WEBVTT - Living in Separate Houses with Hannah Berner 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:01.720 Hi, Catherine. 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:02.840 Oh hello, Chelsea. 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:04.760 Say you're at the end of November, which means it's 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:06.159 almost December. 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:08.560 Has this your gone so fast for you? 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:09.280 Yeah? 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:11.280 When I'm touring, things go by pretty quickly. 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:13.480 I'm sure. Do you just like blinking you are home 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:14.200 again after months? 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:14.480 Yeah? 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.759 I mean it's just been so crazy. Vanessa, the woman 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:19.959 who opens for me, I mean, I say woman, but 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:21.040 she's more of a baby. 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:23.000 I consider her to be my baby. 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:25.480 I mean, she's she says she's thirty eight, but whatever, 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:26.920 I don't believe it. That means I had her when 0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:29.920 I was twelve. No, thirty eight, I had her when 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:32.160 I was ten. It must have been rough. 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:33.440 Anyway. 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:37.080 She's become ridiculous on tour and her behavior is astonishing. 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:38.919 So I mean, I just don't even. 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:41.080 Do you have Do you have receipts? Do you have examples? 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:44.320 I have a lot of video footage of her shoplifting 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:45.320 and out of the green room. 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:47.479 She takes stuff from the green room. She goes grocery shopping. 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.519 I mean it's not really shoplifting, but it's just helping herself. 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:52.440 She goes through the green room and literally does her 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:54.400 grocery shopping through the green room, Like she's like, oh, 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:55.400 here's an orange and apple. 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:57.639 There's like a brick of cheddar and. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:00:59.639 Then she just puts it in her purse and then 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:01.520 like I'll be like, hey, do you have an edible? 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:05.280 And she's like takes out an orange, an apple, a banana, 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:08.480 she had like bags and nuts. I'm like, are you 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:14.640 are you treating this like a United flight? Like ridiculous? 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:17.119 And I mean we have had a really ridiculous time. 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:19.319 And she's very hard not to like cuddle and tickle, 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:22.200 you know that, because she's just so adorable. But I 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:23.840 have to keep my hands off of her because she's 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:26.200 she's going to claim allegations against workplace. 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:26.800 Workplace. 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:28.880 Yeah, I know, I know. I'm not good at that stuff. 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:29.880 I'm just too affectionate. 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:35.119 So our guest today does stand up, but she didn't 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:38.280 always do stand up, and she talked about like the 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:40.480 first time she did stand up, she was like, oh wait, 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:43.320 this is totally for me. Did you feel that way 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.000 when you started or no? 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:46.560 So I was just like, oh my god, this is 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:49.080 gonna give me so much diarrhea, Like it was so 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:53.000 nerve wrecking and just I just couldn't. Yeah, stand up 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:55.240 is scary Yeah, I mean, I'm so grateful I'm at 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:56.920 a place where I feel so in control of what 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.200 I'm doing and I know how to handle myself. But 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:01.920 stand up in the begin is very scary when people 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:03.600 like people are a dick. There are stand ups who 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.080 are addicted to being on stage and that can not 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:08.440 get off stage, and then there are stand ups who 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:10.160 are just like, you know, I'm not like that. 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:11.280 I'm not like I have to. 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:13.560 Be on stage for two hours or I have to 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:15.440 go do five sets when I have a week off. 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:17.840 I feel nothing like that. Yeah, but when I am 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:18.960 on stage. 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:21.040 I love it and I love, you know, telling a 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:23.080 story from beginning to end, which is basically what my 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:25.880 stand up is storytelling. Yeah, I mean I loved it, 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:28.320 but I was it was so scary that the scary 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.040 kind of was commensurate to the joy. 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:31.440 Well. 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:33.639 I feel like, especially for people who are starting out, 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:35.960 like you go into a room where stand up is 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.600 being performed, and like it's almost like the audience is 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.960 like daring you to fail, you know, in small rooms 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:43.880 or with starting comedians. 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.000 I feel like it must be so difficult to start 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.960 it is, But a good thing for everyone to remember 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:51.120 is if you're if you're doing that. And this applies 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.360 to anything, like when you have a fucking great attitude 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.920 and you get on stage and you're beaming, it is 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.880 infectious to the audience. So if you have a great 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:03.200 attitude and you're feeling positive and you're happy, you're gonna 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:05.799 do great. Everything's gonna go great, because even if you 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:09.280 tell a joke that bombs, your disposition will be so 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:12.000 fun and happy that it doesn't matter, you know what 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:13.720 I mean. You can laugh with the audience about not 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:14.440 getting laughs. 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:16.799 Yeah, yeah, Chelsea. Should we get to our guest. 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:19.960 You can find our guest today on her podcast, Burner 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:23.440 Phone and Giggly Squad. Tickets for her comedy tour are 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:27.760 available at Hannahburner dot com. Please welcome comedian, podcast host 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:31.640 and digital creator Hannah Burner. Okay, Hannah, we both have 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.799 the same publicists, so we have like three publicists that 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:34.840 are on there. 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:37.400 Don't say anything, so we're not allowed to say anything today. 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:39.040 And I told them, like, I mean, they must just 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:40.920 be listening to this to just you know, not have 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:41.760 to do anything for the. 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.040 Hour, because well they do, they do. 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:46.280 I love this is my first of all my pr 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:48.600 team and your PR team are the best PR teams. 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:49.600 No, they're for the girls. 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:50.800 I have never been. 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:52.880 I've been through so many publicists in this town, and 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.400 you know, I do have a difficult personality, but this 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.240 is the best publicity team I've ever worked. 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:58.520 You're a self aware of queen. 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:00.000 Yeah yeah, yeah. 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.119 They said good things about you because I wanted the tea. 0:04:02.200 --> 0:04:04.840 I was like, Chelsea, is she a monster? They were like, 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:06.040 we're obsessed with her. Yeah. 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:06.920 No, I'm a good girl. 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:07.680 Yeah, she's good. 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:09.480 Yeah. I take care of my people, and my people 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:10.040 take care of me. 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:12.240 So I also have to tell you we've met before. 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:13.840 Oh shit, no, all the time. 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:15.880 No, but it's not an embarrassing thing, like you missed 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:18.560 me right after college years ago. 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:19.840 How old are you. 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:22.599 I'm thirty two, So ten years ago. So I was 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:26.640 on the tennis teams. Yeah, they didn't let you take 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:30.679 too many classes. So after college I was teaching tennis 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:32.520 that summer in Shelter Island. 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:35.039 Oh, oh my god, I took a tennis class with you. 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:39.760 We played doubles together, babe, Andre, So he wasn't there, 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.479 your ex boy toy. I was getting paid by my 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:45.360 sugar grandpa to play doubles with these older men. 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.160 Sugar Grandpa to Sugar Grandpa. Does that mean you were 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:48.719 dating him? 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:51.359 No? But he was giving me too much money to 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:53.880 play tennis, like for a young twenty two year old. 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:56.719 It was like two hundred dollars for an hour. Oh 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:59.280 that was like lawyer money. No, I know, because they 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:01.159 didn't pay. But anyway, so I had to play doubles 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:04.440 with these old men and he goes, oh, Chelsea's coming today. 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:07.320 And I didn't know who you who Chelsea was, and 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:10.200 you show up and I'm like, oh, as a Chelsea 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:12.680 Lately fan, I was like, this is an awesome morning 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:15.680 that I didn't anticipate. And you turn to me and 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:19.719 you go, let's fucking beat these boys. And I got 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:22.120 so nervous. I like double faulted and you were like, no, 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:24.920 it's okay. And then we just demolished them. And then 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:27.480 I never saw you again, and I was like, Chelsea 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:29.640 night kicked ass. So that was. 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:32.640 So good. Right now, I. 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:34.640 Know tennis is like cool now. It wasn't cool when 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:35.200 I was a kid. 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:36.839 No, tennis is cool now, you know. 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:38.800 Well, pickleball is trying to be cool, but I wish 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:40.480 pick a ball would just shut the fuck up for 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:41.200 two seconds. 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:42.400 A cult. 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:45.480 Everyone wants to talk about pickleball all the time. It 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:46.560 is it's cult, Like. 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:48.719 It's cult that you stop talking to your family. You 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.600 only talk, you only dress in pick a ball outfits. 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:53.279 And any talk of sports right now, guys, you have 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.960 to know that I had knee surgery and any talk 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:58.440 of sports is like it hurts my knee because I'm 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:00.800 so excited. No, I got my fixed so that I 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:04.720 can ski this week, this week, this winter. I'm an 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:08.200 avid skier. So I got my knee scoped out, and 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:11.160 then I went home and I was all hopped up 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:16.839 on medication and anesthesiology, and I was feeling great. But 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:19.520 then you wake up and you're like, fuck, I can't 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:21.880 take all this medicaid. You feel like your body is 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:25.880 so polluted. Yeah, you just bloated, like from all of 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.120 the fluids they put you. I'm like, cool it with 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.280 the fluid, IV Like, I don't need that much fluid. 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:32.240 No, you're like an Olympic athlete that needs to be 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:34.240 ready for her I know, gold season. 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.560 So I had to limp in here like limp biscuits 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:38.280 and to meet with you. 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:40.280 But I'm happy that you're here in person, in New 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:40.800 York City. 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:43.320 Oh, thank you, This is like such an honor. But 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:44.919 I also my husband who. 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:46.479 Brought I can't believe you're married. 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:47.480 I know it's very off. 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:49.559 Oh yeah it is. 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:51.000 He's an older Like. 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.360 Don't strike me as someone who would be married when 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:55.960 I watch your videos online, which are very funny. By 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:58.840 the way, thank you're really funny. I like your attitude 0:06:58.920 --> 0:06:59.360 and your. 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:03.080 I think you paved the way for me. But yeah, 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:06.039 getting married was not a plan. It happened during the pandemic. 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:09.920 I'm at an older man. He's very tired, forty seven. Oh, 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:12.600 and he likes to golf, he likes to ski, he 0:07:12.760 --> 0:07:13.520 likes to chill. 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:15.600 How did you meet him during the pandemic when you're 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:17.280 supposed to stay six feet apart from people? 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:20.960 He dm me because I was in Shelter Island and 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:23.280 he was in like West Hampton, and he was like, 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:24.320 do you want to get coffee? 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:25.480 How did he know you? 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.800 Through the comedy world? But he lived in Ireland. He 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:32.920 actually small world. He's friends with Ursula Carlson and they 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:34.200 were working on a script one. 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:38.320 Oh yeah, I know last so she's hilarious. 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:40.239 Oh she's from New Zealand, right. 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:42.680 She's anyone from New Zealand makes me laugh, but she's 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:46.520 ridiculous next level. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait till the 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:47.360 States discovers. 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:49.400 I know we tried to do a show with her. 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:50.200 I think I don't. 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:52.080 Remember what he was on the show with. He was 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:52.800 like the co writer. 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:53.800 Oh that's funny. Wow. 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:57.240 Probably so you dated my husband before? Oh okay, so yeah. 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.520 We we got engaged in like six months and it 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:02.320 was kind of like, I decenter men from my life. 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.720 You want decenter men, decenterment because in like. 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.200 You don't make any decisions based on men, right, I. 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.800 See, Well, I like that phrasing. I've never heard that before. 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:11.680 Decenter men. 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:13.840 I think the gen Z girlies are saying it, but 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:15.920 I think you really live by that, Like you do. 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:18.600 What makes you happy brings you joy and if people 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:20.920 come great and if they don't, who gives a fuck. 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:23.840 But you're not gonna force or change things. 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:27.160 Or act or be The word desperate is very uh 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:29.960 you know when people I find things to be very 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.920 desperate sometimes when people talk when people are searching so 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:34.080 hard to find someone. 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.000 Yeah, there's a desperation to it. 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.400 And it's like, if you really were happy with yourself 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:41.080 and you can get to a place where you are really, 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:43.800 really happy. It's totally fine to want to meet somebody, 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:47.240 but to have that be like your main objective feels 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:48.920 like you're missing a piece of the pot. 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.240 Like you betray who you are to make someone like 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:53.160 you're you know, when you have a full plan of 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.160 like how to run into somebody, like I have a 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:57.719 full chart. Yeah, I'm like, Okay, he's gonna, you know, 0:08:57.800 --> 0:08:58.880 have to go to the bathroom at this time, and 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:01.280 I'm gonna run into him. And sometimes you do get 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:03.720 the guy, and then you're like, fuck, like this isn't me. 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.040 I forced this, and I don't like koam with him? 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:10.040 Well all so well, that of course, but that's you know, Listen, 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:13.480 in our twenties, we act like idiots because that's what 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.800 we're supposed to be doing, and you can obsess and 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:18.800 crave and I mean even sometimes in your thirties. Yeah, 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:20.520 and a lot of my thirties. It wasn't until my 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.120 forties that I had enough self confidence. And I'm like, wait, 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:25.800 I don't care if you like me first, that's not 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:27.320 enough for me to like you back. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.040 I know, the second you hear someone liked you, I'm like, 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:33.160 he's like cool, Like you could be a gremlin, and 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:35.040 I'm like, funny. 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:36.600 I have an experiment that I've been trying out with 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:39.120 myself for a while now where I don't even if 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.880 it's non sexual, you know, like just a person or 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:47.120 another celebrity or a regular person. Just because they dislike 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:49.240 me doesn't mean I don't like them. 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.120 You know what I mean. That's fucking I'm like, wow, 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:53.080 your opinion. 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.440 Of me has nothing to do with me anyway, So 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:56.040 I could still like you if you don't like me. 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:57.840 It's like a troll comments and you go, I love 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.400 your sweater. I love your sweater and your profile picture. 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:03.240 You're gorgeous, You're stunning. But sometimes it also doesn't have 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:06.240 to do with you. They're projecting their shit. So anyway, 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:08.160 this guy came along and he was out of time 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.000 in my life. I was very focused on myself, and 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:12.280 I was like, this is nice. It's nice to have 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.160 a husband in a way, like obviously all not all 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.760 husbands are the same, different ratings per husband, but I 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.240 don't have to stress about dating. It's kind of like, okay, check, 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:23.280 I have this like partner in crime, and now I 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.840 could focus on myself and he's very like, I'm very 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:27.640 I'm on the road all the time, Like I've never 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:28.040 seen him. 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:28.840 That's right, you're on Twitter. 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:29.720 I've seen him forever. 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:30.679 Do you like being on the road. 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.840 I like being on the road because my apartment's a mess. 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:35.800 So i walk into a hotel room and I'm like 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:39.040 a monster. I'm like, why did no one clean these tablets? Yeah, 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.560 and I'm like, I love living that simple life. I 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:43.839 also like saying I'm on the road and people leave 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:44.320 me alone. 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:46.000 It's the right way to get out of shit. 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.640 I'm just napping, Like I'm napping from two to five 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:49.640 and then I go on stage. 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.400 I wish I could nap. I can't nap. 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.360 It's a gift, it is. I don't know why I 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:56.360 don't have that gene. But if I take a nap. 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:57.800 First of all, if I took a three hour nap, 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:00.319 I would be dead when I woke up. I get 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:02.960 up early and I need and I even when I'm tired, 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:04.280 I just cannot sleep during the day. 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:05.640 It doesn't matter what is going on. 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:07.440 Well, I was telling our PR team, I was like, 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:09.680 don't put me on anything before like ten am, because 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.040 I'm a big sleeper. I also, I think I deal 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.400 with some depression where like, I mean, I could fall 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.800 asleep anywhere, and so it's almost nice for me to rest. 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:19.240 But then, yeah, I don't know what state I am in. 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.000 I don't know where I am, but the adrenaline hits 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:23.480 me when I get on stage. Yeah, but I enjoy 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:25.439 the road. But I'm also lucky now that I'm like 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.400 I'm doing theaters now where women. I mean, we could 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:30.280 talk forever about this, but like, being a woman on 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:34.920 the road is difficult. It's difficult being alone, especially if 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:37.520 you like can't afford ubers or you're just you put 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:39.640 in a lot of awkward situations that aren't ideal. 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:40.960 Can you not afford ubers? 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:41.480 No? I can. 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:43.760 Yeah, I mean it's the definitely. 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:45.959 But I'm saying back in the day, like girls starting 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:47.000 in comedy. 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:50.480 It's unsafe. It is unsafe. It is unsafe. I never drew. 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:52.560 I bet we didn't even have ubers when I started. 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:54.719 I just drove myself everywhere. 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:56.200 So I'm from New York City, so I don't even 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:58.160 have a license. I couldn't have made it in comedy 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:00.880 ten years ago because I don't have a like I 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.000 would have like walked on the highway to my gigs. 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.680 Oh yeah, well can't you take the train or the subway? 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.440 Oh gosh, yeah, that's difficult. 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:09.640 A lot of admin planning. 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.160 Oh listen, all I do is admin all day long. 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:14.000 That's what I do. In my hotel that I stay 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:14.480 in New York. 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:16.200 They have a club lounge and I always tell my 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.360 assistant from five to seven, which is happy hour, I'm like, 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:19.680 I have to go upstairs into admin. 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:22.640 No, the amount of planes and hotels and you mess 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:24.720 up one thing, it's your name on the bill. 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:27.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:28.560 So it's a miracle. We made it here today. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:31.480 It is a miracle, thank God, especially with her small miracles. 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:34.320 Once. Yeah, my JANKI need that. I'm rapping right now. 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:36.240 It looks like I'm masturbating under the table, but I'm 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:37.160 just soothing myself. 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:38.480 I'm self soothing. 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:40.400 But I want to stay with this. I love that 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:44.120 with this older man. He loves skiing and I'm an athlete. 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:45.320 But I never skied before. 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:46.600 You never skied. 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:48.840 I never. I wasn't allowed to gouse a tennis. 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:49.360 Oh. 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.120 My parents would be like, God forbid you get injured. 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.320 You can't whatever it is. 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:57.160 I'm Renee Stubs you mentioned when they came in. Okay, 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.319 let's talk about Renee Stubs because she's a friend of mine. 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.040 Is she a friend of your? She makes her way 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:03.360 around Manhattan in a way I've never seen. I have 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.120 had more people come out to me going, I know 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.400 you're friends with dinner Rene Stubs. I'm like, what is 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.400 Renee Stubs walking around with a fucking sign that says 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:10.160 I'm friends with Chelsea? 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.280 Remember, Renee Stubbs is part of I call it the 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.839 power lesbian community of Nity. Yes, and I'm trying to 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.200 rub shoulders with that. I think the lesbians, I think 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.920 they push the door down for the straits because they 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:22.960 don't give a fuck what most what men think, right, 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:24.760 and they just do it. So I was talking to 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:26.760 her on her tennis show. She's like, all comedian, I know, 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:28.280 Chelsea Handler and I was like, oh yeah, I've heard 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:30.920 of her as a comic and I messaged it this morning. 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:32.679 I was like any advice, and she's like, you know, 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:36.320 in her Australian accent over text, just be yourself, you know, 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:38.200 treat her like your sister. And I was like, okay, 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:39.640 I don't know what that means thank you. 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.000 I don't know what that means. I'm seeing that. 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.720 I'm seeing Renee that big lesbian tomorrow night for dinner. 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.199 There's drama in the lesbian world time. 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:49.880 Oh no, no, there's listen. The lesbians are taking me. 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.080 They are trying to capture me in TikTok? 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:52.840 Are you on it now? 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:54.880 What's going on? Lesbian TikTok? 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:55.560 Sorts of drama? 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:57.520 I can't go online right now, it's too upsetting. I 0:13:57.720 --> 0:13:59.240 can't look at social media right now. 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:04.040 I know I'm pretending the lesbian dramas like your world episthetic. 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:05.559 That's the only thing that's going on, right. You have 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:06.600 to distract yourself. 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.240 So you how long into dating your husband did you 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:10.640 realize that you were going to marry him? 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:12.320 You were like, I'm in love with you. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:13.360 Good question. 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:15.040 Do you think he would have married him had it 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:15.840 not been for COVID? 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.680 Great question? All valid questions, Yeah questions. He should be 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.560 asking the questions. And now I'm regretting not thinking about No. 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:25.120 I my parents got engaged in four months, so I 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:27.120 had this like fake love story in my head that 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:28.640 like that's how it's going to be, Like if I 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:30.120 was with a guy for a year. I'm like, this 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:33.640 isn't magical. He's not the one, right, So during honestly 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:36.320 early on he kind of was like, yeah, I want 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:39.280 to marry you. I think he was and a first 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:41.080 time my classic. He's a comedian, so I was like, oh, 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:42.200 it's probably a comedian. 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:43.760 Narcissist and I'd be irish. 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:46.440 Or he grew up in Queens and then he lived 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.080 in Ireland since he was fourteen. Okay, so he became 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.880 a big comedian in Ireland. Oh but now he's back 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.600 because of COVID. And it was kind of this, like, 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.120 we'll see I've never dated an older guy, could be 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:58.640 like a creepy uncle, Like you never know. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:03.840 Uncle Gary. That's every creepy uncle is Gary. 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:05.720 Yeah, you change it to Gary even if it's not. 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.240 Gary's not a hot name. I named a dog Gary 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:09.080 and I had to return him. 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:14.240 So yeah, we hit it off and I got engaged 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.280 in six months, but it was COVID time, so I 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:19.720 say it's dog years e time seven. And to be 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:22.320 perfectly blunt, you know, he was at a time in 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:25.200 his life where like he wasn't touring anymore, but now 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.720 like he just enables me. He literally said, like, I 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:29.280 want to chill. I don't care about the fame or 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:32.480 the money, like I'm tired. I just you can go work. 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.720 And I was like that's a dream. Well yeah, like yeah, 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:37.760 it's better than sex. Tell me that every night. 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:39.320 And do you guys have a lot of sex? 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.560 We do? That's good because I think we're not we're 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:44.400 not roommates. We don't see each other that all. 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:46.760 I think that's the key ingredient for all relationships is 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:47.680 you can't see each other. 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:48.440 I have to. 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.680 I just had to inject myself in my thigh this 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:52.760 morning with something that is going to help with my 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.760 sex drive because I have no desire to fuck anyone. 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:57.760 And I've been keeping going. 0:15:57.760 --> 0:15:59.880 I keep going on these kind of quasi dates or 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.560 like going out with guys trying to drum up some 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:04.640 business and then I'm like looking at them, going I 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:06.200 just want to be in my bed, like I don't 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:07.400 even want to fuck you, and. 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:08.400 I'm like something's wrong with me. 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:11.600 And I can't take testosterone because my hair thinned the 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.040 last time I took that. And it's not like I'm 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:15.800 gonna be bald and horny, you know what I mean, Like, 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:17.600 what's the point of that, I can go about ladder. 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:19.120 So I was like, forget me. 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:21.080 So I went to my yeah and get back me. 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.200 So I went to my anti aging doctor and I 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:24.520 was like, listen, you got to give me something for 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.240 sex drive because I don't think I have it. I'm like, 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:28.640 I've tried to have sex like three times. 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:30.640 Because you were really horny when you were younger. 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.360 Well, no, not horny, but like I could get excited. 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:33.640 I'm not. 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.720 I've never been boy crazy. That's not my personality. But 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.360 I do love that about you. But also it's like, wait, 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.200 why do we have so much pressure? Like you know, 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:43.240 if I go a few months without having sex, I'm like, 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.400 oh shit, I better have sex. And it's like why 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:48.120 why do I need to have sex? But apparently I 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.600 think I do. So anyway, I injected myself this morning 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:52.520 with some thiga emocin or I don't know what the 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:54.480 fuck it's called, and we'll see if that drums up 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:56.720 any sexual feelings for me, because. 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:58.920 Well, people don't talk about how sex is oftentimes a 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:01.880 bad experience, especial when it's like a new guy or something. 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.639 It's weird, and I'm like, I my night would have 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:08.000 been better without it. I think it's for us. And 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:09.280 I always said I didn't want to be with a 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:11.160 comic because I've moved with a comic before and it 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:14.919 wasn't great. But with him, I was. We really like 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:18.920 he I respect him mentally, which is crazy to think, 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:20.760 but like it's like you need to find someone that 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:23.600 their love language is laughter with you and you feel 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:27.359 excited about like riffing with them, and that's like your foreplay. 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.520 That's the hotness. Like we talk on the phone a lot, 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:32.800 that's like our thing. Yeah, it's not like, oh I 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.639 need a fuck you now, it's like right talking, we 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:37.520 just talk. We don't we don't shut up. 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.080 And does he work now at all? 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:41.040 He's working. He's still doing comedy and stuff. We have 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:42.480 podcasts together burner phone. 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:43.480 Oh that's together with you. 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:45.760 Yeah, so he's good. But I just I just want 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.000 him to like be confident enough to like let me 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:50.159 do my thing and support me. And he's he is. 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:50.640 Yeah. 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:52.680 That's important because a lot of men come across as 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:55.600 like they are confident or they see are seemingly confident, 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:57.879 and then when it comes down to it, they're fucking paranoid. 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.800 They're jealous. They're not confident. 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:01.680 Yeah, and then you're like, I just want to love you, 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:03.840 and they're acting weird towards you, and then you realize 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:05.159 you have to baby them and be like, I'm so 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:06.159 proud of you. 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:06.600 Yeah. 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:10.040 The distance is very important for any independent woman because 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:12.680 it is so annoying to have to spend every single 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:16.480 second with somebody. And I also don't appreciate having to 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.960 FaceTime with people on ohime when you're in a relationship, 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:22.440 because holding up the fucking phone while you're talking, it's like, 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:24.639 wait a second, this is like two exercise you're going to. 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:27.200 I could talk to you, but I need the lights 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:28.720 off and I want to be in bedlining down, you know, 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:29.920 with my AirPods in or whatever. 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:31.159 I don't need to be looking at you. 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:33.440 Also, I'm staring at myself the whole time. 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:33.840 Exactly. 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:35.640 I want to be able to scroll Instagram while. 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.119 Talking, exactly Exactly. 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:39.040 I had a friend once, not a boyfriend, this is 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:41.680 a friend friend, And anytime I would be on the phone, 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.240 reading an email or on social media or anything while 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:46.119 I was on the phone, he could be talking and 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:47.200 he'd go, what are you reading? 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:48.600 And on my business? 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:50.480 Why do you know that I'm reading something? Like, how 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:51.840 can you tell? He's like, I can tell by the 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:52.800 way you're breathing. 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.000 Like your eyes are going left right, Like, well, that 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:55.359 would be. 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:57.240 Really annoying if we were fucking face timing, because then 0:18:57.280 --> 0:18:58.280 you fucking know for sure? 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:00.479 Do you want to know something wild? He had an 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.680 apartment and the person, older woman passed away next door, 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:06.359 and I bought the apartment next door, so I have 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:07.520 my own apartment next to his. 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:09.240 Oh god, that's solid. 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:10.120 Yeah. 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:11.880 Where do you guys live in Brooklyn? 0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:12.920 We live in the Lower east Side. 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:15.000 Okay, I'm thinking about moving to New York. I'm going 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:16.280 to look at a bunch of apartments tomorrow. 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:17.399 And you're such a New Yorker. 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:18.200 I know it's. 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:20.160 Articulous that I've never lived here. I'm like almost I'm 0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:21.800 forty eight years old, so I've never lived. 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:22.120 In your city. 0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:25.399 Jewish, I know, with open arms, I know, I know, 0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:27.200 I know. Well, you'd have to accept me because I'm 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:29.560 New Jersey. Yeah, I'm from New Jersey. 0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:31.119 But sorry, I mean to call you out. 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:35.840 It's a tri state area, yes, yes, the Tri state area. 0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:38.000 As long as you're not from like upstate, you know. 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:41.120 No, no, no, I'm not from upstate. Okay, what else 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:42.320 do you want to tell me about yourself? 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:44.520 Oh? But I did want to talk about skiing with you, okay, 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:46.399 because that's our biggest issue. That's big. 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:46.679 Oh. 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:47.920 I like your little furry arms. 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:49.919 You're cute, very sweaty. Right now, I'm sorry. 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:51.280 Look how much I like your harry. 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:52.280 I'm half Italian. 0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:53.840 Oh yeah, I can see it. It's cute. 0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:58.520 Are we flirting? No? Okay, so I think that I 0:19:58.600 --> 0:19:59.480 want to like skiing. 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:02.480 But what did you say? You had a ski accident? 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:05.639 I had a ski accident because I really wanted to 0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:07.959 be good at skiing, and it's it's a weird thing 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:09.639 because I'm competitive, but like, you just get to the 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:11.760 bond of the mountain. So I'm like bored and scared 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:14.640 and then I cry all the time. Why well, I'm 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:16.520 like new to it, so I'm like in a buchry, 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:18.679 I will always find find a bush. I'm crying, but 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:20.199 then I'll be like, oh no, it's really cold, I'm 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:23.800 not crying, which I think is like I want to 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:26.159 know why you love skiing because I I want to 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:27.879 get the bug because all he wants to do is ski, 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:31.640 but I can't. We can't change ourselves. For men. Why 0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:32.119 do you love it? 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:35.639 Because it's freeing, Like I love well, you are topless too. 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:37.760 I do it, yeah, but not all the time. I 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:39.359 even love it when I'm wearing clothes. I love it 0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:41.719 even more when I'm fucking naked, because there's just something 0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:43.200 so freeing about skiing down. 0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:44.600 I'm not taking it's so good. 0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:44.879 I know. 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:47.160 They're the best, my best feature. I can't believe I've did. 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:49.240 I just I'm like, oh my god. Anytime anyone sees 0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:50.680 them for the first time, they're like, oh my god, 0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:52.840 are those real. I'm like, yeah, they're real. 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:56.639 Bounce up, and then they're like athletic tits too, like 0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:57.800 I can do stuff with them. 0:20:57.800 --> 0:21:00.040 I'm not against plastic surgery because I'll do that, but 0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:02.320 I wouldn't get fake boobs, you know what I mean. 0:21:02.359 --> 0:21:04.600 If anything, I would prefer smaller boobs because I've had 0:21:04.720 --> 0:21:06.080 my whole life, so I'm used to them, so they're 0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:07.880 not that fun for me anymore. Yeah, but it feels 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:09.359 That's the other reason why I want to up my 0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:11.399 sex drive, because it feels shmeful to waste this body. 0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:13.560 My body is so smoking that it's like I feels 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:14.399 like I need to share it. 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:16.119 You know, do you feel like the best part of 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:18.920 sex is like the foreplay before of like the teasing 0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:20.679 like will we will we not? Then once you do it, 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:23.120 you're always just like okay. 0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:24.920 Yeah, well it's always good when you do it. Yeah, 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:28.320 But back to skiing, always a freedom. There's a freedom 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:31.399 in skiing down a mountain and being just like and 0:21:31.600 --> 0:21:33.359 just ripping down a mountain, like. 0:21:33.480 --> 0:21:34.480 I love it. 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:38.240 I love the sense of like strength, the strength of 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:42.080 like the sense of freedom. I love being outside in 0:21:42.080 --> 0:21:45.080 that cold weather, Like it's very invigorating to me, that feeling. 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:47.160 It's not for everybody because a lot of people don't 0:21:47.200 --> 0:21:47.640 like the cold. 0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:49.480 You definitely get out of your own head when you're 0:21:49.480 --> 0:21:51.119 there because you have to be in the moment to focus. 0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:53.000 What do you think about the douchey snowboarders though, like 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:53.320 they're like. 0:21:53.920 --> 0:21:55.919 Yeah, I mean, sleigh boarders aren't my favorite. 0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:57.719 The only time I've ever been hit was a has 0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:00.680 been by a snowboarder, right, I almost no boarded into 0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:02.359 me several times at my friends. 0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:04.639 The only boards I want is a Charcuteri board, Like 0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:05.280 that's all I want. 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:08.320 I don't even like charcouterie anymore. I've decided I'm over sharkcuterie. 0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:11.520 I take, yeah, hot take is right, I'm Charcuterie feels 0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:12.080 passe to me. 0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:13.920 Well, I've never finished one, and then I always feel 0:22:13.920 --> 0:22:14.920 guilty because I had, Like. 0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:17.960 I'm back on the cheese, cheese and harmone because harmone 0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:19.440 is what they have in Spain, and I spend a 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.840 lot of time in Spain, and I fucking love hormone. 0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:25.159 But that's the only kind of like meat dish I 0:22:25.200 --> 0:22:27.639 want at that. I'm over charcuterie. 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:30.520 I do like the food associated with skiing, though, because 0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:32.560 hot chocolate you could drink at any time, and no 0:22:32.560 --> 0:22:32.800 one does. 0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:34.000 I drink margarita's. 0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:37.160 I go in for eleven o'clock margarita break at eleven am, 0:22:37.200 --> 0:22:38.800 I go in for my first margarita. Then I go 0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:41.360 back at one, and that actually gives me a more 0:22:41.400 --> 0:22:44.040 sense of like. I even am more fearless once I 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:46.760 have a little alcohol in my system, you know, for skiing. 0:22:46.840 --> 0:22:50.760 Because my ski buddies in Canada where I ski, are hardcore. 0:22:50.920 --> 0:22:52.440 They are not fucking around. 0:22:52.520 --> 0:22:54.159 They're doing black So that's why I have to get 0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:56.640 knee surgery to get so I can ski and keep 0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:57.439 up with my friends. 0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:00.119 I love how your ski season like everything revolves on. 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:02.440 Your ski oh everything everything having. 0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:04.560 A like you have a legit hobby, and I feel 0:23:04.560 --> 0:23:06.399 like so many people don't have hobbies and it's so 0:23:06.440 --> 0:23:09.000 beautiful that you love anything as much as you love skiing. 0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:09.520 Well, thank you. 0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:11.520 I was dating the Sky a few years ago, right 0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:13.800 before I went away to Whistler for like three months. Yes, 0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:16.160 I go, now I'm going to Whistler and he's like, okay, 0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:17.399 so how long are you to be there? And I 0:23:17.440 --> 0:23:19.800 was like three months and he was like, am I 0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:20.640 going to visit you there? 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:21.640 And I was like, do you ski? 0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:22.439 Can you keep up? 0:23:22.480 --> 0:23:24.600 And he's like, well, I mean I haven't skied. I 0:23:24.640 --> 0:23:26.560 was like, no, then you're not visiting me, Like it's over. 0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:29.080 I'm not babysitting you on This relationship is over. Now 0:23:29.160 --> 0:23:32.000 we're not doing pizza skis together. That's not hot. It 0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:34.600 gives you the egg A guy doing pizza skiing. 0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:36.560 No, So I just don't even like that's how committed 0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:38.119 to skiing I am that even if I'm in the 0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:40.280 throes of a romance, I'll will prefer to go and 0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:41.600 leave that person to go skiing. 0:23:41.840 --> 0:23:44.080 I love that, but I was actually Whistler when. 0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:45.840 I got injured, but what was your injury? 0:23:46.000 --> 0:23:47.880 So I was on a green and it was called 0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:48.800 like easy out. 0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:50.840 Or I know exactly what you're talking about, Yeah, easy out. 0:23:50.920 --> 0:23:52.399 And it was like early in the morning, so it 0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:54.240 was very choppy, and I was a little cocky, like 0:23:54.720 --> 0:23:57.560 does my husband would make me do three hour lessons, 0:23:57.680 --> 0:23:59.679 get lunch, then show him what I learned. Like it 0:23:59.720 --> 0:24:02.840 was very very intense, but I want to be like loved. 0:24:02.960 --> 0:24:05.159 And my dad was my tennis coach, so it's like 0:24:05.200 --> 0:24:07.200 some deep the everything, and I'm just like, I will 0:24:07.200 --> 0:24:09.320 be great for this man. So I'm showing off. I'm 0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:12.439 like I'm getting my you know, rhythm, and I hid 0:24:12.520 --> 0:24:16.240 an edge and I fell onto my hand, like my 0:24:16.320 --> 0:24:18.800 whole body fell on my hand, and then like my 0:24:18.880 --> 0:24:21.520 hand kind of got crushed and I had to call 0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:24.400 the the was it called Sheboygan. 0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:29.400 With the Sheboygan a place in Wisconsin, part of board. 0:24:30.960 --> 0:24:31.639 The Toboggan. 0:24:31.760 --> 0:24:36.600 It's the Pagan Tobogganaboygan. 0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:37.960 So New York. I have no idea anything outside New York. 0:24:38.600 --> 0:24:41.760 The Toboggan came so dramatic because it's just. 0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:43.679 My pinky And so when you broke your pinky. 0:24:43.880 --> 0:24:48.439 I basically crushed like all my knuckles. It was bad, 0:24:48.840 --> 0:24:52.080 and I'm getting frostbite because it's like our a and 0:24:52.160 --> 0:24:54.159 I'm just lying there and there's a video of me 0:24:54.240 --> 0:24:58.000 going down the sheboygan and it was so dramasaically. 0:24:58.880 --> 0:25:02.040 And how did your boyfriend react to that? He's sympathetic 0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:02.679 to your injury. 0:25:02.920 --> 0:25:05.200 He was, but he thinks that I manifested it, which 0:25:05.240 --> 0:25:06.560 I think I did because I didn't really want to 0:25:06.600 --> 0:25:08.040 go skiing that day. You know, when you're just like 0:25:08.280 --> 0:25:10.359 what if I just you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, chucked 0:25:10.359 --> 0:25:12.479 myself down the mount because I was tired. I was 0:25:12.520 --> 0:25:15.080 doing like tons of shows and I was like, I 0:25:15.119 --> 0:25:17.760 don't want to go skiing this morning, and he's really good. 0:25:18.280 --> 0:25:19.480 Have you been skiing since then? 0:25:19.760 --> 0:25:21.959 So I have some shows coming up in like Denver 0:25:22.000 --> 0:25:26.600 and Aspen and we're seeing he bought me the like pass, 0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:30.560 so he's trying to get me back by compass. Yeah yeah, yeah, 0:25:30.600 --> 0:25:31.560 so he's pressuring me. 0:25:31.760 --> 0:25:34.119 Yeah, I had a boyfriend once who didn't care. I 0:25:34.160 --> 0:25:37.840 had a torn ACL from skiing. Again, this is years ago. 0:25:38.160 --> 0:25:40.200 All I do is hurt myself. So I had a 0:25:40.240 --> 0:25:43.159 torn acl years ago in Switzerland and Zermatt. I was 0:25:43.359 --> 0:25:45.520 also on ecstasy when I went to that accident, so 0:25:45.560 --> 0:25:48.080 I just want to be very honest about that, and 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:50.960 they manafact me. I'm too a helicopter off the mountain. 0:25:51.040 --> 0:25:53.119 My friends were all like, you're a fucking loser. And 0:25:53.160 --> 0:25:56.200 then I went to Rome and like Florence and some parts. 0:25:56.000 --> 0:25:57.600 Of Italy, on the half of your leg is like 0:25:57.640 --> 0:25:58.120 hanging out, and. 0:25:58.040 --> 0:26:00.240 I'm just well, basically, I was like, iowa win to 0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:02.600 get the surgery because I was already on vacation, and 0:26:02.640 --> 0:26:04.200 I was like, oh, I'll just tape it every day 0:26:04.280 --> 0:26:06.919 or wrap it, wrap it, and but my boyfriend just 0:26:06.960 --> 0:26:09.280 had no regard for my health, like at all. Like 0:26:09.480 --> 0:26:11.080 I'd get home every night, my knee would be like 0:26:11.080 --> 0:26:13.280 the size of a water balloon and I'd have to 0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:16.040 elevate it ice it for like three hours and he 0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:18.240 was just like, all right, tomorrow we're going to the coliseum. 0:26:18.280 --> 0:26:21.359 I'm like, fuck off. And so that so it's very 0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:23.159 important when people care about your well being. 0:26:23.240 --> 0:26:24.520 You learned about it well. 0:26:24.520 --> 0:26:27.399 I ly right hand, but I also look, so what 0:26:27.440 --> 0:26:29.480 does that mean? So like, oh, because you're right it 0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:31.080 so I. 0:26:31.000 --> 0:26:34.719 Couldn't jerk my husband. You know when you put your 0:26:34.760 --> 0:26:37.360 in a ponytail. Yes, you knew how important that was. 0:26:37.560 --> 0:26:39.600 I couldn't do it, and he was trying to do it, 0:26:39.600 --> 0:26:42.040 and I'm like, that's the ugly ponytail, babe. And then 0:26:42.080 --> 0:26:44.960 I couldn't text fast because I couldn't use my hand. 0:26:45.160 --> 0:26:47.840 So that was a nightmare. Oh so do voice messages? 0:26:47.840 --> 0:26:49.000 All my friends were annoyed at me. 0:26:49.200 --> 0:26:51.680 Yeah, I've never ever once recorded a voice message, but 0:26:51.720 --> 0:26:55.359 I receive them. You know, they disappeared too, they vanish, sketchy. 0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.120 Why is that it's so unnecessary? 0:26:58.200 --> 0:26:58.560 Yeah, I know. 0:26:58.640 --> 0:26:59.800 It's like, what do you think I'm gonna do for 0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:02.000 your message to someone else? Meanwhile, that's how I found 0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:03.320 out advantaged because I was trying to. 0:27:03.240 --> 0:27:03.840 Do that very thing. 0:27:04.160 --> 0:27:05.680 Okay, we have to take a break and we'll be 0:27:05.760 --> 0:27:08.080 right back, Catherine. We're taking a break. 0:27:08.160 --> 0:27:15.639 Amazing, and we're back. We're back. 0:27:15.880 --> 0:27:19.280 It's so fast, Okay, Catherine, what do we what's going 0:27:19.320 --> 0:27:19.760 on today? 0:27:19.800 --> 0:27:21.479 Catherine? We've barely heard a peep out of here. 0:27:22.480 --> 0:27:25.720 So we've got a bunch of very fun questions for Hannah. 0:27:25.760 --> 0:27:30.480 But I think let's start with a little wedding question, 0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:32.840 a little a marriage question. 0:27:32.960 --> 0:27:33.840 It's like your wheel hill. 0:27:35.880 --> 0:27:40.240 Bianca says, Dear Chelsea, my best friend of thirteen years 0:27:40.359 --> 0:27:43.880 is getting married. She's my sister and my lifelong soulmate. 0:27:44.280 --> 0:27:46.159 I'm her maid of honor and will of course have 0:27:46.200 --> 0:27:47.399 to give a speech at the wedding. 0:27:47.880 --> 0:27:49.040 The speech will most likely. 0:27:48.960 --> 0:27:51.760 Be during the ceremony, and I believe the best man 0:27:51.800 --> 0:27:53.560 will go the funny route, so I want to keep 0:27:53.560 --> 0:27:57.600 it classy, sentimental and sweet. However, I don't see the 0:27:57.680 --> 0:28:02.400 spark with her fiance, and I'm feeling he's so uninspired. 0:28:01.680 --> 0:28:02.760 In writing this speech. 0:28:03.240 --> 0:28:04.240 Break up the wedding. 0:28:05.080 --> 0:28:07.679 She loves him dearly and they're building a life together, 0:28:07.960 --> 0:28:09.879 and I trust her decision and choosing him as a 0:28:09.880 --> 0:28:13.359 partner for her life. But sometimes I'm like, really, this guy, 0:28:13.960 --> 0:28:16.560 nothing is wrong with him necessarily other than having the 0:28:16.600 --> 0:28:17.760 personality of a rock. 0:28:18.119 --> 0:28:19.760 How do I find inspiration? 0:28:20.119 --> 0:28:23.720 Sincerely, Bianca, I think that's your speech right there. 0:28:25.840 --> 0:28:28.720 Well, I would focus your speech on your friend and 0:28:28.880 --> 0:28:31.600 just make it about all of the incredible things you 0:28:31.600 --> 0:28:35.000 can say about her and how lucky he is to 0:28:35.080 --> 0:28:38.680 be marrying her, and you don't have to vouch for 0:28:38.800 --> 0:28:42.400 him necessarily or talk about their connection obviously at the end, 0:28:42.440 --> 0:28:44.080 you want to say, like, I'm so glad that you 0:28:44.120 --> 0:28:46.760 found someone who appreciates all these things, you know, to 0:28:46.800 --> 0:28:49.440 really drive it home, but you not getting the spark 0:28:49.480 --> 0:28:53.120 between them is really not important information for your speech. Yeah, 0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:55.000 you have to be a good friend right now, and 0:28:55.080 --> 0:28:57.080 she loves him and she's getting married and he's not 0:28:57.120 --> 0:28:59.959 an asshole or abusive or anything like that that you've mentioned, 0:29:00.120 --> 0:29:02.320 So there's no reason to take a stand other than 0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:04.800 just try to make a great speech about what an 0:29:04.800 --> 0:29:07.320 incredible person she is and list just some of your 0:29:07.320 --> 0:29:08.400 favorite memories of her. 0:29:08.600 --> 0:29:10.280 That's good. I mean you don't have to put together 0:29:10.520 --> 0:29:12.680 like a whole thesis statement essay. I like, I love 0:29:12.720 --> 0:29:15.320 a quick speech. I'll have a three four minute solid 0:29:15.320 --> 0:29:18.480 to the point. And also I don't know her personality, 0:29:18.480 --> 0:29:20.480 but like you can be funny too, girl. Yeah, we 0:29:20.600 --> 0:29:23.720 did speeches and my husband was like killing in his speech, 0:29:23.800 --> 0:29:24.880 like last per minute. 0:29:24.960 --> 0:29:27.960 You guys were making speeches. That's funny. 0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:29.400 I think it's an Irish tradition. 0:29:29.560 --> 0:29:32.760 Oh that's funny. Well, good for him, since he's not 0:29:32.800 --> 0:29:36.840 fucking Irish. I mean it's Irish tradition, I guess because. 0:29:36.640 --> 0:29:39.000 He's lived there the last like thirty years. So he's like, 0:29:39.040 --> 0:29:40.560 this is what we do. And I was like, okay, 0:29:40.560 --> 0:29:42.560 now I have to perform my own fucking wedding and 0:29:42.640 --> 0:29:44.840 he's killing and then I'm realizing I have to follow him, 0:29:44.880 --> 0:29:46.520 so I'm not listening to his speech. I'm going through 0:29:46.520 --> 0:29:49.320 my notes in my set, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:29:49.320 --> 0:29:51.560 So I slowed, like, slow it down after the best 0:29:51.560 --> 0:29:53.760 man crushes, slow it down, you know, get the audience 0:29:53.800 --> 0:29:57.080 calm again. Yeah, and I was like sweet, and then 0:29:57.120 --> 0:29:59.000 I made a joke like I wish I met you earlier, 0:29:59.080 --> 0:30:00.880 like when you were in your twenty but I would 0:30:00.880 --> 0:30:02.960 have been in kindergarten. And then we got like a 0:30:02.960 --> 0:30:05.560 little laplause break and I was like fuck you, I win, 0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:07.920 and then I danced the night away. So don't be 0:30:07.960 --> 0:30:09.960 afraid to be funny just because the best man's gonna 0:30:09.960 --> 0:30:11.960 be funny. Yeah, like you can crush a two. 0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:13.400 Yeah, I agree with that too. 0:30:13.880 --> 0:30:16.440 I've been in this situation before too, where like one 0:30:16.480 --> 0:30:19.040 of my best girlfriends, like she dated this really fun 0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:20.880 guy and he was awesome. They traveled, they did all 0:30:20.920 --> 0:30:23.200 this stuff, and then the guy she wound up marrying 0:30:23.280 --> 0:30:27.480 was just like this very kind of boring guy playing vanilla, 0:30:27.520 --> 0:30:31.040 and you know what they are now, like fifteen years later, 0:30:31.160 --> 0:30:34.120 like so happy, three kids living in the suburbs, and 0:30:34.120 --> 0:30:35.200 I'm like, who knew. 0:30:35.440 --> 0:30:37.160 She's like thrilled with her life. 0:30:37.320 --> 0:30:40.400 They're deeply in love even though he's like still very boring, 0:30:40.520 --> 0:30:41.520 but that's what she wanted. 0:30:41.600 --> 0:30:43.880 So yeah, you know a lot of people want boring man. 0:30:44.160 --> 0:30:45.440 Yeah, exactly. 0:30:45.480 --> 0:30:48.440 I remember talking to my dad about this exact friend 0:30:48.600 --> 0:30:50.440 and I'm like, you know this guy, he's just like 0:30:50.480 --> 0:30:53.840 so vanilla, and my dad goes, you know what, a 0:30:53.840 --> 0:30:56.920 lot of people love vanilla ice cream. It's not exciting, 0:30:57.080 --> 0:31:00.000 it's not Rocky Road, but vanilla ice cream. 0:31:00.000 --> 0:31:01.400 I still have an Ali scream. 0:31:01.480 --> 0:31:02.840 What kind of wedding did you have? 0:31:03.160 --> 0:31:07.480 So we honestly, if I'm being open with people, Elope 0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:10.120 like just alope. We had a beautiful We had a 0:31:10.160 --> 0:31:12.640 beautiful wedding in West Hampton. It was great. We brought 0:31:12.640 --> 0:31:16.000 the families together, but it adds up. It gets so expensive. 0:31:16.440 --> 0:31:19.200 And also, as a comedian, like I always make everything 0:31:19.240 --> 0:31:22.719 about me, so the day was I don't like wedding attention. 0:31:22.920 --> 0:31:25.040 It's like happy birthday attention where you're like, oh, these 0:31:25.080 --> 0:31:27.040 people are forced to like clap for me because it's 0:31:27.080 --> 0:31:28.960 my birthday or my wedding day. I like to earn 0:31:29.000 --> 0:31:32.160 people's affection, so it was very I didn't love that 0:31:32.240 --> 0:31:34.120 attention on wedding day. But I think for someone who 0:31:34.160 --> 0:31:37.280 like never makes things about themselves, the wedding day is 0:31:37.320 --> 0:31:38.320 the most beautiful day. 0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:42.520 Yeah, really, last thing I would ever want for myself 0:31:42.720 --> 0:31:43.440 a wedding. 0:31:43.200 --> 0:31:45.080 I was like. And also the whole like your dad 0:31:45.120 --> 0:31:48.120 giving you away. I'm like, my dad's like. 0:31:48.440 --> 0:31:52.400 My dad's dead, so he's not giving me away. 0:31:53.200 --> 0:31:55.440 Shout out to shout out to my dad if you're 0:31:55.440 --> 0:31:56.640 listening to this podcast. 0:31:58.560 --> 0:32:01.440 Actually both of does his parents our dead, which is 0:32:01.920 --> 0:32:03.080 quite nice. 0:32:04.240 --> 0:32:05.760 With that, Let's go to grinder. 0:32:06.040 --> 0:32:08.840 Tyler lives in the South and he is in a 0:32:08.880 --> 0:32:11.400 bit of a predicament. I just want to preface too, 0:32:11.480 --> 0:32:13.280 So this is a bit of a two part question. 0:32:13.880 --> 0:32:15.800 I would love for us to sort of answer the 0:32:15.880 --> 0:32:17.960 question in the email a little bit, and then he's 0:32:17.960 --> 0:32:19.240 going to join us and give us a little bit 0:32:19.240 --> 0:32:19.840 of an update. 0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:22.280 So Tyler says, Dear. 0:32:22.280 --> 0:32:25.920 Chelsea, I find myself in a rather delicate situation and 0:32:25.960 --> 0:32:29.640 I would greatly appreciate your insight and guidance The other night, 0:32:29.840 --> 0:32:32.920 during a sleepless bout at three am, I found myself 0:32:32.960 --> 0:32:37.080 mindlessly scrolling through Grinder. I have two different accounts, one 0:32:37.080 --> 0:32:40.280 with my face that I used regularly and another anonymous 0:32:40.320 --> 0:32:44.560 account for mere curiosity. To my surprise, I received a 0:32:44.600 --> 0:32:47.920 message from a nearby anonymous profile expressing interest in the 0:32:48.000 --> 0:32:52.320 late night encounter and including explicit photos. Curiosity got the 0:32:52.320 --> 0:32:54.160 better of me and I asked this person for a 0:32:54.200 --> 0:32:56.840 face picture, thinking they wouldn't comply since I don't share 0:32:56.880 --> 0:32:59.840 face pictures on that account. However, they did send a 0:33:00.000 --> 0:33:02.840 poo and to my astonishment, it turned out to be 0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:04.440 my aunt's husband. 0:33:05.120 --> 0:33:08.440 Oh. I was taken aback, to say the least. 0:33:08.880 --> 0:33:11.560 Now, I find myself at a crossroads, unsure of how 0:33:11.600 --> 0:33:15.640 to proceed. Should I inform my aunt about my discovery. 0:33:15.840 --> 0:33:20.000 Should I confront her husband directly? I understand that staying 0:33:20.040 --> 0:33:22.880 silent is an option, but it goes against my nature 0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:24.240 and my personal values. 0:33:24.600 --> 0:33:26.120 My intention is to handle. 0:33:25.840 --> 0:33:29.200 The situation with care and thoughtfulness, taking into consideration my 0:33:29.240 --> 0:33:32.520 aunt's feelings are family dynamics and the potential impact on 0:33:32.560 --> 0:33:35.640 their relationship. I don't know whether they have a specific 0:33:35.680 --> 0:33:38.800 open arrangement or an understanding within their marriage, and I 0:33:38.800 --> 0:33:41.920 don't want to make assumptions or create unnecessary discomfort for 0:33:42.000 --> 0:33:44.640 anyone involved. But I also don't want my aunt to 0:33:44.640 --> 0:33:48.000 be in a position without informed consent if she's unaware 0:33:48.040 --> 0:33:49.000 of his actions. 0:33:49.560 --> 0:33:53.600 Tyler, Hi, Tyler, Hi, Hi Tyler. 0:33:53.840 --> 0:33:57.480 By the way, this is Hannah Bernard Me yesterday, Hianna. 0:33:58.080 --> 0:34:03.120 So about a week after I read, my aunt went 0:34:03.360 --> 0:34:06.520 on a two week vacation to Florida with her husband 0:34:07.400 --> 0:34:13.720 and boyfriend. Yeah and yeah no, And so I was like, Okay, 0:34:13.920 --> 0:34:16.080 I'm not going to rude their vacation, Like this is 0:34:16.120 --> 0:34:18.239 not a time to like blow it up. 0:34:18.280 --> 0:34:20.840 So I decided to like hold off. Well, what do 0:34:20.880 --> 0:34:21.200 you know. 0:34:21.680 --> 0:34:25.000 When they're in Florida, my aunt finds out on her 0:34:25.000 --> 0:34:30.000 own about this. She found grinder on his phone, and 0:34:30.080 --> 0:34:32.960 so my sister messages me and she's like, our aunt 0:34:33.360 --> 0:34:35.400 found out about this. They're going to get a divorce, 0:34:35.880 --> 0:34:38.400 and she wants you to block his number. I'm like me, 0:34:39.320 --> 0:34:44.359 like what, okay, So of course I just played. I'm 0:34:44.400 --> 0:34:46.160 like I was like, okay, well, I guess this is 0:34:46.239 --> 0:34:49.000 kind of off of my chest now without me having 0:34:49.040 --> 0:34:52.840 to do or say anything or implicate myself but now 0:34:53.040 --> 0:34:56.239 there's no separation. I think they've kind of swept it 0:34:56.320 --> 0:35:00.000 under the rug, and I feel still a little yucky 0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:04.040 about it. And so I think my question now is, well, 0:35:04.080 --> 0:35:06.560 do I share with her what I know? I mean, 0:35:06.600 --> 0:35:07.799 I receive pictures. 0:35:08.719 --> 0:35:10.719 Yeah, I think you do. I think you do. That's 0:35:10.719 --> 0:35:12.800 your aunt and your loyalty should be to your family. 0:35:13.360 --> 0:35:16.560 And she should know because now they're not getting divorced. 0:35:16.600 --> 0:35:19.160 Now they're staying together while he's grinding on other men 0:35:19.280 --> 0:35:21.920 and like trying to hook up. I mean, it's shocking 0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:25.000 and which if she's fine with it, then fine, but 0:35:25.280 --> 0:35:28.560 he probably convinced her that it was like a one 0:35:28.600 --> 0:35:31.040 time thing or blah blah blah, and I think you 0:35:31.080 --> 0:35:32.600 should tell her the truth. 0:35:32.640 --> 0:35:33.160 Absolutely. 0:35:33.840 --> 0:35:35.279 Also, Yeah, I feel like it's the kind of thing 0:35:35.320 --> 0:35:37.719 that after like four drinks at a family function, you're 0:35:37.800 --> 0:35:39.960 gonna spill anyway, So you might as well do it 0:35:39.960 --> 0:35:44.040 in like an organized, correct fashion, because I know myself 0:35:44.080 --> 0:35:45.399 and I would it would be like on the tip 0:35:45.400 --> 0:35:47.440 of my tongue all the time, and I'd drop it 0:35:47.480 --> 0:35:49.400 at the worst point, and that would be real drama. 0:35:50.120 --> 0:35:50.560 Yeah. 0:35:50.600 --> 0:35:53.840 So luckily we don't have that sort of family dynamic 0:35:53.880 --> 0:35:57.400 where we're all been noodling together. But yeah, I just 0:35:57.440 --> 0:35:59.520 you know, I hesitated because I'm like, well, do I 0:35:59.560 --> 0:36:02.560 reopen this wound, maybe cashed it out? 0:36:03.360 --> 0:36:06.640 Does she know the depth of it? And do I 0:36:06.719 --> 0:36:07.440 get involved? 0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:09.400 Yeah, I know it's probably. 0:36:09.440 --> 0:36:11.200 I mean, listen, I always err on the side of 0:36:11.239 --> 0:36:13.719 telling people the truth, even if it's inconvenient and it's 0:36:13.719 --> 0:36:15.840 hard to hear, like, I do it out of respect 0:36:15.880 --> 0:36:17.719 for people, like I think people deserve to know the 0:36:17.719 --> 0:36:20.239 full truth. And it actually seems like it's present. This 0:36:20.280 --> 0:36:22.400 opportunity has presented itself to you in a way that 0:36:22.480 --> 0:36:25.239 you should You should be telling the truth, you know, 0:36:25.400 --> 0:36:29.120 like it came up and you can easily say liaseless. 0:36:29.120 --> 0:36:30.920 And I know you guys, I heard from my sister 0:36:30.960 --> 0:36:33.080 that you guys were separating and then you were getting divorced, 0:36:33.360 --> 0:36:35.399 or if you had, did you spoken to your aunt 0:36:35.400 --> 0:36:36.160 directly about it? 0:36:36.239 --> 0:36:36.439 Yet? 0:36:36.680 --> 0:36:38.560 I mean, has she mentioned that the divorce to you 0:36:38.719 --> 0:36:39.000 or No. 0:36:39.480 --> 0:36:41.040 She's not mentioned anything to me. 0:36:41.160 --> 0:36:43.640 The only thing I've heard was from my sister and 0:36:43.680 --> 0:36:45.680 then that was it. 0:36:45.480 --> 0:36:47.400 It's almost as if it never happened. 0:36:47.640 --> 0:36:49.879 Well, And can I also clarify, do any of them 0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:53.400 know that you got these pictures from him because or 0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:54.120 was it. 0:36:54.080 --> 0:36:55.600 Just like you know and they don't know? 0:36:55.600 --> 0:36:57.759 You know, they know now though they all listen to 0:36:57.920 --> 0:36:59.200 Chelsea thank everyone. 0:36:59.400 --> 0:37:02.720 No they haven't. 0:37:02.840 --> 0:37:06.400 And I you know what, five years ago, I probably 0:37:06.400 --> 0:37:08.360 would have been like, oh my god, guess what everyone? 0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:13.160 I have like learned empathy and learned. 0:37:14.080 --> 0:37:16.080 But if you were her, what would you want? 0:37:17.640 --> 0:37:18.800 That's a really great question. 0:37:19.480 --> 0:37:21.480 I feel like I would want someone to tell me, 0:37:22.360 --> 0:37:26.959 and without knowing what she knows now or how much 0:37:27.000 --> 0:37:29.840 she knows, I think I would still want it. But 0:37:29.920 --> 0:37:33.600 it also I feel bad for her. It is an 0:37:33.680 --> 0:37:36.600 uncomfortable situation, and I don't want to embarrass her. I 0:37:36.640 --> 0:37:39.000 don't want to make her feel any worse about it. 0:37:40.320 --> 0:37:43.839 And yeah, maybe they're having fun threesomes now, like maybe 0:37:43.920 --> 0:37:45.799 it's enhanced their relationship. 0:37:46.360 --> 0:37:48.640 Yeah, and that's what At first I was like, Well, 0:37:48.640 --> 0:37:51.520 I don't know their situation. Maybe they're open and it's 0:37:51.520 --> 0:37:54.600 totally cool. But then I'm like, that's not I live 0:37:54.680 --> 0:37:56.759 in Kentucky. That's not probably what I know. 0:37:56.840 --> 0:37:58.560 Because if she was going to divorce him right away, 0:37:58.680 --> 0:38:01.400 she obviously convinced that it wasn't a thing, or that 0:38:01.440 --> 0:38:02.960 he didn't do it, or that it was a one 0:38:02.960 --> 0:38:05.080 time thing. I think you should tell her. I think 0:38:05.120 --> 0:38:07.520 you should just say listen, in light of everything that's happened. 0:38:07.520 --> 0:38:09.160 I know you and I haven't spoken directly, but I 0:38:09.200 --> 0:38:11.239 have to be honest with you because my loyalty is 0:38:11.280 --> 0:38:14.560 to you. This happened. This happened a couple weeks before 0:38:14.560 --> 0:38:16.480 you went on your vacation. I wrestled with telling you 0:38:16.600 --> 0:38:18.080 or not, and then I heard you were getting a divorce, 0:38:18.120 --> 0:38:21.200 and I figured, okay, that's there's no reason to tell you. 0:38:21.320 --> 0:38:23.840 And I no judgment whatsoever if you know about it 0:38:23.840 --> 0:38:25.520 and you're okay with it, but I wanted you to 0:38:25.600 --> 0:38:27.840 know from me, this is what happened. 0:38:28.000 --> 0:38:30.880 Yeah, no judgment. I love you. He probably was like grinder. 0:38:30.960 --> 0:38:33.120 I thought it was like a core appliance. 0:38:32.640 --> 0:38:33.799 App Yeah, I know. 0:38:34.239 --> 0:38:37.319 I mean, any woman can be convinced of anything when 0:38:37.320 --> 0:38:39.960 they want to be, you know, like powerful. 0:38:40.040 --> 0:38:43.680 You know, and part of me too, like I get 0:38:44.760 --> 0:38:49.600 I get the piece where you know, however old he is, 0:38:51.000 --> 0:38:54.520 having those feelings or being gay or being bisexual is 0:38:54.640 --> 0:38:57.000 just like out of the norm, I guess, or not 0:38:57.600 --> 0:39:01.160 right for people of his age, and so I get 0:39:01.160 --> 0:39:03.640 his perspective of like being trying to be secretive and 0:39:03.680 --> 0:39:06.200 not share, and that part's wrong. 0:39:06.280 --> 0:39:07.400 The lying part is wrong. 0:39:07.719 --> 0:39:11.680 But I wanted to protect almost like the person, you know, 0:39:12.040 --> 0:39:15.600 prevent outing him and creating a situation where he can't 0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:16.680 be his authentic self. 0:39:16.719 --> 0:39:18.359 And that's work he has to do, I know. 0:39:18.480 --> 0:39:22.160 But I've also been on the side of where someone's 0:39:22.200 --> 0:39:25.840 outing me or talking bad about me, or calling me names, 0:39:25.920 --> 0:39:31.640 and so I'm trying to, you know, proceed with caution. 0:39:31.920 --> 0:39:34.239 I guess, I just don't want anyone to be in 0:39:34.280 --> 0:39:37.880 a situation, my aunt or him in terms of like 0:39:37.920 --> 0:39:40.839 his sexuality, if that's what it is, if it was experimenting, 0:39:41.000 --> 0:39:41.480 I don't know. 0:39:42.000 --> 0:39:43.600 I get it. It's a sensitive issue. 0:39:43.760 --> 0:39:47.000 And listen, you're not outing him because she first of all, 0:39:47.040 --> 0:39:50.400 now she already knows something's up. And I respect what 0:39:50.400 --> 0:39:52.920 you're saying. You don't want to out somebody, but this 0:39:53.080 --> 0:39:55.520 is a family member. The reason to do it is 0:39:55.560 --> 0:39:57.640 to be honest with her, you know what I mean. 0:39:58.080 --> 0:40:00.640 You don't want to keep a secret on behalf of 0:40:00.680 --> 0:40:04.000 this guy when it's your aunt. You know, It's not 0:40:04.080 --> 0:40:06.560 like you're outing someone into the world and saying, oh, 0:40:06.560 --> 0:40:07.839 this person's a homosexual. 0:40:07.880 --> 0:40:09.799 You're saying to your aunt, this is what happened. This 0:40:09.840 --> 0:40:10.279 is what I know. 0:40:10.600 --> 0:40:12.680 I don't know that he's a homosexual, but I mean 0:40:12.719 --> 0:40:16.400 clearly he sent me pictures. This happened. Like, you deserve 0:40:16.480 --> 0:40:19.080 to know this, and that's it. And if she doesn't, 0:40:19.160 --> 0:40:21.280 you know, and if she's fine with it, then fine, 0:40:21.400 --> 0:40:25.040 then great, then they can carry on. But I think 0:40:25.040 --> 0:40:26.120 the truth is important. 0:40:26.480 --> 0:40:29.200 Yeah, it is hard to be the catalyst though, of drama, 0:40:29.280 --> 0:40:31.840 like feeling like it's your fault. But like, what if 0:40:32.239 --> 0:40:34.680 she ends up finding the love of her life after this, 0:40:34.800 --> 0:40:37.120 and he ends up finding the love of his life 0:40:37.160 --> 0:40:39.200 and they live more authentic lives and then you're the 0:40:39.239 --> 0:40:41.440 savior and then you go to heaven. 0:40:41.600 --> 0:40:44.480 And then Hannah. Yeah, and then Hannah comes and makes 0:40:44.480 --> 0:40:45.440 a speech at your wedding. 0:40:46.080 --> 0:40:48.160 Yeah, I've been thinking about heaven a lot lately. 0:40:47.960 --> 0:40:56.520 So that's like I changed the rules. Yeah, I agree, 0:40:56.719 --> 0:40:58.759 I feel like heaven's kind of gay. But anyway, that's 0:40:58.760 --> 0:40:59.360 another point. 0:40:59.440 --> 0:41:01.600 Yeah, I have does seem like it's definitely like there's 0:41:01.640 --> 0:41:04.839 a lot of gay people there after everything they've after 0:41:04.880 --> 0:41:06.320 everything they've gone through on Earth. 0:41:06.440 --> 0:41:19.120 I mean, aesthetic is like sparkly and like it looks Yeah. 0:41:16.120 --> 0:41:16.960 I agree. 0:41:17.239 --> 0:41:20.720 I think the right thing to do is to share 0:41:21.120 --> 0:41:24.040 and and say, like you said, no judgment. 0:41:24.200 --> 0:41:28.640 I just want you to know the whole story and 0:41:29.120 --> 0:41:29.960 do what you want. 0:41:30.840 --> 0:41:31.040 Yeah. 0:41:31.080 --> 0:41:33.439 I think you know you have to prioritize like her 0:41:33.640 --> 0:41:36.920 bodily autonomy and being able to make choices for herself. 0:41:37.000 --> 0:41:39.359 Over you know, as Chelsea said, you're not outing him 0:41:39.360 --> 0:41:41.800 to the world, but over like basically outing him is 0:41:41.840 --> 0:41:46.400 like no, he is actively seeking hookups in person to 0:41:46.480 --> 0:41:49.239 your aunt. But also like, I think maybe that conversation 0:41:49.360 --> 0:41:51.319 is not like showing her what he sent you, but 0:41:51.520 --> 0:41:54.560 like just maybe verbal and saying like, hey he did 0:41:54.600 --> 0:41:56.720 send explicit photos, et cetera. 0:41:57.400 --> 0:41:59.080 Yeah he us posted. 0:42:00.160 --> 0:42:00.359 Yeah. 0:42:00.520 --> 0:42:02.320 Yeah, definitely want to. 0:42:02.360 --> 0:42:04.719 I want to hear about this one after this is all, 0:42:05.200 --> 0:42:06.280 after the dust settles. 0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:11.160 Yeah, I'll keep you updated. I will be very patient 0:42:11.200 --> 0:42:12.759 with her because I know it's a lot. 0:42:14.239 --> 0:42:16.319 Yeah, Chelsea, do you think this is like a letter? 0:42:16.400 --> 0:42:18.400 Do you think this is a phone call? In person? 0:42:18.600 --> 0:42:19.320 What do you think? 0:42:19.680 --> 0:42:22.040 Where does she live? And can you see her in person? 0:42:22.719 --> 0:42:25.000 I can? I can see her in person just about 0:42:25.000 --> 0:42:25.560 any time. 0:42:25.880 --> 0:42:27.880 Yeah, I think you should do it in person. Not 0:42:27.920 --> 0:42:31.399 a voice note, not a voice memo. No, definitely not, 0:42:31.520 --> 0:42:34.120 definitely not, or you could just DM her on Instagram. 0:42:34.160 --> 0:42:36.960 That's intimate, just me. 0:42:39.920 --> 0:42:42.279 Both together and just resend the pictures that he sent 0:42:42.320 --> 0:42:42.920 you on Grinder? 0:42:44.840 --> 0:42:46.920 Does this look familiar? Does this dick look familiar? 0:42:47.480 --> 0:42:50.200 And she's so he didn't know he was sending it 0:42:50.200 --> 0:42:52.080 to you though, right, he didn't see your picture. 0:42:52.200 --> 0:42:53.760 He only oh, I see. 0:42:53.640 --> 0:42:55.840 No sloppy, very sloppy, sloppy behavior. 0:42:56.160 --> 0:42:57.839 Yeah, he has a lot to learn. 0:42:58.360 --> 0:42:59.960 But how can you hook up with someone on Grinder 0:43:00.080 --> 0:43:01.880 without seeing their photo of their face? 0:43:01.920 --> 0:43:04.400 You just send dick pics back and forth and that's it. 0:43:04.560 --> 0:43:04.880 Not me. 0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:06.840 I have to have a face, like I want to 0:43:06.880 --> 0:43:10.399 see teeth I see. But other people that. 0:43:10.440 --> 0:43:12.760 You said you don't send your face, right. 0:43:12.880 --> 0:43:15.000 I don't send my face on that. So I have 0:43:15.040 --> 0:43:17.400 two grinders. One's just for me being nosy, that's just 0:43:17.400 --> 0:43:18.759 a blank profile, and. 0:43:18.840 --> 0:43:22.600 The other I know it like a finta, like a finsta. 0:43:23.320 --> 0:43:25.800 Yeah, but what's the point of a fake grinder? 0:43:26.000 --> 0:43:29.360 Like for me, it's just like who's around? I don't 0:43:29.400 --> 0:43:32.359 like actively really message well, just. 0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:35.080 To know who finds me out. If your aunt's husbands 0:43:35.080 --> 0:43:37.120 are on it, that's that's a good enough reason. 0:43:37.400 --> 0:43:39.440 I wonder how many ants. I wonder how many of 0:43:39.480 --> 0:43:42.640 your aunt's husbands are on it one? So for how 0:43:42.640 --> 0:43:46.600 many ants do you have? Every ant is shaking right now. 0:43:47.040 --> 0:43:48.879 I will call in another episode and we'll go through 0:43:48.880 --> 0:43:49.440 my whole family. 0:43:49.480 --> 0:43:53.200 If you want Kentuck, he's crazy. 0:43:54.000 --> 0:43:54.520 Oh my god. 0:43:55.000 --> 0:43:57.799 Grinder by the way, it's like the wild West, So 0:43:58.680 --> 0:44:01.440 you don't know the half of what happens there. 0:44:02.000 --> 0:44:02.520 No, I don't. 0:44:02.640 --> 0:44:05.960 I'd a little bit of the sex of Grinder, like 0:44:06.000 --> 0:44:07.319 a little bit of a stosterone. 0:44:07.440 --> 0:44:09.759 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. It sounds like I do. 0:44:10.719 --> 0:44:12.000 Maybe I can get it from your uncle. 0:44:12.719 --> 0:44:12.919 Yeah. 0:44:12.920 --> 0:44:14.759 It's funny though, because I feel like a lesbian dating 0:44:14.760 --> 0:44:17.600 app would not just be sending like laby ALIPs, No, 0:44:17.800 --> 0:44:23.840 that would. It would be like poetry cat photos. 0:44:22.800 --> 0:44:23.480 Like nesting. 0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:25.240 I don't know if you've ever heard of the term nesting, 0:44:25.280 --> 0:44:27.960 but when a bunch of gays get together, it's I mean, 0:44:28.000 --> 0:44:29.400 it's it's fine and interesting. 0:44:29.600 --> 0:44:30.879 I'm not going to say I hate it. 0:44:30.840 --> 0:44:34.160 But I think Chelsea needs like a fake Grinder account 0:44:34.160 --> 0:44:35.200 so she can explore. 0:44:35.880 --> 0:44:36.720 I think you should. 0:44:38.000 --> 0:44:40.439 That actually would amuse me. I think I'm not sure. 0:44:40.480 --> 0:44:42.160 I don't really like dick pics, though. 0:44:42.480 --> 0:44:43.960 Out of context they're aggressive. 0:44:44.000 --> 0:44:46.000 I don't really like to see pictures of penises, you 0:44:46.000 --> 0:44:49.480 know what I mean? Like I I would rather just yeah, 0:44:49.920 --> 0:44:50.600 not to see that. 0:44:52.000 --> 0:44:54.080 She goes, I'd love it minus all the dicks. You're like, 0:44:54.160 --> 0:44:55.480 that's not gonna. 0:44:55.239 --> 0:44:56.960 Work, It's not gonnas. 0:44:57.800 --> 0:45:01.040 Well, Tyler, a lot of I know what happens. I 0:45:01.080 --> 0:45:03.520 know you've got a couple of tough conversations out of you. 0:45:04.239 --> 0:45:05.000 Yeah, I will. 0:45:05.040 --> 0:45:07.919 I'll keep you posted and I'm sure all will go 0:45:08.440 --> 0:45:10.719 just as smoothly as we hope. 0:45:11.560 --> 0:45:13.440 Thank you, Tyler, Bye. 0:45:13.160 --> 0:45:15.400 Tyler, Tyler, thank you bye, good to see you. 0:45:15.480 --> 0:45:16.719 Bye. 0:45:17.239 --> 0:45:17.960 Oh I'm stressed. 0:45:18.120 --> 0:45:21.920 That real A lot of layers, A lot of layers. 0:45:22.200 --> 0:45:27.359 How cute. Well. 0:45:27.360 --> 0:45:32.399 Our next caller is Cecilia Dear Chelsea. I'm twenty five 0:45:32.480 --> 0:45:34.440 years old, and I would say I'm a late bloomer 0:45:34.440 --> 0:45:37.680 in the romantic realm. I've never had a boyfriend. I 0:45:37.719 --> 0:45:39.360 went to a small high school where none of my 0:45:39.400 --> 0:45:41.960 friends really dated. Then for college, I majored in theater, 0:45:42.160 --> 0:45:45.279 so no straight men there. Then COVID hit my senior year. 0:45:45.560 --> 0:45:48.080 And I also have a life full of loving friends 0:45:48.120 --> 0:45:50.560 and family, so I think that's This has also caused 0:45:50.600 --> 0:45:53.200 me to not seek a romantic partner. I moved to 0:45:53.200 --> 0:45:55.560 a new city two years ago for a fabulous job 0:45:55.680 --> 0:45:57.879 and haven't quite found a circle of friends that give 0:45:57.920 --> 0:46:00.879 me the support I need. I started online dating about 0:46:00.920 --> 0:46:03.439 a year ago, and after maybe half a dozen first dates, 0:46:03.480 --> 0:46:06.680 I decided it wasn't for me. I have had two 0:46:06.760 --> 0:46:10.360 other situationships, as the gen z would say, in recent months, 0:46:10.400 --> 0:46:13.520 and they both happened similarly. Both were guys at work 0:46:13.560 --> 0:46:15.879 who I had a foundation with of sorts, and they 0:46:15.880 --> 0:46:18.640 pursued me. We'd go on fun dates and they were 0:46:18.680 --> 0:46:21.080 obsessed with me, as they should be, and then once 0:46:21.160 --> 0:46:23.560 I really liked them and tried to define the relationship, 0:46:23.640 --> 0:46:26.560 they'd get all distant. It's frustrating that both of these 0:46:26.560 --> 0:46:29.000 guys pursued me and then let things fizzle once I 0:46:29.040 --> 0:46:31.920 had strong feelings for them. Needless to say, I need 0:46:31.960 --> 0:46:34.120 to stop dating men in the workplace. But it's also 0:46:34.200 --> 0:46:37.520 teaching me that being upfront with my feelings scares men away, 0:46:37.640 --> 0:46:40.719 which feels like the wrong takeaway. My therapist said I 0:46:40.719 --> 0:46:43.320 should let them initiate how they're feeling, but that feels 0:46:43.320 --> 0:46:45.399 like a cop out. I feel like I have no 0:46:45.520 --> 0:46:47.919 skills in dating or handling a breakup, and I feel 0:46:47.920 --> 0:46:49.640 like I'm so late to the game. I don't even 0:46:49.719 --> 0:46:50.440 know where to start. 0:46:50.640 --> 0:46:52.680 Cecilia, she's twenty five. 0:46:54.560 --> 0:47:00.320 Hi, Cecilia, by no, you're only twenty five years old. 0:47:01.000 --> 0:47:03.600 You me mean light to the game. Some people don't 0:47:03.600 --> 0:47:05.960 even have sex and so they're thirty. 0:47:06.640 --> 0:47:08.439 Okay, I mean, I guess that's fair. 0:47:08.560 --> 0:47:08.920 I guess. 0:47:08.960 --> 0:47:09.360 I don't know. 0:47:09.400 --> 0:47:11.920 It's something that I feel like I've done other parts 0:47:11.960 --> 0:47:14.680 of my life that I'm like, Oh, let's delve into 0:47:14.719 --> 0:47:17.160 finding a partner, especially like in the city I live in. 0:47:17.200 --> 0:47:19.480 I feel like I don't have a base, so like 0:47:19.520 --> 0:47:21.400 I feel like having a partner would be nice. 0:47:22.000 --> 0:47:23.320 What city do you live in? 0:47:23.440 --> 0:47:24.640 Orlando? Oh? 0:47:24.640 --> 0:47:26.640 Okay, m water Parks. 0:47:27.360 --> 0:47:30.920 I like to say, as an elder, your early twenties 0:47:31.000 --> 0:47:34.440 is all. It's researching. It's not even dating. Call it researching. 0:47:34.480 --> 0:47:36.600 You're figuring out what you like, which you don't like, 0:47:36.680 --> 0:47:39.640 what makes you un comfy, because there's no you're not getting. 0:47:39.719 --> 0:47:41.440 You're not trying to find a husband. You know, you're 0:47:41.440 --> 0:47:43.920 just learning about yourself, and you don't really know that 0:47:44.000 --> 0:47:45.960 much about yourself. In your early twenties either. 0:47:46.080 --> 0:47:48.520 Yeah, and you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. 0:47:48.640 --> 0:47:50.560 Why do you put so much pressure on yourself to 0:47:50.600 --> 0:47:51.600 be in a relationship. 0:47:51.960 --> 0:47:54.640 I guess maybe like a part of me puts pressure 0:47:54.640 --> 0:47:56.640 on myself, Like when I was writing in I was 0:47:56.640 --> 0:47:58.560 putting pressure on myself, But like it's not like I'm 0:47:58.600 --> 0:48:00.840 actively focusing on that all the time. I think just 0:48:00.880 --> 0:48:02.680 a part of me like puts pressure on myself. But 0:48:02.680 --> 0:48:04.959 I put pressure on myself career wise in like other 0:48:04.960 --> 0:48:06.920 parts of my life for sure, But it's not like 0:48:06.960 --> 0:48:08.920 every day I'm waking up like how do I solve 0:48:08.960 --> 0:48:12.799 this problem? I'm single, Like I'm It's like not an 0:48:12.800 --> 0:48:14.640 intense problem. It's just like I don't want to like 0:48:15.160 --> 0:48:17.640 be dirty and be like, oh I forgot again to 0:48:17.880 --> 0:48:20.520 ever pursue any one romantically. Like I just feel like 0:48:20.560 --> 0:48:23.040 I have to make that a part of my life 0:48:23.040 --> 0:48:24.160 if I ever want that. 0:48:24.600 --> 0:48:27.160 I mean, relationships are hard, and it could seem with 0:48:27.200 --> 0:48:29.759 social media that like everyone's in a loving relationship, but 0:48:29.800 --> 0:48:32.160 I think it's like the hardest thing. And you know 0:48:32.160 --> 0:48:34.240 how when you make a friend it's so easy and quick. 0:48:34.280 --> 0:48:35.759 That's kind of like what you're looking for in a 0:48:35.760 --> 0:48:38.200 guy where it's like we're not forcing it. I mess 0:48:38.280 --> 0:48:39.920 with you. There's not like oh I have to It's 0:48:39.960 --> 0:48:41.759 not like homework, like I have to study to be 0:48:41.800 --> 0:48:44.080 good at this. It's kind of like what we're talking 0:48:44.080 --> 0:48:46.759 about is don't worry about the men. Worry about you, 0:48:47.600 --> 0:48:50.040 and then you'll be doing something you love, like skiing 0:48:50.160 --> 0:48:52.560 or something, and they'll find you. But you don't have 0:48:52.640 --> 0:48:55.760 to force it or research or like try too hard. 0:48:56.480 --> 0:49:00.640 Yeah, I've picked up bouldering recently. That's been cool, but like, 0:49:00.680 --> 0:49:02.600 I don't know. I guess I feel like I should 0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:04.560 be actively trying at least a little bit. 0:49:05.000 --> 0:49:07.399 But I think an oversight that many of us make 0:49:07.680 --> 0:49:12.120 is we are a miscalculation is like, don't underestimate the 0:49:12.160 --> 0:49:15.120 value of your relationship with yourself when you are a 0:49:15.160 --> 0:49:18.920 whole person and you really invest in getting to know yourself, 0:49:18.960 --> 0:49:21.920 in being with yourself, in finding out what you do enjoy, 0:49:22.080 --> 0:49:26.040 Like Okay, bouldering great, you like that, right, All of 0:49:26.080 --> 0:49:29.480 those things are good, Like it's very natural. Not everybody 0:49:29.520 --> 0:49:32.439 has boyfriends in their twenties, you know, Like I had 0:49:32.760 --> 0:49:35.359 two boyfriends in my twenties and in the span in 0:49:35.360 --> 0:49:35.920 a decade. 0:49:36.280 --> 0:49:37.760 I'm not a relationship person. 0:49:37.840 --> 0:49:39.680 I have relationships, and then I have to take long 0:49:39.800 --> 0:49:42.960 breaks in between those relationships because they fucking wear. 0:49:42.800 --> 0:49:43.560 The shit out of me. 0:49:44.120 --> 0:49:46.400 And then in those times when I'm single are the 0:49:46.440 --> 0:49:49.480 best times in my life. So like, honestly, like you 0:49:49.600 --> 0:49:52.319 have to really build that relationship with yourself and get 0:49:52.320 --> 0:49:55.040 to know who you are and what because sometimes in 0:49:55.080 --> 0:49:57.600 our twenties, like there's a lot of us looking around 0:49:57.680 --> 0:50:00.600 and not sometimes this is like a society. We're always 0:50:00.680 --> 0:50:02.640 looking at what other people are doing. We're looking at 0:50:02.680 --> 0:50:05.480 social media, we're looking at other people there in relationships. 0:50:05.520 --> 0:50:08.120 I should do that, I should do that? Why who? 0:50:08.239 --> 0:50:08.919 You know what I mean? 0:50:08.960 --> 0:50:12.200 Like, it's you can make an effort, and you know 0:50:12.280 --> 0:50:14.080 you can make an effort. You're going to meet people 0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:16.479 naturally in your life, as you go through your job, 0:50:16.600 --> 0:50:19.760 as you go through your social stuff and your hobbies, 0:50:19.800 --> 0:50:22.000 you are naturally going to meet people. If you want 0:50:22.000 --> 0:50:25.560 to put an effort in beyond that, then absolutely then 0:50:25.560 --> 0:50:27.520 you do kind of have to do that dating thing 0:50:27.760 --> 0:50:29.800 or you have to put yourself in situations where you're. 0:50:29.640 --> 0:50:31.320 Going to constantly be meeting new people. 0:50:31.880 --> 0:50:34.440 And there are other ways to do that without dating sites, 0:50:34.440 --> 0:50:36.600 and you can join you know, like a bouldering club, 0:50:36.719 --> 0:50:38.319 or you can join a tennis club, or you can 0:50:38.400 --> 0:50:41.040 join a pickleball club or whatever the fuck you're into, 0:50:41.520 --> 0:50:44.319 you know, and you can meet people that way and 0:50:44.560 --> 0:50:47.160 use that as like, Okay, at least I'm putting actively 0:50:47.160 --> 0:50:49.400 putting myself out there. But I have to tell you 0:50:49.440 --> 0:50:51.920 when I actively put myself out there is when it 0:50:52.000 --> 0:50:54.680 yields the least results. That is, so I meet people 0:50:54.680 --> 0:50:57.440 when I'm not looking. That's always what has happened to me. 0:50:58.040 --> 0:51:01.439 And I don't consider any of my relationships unsuccessful because 0:51:01.480 --> 0:51:03.200 they didn't work out. They were just parts of the 0:51:03.200 --> 0:51:05.200 things that built me up into who I am today 0:51:05.600 --> 0:51:08.040 and makes me understand myself even more now. 0:51:08.080 --> 0:51:10.920 I know, like I have zero tolerance for any bullshit. 0:51:11.000 --> 0:51:13.600 I have to be completely attracted or into someone to 0:51:13.640 --> 0:51:15.560 give you the time of day, Like you know, I 0:51:15.640 --> 0:51:19.560 just don't have that kind of like young attitude about 0:51:19.600 --> 0:51:23.440 it anymore because my time to with myself is so valuable. 0:51:23.840 --> 0:51:26.560 Anthropocy or that was a word of the day. It 0:51:26.640 --> 0:51:27.640 was called the. 0:51:27.400 --> 0:51:32.640 Pleasure of being alone, the pleasure of enjoying your solitude anthropony. Anthropony, 0:51:32.719 --> 0:51:35.080 I think is what it was. Anyway, I was like Oh, 0:51:35.080 --> 0:51:37.520 that's how I feel like. I love I love my 0:51:37.600 --> 0:51:41.080 alone time, So listen, it doesn't really I'm we're not 0:51:41.080 --> 0:51:43.759 giving you like a concrete answer here, but I would 0:51:43.840 --> 0:51:46.640 say just lay off of it for a little bit, 0:51:46.640 --> 0:51:48.640 don't even think about it for a couple months, and 0:51:48.719 --> 0:51:51.480 revisit it so you can just kind of get refocused 0:51:51.480 --> 0:51:54.600 and recalibrate on yourself and then come out and with 0:51:54.680 --> 0:51:56.839 a fresher perspective. If you're done with the dating sites 0:51:56.880 --> 0:51:58.759 for now, then give it a break and come back 0:51:58.760 --> 0:52:00.960 to it in a couple of months or whatever you 0:52:01.000 --> 0:52:03.040 feel like it. You know, I wouldn't put so much 0:52:03.040 --> 0:52:04.520 pressure on yourself to meet somebody. 0:52:04.960 --> 0:52:08.160 Ooh, that was amazing. Take fucking notes. That was heavy. 0:52:08.400 --> 0:52:09.680 But it also I feel like we're trying to say, 0:52:09.680 --> 0:52:11.280 like we're kind of proud of you that you've invested 0:52:11.280 --> 0:52:14.200 in yourself, because sometimes you'll only try to date people 0:52:14.200 --> 0:52:17.120 and you're just like doing whatever they like, and yeah, 0:52:17.239 --> 0:52:20.759 do some apps, throw yourself in some dates. But we're honest, 0:52:20.800 --> 0:52:23.240 you're not missing that much. Early twenties guys are confused. 0:52:23.239 --> 0:52:25.440 They don't even know how to finger you like you're confused. 0:52:25.520 --> 0:52:28.640 You so like you're not missing anything crazy and by 0:52:28.640 --> 0:52:31.600 the time you're like thirty and you're that bitch, then 0:52:31.640 --> 0:52:33.960 you're gonna level up and meet someone at that level 0:52:33.960 --> 0:52:36.080 with you. But that comes in investing in yourself. 0:52:36.239 --> 0:52:38.839 Yeah, yeah, then you really have something to offer somebody up. 0:52:38.920 --> 0:52:41.400 When you really have put the work into yourself and 0:52:41.440 --> 0:52:43.839 you are comfortable in your own skin and know who 0:52:43.880 --> 0:52:47.279 you are, then you really are a catch. You know, 0:52:47.680 --> 0:52:50.160 not to say you're not one now, but it's only 0:52:50.160 --> 0:52:52.160 going to get better for you. So the more time 0:52:52.200 --> 0:52:54.480 you can spend by yourself getting to realize who you are, 0:52:54.600 --> 0:52:57.560 becoming a self actualized person, is going to yield much 0:52:57.560 --> 0:53:01.360 better results and much better people that are complimentary to 0:53:01.440 --> 0:53:03.920 you and that are that are well suited for you. 0:53:04.360 --> 0:53:07.120 Because sometimes when we come from a place of like, oh, well, 0:53:07.160 --> 0:53:09.600 I guess I should be doing this, you're not really 0:53:09.640 --> 0:53:11.680 looking for the right things in a person. 0:53:12.320 --> 0:53:14.120 And if you get married one day, you have the 0:53:14.120 --> 0:53:16.279 whole rest of your life that you're gonna be like, oh, 0:53:16.320 --> 0:53:18.200 I missed when I was early twenties and I could 0:53:18.280 --> 0:53:19.280 just hang out with the girls. 0:53:19.600 --> 0:53:22.360 Yeah yeah, and I would say too, like you moved 0:53:22.360 --> 0:53:24.560 to this new city two years ago. You know you're 0:53:24.640 --> 0:53:27.719 kind of established there, but you haven't developed that friend group. 0:53:27.760 --> 0:53:29.319 And that's one of the best ways to like meet 0:53:29.360 --> 0:53:32.319 a romantic interest is through friends. So if you're gonna 0:53:32.320 --> 0:53:35.040 pour effort into anything, maybe pour your effort into like 0:53:35.200 --> 0:53:39.000 building a base of friendships and dating to find a 0:53:39.040 --> 0:53:40.080 group of friends. 0:53:40.200 --> 0:53:42.920 You know, And I love bouldering. That's cool. I mean 0:53:42.960 --> 0:53:45.480 I've never done it, but I want it sounds fun. 0:53:45.920 --> 0:53:47.799 It's just easy to pick up if that's something you're 0:53:47.840 --> 0:53:48.479 interested in. 0:53:48.400 --> 0:53:50.800 Like, what do you do? What is bouldering? Rock climbing? 0:53:51.239 --> 0:53:54.480 Yeah, but it's like rock climbing, but it's strategic, so 0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:57.160 there's like different colors and like you're not like stropped 0:53:57.160 --> 0:53:58.840 into anything. It's not that kind of rock climbing. 0:53:58.880 --> 0:54:03.000 It's only like ten like a spider monkey. Yeah. 0:54:03.040 --> 0:54:06.960 Sure, I'm going to google spider Monkey later. 0:54:07.000 --> 0:54:10.120 It sounds like some sort of semen applicant that's something 0:54:10.120 --> 0:54:10.880 to do with semen. 0:54:12.800 --> 0:54:13.960 Was that helpful to you at all? 0:54:14.320 --> 0:54:14.560 Yeah? 0:54:14.560 --> 0:54:17.520 I guess I just kinda have spent the past couple 0:54:17.560 --> 0:54:19.960 of years building on myself and working on myself and 0:54:20.040 --> 0:54:23.120 not being invested in finding a romantic partner. So I 0:54:23.200 --> 0:54:25.319 kind of thought maybe now that I like I'm so 0:54:25.560 --> 0:54:28.040 established here in my career and my friends here are 0:54:28.080 --> 0:54:30.560 like okay, but like my friends and family back home, 0:54:30.600 --> 0:54:32.600 like I'm so secure in that that like I thought 0:54:32.920 --> 0:54:34.279 this would be like a good time in my life 0:54:34.360 --> 0:54:34.719 to kind. 0:54:34.640 --> 0:54:35.439 Of like branch out. 0:54:35.440 --> 0:54:38.600 But we're saying, like, no, keep focusing on like myself 0:54:38.640 --> 0:54:39.440 and like kind. 0:54:39.239 --> 0:54:39.959 Of go from there. 0:54:40.400 --> 0:54:40.480 No. 0:54:40.680 --> 0:54:42.719 I mean, you can branch out. You can do both things. 0:54:42.719 --> 0:54:45.360 But I'm just saying in the interim time where like, 0:54:45.400 --> 0:54:46.840 if you don't want to put the effort into the 0:54:46.920 --> 0:54:49.520 dating sites, then don't then that you don't have to 0:54:49.520 --> 0:54:52.319 do that. There's no limit or time frame where you 0:54:52.440 --> 0:54:56.040 have to be with somebody. I understand the desire, but 0:54:56.640 --> 0:54:59.080 nothing bad is going to come from you spending time 0:54:59.239 --> 0:55:01.920 alone and get to know yourself even more. You know, 0:55:02.040 --> 0:55:04.800 two years is great, So maybe it's another six months. 0:55:04.800 --> 0:55:06.880 You'll know when you have like a real hankering, and 0:55:06.920 --> 0:55:08.960 you'll definitely know when you meet someone and there's a 0:55:09.000 --> 0:55:10.600 spark and that could happen. 0:55:10.680 --> 0:55:12.440 Also just a rando. 0:55:12.120 --> 0:55:15.600 Second, Yeah, it takes one person. Yeah, are you on 0:55:15.640 --> 0:55:17.239 the apps now? 0:55:17.400 --> 0:55:18.239 So she's over them? 0:55:18.320 --> 0:55:19.000 Oh you're over. 0:55:20.360 --> 0:55:23.319 That's what I'm saying is I'm not really trying. So 0:55:23.600 --> 0:55:25.319 that's like kind of where I'm at right now. 0:55:25.440 --> 0:55:27.399 We're kind of saying, don't feel bad about where you are. 0:55:27.400 --> 0:55:29.840 It's great. And I would redownload apps so you like 0:55:29.920 --> 0:55:31.719 doing your own thing and force yourself to go on 0:55:31.800 --> 0:55:34.680 like a date every couple of weeks and see what happens. 0:55:35.080 --> 0:55:37.680 So I don't really go on the apps because I like, 0:55:37.680 --> 0:55:39.680 I've done that before and I've never had a dating 0:55:39.680 --> 0:55:41.439 app where I've been like that was so fun, even 0:55:41.440 --> 0:55:42.560 though we didn't have a connection. 0:55:42.680 --> 0:55:43.799 That was great. So like. 0:55:46.360 --> 0:55:48.600 Go to the movies by myself, like take myself out 0:55:48.640 --> 0:55:50.200 to dinner, Like I'd rather do that than do that 0:55:50.200 --> 0:55:50.800 with somebody. 0:55:51.120 --> 0:55:54.000 Also, like let the friends that you do have know, like, hey, 0:55:54.200 --> 0:55:56.600 do you know anybody put it out there that you're 0:55:56.680 --> 0:55:59.480 interested in meeting someone, and like people will start, things 0:55:59.520 --> 0:56:02.440 will purkle, people will start thinking about who they know 0:56:02.560 --> 0:56:06.040 and who they might hook you up with. Well, Cecilia, 0:56:06.400 --> 0:56:09.319 keep us posted on what you do decide to do. 0:56:09.400 --> 0:56:11.560 If you decide to like work on friendships, if you 0:56:11.600 --> 0:56:14.280 decide to try out the apps again, yeah for sure. 0:56:14.719 --> 0:56:16.560 And who knows, maybe we'll run into somebody on this 0:56:16.800 --> 0:56:18.400 podcast and we can set you up with them. We 0:56:18.480 --> 0:56:19.960 just have to find someone who lives in Orlando. 0:56:21.560 --> 0:56:23.320 Perfect, yes, Kiwi post. 0:56:23.560 --> 0:56:25.160 Have you heard of Ron DeSantis? Would you like to 0:56:25.200 --> 0:56:26.040 quantitate with him? 0:56:26.680 --> 0:56:27.200 Oh? 0:56:27.400 --> 0:56:27.960 Else you? No? 0:56:28.160 --> 0:56:28.520 Please? 0:56:29.640 --> 0:56:29.960 Zudi? 0:56:31.120 --> 0:56:34.160 Too soon? All right, Cecilia, good. 0:56:34.120 --> 0:56:36.960 Luck, thank you, thank bye. 0:56:37.320 --> 0:56:38.600 We don't really help Cecilia. 0:56:38.880 --> 0:56:39.800 I know she's fine. 0:56:40.880 --> 0:56:43.279 Yeah, I mean she didn't but she didn't really want 0:56:43.320 --> 0:56:44.359 to do anything about it. 0:56:44.480 --> 0:56:46.080 So it's like, I don't know, what are we supposed 0:56:46.080 --> 0:56:48.240 to just bring someone out of thin air and place 0:56:48.239 --> 0:56:49.200 her in his custody. 0:56:49.880 --> 0:56:52.920 Finding a friend group and like solidifying those relationships I 0:56:52.960 --> 0:56:54.719 think is number one for her because she's been there 0:56:54.760 --> 0:56:56.719 for two years. Like, she hasn't been there for two months. 0:56:56.719 --> 0:56:58.600 It doesn't have friends, she's been there for two years. 0:56:58.760 --> 0:57:01.080 Don't you feel like that's that's the next move? 0:57:01.239 --> 0:57:03.560 Making friends as an adult could be so hard. 0:57:03.280 --> 0:57:05.560 Though, But she did say she in her letter, she 0:57:05.560 --> 0:57:06.719 said she didn't have a friend group. 0:57:06.719 --> 0:57:08.200 But then when we were talking, she said she had 0:57:08.239 --> 0:57:08.760 some friends. 0:57:10.040 --> 0:57:13.200 Foam, okay, yeah, yeah yeah, Orlando. 0:57:13.280 --> 0:57:15.000 It just sounds so bleak. 0:57:15.160 --> 0:57:16.840 As soon as she said Orlando, it's like, well, the 0:57:16.920 --> 0:57:19.320 first you have to leave Florida and then we can 0:57:19.360 --> 0:57:25.040 talk about what's going to happen, you know, Orlando, Like, I. 0:57:25.000 --> 0:57:25.760 Know, it's tricky. 0:57:27.360 --> 0:57:28.520 That's why I said water Parks. 0:57:28.520 --> 0:57:30.360 I was trying to be positive, I know, but are 0:57:30.360 --> 0:57:31.120 those positive? 0:57:31.320 --> 0:57:31.480 No? 0:57:31.560 --> 0:57:35.400 Everyone, what's that word that you guys just said? 0:57:35.400 --> 0:57:35.760 The monkey? 0:57:36.200 --> 0:57:37.840 Spider monkey? Sounds like you would find that out a 0:57:37.840 --> 0:57:39.240 word once he comes. 0:57:39.280 --> 0:57:40.800 That's what it looks like my body. 0:57:42.760 --> 0:57:43.439 Oh No. 0:57:43.800 --> 0:57:46.560 Vanessa Gonzales who opens for me on my tour, and 0:57:46.720 --> 0:57:50.800 she talks about men coming and it's it's so disenchanting. 0:57:50.920 --> 0:57:52.440 Yeah, it's always embarrassing. 0:57:52.560 --> 0:57:57.840 Like, yeah, faces when they come is embarrassing. You have 0:57:57.880 --> 0:57:59.680 to look away or just shut your eyes. 0:57:59.720 --> 0:58:00.560 How do we get here? 0:58:00.840 --> 0:58:01.240 I don't know. 0:58:01.320 --> 0:58:06.280 Spider monkeys. Okay, we're going to take a quick break. 0:58:10.400 --> 0:58:13.440 We're back. We are, We're back with Hannah Burner. 0:58:13.920 --> 0:58:17.080 We're back. I do have a little quickie. This is 0:58:17.120 --> 0:58:18.640 from Caitlin. Dear Chelsea. 0:58:19.560 --> 0:58:21.800 I think I seriously need my ass kicked, ladies, and 0:58:21.840 --> 0:58:23.480 I've figured you'd be the best ones to do it. 0:58:23.840 --> 0:58:26.000 I've been with my boyfriend for about fifteen months and 0:58:26.040 --> 0:58:30.760 we're absolutely in love. He's amazing everything I've always wanted. 0:58:30.880 --> 0:58:33.040 I've waited a long time for him. She's fifty five. 0:58:33.520 --> 0:58:36.560 Oh, However, I find myself being hung up on the 0:58:36.560 --> 0:58:40.080 fact that I make more money than him, like substantially more. 0:58:40.320 --> 0:58:42.600 I've never been in this situation before, but I'm not 0:58:42.640 --> 0:58:45.120 so sure how to handle what I'm feeling. When we 0:58:45.160 --> 0:58:47.640 go out, he drives and pays, et cetera. But when 0:58:47.680 --> 0:58:49.400 we take it to the next level and live together, 0:58:49.480 --> 0:58:51.720 I fear there will be resentment on my part because 0:58:51.720 --> 0:58:55.200 I'll surely be covering more of our living expenses. Chelsea, 0:58:55.240 --> 0:58:57.080 I'm sure you've been in relationships with men that make 0:58:57.160 --> 0:58:57.880 less money than you. 0:58:58.160 --> 0:59:01.080 How did you handle it? Please help me get over myself, Caitlin. 0:59:01.640 --> 0:59:03.440 First of all, men have been paying for us for 0:59:03.480 --> 0:59:07.680 fucking years, So get over yourself, Caitlyn, who gives a 0:59:07.720 --> 0:59:08.600 shit about money? 0:59:08.600 --> 0:59:10.680 Be happy that you're in a happy relationship. 0:59:10.280 --> 0:59:12.800 With somebody that you're attracted to then you want to fuck, 0:59:12.880 --> 0:59:15.280 and that you want to live with Who cares about 0:59:15.280 --> 0:59:16.240 who makes more money that? 0:59:16.280 --> 0:59:18.040 I don't care. I don't have any resentment. 0:59:18.440 --> 0:59:21.400 It's sometimes not hot if someone's broke, But as long 0:59:21.440 --> 0:59:23.960 as someone can like pay their fair share of something, 0:59:24.280 --> 0:59:26.080 and you make more money than you help out a 0:59:26.080 --> 0:59:26.640 little bit more. 0:59:26.680 --> 0:59:28.080 That's what a relationship is. 0:59:28.080 --> 0:59:29.960 Which guys sometimes are the worst. 0:59:30.400 --> 0:59:32.600 Oh god, yeah, you don't want it. First of all. 0:59:32.720 --> 0:59:36.000 No, this is very sexist, you know, to think that 0:59:36.200 --> 0:59:39.520 the protect I know I would never I hardly ever. 0:59:39.800 --> 0:59:41.480 I know I hardly ever defend men. 0:59:41.560 --> 0:59:43.800 But I have to say in defense of men in 0:59:43.840 --> 0:59:46.040 this one, like, you have everything you want and you're 0:59:46.120 --> 0:59:47.520 hung up on how much money you make. 0:59:47.680 --> 0:59:49.600 What if every man who supported every. 0:59:49.400 --> 0:59:52.880 Woman said that that's just silly, that's silliness, and that's 0:59:52.920 --> 0:59:53.480 old thinking. 0:59:53.520 --> 0:59:55.240 And you've been shaped by your society. 0:59:55.640 --> 0:59:57.120 And if he I'd rather be with a guy who 0:59:57.160 --> 1:00:00.400 loves his job and loves life. It makes me feel 1:00:00.560 --> 1:00:03.560 good about myself than a guy who's what you want him, 1:00:03.560 --> 1:00:05.360 a stockbroker that's like gone all the time. 1:00:06.040 --> 1:00:07.880 My friend sits on the couch, she doesn't even want 1:00:07.880 --> 1:00:09.439 to work anymore, and she loves him. 1:00:09.800 --> 1:00:11.520 She married him. 1:00:11.480 --> 1:00:13.240 Because I want to create a good life for us. 1:00:13.320 --> 1:00:15.320 And if that involves like me living my dream and 1:00:15.360 --> 1:00:17.840 me making money, yeah, we're all happy. You don't need 1:00:17.960 --> 1:00:20.600 finances from him, that's where you work, and he can 1:00:20.600 --> 1:00:22.080 never control you with finances. 1:00:22.160 --> 1:00:25.840 Yeah, exactly, Thank your lucky stars, Thank you You're welcome. 1:00:26.560 --> 1:00:30.320 Problem solved, Good night, kicked your ass, Hannah. This was 1:00:30.360 --> 1:00:31.400 a delight, your Adela. 1:00:31.480 --> 1:00:32.440 This was so much fun. 1:00:32.600 --> 1:00:34.760 You guys want to go see Hannah on tour, you 1:00:34.800 --> 1:00:36.800 can go to her website Hannah Burner dot com. 1:00:37.160 --> 1:00:39.440 She's touring all over the country. Is that correct? 1:00:39.520 --> 1:00:41.640 Yeah, and you can listen to her podcast, burn her 1:00:41.640 --> 1:00:42.800 phone and Giggly Squad. 1:00:43.400 --> 1:00:45.680 Thank you, Hannah Burner, Thank you, Chelsea Hm, thank you 1:00:45.720 --> 1:00:46.280 for being here. 1:00:47.000 --> 1:00:51.160 Okay, Chelsea, do you have some new dates for us? 1:00:51.440 --> 1:00:51.680 Oh? 1:00:51.720 --> 1:00:52.400 You know, I do? 1:00:52.800 --> 1:00:53.040 You know? 1:00:53.160 --> 1:00:53.480 I do? 1:00:53.840 --> 1:00:56.520 I have a lot of We added lots. 1:00:56.240 --> 1:00:59.360 Of Canadian cities, Canadians, I'm coming. 1:01:00.480 --> 1:01:04.880 We added about fifteen new tour dates. 1:01:05.160 --> 1:01:10.360 I'm coming to Denver again, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Richmond, Virginia, 1:01:10.520 --> 1:01:15.680 Santa Rosa, California, Gary and Diana, Baltimore, Rowna, New York 1:01:16.360 --> 1:01:20.400 and about seven dates in Canada. So go to Chelsea 1:01:20.480 --> 1:01:23.560 Handler dot com. I am performing everywhere. I will be 1:01:23.600 --> 1:01:26.040 on tour all for the rest of the year and 1:01:26.160 --> 1:01:28.920 through December, and then next year I'm going to be 1:01:28.920 --> 1:01:29.640 touring all year. 1:01:30.480 --> 1:01:33.360 So come and get it, you guys. It's good times and. 1:01:33.360 --> 1:01:36.320 It's a very much needed reprieve from all the fucking 1:01:36.400 --> 1:01:37.920 madness that's going on in this world. 1:01:39.240 --> 1:01:41.400 So I'm here to bring joy and sunshine. 1:01:42.040 --> 1:01:45.280 Do you have a holiday themed question for Chelsea? Please 1:01:45.320 --> 1:01:45.720 send us. 1:01:45.680 --> 1:01:49.000 All the questions that you need answered about crazy family 1:01:49.000 --> 1:01:52.680 get togethers, arguing over which cranberry sauce recipe to us, 1:01:53.080 --> 1:01:56.400 and all your holiday drama. Just send your questions to 1:01:56.560 --> 1:01:59.240 Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. 1:01:59.360 --> 1:02:00.160 Dear Chelsea is 1:02:00.280 --> 1:02:03.919 Edited and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law 1:02:04.120 --> 1:02:06.480 and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler 1:02:06.520 --> 1:02:09.200 dot com