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Speaker 1: Hello, friend, how are you. It's seriously just the nature

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Speaker 1: of this time in our lives. I think we both

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Speaker 1: have been in a situation this past week where we've

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Speaker 1: possibly been exposed to COVID, so we're being extra safe

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Speaker 1: and we're just not seeing each other, right, and the

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Speaker 1: world's inspiring because your zoom won't work, so to your face,

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Speaker 1: I know, it's like torture over here. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: at least you didn't have to have here and make

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Speaker 1: up for this. If you saw me, you'd be like,

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Speaker 1: pretty glad you didn't have to sleep. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is just like the name of the game, right,

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Speaker 1: Like it's like you keep going in life until maybe

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Speaker 1: you need to isolate for a minute, and then everyone

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Speaker 1: has to kind of just understand what's going on. We

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Speaker 1: had a friend go down with it and she had

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Speaker 1: to miss some of our jobs this week, and just

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Speaker 1: like this weird time where it's like the norm, oh,

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Speaker 1: this person has COVID, Oh might have been exposed, or

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Speaker 1: that classroom needs to shut down, or you know, like

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Speaker 1: you can't go to work today. It's just so bizarre. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, thankfully, I um, the timing has kind of

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Speaker 1: been good for me because I didn't really have anything

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Speaker 1: other than seeing you was the only thing that like,

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Speaker 1: I would have had to leave my house for like

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Speaker 1: two weeks really, so it's like my plan was just

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Speaker 1: to isolate, or is just to isolate. Um, tomorrow will

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Speaker 1: be five days since I was around her, so, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I haven't had a single symptom. So my hope,

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Speaker 1: knock on wood, is that I'm somehow, you know, skated

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Speaker 1: by this. But if I show any symptoms in the

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Speaker 1: next few days, I'm I didn't want to, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: increase my risk by going into a doctor's office just

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Speaker 1: to get a test just I'm negative, so I figured

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Speaker 1: I would just like wait it out, and unfortunately, my

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Speaker 1: my schedule allowed me to do that. So it's nice.

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Speaker 1: I think if you can isolate, that's honestly maybe the

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Speaker 1: safest better. Mean, the tests are so all over the

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Speaker 1: place too, It's so confusing this whole thing. I feel

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Speaker 1: like everyone is really just trying to figure it out

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Speaker 1: every day and you're learning more information and it's just

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Speaker 1: like I don't know. So, yeah, the best thing to

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Speaker 1: do is just stay away. That's cut us. My plan

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Speaker 1: as well, is just to stay away. I did go

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Speaker 1: get a test yesterday, but a private one. There's this

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Speaker 1: place here Recover, Nashville. I don't know if anyone. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's so awesome. It's a little pricey, I will say,

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Speaker 1: but for me it was like just to know and

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Speaker 1: have the peace of mind was worth it for this one.

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Speaker 1: And you go in and they have the whole place

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Speaker 1: shut down and so you're there by yourself, And so

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Speaker 1: that made me feel a lot more comfortable, especially just

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Speaker 1: because if I'm like, if I have it again, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to expose people. You know, I've already had it,

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Speaker 1: So I'm sort of in serious protocol, Like I just

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Speaker 1: kind of really buy into that. So we're being safe.

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Speaker 1: We're on the phone again. It's sort of a buzz kill,

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Speaker 1: but it's just Corona. So this actually kind of brings

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Speaker 1: us to the topic because you and I were talking

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Speaker 1: a little bit this week and like this time period

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Speaker 1: and maybe into one has been so interesting for me

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Speaker 1: as far as friendships go and just relationships in general.

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Speaker 1: And I was asking you if you've been feeling the

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Speaker 1: same thing, and you said yes, and you know, I

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Speaker 1: think we'll talk about the different levels of that. But

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Speaker 1: I went ahead and just posted it on my Instagram

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Speaker 1: to see if this was something worldwide or countrywide that

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Speaker 1: people were feeling the same way we were, and I

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Speaker 1: literally got so blown up with crazy. Well I still

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Speaker 1: haven't even made it through all the messages because there

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Speaker 1: were so many. And I found it so interesting that

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Speaker 1: so many people are saying their relationships have been deeply

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Speaker 1: affected and changed throughout the last year and a half.

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Speaker 1: I mean it makes sense. I mean, especially like, you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously we've been so divided over politics and we've been

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Speaker 1: separated because of the pandemic that it's you know, it's

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Speaker 1: going to cause riffs and friendships or choices. You know,

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Speaker 1: your family, it's one thing. And personally, like I've been

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Speaker 1: very divided, you know, politically with my family, and I've

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Speaker 1: been separated from them except for the time that I

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Speaker 1: got to see them over the holidays. And but like

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Speaker 1: they're your family, and those things you have to find

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Speaker 1: your way back to the center and love and and

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Speaker 1: through that that sort of love, some of that other

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Speaker 1: stuff can be washed over. But our friendships are choices,

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Speaker 1: you know, Like, and I think that, um, we've all

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Speaker 1: had a lot of time to spend with ourselves, um

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Speaker 1: and sort of just reevaluate things, and so it feels

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Speaker 1: like I have like I can understand why we're here,

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Speaker 1: you know, and everyone is here. So um, I do

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Speaker 1: think I do think it makes sense. And I think

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Speaker 1: you touched on a really important piece of this, which

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Speaker 1: is just the divisiveness and like people being so divided

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Speaker 1: in general and political. Yeah, I think we felt that,

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Speaker 1: like I've never felt it so so much in the

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Speaker 1: political environment, but also with coronavirus. I think that was

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Speaker 1: a big thing where a lot of people, you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of the messages I got were from people saying,

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Speaker 1: I really saw this person's true colors, and that can

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Speaker 1: mean a lot of different things. But in some ways,

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Speaker 1: it would be like if you let's say, for instance,

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Speaker 1: you're a huge mask where or you really buy into

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Speaker 1: isolation like we were talking about and all of these things.

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Speaker 1: Then on the flip side, you have this friend who

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Speaker 1: just doesn't even think the virus is real. That can

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Speaker 1: cause a major riff in a relationship, absolutely, And I

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Speaker 1: think some of that, like has been caused by the

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Speaker 1: politics of it all, you know exactly, Um, you know this,

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Speaker 1: this pandemic has been politicized for better or for worse,

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Speaker 1: and um, you know, I think a lot of it

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Speaker 1: comes down to just this like social division that happened

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Speaker 1: in our country and um, and you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: it's hard to even really place blame because I do

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Speaker 1: think that like both sides of the argument, we're sort

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Speaker 1: of fueled by fear. You know, like we all felt

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Speaker 1: like we were going to lose something. We all felt

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Speaker 1: like our version of democracy was at at stake, and um,

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Speaker 1: So there was real fear on both sides. UM. But

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Speaker 1: I think in terms of just the the showing of

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Speaker 1: true colors from people, it's you know, for me, even

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Speaker 1: when it comes to just politics and voting, like I

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Speaker 1: have to step outside of myself and be like, how

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Speaker 1: do my choices affect the people around me? And as

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Speaker 1: much as I do not want to get coronavirus because

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Speaker 1: I have asthma, it's like, although like I have this

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Speaker 1: thing in the back of my head that like believes

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Speaker 1: that I would be fine, but I think there's also

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Speaker 1: four hundred thousand people that fought the same thing. Um.

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Speaker 1: But I like I lost my train of thought. But

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Speaker 1: he was kind of going on the tangent of like

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Speaker 1: it's opened your eyes up to people being concerned for

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Speaker 1: others or you know that. So yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 1: think that's what I find to be the most aggravating

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Speaker 1: part of it. It's like this is about so much

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Speaker 1: more than me, are you or like an individual? It's

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Speaker 1: like when you go to the grocery store. When I

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Speaker 1: see people in the grocery store that are working there,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why is this seventy five year old man

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Speaker 1: or woman I work right now? They need the money?

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Speaker 1: Because they need the money, so it's like they we

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Speaker 1: need to do our part as a community to make

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Speaker 1: sure that those people are safe. They're keeping food in

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Speaker 1: our bellies, man like. So to me, it's like whether

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Speaker 1: you believe it or not, like care about your neighbors? Right, Well,

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Speaker 1: that was kind of I mean I said this to

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Speaker 1: you before we got on the podcast, But to me,

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Speaker 1: that's been the biggest revelation, right, Like there's relationships in

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Speaker 1: my life that I have realized maybe we think a

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Speaker 1: little differently and my mentality. I mean, this goes for

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Speaker 1: both politically and for this coronavirus stuff is to think

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Speaker 1: of like the greater, the bigger picture of everyone you know,

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Speaker 1: and like not just myself. I had coronavirus and I

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Speaker 1: was very lucky that it was okay. I mean, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't fun by any means, but like I made it through.

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Speaker 1: I'm young enough, I'm healthy enough that my body bounced back.

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Speaker 1: But like when I think about my grandmother, or I

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Speaker 1: think about a lot of I know two people who

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Speaker 1: have lost parents to this and those kind of things

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Speaker 1: like that makes me want to make sure that I'm

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Speaker 1: being as safe as I possibly can. And I've had

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Speaker 1: people in my life who I just sort of had

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Speaker 1: this awakening of like they only really cared about how

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Speaker 1: it affected them, And that was a very hard pill

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Speaker 1: for me to swallow with a friendship, because then you

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Speaker 1: start to ask yourself these questions of like, well, they're

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Speaker 1: only going to care about themselves in this situation, like

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Speaker 1: why would they ever have my back? You know, like

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Speaker 1: in general in life, like it just starts to become

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Speaker 1: this bigger debate in your head. And like you said,

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Speaker 1: kind of can't bring up a lot of feet are Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to read, go ahead. I was just gonna

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Speaker 1: say I think that like those those thoughts and points

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Speaker 1: coupled with the fact that like we've had a lot

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Speaker 1: of time just to like sit with our thoughts, you know, really,

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Speaker 1: I think have made this past almost twelve months, um,

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Speaker 1: a really deep time of reflections, you know, And I

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Speaker 1: think that it's we we've also like learn, you know,

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Speaker 1: this is the first time in our lifetime that it's

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Speaker 1: not the first time that the pandemic has swept the

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Speaker 1: world unkilled a lot of people. It's the first time

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Speaker 1: that we've experienced it. And I think it's like we're

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Speaker 1: we're having to look at life is like something that

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Speaker 1: is fleeting and short and you know, can literally be

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Speaker 1: wiped out by It's this microscopic thing that you can't

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Speaker 1: see absolutely. So let's read through some of these messages.

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Speaker 1: This is from Emily Um the question that I asked

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Speaker 1: on Instagram. I said that you and I were going

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Speaker 1: to talk about this today, and then I said, are

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Speaker 1: you guys feeling this in your relationships? Is it because

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Speaker 1: of politics? Is it because of COVID? And a lot

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Speaker 1: of people said both, uh, Emily said both. Unfortunately, I

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Speaker 1: just feel like this crisis has made us see their

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Speaker 1: true colors in the face of injustice, injustice and hardship.

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Speaker 1: For so many, this has made me question their hearts

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Speaker 1: and if I want my family, especially my children, around

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Speaker 1: certain people I still still care about those individuals and

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Speaker 1: would do anything for them, but I have had to

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Speaker 1: set different boundaries and distance myself and my family when

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Speaker 1: I have felt the need. Um this one comes from.

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Speaker 1: There's so many Oh my gosh, Okay, this one comes

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Speaker 1: from to day, she said. COVID has really brought out

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Speaker 1: the worst in people. I feel like it's almost allowed

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Speaker 1: for people to show their true colors. But it has

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Speaker 1: opened my eyes that certain individuals in my life never

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Speaker 1: really were true friends. It's made me realize that I

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Speaker 1: want people around who around me who allowed me to

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Speaker 1: be myself. They don't judge me and will support me

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Speaker 1: through anything. It's allowed me not to guilt and letting

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Speaker 1: those friendships go. Appreciating the good ones and saying by

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Speaker 1: Felicia to the bad ones is really okay. I'm a

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Speaker 1: Type two on the intogram, so I struggle with people

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Speaker 1: pleasing and not doing what's best for myself. But this

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Speaker 1: past year has been a complete ship show for everyone,

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Speaker 1: and I'm hoping this dumpster side dumpster fire has finally

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Speaker 1: been extinguished. We've lost a lot, but we've also gained

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Speaker 1: a lot. Um I have. Anyway, I think this was

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Speaker 1: that this kind of the theme of really asking yourself

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Speaker 1: how a certain relationship affected your life and if it

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Speaker 1: was more of like an acquaintance or if it was

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Speaker 1: something that you were in for the long haul. That

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Speaker 1: is something that a lot of people came back with

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Speaker 1: just because you, like you said, relationships or effort, and

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Speaker 1: they take work, and especially during a pandemic, like you

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Speaker 1: have to really put in the effort to stay in

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Speaker 1: touch with certain people, you know, And I think everyone

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Speaker 1: is so high intensity wise, and like the stress levels

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Speaker 1: are high, and so we're not operating as our best

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Speaker 1: self elves either. So there's been I know, for me,

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Speaker 1: there's been a lot of relationship that I thought we're

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Speaker 1: actually like we were super super close or something like that,

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Speaker 1: and like you kind of get distance and you realize, well,

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Speaker 1: maybe it fits some part of my life at that point,

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Speaker 1: but like without that aspect of my life now, like

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Speaker 1: what does the relationship actually bring to me? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean it's like I was saying, I think with with

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Speaker 1: the isolation that we've been feeling, it's we're sort of

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Speaker 1: really digging deep and asking those exact questions, like what

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Speaker 1: am I getting in return for my expenditure in this relationship?

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Speaker 1: Whether with it, whether it's a friend or you know,

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Speaker 1: even a romantic one, you know, which might not necessarily

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Speaker 1: be that might be less of the isolation and more

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Speaker 1: because you're spending more time with them. Um oh that's interesting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that's a whole another conversation. I think because I

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Speaker 1: was talking. I talked to uh, actually talked to Kim

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Speaker 1: Kardashian's divorce attorney a couple of weeks ago on the

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Speaker 1: Other Velvet Touch podcast with other part of the podcast,

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Speaker 1: and she told me that divorce rates are at an

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Speaker 1: all time high right now, which it's just like sad,

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Speaker 1: you know, It's like you actually have to spend time

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Speaker 1: together and then you're like, yeah, this isn't gonna work.

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Speaker 1: I know. But I mean, as far as the friendships

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Speaker 1: go specifically, I definitely have lost a couple of friendships

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Speaker 1: this year. I don't know that they were the strongest

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Speaker 1: friendships in my life anyway. I wouldn't say that any

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Speaker 1: of my super strong relationships have disappeared. I think we've

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Speaker 1: all seen other sides of each other that have not

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Speaker 1: been pretty. I mean, I definitely know that, and we

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Speaker 1: talked a lot about this at the beginning of isolation

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Speaker 1: like I sort of disappeared, you know, I was going

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Speaker 1: through some like personal stuff. Well it wasn't personal. It

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Speaker 1: was very public. Actually it was very personal to me,

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Speaker 1: and it was super difficult, and I just like shut down.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't function, and I was just basically with my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend and his two kids, and I didn't really see

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Speaker 1: you guys that much. And I think, you know, a

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Speaker 1: couple of our friends took it very personal, which was

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Speaker 1: really hard because I didn't mean it that way. Ever. Um,

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Speaker 1: I was just trying to survive myself. And that's sort

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Speaker 1: of been a theme I've seen with a couple of people,

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Speaker 1: as you're just trying to figure out how to get

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Speaker 1: through each day, and there's been so much loss for

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Speaker 1: all of us, and especially I know, our industry has

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Speaker 1: really really changed over the past year, and I think

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Speaker 1: you're just stressed. So it's like, you know, if you

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Speaker 1: you just do what you can to get through the day.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of people took it personal, like with

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Speaker 1: the choices I was making to get through my days

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Speaker 1: or whatever. And I think since we've worked through that,

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Speaker 1: but it's just been interesting to kind of like go, okay, wait,

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Speaker 1: everyone is under maybe the most stressed we've ever been

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Speaker 1: under in our lives, and so where can I give grace?

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Speaker 1: And then where do I maybe need to make some

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Speaker 1: changes in my relationships? I mean, look, for me, I

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Speaker 1: think a true friend would never make it personal about them.

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Speaker 1: They would say, hey, are you okay? Um and try

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Speaker 1: to have you know, to use your word grace. I

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Speaker 1: mean for me, you know, I haven't had a ton

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Speaker 1: of like dramatic friend loss, but I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: our industry, there's a lot of like really sort of

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Speaker 1: surface level friendships that happened, and a lot of that is, Um,

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Speaker 1: it's not because you don't like the people. It's just

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Speaker 1: like you only have so much time in your day

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Speaker 1: and your life to have like real genuine, like connected friendships.

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Speaker 1: But you know, we spend a lot of time out

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Speaker 1: at shows and clubs and events and you see these

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Speaker 1: people and your friendly and um, and I think it's

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Speaker 1: you know, this time of reflection for me has been

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Speaker 1: like I've learned that like those relationships don't matter nearly

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Speaker 1: as much as I thought they did, you know, like

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Speaker 1: I felt, I was like, I mean, you all, we've

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Speaker 1: talked about it on here, Like what ship doing? He's

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Speaker 1: out of the show and like, I think, like look,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of that stems from I do love

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Speaker 1: live music. I love being you know, at a show.

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Speaker 1: But I think, you know, when things open back up,

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Speaker 1: there's probably gonna be a little bit less of that

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Speaker 1: in my life because I've learned that I can feel

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Speaker 1: connected to the people that I need to feel the

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Speaker 1: most connected to, um without having to to deal with

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Speaker 1: all the peripheral, like sort of surface level relationships that

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Speaker 1: I thought that I was nurturing. So um that to

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Speaker 1: me is sort of like what I've been able to shed. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know. There has been a little bit of dramatic

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Speaker 1: friends stuff, but for the most part it was really

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Speaker 1: the surface level of stuff, which you know, is great

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Speaker 1: because now I'm going to have more time and more

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Speaker 1: um sort of personal resources for the people that really

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Speaker 1: fucking matter to me. Absolutely. I think must and group

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Speaker 1: may have gotten a little smaller, but the friends that

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Speaker 1: I'm choosing to really go the distance with, it's like

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Speaker 1: it's deep into our relationship even more, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like if we can get through this ship, we got this,

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Speaker 1: you know, like it's just we can support each other

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Speaker 1: through this time in our lives and stay as close

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Speaker 1: as we are, then I don't. I don't worry about anything.

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Speaker 1: We're good, I think. Okay, so we talked a little

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Speaker 1: bit about the COVID stuff. The political aspect has been

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Speaker 1: very interesting because you know, I said this to you

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Speaker 1: again earlier today, but I think every other election year,

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Speaker 1: I feel like people have most oh hello dog, okay, uh,

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Speaker 1: every other political year, you know, you kind of are

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Speaker 1: like to each his own, like yeah, agree to disagree,

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Speaker 1: or it doesn't feel so volatile at all. And this

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Speaker 1: year has felt very very divided, but not in just

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Speaker 1: like yeah, we have different opinions, but it's almost like

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Speaker 1: the other side cannot understand the other side, Like we

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Speaker 1: don't have any sort of middle ground. It feels completely

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Speaker 1: opposite into the scale. And so I think that has

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Speaker 1: brought an even bigger, you know, divide within our country,

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Speaker 1: within a lot of our relationships and friendships. And again

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Speaker 1: for me, the big piece of that being, uh, the misunderstanding.

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Speaker 1: I just can't understand another side fully because again I

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Speaker 1: feel like the consideration of other people just isn't there,

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Speaker 1: and it it makes me be like, I don't why

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Speaker 1: would I want a friend like that who can't think

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Speaker 1: outside of themselves? Um, this is from tie, and he said,

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Speaker 1: I'd say it was both COVID and politics. Uh, maybe

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Speaker 1: more COVID than politics. But if we stand on the

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Speaker 1: opposite side of a party, that's fine. But when the

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Speaker 1: health of other people for you, for yourself is not

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Speaker 1: a priority, then that is a hard relationship to continue

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Speaker 1: when people are around you and then getting COVID. So

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Speaker 1: it goes both ways. Though I think that I falls

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Speaker 1: in the political political lane too, because that was what

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Speaker 1: a lot of people were saying, was just like one

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Speaker 1: one side of it was thinking of a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: and one side of it is thinking of how it

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Speaker 1: affects them, and so that can deeply affect your relationships absolutely.

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Speaker 1: Did you have any experiences like that? Um? Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: it's like I've lived in so many places that I

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Speaker 1: have friends, like really close friends in a lot of places.

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Speaker 1: And my heart aches for all of my friends in

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles because like it is devastating that city, and um,

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Speaker 1: you know most of the people that I know, they

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Speaker 1: were taking incredibly serious. Yeah. And um, and I would say,

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Speaker 1: you know, most of my friends tend to leaning more left. Um,

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Speaker 1: so like they've been respecting the science and all of

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Speaker 1: those things. Um. But then to see you know, people

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Speaker 1: having parties in those communities and just completely disrespecting all

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Speaker 1: the effort that people are putting in to make sure

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Speaker 1: that this goes away for everybody. Um is it's like

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Speaker 1: a tough pill to swallow. You know. In our industry, obviously,

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Speaker 1: we're all craving getting back to the life space because

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Speaker 1: that's where the majority of the money is made. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I've I've had to go to things for

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Speaker 1: work that are so buttoned up. Everything is like every

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Speaker 1: box is checked, the protocols are amazing, and then you

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Speaker 1: walk into one where you've been told that there's gonna

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Speaker 1: be protocols and you're like, oh, ship, not the potential

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Speaker 1: super spreader thing like and um, And I think the

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Speaker 1: difference is just putting an effort in caring, you know. Um.

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Speaker 1: And I think when you find yourself in those situations,

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Speaker 1: there's still things that you can do, Like you can

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Speaker 1: choose to keep your mask on and do everything that

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Speaker 1: you can do to keep yourself and everyone around you safe. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, obviously, if it's a work related thing, you

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Speaker 1: can't just like feel like about you know, you've got

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Speaker 1: to do your job, but you know, it's I have

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Speaker 1: definitely lost respect for some people in my life because

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Speaker 1: of the flipping way that they've approached this virus. I

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Speaker 1: think that's what a couple of people are saying. Katie said,

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Speaker 1: this actually goes a little more to the politics piece,

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Speaker 1: and she didn't say which side she was on, but

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Speaker 1: I actually think both sides feel this way, and that

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Speaker 1: that's been a very interesting thing to me, because I

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Speaker 1: think both sides think the other sides are crazy or

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Speaker 1: or insane. So Katie says, it's hard and it's shocking

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Speaker 1: that I guess I didn't know some as well as

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Speaker 1: I thought I did. But you can't reason with people

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Speaker 1: living in an alternative reality. You just have to hope

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Speaker 1: they come to their sense of sooner rather than later. Um,

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Speaker 1: And I think, I mean that was something I even

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Speaker 1: realized again this week, was just watching on social media

403
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Speaker 1: a lot of people posting, and it can go it's

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Speaker 1: so hard core each way, and I know, like I've

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Speaker 1: had a couple of relationships where I'm like, really like

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Speaker 1: that's I mean, I just cannot understand it, you know,

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Speaker 1: as much as I try, And um, it's yeah, it

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Speaker 1: just sort of makes you think. And I think like

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Speaker 1: you said earlier, with COVID, we have a lot of

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Speaker 1: extra time to think right now. So the relationship that

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Speaker 1: really mattered to you and the ones you really want

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Speaker 1: to work at, you kind of just do, and then

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Speaker 1: the other ones. Maybe we're realizing the acquaintances are just

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Speaker 1: sort of fluff that we didn't need in our lives.

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Speaker 1: But on a positive spin, because I think we could

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Speaker 1: go about this for every you know, time and time

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Speaker 1: and Tim and Tom and Tom. But like, I think

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Speaker 1: there's another flip side to this, And you were actually

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Speaker 1: telling me that you've kind of reacquainted with some people

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Speaker 1: from your past through this COVID stuff, and so it

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Speaker 1: hasn't all been bad. I think it's you know, in

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Speaker 1: the very beginning, it was, um, you know, I got

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Speaker 1: to spend a lot of time on Zoom with friends

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Speaker 1: that I hadn't seen in forever, and it like kind

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Speaker 1: of made it feel like old days. And I think

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Speaker 1: some of it has was born out of like being

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Speaker 1: in isolation and actually missing people and thinking about like

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Speaker 1: people I hadn't talked to and forever, and I've just

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Speaker 1: like sent random emails to people being like I know

430
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 1: it's been forever, but you're on my mind and like

431
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: the way they respond it's so fantastic because it makes

432
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 1: me feel so good, and I know it made them

433
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: feel good to get the message. Um, and like that

434
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 1: has been Actually have this like box of cards that

435
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 1: I found sitting like best that just say I fucking

436
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 1: miss you on the front and I've got like ten

437
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 1: of I've got ten of them and I'm like, who

438
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 1: am I just going to mail a card to you know,

439
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: Like that's good idea. Yeah, I love that idea of

440
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,679
Speaker 1: reconnecting with old people. And I've had a couple of

441
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 1: people said that, Like there was this one girl who

442
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: was talking about, Um, she went to a private boarding

443
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,360
Speaker 1: school in high school, but like you kind of lose

444
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 1: touch and she's just kind of had the time, Like

445
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: you said that she would have never thought of those

446
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: people of life had just remained the same and just

447
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: been as busy as it was. And then she was like, Oh,

448
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to check in on this person and see,

449
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,479
Speaker 1: you know, what's going on for them. And a lot

450
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,679
Speaker 1: of people have said that that it's just the time,

451
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: the downtime gave them the place to reconnect. Maybe he's

452
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 1: just send a thoughtful note, like you said, I love

453
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: that that idea. I think that that's a really that's

454
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 1: a really act, casual way to look at relationships during

455
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 1: this time. Yeah, and it's like it's a simple thing

456
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: to do, and it's like it's sending the gifted joy

457
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: is really what it is. Yeah, And honestly I had

458
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: a friend. Um, a couple of weeks ago, a friend

459
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 1: popped into my mind and I literally had not thought

460
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 1: of her. And we were good friends in college and

461
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: then in New York Africa college and I just when

462
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 1: I'm in l A, like we just kind of lost touch,

463
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: and Um, I looked back the last time we had

464
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 1: emailed with two thousand eleven to nine, you know, over

465
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: nine years had gone by, and I couldn't find her

466
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 1: on Facebook. I couldn't find her on Instagram. I could

467
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 1: like googling her. I mean I literally was like, I

468
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: think she's dead, and it was like such a pit

469
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: in my stomach. But I emailed her and she wrote

470
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,360
Speaker 1: back and she's not only And so the last time

471
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 1: we had emailed, like she was like having trouble meeting

472
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: a guy, like living on her own, like just changed

473
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 1: like changed her job, which she really liked. But like,

474
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: you know, they were like she was complaining about things.

475
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: Well she wrote back, and I was so relieved. And

476
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: she's married, she's got two kids, she's got her own business.

477
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: Like it was like such like it made me feel

478
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 1: so good to know that, because I had just like

479
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: pit in my stomach for twenty four hours until she responded. So,

480
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: you know, reach out to people. It's brightened some I

481
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: actually agree with that, and that would be a really

482
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 1: good thing to focus on changing in our relationships moving forward,

483
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 1: even after this is over. Just kind of like considering

484
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 1: the people from your past that you still care about,

485
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: or just you know, checking in. I love that, just

486
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: sending a little thoughtful note another. I think another thing

487
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 1: that I was thinking about that baby would be an

488
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 1: at casual spin on this is that as hard as

489
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: it is to lose people in your life, and you know,

490
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 1: obviously I've dealt with that a lot in the past

491
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: couple of years, and so this is something I've really

492
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: been thinking about, but just sort of getting to the

493
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 1: place of acceptance of they did serve a purpose in

494
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: your life. Always every relationship does, right and if you

495
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: can look at it for that that through that lens

496
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: and maybe what you learned about them, what you learned

497
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: about relationships, also what you learned about yourself from that relationship,

498
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: and just kind of go into this next year with

499
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: a little more acceptance, even if you you know, need

500
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 1: to grieve or you need to process through what that

501
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: is like feel it for sure, but also maybe focus

502
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: on they served a purpose in my life and maybe

503
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: now it's just time to like let go with love

504
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: and keep moving forward, um, and just focus on what

505
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 1: kind of relationships you do want moving forward and just

506
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: not the panic, the freak out of like oh my god,

507
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: or even the anger like I get really stuck on

508
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,399
Speaker 1: that one a lot, like this isn't fair and why

509
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 1: would they do this? You know, and that's just like Okay,

510
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 1: maybe we need to take a step back and act

511
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 1: a little casual and say, okay, wow, the universe is

512
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: showing me that this this relationship no longer serves me,

513
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 1: and so maybe it's time to move forward and focus

514
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: on the relationships that do bring a lot to my

515
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: life and joy or whatever it is, um, instead of

516
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,919
Speaker 1: just like getting stuck in the negatives of it. Yeah. Yeah,

517
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's so easy to go down

518
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: that route because we are you know, scared and angry. Yeah,

519
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: feel alone and um, but I do think it's life

520
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 1: will be so much better for all of us if

521
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: we can just sort of choose love and light. Yeah.

522
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 1: Let people go with love and light too. That's really good. Yeah. Yeah, Well,

523
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: we always think it's really interesting to know what you

524
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: guys are going through, and it sounds like a lot

525
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: of you are facing the same kind of relationship issues

526
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 1: and things that Chip and I are, So keep the

527
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: messages coming if you want to talk about it or

528
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,479
Speaker 1: you want us to read something on next week's at casual,

529
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: let us know. It's at casual at velvet edge dot com.

530
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: I am Velvet Edge on Instagram. Chip is at Chip

531
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,479
Speaker 1: dorsh and we thank you guys so much for listening.

532
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: I hope that everyone is staying safe out there. It

533
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 1: feels a little lighter this week, wouldn't you say, Chip, Yeah,

534
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: it totally does. I think we're moving forward, welcome to

535
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: I think I think well either way, we hope you

536
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: guys are staying safe out there and enjoying your week.

537
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 1: Enjoy your week, gent and always remember act right