Speaker 1: Hey, Hello, Hello to Unofficial Podcasts with Marie and Sydney.
Speaker 1: Hey sid Hey boo. I'm in a good mood. Thank
Speaker 1: you for buying those donuts. I did buy some munchkins.
Speaker 1: You are a good friend, but I feel like munchkins
Speaker 1: ten for two point fifty feels like a ripoff. And
Speaker 1: I gave you to fifty seven cents. So actually, we
Speaker 1: bought the donuts. So I bought the donuts. We bought
Speaker 1: the donuts. I brought me some loose change in the
Speaker 1: bottom of heart purse. You too good to have my change.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can a dollar, dude, you didn't give
Speaker 1: me a full dollar. I have it and I have
Speaker 1: assist but I definitely needed them donuts. That's a meal
Speaker 1: for the day. How many donuts did you eat? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I wasn't counting. I was like friends, I
Speaker 1: feel like they gave us ten and you had maybe six.
Speaker 1: That's a fucking lie. I got you an extra one
Speaker 1: and said it was your birthday, even though it was
Speaker 1: my birthday last week. But whatever's this either way. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Nugget Donuts for the diabetes. They don't sponsor us,
Speaker 1: so don't go there, but shout out to comedy, Hype
Speaker 1: and Breather. We're in a studio today. Breathe is also
Speaker 1: not sponsoring us. But for those of y'all who who
Speaker 1: need If y'all are like cheating on your spouse, this
Speaker 1: is a spot that you rent a room for meetings
Speaker 1: and you rented by the hour, but like it's cheaper
Speaker 1: than renting like a hotel. And they got Wi Fi
Speaker 1: so you can blow somebody's back out and check your emails.
Speaker 1: This is spot and email your wife. Listen, baby, I
Speaker 1: can't meet you for lunch. Won't be there tonight. The
Speaker 1: boss is riding my back. Literally, you're riding your boss.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't show up in like the credit card statement. No,
Speaker 1: it's exactly you can say. App it's like, oh, you
Speaker 1: spent forty five hours for a day. Yes, yeah, you
Speaker 1: were like that's lunch, that's lunch. What's breather? And that's
Speaker 1: where we had food. That's where I had lunch. I
Speaker 1: mean I was eating an ass, Sidney real question, have
Speaker 1: you ever eaten ass? I feel like you've asked this
Speaker 1: question on a podcast before. Yes, so what man? I
Speaker 1: did it? So? What? So fucking what? The guest is
Speaker 1: rolling her eyes at you. Okay, I did it. I
Speaker 1: did it. It was like somebody you were with for
Speaker 1: a long time. It felt like a long time. If
Speaker 1: you've eaten ass, please tweet us on Twitter. I just
Speaker 1: want to see who grows Murray. I'm not this person.
Speaker 1: You always bring out the nasty and me. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like, I didn't ask you to eat my ass.
Speaker 1: I was not there when you were doing that. You
Speaker 1: always give me to say this dumb ass sh it
Speaker 1: on this podcast. I'm done with this podcast. I'm time.
Speaker 1: All right, well let this be the last episode. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is it? All right? Then, that's what it is.
Speaker 1: Have you ever eaten nass? Hell? No, have you ever
Speaker 1: gotten your ass eating? Yes? But it was very I
Speaker 1: was I was caught off guard. It was like he
Speaker 1: was down there and then he got he took a
Speaker 1: wrong turn. It was like, wait, what I didn't like it?
Speaker 1: Was it a boo? Was it a boo like your boyfriend? Yes,
Speaker 1: the last nigga. That's why you mad at you and
Speaker 1: you're gonna leave me, you know. Listen, if you got
Speaker 1: your if you licked ass and got left, please find us.
Speaker 1: Please jump on our Patreon and pay for bonus episodes.
Speaker 1: Because that's obviously you need that the laughs in your life, Sydney,
Speaker 1: were you an expert in anything? This week? I'm prepping
Speaker 1: for you to leave. So I feel like when it's
Speaker 1: come out, you're gonna ben And I feel like this
Speaker 1: the episode is gonna be real sad. No it's not.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be listening to this episode and listen, I'm like,
Speaker 1: she leave, damn Lie. I'm like, nobody gonna ask me,
Speaker 1: so how's I don't know she They're going to ask
Speaker 1: you even more than you're like, have you spoken to Marie?
Speaker 1: I'm like, while she's out, she did well. So what
Speaker 1: are you doing to prepare for me? Leave it? Oh?
Speaker 1: You know, just I'm about to cut out a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of pictures of you. You're just gonna cut my face,
Speaker 1: cut you out, like like I dumpt you. Wow, Okay, cool, cool,
Speaker 1: I'm cool with dad. That's fine. I'm looking for a replacement.
Speaker 1: Maybe our guests could befal can do it. She booked
Speaker 1: by and she is. You don't got some She's not
Speaker 1: poor enough to be my replacement. She got too much
Speaker 1: money in too many shows. That's true. You got to
Speaker 1: get somebody who's doing bad. She got her own bathroom,
Speaker 1: like she don't share it with seven other people, She's
Speaker 1: doing too great. I mean only shared in my bathroom
Speaker 1: with one person. Sins which you say, I shared my
Speaker 1: bathroom with a woman and two other cats. So I'm
Speaker 1: doing terrible. That's the let's being way. In twenty eight two, Marie,
Speaker 1: were you an expert in anything this week? I was
Speaker 1: an expert at preparing to go to La Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1: So I went to go at a suitcase from my
Speaker 1: aunt's house. It was too small because I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be going for like a month and change. But
Speaker 1: in my mind, I'm like, maybe I'll be going for
Speaker 1: two months, Like what if I'm out there killing it
Speaker 1: in a book? Something? Right? Because I bought it one
Speaker 1: way ticket, it was cheap, cheap. Since let's talk about
Speaker 1: how you do you ever buy around trips? No? I
Speaker 1: always do it. They they they're cheaper that way. It's
Speaker 1: cheaper to buy a round trip ticket since you you
Speaker 1: don't pay for your flights. That's why you don't know.
Speaker 1: Fuck you. I listen the way sprint, not the way
Speaker 1: spirit is set up. You buy a one way, but
Speaker 1: then you had to you had to pay for, like
Speaker 1: bringing your purse on a plane. I don't bring nothing.
Speaker 1: I just go there. I don't need to be like
Speaker 1: your spirit be like, yeah, carry on can only be
Speaker 1: the size of an envelope. And you'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is this is a book, and they'd be like,
Speaker 1: you gotta pay twenty dollars for that. Listen, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be traveling this year, so I'm gonna be buying round trips.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, I'll put it in the air well. I
Speaker 1: go to one Way because I was like, maybe I'll
Speaker 1: book something and I have to be there through April. True,
Speaker 1: that's why. Or maybe I'll be there for like three
Speaker 1: weeks and be like it's too nice out here, the
Speaker 1: sun is too hot, and maybe I'll come back to
Speaker 1: New York. That's probably not gonna happen. No, it's not.
Speaker 1: I've already planned for two months of no Marie a word.
Speaker 1: What you're gonna do the next month, what you're gonna
Speaker 1: do in March. I'm gonna just get more in contact
Speaker 1: with the brown sisters of the community. You don't know
Speaker 1: no damn black everybody, Sydney. When I met you, you had
Speaker 1: not a single black friend don't even do that to me.
Speaker 1: I am your first black friend. Jo would be like.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I feel like people think that
Speaker 1: I don't have black friends, And she's like, do you
Speaker 1: think you do? Yes, I said, Adrian's my girlfriend, Marie's
Speaker 1: my my best friend. She's like anybody else. It was like,
Speaker 1: you're my friend, Yamnia is my friend. I'm a nigga.
Speaker 1: Now your friend. Y'all are colleagues. Colleagues? Wow, Well, speaking
Speaker 1: of colleagues, I feel like our guests that we're about
Speaker 1: to bring in is more than a colleague. You're more
Speaker 1: than a woman. You're more than a colleague, more than
Speaker 1: a writer. You are inspiring all of the children out here.
Speaker 1: You have a great podcast called uh Ranting and Raving.
Speaker 1: Yaminika Saunders give it up for our no dick. I'm
Speaker 1: no dick expert, Yami Saunders. First of all, you are
Speaker 1: a friend and sister exactly. Yea. But also that's for me.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't like fucking with people in general,
Speaker 1: so you let us know. Yo, I turned my phone off,
Speaker 1: I can close my door. I'm just a loner. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, you're obviously my sister and friend. I hang
Speaker 1: out what y'all do with y'all? What than I deal
Speaker 1: with anybody else. I don't like dealing with people, anybody else.
Speaker 1: Since the last time I saw you was a long
Speaker 1: term ago. You haven't been outside. I have friends who
Speaker 1: are like, they haven't seen me in months. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a phone person. Now, I will say this,
Speaker 1: y'all don't call enough. I called you when we were
Speaker 1: on the phone. Were on the phone for a long Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were hour and a half. I mean it's gonna
Speaker 1: be praying for you. You put me on the circle.
Speaker 1: I get the spirit of sin out of you. Yeah, this,
Speaker 1: uh said, come on, you know Dick twenty seventeen expert.
Speaker 1: It sounded a lot better than the intro. I just
Speaker 1: got no Dick, Like I don't ever get well, don't
Speaker 1: you don't get no idea you're out here driving No.
Speaker 1: I mean we've already discussed. Nobody in the realm has
Speaker 1: gotten Dick. Is got Dick in twenty seventeen. Nobody YO
Speaker 1: put her hands in the circle right, No, it's a
Speaker 1: sad circle. I don't want to because you're never gonna
Speaker 1: get Dick. You hate you didn't know how my life
Speaker 1: is set up. You don't know what the Lord has.
Speaker 1: Plastic dick I have. Okay, well, then you've had dick.
Speaker 1: You know that's not the same that's not the same thing.
Speaker 1: That's the same same thing. No plastic dick is not
Speaker 1: the same as dixis. You didn't have no plastic dick
Speaker 1: in twenty seventeen. I didn't have anything in and out
Speaker 1: of my huha. You don't have the hush apishie. You
Speaker 1: don't have the little vibrator, the magic one, that giant
Speaker 1: vibrator that's like the size of my arms. All. I
Speaker 1: don't use those type of vibrators as dil do's. I
Speaker 1: don't like putting things inside me that's not flesh. You
Speaker 1: see that flesh that's in the Bible. That's sounds like
Speaker 1: fusions or something. And actually boom, you see right way.
Speaker 1: You don't have no toys. I just didn't have a
Speaker 1: toy that just don't throw anything up. Mahu ha got
Speaker 1: a little bullet like a little so you got a
Speaker 1: little club, You got a vibrating club. Get scared and
Speaker 1: then they put the cats. You you masturbated with the
Speaker 1: cats in the room. I don't kick them out. You
Speaker 1: gotta gets in front of the Cats, in front of
Speaker 1: Forbes in Brooklyn, Shut Brooklyn and that sex young you
Speaker 1: got fun. You know. They're there for every Even when
Speaker 1: I have guys come over, the guys are like they
Speaker 1: want to kick the cats out of the room, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not gonna put my babies outside on
Speaker 1: the couch though you in the living room. Sometimes they
Speaker 1: like they it's their house too, maybe living the dude's toes.
Speaker 1: Actually a lot of guys, Like I haven't had a
Speaker 1: lot of guys, but I have guys that have come
Speaker 1: over and you know, we've hooked up and they jump,
Speaker 1: you know, because the cats pounce on the bed. They
Speaker 1: don't know because all they see is stuff moving around
Speaker 1: and they think it's like play time. So when the
Speaker 1: last time they've seen something in the bad Wait, hold
Speaker 1: hold on, let's get back, let's go back. Let's go
Speaker 1: back for a second. Oh yeah, yeah, we gotta we
Speaker 1: gotta go back. First of all, yeah, you've we've tried
Speaker 1: to get you on the podcast before and you were
Speaker 1: our roasting experts. Yeah, but it turned into it was
Speaker 1: in the eyes of a black woman. Send me that
Speaker 1: so I can just listen to that, Okay, and do
Speaker 1: you still have that episode? It? We had so much
Speaker 1: fun though, right and then I wanted you to be
Speaker 1: our Edibles expert because I feel like you are queen
Speaker 1: of doing the Edibles. Whenever I see you, you and
Speaker 1: you're in another world hire flying? Huh? Is that how
Speaker 1: you deal with people? You gotta be Sometimes I just
Speaker 1: like to forget, like I got, you know, for for
Speaker 1: all everybody things I have going on, I'm still struggling
Speaker 1: to hustle in and I have my broke moments still
Speaker 1: because I have my expenses of gotten more, you know,
Speaker 1: because you got a nice apartment. Yeah, I got a
Speaker 1: nice apartment. I got, you got you got? You got
Speaker 1: one of them cats? You got to you got too
Speaker 1: spoiled ass cat. Yeah, like me got too spoiled ass
Speaker 1: cats too. Yeah? What about your can yo? If worst
Speaker 1: came the worst, Jelly gotta go. Jelly is jelly the
Speaker 1: fat one. No, that's a skinny one, the fat one,
Speaker 1: the skinny one. She can't fit for herself, so she
Speaker 1: gotta go put her down. Wow. So wait, okay, so
Speaker 1: you got expenses? What else? Tell people what you got
Speaker 1: going on? Yeah? What are you working on? I know?
Speaker 1: I mean, well, you're always posting about what are you doing?
Speaker 1: What shows you're on? You're on, You're on laugh track
Speaker 1: mob La. Yes, and I did a show last night
Speaker 1: with Cipher Sounds at the Village Underground. How is that?
Speaker 1: He played the clip from my Bikini Wax joke, which
Speaker 1: was really funny. I really love you did a great job.
Speaker 1: I love I. You know, I'm trying to I think
Speaker 1: they're gonna do another season. I'm not sure they Well,
Speaker 1: hopefully I get on. I just haven't. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: working on. I have an album that I have to record. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: And you make it sound like you're doing nothing. I
Speaker 1: know that. You just your Comedy Central half hour came
Speaker 1: out last year. Yeah, and it was great. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: had the cat suit. I got praised and flack for it. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a big girl and I'm a big
Speaker 1: girl positive. But you know what it is. And this
Speaker 1: pretty kind of puts us into the how I wanted
Speaker 1: to his know, Dick inw thaty seventeen men have an
Speaker 1: opinion about women, especially when they don't think you should
Speaker 1: feel good about yourself. You know, I think it's a
Speaker 1: way of like checking you and it's like, well, who
Speaker 1: do you think you are to be in this cat
Speaker 1: suit wearing this and you know, just like and unlisted
Speaker 1: responses from men that have so much opinion about whether
Speaker 1: they would fuck me or not. Men, it's men were
Speaker 1: fucked Like. It's never someone you want to be with.
Speaker 1: It's always somebody who looks like the gum on the
Speaker 1: bottom of your shoes. If an unattractive man tells you
Speaker 1: that he doesn't want to fuck you and you don't
Speaker 1: want to fuck him, does he make a sound exactly?
Speaker 1: That's good? You know what I'm saying, Like timber motherfucker
Speaker 1: just fall down. Yeah. But it's always the ones that
Speaker 1: just because you got Wi Fi, should you be competent?
Speaker 1: Nobody cares, right, But that's what that's what the internet
Speaker 1: culture is now, right, it's people who should not be
Speaker 1: online talking about people that like are not on the
Speaker 1: same level. As though you're in your mother's basement, you
Speaker 1: hanging your phone out the window for connection, and you're
Speaker 1: like you like that, get that you standing in front
Speaker 1: of a Starbucks using that free WiFi, like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't like you trying to get a connection too.
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of people in there on a
Speaker 1: Wi Fi ninety sixth Street. So you know that's the
Speaker 1: new Starbucks. I don't like your wife, I don't like
Speaker 1: your blouse. So because of because of the situation, something
Speaker 1: like that, that's why you started to know, Dick. But
Speaker 1: why'd you start it? Okay? So what I you know,
Speaker 1: what I realized is I was number one. I hate
Speaker 1: giving us history because I feel like I give it
Speaker 1: a lot. But I mean the listeners don't know, you
Speaker 1: unofficial expert, make it short and making short and cute.
Speaker 1: I grew up, you know, secularly and then religiously. So
Speaker 1: you know, once my family turned over and got into
Speaker 1: the church, you know, we was all in. Well, but
Speaker 1: why how did your family? What happened? Something happened and
Speaker 1: they like we gotta pray what happened? But my grandparents
Speaker 1: us on nightclub and a little family nightclub. Like my
Speaker 1: aunt was behind the count and making drinks and stuff.
Speaker 1: Your uncle was dancing on stage. So my mother was
Speaker 1: a DJ. My mother spins, I've never heard this ever,
Speaker 1: my mother DJ. I don't talk about a lot because
Speaker 1: my mother's ashamed of me. My mother wanted me to
Speaker 1: spend and it was like my mother is so upset
Speaker 1: with my ear. She's just like she's you don't have
Speaker 1: a good music ear, good enough ear for what I liked,
Speaker 1: I'm down with it. My mother was her because her
Speaker 1: name is Michelle Moo they called Mickey Mooy. She also
Speaker 1: was on Mickey Moore. She was a radio DJ, so
Speaker 1: like and she spent so there's the car eminem and
Speaker 1: she had eminent productions and all that. So yeah, my mother,
Speaker 1: she's the person that would get in the car with me,
Speaker 1: like you know, when I was in high school and
Speaker 1: I would draw my mother around to playing. She's like,
Speaker 1: you don't hear the levels. You don't hear any levels.
Speaker 1: This sound off. It don't sound off. It be like
Speaker 1: everything with a quiz. It's like, no, I think it's
Speaker 1: fine off here And you got the name one of
Speaker 1: the street, like you doing you like I like this
Speaker 1: song and the basis builthing, Like what you mean the point? Like, man,
Speaker 1: just do whatever you want to the radio. I don't
Speaker 1: even you know what, I don't even want to listen
Speaker 1: to radio as well as there's my question that I
Speaker 1: have what the hell is treble? What is the trouble control?
Speaker 1: But you know it's like so you have the base
Speaker 1: you have the trouble. It's like, I don't. The trouble
Speaker 1: like makes it It almost makes it sound like you
Speaker 1: double is. It's like I want to, I don't. It's
Speaker 1: it's so I don't know, like like that, but I
Speaker 1: know when I base will bring in more of the beat,
Speaker 1: but the trouble will sort of balance something somehow, the
Speaker 1: speakers or something. Is so, you know, I feel like
Speaker 1: we're gonna google this and really get off of me.
Speaker 1: And this day that's true. Let's get so so what
Speaker 1: so you had this bomb ass club and then I
Speaker 1: put this handle up in my mouth and then what
Speaker 1: happened that made them be like, we gotta go to church.
Speaker 1: They're gonna hate me for this. I'm so sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to do clean. Sorry, I'm gonna have to be clean.
Speaker 1: I mean you're eating a candle ope, I mean that's clean.
Speaker 1: You gotta eat. We've never eaten on the podcast ever,
Speaker 1: So you're the first. That's not even what she was
Speaker 1: referring to them being mad at her for telling their business.
Speaker 1: I'm they're not gonna listen to this episode. You're fine. No, So,
Speaker 1: my mother's side of the family was very I mean
Speaker 1: they but then they got into night clubs, jazz and
Speaker 1: bars and all that. And my father's mother, you know,
Speaker 1: both my grandmothers were very involved was raising me. So
Speaker 1: I would go. I would get handed off to my
Speaker 1: father's mother on the weekends because she wanted to take
Speaker 1: me to church and she wanted me to have that
Speaker 1: sort of background being in church. So I we go
Speaker 1: to church with all time. Wanted to be an usher.
Speaker 1: You wanted to be an usher. You wanted to be
Speaker 1: an usher. You had to see people take people to
Speaker 1: their seats. I liked how they marched around. I like
Speaker 1: they had blazers on or that we had Like it
Speaker 1: was white on white on white white. So the only
Speaker 1: thing we would change that would have color is your
Speaker 1: hat and your glove. So like on first Sundays it
Speaker 1: would be black hat, black gloves because of communion. Sunday. Okay,
Speaker 1: second Sunday would be gold gold glove, glove jazz an
Speaker 1: emerald emerald. Since you heard that that's not not green emerald,
Speaker 1: that sophisticated green. It was. You wanted to be a
Speaker 1: part of it. And I just loved how like they
Speaker 1: would march around. I loved how to hit those corners
Speaker 1: real sharp did you on behind their back and stomp?
Speaker 1: Did you ever do a praise dance in the church?
Speaker 1: I call it holy ghosts? Dude. Yeah. I remember when
Speaker 1: we had to get they were doing tongues and my grandmother,
Speaker 1: who eventually became a minister and went on to be
Speaker 1: a pastor, she was adamant about us speaking in tongues. Wow, yeah, like,
Speaker 1: and I remember I remember it's like, can you tell
Speaker 1: us what that feels like? Well, when you faking the funk,
Speaker 1: it feels like nothing because you know what it is like.
Speaker 1: I remember the first like when they started, they really
Speaker 1: wanted the young people to start speaking to tongue. So
Speaker 1: we would sometimes we would have evening service. Even service
Speaker 1: would be at our church and sometimes we go to
Speaker 1: another church. And I remember when I was growing up,
Speaker 1: I can sneak home sometimes and not have to go
Speaker 1: to evening service because my aunt. Even though my aunt's
Speaker 1: handicap and has my grandmother had German musles when she
Speaker 1: was carrying her, she was able. She was was able
Speaker 1: to function enough to drive us back home. And we
Speaker 1: can German means. My grandmother had German measles when she
Speaker 1: was carrying my aunts and my uncle's born with brain
Speaker 1: damage in here an impairments. But she drove you. She
Speaker 1: was she got to the point where she was able
Speaker 1: to function. Yeah, she was a function. She wanted to
Speaker 1: tell me to have my own on here as an expert,
Speaker 1: how to really step up being handicapped because she didn't
Speaker 1: let that. They said she would never speak, They said
Speaker 1: she would never do it. I mean, she has obvious
Speaker 1: limitations now, especially she's getting older. She's always been hearing
Speaker 1: to put her speech is slurred, Jackie jackag brain damage,
Speaker 1: there's things that don't connect. She's never been able to
Speaker 1: live in her own Make sure you get there. She
Speaker 1: went to community college, she got her drivers, she you
Speaker 1: know around her. At some point, her and I were
Speaker 1: like a little team because I had my mind. My
Speaker 1: mind was growing as I was a kid, and you know,
Speaker 1: she would execute whatever I need done. Let's go ahead
Speaker 1: and let's go here. And you know, we're sort of
Speaker 1: tag team, so together together, we were like a twenty
Speaker 1: one year old person even though six and you know,
Speaker 1: so okay, so okay, we gotta I feel like we
Speaker 1: gotta get to the dick. I really got to tell
Speaker 1: you this is what happens. This is my life I
Speaker 1: don't talk about a lot of things, and you just
Speaker 1: you come to the Blackcast, You're like, let me release
Speaker 1: I feel like things that people don't understand about me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I feel like you're so open, Like I feel
Speaker 1: like when I've watched your social media videos, like on Instagram.
Speaker 1: You have a whole series about ninety Day Fiance, which
Speaker 1: is a show that I didn't even know was a thing.
Speaker 1: I didn't know about it until you had it on.
Speaker 1: And you know what, And I want anybody to keep telling,
Speaker 1: keep telling TLC that because I'm like, y'all need to
Speaker 1: have me on. They do, because who is watching else
Speaker 1: is gonna get the t like I get the te
Speaker 1: You know how many people that I know that say
Speaker 1: they started watching the show because of you. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1: Let me on this, damn everybody. And the thing about
Speaker 1: it is I get I still have to do the
Speaker 1: reunion one because people are like, what happened? I got busy?
Speaker 1: But what the hell is this show? So it's thirty
Speaker 1: and this is again this is again all into the
Speaker 1: not dick really and it ties in on the growth
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of ninety Day Fiance is you
Speaker 1: have people in the States. We have fallen in love
Speaker 1: with people abroad. However they met them, they either went
Speaker 1: on mostly online, and you know they get into these relationships.
Speaker 1: They're very quick. The people become impatient. You want to
Speaker 1: be around the person that you love all the time,
Speaker 1: right because it's brand new. You want them there. So
Speaker 1: what happens is a lot of times these people get
Speaker 1: hustled because they want the person here. They have to
Speaker 1: marry that person for that person to stay here. They
Speaker 1: come here on a K one visa, which only gives
Speaker 1: visa didn't know, we don't know what t is. Kawe
Speaker 1: visa gives you ninety days to come here, be engaged
Speaker 1: and get married after that ninety days if you haven't
Speaker 1: got married. That persons and brilliant. Yeah, but it causes
Speaker 1: women to like not investigate even men. You know, this
Speaker 1: is the take a show like women and men are
Speaker 1: both making missteps. You know, it's about also being thirsty
Speaker 1: and this is the thing that I know, like when
Speaker 1: you come through the first levels high but there's also
Speaker 1: like for as much as and I mean to say
Speaker 1: exploit is the wrong word, but that's what it is.
Speaker 1: That's what it is. They want to come to this
Speaker 1: country and they want to be sometimes a person who
Speaker 1: is vulnerable. You see a lot of women who are
Speaker 1: like you know this one girl, I call her March
Speaker 1: of Dimes. March like I think she had a cleft
Speaker 1: lip that was fixed and more. I'm gonna call the
Speaker 1: March of Dimes. It's more of like her, herr dimes.
Speaker 1: She's the jar next to the cash register that you
Speaker 1: gotta put that change. I've heard of that. This guy
Speaker 1: that was like really handsome, he's from Russia and a
Speaker 1: handsome US and he's beating her. He like emotionally step
Speaker 1: is whipping around. He's Russian. I don't want women to
Speaker 1: do this. She couldn't go to a back she he
Speaker 1: got pissed when she went to a backs red party.
Speaker 1: He got to stop her sisters out, Like you go,
Speaker 1: why would you put yourself in a situation like that,
Speaker 1: because well you live. I figured she lives in Texas. Like, no,
Speaker 1: no disrespect to Texas. There's a lot of marginal bitches
Speaker 1: all out America. And I'm keeping it real. There's marginal people.
Speaker 1: Keep it real. Let me qualify when I'm listeners, wait,
Speaker 1: let me qualify before people get who the fuck is this
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is there are a lot of marginal,
Speaker 1: subpar bitches that you can go anywhere and see that
Speaker 1: they got men that loved that. Do you understand what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, So there's no reason to say I can't
Speaker 1: get I went to Tucky one time, and I'm talking
Speaker 1: about they got farmers, cows getting married. What the cat
Speaker 1: bitches with no makeup, looking like they just came up
Speaker 1: the farm where overall's got men that loved it. So
Speaker 1: like they've been like, well, I reckon, she sucks, she sucks.
Speaker 1: You know when you when you look at a woman,
Speaker 1: you go, oh, this bitch ain't all of that, and
Speaker 1: then you go, oh, but this bitch knows she's all that,
Speaker 1: which she thinks she all that. So what I think
Speaker 1: is like a lot of times we get as women,
Speaker 1: we put so much of our value in what a
Speaker 1: man thinks of us. I mean, you know, Sidney, not you,
Speaker 1: but you know you're gonna hit me hard you out
Speaker 1: here like that. I was with Dick way before standing there.
Speaker 1: But we're talking about now, you're talking about right now,
Speaker 1: saying right now, we're talking about right now. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: can't really confused about what you really want damn speak
Speaker 1: on this because let me let me turn up, let
Speaker 1: me turn up your make this Kelly Rowland wig she
Speaker 1: got o god, you know this age and them like
Speaker 1: come get me like little hat you ship that like
Speaker 1: you know real lesbian is like I don't think of this.
Speaker 1: Cute it out of my face, like did you just h?
Speaker 1: And m bitch bitch is down Sydney's not h. She's
Speaker 1: at least a Zara. Okay, this is a Zara sister here,
Speaker 1: I am a tap of shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm
Speaker 1: a strawberry. And you may seas or whatever the fun
Speaker 1: like I tell you it's Bloomy's, but really it's below basement. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's iron c Yes, well, you know what, I've been
Speaker 1: dressing up and doing all the ship for so long
Speaker 1: that it's just so hard to get out of it.
Speaker 1: Even as the brokens that I am, I still find
Speaker 1: a way I stay in rainbow, like I can't dressed
Speaker 1: this up and be and being and I'm and you
Speaker 1: know what, be who if you like I'm teasing because
Speaker 1: there's obviously there's all ranges of women who like different
Speaker 1: type of women is women that like you know, maybe
Speaker 1: a butcher woman women at like like a more feminine woman.
Speaker 1: I understand that, but at some point we are still
Speaker 1: putting our value of who we are into how somebody
Speaker 1: receives us. So, so what happened? So you were tired
Speaker 1: of doing that? I got into and I think you
Speaker 1: all know, and without making it a big thing, because
Speaker 1: but you always stay done though. I never see you
Speaker 1: looking crazy. Oh I look you in the park. I
Speaker 1: be on things where people do my wigs and stuff,
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, all right, I'm gonna just keep
Speaker 1: this on a mannequin so I don't fuck this up.
Speaker 1: Like if you saw me like my dorman. When I
Speaker 1: first moved into my building, they thought I was like
Speaker 1: some type of hook or something because during the day
Speaker 1: I'd be looking like Oprah without the makeup. That's a
Speaker 1: hard don't you talk about? Hold on the podcast, post
Speaker 1: the podcast and the google Oprah no makeup, and then
Speaker 1: she's still a queen and she still nobody's saying Oprah
Speaker 1: is a queen, not a queen. But what we're saying
Speaker 1: that she got a hard face with that making lobrial.
Speaker 1: Uh bring me all my life. I had to fight
Speaker 1: all my life she's fighting. Now you got to kick
Speaker 1: backing box of class and she runs up one hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty fifth. I'm so tired. I did you know
Speaker 1: I got into a situation. I was dealing with one
Speaker 1: fuck boy after the next. Fuck boy? Where were you
Speaker 1: meeting these people just out shows comedy? Well, we're not
Speaker 1: going to act like we don't know what boy I'm
Speaker 1: talking about the listeners don't know. You don't need to
Speaker 1: know because he knows and respect listeners. I love y'all.
Speaker 1: We I've gotten to a good place with him. I'm cool.
Speaker 1: Like again, I'm you hilarious, and you know he's going
Speaker 1: to be a rising star and it don't have to
Speaker 1: be Wow, you didn't work through with your therapist? Wow,
Speaker 1: you really walk through? No, no, no, it's not this.
Speaker 1: No dick twenty seventeen put me in a different perspective,
Speaker 1: because I'll be honest with you, that particular situation coupled
Speaker 1: with other situations in my life. Really, it was like,
Speaker 1: how come I get so broken every time something doesn't
Speaker 1: work out with a dude? And then I get upset
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh, I haven't even made an assessment
Speaker 1: of this dude, whether I should have been even dealing
Speaker 1: with this since you knew that. No, I didn't know
Speaker 1: when I You gotta remember I was friends with this person.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, yes, remember you know. And that's why
Speaker 1: I said they have to know my narrative. My narrative
Speaker 1: is I didn't I love my Virginia in twenty seven.
Speaker 1: I grew up religiously lost in the twenty seven twenty
Speaker 1: get married. Wow, Evonne Orchie still has hers and her
Speaker 1: because when you taking it into your forties like that,
Speaker 1: you might. I think she's thirty four. I think she
Speaker 1: like my god, no food. You know, I know. I
Speaker 1: got her confused. I'm sorry because I mixed up who
Speaker 1: you were talking. I was thinking about, what's a name
Speaker 1: from Parks and Wreck. I was like, I can't think
Speaker 1: of her name is like on or something about Retta
Speaker 1: the Black But the other one, I don't know who
Speaker 1: she's talking about. I've never seen times whatever feel good?
Speaker 1: There's another one. There's another Uh, there's women in their forties.
Speaker 1: This that's not like I was part of a virginity club.
Speaker 1: You don't even get it. Like we was keeping like
Speaker 1: you had rings and stuff. We would like if a
Speaker 1: girl was in our club. Was dating somebody. Somebody had
Speaker 1: to go on a date with her. That sounds like
Speaker 1: trying to do that to me. And I'm so good
Speaker 1: at what I taking Sydney, but you had to take
Speaker 1: my friend out. But I got to be there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I'll be there in the morning. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That begins to red. That's a song. That's what I
Speaker 1: was singing in church and at first in the Emeralds.
Speaker 1: That was in the book of Hymns. Yeah, page gets up.
Speaker 1: So you got in a good place with this situation.
Speaker 1: But this person. But here's the thing. You have a
Speaker 1: connection with a guy or a girl and then it's
Speaker 1: it finds its way into a physical thing. And what
Speaker 1: I realized, I can't speak from a man's perspective because
Speaker 1: I'm not a man. I don't believe little man's experience.
Speaker 1: I mean, but that's to say that I have male
Speaker 1: friends of mine who have been hurt by women, and
Speaker 1: where are they? Where are they? I know a good
Speaker 1: portion of dudes, and I have to constantly tell them,
Speaker 1: I said, don't. And and what happens when a man
Speaker 1: gets broken is he either becomes nasty to women. And
Speaker 1: I said, you don't want to be the man now
Speaker 1: because you've been heard that goes out and hurts women
Speaker 1: to spite this woman, because these women have to sound
Speaker 1: very is you say nerves you regular black American man.
Speaker 1: But it's it's do you know that whole philosophy of
Speaker 1: like her people or her people? But as a woman,
Speaker 1: when you have sex with a man, or you become
Speaker 1: intimate with someone and we connect on these different levels
Speaker 1: or even city in your case with women and women
Speaker 1: is emotion, man, it is. It's all emotions. It's all talking.
Speaker 1: It's less physical, more talking. You know, a lot of
Speaker 1: my emotion is there. You you misinterpret what's really going
Speaker 1: on because it's like, oh, I like how you make
Speaker 1: me feel. And I also think that this is love
Speaker 1: because we are also friends. And although a friendship and
Speaker 1: love and all that can coexist together, it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: like if I'm make an assessment of this dude, I'm
Speaker 1: not making a pure assessment of him because I haven't
Speaker 1: qualified how he treats me. Right, So you have to
Speaker 1: break down each thing. You have to break down friends,
Speaker 1: break down this. It sounds like a word problem that
Speaker 1: I don't want to solve. Let's do it, Let's not
Speaker 1: do it. But you see, I'm somebody I'm not good
Speaker 1: with commitment. I'm like a commitment folk, right so like
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, but but I'm telling you right now
Speaker 1: you have a commitment phobia because you don't want to
Speaker 1: get hurt and you don't want to break down those walls.
Speaker 1: You know. You know what, don't you, doctor phil Man.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to you because the part of the
Speaker 1: there's a you know, I'm a good medium between the
Speaker 1: both of you because I understand you. You know, Marie
Speaker 1: is ice so she can turn on it don refrigerator.
Speaker 1: That's not the ice cube. She's the ice. You know
Speaker 1: what she is? Ice pack in the back, but fresh water,
Speaker 1: you know, the water ice come in and she's like,
Speaker 1: all right, y'all, I'm here. We got to do the ice.
Speaker 1: Honestly I am. But I also have a bubbly side
Speaker 1: like Marie. I mean like Sydney, and it takes a
Speaker 1: minute to get there. But I get there only when
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable, and it takes I'm the person. When I
Speaker 1: come into a room, people get the wrong impression. You
Speaker 1: gotta take a coat off, you gotta take your hat off,
Speaker 1: you gotta fix your shoes, brush your cat, hair off
Speaker 1: your shoulder to people and feelings and emotions. So if
Speaker 1: I feel like it's some fun shit going on, I'm
Speaker 1: going to be the worst bitch you've ever I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna talk. I'm a limit what I'm saying, Oh, this
Speaker 1: girl is a bitch. If I come in and nevite
Speaker 1: and the spirit's right, I'm there because because because I
Speaker 1: open myself up holy to people, I don't have time
Speaker 1: to be opened up holy to people that just gonna
Speaker 1: misuse and mistreat. I feel like I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: seeing you for the first time, says wow, because I
Speaker 1: see it because I've seen you come into spaces and
Speaker 1: just be like, Nope, not here for none of these niggas.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, hey girl, you're like no, and I listen.
Speaker 1: When I first met you a niggas, she was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be no mentor and sister ship.
Speaker 1: We either we friends and that's it. Like, I don't
Speaker 1: be calling me asking me about coming everybody. I said,
Speaker 1: that's the but that's the first thing you said. You
Speaker 1: get a tattooed on the back, you can tell me.
Speaker 1: Don't mean about hustling. Because I gave her a hug
Speaker 1: and as I came in so hot, she came in
Speaker 1: like blazing from the soul of system and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be bothered with this. And she
Speaker 1: probably had on some booty shirts and I had her.
Speaker 1: We was probably like twenty eight inches. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: she's like a skinny ass video ho. And she's like,
Speaker 1: hey girl, I to comedy too. And you were like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't. I know you don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you do, but it's not what I do.
Speaker 1: So that happened. Uh, you were messing around with a
Speaker 1: bunch of people that were not good for you. You're
Speaker 1: good for you. Fortifying that's the word of the podcast.
Speaker 1: Like I love to love people. I love like when
Speaker 1: you're around me and you really get to know me.
Speaker 1: There's a childlike essence that people always pick up because
Speaker 1: I'm very like, sitting in your space, I can love
Speaker 1: on you, especially when you're on an edible nigga Wow,
Speaker 1: even when I'm not I can have that. But it
Speaker 1: comes from trust. And what I really realized is there
Speaker 1: I did not want to be broken by somebody saying
Speaker 1: they didn't want to be in my space. And in
Speaker 1: my life anymore. Well, if you don't want to be there,
Speaker 1: then why are you in my face right now? That's true,
Speaker 1: But from my perspective, every every time somebody would leave,
Speaker 1: or every time a god broke my heart, or I
Speaker 1: would take all of that on myself in a victim way,
Speaker 1: and then I would put all of it on him,
Speaker 1: and he is the villain. And the reality is but
Speaker 1: let me tell you why. But it comes back to
Speaker 1: why I said no, Dick twenty seventeen. Let's talking about it.
Speaker 1: I did not want to deal with men in a
Speaker 1: sexual way and have any penis any of that because
Speaker 1: what happens is my core value of what I want
Speaker 1: as a woman is I want you to take me
Speaker 1: out to dinner. I want you. That's my core value
Speaker 1: as a person. So but hear me out because I
Speaker 1: want them to get because I think it's an important
Speaker 1: message that I that I learned this year. It's like,
Speaker 1: there's certain things. I want you to love me the
Speaker 1: way I love you. I want you to respect me.
Speaker 1: I want you to see my mind. I want you
Speaker 1: to like go Yaive is a dope bitch, Like no
Speaker 1: matter what she I respect what she's got going on.
Speaker 1: This is the woman that I want to be with.
Speaker 1: This is the woman that I want to show the world.
Speaker 1: But ultimately that's what people want to be with you.
Speaker 1: And because I was fucking guys thinking let me with them,
Speaker 1: the love would come, qualifying whether they need to be
Speaker 1: in my life or not. I'm giving them because I
Speaker 1: know we all want this like slut walk and women
Speaker 1: do whatever they want and fu whoever you want. But
Speaker 1: let's be real as women for a second. Our beauty
Speaker 1: and being a woman is the value of our body.
Speaker 1: Our bodies are special. I don't give a five you
Speaker 1: two pads or three thousand pounds on your fuck if
Speaker 1: you're hideous to people of your most beautiful like as
Speaker 1: a woman, your body and this and what we receive
Speaker 1: from men is very important. Men ejaculate into women women.
Speaker 1: I mean that beautiful is three three thousand pounds a
Speaker 1: lot of pounds. He's not for no, no, no, Because
Speaker 1: like it's very important to understand that women are vessels
Speaker 1: that received you pick up that when a man comes
Speaker 1: into you and he puts his he's dropping that spirit
Speaker 1: off inside the spirit. But we're picking up energy and
Speaker 1: vibration that you may not need to pick up from
Speaker 1: this dude, because has this dude, And this is not
Speaker 1: about because some guy's like, Oh, women are just trying
Speaker 1: to be golden, You're just trying to give it together. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to see what value you place on
Speaker 1: my life and is it worthy of the love and
Speaker 1: the value that I'm about to give to you. Because
Speaker 1: more you coming to me and my body and fuck
Speaker 1: up my spirit and don't have your ship together, Let's
Speaker 1: qualify whether we need to even be in the same space.
Speaker 1: But are you my mate? Are you the guy that's
Speaker 1: gonna hold me down? Are you the guy? That's what
Speaker 1: I'm so, that's what she's saying, that's what I'm hearing. No,
Speaker 1: it's about love. First of all, love me, but I
Speaker 1: would love me because men will fuck you. A man
Speaker 1: will fuck you all day long, and women go a
Speaker 1: lot because there's a lot of it. May not be y'all,
Speaker 1: but there's a lot of women out here going, oh
Speaker 1: but he he sucked me, He to me, and I
Speaker 1: hear I don't even know, Yo, she got so crazy?
Speaker 1: Why she gets so crazy? I was just fucking her, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Did you tell her you was just sucking her? Were
Speaker 1: you giving Were you saying things to her that was
Speaker 1: giving her encouragement and things? But all this was seeing
Speaker 1: situations whereas the dude has been upfront like, hey man,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do nothing, but women is like, oh,
Speaker 1: but I feel like we can get to that, and
Speaker 1: can I speak on that? Can I speak on that?
Speaker 1: Because again it's a out taking responsibility on both sides.
Speaker 1: This is not me saying men are fucked up and
Speaker 1: a woman take responsibility for what you want, what you
Speaker 1: want to deal with, what you want out of your life.
Speaker 1: It's about knowing yourself and knowing how you want this
Speaker 1: to go. And if you're looking at this man and
Speaker 1: you already got your list together, what the fuck you
Speaker 1: want when you see this nigga is not the ship
Speaker 1: you want, don't fuck him. And if you cause it,
Speaker 1: don't happen fast to you. And let me tell you
Speaker 1: what a guy gogo. You know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, I ain't really trying to give no relationship
Speaker 1: right now? You don't try to do my thing? Even
Speaker 1: that to a woman is like it's a challenge. I could.
Speaker 1: It's me. I'm different. Every woman sometimes they different, And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna love it. That's why you see women like
Speaker 1: giving loving niggas beyond what they get. You go, why
Speaker 1: the fuck you supporting this nigga, Loving this nigga so much? Oh,
Speaker 1: but he's misunderstand and he one day I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: him a man right away if he wants to be
Speaker 1: with you and beat your man and married. That's why
Speaker 1: women go. I fucked around with this dude for years.
Speaker 1: I gave him everything, and in the next chick he
Speaker 1: get with that Marri that he know for four seconds
Speaker 1: he done married her. Because guess what you done? Did
Speaker 1: everything that you don't spend sponsoring this nigga, but that
Speaker 1: he can get his ship together to go be the
Speaker 1: man of another woman's dream with a man you get
Speaker 1: in your fucking vagina that's coming and ejaculating in commus
Speaker 1: nigga that's supposed to be using. I'm not here for
Speaker 1: a cream pie. I know I'm using condoms, but with
Speaker 1: Listener and all of that stuff, I was kidding. Nigga's
Speaker 1: nutting in you and just releasing that ship and going,
Speaker 1: I'm not ready to do it. I might need to
Speaker 1: do eighteen No, I'm telling, but you know what when
Speaker 1: I stopped fucking dudes, and dudes knew I was not fucking.
Speaker 1: I got this type. I got several types of dudes.
Speaker 1: First dude I got was a yo, let me let
Speaker 1: me be around for twenty eighteen oh two. As soon
Speaker 1: as twenty eighteen was creeping around, my dms went through
Speaker 1: the roof because every nigga thought they was gonna be
Speaker 1: the first nigga to fuck me in twenty eighteen. No,
Speaker 1: thank you, you think I went on through a whole
Speaker 1: year a no dick to go fuck with some raggedy niggas.
Speaker 1: It's not my future. Absolutely not raggedy. Answer your question
Speaker 1: that you asked me before. Have I fucked yet? Absolutely
Speaker 1: not the guy that I'm I didn't do twenty and seventeen.
Speaker 1: No dick to go and then fuck with a fuck
Speaker 1: boy before. And but that if I want to fuck
Speaker 1: a guy and it's just on fuck shit, that I
Speaker 1: gotta treat that dude the same way a dude treats
Speaker 1: a girl if he's just trying to fuck. No, nigga,
Speaker 1: we not going out. No, you only come over. Don't
Speaker 1: call me on the phone. We're just fucking Don't call
Speaker 1: me on the phone. Man, No man, that I want
Speaker 1: to be my husband that's gonna come in and go.
Speaker 1: I want to let you know that I'm worthy of you, Yaminika,
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna go, I want you to know
Speaker 1: that I'm worthy of you. Whoever he is, that's the
Speaker 1: guy that I'm gonna treat with care. That's my only
Speaker 1: issue with you is like I want somebody to love
Speaker 1: the way I love it. That's impossible. Nobody's gonna love
Speaker 1: Like what do you mean? I said loveday Early earlier,
Speaker 1: he was like, I want somebody who's gonna love me
Speaker 1: the way I love, like the way I give it.
Speaker 1: You know, listen, I y'all know, I cook, I clean
Speaker 1: when people come over. You got them cats. But it's
Speaker 1: a full like what do you want? What do you need?
Speaker 1: Everybody having a good time? I give it and care.
Speaker 1: I may not get a husband that is like that,
Speaker 1: attentive like that, but there's gotta be something in him
Speaker 1: that he shows his love and the way and I go.
Speaker 1: I can deal with that. You know, my grandfather's not
Speaker 1: a big talker, right, He wasn't a big huge talker.
Speaker 1: The way he showed love was giving us money, making
Speaker 1: sure we had a roof off our head. Sure that
Speaker 1: he's as women. You know, my grandfa is always like
Speaker 1: as a woman, understand being a gonna fuck around, be
Speaker 1: the woman, be a strong woman. My grandfather raised it
Speaker 1: to be like that. My grandmother's way of showing love
Speaker 1: was here, everybody get you get a pot pie, like
Speaker 1: she make a pot pie for everybody. This is what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, everybody. You're giving everybody when you come home.
Speaker 1: It's like everybody got a pot pie for them. It's
Speaker 1: not like giving away random She give you all Bible tracks.
Speaker 1: Now that that wasn't special. You know, we used to
Speaker 1: about Bible tracks on Saturdays. But that's a whole other story.
Speaker 1: Call me in for a Christian expert. Now, I feel
Speaker 1: like you are one the overall message, and I know
Speaker 1: I'm getting passionate. I'm sure the people like passionate because
Speaker 1: this is important to you. And you had no dick
Speaker 1: for a whole year. You built up, girl, built up.
Speaker 1: You gotta because my mind. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: The only reason why I'm able to sit in the
Speaker 1: same room with the guy that I cried over for
Speaker 1: months everason I thought about him, shed tears, is because
Speaker 1: I go he's not my dude. Anyway, when I fuck
Speaker 1: him again, I don't know. Probably I love fucking him. Damn.
Speaker 1: Wow was no, No, it wasn't. What I'm saying is
Speaker 1: I'm using that as an example of like, how far
Speaker 1: you're not liking fucking him. I liked fucking him, but
Speaker 1: what I was mixing up was that I loved him
Speaker 1: and I didn't because he's not the man for me.
Speaker 1: We don't. He's a cool friend, but he ain't the
Speaker 1: man for me. He got he's not even a man
Speaker 1: for himself yet. He trying to be the man for him.
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, like for real. And the the
Speaker 1: other thing I learned going through twenty seventeen is I
Speaker 1: wasn't the woman that I needed to be for man.
Speaker 1: I won't like you learn that. I did learn that
Speaker 1: I was really you know what you And it's so
Speaker 1: funny because periodically you'll step out of yourself and you
Speaker 1: know what, really, girlfriend, I'll wake up in the middle
Speaker 1: of night and be like, oh my god, that time
Speaker 1: that he said that thing, and then I just like
Speaker 1: I was a really I was. I was not good.
Speaker 1: I was a really bad girl. I think you've changed.
Speaker 1: If you see somebody, if you start dating somebody, now, no,
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna do I'm gonna do I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: other bad stuff, but I'm not gonna do that stuff right.
Speaker 1: I'm more I'm more marine now than I was when
Speaker 1: I'm was people. But we also have to remember that
Speaker 1: people are only gonna do what no people are gonna
Speaker 1: like you're only people are only gonna do what you
Speaker 1: let them do to you. That's it. So in that situation,
Speaker 1: I mean, eventually he's trying to open you up three
Speaker 1: years and you're like, dude, I don't say I love
Speaker 1: you like that. It was. It was so different because
Speaker 1: this dude that I was with, he was real emotional,
Speaker 1: he was like he was in touch with who he
Speaker 1: was like. He just wanted to talk about everything. And
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I'm not doing that, I say
Speaker 1: to you, because I can't say it was absolutely certainly
Speaker 1: because life is so. But I guarantee you that you
Speaker 1: will come across a man that you will want to
Speaker 1: say I love you too, And I'm sure that and
Speaker 1: I think that too. I think that too, But I
Speaker 1: just mean that, like where we were in our lives,
Speaker 1: this guy was ten years older than me. He was
Speaker 1: more he was on a different level than I was,
Speaker 1: mentally right. And also I'm a taker and he was
Speaker 1: a giver. You keep giving me, I'm just gonna keep
Speaker 1: taking it. It's true he was giving and getting at
Speaker 1: his home. He gave his time. He gave all the
Speaker 1: food that I ate for three years. Like he was
Speaker 1: just giving and I was just taking. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is great. And in his book he probably has
Speaker 1: this whole story about Marie. But being the person on
Speaker 1: the outside, no, no, you never know when you blow up, bitch.
Speaker 1: You were like, you gotta write a show. Yeah, oh shit,
Speaker 1: I want to watch the ship. Now blow up, bitch.
Speaker 1: You gotta go out there to La and blow up,
Speaker 1: because I'm telling you, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: on my Instagram commentating on that ship. Did you do
Speaker 1: this to him? Take it from I'm watching on the
Speaker 1: watch on the outside. And as a as a giver,
Speaker 1: you just put on your lips still look dry. And
Speaker 1: some who says chapter as a as a giver, I'm
Speaker 1: seeing that like if you give, people are gonna take.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna say no thank you, especially if they're in
Speaker 1: a place where they need well, some people will people
Speaker 1: some people will say no, thank you, but a lot
Speaker 1: of times more often than not, if you're just giving
Speaker 1: your time, your love, your energy, people will just take
Speaker 1: that right. Like we all know people that you see
Speaker 1: them and they're complaining and they unload all of their
Speaker 1: problems on you, but they don't ask how you're doing.
Speaker 1: But that's an example of them taking it from you.
Speaker 1: The most dangerous person is in that scenario the person
Speaker 1: that gives, because over time, that person that gives builds
Speaker 1: up resentment and builds up a callous and the person
Speaker 1: that's taking, they just go off to l a for
Speaker 1: two months and leave you. Wow, Yeah, it's true. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you just gonna leave and forget about the time for
Speaker 1: the podcast. I feel like we've been here for several hours.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're just gonna leave a podcast, you know,
Speaker 1: a stranded like this. You see you see me pre
Speaker 1: recording with you, recording for the month. This is like
Speaker 1: we got ten weeks ten weeks episode. I know. But
Speaker 1: I'm saying me as a giver, and now I'm in
Speaker 1: a situation in a relationship where somebody else gives way
Speaker 1: more than me, and I'm like, oh, I'm on the
Speaker 1: other end now, And I feel like unless you have
Speaker 1: a soul and a conscience, you won't feel bad about
Speaker 1: the taking that you can't give back now, not until
Speaker 1: like two years after ya breakup, when you home in
Speaker 1: your pre war apartment. Like Tim, I was a crappy person. No,
Speaker 1: I mean some people never realize that they were crappy people.
Speaker 1: People don't. I mean. I have my father's mother, Lily Maisondos,
Speaker 1: who's Lily May. She was one of the sweetest women,
Speaker 1: and both my grandmothers taught me a lot about generosity,
Speaker 1: which is important to teach to The one thing Lily
Speaker 1: made would always when she would she would be so sweet.
Speaker 1: When she would get upset, she would be like now
Speaker 1: you know, and it would be like the cutest little thing.
Speaker 1: You look at her and go you upset, Like we
Speaker 1: were like huge. It was so cute because it was
Speaker 1: a part of her that could not help, but like
Speaker 1: not want to make you angry with her anger. And
Speaker 1: I always thought, I said, when she was laid to rest,
Speaker 1: I said, my grandmother gave a lot, and I don't
Speaker 1: know how many people really gave back to a lot
Speaker 1: of people used her a lot of time. I felt
Speaker 1: about and that's why I want. You know, people can
Speaker 1: get whatever they want. My own personal experience with no
Speaker 1: Dick twenty seventeen was what it was. It was a journey.
Speaker 1: I want a journey. But I got on the other
Speaker 1: side and some women joined me and said, you know,
Speaker 1: I wanted to try that. It wasn't just about focusing
Speaker 1: on not having Dick. It was like, let's that ain't
Speaker 1: even a focus at all. Now, I take myself to
Speaker 1: a museum and have a good time by myself. I
Speaker 1: would take myself to dinner, took dates, movies, I dated myself. See,
Speaker 1: but that's I mean, I'm not at the point in
Speaker 1: my life where I can you can take myself to
Speaker 1: I walk all the times as I'm poor. I walked
Speaker 1: to the bus, I walked to the train, I walked
Speaker 1: in your journal. I have a movie journal. I would
Speaker 1: take babs. Can't Oh, I love that. I do think
Speaker 1: myself a nice dinner at home. Listen, y'all act like
Speaker 1: I'm rolling in the dough. I'm I got I got
Speaker 1: a penny pinch too. So it's like, yeah, but what
Speaker 1: you what you buyd like, if you're making yourself dinner,
Speaker 1: what you make it for yourself. You make it tender
Speaker 1: loin or something. You make it. She making a whole Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: She's making like a rack of rip make it Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: I have, you know, Like now, I'm eating clean so
Speaker 1: it's like a lot of protein and and clean. What
Speaker 1: does clean me? I'm eating a lot of chicken, a
Speaker 1: lot of big chicken. Okay, nothing fried, nothing fried, no
Speaker 1: batter on it. Every now and then I'll have a
Speaker 1: cheeseburger with no flavorless like the lettuce wrap you that's
Speaker 1: the lettuce bun. I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I thought you were doing well, but you
Speaker 1: don't need that. But you really don't. I love bread,
Speaker 1: door bread so light since I stopped eating bread and
Speaker 1: all that. Now, let me pick you up like you
Speaker 1: really feel I said, I feel like I say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna float up in the clouds. Damn my god.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do my best. So what was the worst
Speaker 1: part about No Dick twenty seventeen. Let's get tell me
Speaker 1: about the urges? The worst part, the thing that you were.
Speaker 1: The worst part was saying to myself, am I okay
Speaker 1: with being alone forever? And am I okay? Real ask
Speaker 1: question because I'm getting older and maybe it won't happen.
Speaker 1: But I had to. I face that question every day
Speaker 1: of the No Dig twenty seventeen and I still face
Speaker 1: it to this day. And I just said to myself,
Speaker 1: it was like last week, I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe I won't get married, maybe I won't have kids.
Speaker 1: I would love to be married, I would love to
Speaker 1: have children, but maybe it won't happen. And I'm and
Speaker 1: when I talked to my mother, my mother goes, there's
Speaker 1: a difference in you, like of the dependency. It's to
Speaker 1: be very co dependent on my family, and they financially
Speaker 1: supported me for many many years. They I was the
Speaker 1: only child my mother had. It was baby that grew
Speaker 1: up only child that I have half sisters. So it's
Speaker 1: since my grandmother's passing it's been a disconnect of like
Speaker 1: disconnecting from all the things that were holding me up
Speaker 1: because one day they may not be there. Y. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is such a real feeling, too real, because you know,
Speaker 1: like like if you're lucky enough to grow with your
Speaker 1: mother and father or your family, your aunts, whoever, and
Speaker 1: you call them every day, like I speak to my
Speaker 1: mother every day. If I don't. She thinks I'm dead
Speaker 1: right recently because I don't see my mother as often anymore.
Speaker 1: So when I see her, I'm like, oh, like I
Speaker 1: can see my mom is getting older? Now does that
Speaker 1: make sense? Like I see it in her, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: one day, my mom is not gonna be here. So
Speaker 1: when I be on the phone with her and I
Speaker 1: want to yell at her or say something smart, I
Speaker 1: have to like, I'm gonna suck it in because these
Speaker 1: moments are not gonna be here forever. And the disconnect
Speaker 1: that you were saying, I'm on the other end. I'm
Speaker 1: not cool with my family like that. And the people
Speaker 1: who were very close to me, who raised me, they're
Speaker 1: all passed away. So I feel like I don't have
Speaker 1: something to hold on. So my emotions are not as
Speaker 1: strong as they were before. Like I feel like I
Speaker 1: could do whatever because I don't have all these people
Speaker 1: looking over and to disappoint them. You know you this,
Speaker 1: and I know like I get busy, but I always
Speaker 1: told you you could call me anytime, and yes, you
Speaker 1: can't call me before nine, no, because that's a real
Speaker 1: like I understand, like with you know, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just my grandfather and he's in hospice right now, so
Speaker 1: we don't know how long he's got. And my aunt
Speaker 1: who's already has all these handicaps, so she no telling
Speaker 1: how long she has And if people die in the
Speaker 1: natural order they told to die, how it is now
Speaker 1: something gonna happen, I could get who knows, but you know,
Speaker 1: everybody lives in life to the fullest that they can live.
Speaker 1: And you may be alone and and the reality is,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you about one of the weakest moments I
Speaker 1: had in two thousand and tell me when my grandmother
Speaker 1: passed and I couldn't process it because I was just
Speaker 1: finishing up, you know, the show I was doing and
Speaker 1: we had to tape that day. And I remember being
Speaker 1: on a set. Oh yes, you wrote about it, yeah,
Speaker 1: And it was like really crazy. And uh Safari Nikki
Speaker 1: Minaja's ex boyfriend. Just so people know, I don't want
Speaker 1: to label him like that because he does his own love,
Speaker 1: but that's where we know him from. That's how he
Speaker 1: ended up on the show. And he was doing a
Speaker 1: schedule with us and he said something about he overheard
Speaker 1: me talking to somebody about my grandma. He said, I
Speaker 1: felt sadness on you, and he was telling me that
Speaker 1: he experienced two losses within the Yeah. I saw his
Speaker 1: show and it was like and he was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: it's all gonna be good. And I was like, he
Speaker 1: experienced to lose two people that were very close to
Speaker 1: him the same week. Yes, And then I had that.
Speaker 1: I said, you know, let me put it to the
Speaker 1: side for a minute. So I never really processed it.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to see my grandmother. I couldn't see
Speaker 1: her laid out, even though I had been with her
Speaker 1: in the hospital. When she my mother said she looked better,
Speaker 1: and you know what I'm saying then, but I just
Speaker 1: couldn't do it. I had to. They had to close
Speaker 1: the cask. I came and hugged the cab. I couldn't
Speaker 1: see her. But I had a moment where I don't
Speaker 1: because my grandmother died October the thirteenth, and we had
Speaker 1: her funeral about a week and a half later, and
Speaker 1: a guy from my past reconnected. Of course, they were like,
Speaker 1: she's weak, let's do it, let's do it. And I
Speaker 1: took him home and I took him home and he
Speaker 1: got in my bed, no, with his shoes on. With
Speaker 1: Forbes in Brooklyn, with the two cats. Well, the cats
Speaker 1: love him. They knew he had treats. He had treats
Speaker 1: in town. But he got in my bed and I
Speaker 1: realized we did not have sex. Oh, okay, you're trying
Speaker 1: to tell this at the top, y'all fooled around, don't lie.
Speaker 1: I didn't say we didn't fool around, but I was
Speaker 1: adamant about not having sex. I'll see. I'll just say
Speaker 1: whatever happened happened, but it was not sex. We did
Speaker 1: not have any intercourse. But I remember it's over podcast.
Speaker 1: This is a lot living a lot you did, and
Speaker 1: it was difficult. That's why I said that I was
Speaker 1: glad I didn't have that many cameras like that. But
Speaker 1: it's impossible almost sometimes. But I realized that all I
Speaker 1: was trying to press all of my emotion and my
Speaker 1: pain in being physical with him as much as I
Speaker 1: could be, and he he I was seeing that, Oh,
Speaker 1: he's just the same person he's always been. He's not
Speaker 1: available emotionally or so. I don't even think mentally to
Speaker 1: tell you the prof to be in a situation. So
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what done? And I blocked
Speaker 1: him from my life. Goodness, did you block him on
Speaker 1: social media, him on social media everything because at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, again no dick or no vagina
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, or so questioning yourself. To be
Speaker 1: alone with your thoughts, to be alone with yourself as
Speaker 1: a person, to really identify what you need is very
Speaker 1: important to being accessible, to be the person that somebody
Speaker 1: else can join in. Oh, my goodness, you need a
Speaker 1: whole class. I had to clear my space. I had
Speaker 1: to clear my I had to clear the distraction of
Speaker 1: fucking is great, having sex is amazing. I love sucking dick.
Speaker 1: I love At the end of the podcast, You're gonna
Speaker 1: wait until the fifty eight minute of the podcast say
Speaker 1: that I'm a scorpio, and that explains it. I don't
Speaker 1: know when I'm with the guy, it's like everything the
Speaker 1: ear is available. Oh that means you be looking as
Speaker 1: I have had my ass lit, but you've never ate ass.
Speaker 1: The thing about it is, I ain't trying to put
Speaker 1: my sney or the only one doing it or the
Speaker 1: only one doing it an admitting it to say I haven't.
Speaker 1: I haven't. Maybe I'll meet a guy one day where
Speaker 1: I will to look his ass. I also get around
Speaker 1: like guys like don't do nothing around my ass. You
Speaker 1: know what, they're not open enough. They need to have
Speaker 1: some molly in their life, some roofie. But I didn't
Speaker 1: want to distract, like how much fun I was having,
Speaker 1: and and we misconstrued like having sex is like this,
Speaker 1: I'm showing you how much I can't It's like, no,
Speaker 1: you're just you're trying to come and just it is.
Speaker 1: But if you're trying to find love, or you're trying
Speaker 1: to find a better understanding of love, it begins with
Speaker 1: you loving and knowing yourself because you don't know you hell,
Speaker 1: could you get somebody to love you and give you
Speaker 1: what you need? If you don't even know? Do you
Speaker 1: know what you need? If you don't know what you need? Well,
Speaker 1: how do you want it? How do you feel? Because
Speaker 1: a great poet? Then what a great poet once said?
Speaker 1: I think it was Legston Hughes. Yes he did. Well, y'all,
Speaker 1: gonni go, Where can people who are listening catch more
Speaker 1: of you? Know? People need? Well? You know I have.
Speaker 1: I had a stalker last night, so I had to
Speaker 1: take my schedule down again. Oh you and marine stalkers?
Speaker 1: Who is the stalker that somebody like followed you? From
Speaker 1: one show to another show. It's no somebody from like
Speaker 1: a weird it's a weird whole weird thing. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: guy like where's he wears like your skin? My gods
Speaker 1: are a big dead He like where he's. He's white
Speaker 1: and people don't so he has this. He has a
Speaker 1: T shirt of you of your face, and he got
Speaker 1: like mink coats and like the rings. But white dudes
Speaker 1: are when they marry, when they lock in, they they
Speaker 1: locked down. When they lock in, they lock Yeah. And
Speaker 1: I ain't trying to human centipede you know about, but
Speaker 1: I'll tell you this. You're in front of the State.
Speaker 1: You can catch me on my podcast Ran and Raven
Speaker 1: with how Many Good Friends. You can catch me on
Speaker 1: Laugh Mob Laugh Tracks on True TV. They are still
Speaker 1: running my episodes a lot and you can stream. You
Speaker 1: can stream it, yes absolutely, if you want to go
Speaker 1: back and check out my half hour on Comedy Central. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's there as well. I have a show coming out.
Speaker 1: It's supposed to come out in April, so you know,
Speaker 1: I can't talk about that, but I frequent Stand Up
Speaker 1: New York. They always have their schedules up so you
Speaker 1: can check Stand Up New York's website and when I'm
Speaker 1: going to be there, the stand they're always putting up
Speaker 1: when I'm there New York Comedy Club and oh my god,
Speaker 1: so lazy. Yes, and you're always on social media. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everything at that's y A M A N E I
Speaker 1: K A. And I love to respond. So if you
Speaker 1: just follow me and you comment, I can't. I know.
Speaker 1: I've been seeing people are like, this is not why
Speaker 1: I followed you. It'd be like an every white woman
Speaker 1: be like, well baby, I'm sorry, but what else would
Speaker 1: you like to see? I'd be screaming. Even if you
Speaker 1: don't see me say anything, I'd be lurking like it.
Speaker 1: I like it. I like it. I like your response,
Speaker 1: and I won't even like the post. I just let
Speaker 1: me see what the people say. You really have good
Speaker 1: engagement with your followers. Posted a side by side photo
Speaker 1: of two black dudes David al Yellow and then the
Speaker 1: Luge on the podcast right, but two black dudes with
Speaker 1: their white wives at the Black Panther premiere, and I
Speaker 1: just put Happy Black his three months. It was a
Speaker 1: hot topic for the amount of times people want to
Speaker 1: act like they don't want to talk about something like
Speaker 1: that and I'm glad I put that up for two reasons,
Speaker 1: One because hello, and two I had a lot of
Speaker 1: people that were very hurt, like I'm a product of
Speaker 1: it in a racial relationship or I'm in and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this has nothing to do with you. This is about
Speaker 1: a bigger narrative of there are black men who will
Speaker 1: say things that are disparaging to black women on why
Speaker 1: and why they're with white women. And anytime there's a
Speaker 1: negative going out on why you're doing something, let me
Speaker 1: tell you something right now, that's not love. This love
Speaker 1: is love shit, it's bullshit. Not every dude, every black
Speaker 1: dude that's dating a woman who's not black, is in love.
Speaker 1: Because I'm gonna be honest with my white girlfriends just too.
Speaker 1: If you heard how these niggas was talking about y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all would be because it's not. It's no love there
Speaker 1: for them. Sometimes it's like, well, I want a bitch
Speaker 1: and I can run over is what you think? Running
Speaker 1: track or pamsy bitches just here them. Have some esteem
Speaker 1: in yourself, like it sounds team of it so cute
Speaker 1: because sometimes you know to be because some white women's
Speaker 1: narrative is like, well, black woman just jealous of it,
Speaker 1: and it's like girls want him. We don't even want
Speaker 1: that dude. And sometimes, let's be really real, some of
Speaker 1: you white girls, the white dudes don't want y'all. So
Speaker 1: let's be really real about whether it's jealousy or not.
Speaker 1: As much as it is. He can fuck you and
Speaker 1: love you all he wants, don't you. He don't have
Speaker 1: to disrespect me in order to in order to love you.
Speaker 1: And I would tell that to a white guy. That's
Speaker 1: why I don't funk around with Some white dudes are like,
Speaker 1: oh that chocolate and blah blah blah. I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. If you ain't trying to love and fuck
Speaker 1: y'all Monika for who she is, get the fuck out
Speaker 1: of here. That don't be turning me on because hashtag
Speaker 1: me too. We was getting it when when motherfuckers was
Speaker 1: really not worried about time being up, when mother is
Speaker 1: saying nothing and they was coming in there taking us
Speaker 1: at that point here here. Not only issue with those
Speaker 1: two guys save that I see my only Christian if
Speaker 1: you do this at fifty eight minutes, you did this,
Speaker 1: You did this, Nica. The only issue I have with
Speaker 1: those two guys is that if you if they really
Speaker 1: love their wives, they wouldn't have brought those top shop
Speaker 1: sik's that she dressing like. They could have got their home,
Speaker 1: their whole family to make them the right type of
Speaker 1: out in the right pla, the rightik. But bitch in
Speaker 1: the did it right? Yeah, get it right? You got
Speaker 1: the same ship she had on I got for Halloween.
Speaker 1: I know you do camrazon type of level I did.
Speaker 1: I want to know you a bitch of zero to
Speaker 1: twenty six can wear that ship has changed, it got stretched,
Speaker 1: You got a lot of less like I got like
Speaker 1: talking about you, h and m wait, no you slave
Speaker 1: looking nig shirt. I wear a monkey nigga shirt every
Speaker 1: day and shout out to the white women that be
Speaker 1: holding me down because I also need you all to
Speaker 1: march for my ship. Yea, when y'all go to these women, march,
Speaker 1: march my album around it because I'm nowhere without white
Speaker 1: women holding me up. You know how white women get down.
Speaker 1: They love you to Yeah, nigga, we gotta go. We'll
Speaker 1: have you on another episode, so damn good. I hear
Speaker 1: we're gonna go get some munchkins or something. And Sidney's
Speaker 1: gonna give me a dollar as always. You can listen
Speaker 1: to bonus episodes on Patreon. My website is up and
Speaker 1: thriving Marie Foston dot com. I put my show dates
Speaker 1: up there and I was like, don't nobody crazy come
Speaker 1: to any of these shows. But it's out there. I
Speaker 1: needed the you know, it to look full. So it
Speaker 1: looks super full. And if you're gonna be in l
Speaker 1: A at all between now and April, police company me.
Speaker 1: We will party and I have my one woman show
Speaker 1: March eighteenth, if you're available to come at the Duplex,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be good. And I asked Sydney, I said,
Speaker 1: next time you do what, I want to direct it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you're too busy. Tell me what the fun on you?
Speaker 1: I know you. You just said all your dates and
Speaker 1: everything you have to do. You have a lot going on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need somebody who are dedicated. Yeah, you dedicate my time, bitch.
Speaker 1: Fuck around. I will be directing the next What Women
Speaker 1: Bottle Girl, and we're gonna change the title. That's the
Speaker 1: first thing that's getting directed. I see, that's boom. That's
Speaker 1: why you can't do it. You know what, Sydney was
Speaker 1: a hell of a bottle girl school that play okay,
Speaker 1: all right, Thanks guys, Bye,