Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine.
Speaker 2: Oh hello, Chelsea.
Speaker 3: Say you're at the end of November, which means it's
Speaker 3: almost December.
Speaker 2: Has this your gone so fast for you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: When I'm touring, things go by pretty quickly.
Speaker 5: I'm sure. Do you just like blinking you are home
Speaker 5: again after months?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I mean it's just been so crazy. Vanessa, the woman
Speaker 3: who opens for me, I mean, I say woman, but
Speaker 3: she's more of a baby.
Speaker 1: I consider her to be my baby.
Speaker 3: I mean, she's she says she's thirty eight, but whatever,
Speaker 3: I don't believe it. That means I had her when
Speaker 3: I was twelve. No, thirty eight, I had her when
Speaker 3: I was ten. It must have been rough.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 3: She's become ridiculous on tour and her behavior is astonishing.
Speaker 1: So I mean, I just don't even.
Speaker 2: Do you have Do you have receipts? Do you have examples?
Speaker 3: I have a lot of video footage of her shoplifting
Speaker 3: and out of the green room.
Speaker 1: She takes stuff from the green room. She goes grocery shopping.
Speaker 3: I mean it's not really shoplifting, but it's just helping herself.
Speaker 3: She goes through the green room and literally does her
Speaker 3: grocery shopping through the green room, Like she's like, oh,
Speaker 3: here's an orange and apple.
Speaker 1: There's like a brick of cheddar and.
Speaker 3: Then she just puts it in her purse and then
Speaker 3: like I'll be like, hey, do you have an edible?
Speaker 3: And she's like takes out an orange, an apple, a banana,
Speaker 3: she had like bags and nuts. I'm like, are you
Speaker 3: are you treating this like a United flight? Like ridiculous?
Speaker 3: And I mean we have had a really ridiculous time.
Speaker 3: And she's very hard not to like cuddle and tickle,
Speaker 3: you know that, because she's just so adorable. But I
Speaker 3: have to keep my hands off of her because she's
Speaker 3: she's going to claim allegations against workplace.
Speaker 2: Workplace.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I know. I'm not good at that stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm just too affectionate.
Speaker 5: So our guest today does stand up, but she didn't
Speaker 5: always do stand up, and she talked about like the
Speaker 5: first time she did stand up, she was like, oh wait,
Speaker 5: this is totally for me. Did you feel that way
Speaker 5: when you started or no?
Speaker 3: So I was just like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 3: gonna give me so much diarrhea, Like it was so
Speaker 3: nerve wrecking and just I just couldn't. Yeah, stand up
Speaker 3: is scary Yeah, I mean, I'm so grateful I'm at
Speaker 3: a place where I feel so in control of what
Speaker 3: I'm doing and I know how to handle myself. But
Speaker 3: stand up in the begin is very scary when people
Speaker 3: like people are a dick. There are stand ups who
Speaker 3: are addicted to being on stage and that can not
Speaker 3: get off stage, and then there are stand ups who
Speaker 3: are just like, you know, I'm not like that.
Speaker 1: I'm not like I have to.
Speaker 3: Be on stage for two hours or I have to
Speaker 3: go do five sets when I have a week off.
Speaker 1: I feel nothing like that. Yeah, but when I am
Speaker 1: on stage.
Speaker 3: I love it and I love, you know, telling a
Speaker 3: story from beginning to end, which is basically what my
Speaker 3: stand up is storytelling. Yeah, I mean I loved it,
Speaker 3: but I was it was so scary that the scary
Speaker 3: kind of was commensurate to the joy.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 5: I feel like, especially for people who are starting out,
Speaker 5: like you go into a room where stand up is
Speaker 5: being performed, and like it's almost like the audience is
Speaker 5: like daring you to fail, you know, in small rooms
Speaker 5: or with starting comedians.
Speaker 3: I feel like it must be so difficult to start
Speaker 3: it is, But a good thing for everyone to remember
Speaker 3: is if you're if you're doing that. And this applies
Speaker 3: to anything, like when you have a fucking great attitude
Speaker 3: and you get on stage and you're beaming, it is
Speaker 3: infectious to the audience. So if you have a great
Speaker 3: attitude and you're feeling positive and you're happy, you're gonna
Speaker 3: do great. Everything's gonna go great, because even if you
Speaker 3: tell a joke that bombs, your disposition will be so
Speaker 3: fun and happy that it doesn't matter, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. You can laugh with the audience about not
Speaker 3: getting laughs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Chelsea. Should we get to our guest.
Speaker 3: You can find our guest today on her podcast, Burner
Speaker 3: Phone and Giggly Squad. Tickets for her comedy tour are
Speaker 3: available at Hannahburner dot com. Please welcome comedian, podcast host
Speaker 3: and digital creator Hannah Burner. Okay, Hannah, we both have
Speaker 3: the same publicists, so we have like three publicists that
Speaker 3: are on there.
Speaker 4: Don't say anything, so we're not allowed to say anything today.
Speaker 3: And I told them, like, I mean, they must just
Speaker 3: be listening to this to just you know, not have
Speaker 3: to do anything for the.
Speaker 1: Hour, because well they do, they do.
Speaker 3: I love this is my first of all my pr
Speaker 3: team and your PR team are the best PR teams.
Speaker 4: No, they're for the girls.
Speaker 1: I have never been.
Speaker 3: I've been through so many publicists in this town, and
Speaker 3: you know, I do have a difficult personality, but this
Speaker 3: is the best publicity team I've ever worked.
Speaker 4: You're a self aware of queen.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: They said good things about you because I wanted the tea.
Speaker 4: I was like, Chelsea, is she a monster? They were like,
Speaker 4: we're obsessed with her. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I'm a good girl.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's good.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I take care of my people, and my people
Speaker 1: take care of me.
Speaker 4: So I also have to tell you we've met before.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, no, all the time.
Speaker 4: No, but it's not an embarrassing thing, like you missed
Speaker 4: me right after college years ago.
Speaker 1: How old are you.
Speaker 4: I'm thirty two, So ten years ago. So I was
Speaker 4: on the tennis teams. Yeah, they didn't let you take
Speaker 4: too many classes. So after college I was teaching tennis
Speaker 4: that summer in Shelter Island.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh my god, I took a tennis class with you.
Speaker 4: We played doubles together, babe, Andre, So he wasn't there,
Speaker 4: your ex boy toy. I was getting paid by my
Speaker 4: sugar grandpa to play doubles with these older men.
Speaker 1: Sugar Grandpa to Sugar Grandpa. Does that mean you were
Speaker 1: dating him?
Speaker 4: No? But he was giving me too much money to
Speaker 4: play tennis, like for a young twenty two year old.
Speaker 4: It was like two hundred dollars for an hour. Oh
Speaker 4: that was like lawyer money. No, I know, because they
Speaker 4: didn't pay. But anyway, so I had to play doubles
Speaker 4: with these old men and he goes, oh, Chelsea's coming today.
Speaker 4: And I didn't know who you who Chelsea was, and
Speaker 4: you show up and I'm like, oh, as a Chelsea
Speaker 4: Lately fan, I was like, this is an awesome morning
Speaker 4: that I didn't anticipate. And you turn to me and
Speaker 4: you go, let's fucking beat these boys. And I got
Speaker 4: so nervous. I like double faulted and you were like, no,
Speaker 4: it's okay. And then we just demolished them. And then
Speaker 4: I never saw you again, and I was like, Chelsea
Speaker 4: night kicked ass. So that was.
Speaker 1: So good. Right now, I.
Speaker 4: Know tennis is like cool now. It wasn't cool when
Speaker 4: I was a kid.
Speaker 1: No, tennis is cool now, you know.
Speaker 3: Well, pickleball is trying to be cool, but I wish
Speaker 3: pick a ball would just shut the fuck up for
Speaker 3: two seconds.
Speaker 4: A cult.
Speaker 3: Everyone wants to talk about pickleball all the time. It
Speaker 3: is it's cult, Like.
Speaker 4: It's cult that you stop talking to your family. You
Speaker 4: only talk, you only dress in pick a ball outfits.
Speaker 3: And any talk of sports right now, guys, you have
Speaker 3: to know that I had knee surgery and any talk
Speaker 3: of sports is like it hurts my knee because I'm
Speaker 3: so excited. No, I got my fixed so that I
Speaker 3: can ski this week, this week, this winter. I'm an
Speaker 3: avid skier. So I got my knee scoped out, and
Speaker 3: then I went home and I was all hopped up
Speaker 3: on medication and anesthesiology, and I was feeling great. But
Speaker 3: then you wake up and you're like, fuck, I can't
Speaker 3: take all this medicaid. You feel like your body is
Speaker 3: so polluted. Yeah, you just bloated, like from all of
Speaker 3: the fluids they put you. I'm like, cool it with
Speaker 3: the fluid, IV Like, I don't need that much fluid.
Speaker 4: No, you're like an Olympic athlete that needs to be
Speaker 4: ready for her I know, gold season.
Speaker 3: So I had to limp in here like limp biscuits
Speaker 3: and to meet with you.
Speaker 1: But I'm happy that you're here in person, in New
Speaker 1: York City.
Speaker 4: Oh, thank you, This is like such an honor. But
Speaker 4: I also my husband who.
Speaker 1: Brought I can't believe you're married.
Speaker 4: I know it's very off.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah it is.
Speaker 4: He's an older Like.
Speaker 3: Don't strike me as someone who would be married when
Speaker 3: I watch your videos online, which are very funny. By
Speaker 3: the way, thank you're really funny. I like your attitude
Speaker 3: and your.
Speaker 4: I think you paved the way for me. But yeah,
Speaker 4: getting married was not a plan. It happened during the pandemic.
Speaker 4: I'm at an older man. He's very tired, forty seven. Oh,
Speaker 4: and he likes to golf, he likes to ski, he
Speaker 4: likes to chill.
Speaker 3: How did you meet him during the pandemic when you're
Speaker 3: supposed to stay six feet apart from people?
Speaker 4: He dm me because I was in Shelter Island and
Speaker 4: he was in like West Hampton, and he was like,
Speaker 4: do you want to get coffee?
Speaker 1: How did he know you?
Speaker 4: Through the comedy world? But he lived in Ireland. He
Speaker 4: actually small world. He's friends with Ursula Carlson and they
Speaker 4: were working on a script one.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I know last so she's hilarious.
Speaker 1: Oh she's from New Zealand, right.
Speaker 4: She's anyone from New Zealand makes me laugh, but she's
Speaker 4: ridiculous next level. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait till the
Speaker 4: States discovers.
Speaker 1: I know we tried to do a show with her.
Speaker 1: I think I don't.
Speaker 4: Remember what he was on the show with. He was
Speaker 4: like the co writer.
Speaker 1: Oh that's funny. Wow.
Speaker 4: Probably so you dated my husband before? Oh okay, so yeah.
Speaker 4: We we got engaged in like six months and it
Speaker 4: was kind of like, I decenter men from my life.
Speaker 1: You want decenter men, decenterment because in like.
Speaker 4: You don't make any decisions based on men, right, I.
Speaker 3: See, Well, I like that phrasing. I've never heard that before.
Speaker 3: Decenter men.
Speaker 4: I think the gen Z girlies are saying it, but
Speaker 4: I think you really live by that, Like you do.
Speaker 4: What makes you happy brings you joy and if people
Speaker 4: come great and if they don't, who gives a fuck.
Speaker 4: But you're not gonna force or change things.
Speaker 3: Or act or be The word desperate is very uh
Speaker 3: you know when people I find things to be very
Speaker 3: desperate sometimes when people talk when people are searching so
Speaker 3: hard to find someone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a desperation to it.
Speaker 3: And it's like, if you really were happy with yourself
Speaker 3: and you can get to a place where you are really,
Speaker 3: really happy. It's totally fine to want to meet somebody,
Speaker 3: but to have that be like your main objective feels
Speaker 3: like you're missing a piece of the pot.
Speaker 4: Like you betray who you are to make someone like
Speaker 4: you're you know, when you have a full plan of
Speaker 4: like how to run into somebody, like I have a
Speaker 4: full chart. Yeah, I'm like, Okay, he's gonna, you know,
Speaker 4: have to go to the bathroom at this time, and
Speaker 4: I'm gonna run into him. And sometimes you do get
Speaker 4: the guy, and then you're like, fuck, like this isn't me.
Speaker 4: I forced this, and I don't like koam with him?
Speaker 3: Well all so well, that of course, but that's you know, Listen,
Speaker 3: in our twenties, we act like idiots because that's what
Speaker 3: we're supposed to be doing, and you can obsess and
Speaker 3: crave and I mean even sometimes in your thirties. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and a lot of my thirties. It wasn't until my
Speaker 3: forties that I had enough self confidence. And I'm like, wait,
Speaker 3: I don't care if you like me first, that's not
Speaker 3: enough for me to like you back.
Speaker 4: I know, the second you hear someone liked you, I'm like,
Speaker 4: he's like cool, Like you could be a gremlin, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, funny.
Speaker 3: I have an experiment that I've been trying out with
Speaker 3: myself for a while now where I don't even if
Speaker 3: it's non sexual, you know, like just a person or
Speaker 3: another celebrity or a regular person. Just because they dislike
Speaker 3: me doesn't mean I don't like them.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. That's fucking I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: your opinion.
Speaker 3: Of me has nothing to do with me anyway, So
Speaker 3: I could still like you if you don't like me.
Speaker 4: It's like a troll comments and you go, I love
Speaker 4: your sweater. I love your sweater and your profile picture.
Speaker 4: You're gorgeous, You're stunning. But sometimes it also doesn't have
Speaker 4: to do with you. They're projecting their shit. So anyway,
Speaker 4: this guy came along and he was out of time
Speaker 4: in my life. I was very focused on myself, and
Speaker 4: I was like, this is nice. It's nice to have
Speaker 4: a husband in a way, like obviously all not all
Speaker 4: husbands are the same, different ratings per husband, but I
Speaker 4: don't have to stress about dating. It's kind of like, okay, check,
Speaker 4: I have this like partner in crime, and now I
Speaker 4: could focus on myself and he's very like, I'm very
Speaker 4: I'm on the road all the time, Like I've never
Speaker 4: seen him.
Speaker 1: That's right, you're on Twitter.
Speaker 4: I've seen him forever.
Speaker 1: Do you like being on the road.
Speaker 4: I like being on the road because my apartment's a mess.
Speaker 4: So i walk into a hotel room and I'm like
Speaker 4: a monster. I'm like, why did no one clean these tablets? Yeah,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I love living that simple life. I
Speaker 4: also like saying I'm on the road and people leave
Speaker 4: me alone.
Speaker 1: It's the right way to get out of shit.
Speaker 4: I'm just napping, Like I'm napping from two to five
Speaker 4: and then I go on stage.
Speaker 1: I wish I could nap. I can't nap.
Speaker 3: It's a gift, it is. I don't know why I
Speaker 3: don't have that gene. But if I take a nap.
Speaker 3: First of all, if I took a three hour nap,
Speaker 3: I would be dead when I woke up. I get
Speaker 3: up early and I need and I even when I'm tired,
Speaker 3: I just cannot sleep during the day.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what is going on.
Speaker 4: Well, I was telling our PR team, I was like,
Speaker 4: don't put me on anything before like ten am, because
Speaker 4: I'm a big sleeper. I also, I think I deal
Speaker 4: with some depression where like, I mean, I could fall
Speaker 4: asleep anywhere, and so it's almost nice for me to rest.
Speaker 4: But then, yeah, I don't know what state I am in.
Speaker 4: I don't know where I am, but the adrenaline hits
Speaker 4: me when I get on stage. Yeah, but I enjoy
Speaker 4: the road. But I'm also lucky now that I'm like
Speaker 4: I'm doing theaters now where women. I mean, we could
Speaker 4: talk forever about this, but like, being a woman on
Speaker 4: the road is difficult. It's difficult being alone, especially if
Speaker 4: you like can't afford ubers or you're just you put
Speaker 4: in a lot of awkward situations that aren't ideal.
Speaker 1: Can you not afford ubers?
Speaker 4: No? I can.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's the definitely.
Speaker 4: But I'm saying back in the day, like girls starting
Speaker 4: in comedy.
Speaker 1: It's unsafe. It is unsafe. It is unsafe. I never drew.
Speaker 3: I bet we didn't even have ubers when I started.
Speaker 3: I just drove myself everywhere.
Speaker 4: So I'm from New York City, so I don't even
Speaker 4: have a license. I couldn't have made it in comedy
Speaker 4: ten years ago because I don't have a like I
Speaker 4: would have like walked on the highway to my gigs.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well can't you take the train or the subway?
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, yeah, that's difficult.
Speaker 4: A lot of admin planning.
Speaker 1: Oh listen, all I do is admin all day long.
Speaker 1: That's what I do. In my hotel that I stay
Speaker 1: in New York.
Speaker 3: They have a club lounge and I always tell my
Speaker 3: assistant from five to seven, which is happy hour, I'm like,
Speaker 3: I have to go upstairs into admin.
Speaker 4: No, the amount of planes and hotels and you mess
Speaker 4: up one thing, it's your name on the bill.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: So it's a miracle. We made it here today.
Speaker 3: It is a miracle, thank God, especially with her small miracles.
Speaker 1: Once. Yeah, my JANKI need that. I'm rapping right now.
Speaker 3: It looks like I'm masturbating under the table, but I'm
Speaker 3: just soothing myself.
Speaker 1: I'm self soothing.
Speaker 4: But I want to stay with this. I love that
Speaker 4: with this older man. He loves skiing and I'm an athlete.
Speaker 4: But I never skied before.
Speaker 1: You never skied.
Speaker 4: I never. I wasn't allowed to gouse a tennis.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 4: My parents would be like, God forbid you get injured.
Speaker 4: You can't whatever it is.
Speaker 3: I'm Renee Stubs you mentioned when they came in. Okay,
Speaker 3: let's talk about Renee Stubs because she's a friend of mine.
Speaker 3: Is she a friend of your? She makes her way
Speaker 3: around Manhattan in a way I've never seen. I have
Speaker 3: had more people come out to me going, I know
Speaker 3: you're friends with dinner Rene Stubs. I'm like, what is
Speaker 3: Renee Stubs walking around with a fucking sign that says
Speaker 3: I'm friends with Chelsea?
Speaker 4: Remember, Renee Stubbs is part of I call it the
Speaker 4: power lesbian community of Nity. Yes, and I'm trying to
Speaker 4: rub shoulders with that. I think the lesbians, I think
Speaker 4: they push the door down for the straits because they
Speaker 4: don't give a fuck what most what men think, right,
Speaker 4: and they just do it. So I was talking to
Speaker 4: her on her tennis show. She's like, all comedian, I know,
Speaker 4: Chelsea Handler and I was like, oh yeah, I've heard
Speaker 4: of her as a comic and I messaged it this morning.
Speaker 4: I was like any advice, and she's like, you know,
Speaker 4: in her Australian accent over text, just be yourself, you know,
Speaker 4: treat her like your sister. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 4: I don't know what that means thank you.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. I'm seeing that.
Speaker 3: I'm seeing Renee that big lesbian tomorrow night for dinner.
Speaker 4: There's drama in the lesbian world time.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, there's listen. The lesbians are taking me.
Speaker 3: They are trying to capture me in TikTok?
Speaker 4: Are you on it now?
Speaker 1: What's going on? Lesbian TikTok?
Speaker 4: Sorts of drama?
Speaker 3: I can't go online right now, it's too upsetting. I
Speaker 3: can't look at social media right now.
Speaker 4: I know I'm pretending the lesbian dramas like your world episthetic.
Speaker 4: That's the only thing that's going on, right. You have
Speaker 4: to distract yourself.
Speaker 3: So you how long into dating your husband did you
Speaker 3: realize that you were going to marry him?
Speaker 1: You were like, I'm in love with you.
Speaker 4: Good question.
Speaker 1: Do you think he would have married him had it
Speaker 1: not been for COVID?
Speaker 4: Great question? All valid questions, Yeah questions. He should be
Speaker 4: asking the questions. And now I'm regretting not thinking about No.
Speaker 4: I my parents got engaged in four months, so I
Speaker 4: had this like fake love story in my head that
Speaker 4: like that's how it's going to be, Like if I
Speaker 4: was with a guy for a year. I'm like, this
Speaker 4: isn't magical. He's not the one, right, So during honestly
Speaker 4: early on he kind of was like, yeah, I want
Speaker 4: to marry you. I think he was and a first
Speaker 4: time my classic. He's a comedian, so I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's probably a comedian.
Speaker 1: Narcissist and I'd be irish.
Speaker 4: Or he grew up in Queens and then he lived
Speaker 4: in Ireland since he was fourteen. Okay, so he became
Speaker 4: a big comedian in Ireland. Oh but now he's back
Speaker 4: because of COVID. And it was kind of this, like,
Speaker 4: we'll see I've never dated an older guy, could be
Speaker 4: like a creepy uncle, Like you never know.
Speaker 1: Uncle Gary. That's every creepy uncle is Gary.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you change it to Gary even if it's not.
Speaker 3: Gary's not a hot name. I named a dog Gary
Speaker 3: and I had to return him.
Speaker 4: So yeah, we hit it off and I got engaged
Speaker 4: in six months, but it was COVID time, so I
Speaker 4: say it's dog years e time seven. And to be
Speaker 4: perfectly blunt, you know, he was at a time in
Speaker 4: his life where like he wasn't touring anymore, but now
Speaker 4: like he just enables me. He literally said, like, I
Speaker 4: want to chill. I don't care about the fame or
Speaker 4: the money, like I'm tired. I just you can go work.
Speaker 4: And I was like that's a dream. Well yeah, like yeah,
Speaker 4: it's better than sex. Tell me that every night.
Speaker 1: And do you guys have a lot of sex?
Speaker 4: We do? That's good because I think we're not we're
Speaker 4: not roommates. We don't see each other that all.
Speaker 3: I think that's the key ingredient for all relationships is
Speaker 3: you can't see each other.
Speaker 1: I have to.
Speaker 3: I just had to inject myself in my thigh this
Speaker 3: morning with something that is going to help with my
Speaker 3: sex drive because I have no desire to fuck anyone.
Speaker 1: And I've been keeping going.
Speaker 3: I keep going on these kind of quasi dates or
Speaker 3: like going out with guys trying to drum up some
Speaker 3: business and then I'm like looking at them, going I
Speaker 3: just want to be in my bed, like I don't
Speaker 3: even want to fuck you, and.
Speaker 1: I'm like something's wrong with me.
Speaker 3: And I can't take testosterone because my hair thinned the
Speaker 3: last time I took that. And it's not like I'm
Speaker 3: gonna be bald and horny, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 3: what's the point of that, I can go about ladder.
Speaker 4: So I was like, forget me.
Speaker 3: So I went to my yeah and get back me.
Speaker 3: So I went to my anti aging doctor and I
Speaker 3: was like, listen, you got to give me something for
Speaker 3: sex drive because I don't think I have it. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I've tried to have sex like three times.
Speaker 4: Because you were really horny when you were younger.
Speaker 3: Well, no, not horny, but like I could get excited.
Speaker 1: I'm not.
Speaker 3: I've never been boy crazy. That's not my personality. But
Speaker 3: I do love that about you. But also it's like, wait,
Speaker 3: why do we have so much pressure? Like you know,
Speaker 3: if I go a few months without having sex, I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh shit, I better have sex. And it's like why
Speaker 3: why do I need to have sex? But apparently I
Speaker 3: think I do. So anyway, I injected myself this morning
Speaker 3: with some thiga emocin or I don't know what the
Speaker 3: fuck it's called, and we'll see if that drums up
Speaker 3: any sexual feelings for me, because.
Speaker 4: Well, people don't talk about how sex is oftentimes a
Speaker 4: bad experience, especial when it's like a new guy or something.
Speaker 4: It's weird, and I'm like, I my night would have
Speaker 4: been better without it. I think it's for us. And
Speaker 4: I always said I didn't want to be with a
Speaker 4: comic because I've moved with a comic before and it
Speaker 4: wasn't great. But with him, I was. We really like
Speaker 4: he I respect him mentally, which is crazy to think,
Speaker 4: but like it's like you need to find someone that
Speaker 4: their love language is laughter with you and you feel
Speaker 4: excited about like riffing with them, and that's like your foreplay.
Speaker 4: That's the hotness. Like we talk on the phone a lot,
Speaker 4: that's like our thing. Yeah, it's not like, oh I
Speaker 4: need a fuck you now, it's like right talking, we
Speaker 4: just talk. We don't we don't shut up.
Speaker 1: And does he work now at all?
Speaker 4: He's working. He's still doing comedy and stuff. We have
Speaker 4: podcasts together burner phone.
Speaker 1: Oh that's together with you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so he's good. But I just I just want
Speaker 4: him to like be confident enough to like let me
Speaker 4: do my thing and support me. And he's he is.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: That's important because a lot of men come across as
Speaker 3: like they are confident or they see are seemingly confident,
Speaker 3: and then when it comes down to it, they're fucking paranoid.
Speaker 1: They're jealous. They're not confident.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then you're like, I just want to love you,
Speaker 4: and they're acting weird towards you, and then you realize
Speaker 4: you have to baby them and be like, I'm so
Speaker 4: proud of you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The distance is very important for any independent woman because
Speaker 3: it is so annoying to have to spend every single
Speaker 3: second with somebody. And I also don't appreciate having to
Speaker 3: FaceTime with people on ohime when you're in a relationship,
Speaker 3: because holding up the fucking phone while you're talking, it's like,
Speaker 3: wait a second, this is like two exercise you're going to.
Speaker 3: I could talk to you, but I need the lights
Speaker 3: off and I want to be in bedlining down, you know,
Speaker 3: with my AirPods in or whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't need to be looking at you.
Speaker 4: Also, I'm staring at myself the whole time.
Speaker 1: Exactly.
Speaker 4: I want to be able to scroll Instagram while.
Speaker 1: Talking, exactly Exactly.
Speaker 3: I had a friend once, not a boyfriend, this is
Speaker 3: a friend friend, And anytime I would be on the phone,
Speaker 3: reading an email or on social media or anything while
Speaker 3: I was on the phone, he could be talking and
Speaker 3: he'd go, what are you reading?
Speaker 4: And on my business?
Speaker 3: Why do you know that I'm reading something? Like, how
Speaker 3: can you tell? He's like, I can tell by the
Speaker 3: way you're breathing.
Speaker 4: Like your eyes are going left right, Like, well, that
Speaker 4: would be.
Speaker 3: Really annoying if we were fucking face timing, because then
Speaker 3: you fucking know for sure?
Speaker 4: Do you want to know something wild? He had an
Speaker 4: apartment and the person, older woman passed away next door,
Speaker 4: and I bought the apartment next door, so I have
Speaker 4: my own apartment next to his.
Speaker 1: Oh god, that's solid.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Where do you guys live in Brooklyn?
Speaker 4: We live in the Lower east Side.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm thinking about moving to New York. I'm going
Speaker 3: to look at a bunch of apartments tomorrow.
Speaker 4: And you're such a New Yorker.
Speaker 1: I know it's.
Speaker 3: Articulous that I've never lived here. I'm like almost I'm
Speaker 3: forty eight years old, so I've never lived.
Speaker 1: In your city.
Speaker 3: Jewish, I know, with open arms, I know, I know,
Speaker 3: I know. Well, you'd have to accept me because I'm
Speaker 3: New Jersey. Yeah, I'm from New Jersey.
Speaker 4: But sorry, I mean to call you out.
Speaker 3: It's a tri state area, yes, yes, the Tri state area.
Speaker 4: As long as you're not from like upstate, you know.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'm not from upstate. Okay, what else
Speaker 3: do you want to tell me about yourself?
Speaker 4: Oh? But I did want to talk about skiing with you, okay,
Speaker 4: because that's our biggest issue. That's big.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 1: I like your little furry arms.
Speaker 4: You're cute, very sweaty. Right now, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Look how much I like your harry.
Speaker 4: I'm half Italian.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I can see it. It's cute.
Speaker 4: Are we flirting? No? Okay, so I think that I
Speaker 4: want to like skiing.
Speaker 1: But what did you say? You had a ski accident?
Speaker 4: I had a ski accident because I really wanted to
Speaker 4: be good at skiing, and it's it's a weird thing
Speaker 4: because I'm competitive, but like, you just get to the
Speaker 4: bond of the mountain. So I'm like bored and scared
Speaker 4: and then I cry all the time. Why well, I'm
Speaker 4: like new to it, so I'm like in a buchry,
Speaker 4: I will always find find a bush. I'm crying, but
Speaker 4: then I'll be like, oh no, it's really cold, I'm
Speaker 4: not crying, which I think is like I want to
Speaker 4: know why you love skiing because I I want to
Speaker 4: get the bug because all he wants to do is ski,
Speaker 4: but I can't. We can't change ourselves. For men. Why
Speaker 4: do you love it?
Speaker 1: Because it's freeing, Like I love well, you are topless too.
Speaker 3: I do it, yeah, but not all the time. I
Speaker 3: even love it when I'm wearing clothes. I love it
Speaker 3: even more when I'm fucking naked, because there's just something
Speaker 3: so freeing about skiing down.
Speaker 4: I'm not taking it's so good.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 3: They're the best, my best feature. I can't believe I've did.
Speaker 3: I just I'm like, oh my god. Anytime anyone sees
Speaker 3: them for the first time, they're like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: are those real. I'm like, yeah, they're real.
Speaker 4: Bounce up, and then they're like athletic tits too, like
Speaker 4: I can do stuff with them.
Speaker 3: I'm not against plastic surgery because I'll do that, but
Speaker 3: I wouldn't get fake boobs, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: If anything, I would prefer smaller boobs because I've had
Speaker 3: my whole life, so I'm used to them, so they're
Speaker 3: not that fun for me anymore. Yeah, but it feels
Speaker 3: That's the other reason why I want to up my
Speaker 3: sex drive, because it feels shmeful to waste this body.
Speaker 3: My body is so smoking that it's like I feels
Speaker 3: like I need to share it.
Speaker 4: You know, do you feel like the best part of
Speaker 4: sex is like the foreplay before of like the teasing
Speaker 4: like will we will we not? Then once you do it,
Speaker 4: you're always just like okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's always good when you do it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: But back to skiing, always a freedom. There's a freedom
Speaker 3: in skiing down a mountain and being just like and
Speaker 3: just ripping down a mountain, like.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: I love the sense of like strength, the strength of
Speaker 3: like the sense of freedom. I love being outside in
Speaker 3: that cold weather, Like it's very invigorating to me, that feeling.
Speaker 3: It's not for everybody because a lot of people don't
Speaker 3: like the cold.
Speaker 4: You definitely get out of your own head when you're
Speaker 4: there because you have to be in the moment to focus.
Speaker 4: What do you think about the douchey snowboarders though, like
Speaker 4: they're like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, sleigh boarders aren't my favorite.
Speaker 3: The only time I've ever been hit was a has
Speaker 3: been by a snowboarder, right, I almost no boarded into
Speaker 3: me several times at my friends.
Speaker 4: The only boards I want is a Charcuteri board, Like
Speaker 4: that's all I want.
Speaker 3: I don't even like charcouterie anymore. I've decided I'm over sharkcuterie.
Speaker 3: I take, yeah, hot take is right, I'm Charcuterie feels
Speaker 3: passe to me.
Speaker 4: Well, I've never finished one, and then I always feel
Speaker 4: guilty because I had, Like.
Speaker 3: I'm back on the cheese, cheese and harmone because harmone
Speaker 3: is what they have in Spain, and I spend a
Speaker 3: lot of time in Spain, and I fucking love hormone.
Speaker 3: But that's the only kind of like meat dish I
Speaker 3: want at that. I'm over charcuterie.
Speaker 4: I do like the food associated with skiing, though, because
Speaker 4: hot chocolate you could drink at any time, and no
Speaker 4: one does.
Speaker 1: I drink margarita's.
Speaker 3: I go in for eleven o'clock margarita break at eleven am,
Speaker 3: I go in for my first margarita. Then I go
Speaker 3: back at one, and that actually gives me a more
Speaker 3: sense of like. I even am more fearless once I
Speaker 3: have a little alcohol in my system, you know, for skiing.
Speaker 3: Because my ski buddies in Canada where I ski, are hardcore.
Speaker 1: They are not fucking around.
Speaker 3: They're doing black So that's why I have to get
Speaker 3: knee surgery to get so I can ski and keep
Speaker 3: up with my friends.
Speaker 4: I love how your ski season like everything revolves on.
Speaker 1: Your ski oh everything everything having.
Speaker 4: A like you have a legit hobby, and I feel
Speaker 4: like so many people don't have hobbies and it's so
Speaker 4: beautiful that you love anything as much as you love skiing.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you.
Speaker 3: I was dating the Sky a few years ago, right
Speaker 3: before I went away to Whistler for like three months. Yes,
Speaker 3: I go, now I'm going to Whistler and he's like, okay,
Speaker 3: so how long are you to be there? And I
Speaker 3: was like three months and he was like, am I
Speaker 3: going to visit you there?
Speaker 1: And I was like, do you ski?
Speaker 4: Can you keep up?
Speaker 3: And he's like, well, I mean I haven't skied. I
Speaker 3: was like, no, then you're not visiting me, Like it's over.
Speaker 4: I'm not babysitting you on This relationship is over. Now
Speaker 4: we're not doing pizza skis together. That's not hot. It
Speaker 4: gives you the egg A guy doing pizza skiing.
Speaker 3: No, So I just don't even like that's how committed
Speaker 3: to skiing I am that even if I'm in the
Speaker 3: throes of a romance, I'll will prefer to go and
Speaker 3: leave that person to go skiing.
Speaker 4: I love that, but I was actually Whistler when.
Speaker 1: I got injured, but what was your injury?
Speaker 4: So I was on a green and it was called
Speaker 4: like easy out.
Speaker 1: Or I know exactly what you're talking about, Yeah, easy out.
Speaker 4: And it was like early in the morning, so it
Speaker 4: was very choppy, and I was a little cocky, like
Speaker 4: does my husband would make me do three hour lessons,
Speaker 4: get lunch, then show him what I learned. Like it
Speaker 4: was very very intense, but I want to be like loved.
Speaker 4: And my dad was my tennis coach, so it's like
Speaker 4: some deep the everything, and I'm just like, I will
Speaker 4: be great for this man. So I'm showing off. I'm
Speaker 4: like I'm getting my you know, rhythm, and I hid
Speaker 4: an edge and I fell onto my hand, like my
Speaker 4: whole body fell on my hand, and then like my
Speaker 4: hand kind of got crushed and I had to call
Speaker 4: the the was it called Sheboygan.
Speaker 1: With the Sheboygan a place in Wisconsin, part of board.
Speaker 4: The Toboggan.
Speaker 1: It's the Pagan Tobogganaboygan.
Speaker 4: So New York. I have no idea anything outside New York.
Speaker 4: The Toboggan came so dramatic because it's just.
Speaker 1: My pinky And so when you broke your pinky.
Speaker 4: I basically crushed like all my knuckles. It was bad,
Speaker 4: and I'm getting frostbite because it's like our a and
Speaker 4: I'm just lying there and there's a video of me
Speaker 4: going down the sheboygan and it was so dramasaically.
Speaker 3: And how did your boyfriend react to that? He's sympathetic
Speaker 3: to your injury.
Speaker 4: He was, but he thinks that I manifested it, which
Speaker 4: I think I did because I didn't really want to
Speaker 4: go skiing that day. You know, when you're just like
Speaker 4: what if I just you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, chucked
Speaker 4: myself down the mount because I was tired. I was
Speaker 4: doing like tons of shows and I was like, I
Speaker 4: don't want to go skiing this morning, and he's really good.
Speaker 1: Have you been skiing since then?
Speaker 4: So I have some shows coming up in like Denver
Speaker 4: and Aspen and we're seeing he bought me the like pass,
Speaker 4: so he's trying to get me back by compass. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: so he's pressuring me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a boyfriend once who didn't care. I
Speaker 3: had a torn ACL from skiing. Again, this is years ago.
Speaker 3: All I do is hurt myself. So I had a
Speaker 3: torn acl years ago in Switzerland and Zermatt. I was
Speaker 3: also on ecstasy when I went to that accident, so
Speaker 3: I just want to be very honest about that, and
Speaker 3: they manafact me. I'm too a helicopter off the mountain.
Speaker 3: My friends were all like, you're a fucking loser. And
Speaker 3: then I went to Rome and like Florence and some parts.
Speaker 4: Of Italy, on the half of your leg is like
Speaker 4: hanging out, and.
Speaker 3: I'm just well, basically, I was like, iowa win to
Speaker 3: get the surgery because I was already on vacation, and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I'll just tape it every day
Speaker 3: or wrap it, wrap it, and but my boyfriend just
Speaker 3: had no regard for my health, like at all. Like
Speaker 3: I'd get home every night, my knee would be like
Speaker 3: the size of a water balloon and I'd have to
Speaker 3: elevate it ice it for like three hours and he
Speaker 3: was just like, all right, tomorrow we're going to the coliseum.
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck off. And so that so it's very
Speaker 1: important when people care about your well being.
Speaker 4: You learned about it well.
Speaker 3: I ly right hand, but I also look, so what
Speaker 3: does that mean? So like, oh, because you're right it
Speaker 3: so I.
Speaker 4: Couldn't jerk my husband. You know when you put your
Speaker 4: in a ponytail. Yes, you knew how important that was.
Speaker 4: I couldn't do it, and he was trying to do it,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, that's the ugly ponytail, babe. And then
Speaker 4: I couldn't text fast because I couldn't use my hand.
Speaker 4: So that was a nightmare. Oh so do voice messages?
Speaker 4: All my friends were annoyed at me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never ever once recorded a voice message, but
Speaker 3: I receive them. You know, they disappeared too, they vanish, sketchy.
Speaker 4: Why is that it's so unnecessary?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3: It's like, what do you think I'm gonna do for
Speaker 3: your message to someone else? Meanwhile, that's how I found
Speaker 3: out advantaged because I was trying to.
Speaker 1: Do that very thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, we have to take a break and we'll be
Speaker 3: right back, Catherine. We're taking a break.
Speaker 2: Amazing, and we're back. We're back.
Speaker 3: It's so fast, Okay, Catherine, what do we what's going
Speaker 3: on today?
Speaker 1: Catherine? We've barely heard a peep out of here.
Speaker 5: So we've got a bunch of very fun questions for Hannah.
Speaker 5: But I think let's start with a little wedding question,
Speaker 5: a little a marriage question.
Speaker 1: It's like your wheel hill.
Speaker 5: Bianca says, Dear Chelsea, my best friend of thirteen years
Speaker 5: is getting married. She's my sister and my lifelong soulmate.
Speaker 5: I'm her maid of honor and will of course have
Speaker 5: to give a speech at the wedding.
Speaker 2: The speech will most likely.
Speaker 5: Be during the ceremony, and I believe the best man
Speaker 5: will go the funny route, so I want to keep
Speaker 5: it classy, sentimental and sweet. However, I don't see the
Speaker 5: spark with her fiance, and I'm feeling he's so uninspired.
Speaker 1: In writing this speech.
Speaker 4: Break up the wedding.
Speaker 5: She loves him dearly and they're building a life together,
Speaker 5: and I trust her decision and choosing him as a
Speaker 5: partner for her life. But sometimes I'm like, really, this guy,
Speaker 5: nothing is wrong with him necessarily other than having the
Speaker 5: personality of a rock.
Speaker 2: How do I find inspiration?
Speaker 5: Sincerely, Bianca, I think that's your speech right there.
Speaker 3: Well, I would focus your speech on your friend and
Speaker 3: just make it about all of the incredible things you
Speaker 3: can say about her and how lucky he is to
Speaker 3: be marrying her, and you don't have to vouch for
Speaker 3: him necessarily or talk about their connection obviously at the end,
Speaker 3: you want to say, like, I'm so glad that you
Speaker 3: found someone who appreciates all these things, you know, to
Speaker 3: really drive it home, but you not getting the spark
Speaker 3: between them is really not important information for your speech. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you have to be a good friend right now, and
Speaker 3: she loves him and she's getting married and he's not
Speaker 3: an asshole or abusive or anything like that that you've mentioned,
Speaker 3: So there's no reason to take a stand other than
Speaker 3: just try to make a great speech about what an
Speaker 3: incredible person she is and list just some of your
Speaker 3: favorite memories of her.
Speaker 4: That's good. I mean you don't have to put together
Speaker 4: like a whole thesis statement essay. I like, I love
Speaker 4: a quick speech. I'll have a three four minute solid
Speaker 4: to the point. And also I don't know her personality,
Speaker 4: but like you can be funny too, girl. Yeah, we
Speaker 4: did speeches and my husband was like killing in his speech,
Speaker 4: like last per minute.
Speaker 3: You guys were making speeches. That's funny.
Speaker 4: I think it's an Irish tradition.
Speaker 3: Oh that's funny. Well, good for him, since he's not
Speaker 3: fucking Irish. I mean it's Irish tradition, I guess because.
Speaker 4: He's lived there the last like thirty years. So he's like,
Speaker 4: this is what we do. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 4: now I have to perform my own fucking wedding and
Speaker 4: he's killing and then I'm realizing I have to follow him,
Speaker 4: so I'm not listening to his speech. I'm going through
Speaker 4: my notes in my set, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: So I slowed, like, slow it down after the best
Speaker 4: man crushes, slow it down, you know, get the audience
Speaker 4: calm again. Yeah, and I was like sweet, and then
Speaker 4: I made a joke like I wish I met you earlier,
Speaker 4: like when you were in your twenty but I would
Speaker 4: have been in kindergarten. And then we got like a
Speaker 4: little laplause break and I was like fuck you, I win,
Speaker 4: and then I danced the night away. So don't be
Speaker 4: afraid to be funny just because the best man's gonna
Speaker 4: be funny. Yeah, like you can crush a two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that too.
Speaker 5: I've been in this situation before too, where like one
Speaker 5: of my best girlfriends, like she dated this really fun
Speaker 5: guy and he was awesome. They traveled, they did all
Speaker 5: this stuff, and then the guy she wound up marrying
Speaker 5: was just like this very kind of boring guy playing vanilla,
Speaker 5: and you know what they are now, like fifteen years later,
Speaker 5: like so happy, three kids living in the suburbs, and
Speaker 5: I'm like, who knew.
Speaker 2: She's like thrilled with her life.
Speaker 5: They're deeply in love even though he's like still very boring,
Speaker 5: but that's what she wanted.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know a lot of people want boring man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5: I remember talking to my dad about this exact friend
Speaker 5: and I'm like, you know this guy, he's just like
Speaker 5: so vanilla, and my dad goes, you know what, a
Speaker 5: lot of people love vanilla ice cream. It's not exciting,
Speaker 5: it's not Rocky Road, but vanilla ice cream.
Speaker 2: I still have an Ali scream.
Speaker 1: What kind of wedding did you have?
Speaker 4: So we honestly, if I'm being open with people, Elope
Speaker 4: like just alope. We had a beautiful We had a
Speaker 4: beautiful wedding in West Hampton. It was great. We brought
Speaker 4: the families together, but it adds up. It gets so expensive.
Speaker 4: And also, as a comedian, like I always make everything
Speaker 4: about me, so the day was I don't like wedding attention.
Speaker 4: It's like happy birthday attention where you're like, oh, these
Speaker 4: people are forced to like clap for me because it's
Speaker 4: my birthday or my wedding day. I like to earn
Speaker 4: people's affection, so it was very I didn't love that
Speaker 4: attention on wedding day. But I think for someone who
Speaker 4: like never makes things about themselves, the wedding day is
Speaker 4: the most beautiful day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, really, last thing I would ever want for myself
Speaker 1: a wedding.
Speaker 4: I was like. And also the whole like your dad
Speaker 4: giving you away. I'm like, my dad's like.
Speaker 1: My dad's dead, so he's not giving me away.
Speaker 3: Shout out to shout out to my dad if you're
Speaker 3: listening to this podcast.
Speaker 4: Actually both of does his parents our dead, which is
Speaker 4: quite nice.
Speaker 2: With that, Let's go to grinder.
Speaker 5: Tyler lives in the South and he is in a
Speaker 5: bit of a predicament. I just want to preface too,
Speaker 5: So this is a bit of a two part question.
Speaker 5: I would love for us to sort of answer the
Speaker 5: question in the email a little bit, and then he's
Speaker 5: going to join us and give us a little bit
Speaker 5: of an update.
Speaker 2: So Tyler says, Dear.
Speaker 5: Chelsea, I find myself in a rather delicate situation and
Speaker 5: I would greatly appreciate your insight and guidance The other night,
Speaker 5: during a sleepless bout at three am, I found myself
Speaker 5: mindlessly scrolling through Grinder. I have two different accounts, one
Speaker 5: with my face that I used regularly and another anonymous
Speaker 5: account for mere curiosity. To my surprise, I received a
Speaker 5: message from a nearby anonymous profile expressing interest in the
Speaker 5: late night encounter and including explicit photos. Curiosity got the
Speaker 5: better of me and I asked this person for a
Speaker 5: face picture, thinking they wouldn't comply since I don't share
Speaker 5: face pictures on that account. However, they did send a
Speaker 5: poo and to my astonishment, it turned out to be
Speaker 5: my aunt's husband.
Speaker 2: Oh. I was taken aback, to say the least.
Speaker 5: Now, I find myself at a crossroads, unsure of how
Speaker 5: to proceed. Should I inform my aunt about my discovery.
Speaker 5: Should I confront her husband directly? I understand that staying
Speaker 5: silent is an option, but it goes against my nature
Speaker 5: and my personal values.
Speaker 2: My intention is to handle.
Speaker 5: The situation with care and thoughtfulness, taking into consideration my
Speaker 5: aunt's feelings are family dynamics and the potential impact on
Speaker 5: their relationship. I don't know whether they have a specific
Speaker 5: open arrangement or an understanding within their marriage, and I
Speaker 5: don't want to make assumptions or create unnecessary discomfort for
Speaker 5: anyone involved. But I also don't want my aunt to
Speaker 5: be in a position without informed consent if she's unaware
Speaker 5: of his actions.
Speaker 2: Tyler, Hi, Tyler, Hi, Hi Tyler.
Speaker 3: By the way, this is Hannah Bernard Me yesterday, Hianna.
Speaker 6: So about a week after I read, my aunt went
Speaker 6: on a two week vacation to Florida with her husband
Speaker 6: and boyfriend. Yeah and yeah no, And so I was like, Okay,
Speaker 6: I'm not going to rude their vacation, Like this is
Speaker 6: not a time to like blow it up.
Speaker 8: So I decided to like hold off. Well, what do
Speaker 8: you know.
Speaker 6: When they're in Florida, my aunt finds out on her
Speaker 6: own about this. She found grinder on his phone, and
Speaker 6: so my sister messages me and she's like, our aunt
Speaker 6: found out about this. They're going to get a divorce,
Speaker 6: and she wants you to block his number. I'm like me,
Speaker 6: like what, okay, So of course I just played. I'm
Speaker 6: like I was like, okay, well, I guess this is
Speaker 6: kind of off of my chest now without me having
Speaker 6: to do or say anything or implicate myself but now
Speaker 6: there's no separation. I think they've kind of swept it
Speaker 6: under the rug, and I feel still a little yucky
Speaker 6: about it. And so I think my question now is, well,
Speaker 6: do I share with her what I know? I mean,
Speaker 6: I receive pictures.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you do. I think you do. That's
Speaker 3: your aunt and your loyalty should be to your family.
Speaker 3: And she should know because now they're not getting divorced.
Speaker 3: Now they're staying together while he's grinding on other men
Speaker 3: and like trying to hook up. I mean, it's shocking
Speaker 3: and which if she's fine with it, then fine, but
Speaker 3: he probably convinced her that it was like a one
Speaker 3: time thing or blah blah blah, and I think you
Speaker 3: should tell her the truth.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 4: Also, Yeah, I feel like it's the kind of thing
Speaker 4: that after like four drinks at a family function, you're
Speaker 4: gonna spill anyway, So you might as well do it
Speaker 4: in like an organized, correct fashion, because I know myself
Speaker 4: and I would it would be like on the tip
Speaker 4: of my tongue all the time, and I'd drop it
Speaker 4: at the worst point, and that would be real drama.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So luckily we don't have that sort of family dynamic
Speaker 6: where we're all been noodling together. But yeah, I just
Speaker 6: you know, I hesitated because I'm like, well, do I
Speaker 6: reopen this wound, maybe cashed it out?
Speaker 8: Does she know the depth of it? And do I
Speaker 8: get involved?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know it's probably.
Speaker 3: I mean, listen, I always err on the side of
Speaker 3: telling people the truth, even if it's inconvenient and it's
Speaker 3: hard to hear, like, I do it out of respect
Speaker 3: for people, like I think people deserve to know the
Speaker 3: full truth. And it actually seems like it's present. This
Speaker 3: opportunity has presented itself to you in a way that
Speaker 3: you should You should be telling the truth, you know,
Speaker 3: like it came up and you can easily say liaseless.
Speaker 3: And I know you guys, I heard from my sister
Speaker 3: that you guys were separating and then you were getting divorced,
Speaker 3: or if you had, did you spoken to your aunt
Speaker 3: directly about it?
Speaker 4: Yet?
Speaker 1: I mean, has she mentioned that the divorce to you
Speaker 1: or No.
Speaker 8: She's not mentioned anything to me.
Speaker 6: The only thing I've heard was from my sister and
Speaker 6: then that was it.
Speaker 8: It's almost as if it never happened.
Speaker 5: Well, And can I also clarify, do any of them
Speaker 5: know that you got these pictures from him because or
Speaker 5: was it.
Speaker 2: Just like you know and they don't know?
Speaker 4: You know, they know now though they all listen to
Speaker 4: Chelsea thank everyone.
Speaker 8: No they haven't.
Speaker 6: And I you know what, five years ago, I probably
Speaker 6: would have been like, oh my god, guess what everyone?
Speaker 8: I have like learned empathy and learned.
Speaker 4: But if you were her, what would you want?
Speaker 8: That's a really great question.
Speaker 6: I feel like I would want someone to tell me,
Speaker 6: and without knowing what she knows now or how much
Speaker 6: she knows, I think I would still want it. But
Speaker 6: it also I feel bad for her. It is an
Speaker 6: uncomfortable situation, and I don't want to embarrass her. I
Speaker 6: don't want to make her feel any worse about it.
Speaker 4: And yeah, maybe they're having fun threesomes now, like maybe
Speaker 4: it's enhanced their relationship.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's what At first I was like, Well,
Speaker 6: I don't know their situation. Maybe they're open and it's
Speaker 6: totally cool. But then I'm like, that's not I live
Speaker 6: in Kentucky. That's not probably what I know.
Speaker 3: Because if she was going to divorce him right away,
Speaker 3: she obviously convinced that it wasn't a thing, or that
Speaker 3: he didn't do it, or that it was a one
Speaker 3: time thing. I think you should tell her. I think
Speaker 3: you should just say listen, in light of everything that's happened.
Speaker 3: I know you and I haven't spoken directly, but I
Speaker 3: have to be honest with you because my loyalty is
Speaker 3: to you. This happened. This happened a couple weeks before
Speaker 3: you went on your vacation. I wrestled with telling you
Speaker 3: or not, and then I heard you were getting a divorce,
Speaker 3: and I figured, okay, that's there's no reason to tell you.
Speaker 3: And I no judgment whatsoever if you know about it
Speaker 3: and you're okay with it, but I wanted you to
Speaker 3: know from me, this is what happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no judgment. I love you. He probably was like grinder.
Speaker 4: I thought it was like a core appliance.
Speaker 1: App Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3: I mean, any woman can be convinced of anything when
Speaker 3: they want to be, you know, like powerful.
Speaker 6: You know, and part of me too, like I get
Speaker 6: I get the piece where you know, however old he is,
Speaker 6: having those feelings or being gay or being bisexual is
Speaker 6: just like out of the norm, I guess, or not
Speaker 6: right for people of his age, and so I get
Speaker 6: his perspective of like being trying to be secretive and
Speaker 6: not share, and that part's wrong.
Speaker 8: The lying part is wrong.
Speaker 6: But I wanted to protect almost like the person, you know,
Speaker 6: prevent outing him and creating a situation where he can't
Speaker 6: be his authentic self.
Speaker 8: And that's work he has to do, I know.
Speaker 6: But I've also been on the side of where someone's
Speaker 6: outing me or talking bad about me, or calling me names,
Speaker 6: and so I'm trying to, you know, proceed with caution.
Speaker 6: I guess, I just don't want anyone to be in
Speaker 6: a situation, my aunt or him in terms of like
Speaker 6: his sexuality, if that's what it is, if it was experimenting,
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I get it. It's a sensitive issue.
Speaker 3: And listen, you're not outing him because she first of all,
Speaker 3: now she already knows something's up. And I respect what
Speaker 3: you're saying. You don't want to out somebody, but this
Speaker 3: is a family member. The reason to do it is
Speaker 3: to be honest with her, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: You don't want to keep a secret on behalf of
Speaker 3: this guy when it's your aunt. You know, It's not
Speaker 3: like you're outing someone into the world and saying, oh,
Speaker 3: this person's a homosexual.
Speaker 1: You're saying to your aunt, this is what happened. This
Speaker 1: is what I know.
Speaker 3: I don't know that he's a homosexual, but I mean
Speaker 3: clearly he sent me pictures. This happened. Like, you deserve
Speaker 3: to know this, and that's it. And if she doesn't,
Speaker 3: you know, and if she's fine with it, then fine,
Speaker 3: then great, then they can carry on. But I think
Speaker 3: the truth is important.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is hard to be the catalyst though, of drama,
Speaker 4: like feeling like it's your fault. But like, what if
Speaker 4: she ends up finding the love of her life after this,
Speaker 4: and he ends up finding the love of his life
Speaker 4: and they live more authentic lives and then you're the
Speaker 4: savior and then you go to heaven.
Speaker 1: And then Hannah. Yeah, and then Hannah comes and makes
Speaker 1: a speech at your wedding.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I've been thinking about heaven a lot lately.
Speaker 4: So that's like I changed the rules. Yeah, I agree,
Speaker 4: I feel like heaven's kind of gay. But anyway, that's
Speaker 4: another point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have does seem like it's definitely like there's
Speaker 3: a lot of gay people there after everything they've after
Speaker 3: everything they've gone through on Earth.
Speaker 4: I mean, aesthetic is like sparkly and like it looks Yeah.
Speaker 8: I agree.
Speaker 6: I think the right thing to do is to share
Speaker 6: and and say, like you said, no judgment.
Speaker 8: I just want you to know the whole story and
Speaker 8: do what you want.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think you know you have to prioritize like her
Speaker 5: bodily autonomy and being able to make choices for herself.
Speaker 5: Over you know, as Chelsea said, you're not outing him
Speaker 5: to the world, but over like basically outing him is
Speaker 5: like no, he is actively seeking hookups in person to
Speaker 5: your aunt. But also like, I think maybe that conversation
Speaker 5: is not like showing her what he sent you, but
Speaker 5: like just maybe verbal and saying like, hey he did
Speaker 5: send explicit photos, et cetera.
Speaker 4: Yeah he us posted.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely want to.
Speaker 3: I want to hear about this one after this is all,
Speaker 3: after the dust settles.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'll keep you updated. I will be very patient
Speaker 6: with her because I know it's a lot.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Chelsea, do you think this is like a letter?
Speaker 5: Do you think this is a phone call? In person?
Speaker 2: What do you think?
Speaker 1: Where does she live? And can you see her in person?
Speaker 8: I can? I can see her in person just about
Speaker 8: any time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you should do it in person. Not
Speaker 3: a voice note, not a voice memo. No, definitely not,
Speaker 3: definitely not, or you could just DM her on Instagram.
Speaker 8: That's intimate, just me.
Speaker 3: Both together and just resend the pictures that he sent
Speaker 3: you on Grinder?
Speaker 1: Does this look familiar? Does this dick look familiar?
Speaker 3: And she's so he didn't know he was sending it
Speaker 3: to you though, right, he didn't see your picture.
Speaker 1: He only oh, I see.
Speaker 4: No sloppy, very sloppy, sloppy behavior.
Speaker 8: Yeah, he has a lot to learn.
Speaker 3: But how can you hook up with someone on Grinder
Speaker 3: without seeing their photo of their face?
Speaker 1: You just send dick pics back and forth and that's it.
Speaker 4: Not me.
Speaker 8: I have to have a face, like I want to
Speaker 8: see teeth I see. But other people that.
Speaker 1: You said you don't send your face, right.
Speaker 6: I don't send my face on that. So I have
Speaker 6: two grinders. One's just for me being nosy, that's just
Speaker 6: a blank profile, and.
Speaker 4: The other I know it like a finta, like a finsta.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what's the point of a fake grinder?
Speaker 6: Like for me, it's just like who's around? I don't
Speaker 6: like actively really message well, just.
Speaker 4: To know who finds me out. If your aunt's husbands
Speaker 4: are on it, that's that's a good enough reason.
Speaker 3: I wonder how many ants. I wonder how many of
Speaker 3: your aunt's husbands are on it one? So for how
Speaker 3: many ants do you have? Every ant is shaking right now.
Speaker 8: I will call in another episode and we'll go through
Speaker 8: my whole family.
Speaker 4: If you want Kentuck, he's crazy.
Speaker 8: Oh my god.
Speaker 6: Grinder by the way, it's like the wild West, So
Speaker 6: you don't know the half of what happens there.
Speaker 1: No, I don't.
Speaker 4: I'd a little bit of the sex of Grinder, like
Speaker 4: a little bit of a stosterone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. It sounds like I do.
Speaker 1: Maybe I can get it from your uncle.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 4: It's funny though, because I feel like a lesbian dating
Speaker 4: app would not just be sending like laby ALIPs, No,
Speaker 4: that would. It would be like poetry cat photos.
Speaker 8: Like nesting.
Speaker 6: I don't know if you've ever heard of the term nesting,
Speaker 6: but when a bunch of gays get together, it's I mean,
Speaker 6: it's it's fine and interesting.
Speaker 8: I'm not going to say I hate it.
Speaker 5: But I think Chelsea needs like a fake Grinder account
Speaker 5: so she can explore.
Speaker 8: I think you should.
Speaker 1: That actually would amuse me. I think I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: I don't really like dick pics, though.
Speaker 4: Out of context they're aggressive.
Speaker 3: I don't really like to see pictures of penises, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean? Like I I would rather just yeah,
Speaker 3: not to see that.
Speaker 4: She goes, I'd love it minus all the dicks. You're like,
Speaker 4: that's not gonna.
Speaker 2: Work, It's not gonnas.
Speaker 5: Well, Tyler, a lot of I know what happens. I
Speaker 5: know you've got a couple of tough conversations out of you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will.
Speaker 6: I'll keep you posted and I'm sure all will go
Speaker 6: just as smoothly as we hope.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Tyler, Bye.
Speaker 8: Tyler, Tyler, thank you bye, good to see you.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 4: Oh I'm stressed.
Speaker 2: That real A lot of layers, A lot of layers.
Speaker 4: How cute. Well.
Speaker 5: Our next caller is Cecilia Dear Chelsea. I'm twenty five
Speaker 5: years old, and I would say I'm a late bloomer
Speaker 5: in the romantic realm. I've never had a boyfriend. I
Speaker 5: went to a small high school where none of my
Speaker 5: friends really dated. Then for college, I majored in theater,
Speaker 5: so no straight men there. Then COVID hit my senior year.
Speaker 5: And I also have a life full of loving friends
Speaker 5: and family, so I think that's This has also caused
Speaker 5: me to not seek a romantic partner. I moved to
Speaker 5: a new city two years ago for a fabulous job
Speaker 5: and haven't quite found a circle of friends that give
Speaker 5: me the support I need. I started online dating about
Speaker 5: a year ago, and after maybe half a dozen first dates,
Speaker 5: I decided it wasn't for me. I have had two
Speaker 5: other situationships, as the gen z would say, in recent months,
Speaker 5: and they both happened similarly. Both were guys at work
Speaker 5: who I had a foundation with of sorts, and they
Speaker 5: pursued me. We'd go on fun dates and they were
Speaker 5: obsessed with me, as they should be, and then once
Speaker 5: I really liked them and tried to define the relationship,
Speaker 5: they'd get all distant. It's frustrating that both of these
Speaker 5: guys pursued me and then let things fizzle once I
Speaker 5: had strong feelings for them. Needless to say, I need
Speaker 5: to stop dating men in the workplace. But it's also
Speaker 5: teaching me that being upfront with my feelings scares men away,
Speaker 5: which feels like the wrong takeaway. My therapist said I
Speaker 5: should let them initiate how they're feeling, but that feels
Speaker 5: like a cop out. I feel like I have no
Speaker 5: skills in dating or handling a breakup, and I feel
Speaker 5: like I'm so late to the game. I don't even
Speaker 5: know where to start.
Speaker 1: Cecilia, she's twenty five.
Speaker 3: Hi, Cecilia, by no, you're only twenty five years old.
Speaker 3: You me mean light to the game. Some people don't
Speaker 3: even have sex and so they're thirty.
Speaker 4: Okay, I mean, I guess that's fair.
Speaker 8: I guess.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 7: It's something that I feel like I've done other parts
Speaker 7: of my life that I'm like, Oh, let's delve into
Speaker 7: finding a partner, especially like in the city I live in.
Speaker 7: I feel like I don't have a base, so like
Speaker 7: I feel like having a partner would be nice.
Speaker 1: What city do you live in?
Speaker 7: Orlando? Oh?
Speaker 1: Okay, m water Parks.
Speaker 4: I like to say, as an elder, your early twenties
Speaker 4: is all. It's researching. It's not even dating. Call it researching.
Speaker 4: You're figuring out what you like, which you don't like,
Speaker 4: what makes you un comfy, because there's no you're not getting.
Speaker 4: You're not trying to find a husband. You know, you're
Speaker 4: just learning about yourself, and you don't really know that
Speaker 4: much about yourself. In your early twenties either.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
Speaker 3: Why do you put so much pressure on yourself to
Speaker 3: be in a relationship.
Speaker 7: I guess maybe like a part of me puts pressure
Speaker 7: on myself, Like when I was writing in I was
Speaker 7: putting pressure on myself, But like it's not like I'm
Speaker 7: actively focusing on that all the time. I think just
Speaker 7: a part of me like puts pressure on myself. But
Speaker 7: I put pressure on myself career wise in like other
Speaker 7: parts of my life for sure, But it's not like
Speaker 7: every day I'm waking up like how do I solve
Speaker 7: this problem? I'm single, Like I'm It's like not an
Speaker 7: intense problem. It's just like I don't want to like
Speaker 7: be dirty and be like, oh I forgot again to
Speaker 7: ever pursue any one romantically. Like I just feel like
Speaker 7: I have to make that a part of my life
Speaker 7: if I ever want that.
Speaker 4: I mean, relationships are hard, and it could seem with
Speaker 4: social media that like everyone's in a loving relationship, but
Speaker 4: I think it's like the hardest thing. And you know
Speaker 4: how when you make a friend it's so easy and quick.
Speaker 4: That's kind of like what you're looking for in a
Speaker 4: guy where it's like we're not forcing it. I mess
Speaker 4: with you. There's not like oh I have to It's
Speaker 4: not like homework, like I have to study to be
Speaker 4: good at this. It's kind of like what we're talking
Speaker 4: about is don't worry about the men. Worry about you,
Speaker 4: and then you'll be doing something you love, like skiing
Speaker 4: or something, and they'll find you. But you don't have
Speaker 4: to force it or research or like try too hard.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I've picked up bouldering recently. That's been cool, but like,
Speaker 7: I don't know. I guess I feel like I should
Speaker 7: be actively trying at least a little bit.
Speaker 3: But I think an oversight that many of us make
Speaker 3: is we are a miscalculation is like, don't underestimate the
Speaker 3: value of your relationship with yourself when you are a
Speaker 3: whole person and you really invest in getting to know yourself,
Speaker 3: in being with yourself, in finding out what you do enjoy,
Speaker 3: Like Okay, bouldering great, you like that, right, All of
Speaker 3: those things are good, Like it's very natural. Not everybody
Speaker 3: has boyfriends in their twenties, you know, Like I had
Speaker 3: two boyfriends in my twenties and in the span in
Speaker 3: a decade.
Speaker 1: I'm not a relationship person.
Speaker 3: I have relationships, and then I have to take long
Speaker 3: breaks in between those relationships because they fucking wear.
Speaker 1: The shit out of me.
Speaker 3: And then in those times when I'm single are the
Speaker 3: best times in my life. So like, honestly, like you
Speaker 3: have to really build that relationship with yourself and get
Speaker 3: to know who you are and what because sometimes in
Speaker 3: our twenties, like there's a lot of us looking around
Speaker 3: and not sometimes this is like a society. We're always
Speaker 3: looking at what other people are doing. We're looking at
Speaker 3: social media, we're looking at other people there in relationships.
Speaker 1: I should do that, I should do that? Why who?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like, it's you can make an effort, and you know
Speaker 3: you can make an effort. You're going to meet people
Speaker 3: naturally in your life, as you go through your job,
Speaker 3: as you go through your social stuff and your hobbies,
Speaker 3: you are naturally going to meet people. If you want
Speaker 3: to put an effort in beyond that, then absolutely then
Speaker 3: you do kind of have to do that dating thing
Speaker 3: or you have to put yourself in situations where you're.
Speaker 1: Going to constantly be meeting new people.
Speaker 3: And there are other ways to do that without dating sites,
Speaker 3: and you can join you know, like a bouldering club,
Speaker 3: or you can join a tennis club, or you can
Speaker 3: join a pickleball club or whatever the fuck you're into,
Speaker 3: you know, and you can meet people that way and
Speaker 3: use that as like, Okay, at least I'm putting actively
Speaker 3: putting myself out there. But I have to tell you
Speaker 3: when I actively put myself out there is when it
Speaker 3: yields the least results. That is, so I meet people
Speaker 3: when I'm not looking. That's always what has happened to me.
Speaker 3: And I don't consider any of my relationships unsuccessful because
Speaker 3: they didn't work out. They were just parts of the
Speaker 3: things that built me up into who I am today
Speaker 3: and makes me understand myself even more now.
Speaker 1: I know, like I have zero tolerance for any bullshit.
Speaker 3: I have to be completely attracted or into someone to
Speaker 3: give you the time of day, Like you know, I
Speaker 3: just don't have that kind of like young attitude about
Speaker 3: it anymore because my time to with myself is so valuable.
Speaker 1: Anthropocy or that was a word of the day. It
Speaker 1: was called the.
Speaker 3: Pleasure of being alone, the pleasure of enjoying your solitude anthropony. Anthropony,
Speaker 3: I think is what it was. Anyway, I was like Oh,
Speaker 3: that's how I feel like. I love I love my
Speaker 3: alone time, So listen, it doesn't really I'm we're not
Speaker 3: giving you like a concrete answer here, but I would
Speaker 3: say just lay off of it for a little bit,
Speaker 3: don't even think about it for a couple months, and
Speaker 3: revisit it so you can just kind of get refocused
Speaker 3: and recalibrate on yourself and then come out and with
Speaker 3: a fresher perspective. If you're done with the dating sites
Speaker 3: for now, then give it a break and come back
Speaker 3: to it in a couple of months or whatever you
Speaker 3: feel like it. You know, I wouldn't put so much
Speaker 3: pressure on yourself to meet somebody.
Speaker 4: Ooh, that was amazing. Take fucking notes. That was heavy.
Speaker 4: But it also I feel like we're trying to say,
Speaker 4: like we're kind of proud of you that you've invested
Speaker 4: in yourself, because sometimes you'll only try to date people
Speaker 4: and you're just like doing whatever they like, and yeah,
Speaker 4: do some apps, throw yourself in some dates. But we're honest,
Speaker 4: you're not missing that much. Early twenties guys are confused.
Speaker 4: They don't even know how to finger you like you're confused.
Speaker 4: You so like you're not missing anything crazy and by
Speaker 4: the time you're like thirty and you're that bitch, then
Speaker 4: you're gonna level up and meet someone at that level
Speaker 4: with you. But that comes in investing in yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, then you really have something to offer somebody up.
Speaker 3: When you really have put the work into yourself and
Speaker 3: you are comfortable in your own skin and know who
Speaker 3: you are, then you really are a catch. You know,
Speaker 3: not to say you're not one now, but it's only
Speaker 3: going to get better for you. So the more time
Speaker 3: you can spend by yourself getting to realize who you are,
Speaker 3: becoming a self actualized person, is going to yield much
Speaker 3: better results and much better people that are complimentary to
Speaker 3: you and that are that are well suited for you.
Speaker 3: Because sometimes when we come from a place of like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: I guess I should be doing this, you're not really
Speaker 3: looking for the right things in a person.
Speaker 4: And if you get married one day, you have the
Speaker 4: whole rest of your life that you're gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 4: I missed when I was early twenties and I could
Speaker 4: just hang out with the girls.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, and I would say too, like you moved
Speaker 5: to this new city two years ago. You know you're
Speaker 5: kind of established there, but you haven't developed that friend group.
Speaker 5: And that's one of the best ways to like meet
Speaker 5: a romantic interest is through friends. So if you're gonna
Speaker 5: pour effort into anything, maybe pour your effort into like
Speaker 5: building a base of friendships and dating to find a
Speaker 5: group of friends.
Speaker 4: You know, And I love bouldering. That's cool. I mean
Speaker 4: I've never done it, but I want it sounds fun.
Speaker 7: It's just easy to pick up if that's something you're
Speaker 7: interested in.
Speaker 1: Like, what do you do? What is bouldering? Rock climbing?
Speaker 7: Yeah, but it's like rock climbing, but it's strategic, so
Speaker 7: there's like different colors and like you're not like stropped
Speaker 7: into anything. It's not that kind of rock climbing.
Speaker 4: It's only like ten like a spider monkey. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sure, I'm going to google spider Monkey later.
Speaker 3: It sounds like some sort of semen applicant that's something
Speaker 3: to do with semen.
Speaker 1: Was that helpful to you at all?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 7: I guess I just kinda have spent the past couple
Speaker 7: of years building on myself and working on myself and
Speaker 7: not being invested in finding a romantic partner. So I
Speaker 7: kind of thought maybe now that I like I'm so
Speaker 7: established here in my career and my friends here are
Speaker 7: like okay, but like my friends and family back home,
Speaker 7: like I'm so secure in that that like I thought
Speaker 7: this would be like a good time in my life
Speaker 7: to kind.
Speaker 2: Of like branch out.
Speaker 7: But we're saying, like, no, keep focusing on like myself
Speaker 7: and like kind.
Speaker 8: Of go from there.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can branch out. You can do both things.
Speaker 3: But I'm just saying in the interim time where like,
Speaker 3: if you don't want to put the effort into the
Speaker 3: dating sites, then don't then that you don't have to
Speaker 3: do that. There's no limit or time frame where you
Speaker 3: have to be with somebody. I understand the desire, but
Speaker 3: nothing bad is going to come from you spending time
Speaker 3: alone and get to know yourself even more. You know,
Speaker 3: two years is great, So maybe it's another six months.
Speaker 3: You'll know when you have like a real hankering, and
Speaker 3: you'll definitely know when you meet someone and there's a
Speaker 3: spark and that could happen.
Speaker 1: Also just a rando.
Speaker 4: Second, Yeah, it takes one person. Yeah, are you on
Speaker 4: the apps now?
Speaker 1: So she's over them?
Speaker 4: Oh you're over.
Speaker 7: That's what I'm saying is I'm not really trying. So
Speaker 7: that's like kind of where I'm at right now.
Speaker 4: We're kind of saying, don't feel bad about where you are.
Speaker 4: It's great. And I would redownload apps so you like
Speaker 4: doing your own thing and force yourself to go on
Speaker 4: like a date every couple of weeks and see what happens.
Speaker 7: So I don't really go on the apps because I like,
Speaker 7: I've done that before and I've never had a dating
Speaker 7: app where I've been like that was so fun, even
Speaker 7: though we didn't have a connection.
Speaker 4: That was great. So like.
Speaker 7: Go to the movies by myself, like take myself out
Speaker 7: to dinner, Like I'd rather do that than do that
Speaker 7: with somebody.
Speaker 5: Also, like let the friends that you do have know, like, hey,
Speaker 5: do you know anybody put it out there that you're
Speaker 5: interested in meeting someone, and like people will start, things
Speaker 5: will purkle, people will start thinking about who they know
Speaker 5: and who they might hook you up with. Well, Cecilia,
Speaker 5: keep us posted on what you do decide to do.
Speaker 5: If you decide to like work on friendships, if you
Speaker 5: decide to try out the apps again, yeah for sure.
Speaker 3: And who knows, maybe we'll run into somebody on this
Speaker 3: podcast and we can set you up with them. We
Speaker 3: just have to find someone who lives in Orlando.
Speaker 7: Perfect, yes, Kiwi post.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of Ron DeSantis? Would you like to
Speaker 1: quantitate with him?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 8: Else you? No?
Speaker 7: Please?
Speaker 4: Zudi?
Speaker 1: Too soon? All right, Cecilia, good.
Speaker 2: Luck, thank you, thank bye.
Speaker 1: We don't really help Cecilia.
Speaker 4: I know she's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean she didn't but she didn't really want
Speaker 1: to do anything about it.
Speaker 3: So it's like, I don't know, what are we supposed
Speaker 3: to just bring someone out of thin air and place
Speaker 3: her in his custody.
Speaker 5: Finding a friend group and like solidifying those relationships I
Speaker 5: think is number one for her because she's been there
Speaker 5: for two years. Like, she hasn't been there for two months.
Speaker 5: It doesn't have friends, she's been there for two years.
Speaker 5: Don't you feel like that's that's the next move?
Speaker 4: Making friends as an adult could be so hard.
Speaker 3: Though, But she did say she in her letter, she
Speaker 3: said she didn't have a friend group.
Speaker 1: But then when we were talking, she said she had
Speaker 1: some friends.
Speaker 3: Foam, okay, yeah, yeah yeah, Orlando.
Speaker 1: It just sounds so bleak.
Speaker 3: As soon as she said Orlando, it's like, well, the
Speaker 3: first you have to leave Florida and then we can
Speaker 3: talk about what's going to happen, you know, Orlando, Like, I.
Speaker 2: Know, it's tricky.
Speaker 4: That's why I said water Parks.
Speaker 1: I was trying to be positive, I know, but are
Speaker 1: those positive?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: Everyone, what's that word that you guys just said?
Speaker 4: The monkey?
Speaker 3: Spider monkey? Sounds like you would find that out a
Speaker 3: word once he comes.
Speaker 4: That's what it looks like my body.
Speaker 1: Oh No.
Speaker 3: Vanessa Gonzales who opens for me on my tour, and
Speaker 3: she talks about men coming and it's it's so disenchanting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's always embarrassing.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, faces when they come is embarrassing. You have
Speaker 3: to look away or just shut your eyes.
Speaker 4: How do we get here?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Spider monkeys. Okay, we're going to take a quick break.
Speaker 1: We're back. We are, We're back with Hannah Burner.
Speaker 2: We're back. I do have a little quickie. This is
Speaker 2: from Caitlin. Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 5: I think I seriously need my ass kicked, ladies, and
Speaker 5: I've figured you'd be the best ones to do it.
Speaker 5: I've been with my boyfriend for about fifteen months and
Speaker 5: we're absolutely in love. He's amazing everything I've always wanted.
Speaker 2: I've waited a long time for him. She's fifty five.
Speaker 5: Oh, However, I find myself being hung up on the
Speaker 5: fact that I make more money than him, like substantially more.
Speaker 5: I've never been in this situation before, but I'm not
Speaker 5: so sure how to handle what I'm feeling. When we
Speaker 5: go out, he drives and pays, et cetera. But when
Speaker 5: we take it to the next level and live together,
Speaker 5: I fear there will be resentment on my part because
Speaker 5: I'll surely be covering more of our living expenses. Chelsea,
Speaker 5: I'm sure you've been in relationships with men that make
Speaker 5: less money than you.
Speaker 2: How did you handle it? Please help me get over myself, Caitlin.
Speaker 3: First of all, men have been paying for us for
Speaker 3: fucking years, So get over yourself, Caitlyn, who gives a
Speaker 3: shit about money?
Speaker 1: Be happy that you're in a happy relationship.
Speaker 3: With somebody that you're attracted to then you want to fuck,
Speaker 3: and that you want to live with Who cares about
Speaker 3: who makes more money that?
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't have any resentment.
Speaker 3: It's sometimes not hot if someone's broke, But as long
Speaker 3: as someone can like pay their fair share of something,
Speaker 3: and you make more money than you help out a
Speaker 3: little bit more.
Speaker 1: That's what a relationship is.
Speaker 4: Which guys sometimes are the worst.
Speaker 1: Oh god, yeah, you don't want it. First of all.
Speaker 3: No, this is very sexist, you know, to think that
Speaker 3: the protect I know I would never I hardly ever.
Speaker 1: I know I hardly ever defend men.
Speaker 3: But I have to say in defense of men in
Speaker 3: this one, like, you have everything you want and you're
Speaker 3: hung up on how much money you make.
Speaker 1: What if every man who supported every.
Speaker 3: Woman said that that's just silly, that's silliness, and that's
Speaker 3: old thinking.
Speaker 1: And you've been shaped by your society.
Speaker 4: And if he I'd rather be with a guy who
Speaker 4: loves his job and loves life. It makes me feel
Speaker 4: good about myself than a guy who's what you want him,
Speaker 4: a stockbroker that's like gone all the time.
Speaker 3: My friend sits on the couch, she doesn't even want
Speaker 3: to work anymore, and she loves him.
Speaker 1: She married him.
Speaker 4: Because I want to create a good life for us.
Speaker 4: And if that involves like me living my dream and
Speaker 4: me making money, yeah, we're all happy. You don't need
Speaker 4: finances from him, that's where you work, and he can
Speaker 4: never control you with finances.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, Thank your lucky stars, Thank you You're welcome.
Speaker 1: Problem solved, Good night, kicked your ass, Hannah. This was
Speaker 1: a delight, your Adela.
Speaker 4: This was so much fun.
Speaker 3: You guys want to go see Hannah on tour, you
Speaker 3: can go to her website Hannah Burner dot com.
Speaker 1: She's touring all over the country. Is that correct?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you can listen to her podcast, burn her
Speaker 3: phone and Giggly Squad.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Hannah Burner, Thank you, Chelsea Hm, thank you
Speaker 1: for being here.
Speaker 2: Okay, Chelsea, do you have some new dates for us?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 4: You know, I do?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 1: I have a lot of We added lots.
Speaker 3: Of Canadian cities, Canadians, I'm coming.
Speaker 1: We added about fifteen new tour dates.
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Denver again, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Richmond, Virginia,
Speaker 3: Santa Rosa, California, Gary and Diana, Baltimore, Rowna, New York
Speaker 3: and about seven dates in Canada. So go to Chelsea
Speaker 3: Handler dot com. I am performing everywhere. I will be
Speaker 3: on tour all for the rest of the year and
Speaker 3: through December, and then next year I'm going to be
Speaker 3: touring all year.
Speaker 1: So come and get it, you guys. It's good times and.
Speaker 3: It's a very much needed reprieve from all the fucking
Speaker 3: madness that's going on in this world.
Speaker 1: So I'm here to bring joy and sunshine.
Speaker 2: Do you have a holiday themed question for Chelsea? Please
Speaker 2: send us.
Speaker 5: All the questions that you need answered about crazy family
Speaker 5: get togethers, arguing over which cranberry sauce recipe to us,
Speaker 5: and all your holiday drama. Just send your questions to
Speaker 5: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is
Speaker 5: Edited and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law
Speaker 5: and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler
Speaker 5: dot com