WEBVTT - Chelsea Handler Confronts White Privilege 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.480 Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:05.840 Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:10.000 Facebook watch show in audio, produced by Westbrook Audio and 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:13.080 I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:18.040 on Apple podcasts. On this Red Table Talk. I couldn't 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:20.759 forgive anyone if they crossed the line with me, if 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:23.000 they didn't stick up for me. It's like out out. 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:26.560 I'm sitting here with a whole different Chelsea right now. 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:28.639 And that was after my father dragged me out of 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:31.240 their house by my hair. Did you feel like you 0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:33.280 were the white girl that was going to come in 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:35.239 and fix the family. I went up to her and 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:39.879 I slapped her on the butt and yeah, And she 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:44.000 said black women have been defined by their hair and 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:47.280 their asses for ages. You have no right to touch 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:57.520 my body. This is just such classic white privilege right here. Yes, 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:02.680 can we get the gating? Very excited to be on 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:06.759 the Red Table today. This is serious, can you say 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.600 on Red Table? I hope so. If not, I'm at 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:11.560 the wrong show. Things like that pop out of my 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.959 mouth so easily. The last time I saw Chelsea was 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:19.560 at her show. Okay, I've met Jenna Bigott spens out. 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.360 Great thing about Chelsea is as she's a stray shooter. 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:28.200 It's hard to find people, specifically white people that want 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.080 to talk about I want to talk about it. You know, 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.240 Mommy is always tell us when you're born white, you're 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.440 born with your foot in the door. And that's real talk. 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:38.800 That's the truth, right. A lot of white people don't 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:49.760 feel like that. Okay, Well, yeah, moving on, ladies, ladies, ladies, 0:01:50.400 --> 0:02:00.640 chel Oh, nice to meet you, know you Gamble. Everybody 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:05.080 calls me Gary, Welcome to the table, tolsee. Thank you 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:08.440 so much for having me. I'm really really excited to 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.960 have you here because white privilege. This is the topic 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:13.120 that we we talked about a lot. And I know 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.320 you're a straight shooter, all right, I hope, but I'm 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:17.560 screw it up too bad for you. You want not 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:20.040 screw it up at all. I'm telling you it's gonna 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:23.880 be good. So my understanding is that you kind of 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.320 had a a space in your life where you really 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:30.320 had to kind of deal with some of your anger 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:34.720 and really look at some internal issues that brought you 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:39.440 to explore white privilege. Well, I had a big shift 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:41.920 in therapy. I came from a lot of anger. Like 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:44.160 I was very tough, very like I could take care 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:45.960 of myself. I don't need a man on a new 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:49.480 babies back off, you know. I just had this huge 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:53.520 kind of shield up around me which didn't allow vulnerability 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.440 until I went to therapy and learned that I was 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:57.800 mourning the loss of my brother from nine and I 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:00.720 was still pissed about that I didn't anger is your 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.240 cover for being in deep pain. I'm sorry that I'm 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:05.440 forty four and just learning about this now, but better 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:07.480 late to the party than never to show up at all. 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:11.160 One day, my psychiatrists walked in and handed me an orange, 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:14.840 and I remember my seeing my body like I was 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:18.520 revolted that a man handed me something. And then I 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:22.320 was like, oh, you hate men doing anything nice for you, 0:03:22.919 --> 0:03:26.640 And when he handed it to me, I just became undone. 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:28.440 I said, I need to tell you about the day 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:31.440 my brother died and what happened to my family, because 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:33.600 him handing me something, just doing something. He picked an 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:35.520 orange off of his tree in his backyard and gave 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:36.880 it to me, and it was the nicest thing any 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.520 man has done for me. So I'm peeling the orange, 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:43.680 you know, foaming at the mouth, I'm like slobbering. It 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.520 was the first time I was able to release my pain, 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.600 release my anger. I didn't know that I was mad 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:52.040 at my brother for dying. I thought I was upset 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:53.720 or heard and that I was okay and I put 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:57.080 it away. Are you comfortable sharing what happened to your brother? Oh? Yeah? 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.520 So I was the youngest of six. He was the oldest. 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:01.680 His name was Chat. We did everything together and he 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:03.680 went on a trip to go hiking in the Grand 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:07.119 Tetons and he felt so The night before he left, 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.320 he said he was coming back and said to me, 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:13.800 I'll never leave you with this family, like talking about 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:16.000 my parents because they were a little bit and uh, 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:19.359 that was the last conversation I had. So yeah, you know, 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.839 we get stuck in victimhood. Also we want to blame 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:24.320 somebody else for bad things. Guess how many other people's 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:27.599 brothers died millions? You know. When I had a professional 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:29.719 explained that to me that I had spent my last 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:33.320 thirty some years being angry at men for disappointing me, 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.800 I was like, well, that makes perfect sense. Why I 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:39.880 can't be with somebody and why I need to do 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:42.599 everything on my own and you know, no dependence. I 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:45.080 don't want to depend on anyone. People can depend on 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.160 me and I'll show up, show up, shop shop, but 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:49.760 no one. I can never depend on another person. Did 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:55.279 you find that your rage affected your relationships with men? Yeah, 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:56.919 I mean I would, you know, if they didn't do 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:02.200 something wrong, I'd make sure they did. You know, all FRAMEO, like, 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:04.919 I know what's going to happen here, So let me 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.640 just set this up so I can dump you, you know, 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:13.200 in that deep impulsiveness, really bad impulsiveness and very Yeah, 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.679 just fly off the handle, you know, break up with somebody, 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:17.919 get back together with them the next day. I never 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:21.200 really had a healthy I've had some too long term relationships, 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:23.160 but I wouldn't describe either one of them as healthy. 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.839 I couldn't forgive anyone if they crossed the line with me, 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:28.599 if they weren't a loyal friend, if they didn't stick 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:32.040 up for me. It's like out out And then eventually 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:38.040 you're like, well, who's here? Who love exactly? Like it's 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:39.640 nice to be an adult for the first time in 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:42.680 my life. Yeah, I feel like that. I'm just now 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:53.159 entering an adult relationship with Will after we finally are 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:57.000 learning to have an adult relationship. I feel so different 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:59.120 than I've ever felt before. Now I'm on stage, I 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:01.400 don't drink before I go on stage anymore. Like I 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.960 used to just be like whatever, the second show would 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:07.279 be gone, and I'd be like, that's vaguely memorable, you know. 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:10.239 I just didn't have any respect for my own art. Yeah. 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:12.719 Are there people in your life that you feel like 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:15.440 you need to make amends too? I've made amends with 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:17.920 some people in my life, you know, like that's not 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:21.560 comfortable for me, you know, I definitely it's probably not 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:25.040 for most of them. It's not so I resisted. Yeah, 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:29.200 for me, just in my process to recognizing places where 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:31.560 I might have hurt people and looking at where I've 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:33.440 been a mean girl, looking at where I've been a 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.680 mean wife, for mean mom, just mean you know. So 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:39.680 it's so funny because you know, I never really looked 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:45.799 at myself as being mean. I know, like that, don't 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:49.760 be like that. No, you don't know that's that. No, 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:53.919 but that's the thing in our family. We're considered the 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:57.720 mean ones in the family. Absolutely, And I've really been 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.719 working on that. I have been working on that for years. 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:04.039 It's really really hard to shape and I had to 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.280 dismantle that a long time ago because I don't want 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.160 to behave like that. I want to be a girl's girl. 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:10.080 That's why I grew up with sisters, so I wanted 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:11.920 to be a sister to everybody, not just the women 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:13.480 I like. Right, you know, you don't have to be 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:16.280 best friends with everybody. As my best friend Mary McCormick says, 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.360 we're probably telling me to get the hell away, friend. 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:20.560 You don't have to be best friends with everybody, but 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:23.840 you have to be a sister everybody. Listen. I'm sitting 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:27.320 here with a whole different Chelsea right now, which is great. 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:31.840 I just really like, I'm like, look at miss Chelsea. 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.480 Miss Chelsea has been doing a work, honey. So as 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:40.520 part of our evolution, Chelsea made a controversial documentary, Hello Privilege. 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:45.120 It's me Chelsea, about a difficult topic. I'm clearly the 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:48.080 beneficiary of white privilege. I want to know how to 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:51.080 be a better white person to people of color. We 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.320 need to talk to people who are white and stop 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:57.360 asking black people to solve our problems. Do you think 0:07:57.360 --> 0:07:59.880 it exists? I wouldn't say it's totally non existent, but 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.920 not something about a savory but would you see it 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:08.400 if you're white. Yeah, I had to get therapy before 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:12.560 I shot this, but I had to learn how to 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:16.720 sit instead of talk and listen. So when you looked 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:19.760 back at it, did you feel any guilt in regards 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:22.400 to white privilege? Yes? Do you know when you look 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:24.920 at your life and you looked at being rewarded, even 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:28.680 in Hollywood for my bad behavior which was considered bad, 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:30.760 but I was being rewarded like a black girl would 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.839 never have gotten her own show to tell celebrities how 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.360 stupid they were. Never Like I would go to Mixed Nuts, 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:38.080 which was a black comedy club, and I had this 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:41.360 black best friend, Chandrella, and I always go to her club, 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:44.360 but she could never come to my club. She could, 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:47.280 but she wouldn't get spots. I mean, just the examples. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.559 When I go back and reflect, I'm like, oh, you idiot, 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:55.120 this the like you are a beneficiary of white privilege 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.120 to such a degree, like you are the American white dream. 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:00.480 Got it? Yeah? I can't. I didn't go to college 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:03.480 and think I needed to. Couldn't bother you know, right. 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:05.720 I just thought I was like, oh, I've got something 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:07.560 to say. I'm sure people will be interested in that 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:11.640 So I want to know that moment where your heart 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:14.480 cracked open and there was a level of compassion that 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:18.000 made you just go Chelsea, we have to understand how 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:22.680 we're participating in this white privilege idea. Okay, Tayshawn my 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.360 ex boyfriend from high school. I did him for two years. 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.000 I got pregnant a couple of times. I lived with 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:30.520 his family. His mother was a crackhead at the time, 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:32.960 she was on and off drugs. She was sober, and 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:34.679 so I was always helping out at the house. I mean, 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:35.880 I don't know what the hell I thought I was 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:37.640 doing there. I was sixteen years old. You know, did 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:39.760 you feel like, like, did you have that kind of 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:42.560 white savior thing happening going on with you when you 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:45.120 moved into his house? Did you feel like you were 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:47.280 the white girl that was going to come in and 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:50.240 fix the family. No? I think I came in. You know, 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.200 in my family, I was the problem child, and I 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.160 think in their family I wasn't. I was a good kid, 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:59.280 and I like that. I liked being the responsible one. 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:01.040 His mom would go out all night and leave me 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.240 with her two little to see, that's a little bit 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:06.080 little white savior in there. Well, yeah, but at that 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:10.400 age it was right now it would be. But I 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.720 wanted to be helpful, like I was finally helpful in 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:17.280 a household. I was congratulating myself at that age, like 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:19.600 I don't care about color. I love these people. I 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:22.040 loved his family. That was what I was focused on. 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:23.760 I wasn't thinking about him because I was at my 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:26.800 own ass for a very long time, and so I 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:30.439 was like, oh, instead of my sister saying these words 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.240 to me, you know how easy it was for you 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.320 to go into his world and leave. Think about what 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:37.400 would be like to bring him into your world and 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.200 how long he would last there. And that was, you know, 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.440 after my father dragged me out of their house by 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:44.800 my hair. At that point. You got in trouble a 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:47.280 lot when we were together, and I was always not 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.800 able to skirt out of the trouble. Like I remember 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:52.880 getting pulled over like four or five times on my 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:54.920 way home to the house when I had been drinking. 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:57.160 I had like five people in the car, and every 0:10:57.160 --> 0:10:59.280 single time I got through it. No, but she had 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:01.720 the COMPLEXI want to connection. Wow. I was in some 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.520 pretty hairy situations that I never ever paid the price for. 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:09.160 Never Tyshawn was wasn't dealing drugs initially at the end, 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:12.199 he was, but getting caught, you know, three times with weed. 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:14.680 He got arrested all three times, and I was let 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:17.520 go at the time. White privilege but didn't occur to 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.440 me at the time. I thought I have a great personality, 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:23.240 like and I'm cute, like that must be it. It 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.320 didn't occur to me until I had to go back 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:27.640 and actually look at that. I grew up thinking the 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.679 police were there to protect me. That's not how people 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:33.199 of color grow up. They don't think of that. Getting 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:36.800 pulled over is a life or death experience. Life or death. 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.960 I've been pulled over and yelled at the officers, yelled 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:42.080 like what do you think you're doing? You know, before 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.400 I was famous, just out of my entitlement, just been like, 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.600 you can't arrest me my father will my father? I mean, 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:49.000 my father was a used car dealer. I don't know 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:51.360 what I was gonna about, but I was just like 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:53.240 and you know, and I were it worked. I was 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:55.600 just like, had this mouth on me and I could 0:11:55.920 --> 0:12:00.559 and I thought, oh yeah, like police are safe. I 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.800 had a lot of revelation in watching your documentary, seeing 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:08.400 how white people could actually be confused by the idea 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:11.360 of white privilege and why there would be some white 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:16.280 people that believe that white privilege is non existent. So 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:20.040 what we're filming is a documentary on white privilege to 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.160 see if it exists or if it's a fantasy that 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:24.600 people are just making up in their heads. What do 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.520 you think. I think it's something they're making up in 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.760 their heads. You don't think it exists. I had the 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:33.959 same privileges that the other guys had, and what other guys, 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:38.760 other guys, black, white, Hispanic, right, I think everybody makes 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:42.280 their all twists. You were surprised about that. I was 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:46.760 surprised because because privilege to a lot of people is 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:50.160 related to money. That's how I thought of it, right, 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:52.800 And I read a line in a book that said, 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.800 too many people equality feels like a loss. Right, And 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:58.959 that's the moment that was the line. I'm very big 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:02.240 on one line taking equality feels like a loss. And 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.160 then I thought, what would I be willing to give 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:07.600 up in the name of equality? Right? If I really were, 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:08.880 if you were to say to me, hey, give me 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:13.160 your house and everything's gonna be fair and equal, right, sure, right? 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:16.760 But what would individuals who who have nothing to give, right, 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:20.000 be okay with giving. So I feel like if you're 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:23.400 born white, you're born with your foot in the door. Absolutely, 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:28.400 I've set down and broken bread with underprivileged white people, right, 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:30.480 So I could see how there would be white people 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.959 in America that would say, I don't know how I'm 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:34.959 paying my bills, I don't know how I'm going to 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.400 get my kid into college. Privilege. Oh you're struggling. What 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:41.439 are you talking about? And I think that's a defining word, 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:45.240 thou struggle. I've had hard times in my life, but 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.960 I've never struggled to eat, to have food on the table, 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:52.319 worried about my next job in a real way. Right. 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:54.160 But there are a lot of white people in this 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:56.880 country that do absolutely. Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying white 0:13:56.880 --> 0:14:00.440 people struggle. Absolutely, But that's a good words to use, 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:04.280 and it is intimidating because people don't want to get 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.720 out of their comfort zones that people who say I 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.680 don't I don't see racism. It's because you don't know 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.000 any black people, So when would you witness it? So 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:18.120 have you come up with a definition that you feel 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:22.800 really describes white privilege? And I always use the example 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:26.680 that you know, going into a grocery store as a 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.280 white person is totally different than going into the grocery 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:30.920 store as a black person. No one's looking at you 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.240 to screw up, no one's looking at you to take something, 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:35.240 No one suspects anything. Do you every times I've walked 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:37.200 out of grocery stores because the line was too long 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:38.840 and I didn't feel like waiting, I was like, this 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:41.840 is annoying, I'm just gonna take it and shoplifted. I mean, 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:43.960 talk about entitlement and privilege. I just knew I wouldn't 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.160 get caught. But when when you were talking to that 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.720 group of Republican women in the documentary, to me, that 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:57.320 was I can't get it out. I felt like, are 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.760 you living under a rock? There was not only an unawareness, 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:08.280 but um a righteousness about it, righteousness and just unconcerned. Yeah. 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:12.360 I didn't get anywhere by being white and having a privilege. 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.560 I got there because I worked my ass off, right, 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:18.520 So okay, I can respect that. What's your what's your situation? 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:20.400 My take on the white privileged thing is, I mean, 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:22.760 if we're gonna say there's white privilege, then you would 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:24.840 have to say that there's some form of privilege for 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:28.880 any race or any gender, any religion. If you're an 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.240 attractive woman, you have a privilege. I think there's all 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:33.720 different kinds of privileges. I mean, I don't know if 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:36.480 privilege is the right word. Do you think black people 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:40.680 have privilege and every every race, Like I said, every privilege? 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:45.600 Do people of color get the college admission? Now? Yeah, okay, 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:47.960 I mean that's kind of a big one. That's a 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:51.560 certain percentage have to be hired. Do you think that's wrong? 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:55.360 Not that that's wrong, but to really feel like you 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:58.120 need to hire someone based on their skin color, it 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:01.520 seems wrong. Isn't it kind of the right thing to do, 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:04.160 to say, Hey, let's give people who we were oppressing 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:06.240 for so long a little bit of a head start, 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:09.480 a little bit of an opportunity, since we've all benefited 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:12.160 from those opportunities. I know you don't think that you have. 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.840 I definitely think I've benefited from the color of my skin. 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:17.200 I don't think I would have gotten away with my 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:19.160 career if I were a black girl. Part of me 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:23.040 thinks it's time to move on and not get off. 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.840 And we're talking about it this country. We're in a 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:30.200 really really bad space right now. And um, you know, 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:33.200 I think a lot of us just are like just 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:35.440 throw up our hands and don't know what to do. 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:41.160 If any of those women had any black friends, somebody 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:44.200 in their life that's black that they actually love, right, 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.880 I mean they do not what they have the same 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:52.480 right ideas. But if you if you have no close 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:57.720 relationship with anybody black, then you're gonna be like, I don't, 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:00.600 I don't. I don't think you'll know, right, And I 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.480 think a lot of this whole attitude, but oh it racism, 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:05.880 it's minimal, and they just need to get over it. 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:10.439 What yeah, that is I mean that's in sensing obviously, 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:13.720 and it's also you know, yeah, they don't want to 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.760 be blamed for you know, their ancestors. It's like if 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:21.640 you can't admit, you know, you're resisting the idea that's happening. 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:24.879 So there's no shame in saying, yes, this is an epidemic, 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.639 this is terrible, this is a result of you know, 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.280 of our history, and we have to fix it. Like 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:33.120 until everybody can come to the table and say, hey, 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:35.600 yeah this is going on, now, teach me learn, let's learn, 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:37.040 because that's how I feel. I want to learn more 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:38.639 and more more and do the right thing. I had 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:40.840 a white friend the other day who said something that 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:44.400 was offensive that she didn't know was offensive about another 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:48.680 black person's features. And I had to pull my girlfriend 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:50.919 over and I was like, you can't do that, and 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:53.320 she said, tell me what I did. Yeah, I said, 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.439 you're Jewish. If I had said, I could tell that 0:17:56.480 --> 0:18:01.760 you're Jewish because of your nose, yeah right, yeah. And 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.160 I know you're not gonna like this, but I'm gonna 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.280 tell you because it was a learning point. But I 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:08.520 have done things like that in my life. This black 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:10.880 woman was standing up singing a song and I went 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:11.919 up to her and I said, oh my god, that 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:13.720 was beautiful and I hugged her and I slapped her 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:21.600 on the butt and yeah, I'm shocked a full right, Yeah, 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:24.119 yeah you are, and so is she. And she said 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:27.920 black women have been defined by their hair and their 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:31.480 asses for ages. You have no right to touch my body. 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.520 And she said it's not about your intention, it's about 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:39.840 the reception. And that was, Oh, it doesn't matter. I 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:43.040 smack everybody on the ass. I smacked my sisters. I 0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:45.359 shouldn't be I shouldn't be smacking anybody on their body 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.800 because it's disrespectful because I'm not taking into account other 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:52.520 people's experiences. So that was another lightbulb moment. So now 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:54.160 when I'm like, when people are like, well, I didn't 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:55.760 mean anything by it, it's like, it doesn't matter if 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.080 you didn't mean anything by it. It It was received that way. 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.879 You can't deny that not somebody's feeling badly because of 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:06.040 your action. Yeah, this is just such classic white privilege 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:08.040 right here, is because it's how you move about in 0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:13.200 the world. It's just a total unawareness totally. Yeah, that 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:17.040 for me and and probably my generation that we just 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:21.120 are very very impatient with now. So while you're asking 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:24.360 me to be compassion and I'm like, girl by with that, Yeah, 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:28.240 it's okay again, we can we can blue. Um, well, 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:31.199 I've heard it curse like seventeen times. But it is 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:34.920 so up to white people to fix this problem. It's 0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:37.640 not right exactly. That is by the pressure. I understand 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:39.480 that you're fed up. I would be fed up too. 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:42.760 I totally get it. I don't have any answers. I 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:44.719 don't know what the solution is, and I don't know 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.040 what I want you to do, right, I know what 0:19:47.119 --> 0:19:51.080 I want done. I just want some compassion because at 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:53.920 the end of the day, I think the biggest issue 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:56.399 is that part of the privilege is that you don't 0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:59.919 have to give up until it's time to give up, 0:20:00.560 --> 0:20:04.160 and that comes at different points. That's what happened today 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:07.280 for sure, that I didn't have to That's exactly right, 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:09.480 because I think the biggest issue for me as a 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:12.440 white person is that everybody is so scared to ask questions. 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.400 They're so scared to have uncomfortable conversations. It is hard 0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:18.119 to say to two black women, Hey, what can I say? Like? 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:19.800 I want to be you know, I don't I want 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:21.640 to be respectful and I want to be inclusive. Tell 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:23.800 me how I want to ask those questions because I 0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:26.280 want to be educated. I want to ask, you know, 0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:30.399 any sort of marginalized group, what is the most respectful 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:34.080 way to refer to you? To include you, you gotta 0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:36.840 go head first into deep things and get in trouble 0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:39.920 and say stupid things to learn how to say smarter things. 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:48.960 But I also think them for people to say stupid 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:52.040 stuff sometimes because at the end of the day, what 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:55.680 we can't deny as black people is that white privilege 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.760