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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace. Dear Sam, such it has since we started

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Speaker 1: the Okay Storytell podcast. Yes, and I have a message

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Speaker 1: for you, a delicious story that I think you'll love.

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Speaker 1: Sincerely Sam, But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak

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Speaker 1: must happen, I bid thee farewell.

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Speaker 2: See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 3: My fiance dump me over his daughter's lies. What it's

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Speaker 3: your daughter or me? So I'm thirty five female and

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Speaker 3: my fiance is thirty nine male. He has a fourteen

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Speaker 3: year old daughter. Me and my fiance have been together

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Speaker 3: for five years. His late life passed when his daughter

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Speaker 3: was five, and then I met him when his daughter

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Speaker 3: was nine. His daughter never really liked me. I think

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Speaker 3: maybe I came on too strong, or maybe she was

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Speaker 3: happier the way things were before I came. I don't know,

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Speaker 3: but I've always tried to beat her friend, but she

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Speaker 3: would never let me in. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Arrival No. Eighty nine, and if you want to

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Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 3: Storytime severed it so about three weeks ago we told

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Speaker 3: her I was pregnant. She wasn't happy, which is to

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Speaker 3: be expected, she's a teen. The problem is she's gone

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Speaker 3: around accusing me of telling her that this baby will

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Speaker 3: play start and basically trying to get rid of her

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Speaker 3: to make room for my kid. And I haven't told

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Speaker 3: her that at all. You haven't told her that, but

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Speaker 3: that's how she's feeling. Yeah, yeah, I well she's like

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Speaker 3: a teenager. She seems like a young teenager. Yeah, that's prob. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: she's like I've known all along. His daughter and her

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Speaker 3: friend had faked some messages between me and her, and

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Speaker 3: it basically said that I was gonna let the baby

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Speaker 3: take her room and that once the baby's here, her

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Speaker 3: dad won't care about her anymore. Dang, but I'm imagining

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Speaker 3: those aren't even like really well, they're not that good

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Speaker 3: of fake messages, you know, like l ol, gonna let

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Speaker 3: my like gotta kick my step daughter out, and.

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Speaker 4: It's the emoji that's like he's like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 4: that's so funny. Yeah, that's so whack.

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Speaker 3: It's like, dad, what, oh, how could you say that

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Speaker 3: to my daughter? And he's like, that's clearly fake. Right.

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Speaker 3: She showed them to her dad and he was mad.

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Speaker 3: We got into an argument, and he punted me out.

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Speaker 3: He sent me a long message saying that he couldn't

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Speaker 3: do this anymore and that he didn't know I was

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Speaker 3: treating his daughter like that and that we needed to

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Speaker 3: end things. Dang, dang. She was super effective. He said,

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Speaker 3: I have a month to move my stuff out. A

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Speaker 3: week after that, his daughter's friend said that the messages

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Speaker 3: were lies and that they were fake and that I

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Speaker 3: never said those things. I wonder how much presumably op

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Speaker 3: like tried really hard to be like that's a lie. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's not true. Hopefully, Yeah, man.

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Speaker 5: I mean props to him, like if this was a

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Speaker 5: real opening, props to him for just like taking care

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Speaker 5: of business and being like, no, you can't treat my

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Speaker 5: daughter that way.

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Speaker 3: But like didn't even ask any questions. We need some

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Speaker 3: we need some proof here. I'd be like, hey, why

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Speaker 3: did you send those? Why did you send those? Yeah? Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: He then came over to my mom's house where I

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Speaker 3: was staying, and he apologized and said that what kind

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Speaker 3: of a father wouldn't defend his daughter in that case?

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Speaker 3: And then I have to understand why he did what

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Speaker 3: he did.

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Speaker 6: Brother, you were talking to your wife. There's pregnant with your.

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Speaker 3: Next I forgot she was pregnant. I forgot she was pregnant.

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Speaker 3: He kicked his pregnant wife out with no like questions, asked, you.

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Speaker 2: Got you gotta be a little bit more detective here,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 3: Teenage girl, and you're not gonna do any more detective

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Speaker 3: for it.

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Speaker 6: And as a father, how do you not pick up

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Speaker 6: the vibe that your wife and your other kid is

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Speaker 6: not like vibe?

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Speaker 3: And the thing it's like, you're not even gonna because

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Speaker 3: I feel like he is not either setting up boundaries

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Speaker 3: with his daughter and saying, hey, like you don't have

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Speaker 3: to serious your mom or and but you gotta respect her,

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Speaker 3: and not like attempting to kind of make them copasetic. Right,

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Speaker 3: And also, this girl clearly needs therapy, because I mean help,

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Speaker 3: he said, like, oh, maybe she liked the way it

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Speaker 3: was before. Obviously she did. She liked it when she

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Speaker 3: had her mom, of course, so this girl needs therapy

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Speaker 3: if she's not adjusting.

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Speaker 5: To Yeah, it seems like he's just chalking it up

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Speaker 5: to being like a moody teenager.

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Speaker 3: But we can fix some of these things out come on.

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Speaker 3: He also brought back my ring as I had given

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Speaker 3: it back to him, and he said that he wants

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Speaker 3: to be a family again and that he wants to

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Speaker 3: raise our child in our home and together and not

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Speaker 3: a part. I told him I needed time to decide

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Speaker 3: as of right now, I don't want to because, yes,

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Speaker 3: I understood why you took her side, I understand why

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Speaker 3: you punted me out, but I don't understand why I

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Speaker 3: couldn't even get a chance to talk or to show

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Speaker 3: my proof, or to even explain my side and got

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Speaker 3: called degrading names. Yeah, he just took her word and ran.

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Speaker 3: And that's what makes me not want to go back

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Speaker 3: with him anymore. So would I be the a hole?

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Speaker 3: And folks, there's an edit and an update.

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Speaker 5: But what do you think I think, maybe give him

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Speaker 5: a chance in this situation.

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Speaker 3: You are married, you are having a kid on the way.

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Speaker 5: I don't think you should just be like no, I'm

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Speaker 5: actually out of here. Yeah, but this definitely is an issue.

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Speaker 5: This is like a big, big issue like that you

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Speaker 5: guys are gonna need to work through, possibly even bigger

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Speaker 5: than the issue that he thought was.

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Speaker 3: I agree at hand. You know I would not blame

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Speaker 3: op if she left right or a state gone. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because it's totally unacceptable that he didn't even question any

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Speaker 3: of this. Yeah, and also you know, name calling that

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Speaker 3: not okay. I think if op wanted to try and

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Speaker 3: fix this, the first thing I would say is, Okay,

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Speaker 3: well we need to get a hand. Like the only

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Speaker 3: way I'm coming back is if we get a handle

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Speaker 3: on your daughter. Yeah, and we like either take her

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Speaker 3: to therapy, her and I sit down, we try to

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Speaker 3: hash this out. You make an active effort to try

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Speaker 3: and make our relationship better. Yeah, because the problem is

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Speaker 3: not going to go away if she still hates O

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Speaker 3: Pete Exactly.

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Speaker 5: It's like I understand, like you want to prioritize her,

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Speaker 5: but what happens when you have another kid?

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Speaker 3: Like you're just gonna like I totally forgot about that before.

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Speaker 5: It's like, it's not just a new wife, it's like

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Speaker 5: a new wife plus another kid on the way.

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Speaker 3: So are you going to play favorites from the kids? Insactly?

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Speaker 3: I mean like he's doing kind of what the daughter

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Speaker 3: accused Opee of doing. Yeah, and I absolutely think that

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Speaker 3: he needs to stand up for his daughter. And a

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Speaker 3: lot of other Reddit stories we have dads who don't

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Speaker 3: stand up for the daughters and don't believe. Yeah, so

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Speaker 3: it's not like it's not coming from a good place, sure,

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Speaker 3: but it is a little bit kind of alarming that

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Speaker 3: he doesn't seem to see oh Pee as his family. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, he sees his daughter as his family, which

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Speaker 3: is good. But you should also be seeing your new

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Speaker 3: wife and your baby on the way as part of

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Speaker 3: that family rather than separate units. Exactly. But there is

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Speaker 3: an edit. I don't want to make her out to

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Speaker 3: be like this mean child because she's just been through

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Speaker 3: a lot, and I hate that it's now me versus her.

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Speaker 3: Top comments, Commoner one says, I think you need to

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Speaker 3: fix way more than just this one incident, Opie. The

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Speaker 3: daughter's behavior and how far she was willing to go

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Speaker 3: to frame you is concerning. She concocted a pretty elaborate

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Speaker 3: lie with an accomplice to get you out of the house,

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Speaker 3: and it wasn't her, It was the friend who had

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Speaker 3: a guilty conscience and confessed. How has your fiance dealt

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Speaker 3: with this until the situation with the daughter is addressed,

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't go back. I agree, and Reddit jumps to

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Speaker 3: suggesting therapy, but I really think everyone needs it. You

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Speaker 3: need to think about what kind of situation. You want

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Speaker 3: to bring your child into a house full of malice

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Speaker 3: and stress and you feeling unprotected. I can see why

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Speaker 3: you don't want to go back, so don't not until

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Speaker 3: you feel safe and secure and the fourteen year old

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Speaker 3: is in a better frame of mind to accept you

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Speaker 3: and a new sibling, not the a hole. Commoner two says,

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Speaker 3: do not go back into that home. God knows what

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Speaker 3: she'll do next. I don't believe the baby is safe there.

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Speaker 5: You.

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Speaker 3: Commoner three don't go back until his daughter goes to

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Speaker 3: therapy and actively participates as to why she did this

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Speaker 3: and other things. When the therapist says it's time for

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Speaker 3: you and your ex fiancee to join to come up

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Speaker 3: with a plan going forward to be a family, you

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Speaker 3: cannot go back until this is done. If you go

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Speaker 3: back now, she will claim that you are hurting her,

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Speaker 3: or other false accusations that get you into legal trouble.

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Speaker 3: She could get CPS involved, and you could lose your

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Speaker 3: custody of your baby. This is very serious. She has

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Speaker 3: already demonstrated that she's willing to lie and make up stories.

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Speaker 3: She may up the any since she's not getting her way.

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Speaker 3: You also need therapy. To decide if you want to

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Speaker 3: proceed forward with your relationship. He broke the fundamental trust

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Speaker 3: required for a relationship to be successful. He handled this

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Speaker 3: very immaturely and didn't hesitate to punch you to the

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Speaker 3: curb without even asking you if it was true or

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Speaker 3: why you say such things. This does not bode well

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Speaker 3: for the future. He's supposed to make you feel safe

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Speaker 3: and protected. He did not. Commond four. I wouldn't go back,

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Speaker 3: especially not now. You don't need to be in an

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Speaker 3: unstable environment while pregnant or with the newborn. His daughter

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Speaker 3: committed to her lie hard, and I wouldn't be able

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Speaker 3: to live with someone like that. She's a kid and

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Speaker 3: she needs a lot of help before I'd ever stake

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Speaker 3: my stability and babies and well being on her not

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Speaker 3: doing this again and addressing her issues. I get that

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Speaker 3: your fiance needs to back up his daughter, but I'm

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Speaker 3: troubled that he thinks he could do what he did

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Speaker 3: say a few words, and that you should come back

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Speaker 3: to him because the family needs to be together, because

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Speaker 3: it clearly didn't need to be together that bad before. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's true. You weren't a family, and both of them

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Speaker 3: showed you that the very least he could have done

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Speaker 3: was looked at your phone.

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Speaker 5: Literally, Yeah, honestly, lisit, the phone looked at like not

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Speaker 5: just screenshows list, at the daughter's actual text messages.

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Speaker 3: I truly just can't imagine that Ope was not saying

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Speaker 3: I did not do that. I did not do that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah right, you know, I can't imagine she didn't at

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Speaker 3: the very least say I didn't do that, yeah, because

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Speaker 3: then I'd be like, Okay, she's saying I didn't do that,

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Speaker 3: my daughter's saying she did. Let's do a little more investigation, right.

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Speaker 5: Right, Let's like trust both of these people, because again, yes,

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Speaker 5: it's not like this is some new girlfriend that you've

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Speaker 5: been dating for a month, you know, like your wife, wife,

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Speaker 5: like this daughter or fiance, Sorry, it's your fiance.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, soho's pregnant with your next kid?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, like that fiance is going to be the next

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Speaker 5: mom of a few of your your daughter that's already

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Speaker 5: you know, born, So.

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Speaker 3: You gotta you gotta hold her in like a higher respect. Truly. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: for now, I'd focus on my pregnancy and what a

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Speaker 3: co parenting relationship will look like while they sort themselves out.

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Speaker 3: You would be the a hole to yourself if you

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Speaker 3: went back with the way things are now and there

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Speaker 3: is an update folks seven months later, Oh wow, yeah, baby,

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Speaker 3: your baby probably, yeah, probably is here. I don't know

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Speaker 3: how pregnant she was before, but she's yeah, probably here.

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Speaker 6: So it takes a month to you know, be pregnant

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Speaker 6: or know that you're pregnant, and then it also probably

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Speaker 6: takes another month for you to be comfortable being like,

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Speaker 6: I'm pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. Associate the baby's here.

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Speaker 2: I know pregnant women. Guys.

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Speaker 3: Riley knows pregnant women.

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Speaker 2: Call me a pregnant woman. Doctor.

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Speaker 3: Go call him that.

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Speaker 5: Everybody call the pregnant woman, doctor Riley, doctor, pregnant woman.

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Speaker 3: Pregnant yeah. Amy lensays I wouldn't go back, and I

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Speaker 3: would retain full custody of the baby with supervised visitation

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Speaker 3: until the fourteen year old is in therapy.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I think.

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Speaker 6: We need a little touch more grace for the fourteen

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Speaker 6: year old.

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Speaker 3: I agree. However, I also agree that as of right now,

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Speaker 3: I think it is a dangerous situation to go back

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Speaker 3: into a household with a baby where a fourteen year

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Speaker 3: old actively hates this baby and sees this baby as

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Speaker 3: a replacement for you. Yeah, I argue therapy is super needed.

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Speaker 6: A lot of people are like, no, never, I could

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Speaker 6: never be in the same house. I think you just

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Speaker 6: need to have a serious conversation and revaluate.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying you, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Just saying, you know, I'm just also agreeing with.

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Speaker 2: You, and like what Sophia is saying, because we both agree.

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Speaker 3: We both agree. They agree on everything, We agree on everything.

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Speaker 3: We never disagree. Never. Courtney Electra says therapy is a

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Speaker 3: touch of grace, which, yeah, I think saying, hey, I

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Speaker 3: need therapy, and I need her to like at least

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Speaker 3: get on the same book as me, if not the

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Speaker 3: same page, yeah, or the dad needs to see what's

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Speaker 3: going on.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because if she's doing all that stuff, that's one thing,

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Speaker 5: But if the dad is like backing her up.

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Speaker 3: You can't. You can't be in the same household if

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Speaker 3: the dad's not gonna be on your side exactly, or

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Speaker 3: at least just do a little bit more you know, investigation.

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Speaker 3: Because also, what.

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Speaker 6: Are there like hanging out situations? Are they all hanging

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Speaker 6: out together or as a kid that kind of in

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Speaker 6: her room and no one's really out know, it.

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Speaker 3: Seems like op said that she had tried to be

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Speaker 3: friends or like befriend this girl and maybe came on

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Speaker 3: too strong, and maybe he also remarried or like started

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Speaker 3: dating a little bit too soon for her. That's what

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Speaker 3: I'm guessing, you know, because she's what she was like

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Speaker 3: six or seven when she lost her mom. Oh, and

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Speaker 3: then we don't really know when they started dating, but yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, like probably a few years and they started

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Speaker 3: living together. Was it too soon for this girl? We

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Speaker 3: don't really know. Yeah. Updates seven months later. So a

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Speaker 3: few people had asked for an update on this. I

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Speaker 3: had forgot about this account, to be honest, But I'm back,

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Speaker 3: so I'll give you an update. So I had went

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Speaker 3: back for like a month, and he had made her

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Speaker 3: apologize and everything, but I still had that feeling of

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Speaker 3: betrayal and bitterness towards him. It's hard to describe. So

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Speaker 3: I sat down and had a talk with him and

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Speaker 3: tried to explain it, and he asked if there was

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Speaker 3: any way we could work on it, and I told

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Speaker 3: him maybe in the future, like two maybe three years

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Speaker 3: from now, but did not hold his breath, as I

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Speaker 3: would like to focus on my pregnancy and then the baby.

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Speaker 3: We also discussed custody and I asked him if for

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Speaker 3: the first three years could the baby stay with me

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Speaker 3: full time, as I don't trust his daughter to be

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Speaker 3: with our kid full time, and he agreed, as we

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Speaker 3: both want to keep everything out of court unless needed.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 3: So she was like, yeah, maybe we can figure it

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Speaker 3: out two years from now, but as of right now,

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Speaker 3: she's gotta keep baby fully separate, Okay, which I mean

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Speaker 3: I understand. I still think that the path forward needs

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Speaker 3: to be therapy for this kid. Yeah. Also for anyone

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Speaker 3: who might ask, yes, I've had my baby, and since

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Speaker 3: she's still new, we haven't let his daughter meet her

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Speaker 3: yet as she's been going to camps. But if you'll

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Speaker 3: want an update when she does, I'll try to get one.

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Speaker 2: Guess who was right you.

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Speaker 6: Credible doctor woman, pregnant doctor Ryan.

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Speaker 3: The baby's here.

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Speaker 2: The baby's here, he's here.

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Speaker 3: I knew the good doctor, pregnant man.

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Speaker 2: What I forgot my title?

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Speaker 5: It's always changing all the time I was getting president doctor.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there are some comments, but I think there is

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Speaker 3: a chance that if his daughter meets the baby, she

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Speaker 3: might vibe with it. You know, she might be like, ah,

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Speaker 3: this is just a baby. I just can't blame you, man.

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Speaker 5: I really liked they is really Yeah, if she met

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Speaker 5: the baby at like an annoying four years old or something,

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Speaker 5: when the baby's like always throwing things and it's running around,

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Speaker 5: you know, it's being like talkative and stuff like that,

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Speaker 5: maybe she'd be like, oh my god, I can't deal

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Speaker 5: with this. But but yeah, maybe when she sees the

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Speaker 5: little guy that's like I've just met my nephew for

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Speaker 5: the first time, like a while ago, when he was

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Speaker 5: two weeks old.

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Speaker 2: Dude, she did not like him right before.

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Speaker 3: That is not true.

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Speaker 5: But baby just see it and I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 5: it move like that's crazy. It looks like it's so

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Speaker 5: still and like it's a little dull, but then it's

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Speaker 5: real life and moving around it.

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Speaker 3: No, it's crazy. I feel she'll have that. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: feel like you see, I mean, don't put your baby

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Speaker 3: at risk, but like, I feel like, you see how

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Speaker 3: she reacts to baby, and if she's like hate this baby,

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Speaker 3: then you're like you're a psychopath into therapy there you go.

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Speaker 3: Not sure, but I do think like seeing how she

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Speaker 3: reacts to the baby, and maybe, I mean, obviously she

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Speaker 3: can lie, but sure, I think there is. Usually if

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Speaker 3: you're paying enough attention, you can see someone's reaction to things. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: give her a chance, but don't leave her alone with

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Speaker 3: the baby. Yes. Top comments. Commoner one says, have there

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Speaker 3: been any tangible consequences for his daughter? Comeda two says, right,

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Speaker 3: this teenager caused so many problems with her lies and

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Speaker 3: she gets to go to camps. I would be sending

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Speaker 3: her to intensive therapy and make her work throughout the summer.

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Speaker 3: There should be punishment or she'll think she can pull

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Speaker 3: this kind of crop again in the future. Comeder three

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Speaker 3: says the same thing I said in the first post. Yes,

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Speaker 3: he had the right to take sides for his daughter,

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Speaker 3: but that does not include punting you out without explanation,

351
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Speaker 3: insulting you, and mistreating you. You should not go back

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Speaker 3: to him. That girl is never going to leave you

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Speaker 3: alone or accept you, and she's going to grow up

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Speaker 3: hating you family experience. Believe me when I tell you

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Speaker 3: that you don't want that life. Ps. How incredible that

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Speaker 3: the girl has ruined a marriage, at least partially for

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Speaker 3: the moment, and her only consequence was saying I am

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Speaker 3: sorry to what a great point of narcissism and bad parenting.

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Speaker 3: We have reached that making a person see that they

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Speaker 3: were wrong is all the punishment they're going to receive.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but know that is not a punishment or corrective.

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Speaker 3: It is a natural cause and consequence and does not

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Speaker 3: serve to teach any lesson. Believe me, you don't want

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Speaker 3: that life. Common Or four says, so the daughter faces

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Speaker 3: no consequences for her actions. If the friend never said anything,

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Speaker 3: she would have gotten away with it, and honestly, you'd

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Speaker 3: have zero self respect if you went back. Commoner Vive says,

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Speaker 3: sounds like the daughter needs a lot of therapy. Spreading

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Speaker 3: a dangerous lie like she did to get you out

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00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 3: bad form from your partner, to punch you out whilst

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Speaker 3: pregnant and not even listen to you. He needs therapy too.

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Speaker 3: Him and his daughter went through a lot. But as

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Speaker 3: she was five at the time of her mother's passing,

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Speaker 3: and I imagine her dad didn't help her grieve and

375
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Speaker 3: move on. She might not have had memories of her mother,

376
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Speaker 3: but it's time alone with dad before meeting you that

377
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Speaker 3: has shaped her life, but not in a positive way.

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Speaker 3: If this is how she's now behaving, it's sad to

379
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Speaker 3: think of the happy family you could have been and

380
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Speaker 3: how she wasn't looking forward to having a baby sister

381
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Speaker 3: to cherish. You made the correct choice to protect yourself

382
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Speaker 3: and your daughter from abuse by staying away, and that's

383
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Speaker 3: the end of that story. So wow, No, I mean,

384
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Speaker 3: Opie said, probably in two years we'll revisit this relationship.

385
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 3: It seems like we heard from other commenters like maybe

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Speaker 3: OPI had like a little edit in the comments or

387
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Speaker 3: something that she only had to say, I'm sorry, So

388
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Speaker 3: es man, Yeah, the dad really needs you really dropped

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Speaker 3: the ball.

390
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Speaker 5: Yeah, because I mean she if there's already the like

391
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Speaker 5: turmoil between the two and the daughter already doesn't like her,

392
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Speaker 5: the mom like she has to stay away because of

393
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Speaker 5: this new baby.

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Speaker 3: It's not like she's just staying awake. She's like, nah,

395
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Speaker 3: I don't want to be around her. You know, it's

396
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Speaker 3: like I worried for the safety of my child exactly.

397
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Speaker 5: But then the daughter could very well take that as like,

398
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, see she's being so hate to me.

399
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

400
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, like like she she would need to be kind

401
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,439
Speaker 5: of met with some sort of grace, you know.

402
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 3: But yeah, but but grace is important, but it's still

403
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean there's no consequences, but exactly, I mean, sorry.

404
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 5: Okay, I'm just thinking that like like kind of can't

405
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,360
Speaker 5: come from the fiance MP right now because she needs

406
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 5: to keep the baby way.

407
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 3: The dad needs to connect that.

408
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 2: I think the.

409
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Speaker 6: Biggest red flag in this whole thing is how the

410
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:48,719
Speaker 6: dad is handling this, yeah, kicking her out while she's pregnant,

411
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 6: nowhere to go, yeah, and then also not even doing

412
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Speaker 6: anything to like.

413
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 3: He's not helping anyone with kid. Yeah.

414
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,879
Speaker 5: Yeah, Honestly, I think needs the most therapy for su.

415
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 3: Well, Okay, I'm I'm gonna make a lot of assumptions

416
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 3: right now. So OP met daughter when she was nine,

417
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:09,119
Speaker 3: so about four years without her mom, yep. Yeah, and

418
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 3: yeah that seems like a lot of time for him.

419
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 3: But those are pivotal, you know. That's just like these

420
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 3: are the pivotal years yea for daughter who you know,

421
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 3: she probably doesn't really remember her mom, and so she's

422
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 3: got this big void in her life right where she's like,

423
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 3: I lost this really important person in my life. I

424
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,160
Speaker 3: don't even really remember her. Yeah, And I mean that's

425
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 3: so young, like you don't even think about losing your parents.

426
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 3: It's just that person's gone and you don't quite understand why.

427
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,439
Speaker 5: And then you're growing up with everyone around you, all

428
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 5: your friends, everyone at school, yeah, talking about their mom

429
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,640
Speaker 5: and like like that being such a giant.

430
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Speaker 3: Part of you because you're so young, they are during

431
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 3: pardon in your life. And then at nine years old,

432
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: so she's had this four years of just like not

433
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 3: really understanding what is going on, probably and then nine

434
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 3: years old, Oh, p comes in the picture, and I'm

435
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 3: just imagining the dad is probably like, well it's been

436
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 3: four years. That's a long time for me, and it's like, well,

437
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 3: that's not a long time for your daughter, right. She

438
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 3: doesn't like she like, was she in therapy? Yeah? Were you?

439
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 3: Were you making an effort to create that relationship. It

440
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 3: just doesn't feel like he was doing much. I feel

441
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 3: like he was just like, well, I don't know her

442
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 3: mom used to would be able to do this, but

443
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 3: I don't know how to do it, and just kind of.

444
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I try all of that.

445
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,160
Speaker 6: While that four years happened, he's probably starting to date

446
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 6: around or like two or three years in.

447
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 3: I mean, he was probably not the first person to

448
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 3: yeah if that, if he if.

449
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 6: He's and the daughter's probably growing resentment towards he's you know,

450
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 6: women that he's bringing around.

451
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 5: Well, because yeah, because then they're probably not like if

452
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 5: she's so she was you know, maybe feeling abandoned or

453
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 5: some sort of like feeling like that from her loss

454
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,239
Speaker 5: for mom and then oh a new prison comes in,

455
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 5: but that they don't stay for very long.

456
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's probably hard too. Mm hm. So I

457
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 3: mean she probably has the subandonment issues of of from

458
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 3: losing her mom and then seeing the other women and stuff.

459
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 3: It's tough. So I absolutely think there is grace that needs,

460
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 3: you know, to be given to this fourteen year old

461
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:06,120
Speaker 3: girl who lost her mom at a very young age. Yeah, However,

462
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,959
Speaker 3: grace does not mean no consequences. It is it's not

463
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 3: beneficial to her to not provide consequences because it's it

464
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 3: just it only it only hurts her, right. But that

465
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 3: is the end of that story, and we've got another one.

466
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:24,880
Speaker 5: I refuse to support my father's upcoming wedding because it sucked.

467
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 5: I twenty one female, have always had a rocky relationship

468
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 5: with my father fifty male. For some context, my parents

469
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,120
Speaker 5: got divorced when I was a young teenager. I don't

470
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 5: want to get into the details, but there was infidelity

471
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 5: on my dad's part, which is why my mom decided

472
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 5: to leave. The divorce was really ugly, but my mom

473
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 5: won the custody battle and ever since me and my

474
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 5: younger sister now eighteen female have been living with her

475
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:50,880
Speaker 5: and as a minor. Okay, by the way, this comes

476
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 5: from an absurd lady bird, and if you want to

477
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go.

478
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 3: To the ours slash Okay story time Sepreddit.

479
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 5: So since we were living with my mom full time,

480
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 5: he was supposed to pay child's However, the state I

481
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 5: live in also requires the parent to cover one third

482
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 5: of secondary education costs if the child decides to go

483
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 5: to college. The idea is basically, each parent and the

484
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 5: child covers one third of the total cost each. I

485
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 5: happened to get into the top university of my choice,

486
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 5: and not only that, I had gotten scholarships which covered

487
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 5: the full cost of my tuition.

488
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 3: Wow, look at you go look at smarty pants. The

489
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 3: only cost we had remaining were room and board.

490
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 5: So it was determined that since I had more than

491
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 5: covered my one third of the cost, that my parents

492
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 5: would be responsible for splitting half of the remaining costs or.

493
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 5: That's obviously caused some problems with my dad. The first

494
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 5: year of college, I constantly had to remind him to pay.

495
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 5: He was always paying late and sometimes not paying the

496
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 5: full amount, so I had to cover it out of

497
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 5: my own pocket whenever he fell short. My second year,

498
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 5: he suddenly stopped paying, which caused me to take out

499
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 5: a student loan.

500
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 3: Oh yikes, dude, that's really yikes.

501
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 5: I'm currently in the middle of my than last year

502
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 5: of university and I haven't seen a penny since he stopped.

503
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 5: That incident, plus what happens during the divorce has made

504
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 5: our relationship rough. My sister still has a relationship with him,

505
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 5: so I still try to keep things civil. I'm also

506
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 5: really non confrontational, so I have a hard time expressing

507
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 5: myself to my dad. He will often text and tries

508
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 5: to make an effort to hang out. However, it's been

509
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 5: more than six months since I've seen him in person. Now,

510
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 5: my dad has recently told me that he is getting remarried.

511
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not going to lie.

512
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 5: I'm a little shocked since my dad is basically a

513
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 5: man witch, which I'm assuming man or.

514
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 2: I thought it was something else.

515
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 3: Well, did they write man, because that doesn't really make sense,

516
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 3: or it would make a little bit more sense.

517
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think we get censored for that.

518
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 3: If you say it fast enough, they can't censor. They can't,

519
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 3: they won't pick it up.

520
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 5: At some point I found out he was dating three

521
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 5: different women, all at the same time.

522
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 3: But that's whole other story. I mean, he was dating

523
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 3: multiple women when he was married to your mom.

524
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 6: So tracks, dude, you have you know, you have to

525
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 6: have a job and then also see three different women

526
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 6: at the same time.

527
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 3: You don't understand because I can barely find time to

528
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 3: go on dates with one person. Yeah, honestly.

529
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 5: Anyway, Yeah, I don't get how these people do it.

530
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't. Impressive. Almost it is impressive.

531
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 5: Over the summer, my dad decided to move in with

532
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,360
Speaker 5: the new girlfriend after only dating her for two weeks. Questionable,

533
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 5: but that's none of my business.

534
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 3: Anyways.

535
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 5: The girlfriend, let's call her Nicole, seemed quite young, really young.

536
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 5: It turns out Nicole is twenty six years old.

537
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 3: He is twenty one. Dad is fifty.

538
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 2: Dad is fit.

539
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 6: Wait wait, wait, let's do some math real quick. So

540
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 6: what we're gonna do is we are going.

541
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 3: To you know, doubt fifty minus twenty six.

542
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,439
Speaker 5: By two doing what he's supposed to be dating thirty

543
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 5: two thirty.

544
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 3: It's not thirty two, my man, that's twenty six. That's

545
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 3: concerning white aways from thirty two, five years older than

546
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 3: your daughter. Even if you.

547
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 5: Were thirty two, dad, then twenty six would still be

548
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 5: a little like.

549
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 3: I think that's in the realm. I think I personally,

550
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 3: I feel like for me, it's like when she turned

551
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,439
Speaker 3: twenty five, or really twenty five is like around thirty.

552
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 3: That's like when you date a thirty year old. Now,

553
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 3: you could date a thirty to whatever you want.

554
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 5: It's fair, but that like for me, I'd be like,

555
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 5: the number in my head was twenty seven. That was

556
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 5: put's but I have thought or like I've seen the

557
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 5: twenty five number before.

558
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 3: This is my own personal that's fair. Whatever. You know,

559
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 3: if you guys are dating thirty year olds.

560
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 2: That's your Yeah, get after him, guys, get out.

561
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 3: Go get your thirty year olds, go for Yeah.

562
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 6: But if you were mommy and you were thirty two

563
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 6: and I was a twenty six boy.

564
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 3: Right, if I was twenty six and you were a

565
00:26:55,760 --> 00:27:00,160
Speaker 3: thirty two year old mother with two kids. I don't know, man,

566
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 3: you met a bunch of subsidized Well, okay, if it

567
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 3: was you, then sure, Okay. What if Riley was twenty

568
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 3: years old and you were fifty?

569
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 6: No, dude, Honestly, twenty year old me would be like, ah,

570
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 6: I'd love it.

571
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 5: I don't know if you would. At twenty years old

572
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,719
Speaker 5: would be older than my mom. Handly, we have just

573
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 5: started this story. We are one seventh a way.

574
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 3: Now. We know what Riley and Riley would do. We

575
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 3: don't know what Andrew would do.

576
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 5: To put that in perspective, She's only five years older

577
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 5: than me. I'm gonna be honest, I'm really uncomfortable with

578
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 5: their age gap. I know they're both consenting adults, a butt,

579
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 5: since we're close in age, it rubs me the wrong way.

580
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 3: Flash forward to September and my dad lost his job.

581
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 5: And then him and Nicole suddenly decided to go in

582
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 5: this big trip to visit her family in Georgia, which

583
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 5: was strange because that is a little expensive for someone

584
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 5: who just lost their job.

585
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: They were gone for over a month. That's a real

586
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 3: big expense. Yeah, especially also when you're supposed to be

587
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 3: paying for my freaking college. Yeah, what we have? All

588
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 3: that money is much. Doesn't seem like you're paying for

589
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 3: anything for me?

590
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, and all this time to tell me all about Nicole,

591
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 5: but not enough time to pay me back. Questions started

592
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 5: being raised on why they stayed there so long. Turns

593
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 5: out and Nicole was married and had to go back

594
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 5: to Georgia to get a divorce from her husband.

595
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 3: What Yeah, wow, do you really know how to pick them?

596
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 3: At twenty six? That's okay, I'm sorry, just to make

597
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 3: sure I got that correct. Yep. Oh, twenty six year

598
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 3: old yep takes her new man yep back to where

599
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 3: she lives to go divorce her current husband. Yep. Yeah,

600
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 3: that's crazy, crazy, dude.

601
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 5: I don't know all the details about her previous marriage,

602
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 5: but I do know that she got married and that

603
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 5: my dad knew that she was still married when they

604
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 5: started dating. They got back from the trip, and my

605
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 5: dad and her officially announced there in engagement sometime in November.

606
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 5: I don't really know how to feel about the whole thing.

607
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 5: They got engaged, so she's like, okay, we just gotta like.

608
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 3: Like, hey, I really love you.

609
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 5: I love the idea of like marrying you, but like

610
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 5: really quick. I gotta like just like tie up some

611
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 5: loose yes, I gotta like just take.

612
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 3: Care of themself.

613
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 5: And it's like, oh, come with you, yes, ah, sure, Okay,

614
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 5: It's like I have to do something.

615
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 3: It's like if it was Pirates of the Caribbean and

616
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 3: they were on the hunt for the black pearl, except

617
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 3: the black pearl is a divorce to your usband. Yep,

618
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 3: for sure. For sure.

619
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,719
Speaker 5: They have since then reached out several times asking me

620
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 5: to come to the wedding. All throughout winter break, I've

621
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 5: been thinking about it. They tried to invite me to

622
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 5: a family game night, but I declined because they scheduled

623
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 5: it on my mom's fiftieth birthday, which I think they

624
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 5: did on purpose.

625
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 3: Absolutely, they did it on purpose. For real.

626
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 5: They tried to ask me to come celebrate Christmas and

627
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 5: got upset when I said that I wanted to spend

628
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 5: Christmas morning with my mom. I heard them both talking

629
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 5: bad about me over the phone with my sister because

630
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 5: I didn't do Christmas with them.

631
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 3: They don't want to get into it, but they basically

632
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 3: called me a witch on the phone. Yikes, you get

633
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 3: the idea.

634
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 5: They basically say stuff to my face about wanting me

635
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 5: to be there and sweet talking to me. But then

636
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 5: I hear them saying stuff behind my back. I was

637
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 5: already unsure if I wanted to go, but now I'm

638
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 5: sure I don't want to go. When I told my

639
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 5: sister I wasn't going, she threw a fit and told

640
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,239
Speaker 5: me that I was being a bad daughter by not

641
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 5: going and that I was just being petty. I told

642
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 5: her I disagreed, and that I would not be attending

643
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,000
Speaker 5: a wedding with people who disrespect me.

644
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 3: Boom, there you go.

645
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 5: Yep, they are having the wedding in January after less

646
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 5: than six months of knowing each other.

647
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 3: You know how long it's gonna last? Less than six months?

648
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 2: No, it's gonna last. So she finds another man that

649
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 2: she's gonna.

650
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 3: Have to do, and then she's gonna bring her new

651
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: band to go divorce open dad. Yeah, because then he'll

652
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 3: be too old at that time. Yeah, he's gonna be

653
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 3: fifty five fifty one either. Yeah, it's not gonna last

654
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 3: five years fifty one. Yeah.

655
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 5: We suspect the urgency maybe due to the fact that

656
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 5: my dad doesn't have health insurance any more and she does.

657
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 3: But that's crazy he's gold Diggings. Yeah, she's on her parents'

658
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 3: health insurance, and he's like, hey, like, my back has

659
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 3: been really bugging me recently, and she's really checked like

660
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 3: I've got people. Yeah.

661
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 5: Anyways, the wedding is this upcoming weekend, and some of

662
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 5: the family members are upset with me for not attending.

663
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 5: I think I just need some perspective. Am I in

664
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 5: the wrong here? And there isn't updates?

665
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 3: But what would you possibly be in the wrong for? Yeah? No,

666
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 3: not going to your dad's wedding to this twenty year old?

667
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, like she's gonna be like we could be

668
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 3: like sisters.

669
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: Do they know the full story like you do? That's

670
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 2: what probably not I need to know that.

671
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 3: I doubt any of the family members are aware that

672
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 3: they've been like crap talking you.

673
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

674
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 3: True.

675
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 5: I mean they would have to piece some things together

676
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 5: of like, Okay, well we knew that he was married

677
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 5: in the first place, had these kids, and then now

678
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 5: he's marrying a.

679
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 3: Twenty six year old dad. I'm sorry. If someone in

680
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 3: my family was marrying a twenty six year old at fifty,

681
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 3: everyone would be talking about it. Yeah, everyone will be

682
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 3: talking about gossip spreads around my family like the plague.

683
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 5: But yeah, no, that's so upsetting because I feel like

684
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 5: the sister especially is probably uncomfortable with the situation herself,

685
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 5: but the fact that she's putting up with it and

686
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 5: that OPI is able to not put up with it,

687
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 5: and she's like.

688
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 3: You're allowed to. You can't do that. I have to struggle.

689
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 3: You have to struggle with me. We're this together. Yeah, please,

690
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: but you can. You can get out of there too, sister.

691
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 3: You don't have to go. But there is an update.

692
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 1: Sam here ogi host. We're going to get back to

693
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: these stories, but here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

694
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 5: First. To start off, I did not end up going

695
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 5: to my father's wedding. Instead, I stayed home and spent

696
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 5: time having fun with friends and my mom. My sister

697
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 5: was really upset to me for pulling out at last minute,

698
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 5: even though I had made my intentions clear earlier. She

699
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 5: posted pictures of the wedding on her Instagram story, which

700
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 5: had some passive aggressive comments in it about spending time with.

701
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 3: Her real family.

702
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 5: I admit that sung a little, but I brushed it off. Well,

703
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 5: something happened after the wedding. This is content I left

704
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 5: out of my original post because it wasn't relevant, but

705
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 5: it has now become relevant. After my dad stopped paying

706
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 5: for school, I had a long, hard thought about which

707
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 5: family members have actually been there for me. My mom

708
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 5: had been raising me as a single mom, and even

709
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 5: though she couldn't financially help out a lot in college,

710
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 5: she has been here for me every step of the way.

711
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 5: My grandparents on my mom's side are so unbelievably supportive,

712
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,959
Speaker 5: and I probably wouldn't have been able to make it

713
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 5: through college without them keeping me sane. My mom went

714
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 5: back to her maiden name during the divorce to match grandparents'

715
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 5: last name, while my sister and I kept my dad's

716
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 5: last name. After the financial falling out with my dad,

717
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 5: I decided to take my mom's last name. I don't

718
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 5: see why I would want his last name on my

719
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 5: bachelor's degree since it was my mom and grandparents that

720
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 5: supported me throughout high school and college.

721
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 3: That's so cool. Yeah, I really like that. I like

722
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 3: that too.

723
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 5: I completed the paperwork a little bit before Thanksgiving and

724
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 5: have now finalized my name change.

725
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 3: Really cool. Yeah, that is I think your mom would like.

726
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 3: I'm assuming your mom would really appreciate that.

727
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 5: Here's the thing, I was waiting to sit down and

728
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 5: have an in person conversation about my name change with

729
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 5: my father. My sister also didn't know, because I knew

730
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 5: she would go behind my back and tell Dad before

731
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 5: I got the chance to, and I wanted to at

732
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 5: least explain myself before the crap storm happened. I was

733
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 5: waiting for a good time to do it, but between Finals,

734
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 5: Christmas and his wedding it didn't seem like a good time. Apparently,

735
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 5: a couple days after the wedding, my sister found out

736
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 5: about my name change. She did exactly what I thought

737
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 5: she would do, and she immediately went and told my.

738
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 3: Dad her sister's problem man, even.

739
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:30,399
Speaker 5: Though she was explicitly told not to after I explicitly

740
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 5: asked you not to come on. When I confronted her

741
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 5: about the situation, she basically gaslighted me, saying it was

742
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 5: my fault for lying and that she had a right

743
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 5: to my personal information because we're a family.

744
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 3: Well we don't have the same last name, so maybe

745
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 3: we're not even family anymore. Yeah, exactly, even two could too.

746
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 5: Also, I think if you're talking about rights, I think

747
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 5: you can literally see that.

748
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 3: You don't have that right, yeah, my guy. Mm hmm.

749
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 5: I tried to explain that I was waiting to talk

750
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 5: to dad about it first, but she wasn't really willing

751
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 5: to listen to me. We haven't really been talking a

752
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 5: lot recently, but honestly, that's fine by me because as

753
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 5: of lately, she hasn't been the most supportive. Dad is

754
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 5: pissed at me, which I knew was coming. My dad

755
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 5: believes in traditional values. He thinks that he has a

756
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,399
Speaker 5: right to my last name because he is the head

757
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 5: of the family.

758
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:23,800
Speaker 3: He believes in traditional values. But got divorced. Yeah, sorry,

759
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 3: cheated on his wife, Yeah, got divorced, was dating like

760
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 3: three separate women, wasn't paying for his kid, left his

761
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 3: kid basically, and has now married to a twenty year old.

762
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 5: Not very traditional, not the most traditional, my guy. He

763
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 5: just wants the power.

764
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 3: Maybe the marrying the twenty six year old these are

765
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:41,240
Speaker 3: the most traditional?

766
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, But according to traditional values, wouldn't I be

767
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 5: changing my last name if I got married anyway? What's

768
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 5: the difference if I want to change my name to

769
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 5: the one I want to use professionally. Apparently he was

770
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 5: so upset that he didn't even bother to contact me

771
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 5: on my birthday.

772
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 3: Is that different than how he usually is?

773
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:58,439
Speaker 5: Yeah?

774
00:35:58,520 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 3: Right.

775
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 5: His new wife is pissed at me for starting drama

776
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 5: after her wedding and is now going around to that

777
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 5: side of the family and is talking crap about me

778
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 5: with my sister. My grandma on my dad's side is

779
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 5: also upset at me. On my birthday, I received a letter,

780
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 5: she said me, basically saying that she was disowning me.

781
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 3: Oh my god. She has not really been in my

782
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 3: life since the divorce. That's so funny. It's like like

783
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,479
Speaker 3: I have someone who's really not in your life be like, well,

784
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 3: I'm disowning It's like, well, I didn't know you were

785
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 3: I didn't know we were close. Yeah. And she literally

786
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,359
Speaker 3: is like quitting before, like.

787
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 5: Right after she got fired, because OP was literally like, well, yeah,

788
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 5: I'm disassociating myself with that side of the family. I

789
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 5: don't have your last name anymore. I don't know I

790
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 5: disowned you, man, like.

791
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,720
Speaker 3: You can't disown me. I disowned you first.

792
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, we are not close, But she's actually such a

793
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 5: boy mom and treated my mom so awful before and

794
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,280
Speaker 5: after the divorce.

795
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 3: This is part of the reason that we don't talk.

796
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 5: There is a little bit more to this story, but yeah,

797
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 5: what are our thoughts after all of this this wacky doodle.

798
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, I feel like distancing yourself from your dad,

799
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 3: which is already kind of what you've been doing. Yeah,

800
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 3: uh and just I think i Ope said it in

801
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 3: a way I liked of I'm seeing who in my

802
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:14,319
Speaker 3: family actually is there for me. Yeah, and yeah, taking

803
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,720
Speaker 3: taking stock of those people and then keeping those ties,

804
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 3: you know, close to you. Yeah.

805
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 5: Absolutely, Because like at first I was thinking, oh, maybe

806
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 5: the sister is just kind of jealous that OPI's like,

807
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 5: you know, actually standing up for herself and like not associating.

808
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 3: With the drama.

809
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 5: But then I remember that like the Opie heard them

810
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 5: all crap talking because they were on the phone with

811
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,879
Speaker 5: so the sister is just as bad.

812
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 3: I think, pro the sister's eighteen, she's also lived her

813
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 3: life basically with her mom. I honestly think it's a

814
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 3: bit of like she really wants a relationship with her

815
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 3: dad and is willing to do kind of anything to

816
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 3: get it, And if that means thrown op under the bus,

817
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 3: so be it. Yeah that makes sense, which sucks. I

818
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 3: can see that, But I. Yeah, maybe in time she'll

819
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 3: realize that your dad actually doesn't really care for either

820
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 3: of you, no matter how hard she tries.

821
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,359
Speaker 5: So yeah, because maybe once OPI has removed herself from

822
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 5: the picture, maybe they won't have enough leverage to make

823
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 5: fun of her for yeah, and then they'll start kind

824
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 5: of making to sister, and then she'll understand.

825
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 3: That these people suck. But there is a little bit

826
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 3: more to the story.

827
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 5: So even though the letter was rude, I low Ki

828
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 5: found it kind of funny. She wasted nice stationary and

829
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 5: postage to send me such a nasty letter.

830
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 3: She basically just wants to.

831
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:33,320
Speaker 5: Stir up drama, and that's exactly what that family wants, drama.

832
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,399
Speaker 5: So I decided not to give them that satisfaction. I'm

833
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 5: going no contact with my dad, his new wife, and

834
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 5: my grandma after everything that's happened. They have shown me

835
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 5: that they don't value our relationship. I'm leaving the door

836
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 5: open for my sister to contact me, but I'm not

837
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 5: holding my breath. I think she needs to learn to

838
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,760
Speaker 5: respect that. I just don't want a relationship with my dad.

839
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 5: I'm glad that I'm cutting people out of my life

840
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 5: that don't value me. Because honestly, it gives me more

841
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 5: time to focus on the people that do. I'm going

842
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 5: to be graduating this spring and I can't wait to

843
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 5: celebrate my degree with my chosen last name on it.

844
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 5: And that's the end of that story. Yeah, good on you.

845
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 5: That is honestly good timing to change your last name.

846
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 3: I agree.

847
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

848
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 3: I knew someone one time that was like their parents.

849
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 5: The mom got like a nursing degree or her PhD

850
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 5: or something, and she didn't change her name when she

851
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 5: got married because she's like, well he didn't have the degree.

852
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 5: It's not doctor him, you know, it's doctor me, you

853
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 5: know what I mean.

854
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 3: So I support it. Yeah, good job my mom didn't

855
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 3: change her name. But growing up, people would always just

856
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 3: kind of assume, Oh and so yeah she was called

857
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 3: missus Donner a lot. Oh yeah, she's not get her

858
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 3: what is it? Mcphaden. Mcphaden to Scottish.

859
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 5: Sounds very Scottish. You can't say it without Scottish. It's

860
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 5: like how you're going to get into your Scottish act

861
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 5: that first.

862
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 3: Mcfaden.

863
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 5: That's great, But yeah, that's the end of the story.

864
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 5: I think, Yeah, screw them. They never treated you right.

865
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 5: You read them in your life?

866
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 2: You did?

867
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 3: I agree, and folks, that's the end of that story.

868
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 3: And we got one more in this episode. My daughter's

869
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 3: ex stepfather wants to rekindle their connection. Ooh, is this

870
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 3: a good idea? I don't know. In November of twenty nineteen,

871
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 3: I forty two male, was playing a game with my

872
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,399
Speaker 3: wife forty two female, and our kids nine and four male,

873
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 3: when I got a knock on my door. When I

874
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 3: opened there were two officers and a shy girl who

875
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 3: I will call Jane now nineteen female. WHOA. I let

876
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 3: them in and the cops explained that Jane was my

877
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:42,919
Speaker 3: biological daughter. WHOA, this is like that movie with Amanda Bynes. Yeah,

878
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 3: Colin Firth? Is that Colin Firth? I have never heard

879
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 3: that name before. Anyway, I had no idea of this,

880
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 3: but they brought me a DNA test. By the way,

881
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,359
Speaker 3: this comes from throw a Lost in Hell And if

882
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 3: you want to smit your own stories, go to the

883
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 3: r slash. Okay, storytime severed it, so then it all

884
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 3: it all made sense. For some backstory, I had a

885
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 3: one night stand twenty years ago with a random woman

886
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 3: I met at a party. The woman was actually married

887
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 3: and her husband, who i'll call Steve forty three male,

888
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 3: found out Jane wasn't his after Jane took a twenty

889
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 3: three and me test as a small gift from one

890
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,399
Speaker 3: of her friends. Ooh, do you imagine being that friend.

891
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 3: I was just like a.

892
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 6: Day or the friend knew and had at the mom's eyes,

893
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 6: the dad's eyes.

894
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,839
Speaker 2: In her eyes, and was like, he's not right.

895
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 3: It's like in ratitude. When he starts connecting on the

896
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 3: dots that music's playing, They're like yeah. When Steve found

897
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 3: out about this, he immediately blew up a Jane and

898
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 3: the mom punted them both out of the house. Honestly

899
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 3: to say, I see saw it coming. A whole move

900
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 3: on the dad's part. Absolutely to punt your nineteen year

901
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,919
Speaker 3: old daughter who you've been dad to for nineteen years. Yep,

902
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 3: absolutely ale move. He better said, I'm so sorry, come

903
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 3: back here. Yeah. During the divorce process, he told Jane

904
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 3: that she was alive, he would never be his daughter

905
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 3: ever again, and he never wants to see her ever again.

906
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, that's so terrible because mom knew, she

907
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 7: didn't obviously know and not p Yeah, exactly, Jay, So

908
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 7: imagine just one day.

909
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 3: Waking up and it's like, oh, my dad isn't my dad?

910
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,760
Speaker 3: And also he hates me now and also he hates

911
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 3: That's crazy. Jane cried and begged for him because she

912
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 3: only ever knew him as her father, but Steve took

913
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 3: his name off the birth certificate and went no contact.

914
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 3: That is so hardcore of an ahole move. Like how

915
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 3: the fact that you can turn a situation where you've

916
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 3: been wronged so much into one where you are the

917
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 3: biggest day?

918
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:52,800
Speaker 5: Yeah?

919
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's impressive, dude.

920
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 5: Wow, how much of an ah you can ah yikes?

921
00:42:58,840 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 2: Yeah?

922
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 3: When I asked she isn't staying with her bio mom,

923
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 3: they told me that the mom fell into a depression

924
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 3: that started taking substances. She was involved in an accident

925
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 3: a week ago that caused her to be taken away

926
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 3: from CPS.

927
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 5: Whoa wow, dude, Wait a lot is happening at this age?

928
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,320
Speaker 3: She Wait? Actually no, I don't think she is nineteen

929
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 3: at this point. Oh, she's like sixteen or something. Waits

930
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 3: always got to say, why would she have been taken away?

931
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 3: I was thinking that too. Oh my gosh, hold on,

932
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 3: wait it says now nineteen? I think yeah, now nineteen?

933
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 3: So she must have been younger. Yeah, yeah, because otherwise,

934
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 3: why would CPS be there?

935
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

936
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so this is not She's not nineteen right now.

937
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 3: Even worse, I agreed to let her in and Jane

938
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: brought her bags in the house. This was obviously very unstable,

939
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 3: as for a while Jane was shy around us. She

940
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,320
Speaker 3: didn't talk a lot. My wife and I were welcoming

941
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,919
Speaker 3: to her as much as we could. Our oldest son,

942
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 3: Alex immediately started loving Jane and tried to spend time

943
00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,759
Speaker 3: with him. He always wanted a sister and spent a

944
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 3: lot out of time with Jane. Our younger son, Tony,

945
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 3: was a newborn when she arrives, so we just grew up.

946
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 3: But they're in love, he naturally. Over time, Jane started

947
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,280
Speaker 3: becoming more open with us. We got closer and closer,

948
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 3: and in December twenty twenty, when the family was having

949
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 3: a movie night, Jane kissed me on the cheek and said,

950
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 3: I love you, Dad. I'm just like imagining this young

951
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 3: sixteen year old has been kicked out of her house.

952
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 3: Fifteen fifteen year old. Sure, this young fifteen year old

953
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 3: has been kicked out of her house. Yeah, her mom

954
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 3: has been you know, she's been taken from her mom

955
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 3: by CPSU and then the police brings her to a

956
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 3: man that she's never met before, never never met before,

957
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 3: my dad, Yeah, literally imagining like eight, Like you show

958
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 3: up with the police, Yeah, on the doorstep of man

959
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 3: I never met, right, and then and then they take

960
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 3: you in and like and it works out and it

961
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 3: works out.

962
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 5: Oh.

963
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 6: Also, statistically, uh, one, this may have happened to one

964
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,839
Speaker 6: of you, This almost happened to one of you. Statistically,

965
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 6: what do you mean, like you watching right now? Well,

966
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 6: this may have almost happened to you, or it did

967
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 6: happen to Please comment?

968
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: Hey's John Og host.

969
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

970
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 1: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

971
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 3: We all cried except me, lol of happiness. Why did

972
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 3: you cry? My daughter is now a beautiful nineteen year

973
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,959
Speaker 3: old lady in college, and it's like we've already raised

974
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 3: her for the nineteen years of her life. Now to

975
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 3: the problem.

976
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 5: No, wait, I forgot there there was a problem in

977
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 5: this whole story.

978
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 3: I didn't like, I really feel bamboozled right now. I

979
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 3: thought that was the whole story. No, I don't want

980
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 3: to prob. I thought that was it. I got a

981
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 3: random message a week ago from someone I didn't recognize.

982
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 3: When I opened it, I realized that Steve had sent

983
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,720
Speaker 3: the message. It was pretty long, so I'll just reword

984
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,360
Speaker 3: it here. Hello, oh Pie, I want to talk to

985
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 3: you about Jane. When I found out she wasn't mine,

986
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 3: my world shuddered. I punted her out because I couldn't

987
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 3: bear to see her after the love of my life

988
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 3: had betrayed me in such a devastating way. Shut up, you,

989
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 3: little baby man. Yeah hate you. I know you had

990
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 3: no fault in this, but it still hurts. Over the

991
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 3: last year, I've realized my daughter will always be my

992
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 3: daughter and nothing could change that. I want to reach

993
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 3: out to you so I can apologize to her, but

994
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 3: please let me see her again. I hate you. At

995
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,880
Speaker 3: first I wanted to tell Jane, but then I remember

996
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 3: a conversation about seven months ago. My oldest son asked

997
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 3: about Jane's other father, Steve, and I overheard Jane say

998
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 3: something like, oh, you mean ex father. He doesn't realize

999
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 3: the damage she had done to me, and it took

1000
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 3: so long to recover. I have confided in only my

1001
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,359
Speaker 3: wife about this and she told me to just leave

1002
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 3: the message be and ignore it. So now I'm stuck

1003
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 3: with three outcomes. Tell Jane about the message and raise

1004
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 3: hell fire again, respond to it myself and see how

1005
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 3: it goes. Just ignore the message and let her life

1006
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 3: continue as normal. I'm not sure completely what to do.

1007
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 3: Edit forgot to mention that my daughter still lives at

1008
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 3: home since the college isn't far away and she wants

1009
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 3: to save money just in case that's important. Also, she

1010
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 3: was more open to us about Steve as time went on,

1011
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 3: and she claims to have no love or respect for

1012
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 3: him anymore. And there are comments I personally, I have

1013
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 3: a pretty clear idea that he needs to do. But

1014
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 3: what are you thinking? I feel like she's nineteen now.

1015
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 3: I think you should tell her.

1016
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 5: She deserves to know, absolutely absolutely, Yeah, so tell her

1017
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 5: about it, like, hey, mm hmmm, I hate that this happened.

1018
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,799
Speaker 5: I don't like this guy, but somehow he found me

1019
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 5: and you have.

1020
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 3: A right to know. Yeah, this was your dad for

1021
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:23,959
Speaker 3: fifteen years of your life. Yeah.

1022
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 5: I'm not expecting you to do anything about it. We

1023
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 5: can absolutely just like look it off. Yeah, tell her

1024
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 5: anything like that, think about it yourself. It'll need some

1025
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 5: time to process, like, she'll definitely have a lot of

1026
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 5: emotions coming back up around that, because that's crazy.

1027
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think definitely let her know. I think

1028
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 3: you need to tell her at least therapy if she

1029
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 3: needs it. Yeah, telling her like, hey, I'm here for you,

1030
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 3: I am your dad, I love you. This doesn't change anything.

1031
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 3: Whatever you decide to do, it doesn't change anything. If

1032
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 3: you want to go and have a relationship with them

1033
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 3: or try, I fully sport that. Yeah, if you want

1034
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 3: to tell them to screw himself, I support it too. Exactly.

1035
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 3: There's comments, though. Comment one says Jane is an adult

1036
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 3: and deserves the respect of being told information that regards

1037
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 3: her to allow her to make her own decisions. I

1038
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,479
Speaker 3: get that you want to protect her from more pain,

1039
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 3: but a large part of the trauma she experienced was

1040
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 3: due to being powerless and having no control or choice

1041
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 3: over her own life. True, and also secrets being kept

1042
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,280
Speaker 3: from her. Yeah, that was a big thing that destroyed

1043
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 3: what her life was. Her mother started the entire mess

1044
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 3: by withholding information. Exactly, Jane needs you not to hide

1045
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,359
Speaker 3: things from her or make choices for her. She needs

1046
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 3: to know that you will always be completely honest with

1047
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 3: her and allow her to make choices for herself. Comment

1048
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 3: two says, did Jane ever get therapy for this abandonment?

1049
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 3: I can appreciate that she said ex father and all,

1050
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 3: but most children desperately want a connection with their parent.

1051
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,520
Speaker 3: They may talk a big game, but it's a protective mechanism.

1052
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 3: As an example, I went no contact with my father

1053
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 3: and my teens and didn't reconnect until I was early thirties.

1054
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time in therapy in my

1055
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 3: twenties regarding the abuse I suffered as a kid from

1056
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 3: both parents, but that didn't make me not want them.

1057
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 3: I get that my story is anecdotal, but you can

1058
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 3: head up any family therapist and they could give you

1059
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 3: a lot of similar stories. I forty five female think

1060
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 3: you should leave it up to Jane. Show her the

1061
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 3: message and tell her that you will support her in

1062
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 3: whatever she chooses, and nothing will change for you. If

1063
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 3: she wants to see where this goes. Is Steve a

1064
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 3: knucklehead who royally effed up? Yes, but he's human and

1065
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,240
Speaker 3: Hattie not effed up. You'd likely not have your daughter

1066
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 3: in your life in this capacity. If she were ten,

1067
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 3: I'd likely tell Steve, he can take it up when

1068
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 3: she's an adult. But she's nineteen and is an adult,

1069
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,279
Speaker 3: so I would not take away the opportunity for her

1070
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,280
Speaker 3: to choose for herself. If you do and she finds

1071
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 3: out later, you'll be the bad guy. I agree, and

1072
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 3: there is an update exactly. I really hope that he

1073
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 3: took that advice. I hope so. I mean he came

1074
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 3: on to Reddit to ask, so I hope. I'm hoping

1075
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 3: he took the yes advice. A lot of you told

1076
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 3: me I should come to clean to Jane, so he

1077
00:49:55,680 --> 00:50:00,280
Speaker 3: did just that. Yay, he is a helpful guy. Hey.

1078
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 3: I sat her down after the workday after I posted,

1079
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 3: and we had a long talk. When I said that

1080
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 3: Steve had messaged her, Jane got furious and demanded to

1081
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 3: see the message. She wanted to spill her guts out

1082
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 3: to him. I tried calming her down and she started crying.

1083
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 3: She said she still thought of him as a dad

1084
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 3: when the news came out, and was scared that he

1085
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 3: would get rid of her. That she began having a

1086
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,400
Speaker 3: hard time trusting people because of what happened. She hugged

1087
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 3: me and kissed me on the neck a lot, and

1088
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 3: I told her that if she wants to respond to

1089
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 3: the message, she can tell me. She said she would

1090
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:35,320
Speaker 3: think about it. Some days passed by, and Jane tells

1091
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 3: me that she has what she wanted to say on paper.

1092
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 3: I took her sheet and went to Steve's contact and

1093
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 3: typed hello, Steve, Jane has decided to write you a

1094
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 3: message herself and send it to you. I have attached

1095
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 3: it below, so keep in mind that I'm not controlling

1096
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 3: what she says, and I won't first her into anything

1097
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 3: she doesn't want to do. I then attached a picture

1098
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 3: of the letter Jane wrote. The letter was basically her

1099
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 3: explaining in detail everything she feels, and she wants nothing

1100
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 3: to do with him anymore because she isn't his daughter anymore.

1101
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 3: I closed the chat with Steve, so I don't know

1102
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 3: if you read it, but I hope he did. I

1103
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 3: think this should be the last update. I did see

1104
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 3: one rule on the subreddit that only one update is allowed.

1105
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 3: If anything else major happens, I'll post it somewhere else,

1106
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 3: but I don't think it'll go further than this. Jane,

1107
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 3: me and our family spent the night together. Some people

1108
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 3: asked me to elaborate on the specifics of how Jane

1109
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 3: got shuffled into my house in the first place, so

1110
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 3: I'll explain. I don't know the full story of Steve's divorce,

1111
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 3: but I do know that he relinquished all parental rights

1112
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 3: to Jane. But there is a little bit left to

1113
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,720
Speaker 3: this story. Do you have any final thoughts.

1114
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 5: I think it's obviously great that he told her. I

1115
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 5: think it's great. This is crazy, crazy emotions that she's

1116
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 5: gonna have to work through. But I think either way,

1117
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 5: whether she wanted to tell him to f off or

1118
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 5: not saying anything or try to rekindle, she's gonna need

1119
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 5: to deal with a lot of that on her own first.

1120
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 3: See what she feels like.

1121
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 5: So I think this is a good It's the kind

1122
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 5: of thing where it's like it has to get worse

1123
00:51:58,640 --> 00:51:59,399
Speaker 5: before it gets better.

1124
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 3: To just be aware that she might change her mind. True,

1125
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 3: this is what she's thinking right after she'd gotten this message.

1126
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 3: But you know, there might come a day where she decides, oh,

1127
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 3: you know what, I actually do want to have a

1128
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 3: relationship with this guy, and it has nothing to do

1129
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 3: with you, Like like you've provided her this really safe, encouraging,

1130
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 3: lovely you know, space and family and her desire to

1131
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 3: have or not have a relationship with her ex dad

1132
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 3: is really nothing to do with like your parent, yeah exactly,

1133
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 3: or honestly, it just is a merit, like it shows

1134
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 3: how good you are as parent too that she feels

1135
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 3: safe enough to do you know, all this. And I

1136
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 3: didn't even like his message too. It wasn't that good.

1137
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 3: It was like, oh, I realized I actually want her

1138
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 3: in my life, like.

1139
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, but like he started off with, like, yeah,

1140
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 5: I kicked her out because I couldn't bear looking at

1141
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 5: her in the face after like my wife did this

1142
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 5: to me, as if that's something that we're gonna like yeah,

1143
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 5: it's like oh kay, like yeah that's the problem, but

1144
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 5: like yeah, what do you that's.

1145
00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:01,320
Speaker 3: Not gonna that's it explained it, but we already know why.

1146
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 3: It's not gonna excusecsible. It's in excuse that behavior is

1147
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,240
Speaker 3: like again, yeah, I don't even care that his wife

1148
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 3: cheated on him. Yeah, Like it doesn't mean that you

1149
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 3: can kick out a daughter that you've raised for fifteen

1150
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 3: years exactly. Like we've read some stories where you know,

1151
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 3: dad kicks out a five year old or like a

1152
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 3: three year old or something, and or it says like, oh,

1153
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 3: I'm not their parent. And even then I'm like, A,

1154
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 3: you've parented that child for more than two years and

1155
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:35,320
Speaker 3: you're still like, that's not my kid. That's crazy to me.

1156
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 6: What I was thinking is I think he should should

1157
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 6: have apologized but also had some compensation or a gift

1158
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 6: or something.

1159
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like I'm so sorry I haven't been here. Yeah, Well,

1160
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 3: what do you make any sort of excuses at all?

1161
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 3: Do you think like like a college fund really or like, yeah, something.

1162
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 6: Like that at college fund, some savings or something to

1163
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 6: rekindle because it sounds like he just wants his possession back, yeah,

1164
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 6: rather than his daughter back.

1165
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 3: He's just like I want a child now, I'm ready

1166
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 3: to have the child. Now give it to me. Yeah.

1167
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 5: And even then, it's like it could still be seen

1168
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 5: as like him just throwing money of the situation and

1169
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 5: not actually care.

1170
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 3: Absolutely, Yeah, I think there are very little ways that

1171
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:13,760
Speaker 3: Steve could approach this that makes him look like yeah,

1172
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:15,759
Speaker 3: but there is a little bit left. The part where

1173
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 3: he said he's removing his name from the birth certificate

1174
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 3: was an obscenity he yelled during the confrontation, but it

1175
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 3: was never actually removed. When the bio mom became awful.

1176
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 3: A neighbor called the cops one night, and Jane was

1177
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 3: placed into foster care. The twenty three and meter test

1178
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 3: she took was evidence on how to find me, and

1179
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 3: Jane was actually the one who suggested finding me so

1180
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 3: she could at least know who I was and then

1181
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 3: got an amazing family. So Jane for doing that worked out.

1182
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 3: This is all information I got from the people who

1183
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 3: brought Jane here, so sorry if it appears off. I

1184
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 3: did ask some more questions about how I was found,

1185
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:51,440
Speaker 3: but they couldn't fully reveal. That's crazy. It's kind of

1186
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 3: crazy to be like, yeah, we can't tell you how

1187
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 3: we found you, but we're here and you have to

1188
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 3: take care of this story. They've got there, they've got

1189
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 3: their special copways. They can't. Is like there's a man

1190
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 3: in like the shadows outside the door, like wearing like

1191
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 3: a your you know piece, and they're like, we can't.

1192
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 3: Don't look over there, we can't tell you how we

1193
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 3: found don't don't look at how don't make eye contact

1194
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 3: with him. So that's all that happened. Thanks for everyone

1195
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 3: who gave advice and folks. That is the end of

1196
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:22,880
Speaker 3: that story. Wow. And it's the end of the episode,

1197
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,279
Speaker 3: so if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We

1198
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 3: love you and see you tomorrow.