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Speaker 1: Hey, Hello, Hello to Unofficial Podcasts with Marie and Sydney.

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Speaker 1: Hey sid Hey boo. I'm in a good mood. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for buying those donuts. I did buy some munchkins.

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Speaker 1: You are a good friend, but I feel like munchkins

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Speaker 1: ten for two point fifty feels like a ripoff. And

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Speaker 1: I gave you to fifty seven cents. So actually, we

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Speaker 1: bought the donuts. So I bought the donuts. We bought

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Speaker 1: the donuts. I brought me some loose change in the

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Speaker 1: bottom of heart purse. You too good to have my change.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I can a dollar, dude, you didn't give

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Speaker 1: me a full dollar. I have it and I have

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Speaker 1: assist but I definitely needed them donuts. That's a meal

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Speaker 1: for the day. How many donuts did you eat? I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I wasn't counting. I was like friends, I

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Speaker 1: feel like they gave us ten and you had maybe six.

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Speaker 1: That's a fucking lie. I got you an extra one

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Speaker 1: and said it was your birthday, even though it was

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Speaker 1: my birthday last week. But whatever's this either way. Shout

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Speaker 1: out to Nugget Donuts for the diabetes. They don't sponsor us,

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Speaker 1: so don't go there, but shout out to comedy, Hype

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Speaker 1: and Breather. We're in a studio today. Breathe is also

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Speaker 1: not sponsoring us. But for those of y'all who who

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Speaker 1: need If y'all are like cheating on your spouse, this

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Speaker 1: is a spot that you rent a room for meetings

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Speaker 1: and you rented by the hour, but like it's cheaper

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Speaker 1: than renting like a hotel. And they got Wi Fi

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Speaker 1: so you can blow somebody's back out and check your emails.

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Speaker 1: This is spot and email your wife. Listen, baby, I

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Speaker 1: can't meet you for lunch. Won't be there tonight. The

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Speaker 1: boss is riding my back. Literally, you're riding your boss.

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Speaker 1: And it doesn't show up in like the credit card statement. No,

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Speaker 1: it's exactly you can say. App it's like, oh, you

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Speaker 1: spent forty five hours for a day. Yes, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: were like that's lunch, that's lunch. What's breather? And that's

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Speaker 1: where we had food. That's where I had lunch. I

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Speaker 1: mean I was eating an ass, Sidney real question, have

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Speaker 1: you ever eaten ass? I feel like you've asked this

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Speaker 1: question on a podcast before. Yes, so what man? I

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Speaker 1: did it? So? What? So fucking what? The guest is

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Speaker 1: rolling her eyes at you. Okay, I did it. I

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Speaker 1: did it. It was like somebody you were with for

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Speaker 1: a long time. It felt like a long time. If

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Speaker 1: you've eaten ass, please tweet us on Twitter. I just

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Speaker 1: want to see who grows Murray. I'm not this person.

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Speaker 1: You always bring out the nasty and me. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I didn't ask you to eat my ass.

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Speaker 1: I was not there when you were doing that. You

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Speaker 1: always give me to say this dumb ass sh it

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Speaker 1: on this podcast. I'm done with this podcast. I'm time.

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Speaker 1: All right, well let this be the last episode. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is it? All right? Then, that's what it is.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever eaten nass? Hell? No, have you ever

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Speaker 1: gotten your ass eating? Yes? But it was very I

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Speaker 1: was I was caught off guard. It was like he

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Speaker 1: was down there and then he got he took a

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Speaker 1: wrong turn. It was like, wait, what I didn't like it?

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Speaker 1: Was it a boo? Was it a boo like your boyfriend? Yes,

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Speaker 1: the last nigga. That's why you mad at you and

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Speaker 1: you're gonna leave me, you know. Listen, if you got

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Speaker 1: your if you licked ass and got left, please find us.

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Speaker 1: Please jump on our Patreon and pay for bonus episodes.

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Speaker 1: Because that's obviously you need that the laughs in your life, Sydney,

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Speaker 1: were you an expert in anything? This week? I'm prepping

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Speaker 1: for you to leave. So I feel like when it's

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Speaker 1: come out, you're gonna ben And I feel like this

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Speaker 1: the episode is gonna be real sad. No it's not.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be listening to this episode and listen, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: she leave, damn Lie. I'm like, nobody gonna ask me,

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Speaker 1: so how's I don't know she They're going to ask

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Speaker 1: you even more than you're like, have you spoken to Marie?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, while she's out, she did well. So what

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Speaker 1: are you doing to prepare for me? Leave it? Oh?

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Speaker 1: You know, just I'm about to cut out a whole

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Speaker 1: bunch of pictures of you. You're just gonna cut my face,

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Speaker 1: cut you out, like like I dumpt you. Wow, Okay, cool, cool,

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Speaker 1: I'm cool with dad. That's fine. I'm looking for a replacement.

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Speaker 1: Maybe our guests could befal can do it. She booked

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Speaker 1: by and she is. You don't got some She's not

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Speaker 1: poor enough to be my replacement. She got too much

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Speaker 1: money in too many shows. That's true. You got to

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Speaker 1: get somebody who's doing bad. She got her own bathroom,

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Speaker 1: like she don't share it with seven other people, She's

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Speaker 1: doing too great. I mean only shared in my bathroom

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Speaker 1: with one person. Sins which you say, I shared my

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Speaker 1: bathroom with a woman and two other cats. So I'm

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Speaker 1: doing terrible. That's the let's being way. In twenty eight two, Marie,

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Speaker 1: were you an expert in anything this week? I was

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Speaker 1: an expert at preparing to go to La Yes, yes, yes, yes.

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Speaker 1: So I went to go at a suitcase from my

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Speaker 1: aunt's house. It was too small because I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be going for like a month and change. But

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Speaker 1: in my mind, I'm like, maybe I'll be going for

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Speaker 1: two months, Like what if I'm out there killing it

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Speaker 1: in a book? Something? Right? Because I bought it one

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Speaker 1: way ticket, it was cheap, cheap. Since let's talk about

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Speaker 1: how you do you ever buy around trips? No? I

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Speaker 1: always do it. They they they're cheaper that way. It's

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Speaker 1: cheaper to buy a round trip ticket since you you

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Speaker 1: don't pay for your flights. That's why you don't know.

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Speaker 1: Fuck you. I listen the way sprint, not the way

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Speaker 1: spirit is set up. You buy a one way, but

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Speaker 1: then you had to you had to pay for, like

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Speaker 1: bringing your purse on a plane. I don't bring nothing.

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Speaker 1: I just go there. I don't need to be like

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Speaker 1: your spirit be like, yeah, carry on can only be

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Speaker 1: the size of an envelope. And you'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is this is a book, and they'd be like,

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Speaker 1: you gotta pay twenty dollars for that. Listen, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be traveling this year, so I'm gonna be buying round trips.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry, I'll put it in the air well. I

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Speaker 1: go to one Way because I was like, maybe I'll

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Speaker 1: book something and I have to be there through April. True,

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Speaker 1: that's why. Or maybe I'll be there for like three

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Speaker 1: weeks and be like it's too nice out here, the

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Speaker 1: sun is too hot, and maybe I'll come back to

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Speaker 1: New York. That's probably not gonna happen. No, it's not.

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Speaker 1: I've already planned for two months of no Marie a word.

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Speaker 1: What you're gonna do the next month, what you're gonna

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Speaker 1: do in March. I'm gonna just get more in contact

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Speaker 1: with the brown sisters of the community. You don't know

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Speaker 1: no damn black everybody, Sydney. When I met you, you had

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Speaker 1: not a single black friend don't even do that to me.

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Speaker 1: I am your first black friend. Jo would be like.

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, I feel like people think that

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Speaker 1: I don't have black friends, And she's like, do you

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Speaker 1: think you do? Yes, I said, Adrian's my girlfriend, Marie's

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Speaker 1: my my best friend. She's like anybody else. It was like,

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Speaker 1: you're my friend, Yamnia is my friend. I'm a nigga.

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Speaker 1: Now your friend. Y'all are colleagues. Colleagues? Wow, Well, speaking

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Speaker 1: of colleagues, I feel like our guests that we're about

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Speaker 1: to bring in is more than a colleague. You're more

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Speaker 1: than a woman. You're more than a colleague, more than

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Speaker 1: a writer. You are inspiring all of the children out here.

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Speaker 1: You have a great podcast called uh Ranting and Raving.

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Speaker 1: Yaminika Saunders give it up for our no dick. I'm

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Speaker 1: no dick expert, Yami Saunders. First of all, you are

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Speaker 1: a friend and sister exactly. Yea. But also that's for me.

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't like fucking with people in general,

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Speaker 1: so you let us know. Yo, I turned my phone off,

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Speaker 1: I can close my door. I'm just a loner. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're obviously my sister and friend. I hang

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Speaker 1: out what y'all do with y'all? What than I deal

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Speaker 1: with anybody else. I don't like dealing with people, anybody else.

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Speaker 1: Since the last time I saw you was a long

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Speaker 1: term ago. You haven't been outside. I have friends who

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Speaker 1: are like, they haven't seen me in months. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a phone person. Now, I will say this,

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Speaker 1: y'all don't call enough. I called you when we were

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Speaker 1: on the phone. Were on the phone for a long Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we were hour and a half. I mean it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be praying for you. You put me on the circle.

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Speaker 1: I get the spirit of sin out of you. Yeah, this,

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Speaker 1: uh said, come on, you know Dick twenty seventeen expert.

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Speaker 1: It sounded a lot better than the intro. I just

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Speaker 1: got no Dick, Like I don't ever get well, don't

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Speaker 1: you don't get no idea you're out here driving No.

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Speaker 1: I mean we've already discussed. Nobody in the realm has

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Speaker 1: gotten Dick. Is got Dick in twenty seventeen. Nobody YO

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Speaker 1: put her hands in the circle right, No, it's a

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Speaker 1: sad circle. I don't want to because you're never gonna

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Speaker 1: get Dick. You hate you didn't know how my life

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Speaker 1: is set up. You don't know what the Lord has.

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Speaker 1: Plastic dick I have. Okay, well, then you've had dick.

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Speaker 1: You know that's not the same that's not the same thing.

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Speaker 1: That's the same same thing. No plastic dick is not

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Speaker 1: the same as dixis. You didn't have no plastic dick

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Speaker 1: in twenty seventeen. I didn't have anything in and out

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Speaker 1: of my huha. You don't have the hush apishie. You

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Speaker 1: don't have the little vibrator, the magic one, that giant

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Speaker 1: vibrator that's like the size of my arms. All. I

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Speaker 1: don't use those type of vibrators as dil do's. I

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Speaker 1: don't like putting things inside me that's not flesh. You

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Speaker 1: see that flesh that's in the Bible. That's sounds like

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Speaker 1: fusions or something. And actually boom, you see right way.

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Speaker 1: You don't have no toys. I just didn't have a

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Speaker 1: toy that just don't throw anything up. Mahu ha got

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Speaker 1: a little bullet like a little so you got a

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Speaker 1: little club, You got a vibrating club. Get scared and

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Speaker 1: then they put the cats. You you masturbated with the

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Speaker 1: cats in the room. I don't kick them out. You

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Speaker 1: gotta gets in front of the Cats, in front of

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Speaker 1: Forbes in Brooklyn, Shut Brooklyn and that sex young you

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Speaker 1: got fun. You know. They're there for every Even when

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Speaker 1: I have guys come over, the guys are like they

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Speaker 1: want to kick the cats out of the room, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not gonna put my babies outside on

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Speaker 1: the couch though you in the living room. Sometimes they

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Speaker 1: like they it's their house too, maybe living the dude's toes.

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Speaker 1: Actually a lot of guys, Like I haven't had a

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Speaker 1: lot of guys, but I have guys that have come

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Speaker 1: over and you know, we've hooked up and they jump,

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Speaker 1: you know, because the cats pounce on the bed. They

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Speaker 1: don't know because all they see is stuff moving around

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Speaker 1: and they think it's like play time. So when the

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Speaker 1: last time they've seen something in the bad Wait, hold

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Speaker 1: hold on, let's get back, let's go back. Let's go

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Speaker 1: back for a second. Oh yeah, yeah, we gotta we

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Speaker 1: gotta go back. First of all, yeah, you've we've tried

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Speaker 1: to get you on the podcast before and you were

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Speaker 1: our roasting experts. Yeah, but it turned into it was

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Speaker 1: in the eyes of a black woman. Send me that

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Speaker 1: so I can just listen to that, Okay, and do

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Speaker 1: you still have that episode? It? We had so much

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Speaker 1: fun though, right and then I wanted you to be

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Speaker 1: our Edibles expert because I feel like you are queen

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Speaker 1: of doing the Edibles. Whenever I see you, you and

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Speaker 1: you're in another world hire flying? Huh? Is that how

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Speaker 1: you deal with people? You gotta be Sometimes I just

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Speaker 1: like to forget, like I got, you know, for for

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Speaker 1: all everybody things I have going on, I'm still struggling

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Speaker 1: to hustle in and I have my broke moments still

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Speaker 1: because I have my expenses of gotten more, you know,

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Speaker 1: because you got a nice apartment. Yeah, I got a

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Speaker 1: nice apartment. I got, you got you got? You got

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Speaker 1: one of them cats? You got to you got too

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Speaker 1: spoiled ass cat. Yeah, like me got too spoiled ass

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Speaker 1: cats too. Yeah? What about your can yo? If worst

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Speaker 1: came the worst, Jelly gotta go. Jelly is jelly the

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Speaker 1: fat one. No, that's a skinny one, the fat one,

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Speaker 1: the skinny one. She can't fit for herself, so she

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Speaker 1: gotta go put her down. Wow. So wait, okay, so

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Speaker 1: you got expenses? What else? Tell people what you got

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Speaker 1: going on? Yeah? What are you working on? I know?

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Speaker 1: I mean, well, you're always posting about what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: What shows you're on? You're on, You're on laugh track

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Speaker 1: mob La. Yes, and I did a show last night

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Speaker 1: with Cipher Sounds at the Village Underground. How is that?

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Speaker 1: He played the clip from my Bikini Wax joke, which

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Speaker 1: was really funny. I really love you did a great job.

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Speaker 1: I love I. You know, I'm trying to I think

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Speaker 1: they're gonna do another season. I'm not sure they Well,

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Speaker 1: hopefully I get on. I just haven't. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: working on. I have an album that I have to record. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: And you make it sound like you're doing nothing. I

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Speaker 1: know that. You just your Comedy Central half hour came

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Speaker 1: out last year. Yeah, and it was great. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: had the cat suit. I got praised and flack for it. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm a big girl and I'm a big

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Speaker 1: girl positive. But you know what it is. And this

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Speaker 1: pretty kind of puts us into the how I wanted

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Speaker 1: to his know, Dick inw thaty seventeen men have an

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Speaker 1: opinion about women, especially when they don't think you should

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Speaker 1: feel good about yourself. You know, I think it's a

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Speaker 1: way of like checking you and it's like, well, who

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Speaker 1: do you think you are to be in this cat

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Speaker 1: suit wearing this and you know, just like and unlisted

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Speaker 1: responses from men that have so much opinion about whether

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Speaker 1: they would fuck me or not. Men, it's men were

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Speaker 1: fucked Like. It's never someone you want to be with.

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Speaker 1: It's always somebody who looks like the gum on the

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Speaker 1: bottom of your shoes. If an unattractive man tells you

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Speaker 1: that he doesn't want to fuck you and you don't

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Speaker 1: want to fuck him, does he make a sound exactly?

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Speaker 1: That's good? You know what I'm saying, Like timber motherfucker

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Speaker 1: just fall down. Yeah. But it's always the ones that

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Speaker 1: just because you got Wi Fi, should you be competent?

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Speaker 1: Nobody cares, right, But that's what that's what the internet

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Speaker 1: culture is now, right, it's people who should not be

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Speaker 1: online talking about people that like are not on the

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Speaker 1: same level. As though you're in your mother's basement, you

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Speaker 1: hanging your phone out the window for connection, and you're

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Speaker 1: like you like that, get that you standing in front

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Speaker 1: of a Starbucks using that free WiFi, like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I don't like you trying to get a connection too.

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Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of people in there on a

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Speaker 1: Wi Fi ninety sixth Street. So you know that's the

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Speaker 1: new Starbucks. I don't like your wife, I don't like

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Speaker 1: your blouse. So because of because of the situation, something

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Speaker 1: like that, that's why you started to know, Dick. But

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Speaker 1: why'd you start it? Okay? So what I you know,

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Speaker 1: what I realized is I was number one. I hate

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Speaker 1: giving us history because I feel like I give it

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Speaker 1: a lot. But I mean the listeners don't know, you

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Speaker 1: unofficial expert, make it short and making short and cute.

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Speaker 1: I grew up, you know, secularly and then religiously. So

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Speaker 1: you know, once my family turned over and got into

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Speaker 1: the church, you know, we was all in. Well, but

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Speaker 1: why how did your family? What happened? Something happened and

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Speaker 1: they like we gotta pray what happened? But my grandparents

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Speaker 1: us on nightclub and a little family nightclub. Like my

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Speaker 1: aunt was behind the count and making drinks and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Your uncle was dancing on stage. So my mother was

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Speaker 1: a DJ. My mother spins, I've never heard this ever,

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Speaker 1: my mother DJ. I don't talk about a lot because

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Speaker 1: my mother's ashamed of me. My mother wanted me to

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Speaker 1: spend and it was like my mother is so upset

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Speaker 1: with my ear. She's just like she's you don't have

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Speaker 1: a good music ear, good enough ear for what I liked,

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Speaker 1: I'm down with it. My mother was her because her

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Speaker 1: name is Michelle Moo they called Mickey Mooy. She also

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Speaker 1: was on Mickey Moore. She was a radio DJ, so

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Speaker 1: like and she spent so there's the car eminem and

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Speaker 1: she had eminent productions and all that. So yeah, my mother,

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Speaker 1: she's the person that would get in the car with me,

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Speaker 1: like you know, when I was in high school and

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Speaker 1: I would draw my mother around to playing. She's like,

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Speaker 1: you don't hear the levels. You don't hear any levels.

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Speaker 1: This sound off. It don't sound off. It be like

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Speaker 1: everything with a quiz. It's like, no, I think it's

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Speaker 1: fine off here And you got the name one of

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Speaker 1: the street, like you doing you like I like this

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Speaker 1: song and the basis builthing, Like what you mean the point? Like, man,

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Speaker 1: just do whatever you want to the radio. I don't

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Speaker 1: even you know what, I don't even want to listen

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Speaker 1: to radio as well as there's my question that I

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Speaker 1: have what the hell is treble? What is the trouble control?

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Speaker 1: But you know it's like so you have the base

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Speaker 1: you have the trouble. It's like, I don't. The trouble

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Speaker 1: like makes it It almost makes it sound like you

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Speaker 1: double is. It's like I want to, I don't. It's

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Speaker 1: it's so I don't know, like like that, but I

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Speaker 1: know when I base will bring in more of the beat,

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Speaker 1: but the trouble will sort of balance something somehow, the

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Speaker 1: speakers or something. Is so, you know, I feel like

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00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,760
Speaker 1: we're gonna google this and really get off of me.

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Speaker 1: And this day that's true. Let's get so so what

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Speaker 1: so you had this bomb ass club and then I

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Speaker 1: put this handle up in my mouth and then what

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Speaker 1: happened that made them be like, we gotta go to church.

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Speaker 1: They're gonna hate me for this. I'm so sorry. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to do clean. Sorry, I'm gonna have to be clean.

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Speaker 1: I mean you're eating a candle ope, I mean that's clean.

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Speaker 1: You gotta eat. We've never eaten on the podcast ever,

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Speaker 1: So you're the first. That's not even what she was

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Speaker 1: referring to them being mad at her for telling their business.

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Speaker 1: I'm they're not gonna listen to this episode. You're fine. No, So,

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Speaker 1: my mother's side of the family was very I mean

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Speaker 1: they but then they got into night clubs, jazz and

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Speaker 1: bars and all that. And my father's mother, you know,

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Speaker 1: both my grandmothers were very involved was raising me. So

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Speaker 1: I would go. I would get handed off to my

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Speaker 1: father's mother on the weekends because she wanted to take

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Speaker 1: me to church and she wanted me to have that

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Speaker 1: sort of background being in church. So I we go

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Speaker 1: to church with all time. Wanted to be an usher.

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Speaker 1: You wanted to be an usher. You wanted to be

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Speaker 1: an usher. You had to see people take people to

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Speaker 1: their seats. I liked how they marched around. I like

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Speaker 1: they had blazers on or that we had Like it

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Speaker 1: was white on white on white white. So the only

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Speaker 1: thing we would change that would have color is your

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Speaker 1: hat and your glove. So like on first Sundays it

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Speaker 1: would be black hat, black gloves because of communion. Sunday. Okay,

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Speaker 1: second Sunday would be gold gold glove, glove jazz an

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Speaker 1: emerald emerald. Since you heard that that's not not green emerald,

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Speaker 1: that sophisticated green. It was. You wanted to be a

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Speaker 1: part of it. And I just loved how like they

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Speaker 1: would march around. I loved how to hit those corners

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Speaker 1: real sharp did you on behind their back and stomp?

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Speaker 1: Did you ever do a praise dance in the church?

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Speaker 1: I call it holy ghosts? Dude. Yeah. I remember when

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Speaker 1: we had to get they were doing tongues and my grandmother,

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Speaker 1: who eventually became a minister and went on to be

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Speaker 1: a pastor, she was adamant about us speaking in tongues. Wow, yeah, like,

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Speaker 1: and I remember I remember it's like, can you tell

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Speaker 1: us what that feels like? Well, when you faking the funk,

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Speaker 1: it feels like nothing because you know what it is like.

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Speaker 1: I remember the first like when they started, they really

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Speaker 1: wanted the young people to start speaking to tongue. So

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Speaker 1: we would sometimes we would have evening service. Even service

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Speaker 1: would be at our church and sometimes we go to

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Speaker 1: another church. And I remember when I was growing up,

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Speaker 1: I can sneak home sometimes and not have to go

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Speaker 1: to evening service because my aunt. Even though my aunt's

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Speaker 1: handicap and has my grandmother had German musles when she

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Speaker 1: was carrying her, she was able. She was was able

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Speaker 1: to function enough to drive us back home. And we

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Speaker 1: can German means. My grandmother had German measles when she

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Speaker 1: was carrying my aunts and my uncle's born with brain

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Speaker 1: damage in here an impairments. But she drove you. She

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Speaker 1: was she got to the point where she was able

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Speaker 1: to function. Yeah, she was a function. She wanted to

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Speaker 1: tell me to have my own on here as an expert,

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Speaker 1: how to really step up being handicapped because she didn't

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Speaker 1: let that. They said she would never speak, They said

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Speaker 1: she would never do it. I mean, she has obvious

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Speaker 1: limitations now, especially she's getting older. She's always been hearing

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Speaker 1: to put her speech is slurred, Jackie jackag brain damage,

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Speaker 1: there's things that don't connect. She's never been able to

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Speaker 1: live in her own Make sure you get there. She

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Speaker 1: went to community college, she got her drivers, she you

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Speaker 1: know around her. At some point, her and I were

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Speaker 1: like a little team because I had my mind. My

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Speaker 1: mind was growing as I was a kid, and you know,

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Speaker 1: she would execute whatever I need done. Let's go ahead

386
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,920
Speaker 1: and let's go here. And you know, we're sort of

387
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 1: tag team, so together together, we were like a twenty

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Speaker 1: one year old person even though six and you know,

389
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 1: so okay, so okay, we gotta I feel like we

390
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 1: gotta get to the dick. I really got to tell

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Speaker 1: you this is what happens. This is my life I

392
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 1: don't talk about a lot of things, and you just

393
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 1: you come to the Blackcast, You're like, let me release

394
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 1: I feel like things that people don't understand about me. Yeah,

395
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 1: but I feel like you're so open, Like I feel

396
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 1: like when I've watched your social media videos, like on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: You have a whole series about ninety Day Fiance, which

398
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Speaker 1: is a show that I didn't even know was a thing.

399
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Speaker 1: I didn't know about it until you had it on.

400
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Speaker 1: And you know what, And I want anybody to keep telling,

401
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 1: keep telling TLC that because I'm like, y'all need to

402
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 1: have me on. They do, because who is watching else

403
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 1: is gonna get the t like I get the te

404
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 1: You know how many people that I know that say

405
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 1: they started watching the show because of you. Yeah, it's true.

406
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: Let me on this, damn everybody. And the thing about

407
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 1: it is I get I still have to do the

408
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 1: reunion one because people are like, what happened? I got busy?

409
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 1: But what the hell is this show? So it's thirty

410
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 1: and this is again this is again all into the

411
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Speaker 1: not dick really and it ties in on the growth

412
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Speaker 1: because there's a lot of ninety Day Fiance is you

413
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 1: have people in the States. We have fallen in love

414
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 1: with people abroad. However they met them, they either went

415
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:26,680
Speaker 1: on mostly online, and you know they get into these relationships.

416
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 1: They're very quick. The people become impatient. You want to

417
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: be around the person that you love all the time,

418
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: right because it's brand new. You want them there. So

419
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Speaker 1: what happens is a lot of times these people get

420
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,479
Speaker 1: hustled because they want the person here. They have to

421
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 1: marry that person for that person to stay here. They

422
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: come here on a K one visa, which only gives

423
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: visa didn't know, we don't know what t is. Kawe

424
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 1: visa gives you ninety days to come here, be engaged

425
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 1: and get married after that ninety days if you haven't

426
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 1: got married. That persons and brilliant. Yeah, but it causes

427
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 1: women to like not investigate even men. You know, this

428
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,959
Speaker 1: is the take a show like women and men are

429
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: both making missteps. You know, it's about also being thirsty

430
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 1: and this is the thing that I know, like when

431
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: you come through the first levels high but there's also

432
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 1: like for as much as and I mean to say

433
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 1: exploit is the wrong word, but that's what it is.

434
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: That's what it is. They want to come to this

435
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 1: country and they want to be sometimes a person who

436
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,119
Speaker 1: is vulnerable. You see a lot of women who are

437
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 1: like you know this one girl, I call her March

438
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 1: of Dimes. March like I think she had a cleft

439
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 1: lip that was fixed and more. I'm gonna call the

440
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: March of Dimes. It's more of like her, herr dimes.

441
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: She's the jar next to the cash register that you

442
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 1: gotta put that change. I've heard of that. This guy

443
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: that was like really handsome, he's from Russia and a

444
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 1: handsome US and he's beating her. He like emotionally step

445
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: is whipping around. He's Russian. I don't want women to

446
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 1: do this. She couldn't go to a back she he

447
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 1: got pissed when she went to a backs red party.

448
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: He got to stop her sisters out, Like you go,

449
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,199
Speaker 1: why would you put yourself in a situation like that,

450
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,640
Speaker 1: because well you live. I figured she lives in Texas. Like, no,

451
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,880
Speaker 1: no disrespect to Texas. There's a lot of marginal bitches

452
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: all out America. And I'm keeping it real. There's marginal people.

453
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 1: Keep it real. Let me qualify when I'm listeners, wait,

454
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,199
Speaker 1: let me qualify before people get who the fuck is this

455
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is there are a lot of marginal,

456
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 1: subpar bitches that you can go anywhere and see that

457
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 1: they got men that loved that. Do you understand what

458
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: I'm saying, So there's no reason to say I can't

459
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: get I went to Tucky one time, and I'm talking

460
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: about they got farmers, cows getting married. What the cat

461
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 1: bitches with no makeup, looking like they just came up

462
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: the farm where overall's got men that loved it. So

463
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 1: like they've been like, well, I reckon, she sucks, she sucks.

464
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 1: You know when you when you look at a woman,

465
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 1: you go, oh, this bitch ain't all of that, and

466
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 1: then you go, oh, but this bitch knows she's all that,

467
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 1: which she thinks she all that. So what I think

468
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: is like a lot of times we get as women,

469
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 1: we put so much of our value in what a

470
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 1: man thinks of us. I mean, you know, Sidney, not you,

471
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: but you know you're gonna hit me hard you out

472
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 1: here like that. I was with Dick way before standing there.

473
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: But we're talking about now, you're talking about right now,

474
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,439
Speaker 1: saying right now, we're talking about right now. Sometimes I

475
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: can't really confused about what you really want damn speak

476
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 1: on this because let me let me turn up, let

477
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: me turn up your make this Kelly Rowland wig she

478
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 1: got o god, you know this age and them like

479
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: come get me like little hat you ship that like

480
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 1: you know real lesbian is like I don't think of this.

481
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: Cute it out of my face, like did you just h?

482
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: And m bitch bitch is down Sydney's not h. She's

483
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 1: at least a Zara. Okay, this is a Zara sister here,

484
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: I am a tap of shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm

485
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: a strawberry. And you may seas or whatever the fun

486
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: like I tell you it's Bloomy's, but really it's below basement. Okay,

487
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: it's iron c Yes, well, you know what, I've been

488
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: dressing up and doing all the ship for so long

489
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: that it's just so hard to get out of it.

490
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,880
Speaker 1: Even as the brokens that I am, I still find

491
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 1: a way I stay in rainbow, like I can't dressed

492
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 1: this up and be and being and I'm and you

493
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: know what, be who if you like I'm teasing because

494
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: there's obviously there's all ranges of women who like different

495
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: type of women is women that like you know, maybe

496
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: a butcher woman women at like like a more feminine woman.

497
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 1: I understand that, but at some point we are still

498
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 1: putting our value of who we are into how somebody

499
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: receives us. So, so what happened? So you were tired

500
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: of doing that? I got into and I think you

501
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 1: all know, and without making it a big thing, because

502
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: but you always stay done though. I never see you

503
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: looking crazy. Oh I look you in the park. I

504
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: be on things where people do my wigs and stuff,

505
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, all right, I'm gonna just keep

506
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: this on a mannequin so I don't fuck this up.

507
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,159
Speaker 1: Like if you saw me like my dorman. When I

508
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 1: first moved into my building, they thought I was like

509
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 1: some type of hook or something because during the day

510
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: I'd be looking like Oprah without the makeup. That's a

511
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: hard don't you talk about? Hold on the podcast, post

512
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,239
Speaker 1: the podcast and the google Oprah no makeup, and then

513
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: she's still a queen and she still nobody's saying Oprah

514
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: is a queen, not a queen. But what we're saying

515
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: that she got a hard face with that making lobrial.

516
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: Uh bring me all my life. I had to fight

517
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: all my life she's fighting. Now you got to kick

518
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: backing box of class and she runs up one hundred

519
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: and twenty fifth. I'm so tired. I did you know

520
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: I got into a situation. I was dealing with one

521
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: fuck boy after the next. Fuck boy? Where were you

522
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: meeting these people just out shows comedy? Well, we're not

523
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: going to act like we don't know what boy I'm

524
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 1: talking about the listeners don't know. You don't need to

525
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: know because he knows and respect listeners. I love y'all.

526
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: We I've gotten to a good place with him. I'm cool.

527
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 1: Like again, I'm you hilarious, and you know he's going

528
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: to be a rising star and it don't have to

529
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: be Wow, you didn't work through with your therapist? Wow,

530
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 1: you really walk through? No, no, no, it's not this.

531
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: No dick twenty seventeen put me in a different perspective,

532
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: because I'll be honest with you, that particular situation coupled

533
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: with other situations in my life. Really, it was like,

534
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: how come I get so broken every time something doesn't

535
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: work out with a dude? And then I get upset

536
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh, I haven't even made an assessment

537
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: of this dude, whether I should have been even dealing

538
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 1: with this since you knew that. No, I didn't know

539
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 1: when I You gotta remember I was friends with this person.

540
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, yes, remember you know. And that's why

541
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: I said they have to know my narrative. My narrative

542
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: is I didn't I love my Virginia in twenty seven.

543
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: I grew up religiously lost in the twenty seven twenty

544
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: get married. Wow, Evonne Orchie still has hers and her

545
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: because when you taking it into your forties like that,

546
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: you might. I think she's thirty four. I think she

547
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 1: like my god, no food. You know, I know. I

548
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: got her confused. I'm sorry because I mixed up who

549
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: you were talking. I was thinking about, what's a name

550
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: from Parks and Wreck. I was like, I can't think

551
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: of her name is like on or something about Retta

552
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: the Black But the other one, I don't know who

553
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: she's talking about. I've never seen times whatever feel good?

554
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 1: There's another one. There's another Uh, there's women in their forties.

555
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: This that's not like I was part of a virginity club.

556
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: You don't even get it. Like we was keeping like

557
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: you had rings and stuff. We would like if a

558
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: girl was in our club. Was dating somebody. Somebody had

559
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: to go on a date with her. That sounds like

560
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: trying to do that to me. And I'm so good

561
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,239
Speaker 1: at what I taking Sydney, but you had to take

562
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: my friend out. But I got to be there. Yeah,

563
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 1: and then I'll be there in the morning. I don't know.

564
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: That begins to red. That's a song. That's what I

565
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: was singing in church and at first in the Emeralds.

566
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:58,479
Speaker 1: That was in the book of Hymns. Yeah, page gets up.

567
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: So you got in a good place with this situation.

568
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: But this person. But here's the thing. You have a

569
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: connection with a guy or a girl and then it's

570
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: it finds its way into a physical thing. And what

571
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: I realized, I can't speak from a man's perspective because

572
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: I'm not a man. I don't believe little man's experience.

573
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: I mean, but that's to say that I have male

574
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: friends of mine who have been hurt by women, and

575
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: where are they? Where are they? I know a good

576
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: portion of dudes, and I have to constantly tell them,

577
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 1: I said, don't. And and what happens when a man

578
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: gets broken is he either becomes nasty to women. And

579
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 1: I said, you don't want to be the man now

580
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: because you've been heard that goes out and hurts women

581
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: to spite this woman, because these women have to sound

582
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: very is you say nerves you regular black American man.

583
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: But it's it's do you know that whole philosophy of

584
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: like her people or her people? But as a woman,

585
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: when you have sex with a man, or you become

586
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: intimate with someone and we connect on these different levels

587
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: or even city in your case with women and women

588
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: is emotion, man, it is. It's all emotions. It's all talking.

589
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 1: It's less physical, more talking. You know, a lot of

590
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 1: my emotion is there. You you misinterpret what's really going

591
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: on because it's like, oh, I like how you make

592
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 1: me feel. And I also think that this is love

593
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 1: because we are also friends. And although a friendship and

594
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: love and all that can coexist together, it doesn't mean

595
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: like if I'm make an assessment of this dude, I'm

596
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: not making a pure assessment of him because I haven't

597
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: qualified how he treats me. Right, So you have to

598
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: break down each thing. You have to break down friends,

599
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: break down this. It sounds like a word problem that

600
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to solve. Let's do it, Let's not

601
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 1: do it. But you see, I'm somebody I'm not good

602
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: with commitment. I'm like a commitment folk, right so like

603
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, but but I'm telling you right now

604
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 1: you have a commitment phobia because you don't want to

605
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: get hurt and you don't want to break down those walls.

606
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 1: You know. You know what, don't you, doctor phil Man.

607
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: I'm not going to you because the part of the

608
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: there's a you know, I'm a good medium between the

609
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: both of you because I understand you. You know, Marie

610
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: is ice so she can turn on it don refrigerator.

611
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 1: That's not the ice cube. She's the ice. You know

612
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: what she is? Ice pack in the back, but fresh water,

613
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: you know, the water ice come in and she's like,

614
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: all right, y'all, I'm here. We got to do the ice.

615
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: Honestly I am. But I also have a bubbly side

616
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 1: like Marie. I mean like Sydney, and it takes a

617
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: minute to get there. But I get there only when

618
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable, and it takes I'm the person. When I

619
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: come into a room, people get the wrong impression. You

620
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:04,959
Speaker 1: gotta take a coat off, you gotta take your hat off,

621
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 1: you gotta fix your shoes, brush your cat, hair off

622
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,239
Speaker 1: your shoulder to people and feelings and emotions. So if

623
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: I feel like it's some fun shit going on, I'm

624
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: going to be the worst bitch you've ever I'm not

625
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: gonna talk. I'm a limit what I'm saying, Oh, this

626
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: girl is a bitch. If I come in and nevite

627
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: and the spirit's right, I'm there because because because I

628
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: open myself up holy to people, I don't have time

629
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: to be opened up holy to people that just gonna

630
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: misuse and mistreat. I feel like I feel like I'm

631
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: seeing you for the first time, says wow, because I

632
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: see it because I've seen you come into spaces and

633
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: just be like, Nope, not here for none of these niggas.

634
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: And I'm like, hey girl, you're like no, and I listen.

635
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 1: When I first met you a niggas, she was like,

636
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be no mentor and sister ship.

637
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 1: We either we friends and that's it. Like, I don't

638
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: be calling me asking me about coming everybody. I said,

639
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 1: that's the but that's the first thing you said. You

640
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 1: get a tattooed on the back, you can tell me.

641
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: Don't mean about hustling. Because I gave her a hug

642
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 1: and as I came in so hot, she came in

643
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: like blazing from the soul of system and I was like,

644
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to be bothered with this. And she

645
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 1: probably had on some booty shirts and I had her.

646
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: We was probably like twenty eight inches. Yeah, I know,

647
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 1: she's like a skinny ass video ho. And she's like,

648
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: hey girl, I to comedy too. And you were like, no,

649
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't. I know you don't. I

650
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: don't know what you do, but it's not what I do.

651
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: So that happened. Uh, you were messing around with a

652
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: bunch of people that were not good for you. You're

653
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: good for you. Fortifying that's the word of the podcast.

654
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 1: Like I love to love people. I love like when

655
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: you're around me and you really get to know me.

656
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 1: There's a childlike essence that people always pick up because

657
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 1: I'm very like, sitting in your space, I can love

658
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: on you, especially when you're on an edible nigga Wow,

659
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 1: even when I'm not I can have that. But it

660
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 1: comes from trust. And what I really realized is there

661
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 1: I did not want to be broken by somebody saying

662
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: they didn't want to be in my space. And in

663
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 1: my life anymore. Well, if you don't want to be there,

664
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 1: then why are you in my face right now? That's true,

665
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 1: But from my perspective, every every time somebody would leave,

666
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: or every time a god broke my heart, or I

667
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: would take all of that on myself in a victim way,

668
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: and then I would put all of it on him,

669
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 1: and he is the villain. And the reality is but

670
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: let me tell you why. But it comes back to

671
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: why I said no, Dick twenty seventeen. Let's talking about it.

672
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: I did not want to deal with men in a

673
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: sexual way and have any penis any of that because

674
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 1: what happens is my core value of what I want

675
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: as a woman is I want you to take me

676
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: out to dinner. I want you. That's my core value

677
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 1: as a person. So but hear me out because I

678
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: want them to get because I think it's an important

679
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: message that I that I learned this year. It's like,

680
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: there's certain things. I want you to love me the

681
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: way I love you. I want you to respect me.

682
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: I want you to see my mind. I want you

683
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 1: to like go Yaive is a dope bitch, Like no

684
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 1: matter what she I respect what she's got going on.

685
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: This is the woman that I want to be with.

686
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: This is the woman that I want to show the world.

687
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: But ultimately that's what people want to be with you.

688
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: And because I was fucking guys thinking let me with them,

689
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 1: the love would come, qualifying whether they need to be

690
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: in my life or not. I'm giving them because I

691
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 1: know we all want this like slut walk and women

692
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: do whatever they want and fu whoever you want. But

693
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:53,880
Speaker 1: let's be real as women for a second. Our beauty

694
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 1: and being a woman is the value of our body.

695
00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: Our bodies are special. I don't give a five you

696
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: two pads or three thousand pounds on your fuck if

697
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 1: you're hideous to people of your most beautiful like as

698
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 1: a woman, your body and this and what we receive

699
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: from men is very important. Men ejaculate into women women.

700
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: I mean that beautiful is three three thousand pounds a

701
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: lot of pounds. He's not for no, no, no, Because

702
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 1: like it's very important to understand that women are vessels

703
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 1: that received you pick up that when a man comes

704
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: into you and he puts his he's dropping that spirit

705
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: off inside the spirit. But we're picking up energy and

706
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: vibration that you may not need to pick up from

707
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: this dude, because has this dude, And this is not

708
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 1: about because some guy's like, Oh, women are just trying

709
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 1: to be golden, You're just trying to give it together. No, no, no,

710
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to see what value you place on

711
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: my life and is it worthy of the love and

712
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 1: the value that I'm about to give to you. Because

713
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 1: more you coming to me and my body and fuck

714
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,359
Speaker 1: up my spirit and don't have your ship together, Let's

715
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: qualify whether we need to even be in the same space.

716
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 1: But are you my mate? Are you the guy that's

717
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: gonna hold me down? Are you the guy? That's what

718
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: I'm so, that's what she's saying, that's what I'm hearing. No,

719
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: it's about love. First of all, love me, but I

720
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 1: would love me because men will fuck you. A man

721
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: will fuck you all day long, and women go a

722
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 1: lot because there's a lot of it. May not be y'all,

723
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: but there's a lot of women out here going, oh

724
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: but he he sucked me, He to me, and I

725
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: hear I don't even know, Yo, she got so crazy?

726
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: Why she gets so crazy? I was just fucking her, motherfucker.

727
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: Did you tell her you was just sucking her? Were

728
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: you giving Were you saying things to her that was

729
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: giving her encouragement and things? But all this was seeing

730
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: situations whereas the dude has been upfront like, hey man,

731
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to do nothing, but women is like, oh,

732
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 1: but I feel like we can get to that, and

733
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 1: can I speak on that? Can I speak on that?

734
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 1: Because again it's a out taking responsibility on both sides.

735
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,800
Speaker 1: This is not me saying men are fucked up and

736
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: a woman take responsibility for what you want, what you

737
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,439
Speaker 1: want to deal with, what you want out of your life.

738
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: It's about knowing yourself and knowing how you want this

739
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: to go. And if you're looking at this man and

740
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: you already got your list together, what the fuck you

741
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: want when you see this nigga is not the ship

742
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 1: you want, don't fuck him. And if you cause it,

743
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:32,800
Speaker 1: don't happen fast to you. And let me tell you

744
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: what a guy gogo. You know what I'm saying, Like,

745
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 1: you know, I ain't really trying to give no relationship

746
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: right now? You don't try to do my thing? Even

747
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: that to a woman is like it's a challenge. I could.

748
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 1: It's me. I'm different. Every woman sometimes they different, And

749
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna love it. That's why you see women like

750
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 1: giving loving niggas beyond what they get. You go, why

751
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: the fuck you supporting this nigga, Loving this nigga so much? Oh,

752
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: but he's misunderstand and he one day I'm gonna get

753
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 1: him a man right away if he wants to be

754
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: with you and beat your man and married. That's why

755
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 1: women go. I fucked around with this dude for years.

756
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 1: I gave him everything, and in the next chick he

757
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 1: get with that Marri that he know for four seconds

758
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: he done married her. Because guess what you done? Did

759
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 1: everything that you don't spend sponsoring this nigga, but that

760
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: he can get his ship together to go be the

761
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: man of another woman's dream with a man you get

762
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 1: in your fucking vagina that's coming and ejaculating in commus

763
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 1: nigga that's supposed to be using. I'm not here for

764
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: a cream pie. I know I'm using condoms, but with

765
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:45,360
Speaker 1: Listener and all of that stuff, I was kidding. Nigga's

766
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,879
Speaker 1: nutting in you and just releasing that ship and going,

767
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm not ready to do it. I might need to

768
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 1: do eighteen No, I'm telling, but you know what when

769
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 1: I stopped fucking dudes, and dudes knew I was not fucking.

770
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 1: I got this type. I got several types of dudes.

771
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 1: First dude I got was a yo, let me let

772
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: me be around for twenty eighteen oh two. As soon

773
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 1: as twenty eighteen was creeping around, my dms went through

774
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,920
Speaker 1: the roof because every nigga thought they was gonna be

775
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: the first nigga to fuck me in twenty eighteen. No,

776
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:13,879
Speaker 1: thank you, you think I went on through a whole

777
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: year a no dick to go fuck with some raggedy niggas.

778
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: It's not my future. Absolutely not raggedy. Answer your question

779
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 1: that you asked me before. Have I fucked yet? Absolutely

780
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 1: not the guy that I'm I didn't do twenty and seventeen.

781
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: No dick to go and then fuck with a fuck

782
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:33,359
Speaker 1: boy before. And but that if I want to fuck

783
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 1: a guy and it's just on fuck shit, that I

784
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,800
Speaker 1: gotta treat that dude the same way a dude treats

785
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 1: a girl if he's just trying to fuck. No, nigga,

786
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 1: we not going out. No, you only come over. Don't

787
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 1: call me on the phone. We're just fucking Don't call

788
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 1: me on the phone. Man, No man, that I want

789
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 1: to be my husband that's gonna come in and go.

790
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: I want to let you know that I'm worthy of you, Yaminika,

791
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna go, I want you to know

792
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 1: that I'm worthy of you. Whoever he is, that's the

793
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,359
Speaker 1: guy that I'm gonna treat with care. That's my only

794
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 1: issue with you is like I want somebody to love

795
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: the way I love it. That's impossible. Nobody's gonna love

796
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: Like what do you mean? I said loveday Early earlier,

797
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: he was like, I want somebody who's gonna love me

798
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: the way I love, like the way I give it.

799
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: You know, listen, I y'all know, I cook, I clean

800
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 1: when people come over. You got them cats. But it's

801
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 1: a full like what do you want? What do you need?

802
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 1: Everybody having a good time? I give it and care.

803
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: I may not get a husband that is like that,

804
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,879
Speaker 1: attentive like that, but there's gotta be something in him

805
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: that he shows his love and the way and I go.

806
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: I can deal with that. You know, my grandfather's not

807
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: a big talker, right, He wasn't a big huge talker.

808
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 1: The way he showed love was giving us money, making

809
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: sure we had a roof off our head. Sure that

810
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: he's as women. You know, my grandfa is always like

811
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 1: as a woman, understand being a gonna fuck around, be

812
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 1: the woman, be a strong woman. My grandfather raised it

813
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: to be like that. My grandmother's way of showing love

814
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: was here, everybody get you get a pot pie, like

815
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: she make a pot pie for everybody. This is what

816
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:15,719
Speaker 1: I'm saying, everybody. You're giving everybody when you come home.

817
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 1: It's like everybody got a pot pie for them. It's

818
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:22,280
Speaker 1: not like giving away random She give you all Bible tracks.

819
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 1: Now that that wasn't special. You know, we used to

820
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: about Bible tracks on Saturdays. But that's a whole other story.

821
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: Call me in for a Christian expert. Now, I feel

822
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,800
Speaker 1: like you are one the overall message, and I know

823
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,800
Speaker 1: I'm getting passionate. I'm sure the people like passionate because

824
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,359
Speaker 1: this is important to you. And you had no dick

825
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 1: for a whole year. You built up, girl, built up.

826
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: You gotta because my mind. Let me tell you something.

827
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: The only reason why I'm able to sit in the

828
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: same room with the guy that I cried over for

829
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:58,720
Speaker 1: months everason I thought about him, shed tears, is because

830
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 1: I go he's not my dude. Anyway, when I fuck

831
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: him again, I don't know. Probably I love fucking him. Damn.

832
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: Wow was no, No, it wasn't. What I'm saying is

833
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,920
Speaker 1: I'm using that as an example of like, how far

834
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: you're not liking fucking him. I liked fucking him, but

835
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 1: what I was mixing up was that I loved him

836
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: and I didn't because he's not the man for me.

837
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: We don't. He's a cool friend, but he ain't the

838
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 1: man for me. He got he's not even a man

839
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 1: for himself yet. He trying to be the man for him.

840
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, like for real. And the the

841
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: other thing I learned going through twenty seventeen is I

842
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 1: wasn't the woman that I needed to be for man.

843
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: I won't like you learn that. I did learn that

844
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 1: I was really you know what you And it's so

845
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 1: funny because periodically you'll step out of yourself and you

846
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: know what, really, girlfriend, I'll wake up in the middle

847
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 1: of night and be like, oh my god, that time

848
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: that he said that thing, and then I just like

849
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 1: I was a really I was. I was not good.

850
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 1: I was a really bad girl. I think you've changed.

851
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: If you see somebody, if you start dating somebody, now, no,

852
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna do I'm gonna do I'm gonna do

853
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,319
Speaker 1: other bad stuff, but I'm not gonna do that stuff right.

854
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 1: I'm more I'm more marine now than I was when

855
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm was people. But we also have to remember that

856
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: people are only gonna do what no people are gonna

857
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 1: like you're only people are only gonna do what you

858
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 1: let them do to you. That's it. So in that situation,

859
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 1: I mean, eventually he's trying to open you up three

860
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 1: years and you're like, dude, I don't say I love

861
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: you like that. It was. It was so different because

862
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: this dude that I was with, he was real emotional,

863
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: he was like he was in touch with who he

864
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: was like. He just wanted to talk about everything. And

865
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I'm not doing that, I say

866
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 1: to you, because I can't say it was absolutely certainly

867
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: because life is so. But I guarantee you that you

868
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 1: will come across a man that you will want to

869
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 1: say I love you too, And I'm sure that and

870
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,320
Speaker 1: I think that too. I think that too, But I

871
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 1: just mean that, like where we were in our lives,

872
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 1: this guy was ten years older than me. He was

873
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 1: more he was on a different level than I was,

874
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: mentally right. And also I'm a taker and he was

875
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 1: a giver. You keep giving me, I'm just gonna keep

876
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 1: taking it. It's true he was giving and getting at

877
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: his home. He gave his time. He gave all the

878
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 1: food that I ate for three years. Like he was

879
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: just giving and I was just taking. I was like,

880
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: this is great. And in his book he probably has

881
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 1: this whole story about Marie. But being the person on

882
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 1: the outside, no, no, you never know when you blow up, bitch.

883
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: You were like, you gotta write a show. Yeah, oh shit,

884
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:50,839
Speaker 1: I want to watch the ship. Now blow up, bitch.

885
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: You gotta go out there to La and blow up,

886
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 1: because I'm telling you, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be

887
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 1: on my Instagram commentating on that ship. Did you do

888
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 1: this to him? Take it from I'm watching on the

889
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 1: watch on the outside. And as a as a giver,

890
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:14,320
Speaker 1: you just put on your lips still look dry. And

891
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: some who says chapter as a as a giver, I'm

892
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: seeing that like if you give, people are gonna take.

893
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna say no thank you, especially if they're in

894
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 1: a place where they need well, some people will people

895
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: some people will say no, thank you, but a lot

896
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: of times more often than not, if you're just giving

897
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 1: your time, your love, your energy, people will just take

898
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: that right. Like we all know people that you see

899
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: them and they're complaining and they unload all of their

900
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 1: problems on you, but they don't ask how you're doing.

901
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 1: But that's an example of them taking it from you.

902
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 1: The most dangerous person is in that scenario the person

903
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 1: that gives, because over time, that person that gives builds

904
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 1: up resentment and builds up a callous and the person

905
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:57,800
Speaker 1: that's taking, they just go off to l a for

906
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: two months and leave you. Wow, Yeah, it's true. I'm like,

907
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: you just gonna leave and forget about the time for

908
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 1: the podcast. I feel like we've been here for several hours.

909
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 1: I was like, you're just gonna leave a podcast, you know,

910
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 1: a stranded like this. You see you see me pre

911
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: recording with you, recording for the month. This is like

912
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: we got ten weeks ten weeks episode. I know. But

913
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 1: I'm saying me as a giver, and now I'm in

914
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 1: a situation in a relationship where somebody else gives way

915
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: more than me, and I'm like, oh, I'm on the

916
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:34,840
Speaker 1: other end now, And I feel like unless you have

917
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:39,280
Speaker 1: a soul and a conscience, you won't feel bad about

918
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:42,399
Speaker 1: the taking that you can't give back now, not until

919
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,800
Speaker 1: like two years after ya breakup, when you home in

920
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 1: your pre war apartment. Like Tim, I was a crappy person. No,

921
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 1: I mean some people never realize that they were crappy people.

922
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:56,879
Speaker 1: People don't. I mean. I have my father's mother, Lily Maisondos,

923
00:48:56,880 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 1: who's Lily May. She was one of the sweetest women,

924
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: and both my grandmothers taught me a lot about generosity,

925
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 1: which is important to teach to The one thing Lily

926
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: made would always when she would she would be so sweet.

927
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: When she would get upset, she would be like now

928
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 1: you know, and it would be like the cutest little thing.

929
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: You look at her and go you upset, Like we

930
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: were like huge. It was so cute because it was

931
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: a part of her that could not help, but like

932
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 1: not want to make you angry with her anger. And

933
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 1: I always thought, I said, when she was laid to rest,

934
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 1: I said, my grandmother gave a lot, and I don't

935
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: know how many people really gave back to a lot

936
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:39,399
Speaker 1: of people used her a lot of time. I felt

937
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: about and that's why I want. You know, people can

938
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 1: get whatever they want. My own personal experience with no

939
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 1: Dick twenty seventeen was what it was. It was a journey.

940
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: I want a journey. But I got on the other

941
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: side and some women joined me and said, you know,

942
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 1: I wanted to try that. It wasn't just about focusing

943
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,359
Speaker 1: on not having Dick. It was like, let's that ain't

944
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 1: even a focus at all. Now, I take myself to

945
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 1: a museum and have a good time by myself. I

946
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:10,959
Speaker 1: would take myself to dinner, took dates, movies, I dated myself. See,

947
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: but that's I mean, I'm not at the point in

948
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 1: my life where I can you can take myself to

949
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: I walk all the times as I'm poor. I walked

950
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:21,959
Speaker 1: to the bus, I walked to the train, I walked

951
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:27,359
Speaker 1: in your journal. I have a movie journal. I would

952
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: take babs. Can't Oh, I love that. I do think

953
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 1: myself a nice dinner at home. Listen, y'all act like

954
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 1: I'm rolling in the dough. I'm I got I got

955
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,840
Speaker 1: a penny pinch too. So it's like, yeah, but what

956
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,959
Speaker 1: you what you buyd like, if you're making yourself dinner,

957
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:46,240
Speaker 1: what you make it for yourself. You make it tender

958
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: loin or something. You make it. She making a whole Thanksgiving,

959
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 1: She's making like a rack of rip make it Thanksgiving.

960
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 1: I have, you know, Like now, I'm eating clean so

961
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 1: it's like a lot of protein and and clean. What

962
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 1: does clean me? I'm eating a lot of chicken, a

963
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 1: lot of big chicken. Okay, nothing fried, nothing fried, no

964
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: batter on it. Every now and then I'll have a

965
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 1: cheeseburger with no flavorless like the lettuce wrap you that's

966
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: the lettuce bun. I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah,

967
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 1: I mean, I thought you were doing well, but you

968
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,840
Speaker 1: don't need that. But you really don't. I love bread,

969
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 1: door bread so light since I stopped eating bread and

970
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 1: all that. Now, let me pick you up like you

971
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 1: really feel I said, I feel like I say, Okay,

972
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna float up in the clouds. Damn my god.

973
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do my best. So what was the worst

974
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:48,560
Speaker 1: part about No Dick twenty seventeen. Let's get tell me

975
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 1: about the urges? The worst part, the thing that you were.

976
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:59,040
Speaker 1: The worst part was saying to myself, am I okay

977
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 1: with being alone forever? And am I okay? Real ask

978
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,720
Speaker 1: question because I'm getting older and maybe it won't happen.

979
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 1: But I had to. I face that question every day

980
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:14,959
Speaker 1: of the No Dig twenty seventeen and I still face

981
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,280
Speaker 1: it to this day. And I just said to myself,

982
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: it was like last week, I was like, I don't know.

983
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 1: Maybe I won't get married, maybe I won't have kids.

984
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: I would love to be married, I would love to

985
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,400
Speaker 1: have children, but maybe it won't happen. And I'm and

986
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:31,479
Speaker 1: when I talked to my mother, my mother goes, there's

987
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 1: a difference in you, like of the dependency. It's to

988
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,440
Speaker 1: be very co dependent on my family, and they financially

989
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 1: supported me for many many years. They I was the

990
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 1: only child my mother had. It was baby that grew

991
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 1: up only child that I have half sisters. So it's

992
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: since my grandmother's passing it's been a disconnect of like

993
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,360
Speaker 1: disconnecting from all the things that were holding me up

994
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: because one day they may not be there. Y. Yeah,

995
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: that is such a real feeling, too real, because you know,

996
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: like like if you're lucky enough to grow with your

997
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: mother and father or your family, your aunts, whoever, and

998
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 1: you call them every day, like I speak to my

999
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: mother every day. If I don't. She thinks I'm dead

1000
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 1: right recently because I don't see my mother as often anymore.

1001
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 1: So when I see her, I'm like, oh, like I

1002
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: can see my mom is getting older? Now does that

1003
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 1: make sense? Like I see it in her, and I'm like,

1004
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,800
Speaker 1: one day, my mom is not gonna be here. So

1005
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:28,840
Speaker 1: when I be on the phone with her and I

1006
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 1: want to yell at her or say something smart, I

1007
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 1: have to like, I'm gonna suck it in because these

1008
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,800
Speaker 1: moments are not gonna be here forever. And the disconnect

1009
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 1: that you were saying, I'm on the other end. I'm

1010
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 1: not cool with my family like that. And the people

1011
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 1: who were very close to me, who raised me, they're

1012
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 1: all passed away. So I feel like I don't have

1013
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 1: something to hold on. So my emotions are not as

1014
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 1: strong as they were before. Like I feel like I

1015
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 1: could do whatever because I don't have all these people

1016
00:53:56,480 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 1: looking over and to disappoint them. You know you this,

1017
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: and I know like I get busy, but I always

1018
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 1: told you you could call me anytime, and yes, you

1019
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:10,759
Speaker 1: can't call me before nine, no, because that's a real

1020
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 1: like I understand, like with you know, it's just it's

1021
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:16,800
Speaker 1: just my grandfather and he's in hospice right now, so

1022
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: we don't know how long he's got. And my aunt

1023
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 1: who's already has all these handicaps, so she no telling

1024
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:23,360
Speaker 1: how long she has And if people die in the

1025
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: natural order they told to die, how it is now

1026
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:28,840
Speaker 1: something gonna happen, I could get who knows, but you know,

1027
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: everybody lives in life to the fullest that they can live.

1028
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 1: And you may be alone and and the reality is,

1029
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 1: I'll tell you about one of the weakest moments I

1030
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 1: had in two thousand and tell me when my grandmother

1031
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,800
Speaker 1: passed and I couldn't process it because I was just

1032
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 1: finishing up, you know, the show I was doing and

1033
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 1: we had to tape that day. And I remember being

1034
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:52,040
Speaker 1: on a set. Oh yes, you wrote about it, yeah,

1035
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 1: And it was like really crazy. And uh Safari Nikki

1036
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 1: Minaja's ex boyfriend. Just so people know, I don't want

1037
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: to label him like that because he does his own love,

1038
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:03,880
Speaker 1: but that's where we know him from. That's how he

1039
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 1: ended up on the show. And he was doing a

1040
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 1: schedule with us and he said something about he overheard

1041
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 1: me talking to somebody about my grandma. He said, I

1042
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:11,759
Speaker 1: felt sadness on you, and he was telling me that

1043
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 1: he experienced two losses within the Yeah. I saw his

1044
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 1: show and it was like and he was like, Yo,

1045
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 1: it's all gonna be good. And I was like, he

1046
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: experienced to lose two people that were very close to

1047
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 1: him the same week. Yes, And then I had that.

1048
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:31,320
Speaker 1: I said, you know, let me put it to the

1049
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,800
Speaker 1: side for a minute. So I never really processed it.

1050
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 1: I didn't want to see my grandmother. I couldn't see

1051
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: her laid out, even though I had been with her

1052
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 1: in the hospital. When she my mother said she looked better,

1053
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,880
Speaker 1: and you know what I'm saying then, but I just

1054
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:46,919
Speaker 1: couldn't do it. I had to. They had to close

1055
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: the cask. I came and hugged the cab. I couldn't

1056
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,439
Speaker 1: see her. But I had a moment where I don't

1057
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:54,840
Speaker 1: because my grandmother died October the thirteenth, and we had

1058
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,960
Speaker 1: her funeral about a week and a half later, and

1059
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 1: a guy from my past reconnected. Of course, they were like,

1060
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 1: she's weak, let's do it, let's do it. And I

1061
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: took him home and I took him home and he

1062
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 1: got in my bed, no, with his shoes on. With

1063
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 1: Forbes in Brooklyn, with the two cats. Well, the cats

1064
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 1: love him. They knew he had treats. He had treats

1065
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:21,239
Speaker 1: in town. But he got in my bed and I

1066
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 1: realized we did not have sex. Oh, okay, you're trying

1067
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:26,759
Speaker 1: to tell this at the top, y'all fooled around, don't lie.

1068
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:29,800
Speaker 1: I didn't say we didn't fool around, but I was

1069
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:36,399
Speaker 1: adamant about not having sex. I'll see. I'll just say

1070
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,839
Speaker 1: whatever happened happened, but it was not sex. We did

1071
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 1: not have any intercourse. But I remember it's over podcast.

1072
00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: This is a lot living a lot you did, and

1073
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 1: it was difficult. That's why I said that I was

1074
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 1: glad I didn't have that many cameras like that. But

1075
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:59,400
Speaker 1: it's impossible almost sometimes. But I realized that all I

1076
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: was trying to press all of my emotion and my

1077
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 1: pain in being physical with him as much as I

1078
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 1: could be, and he he I was seeing that, Oh,

1079
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 1: he's just the same person he's always been. He's not

1080
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 1: available emotionally or so. I don't even think mentally to

1081
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 1: tell you the prof to be in a situation. So

1082
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what done? And I blocked

1083
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: him from my life. Goodness, did you block him on

1084
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 1: social media, him on social media everything because at the

1085
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 1: end of the day, again no dick or no vagina

1086
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:35,440
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, or so questioning yourself. To be

1087
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 1: alone with your thoughts, to be alone with yourself as

1088
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 1: a person, to really identify what you need is very

1089
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 1: important to being accessible, to be the person that somebody

1090
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 1: else can join in. Oh, my goodness, you need a

1091
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 1: whole class. I had to clear my space. I had

1092
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 1: to clear my I had to clear the distraction of

1093
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 1: fucking is great, having sex is amazing. I love sucking dick.

1094
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: I love At the end of the podcast, You're gonna

1095
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,240
Speaker 1: wait until the fifty eight minute of the podcast say

1096
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 1: that I'm a scorpio, and that explains it. I don't

1097
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 1: know when I'm with the guy, it's like everything the

1098
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 1: ear is available. Oh that means you be looking as

1099
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 1: I have had my ass lit, but you've never ate ass.

1100
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,439
Speaker 1: The thing about it is, I ain't trying to put

1101
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 1: my sney or the only one doing it or the

1102
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 1: only one doing it an admitting it to say I haven't.

1103
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 1: I haven't. Maybe I'll meet a guy one day where

1104
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 1: I will to look his ass. I also get around

1105
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 1: like guys like don't do nothing around my ass. You

1106
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 1: know what, they're not open enough. They need to have

1107
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 1: some molly in their life, some roofie. But I didn't

1108
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 1: want to distract, like how much fun I was having,

1109
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 1: and and we misconstrued like having sex is like this,

1110
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 1: I'm showing you how much I can't It's like, no,

1111
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 1: you're just you're trying to come and just it is.

1112
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 1: But if you're trying to find love, or you're trying

1113
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 1: to find a better understanding of love, it begins with

1114
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 1: you loving and knowing yourself because you don't know you hell,

1115
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 1: could you get somebody to love you and give you

1116
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:24,480
Speaker 1: what you need? If you don't even know? Do you

1117
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 1: know what you need? If you don't know what you need? Well,

1118
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 1: how do you want it? How do you feel? Because

1119
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:34,160
Speaker 1: a great poet? Then what a great poet once said?

1120
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 1: I think it was Legston Hughes. Yes he did. Well, y'all,

1121
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 1: gonni go, Where can people who are listening catch more

1122
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 1: of you? Know? People need? Well? You know I have.

1123
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 1: I had a stalker last night, so I had to

1124
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:49,200
Speaker 1: take my schedule down again. Oh you and marine stalkers?

1125
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 1: Who is the stalker that somebody like followed you? From

1126
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,920
Speaker 1: one show to another show. It's no somebody from like

1127
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 1: a weird it's a weird whole weird thing. Yeah, this

1128
00:59:57,040 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 1: guy like where's he wears like your skin? My gods

1129
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 1: are a big dead He like where he's. He's white

1130
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: and people don't so he has this. He has a

1131
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 1: T shirt of you of your face, and he got

1132
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 1: like mink coats and like the rings. But white dudes

1133
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:19,200
Speaker 1: are when they marry, when they lock in, they they

1134
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 1: locked down. When they lock in, they lock Yeah. And

1135
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 1: I ain't trying to human centipede you know about, but

1136
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 1: I'll tell you this. You're in front of the State.

1137
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 1: You can catch me on my podcast Ran and Raven

1138
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 1: with how Many Good Friends. You can catch me on

1139
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 1: Laugh Mob Laugh Tracks on True TV. They are still

1140
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 1: running my episodes a lot and you can stream. You

1141
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 1: can stream it, yes absolutely, if you want to go

1142
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 1: back and check out my half hour on Comedy Central. Yeah,

1143
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:44,640
Speaker 1: it's there as well. I have a show coming out.

1144
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 1: It's supposed to come out in April, so you know,

1145
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 1: I can't talk about that, but I frequent Stand Up

1146
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 1: New York. They always have their schedules up so you

1147
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 1: can check Stand Up New York's website and when I'm

1148
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,960
Speaker 1: going to be there, the stand they're always putting up

1149
01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 1: when I'm there New York Comedy Club and oh my god,

1150
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: so lazy. Yes, and you're always on social media. Yeah,

1151
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 1: everything at that's y A M A N E I

1152
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,920
Speaker 1: K A. And I love to respond. So if you

1153
01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 1: just follow me and you comment, I can't. I know.

1154
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 1: I've been seeing people are like, this is not why

1155
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 1: I followed you. It'd be like an every white woman

1156
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 1: be like, well baby, I'm sorry, but what else would

1157
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 1: you like to see? I'd be screaming. Even if you

1158
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 1: don't see me say anything, I'd be lurking like it.

1159
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:29,600
Speaker 1: I like it. I like it. I like your response,

1160
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:31,480
Speaker 1: and I won't even like the post. I just let

1161
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 1: me see what the people say. You really have good

1162
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 1: engagement with your followers. Posted a side by side photo

1163
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 1: of two black dudes David al Yellow and then the

1164
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: Luge on the podcast right, but two black dudes with

1165
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:48,120
Speaker 1: their white wives at the Black Panther premiere, and I

1166
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:53,000
Speaker 1: just put Happy Black his three months. It was a

1167
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 1: hot topic for the amount of times people want to

1168
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:57,920
Speaker 1: act like they don't want to talk about something like

1169
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 1: that and I'm glad I put that up for two reasons,

1170
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 1: One because hello, and two I had a lot of

1171
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 1: people that were very hurt, like I'm a product of

1172
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 1: it in a racial relationship or I'm in and I'm like,

1173
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 1: this has nothing to do with you. This is about

1174
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:18,840
Speaker 1: a bigger narrative of there are black men who will

1175
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 1: say things that are disparaging to black women on why

1176
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 1: and why they're with white women. And anytime there's a

1177
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 1: negative going out on why you're doing something, let me

1178
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 1: tell you something right now, that's not love. This love

1179
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 1: is love shit, it's bullshit. Not every dude, every black

1180
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:37,000
Speaker 1: dude that's dating a woman who's not black, is in love.

1181
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 1: Because I'm gonna be honest with my white girlfriends just too.

1182
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:43,919
Speaker 1: If you heard how these niggas was talking about y'all,

1183
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 1: y'all would be because it's not. It's no love there

1184
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 1: for them. Sometimes it's like, well, I want a bitch

1185
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 1: and I can run over is what you think? Running

1186
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:57,800
Speaker 1: track or pamsy bitches just here them. Have some esteem

1187
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 1: in yourself, like it sounds team of it so cute

1188
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:05,920
Speaker 1: because sometimes you know to be because some white women's

1189
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 1: narrative is like, well, black woman just jealous of it,

1190
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 1: and it's like girls want him. We don't even want

1191
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:17,160
Speaker 1: that dude. And sometimes, let's be really real, some of

1192
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:20,160
Speaker 1: you white girls, the white dudes don't want y'all. So

1193
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:23,280
Speaker 1: let's be really real about whether it's jealousy or not.

1194
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 1: As much as it is. He can fuck you and

1195
01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,200
Speaker 1: love you all he wants, don't you. He don't have

1196
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:32,840
Speaker 1: to disrespect me in order to in order to love you.

1197
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:34,760
Speaker 1: And I would tell that to a white guy. That's

1198
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:36,600
Speaker 1: why I don't funk around with Some white dudes are like,

1199
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 1: oh that chocolate and blah blah blah. I'm like, no, no, no,

1200
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:41,640
Speaker 1: no no. If you ain't trying to love and fuck

1201
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:44,200
Speaker 1: y'all Monika for who she is, get the fuck out

1202
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 1: of here. That don't be turning me on because hashtag

1203
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:50,520
Speaker 1: me too. We was getting it when when motherfuckers was

1204
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 1: really not worried about time being up, when mother is

1205
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 1: saying nothing and they was coming in there taking us

1206
01:03:56,880 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 1: at that point here here. Not only issue with those

1207
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 1: two guys save that I see my only Christian if

1208
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:07,880
Speaker 1: you do this at fifty eight minutes, you did this,

1209
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 1: You did this, Nica. The only issue I have with

1210
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 1: those two guys is that if you if they really

1211
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,400
Speaker 1: love their wives, they wouldn't have brought those top shop

1212
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:21,360
Speaker 1: sik's that she dressing like. They could have got their home,

1213
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:23,840
Speaker 1: their whole family to make them the right type of

1214
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:28,280
Speaker 1: out in the right pla, the rightik. But bitch in

1215
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:32,000
Speaker 1: the did it right? Yeah, get it right? You got

1216
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 1: the same ship she had on I got for Halloween.

1217
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:39,840
Speaker 1: I know you do camrazon type of level I did.

1218
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 1: I want to know you a bitch of zero to

1219
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 1: twenty six can wear that ship has changed, it got stretched,

1220
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 1: You got a lot of less like I got like

1221
01:04:53,680 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 1: talking about you, h and m wait, no you slave

1222
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 1: looking nig shirt. I wear a monkey nigga shirt every

1223
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 1: day and shout out to the white women that be

1224
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 1: holding me down because I also need you all to

1225
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:10,720
Speaker 1: march for my ship. Yea, when y'all go to these women, march,

1226
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 1: march my album around it because I'm nowhere without white

1227
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 1: women holding me up. You know how white women get down.

1228
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:20,080
Speaker 1: They love you to Yeah, nigga, we gotta go. We'll

1229
01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:25,320
Speaker 1: have you on another episode, so damn good. I hear

1230
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 1: we're gonna go get some munchkins or something. And Sidney's

1231
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 1: gonna give me a dollar as always. You can listen

1232
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:35,280
Speaker 1: to bonus episodes on Patreon. My website is up and

1233
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: thriving Marie Foston dot com. I put my show dates

1234
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 1: up there and I was like, don't nobody crazy come

1235
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:43,600
Speaker 1: to any of these shows. But it's out there. I

1236
01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:45,400
Speaker 1: needed the you know, it to look full. So it

1237
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:47,080
Speaker 1: looks super full. And if you're gonna be in l

1238
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:49,240
Speaker 1: A at all between now and April, police company me.

1239
01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:53,480
Speaker 1: We will party and I have my one woman show

1240
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 1: March eighteenth, if you're available to come at the Duplex,

1241
01:05:56,920 --> 01:05:59,480
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be good. And I asked Sydney, I said,

1242
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 1: next time you do what, I want to direct it. Yeah,

1243
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:04,080
Speaker 1: but you're too busy. Tell me what the fun on you?

1244
01:06:04,280 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 1: I know you. You just said all your dates and

1245
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 1: everything you have to do. You have a lot going on. Yeah,

1246
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:11,680
Speaker 1: I need somebody who are dedicated. Yeah, you dedicate my time, bitch.

1247
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 1: Fuck around. I will be directing the next What Women

1248
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:20,440
Speaker 1: Bottle Girl, and we're gonna change the title. That's the

1249
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 1: first thing that's getting directed. I see, that's boom. That's

1250
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:24,960
Speaker 1: why you can't do it. You know what, Sydney was

1251
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 1: a hell of a bottle girl school that play okay,

1252
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:31,760
Speaker 1: all right, Thanks guys, Bye,