Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh we're now on the record, now on the record. Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: it's a just Kristen today. Jk get a Jake, it's
Speaker 1: just us, no kit Kat. We have some good memories together,
Speaker 1: you and I we've really done it good, like duo
Speaker 1: moments together in the past. I got real emotional this morning,
Speaker 1: so I know you wrote quite an emotional and I
Speaker 1: was like, well, first I thought you were canceling. I
Speaker 1: know it was my first thing. Actually was going to
Speaker 1: change it, and I kind of wanted you guys to
Speaker 1: think it so that you would go in like a
Speaker 1: too use thematic pregnant person. Well no, I just wanted
Speaker 1: you to like really read because I was like, everyone's
Speaker 1: going to see a paragraph and dip out. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, no, this is her. I saw the
Speaker 1: Preston seven match. I was like, oh, she's canceling. No,
Speaker 1: her own baby shower. Here we go. No, I'm having
Speaker 1: a little shower. And I just am emotional because it's
Speaker 1: my last baby. How do we know for sure though,
Speaker 1: because I'm a hundred Well no, I mean our friend
Speaker 1: Nancy had a baby until forty she was forty five. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just so we're super clear. Yeah, I just got
Speaker 1: emotional this morning. I was like, it just means a lot.
Speaker 1: I mean I got I just was thinking of all
Speaker 1: the things you and I have done, chapters, husbands, babies,
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we're going on almost a decade. Kramer, right, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a lot, I know. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'll never forget the moment that you were sitting on
Speaker 1: my bus bed and you told me that you were
Speaker 1: pregnant with love and it was just and You're like,
Speaker 1: funny thing, funny story.
Speaker 3: Me too, me too.
Speaker 1: And that's kind of where it started. I mean, we
Speaker 1: really did it, and we continue to do it supportive
Speaker 1: and good. It's I get the the lasts of things,
Speaker 1: Like I remember when I was putting away Jase's I
Speaker 1: was taking apart his crib and building his like first
Speaker 1: little toddler crib bed, and I remember just crying, going,
Speaker 1: this is the last crib I'm going to have, and
Speaker 1: just kind of like having that like cry fast and
Speaker 1: then I'm you know, with us moving to the new house,
Speaker 1: the designer was like, hey, do you want a big
Speaker 1: boy bed for Jace oh, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: he does have a big boy bed. She's like, well,
Speaker 1: that's like a I mean that's like what like a
Speaker 1: really small like a twin thing. Yeah. And she's like,
Speaker 1: I mean Jolie has a I think she might have
Speaker 1: either a full or queen. Yeah. And I was just like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about right now. It's a
Speaker 1: lot like I cried when we took apart the crib
Speaker 1: every time, did you keep the crib?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, yeah, there's just I remember like going, okay,
Speaker 1: I need to sell these things, like the clothes, and
Speaker 1: like I everyone knows that I enjoy getting dressed for myself,
Speaker 1: so the fact that I mean, imagine when I have
Speaker 1: these two little clients that I get to get dressed.
Speaker 1: So we have so many like rubber maids of just
Speaker 1: like honestly at least fourteen rubber maids of like clothes
Speaker 1: in our attic and the crib, and I could never
Speaker 1: get rid of either, and I just every single time
Speaker 1: I just would look at Preston. I was like, it's
Speaker 1: too much, and I would just close the attic door.
Speaker 1: Because I think I always knew that you always knew
Speaker 1: you'd have another one. Well, I always wanted another one,
Speaker 1: but Preston's a middle kid, and so he was the
Speaker 1: reason we did not at first have another one. And
Speaker 1: then he came to me and said, I feel like
Speaker 1: we make really cool people, you do, And I was like, well, respectfully,
Speaker 1: I raise cool people. Well you're on a tour bus.
Speaker 1: But I'll take the indirect compliment. That's fine, and you're
Speaker 1: not wrong. So we tried for two years and nothing,
Speaker 1: So I don't try for two years, I mean like
Speaker 1: actively trying each month, like I'm ovulating. Yeah, wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I can't take you that along with legend love. No,
Speaker 1: I'm spoiled in that way. I always am hesitant to
Speaker 1: even share that because I'm surrounded by so many and
Speaker 1: I work with so many moms that have struggles getting
Speaker 1: pregnant and if they can get pregnant, keeping the baby.
Speaker 1: But we've never that's never been an issue. So two
Speaker 1: years and I kind of just thought it was just
Speaker 1: not gonna happen for us. Yeah, and then here we are,
Speaker 1: but you're you can now close the attic door once.
Speaker 1: This is it. As I climbed your stairs like it
Speaker 1: was Mount Everest today and needed an oxygen tank. Right
Speaker 1: around the third or fourth stair, I was like, Yep,
Speaker 1: this will do it, this will be it. I'm just
Speaker 1: really thankful. It's interesting. Sorry, I'm just alive on my
Speaker 1: mom that you talked about the clothes, because I thought so.
Speaker 1: When I was first pregnant with Jolie, Catherine was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see what you dress like high
Speaker 1: you're to dress your little girl. And at first I
Speaker 1: would put like the cutest things together, and then within
Speaker 1: like a few months, I was like, oh, screw this,
Speaker 1: Like it's a lot of work. It is a lot
Speaker 1: of work. And then it's really expensive too. Like I
Speaker 1: remember I bought Jolie a pair of I think they
Speaker 1: were Oh they were like Jannati Zuppie or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: really about like zepis is I love us some brand?
Speaker 1: Like we made this joke on stage out wind down
Speaker 1: about not knowing brand, like not being able to say it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So those are expensive, expensive, And that's the only pair
Speaker 1: I've ever bought that was expensive because I'm like m
Speaker 1: M because they all grow them. What I did do, though,
Speaker 1: is there was a Onesie. There was a Onesie and
Speaker 1: a PJ that I kept of Jolie's that it was like, yeah, Cramer,
Speaker 1: I know. I mean like I kept like her lovey
Speaker 1: and like you know, stuff like that, but no clothes. Wise,
Speaker 1: that's all I kept. I have two rubber maids of
Speaker 1: stuff that no other baby will touch, that will get
Speaker 1: passed down to love and legends kids. Yeah. No, I
Speaker 1: want it to be nothing. That's the thing. I mean.
Speaker 1: I remember I got some stuff passed down for my
Speaker 1: mom and then like even like Mike's parents were like, hey,
Speaker 1: here's like a cute little PJS at that mic war
Speaker 1: so like we put that on Jas and that was
Speaker 1: really cute. So like, I've kept like literally one or
Speaker 1: two things. I don't know why. For me, I'm just
Speaker 1: kind of like, I like, I wish I could do that.
Speaker 1: But then I'm also like, well why would I keep
Speaker 1: the extra because I'm just like I don't like stuff,
Speaker 1: so I don't either. Interesting fun fact. Fun fact. But
Speaker 1: I think I always knew someone else was coming, or
Speaker 1: I prayed. I always felt it. I always wanted three
Speaker 1: or four, and I tried to reconcile my brain that
Speaker 1: the one we lost was the third m but I
Speaker 1: just couldn't. So I don't know if I was just
Speaker 1: waiting to the age where it was like medically impossible
Speaker 1: for me to have another baby, and then I could
Speaker 1: sell it all or what the deal was. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I've kept all the CL's the cloth in the crib.
Speaker 1: That's it. And I'm really super lucky because we have
Speaker 1: two friends in our friend groups that have had their
Speaker 1: third babies two June's ago and then last June, and
Speaker 1: so by this June, I'm getting all the good hand
Speaker 1: me downs. Oh that's great, yes, and don't have to
Speaker 1: buy a bunch of I don't like gadgets. Stresses me out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like all the gadgets, like here's your sanitizer bottle. Well,
Speaker 1: I went through your lists and it was very minimal, minimal.
Speaker 1: I was like, she either has kept all of them
Speaker 1: m m or or I'm on the organ trail Oregon trail.
Speaker 1: Then covered a wagon did this and I can't we
Speaker 1: Sarah Bryce and I were trying to figure out. We're like,
Speaker 1: what do you think she really wants from this list?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't really think she Like, she
Speaker 1: doesn't need no any of Like I didn't even want
Speaker 1: to make a registry, but you do need it though.
Speaker 1: That's the thing I got the shape like as you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it's like I'm just happy that,
Speaker 1: like you did do that because my friends are going
Speaker 1: to buy big bows and like if it's a girl,
Speaker 1: it will be I'll be inundated with like bow's as
Speaker 1: big as a tad. And I was like, I can't
Speaker 1: do that, so I got to keep it real streamline.
Speaker 1: I personally think the most offensive gifts are from the
Speaker 1: in laws or the parents. I don't or they were
Speaker 1: they like Jolie still can't fit into certain clothes. That's
Speaker 1: like they've been she's she was given me three years ago,
Speaker 1: like twelve. I was like, it's big. It's big on
Speaker 1: her mom. Yet it's like I can wear my mom.
Speaker 1: I remember with Love. So we did find out Love's gender.
Speaker 1: We did not find out Legends gender, and we're not
Speaker 1: finding out this one's gender. Say I would want to
Speaker 1: do that in the third it's so fun. It was
Speaker 1: so fun with Legend that I was because Amazon Prime
Speaker 1: and Target makes it so easy now to collect things.
Speaker 1: Its fast, like I could have a whole room done
Speaker 1: by the time I leave the hospital, you know. But
Speaker 1: my mom was like, so I got Love her take
Speaker 1: home outfit, like the outfit she was going to wear
Speaker 1: them from the hospital and moms of that, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, doesn't that seem intimate or personal like
Speaker 1: something the mom or Okay, just checking because I remember
Speaker 1: being like, oh, okay she was again, so this is
Speaker 1: what she'll wear on the way made sure she like
Speaker 1: said it three times did Yeah, yeah, that's nice for you.
Speaker 1: Second baby was more boundaries than the third baby. I'm
Speaker 1: not what no visitors told July I need to. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna need you to hold a leg.
Speaker 1: We're in deep now, Grammar. I mean, this is your baby.
Speaker 1: I've come me to the hospital and duh, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm just so glad we're out of the I can't
Speaker 1: imagine the COVID era of pregnancies because all those moms
Speaker 1: deserve a refund. Really, I mean truly having the labor
Speaker 1: with mass On, Oh can't. I have so many words
Speaker 1: for that. But yeah, and then the people not being
Speaker 1: able to be there, So that part I actually wished
Speaker 1: was a rule for me. You know, I love a boundary.
Speaker 1: I want everybody there. Okay, this is our personalities. Are
Speaker 1: you a Jana?
Speaker 2: Are you a like?
Speaker 1: I like I when I had Jolie, it was in laws,
Speaker 1: my parents, Catherine, where were you my, I don't know,
Speaker 1: you're always I have both FaceTime pictures of me and
Speaker 1: Labor Yeah, with you and I So I think you
Speaker 1: were LA with love La. Well you had love yeah,
Speaker 1: but Jace, so but you were in LA yeah, so
Speaker 1: you couldn't be in my right church yeah, but no
Speaker 1: for my like yeah, I'm like, I'm more the merrier.
Speaker 1: And then when I had Jace in Los Angeles, like
Speaker 1: we had his parents fly in, so I love and
Speaker 1: like Sarah Gretzky came to the hospital like I'm I'm like,
Speaker 1: do you have music going? Will you labor?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Here was my with my Well, y'all can listen to Jace's.
Speaker 1: And that's the most like embarrassing labor podcast episode I've
Speaker 1: ever done, because it's me going like I got that pass.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just threw up. Like it's like
Speaker 1: it's I'm like, why we're in the right vie do this?
Speaker 1: And why did we we podcasted our delivery like literally
Speaker 1: Mike pressed for cord and it was and we didn't
Speaker 1: edit any of that down. No, Okay, those are the
Speaker 1: things on this episode of sea of regret for my
Speaker 1: sea section of Jason, but like I am the worst,
Speaker 1: like because I have to have sea sections, and so
Speaker 1: they had to knock me out both pregnancies. They had
Speaker 1: to or they were just like, let's do ourselves as solid. Well,
Speaker 1: I started freaking out because I can't feel my legs.
Speaker 1: I mean, like I was like, I can't feel my legs.
Speaker 1: I should have been my a doula for you. I
Speaker 1: feel like I could have really helped you. Well that's
Speaker 1: I mean, I just think that's the most traumatizing. Like
Speaker 1: I don't like to not be able to feel my
Speaker 1: legs but feels. And so when I then woke up
Speaker 1: and you know, they're like seasong my belly, you know,
Speaker 1: baby comes out. I'm still like high on xanax or
Speaker 1: whatever they gave me. So they placed the baby or
Speaker 1: whatever dead dio is a pan or whatever, and then
Speaker 1: they laid the baby on my chest. And then in
Speaker 1: that moment is kind of when I start to come to.
Speaker 1: And then that's when I'm like, oh, gave you give
Speaker 1: me the more I said, They're like, we can't give
Speaker 1: you any more about I said, I was like, no,
Speaker 1: it is the weekend at Bernie's legs. That will start
Speaker 1: to make a girl Panmic I'll say, I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I understand. Sorry, I don't mean to figure out as
Speaker 1: you're like, no, I feel really good. I like calm, quiet,
Speaker 1: no people very sacred like it is. I don't want
Speaker 1: anyone in the room while I'm doing I mean, you
Speaker 1: can't with the see section. Besides, you're like person. I
Speaker 1: want to share this little brief story because a lot
Speaker 1: of moms have been messaging me about just my opinions
Speaker 1: on boundaries and my openness about my parents. It's been
Speaker 1: really sweet, actually, but this is a brief story. So
Speaker 1: I made this post the other day about like we
Speaker 1: have shut down visitors for six weeks at our house
Speaker 1: because you know, none of our family lives here, so
Speaker 1: when they come to visit, they have to like move
Speaker 1: in for days. And that's a lot for me. And
Speaker 1: and that's I'm just not that person. And I've tried
Speaker 1: really hard to be that person. I feel like it's
Speaker 1: not christ Like to not be that person. So I've
Speaker 1: really gotten like holy and in the depths, and I
Speaker 1: still can't do it. So now I just know that's
Speaker 1: just who I am, and that's Okay, thank you Amy
Speaker 1: Alexander at the refuge center. Really I'm not going to
Speaker 1: try to sing it because only one of us does that,
Speaker 1: so not very well. So I made this post and
Speaker 1: I was like, we're not accepting visitors. This is the
Speaker 1: sacred time. Like it's just like I have waited for
Speaker 1: the deep breath of like that was our last visitor,
Speaker 1: that was my last sheet set to wash, and now
Speaker 1: we just get to be together in this sacred space.
Speaker 1: And then I've really pushed it out to like not
Speaker 1: even the grandparents until July, which I'm sure I'm going
Speaker 1: to get a lot of hate. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: we're due beginning of June. But my world is me
Speaker 1: with these kids and sometimes a Dada when he's off
Speaker 1: the road. So like it's a little more disruptive and
Speaker 1: less helpful when I have guests in the house. So
Speaker 1: I remember I had requested that the two days I
Speaker 1: was in the hospital with Love that we have no
Speaker 1: family at the hospital. That Creston and I had just
Speaker 1: met each other like five minutes before that, so we
Speaker 1: were still trying to get to know each other and
Speaker 1: our baby, and I had the weekend to Bernie's legs
Speaker 1: and a bedpan. I was peeing in a bedpan. Reston said,
Speaker 1: my mom and my brother are outside the door. His
Speaker 1: mom lived six hours away. And I just had a
Speaker 1: big smile and I go why and he's like, well,
Speaker 1: they drove down, and I said, with a horrible idea,
Speaker 1: and they were in the room when we moved up
Speaker 1: to the room you settle into outside of the delivery room.
Speaker 1: And then the next morning, eight am, his brother and
Speaker 1: his mom were in my hospital room. Now first baby,
Speaker 1: you're like learning how to breastfeed, Like, I don't want
Speaker 1: my boobs out with my mother in law. She's a
Speaker 1: Church of Christ preacher woman.
Speaker 2: Like.
Speaker 1: I just was like, what is happening? And his brother
Speaker 1: says all right, Mom, we'll see you after work and
Speaker 1: starts to head for the door, and I go when
Speaker 1: is after work? Six pm?
Speaker 3: Hmmm?
Speaker 1: And I had to call a meeting. I was like okay.
Speaker 1: I looked at the nurse and I was like, can
Speaker 1: you clear the room? And she was like uh huh,
Speaker 1: like she must do like you know, like I needed
Speaker 1: a check or something. So mom and everybody had to
Speaker 1: step outside. And I just looked at my husband and
Speaker 1: was like, I can't I don't want to be half
Speaker 1: naked in front of your mom all day I'm learning
Speaker 1: how to Oh, that was something that should have been
Speaker 1: discussed beforehand. Like that was very unfair to put you
Speaker 1: in that situation because then you look like the bad
Speaker 1: person too. Yeah, to be like, well, Kristen doesn't want you,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like that's not fair. I
Speaker 1: just felt like the room lost all oxygen and it
Speaker 1: got really really tiny. And she's a great, wonderful woman,
Speaker 1: like she's she's microscopic, and no matter how it's your times,
Speaker 1: I couldn't need now six weeks, no, no visitors mm hmmm,
Speaker 1: uh huh? Is pressing going to be home that entire time? No,
Speaker 1: he's hardly ever home really, he's on a ten day
Speaker 1: run right now. But why would she want no? I mean,
Speaker 1: like my I have my friends here, right I just
Speaker 1: don't need family in the house. Can they not? Can
Speaker 1: they come and just stay at like in a hotel?
Speaker 1: They could, but we'd pay for that, Oh you would?
Speaker 1: Uh huh yeah, okay, trust hmm. The third times a
Speaker 1: charm Cramer. I'm proud of you for just putting your
Speaker 1: foot down on the last one. How long is p
Speaker 1: get to stay home for who no days? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: well that doesn't seem We've got a four day window
Speaker 1: between mid May and mid June that he'll be in
Speaker 1: town while I go into labor. So he had to
Speaker 1: fly in the day. Legend was born from Ontario Friday
Speaker 1: night in August, canceled a show and was out the
Speaker 1: next day. Well, so we'll just see you got your
Speaker 1: tribe here. I'm glad you're here. Grammar, that is all
Speaker 1: I have to say. Oh I love it. Hold my
Speaker 1: baby hair. Speaking of babies, let's see if Derek Huff
Speaker 1: has any babies on his mind. Let's take a break,
Speaker 1: get him on the show.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, what's up. How you doing? Well?
Speaker 1: You know, we were talking babies, and you know, I
Speaker 1: just love to stir the pot because last time I'm like,
Speaker 1: when are you getting engaged?
Speaker 2: And then it was like and now when do you
Speaker 2: have a baby?
Speaker 1: Oh no, It's like that's like the next the next topic.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, speaking up.
Speaker 2: I'm ready, really, I'm ready to get on it. Let's
Speaker 2: do this.
Speaker 1: He's like, we babies, Anna is in the practice, or
Speaker 1: Anna is in the family growing?
Speaker 2: Oh all of the above.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, oh I like that, how many kids do
Speaker 1: you want?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, I think we'll start with one and.
Speaker 3: That's how but I will say I will say vow.
Speaker 3: I went to Valaja's baby like five days after she
Speaker 3: had had a home and and val was so cool man,
Speaker 3: he was just like, you know, hey, bro, like you know,
Speaker 3: like we're like these overachievers and we're like, you know
Speaker 3: all this, but like there's nothing like this, and I
Speaker 3: just my only regrets.
Speaker 2: I wish I would have done this sooner.
Speaker 3: And he was just he just said some really beautiful
Speaker 3: things and it just it just really got me even
Speaker 3: more excited about starting a family.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, what do you.
Speaker 1: Think is you're like it's just from a guy's perspective
Speaker 1: something that you like, you're you're scared about fatherhood.
Speaker 2: Like scared about Yeah, oh interesting. I don't know. I
Speaker 2: think I don't know if I'm really scared. Honestly, I
Speaker 2: don't think I'm really nervous.
Speaker 3: Like I'm pretty like pretty like ready pretty excited. Let
Speaker 3: me rephrase that, let me phrase that. Actually I just
Speaker 3: reality just said it.
Speaker 2: I okay.
Speaker 3: So as an uncle of a Bazilian nieces and nephew,
Speaker 3: I am a bit I'm chasing them around, worried about
Speaker 3: every corner and every danger, and my sisters was like, dude,
Speaker 3: if they're gonna fall, they're gonna fall.
Speaker 2: They get like what what I was like, They got
Speaker 2: to be protected. So it's, uh, I'm nervous about that.
Speaker 3: But I think that that's just because I'm not around
Speaker 3: it enough to understand that there is fragility. But there
Speaker 3: was also the learning curve of a child having to
Speaker 3: just experience life, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I think it's really important. Yeah, So I think I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna be a nervous wreck for the first at least.
Speaker 3: However long, I'm sure I'm gonna be just like, you know,
Speaker 3: freaking out about every you know, danger, I suppose.
Speaker 1: But I'm still a helicopter. I'm a psych I'm a psychopath.
Speaker 1: I'm my oldest is seven and we have another baby
Speaker 1: do in June, and I'm a psychopath. I'm forever like
Speaker 1: here's your helmets and here's your pads, yep, And I'm
Speaker 1: kind of like the other where I'm like, I at
Speaker 1: first would like take, you know, put the little padding
Speaker 1: around the corners of the island, and then afterwards I'm
Speaker 1: like listen. That's you're going to hit your head if
Speaker 1: you don't. You know, you hate to be aware of
Speaker 1: now what your surroundings are. So I take them off.
Speaker 1: And it's like at times even their day, Jase went
Speaker 1: to put his head unerneath table, so I put my
Speaker 1: hand right above where it's so like he doesn't hit.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it's like he's got a
Speaker 1: note that like yeah, yeah, yeah. He had just gotten
Speaker 1: back from his surgery and he was like all out
Speaker 1: of like, you know, poor guy. And so he gets
Speaker 1: up and he hits his he hits the front of
Speaker 1: his head on the thing, and then goes to the
Speaker 1: counter and hits I'm like, oh my god, like and
Speaker 1: so it was just like the head of all things.
Speaker 1: It was like a pinball of like going from like
Speaker 1: and it's like then I just wrapped him up in
Speaker 1: like a little cocoon. But they need, like you know,
Speaker 1: they they will learn too, like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: I think I think part of it too, is just
Speaker 3: because I was such an accident from kid. You know,
Speaker 3: I was always getting hurt and you know, jumping off
Speaker 3: things and knocking my teeth out and uh, you know,
Speaker 3: just all all sorts of problems. So I think I
Speaker 3: just knowing my child, I'm sure we'll have that type
Speaker 3: of energy, and so I just have to sort of
Speaker 3: look out for a lookout for her because I feel
Speaker 3: like you'll be a girl.
Speaker 1: Oh I like that. That's cute. You have nothing to announce.
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, you just seem so intue.
Speaker 1: I mean, he did this last time to us too.
Speaker 1: It's okay, but I think that's cool. I think it's
Speaker 1: it's fine. He's what he has to announce. This is tour,
Speaker 1: that's the that's the that's you're a busy guy. You're yeah,
Speaker 1: and you're going to be judging and then doing your show. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: So you should be scared of not seeing your baby.
Speaker 1: That should be what you're afraid of.
Speaker 2: Well, that will be. That's That's why I'm packing it
Speaker 2: all in now smart. I mean, we're getting it. We're
Speaker 2: getting it all in now. We're traveling, we're doing all
Speaker 2: these things.
Speaker 3: But uh yeah, So it's gonna be really really busy fall,
Speaker 3: but super super exciting. You know, Season thirty two of
Speaker 3: Dancing the Stars is happening, and you know, and at
Speaker 3: the same time and be going on tour to fifty
Speaker 3: six city Uh, so it's gonna be crazy.
Speaker 2: I haven't been on Scorn four years, so I'm so excited.
Speaker 3: To finally go out there, get on the bus, go
Speaker 3: in to people's cities, see their see their faces, see
Speaker 3: them person, give them hugs, the whole thing.
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's it's Uh. We have a live band,
Speaker 2: we have the most incredible dancers.
Speaker 3: We're actually having a whole a big audition this Friday
Speaker 3: actually with all these hundreds of dances coming in and uh, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm putting a lot of a lot of heart and
Speaker 3: soul and love into this show. And and of course
Speaker 3: my fiance Haley, she's gonna be on the road with me.
Speaker 1: And I saw her on the on the fire and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I love that, Like I love
Speaker 1: that you guys are doing this together because it's I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's going to be some really romantic dances in
Speaker 1: there too, and just like I don't know, I just
Speaker 1: I love I love a husband, wife duo.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna beautiful, I mean.
Speaker 3: And the reason why I'm calling it Symphony of Dance
Speaker 3: is you know, for me, it's well, for a symphony
Speaker 3: is basically a collaboration, right, It's where every people come
Speaker 3: together and it's like everybody's great at their individual gifts,
Speaker 3: their individual instruments or their talents, whatever it might be
Speaker 3: in life or music or dance, whatever it is. When
Speaker 3: we come together, we really do create this beautiful symphony.
Speaker 3: And that's what the show really represents, is it's such
Speaker 3: an eclectic you know, different genres of music and styles
Speaker 3: of dance and and you know, and just just people.
Speaker 3: And that's what it's all about. This is about building
Speaker 3: this beautiful symphony of dance. So I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 1: I didn't click on the dates. Are you coming to
Speaker 1: us Nashville, Nashville.
Speaker 3: Yeah, grand Ole Opry, We'll be there. We'll be there
Speaker 3: grand Ole Opry. It's a great venue. I love performing there.
Speaker 2: So it's a nationale always nash will always show up.
Speaker 2: They always bring great energy. So I'm excited. I was
Speaker 2: just in Nashville.
Speaker 1: Things were saying, hey, that was really fun. That was
Speaker 1: a fun hang we have No.
Speaker 2: It was great. Well, listen to my sister.
Speaker 3: She's a real estate agent out there, and every time
Speaker 3: I go there, she's showing me how that She's like, hey,
Speaker 3: this this is available, Like you will want to come
Speaker 3: out here, and because my mom lives there now, my
Speaker 3: other sister lives there now, So it's a we're slowly
Speaker 3: all migrating to Nashville.
Speaker 1: Are you LA based?
Speaker 2: I am, Yeah, I live in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, most of LA has moved here, so we welcome you.
Speaker 1: Our entire neighborhood is pretty much LA. So it's wild, man,
Speaker 1: it's nuts, but it's a great place, like when you
Speaker 1: are ready to like settle down, have the family, Like
Speaker 1: this is such a good family town, as you know,
Speaker 1: so it would be a good place to set up shop.
Speaker 1: But I'm curious, you know, you you put so much
Speaker 1: of your real life into your dances. You know, I
Speaker 1: remember just you know, over the years watching Dancing with
Speaker 1: the Stars and then also some of the dances that
Speaker 1: you've done with your sister and you know, childhood and upbringing.
Speaker 1: Is there a dance or a story in your life
Speaker 1: that you haven't been able to put into dance yet
Speaker 1: because it's painful or hard, or or a dance that
Speaker 1: you want to want to do.
Speaker 2: That's a great question, you know. I think.
Speaker 3: What's so great about what's so great about dance or
Speaker 3: a performance, right is that you can create a performance
Speaker 3: or create a piece that is very meaningful to you,
Speaker 3: to me, to to to the person is creating it.
Speaker 3: But we don't necessarily have to share that it's about us,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, or share that it's it's
Speaker 3: it's our story perhaps because and so to answer your question, yes,
Speaker 3: there are certain things that even if I didn't want
Speaker 3: to necessarily share, you know what I mean, with with everybody,
Speaker 3: if I wanted to keep it personal. But but without
Speaker 3: a doubt, have the freedom and the luxury of really
Speaker 3: creating pieces that can be very cathartic and and beautiful
Speaker 3: about past experiences or traumas or pains or aches. And
Speaker 3: that's what's so beautiful about art, you know, is that
Speaker 3: they are they are a part of who you are
Speaker 3: and you're But what's so healing and so beautiful about
Speaker 3: it is that when you share those types of things
Speaker 3: too with other people, you realize you're, like, this is
Speaker 3: my story, but it's also so many other people's stories.
Speaker 3: You know, so many other people experience you know, you know,
Speaker 3: heartbreak or or or loss, you know, and uh or
Speaker 3: or just other other elements. I mean, you know, we
Speaker 3: actually did a piece a couple of years ago, you
Speaker 3: know about my parents'.
Speaker 2: Divorce, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And it was you know, on television, and it's it
Speaker 3: was one of those things where I felt a little
Speaker 3: bit like do we do we do this?
Speaker 2: Do we talk? We like share this in this way?
Speaker 2: You know, and and.
Speaker 3: But it was it was a beautiful piece. I think
Speaker 3: that a lot of people sort of responded to that
Speaker 3: and felt that way, felt good towards it. But so yeah,
Speaker 3: so so to answer your actual question, because I kind
Speaker 3: of danced around a little bit, no pun and send it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, there's definitely some things that I would love
Speaker 3: to create that I feel like could be incredibly cathartic
Speaker 3: for you know, past experiences, I should say.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I love when people put their past
Speaker 1: like and explain it because it is so helpful and
Speaker 1: I feel like it adds that like additional healing and
Speaker 1: help for other people, Like I think obviously movement is
Speaker 1: so healing. And then to be able to like when
Speaker 1: you guys talked about the divorce, I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that is like how I felt in movement, And like
Speaker 1: there's just the emotions that you guys bring in dance too,
Speaker 1: and like it's just all of it is so I mean,
Speaker 1: that's even when I had my brain there's stint on
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars. It was like working through certain
Speaker 1: things and I'm like, wow, this was so cathartic, Like
Speaker 1: this felt so good.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So there was a video I did a couple
Speaker 2: of years ago. I wrote a song. It was called
Speaker 2: hold On, and it was basically about about suicide.
Speaker 3: And you know, I wrote this video because I had experienced,
Speaker 3: you know, something close to be you know, suicide when
Speaker 3: I was fifteen.
Speaker 2: Years old and.
Speaker 3: Other people around me, and even having that those own
Speaker 3: thoughts myself, you know, at a certain point, you know,
Speaker 3: years ago, and I wrote this song and I created
Speaker 3: this video, and so that was an experience where people
Speaker 3: didn't necessarily necessarily know that about me personally, but it
Speaker 3: was certainly was a way for me to sort of.
Speaker 2: Share that in a in an artistic way. And that
Speaker 2: video was you know, really really powerful.
Speaker 3: And then I ended up working with this young dancer
Speaker 3: who I've known for a while, and he told me
Speaker 3: his story about how his father, you know, died by suicide,
Speaker 3: and we created this beautiful dance piece, this beautiful piece,
Speaker 3: and he shared his story and it was so powerful
Speaker 3: and you know, it's just just recently, obviously I've experienced
Speaker 3: two more people close to me unfortunately that by suicide,
Speaker 3: and it was just is something that, yeah, I go
Speaker 3: back to that, that song or that video or that
Speaker 3: it's that time when I created that as sort of
Speaker 3: a moment to feel I don't know, like wanting to
Speaker 3: reach out more, you know what I mean, and wanting
Speaker 3: to sort of do more in that space because it's
Speaker 3: just there's nothing more. There's nothing more painful than feeling
Speaker 3: like you could have done something where you feel like
Speaker 3: you want to do more for people. And that's that's
Speaker 3: really truly, honestly my overall mission really, you know, when
Speaker 3: people when I do do dance or perform or do
Speaker 3: silly tiktoks or silly post or whatever, it is the
Speaker 3: underlying sort of intention of almost everything I do is
Speaker 3: really to be to serve.
Speaker 2: It really is to serve people and.
Speaker 3: To make somebody laugh, bring a little bit of joy,
Speaker 3: or to implement something you know, inspiring or something that
Speaker 3: can possibly move somebody and so possibly stir somebody in
Speaker 3: a different direction if they seem to be going.
Speaker 2: Down a different paths. And and that's even what I
Speaker 2: love about tour as well.
Speaker 3: Is like those meet and greets and those Q and a's,
Speaker 3: you know, I go above and beyond, above and beyond
Speaker 3: you know what is actually on the paper of.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, I get a picture or do this for me?
Speaker 2: That is a true moment for me to like connect
Speaker 2: actually connect with somebody there.
Speaker 3: And the amount of questions I get a people's asking
Speaker 3: things and I really try to show up for people
Speaker 3: in those moments.
Speaker 2: But sorry, I kind of went up on the TANGI no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: There's no tangents here. Well, I think the thing is
Speaker 1: too is like you're saying, is that you never know
Speaker 1: what someone's going through. I mean, I'm you know, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: I think one of the people you're referring to is twitch.
Speaker 1: And I remember when I looked at my phone, I
Speaker 1: was like what, Like I would have never in a
Speaker 1: million I mean I literally screamed out what And it
Speaker 1: was like because I'm like, how like the happiest, joyful, dancing, loving,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like wow, Like that just so shows
Speaker 1: that like you just have no idea and it's like
Speaker 1: to really like dig deep and like have those meaningful
Speaker 1: conversations whether it'll help in the end or not least
Speaker 1: like to to like go that extra layer.
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, it just it just makes you just
Speaker 3: at least when I when I heard that, my first
Speaker 3: feeling was, you know, who can I.
Speaker 2: Who can I call right now that needs me? You
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Who? Who? Who have I not
Speaker 2: spoken to in a while? Who can I just reach
Speaker 2: out to right now just to think, you know, because it's.
Speaker 3: You know, I kind of feel like when I found
Speaker 3: that out, I think it was just about a week
Speaker 3: or two before that, I had this overwhelming feeling like
Speaker 3: I needed to share something in this space, you know,
Speaker 3: in that space of because it was during the winter
Speaker 3: and that's like a big time for you know, mental
Speaker 3: health and people are like going through a lot of
Speaker 3: a lot of pain. And I was literally like had
Speaker 3: this feeling like I need to like say something, I
Speaker 3: need to post something, I need to like just share
Speaker 3: something and just reach out. And and I can't remember
Speaker 3: what it was, but I remember something happening and be
Speaker 3: like and I just didn't do it, you know. I
Speaker 3: was like I was like, oh, yeah, I'm doing this
Speaker 3: Disney special and I just like I need to just
Speaker 3: I need to focus on that. I just didn't do
Speaker 3: that and then two weeks later that happened, and so
Speaker 3: of course knowing that it's not your fault, but in
Speaker 3: that moment, you do have that sense of.
Speaker 2: Like what if I would have just you know, could
Speaker 2: I have?
Speaker 3: And and I know everybody goes through that, and of
Speaker 3: course there's you know, it's it's nobody's fault, you know,
Speaker 3: and those in those situations, but it does sort of
Speaker 3: inspire you a little bit more to reach out, you know,
Speaker 3: and to reach out to people you haven't spoken to,
Speaker 3: and also to just squash things too, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, Like when people are saying, oh, I have this,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not talking to so and so because
Speaker 3: of this or that or whatever it is.
Speaker 2: It's like, guys, like, you know, we are on this
Speaker 2: planet for the shortest amount of time. We really are.
Speaker 3: This is such a fleeting moment and every single day
Speaker 3: it truly is. Without getting too you know, you know,
Speaker 3: preachy here, but it's such a gift. It really is
Speaker 3: such a gift. I mean, like when you feel the
Speaker 3: you're heart beating, you know, nobody get you know, you
Speaker 3: didn't have to buy that, you didn't.
Speaker 2: Have to earn it. It was a gift.
Speaker 3: It was given to us, you know, and so we
Speaker 3: are just so gifted with this life and it's and
Speaker 3: I just want, I really just want everybody to feel
Speaker 3: that way. And I know it's not the case because
Speaker 3: I've been in that dark place. I've been in a
Speaker 3: really really tough place, and honestly, dance some music really
Speaker 3: got me. And also, you know, doing work and going
Speaker 3: to listening to things and reading things and all that
Speaker 3: stuff really helped me.
Speaker 2: And people say that, dude, you're the most positive, most energetic.
Speaker 2: I was like, I think it's because I'm the most
Speaker 2: messed up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Like I had to do a lot of work early
Speaker 3: on to figure it all out, and I'm still still
Speaker 3: We're still on the process, and it's still a beautiful
Speaker 3: journey just discovering yourself. But on the way, the real
Speaker 3: secret to living is giving, you know, and how we
Speaker 3: give ourselves to other people, and how we serve and
Speaker 3: how we show up for them, how we reach out
Speaker 3: and and and for me, dancing and performing is a
Speaker 3: way I do that, on top of you know, hopefully
Speaker 3: reaching out personally as well.
Speaker 1: So I love that. I just think it's really inspiring
Speaker 1: when people have a platform and use it to connect
Speaker 1: with people, like using all avenues like listen, I'm married
Speaker 1: to a singer songwriter. I'm best friends with the singer songwriter.
Speaker 1: I can't do that, and I'm certainly not a dancer.
Speaker 1: But when I watch people use like their unique avenues
Speaker 1: and those outlets that they have to just actually pour
Speaker 1: back into people, that's like the I mean, that's literally
Speaker 1: what we're that's what you do on earth for Heaven's sake,
Speaker 1: you know, like we're here to connect, to not feel alone,
Speaker 1: to give each other another minute, to hug each other,
Speaker 1: like we do the wind Down Tour, and it's so
Speaker 1: fun because we get to like actually hug and cry
Speaker 1: and like be with people and go heartbeat to heartbeat
Speaker 1: and that matters so much. I'm just really thankful to
Speaker 1: use your platform for that. Yeah, And I love the
Speaker 1: fact too that you know that you say it's you know,
Speaker 1: our our hearts are like our life is a gift, right,
Speaker 1: and so it's like that's why I'm on this movement,
Speaker 1: Like can't just everyone be happy and let's all help
Speaker 1: each other and just love. And I'm like, there's no like,
Speaker 1: I don't want hate in my heart for anybody. I
Speaker 1: want to just like just love be well, like cause
Speaker 1: it's like it can any moment, this can change and
Speaker 1: we you know, go home. Yeah, but yeah, you guys
Speaker 1: as a Dancing with the Stars family, like even you
Speaker 1: and Jana, I mean you, this has been a tough
Speaker 1: week for y'all too.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I mean I just knew him from a lovely judge
Speaker 1: who I wanted to impress him more than anybody on
Speaker 1: that panel, Like I loved all the other judges, but
Speaker 1: like looking like I went back down a few things,
Speaker 1: and I like when when Len gave me a compliment,
Speaker 1: it made my life. And as an observer, he just
Speaker 1: had such a light about him. I can't imagine in
Speaker 1: person what that feels like. I'm very sorry for your
Speaker 1: loss because I know that you have had spent years
Speaker 1: with them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I had the pleasure of knowing Land since I was
Speaker 3: twelve years old, you know, when I lived in London,
Speaker 3: and I remember him here just was always just he
Speaker 3: had the gift of the gap.
Speaker 2: He just always had the great just energy and so
Speaker 2: funny and playful.
Speaker 3: And then and then having the opportunity to work with
Speaker 3: him on Dance with the Stars, and and then you
Speaker 3: said it, you know where we all seek his approval,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, even if you weren't even
Speaker 3: on the show, you know, I was just like, did
Speaker 3: you like that? You know, you just always you just
Speaker 3: he just had that like you just had that respect
Speaker 3: for him, and that he had that presence and he
Speaker 3: had that just that British gentleman about him. And its
Speaker 3: just I feel incredibly emotional and sad about it, and
Speaker 3: then at the same time, I feel so grateful that
Speaker 3: the last season that we shared together, we.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know, there was like this feeling
Speaker 2: like this, you know, I knew.
Speaker 3: This was gonna be his last season, but I also
Speaker 3: was I had every moment I spent with him, I
Speaker 3: really I really savored it. I really savored the moments
Speaker 3: I spent with him, and really and we we were
Speaker 3: playful with each other, and we had these one on
Speaker 3: one conversations and he and that even before the day
Speaker 3: the last day, I walked in my j's dressing room,
Speaker 3: there's this giant picture of land. It was framed beautiful
Speaker 3: gold frame, and it's a picture of him and and
Speaker 3: I had this handwritten message from him, and it was
Speaker 3: so beautiful, but also like inappropriate humor, like funny. It
Speaker 3: was a hilarious thing he wrote as well, and then
Speaker 3: signed by him, and he walked He's like, oh there,
Speaker 3: I just thought, you know, this is my thing, and
Speaker 3: I just thought, give it to you and and and
Speaker 3: I was just so touched and moved by that, just
Speaker 3: thinking how our lives were so intertwined. And I don't know,
Speaker 3: we knew he was, We knew he was, you know, unwell,
Speaker 3: but we didn't certainly didn't know the extent. We had
Speaker 3: no idea the extent because this was a huge shock
Speaker 3: to all of us. And and it's incredibly sad. We've
Speaker 3: had countless tears and phone calls with colleagues and friends and.
Speaker 2: And we're just.
Speaker 3: But it's but it's but a lot of it, though,
Speaker 3: is most of it is just sharing how much we
Speaker 3: just love the guy and how much how lucky we
Speaker 3: are and how lucky we were to spend as much
Speaker 3: time with him as we did. And yeah, it's it's
Speaker 3: it's one of those things again. It's just there's been
Speaker 3: so much loss I feel like this year that it
Speaker 3: just it just keeps hammering home the importance of just
Speaker 3: how fleeting this life is and how important it is
Speaker 3: to really take advantage of it and to really love
Speaker 3: it and to really connect with.
Speaker 2: People, because that's really what it's all about at the
Speaker 2: end of the day. And yeah, he's a special he's
Speaker 2: a special man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like you said, he's a true just
Speaker 1: like classy gentleman. He has like a sparkle like that's
Speaker 1: what it just And this is just a viewer's point
Speaker 1: of view because I've never met him in real life,
Speaker 1: but I just was like, just like a sweet sparkle
Speaker 1: about him, lovely. But yeah, I'm very sorry for your loss.
Speaker 1: And you were honestly the first person I thought of
Speaker 1: when that happened, So I was just like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: I just can't imagine because I know that you've known
Speaker 1: him for so long. So is there a dance maybe
Speaker 1: on the tour that you'll go, Okay, hey, Len, this
Speaker 1: one's for you, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I think that.
Speaker 1: H m hmm you cry, weak cry, that's how that
Speaker 1: goes here.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's all right, Yeah, no, it's good.
Speaker 1: This is like the test of a life fully and
Speaker 1: well lived, though, is to leave people that are a
Speaker 1: lighte like you behind also feeling that you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, now, it's just it's uh, you know, I meanan
Speaker 3: thinking back as there's this video that we did with
Speaker 3: Nastia Luken when I danced and then he did this
Speaker 3: little package and it was he was saying, like, you know,
Speaker 3: I just wish that sometimes your body just starts to
Speaker 3: kind of give up on you. But I just still
Speaker 3: feel like that young old you know, Chap, you know,
Speaker 3: that dancer, And and we did this, you know, sort
Speaker 3: of a tribute to lend really and then he kind
Speaker 3: of took over and he danced and and I just
Speaker 3: can I just keep thinking back in some of these
Speaker 3: these memories and these moments and just thinking just again,
Speaker 3: just how fortunate, you know, we were to have have him,
Speaker 3: you know, for so long and on the show at least,
Speaker 3: but he certainly went far too soon in life.
Speaker 2: But uh, yeah, I don't know, I just love the guy.
Speaker 3: But yeah, they'll definitely be there'll definitely be some some
Speaker 3: some moments of honoring him and tipping the hat to him,
Speaker 3: without a doubt on tour. I think not only just
Speaker 3: for us, but I think honestly for the audience. You know,
Speaker 3: I think that a lot of the audience that will
Speaker 3: come to.
Speaker 2: The show will also they're they're they're also.
Speaker 3: In a way mourning this guy that they've watched for
Speaker 3: twenty years on TV, and there is you know, he's
Speaker 3: Len Goodman, He's the head judge. He's the guy that
Speaker 3: we all love, and I'll certainly want to want to
Speaker 3: honor him and also to in a way celebrate him
Speaker 3: with the audience for a moment in the show without
Speaker 3: a doubt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, Derek, thank you so much for coming on
Speaker 1: and just sharing your hearts with us and your words
Speaker 1: and your emotions and just like for just helping others
Speaker 1: too through through what you do. And I know it's
Speaker 1: like when I look at if I were to post something,
Speaker 1: sometimes I stop myself and go, why don't want to
Speaker 1: look dramatic or I'm looking for attention or like whether
Speaker 1: it's about like a you know, form or abuse or whatever.
Speaker 1: But there is someone that needs it, that wants you
Speaker 1: that that is listening, and you know, what you do
Speaker 1: through your dance and your words like it is, it's important.
Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you ladies for having me appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Everyone're going to be off. Symphony of Dance all new
Speaker 1: national national tour begins September twenty twenty three. Tickets on
Speaker 1: sale now at Derekcuff dot com. Will be there in
Speaker 1: national Yeah I want.
Speaker 3: It, like coming, yes, yes, okay, you will be there,
Speaker 3: Okay there and I shall we shall have a good we.
Speaker 1: Shall have a good time. Hug tight tight all right, perfect, bye, Derek,
Speaker 1: thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Thank bite.
Speaker 1: Such a sweet soul. But he was always he was.
Speaker 1: He was the coolest, like on on my season. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's Derek Cuff, Like I grew up watching Dancing with
Speaker 1: the Stars, and he was like one of them, you know.
Speaker 1: I feel like for ages, Yeah, looks great and his
Speaker 1: uh forever nineteen or something, the most beautiful, loveliest, kindest,
Speaker 1: and she's an amazing dancer too, like incredibly I envy dancers.
Speaker 1: Oh me too. Come on, Kramer, we've seen you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I can point my toe to save my life. Do
Speaker 1: you want to see something? Try to teach me a five, six,
Speaker 1: seven eight? Oh yeah, Well I didn't count, so when
Speaker 1: like I had someone that would count, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no no, I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1: I just memorize.
Speaker 2: No, I was not.
Speaker 1: I wish I could have been like I was a
Speaker 1: good figure skater. Cramer, you're far. I can't. Let me
Speaker 1: just get this baby delivered and then we can, really
Speaker 1: we can. I can show you my least amount of coordination,
Speaker 1: but some people just have it. I married one. He's
Speaker 1: a dancer. I need to get Alan to dance with me.
Speaker 1: It's one thing that does Alan dance. I have the
Speaker 1: funniest video. I posted a snippet of it on Instagram
Speaker 1: for like a little cute video that we did. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, I've been trying to like cut and dancing
Speaker 1: because he's like, I don't dance. But I'm like, every
Speaker 1: so often, like we're in the kitchen, I'll start to
Speaker 1: like try and sway with him. He's like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? Does he dance?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, there he sways listen, and so I kind of
Speaker 1: caught him one time and then he's just like he
Speaker 1: looked around and he's like, camera, dang it, listen if
Speaker 1: usher comes on, your girl over here is not slowing down.
Speaker 1: But to choreograph anything is not happening for me. Something
Speaker 1: Derek said too, and that made me think of my grandpa.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've had this moment before. But
Speaker 1: he was getting sick and I knew, you know, he
Speaker 1: was just kind of starting his Alzheimer's. And so we
Speaker 1: were playing. We liked to play cribbage together and so
Speaker 1: he's the one who taught me, and so it was
Speaker 1: it was like I knew he wasn't going to be
Speaker 1: around the next year, and so when we were sitting
Speaker 1: there playing, he wasn't playing like how Grandpa played, right,
Speaker 1: because he's the most competitive human being, Like that's where
Speaker 1: I get it from. But like he would kind of
Speaker 1: like mess up on some of the pegs, but I
Speaker 1: would just kind of like, you know, I would just
Speaker 1: watch like how, you know, he miscounted or how, and
Speaker 1: so I just kind of, like my competitiveness, I let
Speaker 1: it go. But it was just in that moment I
Speaker 1: just sat there, we just I was like, Grandpa, let's
Speaker 1: let's not let's just we can just sit here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it was like this silent and we kind of
Speaker 1: looked at each other like this knowing that this is
Speaker 1: our And I'll never forget that moment because I remember
Speaker 1: sitting at the campfire seeing my grandpa sitting in the
Speaker 1: like screened and porch and going, I need to go
Speaker 1: sit with him, and it was the memory that I'll
Speaker 1: forever cherished because it was I it was an understanding
Speaker 1: that he's not going to be here next fourth of
Speaker 1: July and he won't know, but and you just want
Speaker 1: to bottle up all of it, like you can't touch
Speaker 1: enough and get enough stories. And yeah, like I wish
Speaker 1: I would have done that with my last grandpa. But
Speaker 1: I was fourteen years old, right, so I missed things.
Speaker 1: I didn't go to the hospital to go see him
Speaker 1: because I was fourteen and wanting to be with my friends,
Speaker 1: And like that is a regret I feel to this day,
Speaker 1: like why didn't I go see my grandpa in the
Speaker 1: hospital and said go to Lisa's house? And I know,
Speaker 1: I'm like what I would have given to like having
Speaker 1: that time back with my other grandpa. I know I
Speaker 1: had this the other day. My Grandma's been gone for
Speaker 1: eleven years now. She was my person. I only had
Speaker 1: one grandparent my whole life, and she I just I
Speaker 1: asked a million questions. I was alone with her the
Speaker 1: last night she was awake. I flew in and I
Speaker 1: spent the night with her, straight to hospice and like,
Speaker 1: but you know, like there's just like time goes on
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I wish I could have like
Speaker 1: mm hmmmmmm, yeah, like different questions, like I want different
Speaker 1: answers I want like I have different questions I want
Speaker 1: to ask and I need her for certain things. And yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a lot like my first dance when I go
Speaker 1: up to Heaven will be with my grandpa at the
Speaker 1: uh so he would take me. We'd go to these
Speaker 1: German festivals and like he'd wear later hos and my
Speaker 1: dad being in the band. That's the most Michigan with
Speaker 1: October Fast. So I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: dance now, like that's my first thing I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: And I got to dance them. They kind of have
Speaker 1: that dance. But that's a maturity thing too. We can't
Speaker 1: be hard on ourselves. I mean, I thought at thirty
Speaker 1: I had asked all the questions I needed to ask.
Speaker 1: But there's a couple of phrases that have just come
Speaker 1: back to me recently that she said that have for
Speaker 1: some reason, I hadn't thought of them and forever, it
Speaker 1: feels like, and just recently she used to say, it's
Speaker 1: not a decision to be made in a day about things.
Speaker 1: So in my slow my slow down of the post
Speaker 1: grief and all the losses and all the things like
Speaker 1: I've really just been like not a decision to be
Speaker 1: made in a day, just slowing down and seeing things differently.
Speaker 1: But it's crazy how they come back to you, and
Speaker 1: those words come back too.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: On that note, that's it's good. I mean, Cramer, it's
Speaker 1: good Church.
Speaker 2: Love you guys.
Speaker 1: We'll see you next week.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 3: Seven