that his pariontal soul needs to be watered. Who's sprinkling

872
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 3: the rain drops on that?

873
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 2: I guess the children. The children must feed your parental soul.

874
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 3: My husband receives two weeks off per six month period.

875
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 3: He works forty hours a week on top of having

876
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 3: fifteen credit hours, so I really don't see him all

877
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 3: that much. Those vacations are very important to us. He

878
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 3: has a week off in August and in November. When

879
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 3: his parents heard about the November week off, they booked

880
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 3: a flight to come and stay with us for ten

881
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 3: days uninvited. They also invited his siblings down in August.

882
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 3: We are going camping with my family because I understand

883
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,479
Speaker 3: that they miss their son. I invited my in laws

884
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 3: as well. Next thing I know, they're inviting their relatives

885
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 3: to join and trying to convince my husband just to

886
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 3: camp for a few days and then leave early and

887
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 3: spend the rest of his time in a different nearby

888
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 3: city with them. Who's your keeper, husband, Mommy and daddy.

889
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 4: I mean, it's one thing to be like we should

890
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 4: get the family together. It's another thing to be like, hey,

891
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 4: we're hijacking.

892
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 2: Your week off.

893
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,439
Speaker 3: Yep, you're gonna do this in this.

894
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know you have plans to spend time with

895
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 4: your wife. Forget your wife, Come spend time with your family.

896
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: It's crazy you has siblings too. This seems like something

897
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,240
Speaker 3: they do with the only child, but he has other siblings.

898
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, it's just like come up for a weekend, dude,

899
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:26,840
Speaker 2: It's not a come on.

900
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 3: When I heard about this, I got upset that they

901
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 3: would overstep their invitation and try to steal them away

902
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 3: from time with me and my family. So I put

903
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 3: the kebash on it and uninvited them. Needless to say,

904
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 3: they were not too happy today. Done done. I need

905
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 3: to watch Law Order It was last time you've seen

906
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:46,760
Speaker 3: a long order episode.

907
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: I don't know. I've been pretty unlawful and unruly.

908
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 3: This all leads up to today. My husband received an

909
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 3: email sent only to him saying that they couldn't wait

910
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 3: until November. They missed him so much, so in two

911
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 3: weeks they'll be driving their old beater car. They don't

912
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 3: have the money to both fly eighteen hours to our place.

913
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 3: His MoMA will be staying four days and leaving, but

914
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 3: his dad will be staying ten days, perhaps more if

915
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 3: he can get more time off work. My husband showed

916
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 3: me the email and said, you can't say no. They're

917
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 3: coming down and we will be treating you and your

918
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 3: dog's name. I flipped out. I told my husband at

919
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 3: this point, it's not about them visiting or even staying

920
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,399
Speaker 3: in our small, two bedroom apartment. Is about the lack

921
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 3: of respect that they show for boundaries. My husband is

922
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,360
Speaker 3: one hundre percent apathetic to it all. He says that

923
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 3: my life is too short to make ripples and that

924
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 3: we should just enjoy their company. Am I overreacting? We

925
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 3: have an update.

926
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

927
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's a quick three minute

928
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: break from ask for more sponsors.

929
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 2: I feel like your husband wants to spend time with

930
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 2: his family. Yeah, and your problem lies with like, well,

931
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 2: shouldn't I be able to spend all of that week

932
00:44:58,760 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 2: off with my husband?

933
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 3: Yeah?

934
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 4: Because I feel like I don't seem enough. But you

935
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,800
Speaker 4: got to figure out how to see each other more.

936
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 2: When you don't have those weeks off.

937
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think you're both are very busy, and to

938
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 3: preserve this relationship, something has to give, like either less school,

939
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 3: less job, or you know, sacrifice this time that you

940
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 3: have with your husband, knowing that later in the road

941
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 3: you'll have more time with them, hoping, because I feel

942
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 3: like once you get rolling in a busy schedule in

943
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 3: a relationship, that's the vibe. That's how it's always going

944
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 3: to be.

945
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 4: He's made it clear that his philosophy is life is

946
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 4: too short to create.

947
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 2: This tension with my family over them wanting to see me.

948
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 3: Yeah. So summary of previous posts. Last week, my husband

949
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 3: received an email from his dad. The email that my

950
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 3: father in law and mother in law had decided that

951
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 3: they were going to come and visit us for ten

952
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 3: days because they could have waited any longer to see

953
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 3: their son. A direct quote from the email, after stating

954
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,880
Speaker 3: that they were visiting, he's no approvals needed, no denials accepted.

955
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 3: I was really gay. Now that bothers me.

956
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, that kind of stuff sends me up the wall.

957
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 3: You are just kids. You don't know better. Where we

958
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 3: got it from here?

959
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 4: Because it's like that kind of attitude makes me go,

960
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 4: oh yeah, watch this.

961
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they go, where are you? We're in town.

962
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 2: I go, that's crazy, I'm not.

963
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

964
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 2: Oops.

965
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,839
Speaker 3: I was really angry about the situation. I felt like

966
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,319
Speaker 3: they were overstepping their boundaries and my husband seem apathetic.

967
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 3: I gave my husband a couple of days to think

968
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 3: about what he wanted to do. He gave myself a

969
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 3: couple of days to cool down, and then I talked

970
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 3: to him again. He actually was pretty receptive and we

971
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,759
Speaker 3: had a good conversation. We both agreed that he would

972
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 3: talk to his parents and discuss appropriate boundaries. We wouldn't

973
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 3: ask them to stay in a hotel because they couldn't

974
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 3: afford it, but would tell them that they need to

975
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 3: respect our need for privacy and alone time. Should we

976
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 3: ask that's happening now? He skyed with his parents on

977
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 3: Saturday alone because I was out of town. He said

978
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 3: that it went well and they like they understood. After

979
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 3: he spoke with them, I sent them both a follow

980
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 3: up text that Saturday night, letting them know that during

981
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 3: the ten days they will be visiting us. One, we

982
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 3: will need to be away for one full day as

983
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 3: we had already made plans to celebrate our wedding anniversary.

984
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 3: Two a friend of mine will likely be dropping in

985
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 3: from out of town and might be with us for

986
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 3: a day or two. Three I asked them to leave

987
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 3: their handguns behind. This is a personal preference of mind.

988
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 3: Six months ago, they both bought handguns for the first

989
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 3: time and have decided they only feel safe when sleeping

990
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 3: next to their pupius. I do not feel comfortable with

991
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 3: that in my house, so I asked that they leave

992
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 3: the pupis behind. That's that's wild to me. Sorry, as

993
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 3: someone that has grown up around firearms and believes strongly

994
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 3: in the Second Amendment. Having to sleep next to them

995
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 3: all the time. Where do you live?

996
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 2: It feels more like mental illness than anything. I don't know,

997
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 2: believing that that's gonna keep you safer just because they're

998
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 2: like right next to you and you just sleep.

999
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 3: I don't know, no, no, I some people have opinions

1000
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 3: about this, but I'm like, I don't know. I understand

1001
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 3: wanting to feel safe and having access to it in

1002
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 3: case you need to do defense, but traveling with it

1003
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 3: and putting other people at harm, that's.

1004
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 2: I don't know, man.

1005
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,720
Speaker 4: I think the only way that that makes any sense

1006
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 4: you have like one surgically implanted into your skull so

1007
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 4: that when you wake up and there's an intruder right above,

1008
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 4: you can go boom.

1009
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 2: But that doesn't work, that doesn't happen. You can't do

1010
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:30,320
Speaker 2: that yet.

1011
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 3: I'm working on something. Honestly, wasn't trying to be an antagonistic.

1012
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 3: I just wanted to be very clear with them and

1013
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 3: up front so there were no surprises when they arrived.

1014
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 3: I didn't want them to make conflicting plans and ended

1015
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 3: up disappointed. I sent a text because I was out

1016
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 3: of the country and didn't have access to Wi Fi

1017
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 3: and couldn't call. I didn't receive any response from them

1018
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 3: Saturday or Sunday, unusual because they were always quick at answering.

1019
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 3: Then yesterday, Monday, my husband texts me tell me that

1020
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 3: he got a text from them, saying that they loved

1021
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 3: him and missed him, but that they were not going

1022
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:05,280
Speaker 3: to visit us anymore. No explanation, just that they weren't

1023
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 3: no longer coming, despite the fact that they boot their

1024
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 3: vacation time and bought a flight ticket for my mother

1025
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 3: in law's return home. He then asked why, and they

1026
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 3: said that they would talk to both him and me

1027
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,359
Speaker 3: over skype. Well, my husband has a super busy week

1028
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 3: and doesn't have the time to have another lengthy discussion,

1029
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 3: and they had planned on driving down here June thirtieth,

1030
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 3: so I told him I would want to talk with

1031
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 3: him to try and smooth things over before then, because

1032
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, it would be nice

1033
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 3: for him to see them, and I don't want him

1034
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 3: to miss out on family time because of petty drama

1035
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 3: that I may or may have not cost. So I

1036
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 3: texted them immediately Monday and told them that I wasn't

1037
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 3: sure what was going on, but that I would love

1038
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 3: to talk with them and listen to what they had

1039
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:48,839
Speaker 3: to say. I told them that i'd be back in

1040
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 3: the States today Tuesday, and asked them to let me

1041
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 3: know a couple of times that might work to skype.

1042
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 3: No answer instead, my father in law text is my

1043
00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:00,879
Speaker 3: husband as a response to my text that they will

1044
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 3: not answer any texts and will only communicate via skype.

1045
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 3: So I played dumb and sent them another text today

1046
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 3: saying I didn't hear back from either of you, so

1047
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 3: I think my last text probably didn't go through. Husband

1048
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,280
Speaker 3: is busy all week you guys have time to skype

1049
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,360
Speaker 3: with me today. A few hours later, I get a

1050
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,359
Speaker 3: text from mother in law saying they will skype when

1051
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 3: my husband is able. I responded saying, I just asked,

1052
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 3: because between both of our schedules, we won't be able

1053
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 3: to skype with you until this weekend, and if you

1054
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 3: cancel your plans because of something I said, I want

1055
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 3: you to know that I'm available to talk before them

1056
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 3: no answer. I know they have checked their phones because

1057
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 3: they sent my husband a text after that saying they

1058
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 3: were thinking of him. It's frustrating because this is still

1059
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 3: boils to the same issue, a huge lack of appropriate communication.

1060
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 3: The one positive note is that at least my husband

1061
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,359
Speaker 3: and I are on the same page. Finally. He's really

1062
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 3: embarrassed by how his parents are acting and has said

1063
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 3: that unless they have some legitimate reason, their car broke down.

1064
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 3: He has nothing to say to them. I don't think

1065
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 3: they like Opie.

1066
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 4: I don't think so either, And I wouldn't be beaten

1067
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 4: around the bush with like, oh my test didn't go through.

1068
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 4: I'd be like, hey, we're all adults here. I'm the

1069
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 4: other half of the partnership your son and I share.

1070
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 4: If you got something to say about us, you can

1071
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 4: say it to me.

1072
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 3: Right here to my face. Sorry, fikes so, and now

1073
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 3: looks like they are no longer coming. I do feel

1074
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,320
Speaker 3: guilty for causing tension between my husband and his parents.

1075
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 3: Part of me wishes I just kept my mouth shut

1076
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 3: and just gone with it, and then there would not

1077
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:42,959
Speaker 3: have been any drama to deal with. Ridiculous, unnecessary drama

1078
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 3: at that.

1079
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's all coming from them. They are moving

1080
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 4: about this like they are in middle school. Yeah, literally,

1081
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 4: like they're thirteen years old.

1082
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,280
Speaker 3: Take you out of this, what's left? That's the issue.

1083
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 3: While the other part feels like if I didn't say anything,

1084
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 3: they would have continued to overstep their boundaries and I

1085
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 3: would have gone crazy. So as of now, they are

1086
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 3: not visiting, and my husband has no desire to talk

1087
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 3: with them, and I guess I'll stop asking if they

1088
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 3: want to talk with me. Yeah, I don't think they

1089
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 3: like you, but they're not going to tell you that,

1090
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:15,760
Speaker 3: and that's the end of that story.

1091
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: I guess they definitely won't tell you that.

1092
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 3: They're only going to talk to your husband and hopefully

1093
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 3: you guys can have time for yourselves.

1094
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 4: When I was siding with them, I didn't imagine they

1095
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:27,399
Speaker 4: were the most exhausting, annoying yeah people of all time?

1096
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 3: What's he got a little bit more context there.

1097
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, anytime anyone's just like yeah, and it's

1098
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 2: not up to you, and no requests accepted, no denials

1099
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:43,280
Speaker 2: listened to. It's like, yeah, oh oh okay, you stepped

1100
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 2: up and you put a stop to it.

1101
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 3: Congrats Obie. And that's the end of that episode. So

1102
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 3: if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love

1103
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 3: you and see you tomorrow.