WEBVTT - Anonymous Tattletale with Julianne Hough 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:02.759 Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:03.040 Hi. 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.080 We're in my new home. Finally we're set. We're recording 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:08.959 our podcast in my new home. I have a podcast room. 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:12.440 Doug is here, passed out on the ground. I want 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:13.960 him to sit on the couch next to me, but 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.000 he refused. He's not like that. 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:18.480 He's not He's a follower, but he's not a cling 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:20.360 a follower. You know what I was really shocked by. 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:22.360 Yesterday he like brought me his little toy and I 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:24.560 tossed it and he just bounced around after it. 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:27.840 I know, in the morning, it's like he's at Kangaroo. 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.800 He jumps around, up and down and. 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:32.559 You don't hear him. The other night, I woke up. 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:35.720 I sleep with eye shades on, and I rolled over 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:38.519 and I felt this hot breath on my face and 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:40.320 I was like, wait a second, No one's supposed to 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:43.319 be in my bed tonight. And I lifted my eye 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:46.239 shades and he was staring straight at me in the 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:48.840 middle of the night. And he's so dark it's hard 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:51.400 to even see him, but his eyes I could see 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.400 them stare and it was so creepy, like a lover 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:57.040 staring at you while you're sleeping. 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:59.319 I've got men doing that, and I'm like, pull it. 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.000 Don't fuckings stare at me. We'll sleep in you weirdo. 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:04.320 Even with Doug, who you absolutely love, it's still a 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:04.920 little weird. 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:06.520 I know, I love him, and I love that he 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:08.160 doesn't want to sleep with me, Like he comes up 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:09.920 to say good night and then he leaves and then 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.440 some but he's so soft and agile that he will 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:14.199 come up on the bed and just you don't. 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:15.360 Even know he's there, and all of a sudden you 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:15.760 turn around. 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.880 You're like, oh, hello, Doug, Oh Doug. Well, do you 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:19.880 have any shows coming up? 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.880 Yes, we added we're adding a third Montclair show to 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.400 New Jersey because the first two shows are sold out. 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.880 And first of all, the Santa Barbara Bowl is August seventeenth. 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:32.160 Then I have Saratoga, then I have Highland, California. My 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:35.600 first date in Vegas is September first. I'm coming to 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:40.160 Foxwood Casinos in Connecticut on September seventh. 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:42.200 I'm coming to Portland, Maine. 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:45.000 On September sixth, And you can go to Chelsea Handler 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:46.720 dot com because I have dates throughout the rest of 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:48.920 the year and all my Vegas dates are up, so 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.160 I'm gonna be in Vegas starting my residency on the 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:54.360 first of September, and then the next date is November second, 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:57.160 and then the next Vegas state is November thirtieth. So 0:01:57.200 --> 0:01:59.600 these are all big holidays, so get your tickets for that. 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.760 And oh yeah, and we just added something. We added 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:05.560 a casino date because you know how much I love 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:06.160 to gamble. 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:07.400 Let's see where that is. 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:12.920 Oh, Carlton, Minnesota. Everybody the Black Bear Casino Resort Friday, 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:14.239 October eighteenth. 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:16.600 I will be there. That just went on sale. So yeah, 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:20.840 get your tickets for that. Our guest today is an actress, dancer, singer, entrepreneur, 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:24.160 founder of dance and fitness program Kinergy, and she's also 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:28.080 now and author. Her new novel Everything We Never Knew, 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:32.079 is out this week. Please welcome. Julianne Huff. Oh, hello, 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:37.400 sweet cheeks. Hello, how are you? I'm great? 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.360 But your kitchen looks so I love that color and 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:41.000 that tile. 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:41.800 I love that. 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:45.120 I just five seconds ago was like, oh does the 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:46.160 book look good there? 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:47.160 Do I need to put this? 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:51.920 You know, let me write my book front and center. Julianne, 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:56.560 This is Catherine I, my co host producer. I'm always 0:02:56.639 --> 0:03:01.440 impressed when any celebrity who has I've never written a 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:05.560 novel writes a novel. I'm blown away by the balls 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.080 that it takes to write a novel. 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:08.080 Thank you. 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.239 I don't know if you noticed this, though I did 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:13.640 actually put my my ghost writer on the cover with me. 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:16.400 Well, yes, I did notice that. I did read the book. 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:18.480 I read, I saw that you had a co writer. 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:21.359 But still, it takes a lot of balls to write 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.720 a novel out of left field, So talk to us 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:24.240 about it. 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:24.640 Thank you. 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:28.919 Because I also suspect that this is partially I don't 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:32.959 want to say autobiographical, but adjacent to autobiographical. I'm sure 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.280 there are nuggets in there that mimic your real personal experience. 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:40.320 Absolutely, I mean it is. I think somebody called it factional, 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:43.880 where it's like it's obviously fictional, but it is clearly 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:47.000 pulled straight from my life. Yeah, you know, I think 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:50.600 over the last probably six seven years, I've gone through 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:54.000 this really kind of transformative time in my life where 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:56.520 a lot of the systems that I put into place 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:00.360 to protect myself over the last thirty plus years really 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:05.800 started unraveling when I started doing some inner child therapy 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:09.440 and work on myself and everything that I thought was 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:13.080 here to kind of be this safe thing all start unraveling. 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:15.800 And while that was happening, I was like, you know, 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:18.839 I want to be able to share my story, but 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.400 I also am kind of at that stage in my 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:22.800 life where I'm like, I don't want to give all 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:27.800 my personal details away anymore. Like I was so oversharing 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:29.800 and so much that I did that, I was like, 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:31.680 you know, I think, I think I want to do 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.320 it this way. Also, I am a storyteller, whether it's 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:38.920 through dance or music or acting. I love storytelling. And 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:43.840 there's something so amazing about transporting to another world where 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:47.279 it doesn't feel so intimidating or vulnerable. You can actually 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:50.760 create an entire world that you feel you know it 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.680 works for you. So that's that's why I decided to 0:04:53.680 --> 0:05:00.280 write a fiction novel versus here's all my stuff, Welcome. 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:00.120 To my life. 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:04.120 I know exactly what you're talking about going to I 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:05.680 should start writing novels too. 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:07.919 That would be a that would be quite a shroud. 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:09.680 People would be like, we're onto you. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.160 First of all, your transformation in the past five six 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:14.480 years however long it's been, is visible. 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:16.840 You've documented it. On Instagram. You talk a lot. 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:20.720 About your spirituality, your dance. I know you started your 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:24.320 dance program Kinergy, which has been huge for you, and 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:26.960 a lot of the book and you in person, I 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:30.359 know focus on the four Elements, and I wanted to 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:32.520 talk about that for our listeners who are not up 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:34.640 to speed on the four Elements or may look at 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.039 it and be like, Okay, that's a little bit too 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:38.200 hokey or. 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:39.560 Too woo wooh. 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:43.000 Yeah, I think it's important to explain what they are 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:44.440 and how they impact. 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:46.000 Us all absolutely well. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.080 I mean I feel like one you've you've dabbled in 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.680 some plant medicine and stuff like that and documented it. 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:54.839 I think there's a lot of things that I've taken 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:59.160 from different modalities and practices, whether it be like shamanism 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:02.960 and the elements for tai Chi and chigong, and like 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:06.520 Eastern sides of philosophy and really try to put it 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:09.560 into k Energy, which is my dance modality that is 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:14.240 a somatic movement therapy basically. And so with all these 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.719 modalities that I feel like have been tools in helping 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.800 me connect to myself and a need and even deeper way. 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.080 And when I say connect to myself, I mean, actually 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:26.920 trusting myself. The elements were probably the one that resonated 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:29.120 with me the most. And I think, you know, we 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:31.599 are made up of the elements. We are in nature 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.080 by nature, and so the fact is when we can 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:38.719 actually visualize and connect energetically to this place, we have 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:42.599 so much wisdom within us and the nature of the 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:46.080 elements are also there and so for us to tap 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:47.520 into that, I mean. 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:49.159 This is where the wu wu comes in. 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:51.880 But like energy is in everything, I mean it is 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:55.080 in the plants, everything is alive, and so tapping into 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:57.960 what's around us and the resources that are around us, 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:01.360 ancient that's been here a way longer than we have, 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:05.000 and just the wisdom I mean, water holds memory, all. 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:05.840 Sorts of things like that. 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:10.119 So being able to connect to those elements and also 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:12.440 within ourselves, I mean that's where I found a lot 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.440 of my trust in my knowing and my discernment and 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:18.840 who I am. And you know, for years, I've given 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.840 my power away to so many other people and got 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:24.520 burned along the way. So I'm like, I really need 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.280 to learn how to trust myself. And that's why the 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:28.200 elements have been so. 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:30.960 Powerful for me, and what are the four elements. 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:35.520 Oh, yes, air, fire, water, earth, And then if you 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:37.640 want to talk about the fifth element, which is either 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:39.240 it's a combination of all. 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:40.280 Yeah. 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:42.480 I like what you're saying about because everyone has a 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:44.640 different connection to all of those things. And whether it's 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:46.960 a deep connection or it's something that you just kind 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:49.520 of you know, think is around and it doesn't impact 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:51.840 you at all, then it's a little bit you haven't 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.920 developed your relationship with those things. Like I'm a pisce, 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:56.960 so people like, oh, you love the water, I actually 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.280 do love the water, Like the water is so healing 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:01.520 and so er for me, Like I always want to 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:03.440 be bywater, even if I'm not in it, I need 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:04.240 to be looking at it. 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.320 You know, all of those things. But there are deeper 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:08.960 connections that all of us have to all of these things, 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:10.960 whether it is fire, whether it is air. 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.560 But more importantly, what you just said, I think is 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:17.200 really interesting about wisdom and that we have so much 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:22.280 wisdom within us that we've carried intergenerationally from our ancestors 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:25.720 and from human beings that you know, the conversation just 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:28.360 feels like in our modern life, it feels like it 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:31.840 just started like ten or fifteen years ago. I'm sure 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.120 there are there are, and I know there are huge 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:36.480 groups of people and different parts of the world that 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.280 are focused on this and this relationship we have with 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:43.040 these elements. But in like LA modern society, people are 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:46.280 just like, Okay, first it was astrology, and then it 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:49.239 was like, Okay, now we're deeper. We're talking about meditation 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:52.120 and healing and energy work and all of those things. 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:54.920 And people think LA is like kind of a woo 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:57.640 woo place if you don't live here. Yeah, we're all 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:00.520 in therapy and that we're all basket cases. But I 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:03.600 would argue that there is so much wisdom that we 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:07.040 have within us that we aren't tapping into because we 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:09.240 don't even believe that it's there. We think this is 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:12.000 our first time on Earth. We don't know very much. 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:15.839 All we know is what we've learned, but it's inexplicable the. 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:18.680 Things that we do know when we know them. 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.120 Yeah, you don't know what you don't know until you 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:21.760 know it. 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:25.360 And I think there has to be a level of curiosity, 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.560 and you don't get to that level of curiosity unless 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:30.080 either an event. 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.880 Has occurred where you're like, WHOA, I need. 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.560 To shift something, or I don't know, there's just a 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:38.640 there's a hunger and a drive for more. 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:39.560 I don't know. 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.800 I think that that is what changed and transformed my 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:46.920 life was I had an experience that happened that opened 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:50.160 my eyes, which is basically how you know she's very 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:53.280 supernatural and had all these experiences happen. I had very 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:55.680 similar ones happen, and I was like, what the if 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:57.760 I am going insane? 0:09:57.960 --> 0:09:59.480 Maybe this is a psychotic breed. 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:04.560 But like I'm seeing colors, I'm hearing, you know, things, 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:08.400 I'm intuiting things that there's no way I would have 0:10:08.480 --> 0:10:11.560 had this awareness of. But I'm having like this oneness 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:14.640 experience with someone else and I don't even know this person. 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.840 And when I say hear things, I'm not like hearing voices, 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:22.240 but you know, like synesthesia where it's like you actually, 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:27.320 you know, Beethoven he heard color. I don't know that 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:28.800 was exactly correct, but like. 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:31.000 It was, I slept. I slept with Beethoven, and it 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:32.920 is thank you, thank. 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:33.080 You for that. 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.960 But for me, it's like I was hearing things, but 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:39.280 it was like but it was a knowing and a feeling, 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:41.960 and so those things were starting to happen, and I 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:46.199 was like what is happening here? And instead of freaking 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:49.880 out getting scared, I just got curious and I started 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:53.800 like researching and learning and diving into things and really 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:57.600 tried to just, i don't know, embrace it rather than 0:10:57.800 --> 0:10:58.600 be scared of it. 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:02.080 Can you give us an example of something that you experienced. 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:06.240 Yeah, absolutely so. I was actually at this retreat seminar 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:08.720 and there was a bunch of us there, and I 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:13.440 remember being in this deep meditation and I didn't know 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:16.360 a lot of the people there, but I closed my 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:18.960 eyes and I'm starting to go, you know, connect and 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.360 go into that state. And then all of a sudden, 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:24.840 I was like, ooh, I feel I feel like I'm 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:30.040 in Europe. I smell mold and it's musty. I feel 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:33.000 very young right now. I feel like I'm like three 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:36.959 or five years old, somewhere around that era or that age. 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:42.480 And my hair feels wet and I'm sitting here being 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.160 like this is so strange, but like this doesn't feel 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:47.520 like mine. And then all of a sudden, I was 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:51.520 like overwhelmed with this sense of abandonment by my father, 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:54.600 and I was like, this is I don't this doesn't 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.080 feel like me, This doesn't feel like my stuff, but 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.680 I'm going with it. And then all of a sudden, 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:02.160 I had this overwhelming feeling to the point where like 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.640 my arms went back and my chest opened up, and 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:09.680 I was like, I feel so loved. And anyway the 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:13.120 meditation finishes, I was like, that was strange, and I 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:16.160 just looked at this woman and I was like, I 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:19.439 feel like that was her experience. So I walked over 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.320 to her and I said, Hey, I know you don't 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.280 know me, but would you be open to sharing what 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:27.120 your experience was in that meditation? She goes, it was 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:30.960 actually really profound. I had this memory come up when 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:33.360 I was a little girl and my family we were 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:36.680 living in Copenhagen, and I had this memory. My mom 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:40.520 was at the hospital and my dad was rushing to 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:42.960 get me ready to go, and my hair was wet 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.360 and he was blow drying my hair. I'll never forget it. 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:48.520 And we rushed to the hospital and then he just 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:52.320 left me. He left me in the waiting room. And 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:55.800 not only did I feel so alone in that moment, 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:59.000 but my brother was born and he has autism, and 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.280 so my whole life since my brother was born, I 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.280 felt like my parents just forgot about me, and that 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.600 they just didn't love me. She goes, and then the 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:11.240 weirdest thing happened. My arms went back and my heart 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.200 opened up, and I just felt this immense amount of 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:17.360 love that like my family and my dad loved me. 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:19.760 I was like, what the fuck? 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:25.440 So clearly I wasn't experiencing all the details that she 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:29.360 went through, but I was having those heightened senses, and 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:32.720 I was like, what that is very strange. 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:35.760 Or of someone else's experience, which is strange. 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.240 Yeah, from someone else's experience. And this was not plant medicine, 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.840 this was nothing. This was just meditation. And then you 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:44.400 know other experiences where I'd be sitting with somebody and 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.440 we have an a normal conversation and I'd be like, 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:48.600 did you have a dog at twelve that was black 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:51.520 and white? And they'd be like, oh, my gosh, yes, 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:55.160 And then it would spawn into a conversation about how, 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:59.120 you know, her dad ended up losing this dog and 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.640 when she was twelve years old, and it was like 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:04.480 a really painful experience that they had just moved and 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.400 like they got a new dog, but it wasn't that 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:10.199 dog anyway, It was this whole experience. So these things 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:13.440 were starting to happen. I also, you know, was starting 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.640 to see some color around people, and again it kind 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.720 of like freaked me out a little bit, and then 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.440 I just dove into it and thought I'd get curious. 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.800 Yeah, So the main character in the book Everything We 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:30.200 Never Knew does see auras, sees people's auras, and so 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.320 that is something that I can relate to that. And 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:35.080 I don't know if I can relate to the color 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.080 seeing colors, because I know I've spoken to mediums or 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:41.280 psychics or anything of that ilk that have said, Okay, 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:42.800 this is the color, this is your aura. 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:44.800 It's always green or blue or something. 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:48.520 But there's definitely like I can you know when I 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:49.680 see somebody. 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:51.760 You have a vibe, right, you have a vibe right away. 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.840 That's that synesthesia thing where it's like I'm feeling even 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.240 I can feel this color even though I'm not seeing it. 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:02.920 And so you experienced that a lot. Yes, So you're intuitive. 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:04.760 Do you think you're an into it or like, do 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.400 you think you're slightly psychic? 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:08.160 Like how would you categorize it? 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:12.200 So I think that's why this book was really important 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:15.480 for me, because I'm like, this was an activation of 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:20.240 some sort and you know there were very powerful moments. 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:23.640 I haven't had a lot of those moments consistently, but 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:25.960 I've had these experiences and I think that there was 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:29.760 an activation that happened. But sometimes when it just gets 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.160 stuck in your lower chakras, you can pop into these 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:36.400 mystical experiences, but it's not actually regulated and consistent. But 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:41.200 the idea is you have these moments of inspiration or 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:46.240 mysticism and certain things, but unless you really hone it 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:49.440 and really understand it and actually have a lot of 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:54.120 integrity with it, there is many ways people can into 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:57.520 it things and be connected. But again that integrity is 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.280 so important. So as this was happening and I wanted 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.720 to share this, I really wanted to like share these 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:07.240 experiences and know that I believe that everybody has these 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:11.520 gifts and everybody has access to it. But there are 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:16.280 so many layers of conditions and patterns and belief systems 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:19.720 and protective mechanisms and all these things that we've built 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.200 up over our entire lives to survive. 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:25.960 Well, mostly ego too. I mean that's the first enemy 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:27.760 against any of this, right. 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:31.160 Yeah, And obviously, like ego is in the way that 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:33.640 we see it is it's a terrible thing. Like we 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:35.280 don't want ego, but ego is going to be with 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:36.920 us the rest of our lives, so you better get 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:40.320 to know it and have a relationship with it. Otherwise again, 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:42.280 it's going to have the power over you if you know, 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:44.320 if you're just trying to avoid it. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.240 So, you know, finding all of. 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:51.000 Those things, I was like, this is within all of us, 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:55.560 and so how do I make this like a really fun, exciting, joyful, 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:59.120 transformational experience for people to dive into. It doesn't feel 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.960 so intimidated as to reading like a self help book 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:07.320 or like a book on spirituality, you know, And like 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:09.359 I was like, I just want it to be like 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:12.399 a fun story where people can, like I don't know, 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:16.919 have these experiences that feel heightened. So it feels like 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:21.359 it's otherworldly but grounded in the emotions and the experiences 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.080 that we universally feel. 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:26.040 The character in your book, too, is an ex Mormon, 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:28.280 and I know I think you are ex Mormon, right 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:29.320 you still Mormon? 0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:31.720 Are you like officially not Mormon or yeah? 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.720 I don't think I like officially like denounced it. 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:36.080 I just stopped going. 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:39.160 But you know, my dad is still active in the church. 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:40.920 And none of my other siblings or my. 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:41.520 Mom are not. 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.320 And who do you think, like so far in your 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:46.760 life has been your greatest teacher. 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:48.040 My greatest teacher. 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:51.720 I think my family system so like my like, I'm 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:52.560 I'm an observer. 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:53.320 I watch. 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:54.600 I'm the baby of the family. 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.080 You're the youngest of five, right, youngest of five? 0:17:57.200 --> 0:18:00.719 Yeah, so you know, like we're cut from the same cloth. 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:04.080 We have a lot of the same you know, wounds 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:06.919 and stuff. So I'm like, I'm watching how my siblings 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.919 behave or react to things, or I see my mom. 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:12.520 In fact, I had this conversation with her back in 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:16.880 twenty seventeen when for years I was like, my mom 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:19.080 is so sensitive and she cries at everything, and like, 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:22.239 you know, like I had this negative association with her. 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:23.439 I didn't think she was strong. 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:27.000 So I for a long time looked down at my 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:31.480 mom because I was like, she's hyper sensitive, she's emotional, 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:34.119 she's she was very manic when I was a kid 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:38.359 in her expressions and it was very unstable in a 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:41.679 way of like not feeling like consistent. And so I 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:44.120 remember having this conversation with her. I was like, Mom, 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:47.240 I was like, I'm so sorry, Like I totally judged 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.359 you because it was the thing that like affected me. 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:53.840 But like, I realize I am actually more like you 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:56.960 than I want to admit. And and the minute I 0:18:57.040 --> 0:19:00.359 actually like saw her not the things that I didn't 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.720 love about her, but like the things that were challenging 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:06.200 for her, and I saw her for that and recognize 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.840 that that exists in me. Also, I ended up falling 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:11.479