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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Oh we're now on the record, now on the record. Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: it's a just Kristen today. Jk get a Jake, it's

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Speaker 1: just us, no kit Kat. We have some good memories together,

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Speaker 1: you and I we've really done it good, like duo

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Speaker 1: moments together in the past. I got real emotional this morning,

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Speaker 1: so I know you wrote quite an emotional and I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, first I thought you were canceling. I

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Speaker 1: know it was my first thing. Actually was going to

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Speaker 1: change it, and I kind of wanted you guys to

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Speaker 1: think it so that you would go in like a

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Speaker 1: too use thematic pregnant person. Well no, I just wanted

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Speaker 1: you to like really read because I was like, everyone's

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Speaker 1: going to see a paragraph and dip out. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, no, this is her. I saw the

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Speaker 1: Preston seven match. I was like, oh, she's canceling. No,

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Speaker 1: her own baby shower. Here we go. No, I'm having

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Speaker 1: a little shower. And I just am emotional because it's

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Speaker 1: my last baby. How do we know for sure though,

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Speaker 1: because I'm a hundred Well no, I mean our friend

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Speaker 1: Nancy had a baby until forty she was forty five. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just so we're super clear. Yeah, I just got

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Speaker 1: emotional this morning. I was like, it just means a lot.

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Speaker 1: I mean I got I just was thinking of all

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Speaker 1: the things you and I have done, chapters, husbands, babies,

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we're going on almost a decade. Kramer, right, Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a lot, I know. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'll never forget the moment that you were sitting on

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Speaker 1: my bus bed and you told me that you were

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Speaker 1: pregnant with love and it was just and You're like,

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Speaker 1: funny thing, funny story.

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Speaker 3: Me too, me too.

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Speaker 1: And that's kind of where it started. I mean, we

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Speaker 1: really did it, and we continue to do it supportive

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Speaker 1: and good. It's I get the the lasts of things,

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Speaker 1: Like I remember when I was putting away Jase's I

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Speaker 1: was taking apart his crib and building his like first

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Speaker 1: little toddler crib bed, and I remember just crying, going,

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Speaker 1: this is the last crib I'm going to have, and

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Speaker 1: just kind of like having that like cry fast and

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Speaker 1: then I'm you know, with us moving to the new house,

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Speaker 1: the designer was like, hey, do you want a big

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Speaker 1: boy bed for Jace oh, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: he does have a big boy bed. She's like, well,

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Speaker 1: that's like a I mean that's like what like a

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Speaker 1: really small like a twin thing. Yeah. And she's like,

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Speaker 1: I mean Jolie has a I think she might have

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Speaker 1: either a full or queen. Yeah. And I was just like, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about right now. It's a

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Speaker 1: lot like I cried when we took apart the crib

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Speaker 1: every time, did you keep the crib?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, yeah, there's just I remember like going, okay,

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Speaker 1: I need to sell these things, like the clothes, and

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Speaker 1: like I everyone knows that I enjoy getting dressed for myself,

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Speaker 1: so the fact that I mean, imagine when I have

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Speaker 1: these two little clients that I get to get dressed.

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Speaker 1: So we have so many like rubber maids of just

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Speaker 1: like honestly at least fourteen rubber maids of like clothes

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Speaker 1: in our attic and the crib, and I could never

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Speaker 1: get rid of either, and I just every single time

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Speaker 1: I just would look at Preston. I was like, it's

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Speaker 1: too much, and I would just close the attic door.

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Speaker 1: Because I think I always knew that you always knew

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Speaker 1: you'd have another one. Well, I always wanted another one,

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Speaker 1: but Preston's a middle kid, and so he was the

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Speaker 1: reason we did not at first have another one. And

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Speaker 1: then he came to me and said, I feel like

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Speaker 1: we make really cool people, you do, And I was like, well, respectfully,

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Speaker 1: I raise cool people. Well you're on a tour bus.

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Speaker 1: But I'll take the indirect compliment. That's fine, and you're

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Speaker 1: not wrong. So we tried for two years and nothing,

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Speaker 1: So I don't try for two years, I mean like

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Speaker 1: actively trying each month, like I'm ovulating. Yeah, wow, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I can't take you that along with legend love. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm spoiled in that way. I always am hesitant to

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Speaker 1: even share that because I'm surrounded by so many and

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Speaker 1: I work with so many moms that have struggles getting

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Speaker 1: pregnant and if they can get pregnant, keeping the baby.

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Speaker 1: But we've never that's never been an issue. So two

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Speaker 1: years and I kind of just thought it was just

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Speaker 1: not gonna happen for us. Yeah, and then here we are,

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Speaker 1: but you're you can now close the attic door once.

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Speaker 1: This is it. As I climbed your stairs like it

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Speaker 1: was Mount Everest today and needed an oxygen tank. Right

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Speaker 1: around the third or fourth stair, I was like, Yep,

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Speaker 1: this will do it, this will be it. I'm just

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Speaker 1: really thankful. It's interesting. Sorry, I'm just alive on my

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Speaker 1: mom that you talked about the clothes, because I thought so.

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Speaker 1: When I was first pregnant with Jolie, Catherine was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to see what you dress like high

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Speaker 1: you're to dress your little girl. And at first I

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Speaker 1: would put like the cutest things together, and then within

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Speaker 1: like a few months, I was like, oh, screw this,

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Speaker 1: Like it's a lot of work. It is a lot

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Speaker 1: of work. And then it's really expensive too. Like I

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Speaker 1: remember I bought Jolie a pair of I think they

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Speaker 1: were Oh they were like Jannati Zuppie or whatever. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: really about like zepis is I love us some brand?

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Speaker 1: Like we made this joke on stage out wind down

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Speaker 1: about not knowing brand, like not being able to say it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So those are expensive, expensive, And that's the only pair

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Speaker 1: I've ever bought that was expensive because I'm like m

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Speaker 1: M because they all grow them. What I did do, though,

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Speaker 1: is there was a Onesie. There was a Onesie and

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Speaker 1: a PJ that I kept of Jolie's that it was like, yeah, Cramer,

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Speaker 1: I know. I mean like I kept like her lovey

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Speaker 1: and like you know, stuff like that, but no clothes. Wise,

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Speaker 1: that's all I kept. I have two rubber maids of

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Speaker 1: stuff that no other baby will touch, that will get

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Speaker 1: passed down to love and legends kids. Yeah. No, I

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Speaker 1: want it to be nothing. That's the thing. I mean.

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Speaker 1: I remember I got some stuff passed down for my

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Speaker 1: mom and then like even like Mike's parents were like, hey,

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Speaker 1: here's like a cute little PJS at that mic war

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Speaker 1: so like we put that on Jas and that was

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Speaker 1: really cute. So like, I've kept like literally one or

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Speaker 1: two things. I don't know why. For me, I'm just

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Speaker 1: kind of like, I like, I wish I could do that.

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Speaker 1: But then I'm also like, well why would I keep

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Speaker 1: the extra because I'm just like I don't like stuff,

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Speaker 1: so I don't either. Interesting fun fact. Fun fact. But

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Speaker 1: I think I always knew someone else was coming, or

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Speaker 1: I prayed. I always felt it. I always wanted three

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Speaker 1: or four, and I tried to reconcile my brain that

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Speaker 1: the one we lost was the third m but I

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Speaker 1: just couldn't. So I don't know if I was just

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Speaker 1: waiting to the age where it was like medically impossible

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Speaker 1: for me to have another baby, and then I could

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Speaker 1: sell it all or what the deal was. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've kept all the CL's the cloth in the crib.

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Speaker 1: That's it. And I'm really super lucky because we have

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Speaker 1: two friends in our friend groups that have had their

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Speaker 1: third babies two June's ago and then last June, and

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Speaker 1: so by this June, I'm getting all the good hand

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Speaker 1: me downs. Oh that's great, yes, and don't have to

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Speaker 1: buy a bunch of I don't like gadgets. Stresses me out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like all the gadgets, like here's your sanitizer bottle. Well,

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Speaker 1: I went through your lists and it was very minimal, minimal.

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Speaker 1: I was like, she either has kept all of them

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Speaker 1: m m or or I'm on the organ trail Oregon trail.

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Speaker 1: Then covered a wagon did this and I can't we

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Speaker 1: Sarah Bryce and I were trying to figure out. We're like,

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Speaker 1: what do you think she really wants from this list?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't really think she Like, she

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Speaker 1: doesn't need no any of Like I didn't even want

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Speaker 1: to make a registry, but you do need it though.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing I got the shape like as you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it's like I'm just happy that,

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Speaker 1: like you did do that because my friends are going

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Speaker 1: to buy big bows and like if it's a girl,

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Speaker 1: it will be I'll be inundated with like bow's as

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Speaker 1: big as a tad. And I was like, I can't

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Speaker 1: do that, so I got to keep it real streamline.

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Speaker 1: I personally think the most offensive gifts are from the

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Speaker 1: in laws or the parents. I don't or they were

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Speaker 1: they like Jolie still can't fit into certain clothes. That's

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Speaker 1: like they've been she's she was given me three years ago,

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Speaker 1: like twelve. I was like, it's big. It's big on

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Speaker 1: her mom. Yet it's like I can wear my mom.

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Speaker 1: I remember with Love. So we did find out Love's gender.

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Speaker 1: We did not find out Legends gender, and we're not

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Speaker 1: finding out this one's gender. Say I would want to

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Speaker 1: do that in the third it's so fun. It was

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Speaker 1: so fun with Legend that I was because Amazon Prime

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Speaker 1: and Target makes it so easy now to collect things.

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Speaker 1: Its fast, like I could have a whole room done

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Speaker 1: by the time I leave the hospital, you know. But

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Speaker 1: my mom was like, so I got Love her take

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Speaker 1: home outfit, like the outfit she was going to wear

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Speaker 1: them from the hospital and moms of that, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, doesn't that seem intimate or personal like

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Speaker 1: something the mom or Okay, just checking because I remember

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Speaker 1: being like, oh, okay she was again, so this is

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Speaker 1: what she'll wear on the way made sure she like

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Speaker 1: said it three times did Yeah, yeah, that's nice for you.

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Speaker 1: Second baby was more boundaries than the third baby. I'm

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Speaker 1: not what no visitors told July I need to. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna need you to hold a leg.

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Speaker 1: We're in deep now, Grammar. I mean, this is your baby.

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Speaker 1: I've come me to the hospital and duh, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just so glad we're out of the I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine the COVID era of pregnancies because all those moms

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Speaker 1: deserve a refund. Really, I mean truly having the labor

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Speaker 1: with mass On, Oh can't. I have so many words

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Speaker 1: for that. But yeah, and then the people not being

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Speaker 1: able to be there, So that part I actually wished

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Speaker 1: was a rule for me. You know, I love a boundary.

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Speaker 1: I want everybody there. Okay, this is our personalities. Are

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Speaker 1: you a Jana?

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Speaker 2: Are you a like?

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Speaker 1: I like I when I had Jolie, it was in laws,

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Speaker 1: my parents, Catherine, where were you my, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: you're always I have both FaceTime pictures of me and

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Speaker 1: Labor Yeah, with you and I So I think you

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Speaker 1: were LA with love La. Well you had love yeah,

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Speaker 1: but Jace, so but you were in LA yeah, so

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Speaker 1: you couldn't be in my right church yeah, but no

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Speaker 1: for my like yeah, I'm like, I'm more the merrier.

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Speaker 1: And then when I had Jace in Los Angeles, like

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Speaker 1: we had his parents fly in, so I love and

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Speaker 1: like Sarah Gretzky came to the hospital like I'm I'm like,

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Speaker 1: do you have music going? Will you labor?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 1: Here was my with my Well, y'all can listen to Jace's.

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Speaker 1: And that's the most like embarrassing labor podcast episode I've

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Speaker 1: ever done, because it's me going like I got that pass.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just threw up. Like it's like

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Speaker 1: it's I'm like, why we're in the right vie do this?

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Speaker 1: And why did we we podcasted our delivery like literally

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Speaker 1: Mike pressed for cord and it was and we didn't

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Speaker 1: edit any of that down. No, Okay, those are the

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Speaker 1: things on this episode of sea of regret for my

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Speaker 1: sea section of Jason, but like I am the worst,

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Speaker 1: like because I have to have sea sections, and so

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Speaker 1: they had to knock me out both pregnancies. They had

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Speaker 1: to or they were just like, let's do ourselves as solid. Well,

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Speaker 1: I started freaking out because I can't feel my legs.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like I was like, I can't feel my legs.

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Speaker 1: I should have been my a doula for you. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I could have really helped you. Well that's

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Speaker 1: I mean, I just think that's the most traumatizing. Like

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Speaker 1: I don't like to not be able to feel my

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Speaker 1: legs but feels. And so when I then woke up

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Speaker 1: and you know, they're like seasong my belly, you know,

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Speaker 1: baby comes out. I'm still like high on xanax or

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Speaker 1: whatever they gave me. So they placed the baby or

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Speaker 1: whatever dead dio is a pan or whatever, and then

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Speaker 1: they laid the baby on my chest. And then in

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Speaker 1: that moment is kind of when I start to come to.

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Speaker 1: And then that's when I'm like, oh, gave you give

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Speaker 1: me the more I said, They're like, we can't give

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Speaker 1: you any more about I said, I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: it is the weekend at Bernie's legs. That will start

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Speaker 1: to make a girl Panmic I'll say, I don't like it.

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Speaker 1: I understand. Sorry, I don't mean to figure out as

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Speaker 1: you're like, no, I feel really good. I like calm, quiet,

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Speaker 1: no people very sacred like it is. I don't want

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Speaker 1: anyone in the room while I'm doing I mean, you

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Speaker 1: can't with the see section. Besides, you're like person. I

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Speaker 1: want to share this little brief story because a lot

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Speaker 1: of moms have been messaging me about just my opinions

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Speaker 1: on boundaries and my openness about my parents. It's been

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Speaker 1: really sweet, actually, but this is a brief story. So

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Speaker 1: I made this post the other day about like we

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Speaker 1: have shut down visitors for six weeks at our house

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Speaker 1: because you know, none of our family lives here, so

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Speaker 1: when they come to visit, they have to like move

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Speaker 1: in for days. And that's a lot for me. And

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Speaker 1: and that's I'm just not that person. And I've tried

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Speaker 1: really hard to be that person. I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: not christ Like to not be that person. So I've

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Speaker 1: really gotten like holy and in the depths, and I

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Speaker 1: still can't do it. So now I just know that's

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Speaker 1: just who I am, and that's Okay, thank you Amy

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Speaker 1: Alexander at the refuge center. Really I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: try to sing it because only one of us does that,

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Speaker 1: so not very well. So I made this post and

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Speaker 1: I was like, we're not accepting visitors. This is the

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Speaker 1: sacred time. Like it's just like I have waited for

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Speaker 1: the deep breath of like that was our last visitor,

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Speaker 1: that was my last sheet set to wash, and now

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Speaker 1: we just get to be together in this sacred space.

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Speaker 1: And then I've really pushed it out to like not

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Speaker 1: even the grandparents until July, which I'm sure I'm going

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Speaker 1: to get a lot of hate. I'm not saying that

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Speaker 1: we're due beginning of June. But my world is me

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Speaker 1: with these kids and sometimes a Dada when he's off

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Speaker 1: the road. So like it's a little more disruptive and

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Speaker 1: less helpful when I have guests in the house. So

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Speaker 1: I remember I had requested that the two days I

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Speaker 1: was in the hospital with Love that we have no

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Speaker 1: family at the hospital. That Creston and I had just

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Speaker 1: met each other like five minutes before that, so we

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Speaker 1: were still trying to get to know each other and

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Speaker 1: our baby, and I had the weekend to Bernie's legs

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Speaker 1: and a bedpan. I was peeing in a bedpan. Reston said,

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Speaker 1: my mom and my brother are outside the door. His

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Speaker 1: mom lived six hours away. And I just had a

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Speaker 1: big smile and I go why and he's like, well,

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Speaker 1: they drove down, and I said, with a horrible idea,

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Speaker 1: and they were in the room when we moved up

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Speaker 1: to the room you settle into outside of the delivery room.

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Speaker 1: And then the next morning, eight am, his brother and

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Speaker 1: his mom were in my hospital room. Now first baby,

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Speaker 1: you're like learning how to breastfeed, Like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: my boobs out with my mother in law. She's a

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Speaker 1: Church of Christ preacher woman.

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Speaker 2: Like.

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Speaker 1: I just was like, what is happening? And his brother

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Speaker 1: says all right, Mom, we'll see you after work and

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Speaker 1: starts to head for the door, and I go when

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Speaker 1: is after work? Six pm?

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Speaker 3: Hmmm?

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Speaker 1: And I had to call a meeting. I was like okay.

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Speaker 1: I looked at the nurse and I was like, can

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Speaker 1: you clear the room? And she was like uh huh,

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Speaker 1: like she must do like you know, like I needed

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Speaker 1: a check or something. So mom and everybody had to

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Speaker 1: step outside. And I just looked at my husband and

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Speaker 1: was like, I can't I don't want to be half

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Speaker 1: naked in front of your mom all day I'm learning

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Speaker 1: how to Oh, that was something that should have been

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Speaker 1: discussed beforehand. Like that was very unfair to put you

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Speaker 1: in that situation because then you look like the bad

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Speaker 1: person too. Yeah, to be like, well, Kristen doesn't want you,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like that's not fair. I

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Speaker 1: just felt like the room lost all oxygen and it

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Speaker 1: got really really tiny. And she's a great, wonderful woman,

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Speaker 1: like she's she's microscopic, and no matter how it's your times,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't need now six weeks, no, no visitors mm hmmm,

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Speaker 1: uh huh? Is pressing going to be home that entire time? No,

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Speaker 1: he's hardly ever home really, he's on a ten day

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Speaker 1: run right now. But why would she want no? I mean,

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Speaker 1: like my I have my friends here, right I just

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Speaker 1: don't need family in the house. Can they not? Can

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Speaker 1: they come and just stay at like in a hotel?

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Speaker 1: They could, but we'd pay for that, Oh you would?

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Speaker 1: Uh huh yeah, okay, trust hmm. The third times a

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Speaker 1: charm Cramer. I'm proud of you for just putting your

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Speaker 1: foot down on the last one. How long is p

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Speaker 1: get to stay home for who no days? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that doesn't seem We've got a four day window

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Speaker 1: between mid May and mid June that he'll be in

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Speaker 1: town while I go into labor. So he had to

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Speaker 1: fly in the day. Legend was born from Ontario Friday

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Speaker 1: night in August, canceled a show and was out the

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Speaker 1: next day. Well, so we'll just see you got your

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Speaker 1: tribe here. I'm glad you're here. Grammar, that is all

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Speaker 1: I have to say. Oh I love it. Hold my

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Speaker 1: baby hair. Speaking of babies, let's see if Derek Huff

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Speaker 1: has any babies on his mind. Let's take a break,

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Speaker 1: get him on the show.

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Speaker 2: Hey, guys, what's up. How you doing? Well?

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Speaker 1: You know, we were talking babies, and you know, I

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Speaker 1: just love to stir the pot because last time I'm like,

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Speaker 1: when are you getting engaged?

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Speaker 2: And then it was like and now when do you

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Speaker 2: have a baby?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, It's like that's like the next the next topic.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, speaking up.

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Speaker 2: I'm ready, really, I'm ready to get on it. Let's

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Speaker 2: do this.

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Speaker 1: He's like, we babies, Anna is in the practice, or

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Speaker 1: Anna is in the family growing?

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Speaker 2: Oh all of the above.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, oh I like that, how many kids do

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Speaker 1: you want?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, I think we'll start with one and.

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Speaker 3: That's how but I will say I will say vow.

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Speaker 3: I went to Valaja's baby like five days after she

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Speaker 3: had had a home and and val was so cool man,

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Speaker 3: he was just like, you know, hey, bro, like you know,

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Speaker 3: like we're like these overachievers and we're like, you know

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Speaker 3: all this, but like there's nothing like this, and I

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Speaker 3: just my only regrets.

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Speaker 2: I wish I would have done this sooner.

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Speaker 3: And he was just he just said some really beautiful

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Speaker 3: things and it just it just really got me even

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Speaker 3: more excited about starting a family.

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Speaker 2: So, yeah, what do you.

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Speaker 1: Think is you're like it's just from a guy's perspective

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Speaker 1: something that you like, you're you're scared about fatherhood.

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Speaker 2: Like scared about Yeah, oh interesting. I don't know. I

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Speaker 2: think I don't know if I'm really scared. Honestly, I

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Speaker 2: don't think I'm really nervous.

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Speaker 3: Like I'm pretty like pretty like ready pretty excited. Let

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Speaker 3: me rephrase that, let me phrase that. Actually I just

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Speaker 3: reality just said it.

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Speaker 2: I okay.

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Speaker 3: So as an uncle of a Bazilian nieces and nephew,

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Speaker 3: I am a bit I'm chasing them around, worried about

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Speaker 3: every corner and every danger, and my sisters was like, dude,

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Speaker 3: if they're gonna fall, they're gonna fall.

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Speaker 2: They get like what what I was like, They got

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Speaker 2: to be protected. So it's, uh, I'm nervous about that.

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Speaker 3: But I think that that's just because I'm not around

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Speaker 3: it enough to understand that there is fragility. But there

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Speaker 3: was also the learning curve of a child having to

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Speaker 3: just experience life, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I think it's really important. Yeah, So I think I'm

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Speaker 2: just gonna be a nervous wreck for the first at least.

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Speaker 3: However long, I'm sure I'm gonna be just like, you know,

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Speaker 3: freaking out about every you know, danger, I suppose.

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Speaker 1: But I'm still a helicopter. I'm a psych I'm a psychopath.

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Speaker 1: I'm my oldest is seven and we have another baby

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Speaker 1: do in June, and I'm a psychopath. I'm forever like

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Speaker 1: here's your helmets and here's your pads, yep, And I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of like the other where I'm like, I at

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Speaker 1: first would like take, you know, put the little padding

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Speaker 1: around the corners of the island, and then afterwards I'm

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Speaker 1: like listen. That's you're going to hit your head if

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Speaker 1: you don't. You know, you hate to be aware of

396
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Speaker 1: now what your surroundings are. So I take them off.

397
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Speaker 1: And it's like at times even their day, Jase went

398
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Speaker 1: to put his head unerneath table, so I put my

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Speaker 1: hand right above where it's so like he doesn't hit.

400
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Speaker 1: But at the same time, it's like he's got a

401
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,440
Speaker 1: note that like yeah, yeah, yeah. He had just gotten

402
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Speaker 1: back from his surgery and he was like all out

403
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Speaker 1: of like, you know, poor guy. And so he gets

404
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Speaker 1: up and he hits his he hits the front of

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Speaker 1: his head on the thing, and then goes to the

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Speaker 1: counter and hits I'm like, oh my god, like and

407
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Speaker 1: so it was just like the head of all things.

408
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: It was like a pinball of like going from like

409
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Speaker 1: and it's like then I just wrapped him up in

410
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: like a little cocoon. But they need, like you know,

411
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:45,360
Speaker 1: they they will learn too, like yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think I think part of it too, is just

413
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Speaker 3: because I was such an accident from kid. You know,

414
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Speaker 3: I was always getting hurt and you know, jumping off

415
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,920
Speaker 3: things and knocking my teeth out and uh, you know,

416
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Speaker 3: just all all sorts of problems. So I think I

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Speaker 3: just knowing my child, I'm sure we'll have that type

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Speaker 3: of energy, and so I just have to sort of

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Speaker 3: look out for a lookout for her because I feel

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Speaker 3: like you'll be a girl.

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Speaker 1: Oh I like that. That's cute. You have nothing to announce.

422
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, you just seem so intue.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he did this last time to us too.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, but I think that's cool. I think it's

425
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 1: it's fine. He's what he has to announce. This is tour,

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00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 1: that's the that's the that's you're a busy guy. You're yeah,

427
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 1: and you're going to be judging and then doing your show. Yes, yes,

428
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: So you should be scared of not seeing your baby.

429
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: That should be what you're afraid of.

430
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 2: Well, that will be. That's That's why I'm packing it

431
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 2: all in now smart. I mean, we're getting it. We're

432
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 2: getting it all in now. We're traveling, we're doing all

433
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 2: these things.

434
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 3: But uh yeah, So it's gonna be really really busy fall,

435
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 3: but super super exciting. You know, Season thirty two of

436
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 3: Dancing the Stars is happening, and you know, and at

437
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 3: the same time and be going on tour to fifty

438
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,880
Speaker 3: six city Uh, so it's gonna be crazy.

439
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 2: I haven't been on Scorn four years, so I'm so excited.

440
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 3: To finally go out there, get on the bus, go

441
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 3: in to people's cities, see their see their faces, see

442
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 3: them person, give them hugs, the whole thing.

443
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's it's Uh. We have a live band,

444
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 2: we have the most incredible dancers.

445
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 3: We're actually having a whole a big audition this Friday

446
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 3: actually with all these hundreds of dances coming in and uh, yeah,

447
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 3: I'm putting a lot of a lot of heart and

448
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 3: soul and love into this show. And and of course

449
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 3: my fiance Haley, she's gonna be on the road with me.

450
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: And I saw her on the on the fire and

451
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I love that, Like I love

452
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 1: that you guys are doing this together because it's I'm

453
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: sure there's going to be some really romantic dances in

454
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 1: there too, and just like I don't know, I just

455
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 1: I love I love a husband, wife duo.

456
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 3: You know.

457
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna beautiful, I mean.

458
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 3: And the reason why I'm calling it Symphony of Dance

459
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 3: is you know, for me, it's well, for a symphony

460
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,239
Speaker 3: is basically a collaboration, right, It's where every people come

461
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 3: together and it's like everybody's great at their individual gifts,

462
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 3: their individual instruments or their talents, whatever it might be

463
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 3: in life or music or dance, whatever it is. When

464
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 3: we come together, we really do create this beautiful symphony.

465
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 3: And that's what the show really represents, is it's such

466
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 3: an eclectic you know, different genres of music and styles

467
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 3: of dance and and you know, and just just people.

468
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 3: And that's what it's all about. This is about building

469
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 3: this beautiful symphony of dance. So I'm very excited about it.

470
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 1: I didn't click on the dates. Are you coming to

471
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 1: us Nashville, Nashville.

472
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, grand Ole Opry, We'll be there. We'll be there

473
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 3: grand Ole Opry. It's a great venue. I love performing there.

474
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 2: So it's a nationale always nash will always show up.

475
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,159
Speaker 2: They always bring great energy. So I'm excited. I was

476
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: just in Nashville.

477
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 1: Things were saying, hey, that was really fun. That was

478
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: a fun hang we have No.

479
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: It was great. Well, listen to my sister.

480
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 3: She's a real estate agent out there, and every time

481
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 3: I go there, she's showing me how that She's like, hey,

482
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 3: this this is available, Like you will want to come

483
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 3: out here, and because my mom lives there now, my

484
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 3: other sister lives there now, So it's a we're slowly

485
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 3: all migrating to Nashville.

486
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: Are you LA based?

487
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: I am, Yeah, I live in Los Angeles.

488
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, most of LA has moved here, so we welcome you.

489
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 1: Our entire neighborhood is pretty much LA. So it's wild, man,

490
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 1: it's nuts, but it's a great place, like when you

491
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 1: are ready to like settle down, have the family, Like

492
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: this is such a good family town, as you know,

493
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: so it would be a good place to set up shop.

494
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: But I'm curious, you know, you you put so much

495
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: of your real life into your dances. You know, I

496
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 1: remember just you know, over the years watching Dancing with

497
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 1: the Stars and then also some of the dances that

498
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 1: you've done with your sister and you know, childhood and upbringing.

499
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 1: Is there a dance or a story in your life

500
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: that you haven't been able to put into dance yet

501
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 1: because it's painful or hard, or or a dance that

502
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: you want to want to do.

503
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 2: That's a great question, you know. I think.

504
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 3: What's so great about what's so great about dance or

505
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: a performance, right is that you can create a performance

506
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 3: or create a piece that is very meaningful to you,

507
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 3: to me, to to to the person is creating it.

508
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 3: But we don't necessarily have to share that it's about us,

509
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, or share that it's it's

510
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 3: it's our story perhaps because and so to answer your question, yes,

511
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 3: there are certain things that even if I didn't want

512
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 3: to necessarily share, you know what I mean, with with everybody,

513
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 3: if I wanted to keep it personal. But but without

514
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 3: a doubt, have the freedom and the luxury of really

515
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 3: creating pieces that can be very cathartic and and beautiful

516
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 3: about past experiences or traumas or pains or aches. And

517
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 3: that's what's so beautiful about art, you know, is that

518
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,119
Speaker 3: they are they are a part of who you are

519
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 3: and you're But what's so healing and so beautiful about

520
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 3: it is that when you share those types of things

521
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 3: too with other people, you realize you're, like, this is

522
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 3: my story, but it's also so many other people's stories.

523
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 3: You know, so many other people experience you know, you know,

524
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 3: heartbreak or or or loss, you know, and uh or

525
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 3: or just other other elements. I mean, you know, we

526
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 3: actually did a piece a couple of years ago, you

527
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 3: know about my parents'.

528
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:28,479
Speaker 2: Divorce, you know what I mean.

529
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 3: And it was you know, on television, and it's it

530
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 3: was one of those things where I felt a little

531
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 3: bit like do we do we do this?

532
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 2: Do we talk? We like share this in this way?

533
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 2: You know, and and.

534
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 3: But it was it was a beautiful piece. I think

535
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 3: that a lot of people sort of responded to that

536
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 3: and felt that way, felt good towards it. But so yeah,

537
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,160
Speaker 3: so so to answer your actual question, because I kind

538
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 3: of danced around a little bit, no pun and send it.

539
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 3: But yeah, there's definitely some things that I would love

540
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 3: to create that I feel like could be incredibly cathartic

541
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 3: for you know, past experiences, I should say.

542
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I love when people put their past

543
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: like and explain it because it is so helpful and

544
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: I feel like it adds that like additional healing and

545
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 1: help for other people, Like I think obviously movement is

546
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 1: so healing. And then to be able to like when

547
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: you guys talked about the divorce, I'm like, oh, yeah,

548
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: that is like how I felt in movement, And like

549
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: there's just the emotions that you guys bring in dance too,

550
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: and like it's just all of it is so I mean,

551
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: that's even when I had my brain there's stint on

552
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars. It was like working through certain

553
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: things and I'm like, wow, this was so cathartic, Like

554
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 1: this felt so good.

555
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. So there was a video I did a couple

556
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 2: of years ago. I wrote a song. It was called

557
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 2: hold On, and it was basically about about suicide.

558
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 3: And you know, I wrote this video because I had experienced,

559
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 3: you know, something close to be you know, suicide when

560
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 3: I was fifteen.

561
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 2: Years old and.

562
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 3: Other people around me, and even having that those own

563
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 3: thoughts myself, you know, at a certain point, you know,

564
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 3: years ago, and I wrote this song and I created

565
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 3: this video, and so that was an experience where people

566
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 3: didn't necessarily necessarily know that about me personally, but it

567
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 3: was certainly was a way for me to sort of.

568
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 2: Share that in a in an artistic way. And that

569
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 2: video was you know, really really powerful.

570
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 3: And then I ended up working with this young dancer

571
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 3: who I've known for a while, and he told me

572
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 3: his story about how his father, you know, died by suicide,

573
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 3: and we created this beautiful dance piece, this beautiful piece,

574
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: and he shared his story and it was so powerful

575
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 3: and you know, it's just just recently, obviously I've experienced

576
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 3: two more people close to me unfortunately that by suicide,

577
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 3: and it was just is something that, yeah, I go

578
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 3: back to that, that song or that video or that

579
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 3: it's that time when I created that as sort of

580
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 3: a moment to feel I don't know, like wanting to

581
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 3: reach out more, you know what I mean, and wanting

582
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 3: to sort of do more in that space because it's

583
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 3: just there's nothing more. There's nothing more painful than feeling

584
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 3: like you could have done something where you feel like

585
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 3: you want to do more for people. And that's that's

586
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 3: really truly, honestly my overall mission really, you know, when

587
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 3: people when I do do dance or perform or do

588
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 3: silly tiktoks or silly post or whatever, it is the

589
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 3: underlying sort of intention of almost everything I do is

590
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 3: really to be to serve.

591
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 2: It really is to serve people and.

592
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 3: To make somebody laugh, bring a little bit of joy,

593
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 3: or to implement something you know, inspiring or something that

594
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 3: can possibly move somebody and so possibly stir somebody in

595
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 3: a different direction if they seem to be going.

596
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: Down a different paths. And and that's even what I

597
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 2: love about tour as well.

598
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 3: Is like those meet and greets and those Q and a's,

599
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 3: you know, I go above and beyond, above and beyond

600
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 3: you know what is actually on the paper of.

601
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 2: Like yeah, I get a picture or do this for me?

602
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 2: That is a true moment for me to like connect

603
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 2: actually connect with somebody there.

604
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 3: And the amount of questions I get a people's asking

605
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 3: things and I really try to show up for people

606
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 3: in those moments.

607
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 2: But sorry, I kind of went up on the TANGI no, no, no, no.

608
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: There's no tangents here. Well, I think the thing is

609
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 1: too is like you're saying, is that you never know

610
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: what someone's going through. I mean, I'm you know, I'm sure.

611
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: I think one of the people you're referring to is twitch.

612
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: And I remember when I looked at my phone, I

613
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: was like what, Like I would have never in a

614
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: million I mean I literally screamed out what And it

615
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: was like because I'm like, how like the happiest, joyful, dancing, loving,

616
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: and I'm just like wow, Like that just so shows

617
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: that like you just have no idea and it's like

618
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: to really like dig deep and like have those meaningful

619
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: conversations whether it'll help in the end or not least

620
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: like to to like go that extra layer.

621
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, it just it just makes you just

622
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 3: at least when I when I heard that, my first

623
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 3: feeling was, you know, who can I.

624
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 2: Who can I call right now that needs me? You

625
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Who? Who? Who have I not

626
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 2: spoken to in a while? Who can I just reach

627
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: out to right now just to think, you know, because it's.

628
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 3: You know, I kind of feel like when I found

629
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 3: that out, I think it was just about a week

630
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 3: or two before that, I had this overwhelming feeling like

631
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 3: I needed to share something in this space, you know,

632
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 3: in that space of because it was during the winter

633
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: and that's like a big time for you know, mental

634
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 3: health and people are like going through a lot of

635
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 3: a lot of pain. And I was literally like had

636
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 3: this feeling like I need to like say something, I

637
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 3: need to post something, I need to like just share

638
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 3: something and just reach out. And and I can't remember

639
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 3: what it was, but I remember something happening and be

640
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 3: like and I just didn't do it, you know. I

641
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 3: was like I was like, oh, yeah, I'm doing this

642
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 3: Disney special and I just like I need to just

643
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 3: I need to focus on that. I just didn't do

644
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 3: that and then two weeks later that happened, and so

645
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 3: of course knowing that it's not your fault, but in

646
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 3: that moment, you do have that sense of.

647
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 2: Like what if I would have just you know, could

648
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: I have?

649
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 3: And and I know everybody goes through that, and of

650
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 3: course there's you know, it's it's nobody's fault, you know,

651
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: and those in those situations, but it does sort of

652
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 3: inspire you a little bit more to reach out, you know,

653
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 3: and to reach out to people you haven't spoken to,

654
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 3: and also to just squash things too, you know what

655
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 3: I mean, Like when people are saying, oh, I have this,

656
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not talking to so and so because

657
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 3: of this or that or whatever it is.

658
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 2: It's like, guys, like, you know, we are on this

659
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 2: planet for the shortest amount of time. We really are.

660
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 3: This is such a fleeting moment and every single day

661
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 3: it truly is. Without getting too you know, you know,

662
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 3: preachy here, but it's such a gift. It really is

663
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 3: such a gift. I mean, like when you feel the

664
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 3: you're heart beating, you know, nobody get you know, you

665
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 3: didn't have to buy that, you didn't.

666
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 2: Have to earn it. It was a gift.

667
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 3: It was given to us, you know, and so we

668
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 3: are just so gifted with this life and it's and

669
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 3: I just want, I really just want everybody to feel

670
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 3: that way. And I know it's not the case because

671
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 3: I've been in that dark place. I've been in a

672
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 3: really really tough place, and honestly, dance some music really

673
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 3: got me. And also, you know, doing work and going

674
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 3: to listening to things and reading things and all that

675
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 3: stuff really helped me.

676
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 2: And people say that, dude, you're the most positive, most energetic.

677
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 2: I was like, I think it's because I'm the most

678
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 2: messed up, you know what I mean.

679
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 3: Like I had to do a lot of work early

680
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 3: on to figure it all out, and I'm still still

681
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 3: We're still on the process, and it's still a beautiful

682
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 3: journey just discovering yourself. But on the way, the real

683
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 3: secret to living is giving, you know, and how we

684
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 3: give ourselves to other people, and how we serve and

685
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 3: how we show up for them, how we reach out

686
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 3: and and and for me, dancing and performing is a

687
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 3: way I do that, on top of you know, hopefully

688
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 3: reaching out personally as well.

689
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: So I love that. I just think it's really inspiring

690
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: when people have a platform and use it to connect

691
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: with people, like using all avenues like listen, I'm married

692
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 1: to a singer songwriter. I'm best friends with the singer songwriter.

693
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: I can't do that, and I'm certainly not a dancer.

694
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: But when I watch people use like their unique avenues

695
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 1: and those outlets that they have to just actually pour

696
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: back into people, that's like the I mean, that's literally

697
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,439
Speaker 1: what we're that's what you do on earth for Heaven's sake,

698
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: you know, like we're here to connect, to not feel alone,

699
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 1: to give each other another minute, to hug each other,

700
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,800
Speaker 1: like we do the wind Down Tour, and it's so

701
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,240
Speaker 1: fun because we get to like actually hug and cry

702
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,720
Speaker 1: and like be with people and go heartbeat to heartbeat

703
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 1: and that matters so much. I'm just really thankful to

704
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 1: use your platform for that. Yeah, And I love the

705
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: fact too that you know that you say it's you know,

706
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: our our hearts are like our life is a gift, right,

707
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,879
Speaker 1: and so it's like that's why I'm on this movement,

708
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 1: Like can't just everyone be happy and let's all help

709
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: each other and just love. And I'm like, there's no like,

710
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 1: I don't want hate in my heart for anybody. I

711
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: want to just like just love be well, like cause

712
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: it's like it can any moment, this can change and

713
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: we you know, go home. Yeah, but yeah, you guys

714
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 1: as a Dancing with the Stars family, like even you

715
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: and Jana, I mean you, this has been a tough

716
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: week for y'all too.

717
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:42,359
Speaker 2: Oh.

718
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,800
Speaker 1: I mean I just knew him from a lovely judge

719
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: who I wanted to impress him more than anybody on

720
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,320
Speaker 1: that panel, Like I loved all the other judges, but

721
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: like looking like I went back down a few things,

722
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 1: and I like when when Len gave me a compliment,

723
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: it made my life. And as an observer, he just

724
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: had such a light about him. I can't imagine in

725
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: person what that feels like. I'm very sorry for your

726
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 1: loss because I know that you have had spent years

727
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 1: with them.

728
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

729
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 3: I had the pleasure of knowing Land since I was

730
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 3: twelve years old, you know, when I lived in London,

731
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 3: and I remember him here just was always just he

732
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 3: had the gift of the gap.

733
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 2: He just always had the great just energy and so

734
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 2: funny and playful.

735
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 3: And then and then having the opportunity to work with

736
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 3: him on Dance with the Stars, and and then you

737
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,280
Speaker 3: said it, you know where we all seek his approval,

738
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, even if you weren't even

739
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 3: on the show, you know, I was just like, did

740
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 3: you like that? You know, you just always you just

741
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 3: he just had that like you just had that respect

742
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,800
Speaker 3: for him, and that he had that presence and he

743
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,839
Speaker 3: had that just that British gentleman about him. And its

744
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 3: just I feel incredibly emotional and sad about it, and

745
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 3: then at the same time, I feel so grateful that

746
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 3: the last season that we shared together, we.

747
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know, there was like this feeling

748
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 2: like this, you know, I knew.

749
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 3: This was gonna be his last season, but I also

750
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 3: was I had every moment I spent with him, I

751
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 3: really I really savored it. I really savored the moments

752
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 3: I spent with him, and really and we we were

753
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 3: playful with each other, and we had these one on

754
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 3: one conversations and he and that even before the day

755
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 3: the last day, I walked in my j's dressing room,

756
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 3: there's this giant picture of land. It was framed beautiful

757
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 3: gold frame, and it's a picture of him and and

758
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 3: I had this handwritten message from him, and it was

759
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 3: so beautiful, but also like inappropriate humor, like funny. It

760
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 3: was a hilarious thing he wrote as well, and then

761
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 3: signed by him, and he walked He's like, oh there,

762
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 3: I just thought, you know, this is my thing, and

763
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 3: I just thought, give it to you and and and

764
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 3: I was just so touched and moved by that, just

765
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 3: thinking how our lives were so intertwined. And I don't know,

766
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 3: we knew he was, We knew he was, you know, unwell,

767
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 3: but we didn't certainly didn't know the extent. We had

768
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,439
Speaker 3: no idea the extent because this was a huge shock

769
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 3: to all of us. And and it's incredibly sad. We've

770
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 3: had countless tears and phone calls with colleagues and friends and.

771
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 2: And we're just.

772
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 3: But it's but it's but a lot of it, though,

773
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 3: is most of it is just sharing how much we

774
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 3: just love the guy and how much how lucky we

775
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 3: are and how lucky we were to spend as much

776
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 3: time with him as we did. And yeah, it's it's

777
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 3: it's one of those things again. It's just there's been

778
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 3: so much loss I feel like this year that it

779
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 3: just it just keeps hammering home the importance of just

780
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 3: how fleeting this life is and how important it is

781
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 3: to really take advantage of it and to really love

782
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 3: it and to really connect with.

783
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 2: People, because that's really what it's all about at the

784
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 2: end of the day. And yeah, he's a special he's

785
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 2: a special man.

786
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like you said, he's a true just

787
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: like classy gentleman. He has like a sparkle like that's

788
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 1: what it just And this is just a viewer's point

789
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: of view because I've never met him in real life,

790
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 1: but I just was like, just like a sweet sparkle

791
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:30,959
Speaker 1: about him, lovely. But yeah, I'm very sorry for your loss.

792
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: And you were honestly the first person I thought of

793
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: when that happened, So I was just like, oh, like,

794
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: I just can't imagine because I know that you've known

795
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: him for so long. So is there a dance maybe

796
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: on the tour that you'll go, Okay, hey, Len, this

797
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: one's for you, you know.

798
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I think that.

799
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:54,800
Speaker 1: H m hmm you cry, weak cry, that's how that

800
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 1: goes here.

801
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's all right, Yeah, no, it's good.

802
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 1: This is like the test of a life fully and

803
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: well lived, though, is to leave people that are a

804
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: lighte like you behind also feeling that you know.

805
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, now, it's just it's uh, you know, I meanan

806
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 3: thinking back as there's this video that we did with

807
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,800
Speaker 3: Nastia Luken when I danced and then he did this

808
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,360
Speaker 3: little package and it was he was saying, like, you know,

809
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 3: I just wish that sometimes your body just starts to

810
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 3: kind of give up on you. But I just still

811
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 3: feel like that young old you know, Chap, you know,

812
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 3: that dancer, And and we did this, you know, sort

813
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 3: of a tribute to lend really and then he kind

814
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 3: of took over and he danced and and I just

815
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 3: can I just keep thinking back in some of these

816
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 3: these memories and these moments and just thinking just again,

817
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 3: just how fortunate, you know, we were to have have him,

818
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 3: you know, for so long and on the show at least,

819
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 3: but he certainly went far too soon in life.

820
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 2: But uh, yeah, I don't know, I just love the guy.

821
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 3: But yeah, they'll definitely be there'll definitely be some some

822
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 3: some moments of honoring him and tipping the hat to him,

823
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 3: without a doubt on tour. I think not only just

824
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 3: for us, but I think honestly for the audience. You know,

825
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 3: I think that a lot of the audience that will

826
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 3: come to.

827
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 2: The show will also they're they're they're also.

828
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 3: In a way mourning this guy that they've watched for

829
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 3: twenty years on TV, and there is you know, he's

830
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 3: Len Goodman, He's the head judge. He's the guy that

831
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 3: we all love, and I'll certainly want to want to

832
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 3: honor him and also to in a way celebrate him

833
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 3: with the audience for a moment in the show without

834
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 3: a doubt.

835
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, Derek, thank you so much for coming on

836
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: and just sharing your hearts with us and your words

837
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:48,479
Speaker 1: and your emotions and just like for just helping others

838
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: too through through what you do. And I know it's

839
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:56,399
Speaker 1: like when I look at if I were to post something,

840
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 1: sometimes I stop myself and go, why don't want to

841
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: look dramatic or I'm looking for attention or like whether

842
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: it's about like a you know, form or abuse or whatever.

843
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 1: But there is someone that needs it, that wants you

844
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 1: that that is listening, and you know, what you do

845
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 1: through your dance and your words like it is, it's important.

846
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing.

847
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you ladies for having me appreciate it.

848
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: Everyone're going to be off. Symphony of Dance all new

849
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: national national tour begins September twenty twenty three. Tickets on

850
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: sale now at Derekcuff dot com. Will be there in

851
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: national Yeah I want.

852
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 3: It, like coming, yes, yes, okay, you will be there,

853
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 3: Okay there and I shall we shall have a good we.

854
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 1: Shall have a good time. Hug tight tight all right, perfect, bye, Derek,

855
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: thank you so much.

856
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 2: Thank bite.

857
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 1: Such a sweet soul. But he was always he was.

858
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 1: He was the coolest, like on on my season. I mean,

859
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 1: he's Derek Cuff, Like I grew up watching Dancing with

860
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 1: the Stars, and he was like one of them, you know.

861
00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 1: I feel like for ages, Yeah, looks great and his

862
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 1: uh forever nineteen or something, the most beautiful, loveliest, kindest,

863
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 1: and she's an amazing dancer too, like incredibly I envy dancers.

864
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 1: Oh me too. Come on, Kramer, we've seen you. Yeah.

865
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 1: I can point my toe to save my life. Do

866
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 1: you want to see something? Try to teach me a five, six,

867
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:22,359
Speaker 1: seven eight? Oh yeah, Well I didn't count, so when

868
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: like I had someone that would count, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no,

869
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: no no no no, I don't know how to do that.

870
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 1: I just memorize.

871
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 2: No, I was not.

872
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 1: I wish I could have been like I was a

873
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 1: good figure skater. Cramer, you're far. I can't. Let me

874
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 1: just get this baby delivered and then we can, really

875
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 1: we can. I can show you my least amount of coordination,

876
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: but some people just have it. I married one. He's

877
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: a dancer. I need to get Alan to dance with me.

878
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: It's one thing that does Alan dance. I have the

879
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 1: funniest video. I posted a snippet of it on Instagram

880
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 1: for like a little cute video that we did. But

881
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, I've been trying to like cut and dancing

882
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: because he's like, I don't dance. But I'm like, every

883
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 1: so often, like we're in the kitchen, I'll start to

884
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 1: like try and sway with him. He's like, what are

885
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,240
Speaker 1: you doing? Does he dance?

886
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:10,840
Speaker 2: No?

887
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 1: No, there he sways listen, and so I kind of

888
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: caught him one time and then he's just like he

889
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: looked around and he's like, camera, dang it, listen if

890
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: usher comes on, your girl over here is not slowing down.

891
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 1: But to choreograph anything is not happening for me. Something

892
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: Derek said too, and that made me think of my grandpa.

893
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've had this moment before. But

894
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 1: he was getting sick and I knew, you know, he

895
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: was just kind of starting his Alzheimer's. And so we

896
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 1: were playing. We liked to play cribbage together and so

897
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: he's the one who taught me, and so it was

898
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: it was like I knew he wasn't going to be

899
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: around the next year, and so when we were sitting

900
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: there playing, he wasn't playing like how Grandpa played, right,

901
00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: because he's the most competitive human being, Like that's where

902
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 1: I get it from. But like he would kind of

903
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: like mess up on some of the pegs, but I

904
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 1: would just kind of like, you know, I would just

905
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: watch like how, you know, he miscounted or how, and

906
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,719
Speaker 1: so I just kind of, like my competitiveness, I let

907
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:14,800
Speaker 1: it go. But it was just in that moment I

908
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 1: just sat there, we just I was like, Grandpa, let's

909
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,479
Speaker 1: let's not let's just we can just sit here. Yeah,

910
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 1: And it was like this silent and we kind of

911
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 1: looked at each other like this knowing that this is

912
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 1: our And I'll never forget that moment because I remember

913
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: sitting at the campfire seeing my grandpa sitting in the

914
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: like screened and porch and going, I need to go

915
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 1: sit with him, and it was the memory that I'll

916
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:39,240
Speaker 1: forever cherished because it was I it was an understanding

917
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: that he's not going to be here next fourth of

918
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:42,879
Speaker 1: July and he won't know, but and you just want

919
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: to bottle up all of it, like you can't touch

920
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,919
Speaker 1: enough and get enough stories. And yeah, like I wish

921
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 1: I would have done that with my last grandpa. But

922
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,359
Speaker 1: I was fourteen years old, right, so I missed things.

923
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: I didn't go to the hospital to go see him

924
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: because I was fourteen and wanting to be with my friends,

925
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,399
Speaker 1: And like that is a regret I feel to this day,

926
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 1: like why didn't I go see my grandpa in the

927
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: hospital and said go to Lisa's house? And I know,

928
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: I'm like what I would have given to like having

929
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 1: that time back with my other grandpa. I know I

930
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: had this the other day. My Grandma's been gone for

931
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: eleven years now. She was my person. I only had

932
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: one grandparent my whole life, and she I just I

933
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 1: asked a million questions. I was alone with her the

934
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: last night she was awake. I flew in and I

935
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: spent the night with her, straight to hospice and like,

936
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: but you know, like there's just like time goes on

937
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I wish I could have like

938
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: mm hmmmmmm, yeah, like different questions, like I want different

939
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: answers I want like I have different questions I want

940
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 1: to ask and I need her for certain things. And yeah,

941
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 1: it's a lot like my first dance when I go

942
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: up to Heaven will be with my grandpa at the

943
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 1: uh so he would take me. We'd go to these

944
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 1: German festivals and like he'd wear later hos and my

945
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: dad being in the band. That's the most Michigan with

946
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 1: October Fast. So I was like, I don't want to

947
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 1: dance now, like that's my first thing I'm gonna do.

948
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 1: And I got to dance them. They kind of have

949
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 1: that dance. But that's a maturity thing too. We can't

950
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,280
Speaker 1: be hard on ourselves. I mean, I thought at thirty

951
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 1: I had asked all the questions I needed to ask.

952
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 1: But there's a couple of phrases that have just come

953
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:22,320
Speaker 1: back to me recently that she said that have for

954
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 1: some reason, I hadn't thought of them and forever, it

955
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 1: feels like, and just recently she used to say, it's

956
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: not a decision to be made in a day about things.

957
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 1: So in my slow my slow down of the post

958
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: grief and all the losses and all the things like

959
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: I've really just been like not a decision to be

960
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: made in a day, just slowing down and seeing things differently.

961
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: But it's crazy how they come back to you, and

962
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 1: those words come back too.

963
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 2: Well.

964
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: On that note, that's it's good. I mean, Cramer, it's

965
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 1: good Church.

966
00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 2: Love you guys.

967
00:47:58,520 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 1: We'll see you next week.

968
00:47:59,440 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 2: Bye.

969
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:01,280
Speaker 3: Seven