Speaker 1: Hmmm, So welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Neila, and it's Wednesday, Happy hump Day.
Speaker 2: Not only that, you guys, it's masturbation May. And we
Speaker 2: are on a diktalks?
Speaker 3: Are we on a dick talks? Are we on addicts? Oh? Wow?
Speaker 3: Are we on a diktalk?
Speaker 1: You think you have friends and there's loyalty, but there's none. Actually,
Speaker 1: I don't think I've had sex since three days ago.
Speaker 3: So I am on tktoks. Okay, okay for those of
Speaker 3: you that don't know what we're talking about. Starting May first,
Speaker 3: I have encouraged the community to join me on abstaining
Speaker 3: from sex for the month of May, to do some
Speaker 3: inner healing, you know, just questioning whyest we're having sex
Speaker 3: with some of the people that we're having sex with,
Speaker 3: healing our vaginas, giving them a low break, doing some
Speaker 3: manifestation during this month, and coming back to self, especially
Speaker 3: because it is masturbation May. So yes, we're abstaining from sex,
Speaker 3: and yes we are masturbating. Yes, yep, but she said,
Speaker 3: and I'm really excited because we have our first meet
Speaker 3: up tomorrow with the community on Patreon. So In order
Speaker 3: to join the Dick Talks, you have to join Patreon
Speaker 3: our Pasture Bedtime Tier, and it's worth it. Our Pasture
Speaker 3: Bedtime Tier not only has the Dick Talks, but it
Speaker 3: has so much other content that we don't post on
Speaker 3: the Internet and that we don't talk about on the podcast.
Speaker 3: We have a roll up on there that we do.
Speaker 3: We roll up our favorite weed, We talk our shit.
Speaker 1: We have blog book Sex Positions one on one where
Speaker 1: Eric and I reenact our most favorite, most recent sex positions,
Speaker 1: which I have someone to show you.
Speaker 3: How you do. And Mila just posted her birth video
Speaker 3: which people have been crying about in the patreons. Have
Speaker 3: you seen it? I didn't watch the whole thing. I'm
Speaker 3: going to post mine. Mine is about six seconds long
Speaker 3: because my baby daddy was screaming like a psychopath during
Speaker 3: it and decided that he had had enough and turned
Speaker 3: the camera off. You don't need to see this, this
Speaker 3: will be it. It was a sea section, so you know,
Speaker 3: maybe not as beautiful as your vaginal birth. All births
Speaker 3: are equal, but yeah. On Thursday, we're having a zoom
Speaker 3: call to talk about the Digtalks, and we're going to
Speaker 3: do that every week. Our third week. I'm really excited
Speaker 3: because we have Somaya of Sexual Essentials, who's going to
Speaker 3: teach us all about manifestation masturbation and that I feel
Speaker 3: like she told us that class is no longer offered
Speaker 3: over there, so this will be an exclusive drop to
Speaker 3: see all the insights to how you manifest during masturation,
Speaker 3: which is my shit. Yeah, and we also have Bruna
Speaker 3: coming on too. And Bruna if you guys haven't heard
Speaker 3: us talk about Bruna, she's been part of our events,
Speaker 3: She's been a guest on our show. She actually did
Speaker 3: the episode called One Thousand Days of Celibacy because she
Speaker 3: was celibate for a thousand days, and actually she's celibate
Speaker 3: again right now and joining us on the Diktoks. So
Speaker 3: I'm really excited to talk to her and share and
Speaker 3: hear about her experience end upstaining from sex for a
Speaker 3: thousand days, which essentially is like three years. And I
Speaker 3: know some of you guys too have already have been
Speaker 3: abstaining for a while, and I want to encourage you
Speaker 3: to join too. This isn't for necessarily if you've just
Speaker 3: decided to start. This isn't necessarily for people that aren't married.
Speaker 3: Because I think that taking breaks from sex, even in
Speaker 3: your relationships is a good idea to kind of like,
Speaker 3: you know, come back to self and you know, really
Speaker 3: think about resetting. Resetting is this nigga for me? Is
Speaker 3: this bitch for me? And also just appreciating each other more,
Speaker 3: you know, in the in the upstaining and coming back
Speaker 3: to like why you guys really are together in the
Speaker 3: first place.
Speaker 1: There's so many ways to experience intimacy, you know, And
Speaker 1: I realized I like all the ways. I like sex
Speaker 1: a lot, but also I'm a cuddling ass bitch and
Speaker 1: I'm also making out ass bitch. But yeah, if you
Speaker 1: can maintain a relationship and still like each other and
Speaker 1: love each other without oral and penetrative sex or having
Speaker 1: sex because you feel obligated to, you.
Speaker 3: Know, and kind of coming back and you know, getting
Speaker 3: excited about having sex and courting and flirting, I love that.
Speaker 3: I mean, I honestly I feel more powerful than ever
Speaker 3: not having sex. I feel like I'm in control and
Speaker 3: not just of like you know, whether or not I'm
Speaker 3: having sex with men, but just I just feel more
Speaker 3: I don't know, confident overall.
Speaker 1: When I did it two years ago, was it two
Speaker 1: or two, I did feel like so much more clear,
Speaker 1: so much more confident, and like I don't need that.
Speaker 3: I'm cool. After like the first like two or three months,
Speaker 3: I got like settled in it. The first two I
Speaker 3: was acting crazy.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm definitely, Yeah, I definitely can use it.
Speaker 1: I think it's a good reminder what you want and
Speaker 1: what you need, because I.
Speaker 3: Think flour is your vision, right. I think if you stain,
Speaker 3: you'll be like, do I really like this niggad Or
Speaker 3: is the dick just good? Because a lot of times
Speaker 3: the dick is just good and then on a lot
Speaker 3: of times the dick isn't even that good. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3: It's like, God, I was digmatized for what It's just
Speaker 3: the only dick you're getting right now.
Speaker 1: And you like it combined with the fact that you
Speaker 1: kind of like that person and that person likes you,
Speaker 1: and then you get fucking confused and dazed.
Speaker 3: So anyway, if you're interested in joining the Dicktalks, the
Speaker 3: details are in the description of this episode, or you
Speaker 3: can just go to Patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's
Speaker 3: Bad Choices. Like I said, join our Pasture Bedtime tier
Speaker 3: and we'll see you on Thursday and every other week
Speaker 3: after that because we're going to have to hold each
Speaker 3: other accountable and have a support system. It is a
Speaker 3: dick Toks support group. It is. It is a support
Speaker 3: group because I have felt weak and I know that
Speaker 3: it's hard, especially when you decide to take a seat.
Speaker 3: That's when they all start crawling out of the woodworks.
Speaker 3: It's like they know they can smell it on you.
Speaker 1: They're like, you're not fucking and they're like their dick
Speaker 1: like a carriage, unting your face like you want, like
Speaker 1: hitting hitting your face?
Speaker 3: Sure, are you sure? I do? But not really anyway,
Speaker 3: should we pull some cards? Sure, we're doing it digitally today.
Speaker 3: We're also not at our other office because we're so tired. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we've we've been really fancy and shooting somewhere else, but
Speaker 3: now we're back in the og spot because it is
Speaker 3: nine o'clock at night. Our kids are still not sleep.
Speaker 1: We've ordered Thai food for the four hundred and ninety
Speaker 1: nice time in one year, and we're stressed in drinking
Speaker 1: hennessee because that's all Erica has to drink and that
Speaker 1: will do. And actually kinnesseee with lemonade is actually lashes.
Speaker 1: Today's card is the Star Spirituality, inspiration, serenity, hope, renewal.
Speaker 1: Financially speaking, if you have been having money issues, the
Speaker 1: Star tells you that there is a way to get
Speaker 1: your finances in check. Now is a good time to
Speaker 1: make investments within reason, as the Star is an upright
Speaker 1: position signifies your finances moving in a positive direction.
Speaker 3: It's nice. And speaking of that, we actually the wealth
Speaker 3: roles everything around me two day course and it was
Speaker 3: pretty amazing. There was a lot of women in there
Speaker 3: caring about their wealth and their investments. Yeah, so much information.
Speaker 3: Lous is just amazing. If you guys listen to our
Speaker 3: episode with the Wealth Witch with Loose Warrior, you know
Speaker 3: that she is a money generator and a wealth witch,
Speaker 3: and she really ties manifestation and spirituality into finances and
Speaker 3: so her wealth rules everything around me. Course was that
Speaker 3: essentially on top of just teaching everyone about the basics
Speaker 3: of the stock market, which can be really overwhelming and
Speaker 3: you think that like, you don't like you're not invited
Speaker 3: into that space because you know, traditionally or historically it's
Speaker 3: been a space for like old white men. But really,
Speaker 3: when she broke it down, it's not that difficult to understand,
Speaker 3: and it's just a really great course I recommend. I
Speaker 3: think she's having another one next month. I don't know
Speaker 3: if it's sold out because her shit be soeld out quick,
Speaker 3: but make sure you go check out Loose Warrior. In Loose,
Speaker 3: we trust, Luz In loose, we trust if you're interested
Speaker 3: in getting them finances together. We're not in money March,
Speaker 3: but baby, we're going.
Speaker 1: To keep this money following wearing money of March for
Speaker 1: the rest of our lives.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean ever since then. I'm in it like
Speaker 3: i've been. I've been investing in cryptocurrency. My crypto is
Speaker 3: up right now. I don't know if anyone is into cryptocurrency,
Speaker 3: but I invested in Ethereum. They shout out to Ashley Runway,
Speaker 3: my homegirl, Ashley. She's really got me into the crypto space.
Speaker 3: I'm still confused a bit, but I'm learning and yeah,
Speaker 3: it's been interesting. But anyway, how are you, friend, I'm
Speaker 3: motherfucking tired.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful, but I'm a little bit overwhelmed today. But good,
Speaker 1: you know, still good today. It's been a long fucking day.
Speaker 3: We have a little I literally knocked on an airco
Speaker 3: store at fucking seven seven thirty in the morning. She
Speaker 3: knocked and I was like, whoa, she's what what are
Speaker 3: you doing here this early?
Speaker 1: And it's now nine seventeen and we've literally been just packing,
Speaker 1: packaging all day, all fucking day. I love you guys.
Speaker 3: You guys bought so much of our merch. I'm so grateful.
Speaker 3: I'm so tired, though. We just sold out of our
Speaker 3: bucket hat, which is our second We've dropped twice now
Speaker 3: and it's sold out again in like a day and
Speaker 3: a half. And if you haven't checked out our merch,
Speaker 3: please do It's it's it's almost gone. We're gonna have
Speaker 3: to re up. But yeah, we need help, we need help.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: This is actually definitely every days like this. I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: this is such.
Speaker 3: An independent this is an independent business doing a lot
Speaker 3: or done all the shit over here.
Speaker 1: I am really grateful though, but you know, every day
Speaker 1: shit just you know, it's some days. Most days for us,
Speaker 1: technology works against me. I've been trying to sign up
Speaker 1: Luna for soccer for fucking three weeks. I can't log in.
Speaker 1: It's fucking with me. I'm like, it's fucking soccer, here's
Speaker 1: the money. Here's her name.
Speaker 3: Why the fuck do I have just logging to register
Speaker 3: to upload her fucking birth certificate.
Speaker 1: I'm her mother, I birthed here. She's at soccer. Just
Speaker 1: let her play. Don't make me log into shit, don't
Speaker 1: make me reset one more password. I bought her cleats, Like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck else do you want from me? If
Speaker 1: you email me one more time about this fucking logging,
Speaker 1: I'm want to freak out.
Speaker 3: It's Mother's Day this weekend. Treat mother's nice.
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, like, motherhood is the most fulfilling, grateful, amazing,
Speaker 1: fucking self sacrificing thing I've ever done. But it is
Speaker 1: so hard, Like I just constantly feel like I'm.
Speaker 3: Fucking it up. But I know I'm trying. I'm doing
Speaker 3: my best. I'm doing my best, and so are you.
Speaker 1: Where we're at feeling overwhelmed and tired and like, are
Speaker 1: you questioning yourself?
Speaker 3: You're doing a good job, you really are. You know.
Speaker 3: The other day I was on I shared something on
Speaker 3: our close friends and I got really a motion because
Speaker 3: I have been feeling like I have been very distracted
Speaker 3: from motherhood because I'm so focused on my career. I'm
Speaker 3: so focused on trying to move out of this house.
Speaker 3: I'm so focused on the multiple projects that we have
Speaker 3: going on that I have been feeling like I've not
Speaker 3: been spending enough time with my daughter. And my daughter
Speaker 3: granted is an attention houji, but even so, I know
Speaker 3: in my I've been feeling in my heart like I
Speaker 3: have not been present at all. And so we got
Speaker 3: home the other night, and uh, she was kind of quiet.
Speaker 3: I had been working all day and had not played
Speaker 3: with her all day, and like, like, had someone else
Speaker 3: take her to soft her practice, had someone else do
Speaker 3: something else for her? Like I have not been like
Speaker 3: I haven't been taking to her to any of her activities,
Speaker 3: like thank God for tribe, but also like I haven't
Speaker 3: been able, haven't.
Speaker 4: Done any of it.
Speaker 3: And so we got home and like she was sitting
Speaker 3: on the couch, which and quiet, just quiet, which never happens,
Speaker 3: and like I'm in the kitchen, I'm on the phone,
Speaker 3: distracted again, and I get off the phone and I
Speaker 3: tell her she has to take a bath, and she's
Speaker 3: like she's crying. It's like I don't want to take
Speaker 3: a bath. I don't want to take a bath. And
Speaker 3: I was like, well, if you're not going to take
Speaker 3: a bath. You need to go to bed. And she
Speaker 3: was like fine, and I was like, oh, that was
Speaker 3: way too easy, Okay. So I'm like, all right, Well,
Speaker 3: she gets she gets dressed, and she's just like crying,
Speaker 3: and then she goes in the bed and she's crying,
Speaker 3: and I'm thinking, like, she's being dramatic, but also I'm thinking, like, God,
Speaker 3: I haven't believed in the very time with her. Maybe
Speaker 3: she's noticed. No, she hasn't noticed. Maybe I'm just being
Speaker 3: hard with myself.
Speaker 5: No, whatever.
Speaker 3: So she goes, she goes, I close the door, and
Speaker 3: then I go back and check on her in like
Speaker 3: ten minutes, and she's still crying. And I'm like, why
Speaker 3: are you still crying? Like you got what you wanted,
Speaker 3: you didn't take the bath, you're in bed, it's late anyway,
Speaker 3: Like what are you crying about? And like and she
Speaker 3: just couldn't like verbalize it. She was crying so hard
Speaker 3: that like she couldn't like say why she was crying.
Speaker 3: And so I was like, all right, well, let me
Speaker 3: list some things out, like like why, like are you
Speaker 3: crying because of this? Because of this? She was like no, no, no,
Speaker 3: And I was like, are you crying? Because mommy's been
Speaker 3: really busy, and she said yes, and then she was
Speaker 3: like are I'm like, are you crying because I didn't
Speaker 3: play with you today? And then she was like you
Speaker 3: never play with me? Is like, are you upset when
Speaker 3: I'm on my phone? And she's like, you're always on
Speaker 3: your phone. I always tell you to get off your phone.
Speaker 3: You're always on your phone. And I was like, fuck
Speaker 3: when your kids came, and she was like and you
Speaker 3: could tell like those were the reasons because she was like, yeah, bitch, yeah, bitch,
Speaker 3: I know you know, And at that moment, I was like, fuck,
Speaker 3: I'm caught. Like my feelings are confirmed. Like I haven't
Speaker 3: been like sliding, like sliding past her and her not
Speaker 3: like realizing that Mommy's been trash lately. So you know,
Speaker 3: I went up in the bed and like I told
Speaker 3: her like I'm sorry and that I i'd just been
Speaker 3: like so focused on like trying to move and like
Speaker 3: my work, but like that I need to do better,
Speaker 3: and like I just started I didn't want to cry,
Speaker 3: but then I just started crying, and then we were
Speaker 3: both crying, and then like she like reached her little
Speaker 3: arms out and like held me on her chest like
Speaker 3: my fucking mom, like like was like petting me, and
Speaker 3: I was like bawling, and then I was just like
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do better. I'm so sorry, Like you're right,
Speaker 3: like I'm on my phone too much and I want
Speaker 3: to be here for you. I love you. You're almost
Speaker 3: like I can't believe you're a Well that's when that's
Speaker 3: why I started crying. I was like, you believe you're
Speaker 3: almost six? Yeah, this is like two days before her
Speaker 3: birthday and cry thinking about it, and I just felt
Speaker 3: like I feel like shit. I felt like shit. I
Speaker 3: mean I felt like, wow, this is afterwards, I was
Speaker 3: like that was such a beautiful moment that I could
Speaker 3: share with my daughter. But I also felt like shit
Speaker 3: because I was like, I don't know how I'm going
Speaker 3: to change anything right now because I do have so
Speaker 3: much going on and I have to keep it moving,
Speaker 3: and like I know that there's ways that maybe I
Speaker 3: can incorporate her more, like her, you know, being a
Speaker 3: part of my work even if it's like not really
Speaker 3: part of my work or like made her feel involved
Speaker 3: and stuff, right, but I just was I got more
Speaker 3: upset after I left her because I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't know how I'm supposed to like shift this, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I just got like I was like I
Speaker 3: envy married people in that moment because I was like,
Speaker 3: if you're married me and to me, I always talk
Speaker 3: about like we're so glad we're not married because I've
Speaker 3: get to drive the kids off and have her own
Speaker 3: time and we get we get our space, you know,
Speaker 3: we get space. But in that moment, I was like,
Speaker 3: if I was married, I wouldn't. I don't feel like
Speaker 3: i'd feel as a guilt, Like I'd be able to
Speaker 3: like pass her on to someone in my home and
Speaker 3: like he could take on some of this guilt or something,
Speaker 3: but at least take on some of the responsibility. And
Speaker 3: like her dad has just gone and just just making
Speaker 3: her all his own schedule and telling me his schedule
Speaker 3: and not asking me my schedule, and it's just yeah, anyway,
Speaker 3: I just felt just reflecting on like single motherhood. Like
Speaker 3: when we started this podcast, you know, our daughters were
Speaker 3: three years old. Now they're six years old, which is crazy,
Speaker 3: and there's so much more aware, there's so much more
Speaker 3: vocal about their needs and wants, and we've grown closer
Speaker 3: to them obviously in that time, and so I feel
Speaker 3: her when things when like when things aren't going the
Speaker 3: way they should, and to be honest, they're not really
Speaker 3: They're like and I don't I'm trying to find balance,
Speaker 3: but I don't think there's ever a perfect balance, Like
Speaker 3: there's just imbalance. Often there's balance sometimes for sure, but
Speaker 3: then there's just imbalance. And I don't know, like Pete
Speaker 3: when I when I posted on close friends, like a
Speaker 3: lot of moms like you know, gave me advice, and
Speaker 3: I appreciate that because me and Amila we're new moms essentially,
Speaker 3: like we've been doing it for six years. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: so like hearing from other moms that have a ten
Speaker 3: year old or fifteen year olds and are like in school,
Speaker 3: have a job, parent like the same shit, you know,
Speaker 3: it was nice. I'm just so grateful for like our tribe,
Speaker 3: especially like our secret tribe at Patreon, because I don't,
Speaker 3: you know, a scorpia. I don't feel like I don't
Speaker 3: like want to share aggraazing, even though I'm sharing the
Speaker 3: three now, but like those are really super emotional in
Speaker 3: the moment moments like when I can reach out to
Speaker 3: my people and you guys come for me. I'm so
Speaker 3: grateful and that's really I was thinking about, like not
Speaker 3: feeling like I had community or not feeling like I
Speaker 3: had any mom friends when I start, when we started
Speaker 3: this podcast, and like the fact that I have so
Speaker 3: many people now and I don't know all of you guys,
Speaker 3: but like I feel like I know all of you guys.
Speaker 1: You feel the support, you feel the energy, and you
Speaker 1: feel like you know, you feel that other people have
Speaker 1: been there. I genuinely feel the love all the time,
Speaker 1: you know, even if it's just like a couple of
Speaker 1: comments or a couple a line or two here, roll
Speaker 1: up in the DM there, I do feel surrounded by
Speaker 1: like powerful women that are going through similar experiences. So
Speaker 1: that's that's amazing, Yeah, because we did feel very alone
Speaker 1: in the beginning, and we desperately needed each other and
Speaker 1: everyone else.
Speaker 3: It's crazy because.
Speaker 1: Like, well obviously we're together all the time, so we
Speaker 1: are a reflection of one another, and we're a reflection
Speaker 1: of like a lot of times inevitably we are each
Speaker 1: other's business partner. And whatever you're experiencing, I'm often experiencing
Speaker 1: it too, and like whether or not I want to
Speaker 1: acknowledge it or stay vocally, like if your kids feeling neglected.
Speaker 3: Probably chances our minds.
Speaker 1: Too, because we're living a lot of like a very
Speaker 1: parallel life and trying to just balance a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff and you know, be successful and be rich and
Speaker 1: then like get to this space where we're not like
Speaker 1: hustling and bustling and moving all day. And but I've
Speaker 1: said this before, like there's this other fear like time
Speaker 1: is going by so quickly. Like they were three when
Speaker 1: they started. We were literally screaming in the other rooms.
Speaker 1: It's constantly for them, they'll be quiet, and then like
Speaker 1: just three years later, they're vastly different. They can communicate
Speaker 1: so much better that you know, they're more in tune
Speaker 1: with their feelings. They're more aware and just trying to
Speaker 1: balance work and you know, justify getting rich so that
Speaker 1: they could live better lives. We can live better lives,
Speaker 1: work less, but then also trying to manage like personal
Speaker 1: lives and like niggas and like this shit that really
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, but like we still make time for it
Speaker 1: because well we're human.
Speaker 3: It feels good, and it feels good and it's a
Speaker 3: distraction from reponsibility. So yeah, and you know what I've
Speaker 3: been like really exploring is that.
Speaker 1: The same, the same trauma, The same childhood trauma that
Speaker 1: I'm healing from or attempting to healing from, or rather
Speaker 1: avoiding healing from, is meeting and wanting attention from my parents.
Speaker 1: That same trauma, wanting attention, wanting love, and wanting to
Speaker 1: feel validated is like literally the exact same trauma that
Speaker 1: allows me to distract myself with like relationships or you know,
Speaker 1: guys or whatever the fuck it is, and like this
Speaker 1: crazy men, Like when I step back and even see you,
Speaker 1: just you know, be vulnerable and discuss that because obviously
Speaker 1: I have very similar feelings and I have like panic
Speaker 1: attacks and side like, fuck, she's gonna grow up and
Speaker 1: like remember that I've just been on my phone or
Speaker 1: been working, and then by that time she won't give
Speaker 1: a fuck to hang out with me.
Speaker 3: But it's just like, if.
Speaker 1: I don't address that childhood trauma in myself right now,
Speaker 1: the need to feel attention, to feel like romantic love
Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck it is, I will inevitably pass
Speaker 1: that on to my daughter and maybe make her feel
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck I was feeling at my agent was
Speaker 1: like granted my my my parents were married and lived
Speaker 1: in the same household, but.
Speaker 3: It was deeply.
Speaker 1: Fucked up and they weren't healed, and like there was
Speaker 1: a lot of them going back and forth and chasing
Speaker 1: each other, you know. I'm like, really they had a
Speaker 1: very co dependent relationship, and there were so many times
Speaker 1: I remember being like, these niggas are so worried about
Speaker 1: each other, they're ignoring everything else. Like I remember vividly
Speaker 1: thinking that, and so I recognized so much how a
Speaker 1: part of me, a part of my distraction and wanting
Speaker 1: to seek love and attention really stems from that. And obviously,
Speaker 1: like I I'd like to say that, I'm I try
Speaker 1: to do better than my parents and be more tentive,
Speaker 1: be more chill, be all these things that maybe they weren't.
Speaker 1: But at the very root of that need for attention,
Speaker 1: it's still me, this child, you know, And like I,
Speaker 1: if I don't do the steps, which is an everyday
Speaker 1: work to try and correct those things and heal myself,
Speaker 1: that I like, I'm going to pass that trauma on.
Speaker 1: I was telling Erica today my statement, not my quote,
Speaker 1: that you know, dysfunction is like mold. If you don't
Speaker 1: attend to it, it will inevitably like spread into every
Speaker 1: other part every other existence, your family, your relationship, your
Speaker 1: relationship with your kids, and like that dysfunction is like
Speaker 1: trauma that's unhealed.
Speaker 3: And sometimes it's hard to admit when you fuck up
Speaker 3: and when you're wrong and when you're not doing a
Speaker 3: good job balancing.
Speaker 1: But that's a part of it, that's a part of
Speaker 1: getting back on it. But like that has been heavy
Speaker 1: on my heart because I'm an avoidant attachment. I have
Speaker 1: avoidant attachment. I have an avoidant attachment avoided, I have
Speaker 1: a confused attachment. So I will try to attach myself
Speaker 1: to someone and then attach myself into their life love me,
Speaker 1: and then be like oh no, no, no, no, no, never mind,
Speaker 1: just kidding and try and detach because I'm now I'm
Speaker 1: scared of it. But it's just this vicious cycle of
Speaker 1: just like running, you know, running for myself, running from
Speaker 1: and just seeking validation and love and like admiration from
Speaker 1: outside places and you can't. You I'll be fucking searching
Speaker 1: for that forever because no one's ever going to love
Speaker 1: you better than you love yourself, It's true. And if
Speaker 1: you can't like fully give that to yourself, and how
Speaker 1: can you give that to your kids or to anybody else.
Speaker 1: So yeah, there's just you're I mean, you're like our
Speaker 1: kids are mirrors.
Speaker 3: They really like force us to stare deep in our
Speaker 3: eyeballs and like fucking be like you have You're still
Speaker 3: not doing the work, bitch. Guess what I'm getting older?
Speaker 3: Oh you see that thing I did I do that
Speaker 3: you don't like? That's you, bitch, Like that's me being
Speaker 3: you because I'm watching you do that dumb shit And
Speaker 3: now I won't unlearn it because I've been watching it
Speaker 3: for too long. I don't want to say long learn it,
Speaker 3: but I don't know. It's I think about like because
Speaker 3: we took these attachment tests, right, and last week we
Speaker 3: had Felicia latouron and she was talking about our attachment styles.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you guys have ever heard about this,
Speaker 3: but it's just basically based in childhood and like how
Speaker 3: we are as adults as in relationships essentially, and mine
Speaker 3: was when I took the test, I was just secure attachment.
Speaker 3: And people are really proud of being like the secure
Speaker 3: like having secure attachment tendencies and stuff. But I don't
Speaker 3: know if it's all that great either, because there's a
Speaker 3: sense of like I don't need anybody, I think for me,
Speaker 3: but I do need people, but like no one's ever
Speaker 3: good enough, you know, And like that's what I've realized too,
Speaker 3: and I know that men have told me that too.
Speaker 3: Like men I've always said, like make me feel like
Speaker 3: I'm not good enough, and I'm like good you're not,
Speaker 3: but also like I'm not perfect either. Fuck like even
Speaker 3: like recently I went on this secret trip and that
Speaker 3: only like only close friends got to see. And uh,
Speaker 3: just like expecting men to be more than where I'm at,
Speaker 3: you know, like wanting men to give me shit that necessarily,
Speaker 3: yeah I can, I can give myself, and like this
Speaker 3: situation is a little different, but I was thinking about
Speaker 3: that a lot too, like my desire for like a
Speaker 3: man to have this and this and that and that,
Speaker 3: and it's like, bitch, you don't have all of those things,
Speaker 3: So how are you going to sit here and demand
Speaker 3: that he does? And I'm like, well, because I want
Speaker 3: him to elevate me. I want him to motivate me.
Speaker 3: I'm already motivated. I'm on my way there, so you
Speaker 3: need to be there already. One of us needs to
Speaker 3: be there. Make the shit easier, teach me something, make
Speaker 3: it easier. But then I was like, well to say that,
Speaker 3: you know, I don't know. I've been like battling these
Speaker 3: these rules I've made for myself when it comes to
Speaker 3: like the men I want, And I think that some
Speaker 3: of them are about valid for sure, But then some
Speaker 3: of them, I'm like, are these tactics to never set
Speaker 3: to never find that person? Are these like ways for
Speaker 3: me to be like mm almost but not really? She said,
Speaker 3: But she's a track stuff. And it's so weird because
Speaker 3: I wasn't always. I've always been like a very much
Speaker 3: a relationship person, and now I find myself like making
Speaker 3: I don't know, like oh, like if I got like
Speaker 3: what if a guy I'm seeing and tell is like
Speaker 3: talk like test mentions another girl, I'm like encouraging them
Speaker 3: to like go with be with them.
Speaker 1: Is it because you're testing it and you want to
Speaker 1: like test your like your own I sometimes test it.
Speaker 3: It's just so I could be like, yeah, this is
Speaker 3: not really for me anyway, go like yeah.
Speaker 1: I like I would like someone, and then I'll find
Speaker 1: reasons not to like them, and you know, because I'll
Speaker 1: tell about it, getting to school on time and fucking
Speaker 1: logging into that COVID thing just for them to get in.
Speaker 1: It's just so much fucking work, writing absent notes, making lunch.
Speaker 1: I can't every day I buy lunch for a little
Speaker 1: I like sop it subway on the way to school,
Speaker 1: like every day because I'm irresponsible and she's bougie. She
Speaker 1: wants like sushi for lunch and tune its sandwich is
Speaker 1: specifically only from subway because she doesn't like my tune us.
Speaker 3: It's crazy. I'm just like.
Speaker 1: I do get envious too of married couples. That woman
Speaker 1: over there has her husband to pick up where she's
Speaker 1: left off, or when she wants to go cry in
Speaker 1: the bathroom. You know, Peter can fucking make dinner, but
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't cry in the bathroom and make dinner.
Speaker 1: The other it's one of the other and stuff we
Speaker 1: gotta eat. Usually the crying, I'll do it later.
Speaker 3: And then you don't even do it, and it just
Speaker 3: builds up inside you until you fucking explode and curse
Speaker 3: your kid out by accident.
Speaker 1: Speaking of that, the other day, my it was my
Speaker 1: mom's birthday and they made a really late reservation and
Speaker 1: I should have just been an adult mom and said
Speaker 1: we're not going to go, but she wanted to go,
Speaker 1: and I was like, we're gonna go and celebrate.
Speaker 3: It was fucking late. She was acting.
Speaker 1: She was like screaming, like like I was like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck is going on?
Speaker 3: I'm like, we're not going.
Speaker 1: No, She's like, man, she would break out into tears
Speaker 1: about not going. I'm like, what the fuck am I
Speaker 1: supposed to do with this? I'm like seeing the peak
Speaker 1: of like that early teenage like rebellious, and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: not prepared. I think, is there a class? Does anyone know,
Speaker 1: like the prepare moms for the stage class?
Speaker 3: Because I need to take it. What is the stage
Speaker 3: like eight through seven through nine?
Speaker 1: I don't know, tween age or whatever what they call it, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, like attitude I don't fucking know.
Speaker 3: Do we need to develop the class when we get
Speaker 3: the answers?
Speaker 1: Whenever that is, there has to be a meditation specifically
Speaker 1: dedicated to moms for their kids when they get attitude age?
Speaker 3: How how do you manage? Somebody give me the answers. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're doing a good job. You're doing a great job.
Speaker 3: You're a great mom. Thank you, you're a great mom.
Speaker 3: Thanks so that you're doing a great job too. Thank you,
Speaker 3: you really are. You're very patient. I love you. He
Speaker 3: teach me patience. We're doing the best we can what
Speaker 3: we got. Yeah, Okay, And inevitably our kids are gonna
Speaker 3: blame us for some shit. It's just inevitable. It might
Speaker 3: not even it's gonna be the most unexpected shit too.
Speaker 3: It's like, that's what you fucking think I fucked up on.
Speaker 3: Not the forty times I let you go to bed
Speaker 3: at one am, but I was recording my podcast right
Speaker 3: at school. Not the times where like I didn't like
Speaker 3: talk to you for like twelve seventy two hours straight
Speaker 3: because I was packaging packages, Like you didn't get to
Speaker 3: my soccer game. It's gonna be like that one time
Speaker 3: that you made me not tug my shirt and you
Speaker 3: didn't let me be the fashionista I was meant to
Speaker 3: be right, Like what the fuck? I'm gonna laugh and
Speaker 3: then I'm gonna cry again in her arms while she
Speaker 3: holds me.
Speaker 1: Want to be holding me too, be like damn, this
Speaker 1: is is this my mom? Like there is some healing,
Speaker 1: some interro like some like exchange healing that happens, and.
Speaker 3: I'm always proud and happy. Is some when she sees
Speaker 3: me not be weak, but like be less, be human
Speaker 3: right in like a lot of ways, I am grateful
Speaker 3: to let Lena see me be human because it lets
Speaker 3: her know that I'm not perfect, you know.
Speaker 1: And like.
Speaker 3: At the end of the day when she gets older
Speaker 3: and tries to blame me for her trauma, like I
Speaker 3: told you I was fucking up.
Speaker 1: What do you want for me? I told you when
Speaker 1: you were six, I told you when you were eight.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you now, Like it's not as great. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: At least I did like our parents, like I did
Speaker 1: everything perfectly right. And I don't know what the fuck
Speaker 1: you're talking about.
Speaker 3: I never said that. I never said that. I never
Speaker 3: said that. I don't know why you're so emotional. I like,
Speaker 3: look at my journal in nineteen ninety nine. It says
Speaker 3: my mom said. My mom literally always says you're so emotional.
Speaker 3: You're so emotional, Like, so, when what are you going
Speaker 3: to just accept the emotional and stop using it against me?
Speaker 3: You would raise an emotional fucking scorpio child. Do you
Speaker 3: think that's why you're like not? You try not to
Speaker 3: be emotional. I try not to be. I'm so emotional,
Speaker 3: and I try so hard to be hard poor. It's
Speaker 3: I think I'm pretty emotional. It just comes out in
Speaker 3: different ways. It's like it doesn't necessarily come out in tears.
Speaker 3: It comes out like with like where people will like
Speaker 3: get like overwhelmed by my presence because I'm in a mood.
Speaker 3: Or it comes out with like my tongue when I
Speaker 3: like just say shit and I know it's mean, and
Speaker 3: then I have to apologize later like I do with
Speaker 3: you all the time, and then or just like sometimes
Speaker 3: crying or sometimes just lashing out. Like it's just emotional
Speaker 3: in different ways. I think people typically think emotional means
Speaker 3: like crying whatever. No, yeah, it's not true. But I
Speaker 3: am emotional. I'm a motherfucking double scorpio. I'm emotional as fuck.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't know, I just I don't
Speaker 3: know I have I guess I haven't always felt space
Speaker 3: to be emotional with my mom, and so when she
Speaker 3: says that, it really irritates the fuck out of me.
Speaker 3: And and so that's why I try to give Iri
Speaker 3: the space to be emotional. But then sometimes i'm my girl,
Speaker 3: you're driven. It's like you are really really She's.
Speaker 1: There's some drama, but she's emotional too, but it's so
Speaker 1: it's so crazy to be a mom and like I
Speaker 1: don't I am very emotional, and I wasn't given a
Speaker 1: lot of space to be emotional in my household either.
Speaker 1: It was kind of like yeah, like shuts, like shut up, stop,
Speaker 1: Like are you stop crying?
Speaker 3: My dad was like laugh at me. My dad's like
Speaker 3: a jokester. Oh you're said, like ship like that. So
Speaker 3: I think that that does spill over. And then in
Speaker 3: my regular life when I am feeling emotional, I'm not
Speaker 3: acknowledging it and I'm not saying that I'm not I'm good.
Speaker 3: I'm good. Actually just get the fuck away from me,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And I'm like, I'm not good,
Speaker 3: I'm sad.
Speaker 1: And I go through I go through periods where I
Speaker 1: allow myself to like be more emotional than others. Like
Speaker 1: the last year eighteen months, I cried a lot, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I've kind of come from that, but
Speaker 1: now I'm like, damn, bitch, do you.
Speaker 3: Need to cry a little bit and just check it's you.
Speaker 1: If podcasting has taught me any fucking thing in the
Speaker 1: world is like you're gonna constantly have to check in
Speaker 1: and have to scale and have to refigure like where
Speaker 1: you're at, you know, and if you're fucking up and
Speaker 1: and how you could be better. It's not Healing is
Speaker 1: not linear. It's a daily, minute to minute practice. Every minute,
Speaker 1: every fucking minute. You have to like pull yourself out
Speaker 1: of anxiety, pull yourself out of depression, pull yourself out
Speaker 1: of sadness, and just remind yourself like everything's okay.
Speaker 3: And this type of this world that we live in
Speaker 3: with fucking social media and time time time, do we
Speaker 3: have enough time? Have you called that person? Have you
Speaker 3: done this? Like there's just not enough time.
Speaker 1: I sat on the phone on hold like three times
Speaker 1: this weekend for over an hour and then got disconnected.
Speaker 3: Do you know how fucking irritating that is? But you
Speaker 3: still got a call back and do the thing. I
Speaker 3: haven't filed my taxes, but whenever I feel like when
Speaker 3: was the time? When did I have the time to
Speaker 3: do it? When do I have time? Like it's either
Speaker 3: filed my taxes or like have take a day or
Speaker 3: two for self care for myself because I've worked myself
Speaker 3: to the ground that past like ten days straight. It's
Speaker 3: like taxes can wait, and.
Speaker 1: Then it's like, if I wait, if I don't tend
Speaker 1: to this right now, what's the worst that's gonna happen.
Speaker 3: Government's gonna fucking come after me because I haven't filed
Speaker 3: for last year either. You have four hundred millions. Just
Speaker 3: I don't even know a really good tax person DM me.
Speaker 3: Who's gonna get me the most money back? The Hennessy
Speaker 3: eliminated both.
Speaker 1: Sure anyway, this episode brought to you by Hennessy.
Speaker 3: It is Mother's Day. I swear to God, we do
Speaker 3: love being moms. No, I do love being There are
Speaker 3: so many like beautiful experiences that I've shared with Iri
Speaker 3: over the last six years. Her birthday just happened, which
Speaker 3: was amazing, and she had a great time, and I'm
Speaker 3: watching her grow up is like one of the most
Speaker 3: It is the most amazing experience I will ever have
Speaker 3: in my life. You know, I guess I just worry
Speaker 3: that I'm fucking it up, But you know, she seems
Speaker 3: she seems like she's done right.
Speaker 1: That's so every time I think I'm fucking it real bad,
Speaker 1: I see Little I think you missed me. She's like, yeah, okay, fun, Like.
Speaker 3: Are you sure you were? Said? I was like just
Speaker 3: talking She's like, what, Ellen.
Speaker 5: Never mind.
Speaker 3: Anyway, let's shift gears. Okay, don't we have an advice questions?
Speaker 5: We do.
Speaker 3: It's a big one too. Today's advice question is a
Speaker 3: freaky one. Freaky, it's a little freaky. You love freaky everything.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I have a little confession. So you know,
Speaker 3: it's masturbation may and I'm not really having sex. So
Speaker 3: I'm not really I'm not having sex at all. But
Speaker 3: I've been using this app called dipsy. You know, you
Speaker 3: heard me talk about it, and it is the most
Speaker 3: amazing app. It has hundreds of erotic tales that tantalize
Speaker 3: my senses. When I tell you, this app turns me on,
Speaker 3: like I'm wet listening to this ship.
Speaker 4: Matter of fact, let me just play you.
Speaker 3: A little clip, because let me see what putting on
Speaker 3: over there. Okay, and this is our homeboy sharonas Jackson
Speaker 3: parted with dipsy and did a little episode and god damn,
Speaker 3: here we go.
Speaker 6: First, and I guess her smooth scan who's trying to
Speaker 6: take and every feeling, not the movement entice hercles on
Speaker 6: her clip.
Speaker 3: That's all you get.
Speaker 5: That's all you get.
Speaker 7: I never even thought about Sharona's like that except for
Speaker 7: a couple episodes in Secure, But suddenly I might have
Speaker 7: to go download Dipsy.
Speaker 3: Girl, I'm telling you, And not only that if you
Speaker 3: need to wind down, Dipsy also has wellness sessions, sensual
Speaker 3: bedtime stories, and soundscapes. They have stories for every gender,
Speaker 3: every kink, anything that you're into they have stories for.
Speaker 3: And even if you're with a partner, you can listen
Speaker 3: to Dipsy and get turned on with your partner if
Speaker 3: you're in the car, like a form of four play.
Speaker 3: It's totally a form of foreplay. And I'm so excited
Speaker 3: because for our listeners of the show, Dipsy is offering
Speaker 3: an extended thirty day free trial when you go to
Speaker 3: dipsystories dot com slash good Moms.
Speaker 4: That's d I p s e.
Speaker 3: A Stories dot com slash good Moms. Trust me, you
Speaker 3: guys are going to be wet, hot, and bothered listening
Speaker 3: to these stories. You guys, thirty day free trial, You're welcome.
Speaker 3: If you have any advice questions, don't forget to hit
Speaker 3: us up in our email and put subject line and hey,
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if y'all actually read your DMS. We do,
Speaker 3: but I need help.
Speaker 1: I started dating this guy and he's so amazing, has
Speaker 1: his master's degree, super kind, handsome, good dick, and super
Speaker 1: well off. But he's into cuck holding. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm even comfortable with that. Does this mean he's bisexual.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be bothered by his sexuality if you were,
Speaker 1: but I'm super confused as to what he likes in
Speaker 1: bed and what I should do since I have no
Speaker 1: experience with the situation like this. Do y'all know anything
Speaker 1: about this and what problems would arise or how I
Speaker 1: should talk to him about it. For those of you
Speaker 1: who don't know what cuck holding is, it's a man
Speaker 1: who willingly encourages his wife or girlfriend to sleep with
Speaker 1: other people because it brings him pleasure.
Speaker 3: Pass him over. That's what I told her. I said, girl,
Speaker 3: sounds like you came up. Sounds like a come up.
Speaker 3: Sounds like a motherfucking come up.
Speaker 1: I continued the conversation with her, because you know, my
Speaker 1: freaking ass was right to the rescue you. She said
Speaker 1: that he's even down to have a male male female threesome,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I think you need to figure
Speaker 1: I think you need to try it out.
Speaker 3: I don't think that.
Speaker 1: First of all, do you know, I'm I don't think
Speaker 1: that being a cut caled makes you bisexual.
Speaker 3: Biting means well, doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to
Speaker 3: interact with the man. It means that he just wants
Speaker 3: to see his woman be pleased, be penetrated, or like yeah,
Speaker 3: be pleased by someone else and be a spectator to that,
Speaker 3: either because he's you know, voyeuristic, or because watching the
Speaker 3: person he loves or cares about experiencing pleasure outside of
Speaker 3: himself turns me on. I kind of what's what? I'm
Speaker 3: a cut queen. I think I'm a cut queen? What what?
Speaker 3: You just make that up? No? I think that actually
Speaker 3: is what you want to do. You want your boy
Speaker 3: for your husband to watch you. But see, like wife,
Speaker 3: the wife of an adultero's husband is a cut queen.
Speaker 3: Or maybe I'm a cut queen. I don't know whatever,
Speaker 3: this is the wrong definition. I want. I want to
Speaker 3: watch the person that I care about experience pleasure from
Speaker 3: another woman like I haven't. I haven't I have yet
Speaker 3: to experience it, but like I've encouraged it multiple times,
Speaker 3: even on this little secret trip. I went on, I try,
Speaker 3: I wanted that to happen. I told him that I
Speaker 3: wanted to happen. Believe I think he believed me, but
Speaker 3: I think I don't know. Then then I think, like
Speaker 3: I scare man when I say that type of ship
Speaker 3: because and then I'm like, that's what I was saying too,
Speaker 3: like I pushed people, not like pushing people away, Like
Speaker 3: but I know for sure, and I do want to
Speaker 3: experience that. I might not like it when it actually happens.
Speaker 3: That's why I want to know. I actually like this
Speaker 3: because when I master me, I often think about my
Speaker 3: lovers with other people and me watching them and me
Speaker 3: not like being involved. No, that's interesting. Actually when I
Speaker 3: got that question, I was with this guy that I'm
Speaker 3: saying and I explained it to him and he's like,
Speaker 3: what the fuck the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Fuck?
Speaker 3: No, I was like, oh no, when I was when
Speaker 3: Samaya was here Sexual Essentials Sexual Essentials, she were sitting
Speaker 3: on the couch and she was explaining, like her her
Speaker 3: desire to experience male male female and like the way
Speaker 3: she explained it made it so appealing to me, and
Speaker 3: I'd never really like heard it explained in such beautiful detail,
Speaker 3: and she was just saying like she's like I'd be willing.
Speaker 3: She was like, I'd be willing to pay for this experience.
Speaker 3: Like I want two men that are like fuck with
Speaker 3: each other, not fuck with each other sexually, but like
Speaker 3: are cool like respect, like respect each other, have a
Speaker 3: good rapport, who adore me and who want to like
Speaker 3: shower me with affection and love, like sit there, cook
Speaker 3: dinner for me, like like whisper to each other about
Speaker 3: how they're going to like please me, and like you know,
Speaker 3: I'll handle the salad, you get the pasta, whatever me.
Speaker 3: Come in, like massage me my pussy, pour my glass
Speaker 3: of wine, like really like wine, and dine me. And
Speaker 3: it doesn't have to be this nasty experience that porn,
Speaker 3: you know, presents this experience to be. It's actually like
Speaker 3: a beautiful experience. Often what we see in porn when
Speaker 3: a man is experience as two women, when it's like
Speaker 3: a romance scene, rarely do you see you know, vice.
Speaker 3: And so when she explained it that way, I was
Speaker 3: like that sounds fucking amazing, Like what, yeah, I want
Speaker 3: to experience that, duh. But also there's so much shame
Speaker 3: about Like there's so much shame in even saying that
Speaker 3: there's so much shame and even being like, yeah, I
Speaker 3: would be open to having like two men cater to
Speaker 3: me at the same time in the same session. Like
Speaker 3: I remember I had an X and he was like
Speaker 3: he said that he had an ex expressed that to
Speaker 3: him and he was like, I would never marry her.
Speaker 3: I'm like, why, because then you don't like that one
Speaker 3: thing can make you not love someone. I'm like, so
Speaker 3: you never love that person to begin with, right, And
Speaker 3: that's the thing with men.
Speaker 1: They have these fucking rules because that's how society has
Speaker 1: made it, and then they.
Speaker 3: Can just drop you that quickly. I think that's why
Speaker 3: I don't trust men.
Speaker 1: I don't trust men to say or to keep me
Speaker 1: because I believe that there's so many things that are
Speaker 1: it's just it's so conditional. Ego makes love so like
Speaker 1: a male ego makes their love for women so conditional
Speaker 1: based on these standards that they.
Speaker 3: Don't live by at all. Like we're different, Like we're different.
Speaker 1: I had a conversation with this guy and he was like, well,
Speaker 1: women can get pregnant, so it's different. You know, I
Speaker 1: can experience different women, but I can only get pregnant
Speaker 1: once a year. I was like, but you can spread
Speaker 1: your seat, so I say, God intended for you years ago,
Speaker 1: nutt and bitches, and we just sit.
Speaker 3: So because women can only get pregnant once a year,
Speaker 3: we're supposed to not have multiple sexual.
Speaker 1: Partners, basically scientifically, like he's trying to make it like
Speaker 1: some scientific some male scientists came up with this, some
Speaker 1: scientific religious like. I was just like, and also also
Speaker 1: that there's more there's more women that there are men.
Speaker 1: So women are supposed to have one man, and men
Speaker 1: are supposed to.
Speaker 3: Have multiple women. Why are there more men? Because God
Speaker 3: intended for who made them? Right? Fuck you right, honestly
Speaker 3: you would even be here without us or shut the
Speaker 3: fuck up.
Speaker 1: It's just yeah, I do want I would want to
Speaker 1: experience that.
Speaker 3: It's just so rare that you find two men that
Speaker 3: would be willing to do it in a cordial especially
Speaker 3: black man. Yeah, that's very rare, especially in the black
Speaker 3: black man's space. Damn, I want you know what, some
Speaker 3: of my I would be willing to pay for that
Speaker 3: shit too. When she said she paid for it, I
Speaker 3: was like, you know what, at least if you know
Speaker 3: you pay, you know you're getting what you want. And
Speaker 3: that's basically what she said too. She's like, I want
Speaker 3: to get the experience that I want and that's why
Speaker 3: I will pay for it. And I was like, you
Speaker 3: know what, You're fucking genius. I'm getting on just for
Speaker 3: this purchase. Where are who connect us to the only
Speaker 3: fans of the men? Wait?
Speaker 1: When I follow all those sites like black Polynation poly Couples,
Speaker 1: like they're always like, we're looking for our queen, I'm
Speaker 1: looking for my kings hiam miila, and I'm seeing it.
Speaker 1: I'm looking for my kings even right now, and we're
Speaker 1: looking for kings.
Speaker 3: Wasn't that Daddy's aka Kings. The crazy part about this
Speaker 3: is like a little bit of part of me has anxiety.
Speaker 1: About even saying this, even though I'm gonna fuck, but
Speaker 1: like I do, like, what if one of my niggas
Speaker 1: is gonna come and judge me and.
Speaker 8: Drop me over this conversation? If you drop me over
Speaker 8: my secret fan, my public fantas, my secret public man,
Speaker 8: my secret public fantasies, did you ever really love me
Speaker 8: at all? Because you know that's another thing. Oh, back
Speaker 8: to our advice question.
Speaker 1: We put our own fucking our own fantasies when it
Speaker 1: comes to sex. There's really no judgment in kink unless
Speaker 1: as long as you're not hurting anyone, and it's all
Speaker 1: adults and humans. I don't really think there's any weird
Speaker 1: thing with kinks. There's no fantasy that's too weird. People
Speaker 1: fantasies to come up in all different places, in all
Speaker 1: different ways, Like you can't really judge a fantasy, and
Speaker 1: like there's really no spectrum of sexuality, Like I'm gay,
Speaker 1: I'm straight, I'm in the between, I'm fifty to fifty.
Speaker 3: Like there's just it's just not that clear and cut.
Speaker 1: You know what you do like and don't like, and
Speaker 1: like that's the part about having a partner.
Speaker 3: And it changes you evolve. You're allowed to change your
Speaker 3: mind every day. Every day, Like I'm allowed to say,
Speaker 3: you know what, I don't want to do that, and
Speaker 3: then next week be like, you know what, maybe I've
Speaker 3: changed my mind. Like we get so married to these
Speaker 3: rules about what our sexuality looks like, what what what
Speaker 3: sex looks like for us? And I don't know, Like
Speaker 3: I just I want to encourage all of us to
Speaker 3: kind of rethink the rules that we've made and not
Speaker 3: judge yourself and the rules believe and if like you
Speaker 3: or you're listening listening, and if you're listening to us
Speaker 3: talk about male male female and it sounds appealing to you,
Speaker 3: and suddenly you're like, huh, never looked at it that way?
Speaker 3: That might sound appeal Like, don't judge yourself for that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like don't like I'm a slat? Oh my god, Like
Speaker 3: why does that sound good? Because it fucking does sound good.
Speaker 3: That's all about you, you like maya set. Yeah, we
Speaker 3: give so much. It's time for us to get some
Speaker 3: shit back.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, if I can't imagine if for Mother's
Speaker 1: Day we could buy that for ourselves, I mean, minus
Speaker 1: the dicktks. But I'm just saying, what if you could
Speaker 1: just if you moms everywhere, If this is your fantasy
Speaker 1: and you participate in this for Mother's Day, can you
Speaker 1: tell us about it more importantly than encouraging, I mean,
Speaker 1: I also want to encourage. If you have that fantasy
Speaker 1: and you're a woman, don't judge yourself. But even more
Speaker 1: past that, if you're a man and you have these
Speaker 1: deep toxic beliefs that you are a man, and so
Speaker 1: only you can have certain fantasies and only you can
Speaker 1: fulfill certain fantasies and it's only made for you to
Speaker 1: experience certain type of pleasure. I really encourage you to
Speaker 1: break out of that bullshit, like it's holding everybody back,
Speaker 1: holding women back, it's holding shame on women, and it's
Speaker 1: just it's not helping this flow of life. It's not
Speaker 1: you need to like think bigger. You need to be
Speaker 1: more mature. You needed to be more kinky, you need
Speaker 1: to be more open, and you need to be more free.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, talking about you being.
Speaker 3: Pushy. I thought about you this weekend because I was
Speaker 3: like telling someone like, relax, you need to relax, take
Speaker 3: off your jeans, relax. Why are you so like are
Speaker 3: you at peace?
Speaker 1: And then I was talking about us on the boat
Speaker 1: and I was like forcing someone to relax and like
Speaker 1: be touchy feeling, and You're like, you can't just force
Speaker 1: people to be kumbayah with you, bitch. Everyone's not fucking receptive.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I just wanted them to be love.
Speaker 1: I just wanted them to embrace each other and embrace me,
Speaker 1: Like you can't go around trying to kiss everybody in
Speaker 1: your toplessness. I'm like they didn't want to embrace me,
Speaker 1: and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, damn, am I a little forceful? I'm with my flow.
Speaker 1: I'm like I never thought about it that way, but
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm a force fully peaceful bitch.
Speaker 3: You will get all this peace small with me me. Listen.
Speaker 3: I just don't want you to see the next me too.
Speaker 3: She's like, you're gonna get our podcast me too, because
Speaker 3: I won't stop hugging and moaning strangers. I realized it's
Speaker 3: a part of my gift.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to just like I think I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: like break people open and heal them and like.
Speaker 3: Relax release with me. But even I'm a little pushy
Speaker 3: and everyone doesn't want to be.
Speaker 9: Part of honing that gift is knowing when people are
Speaker 9: people are like past the point of like openness and
Speaker 9: now they've totally shut down and they're not going to
Speaker 9: receive anything you're giving them.
Speaker 1: I'm still gonna try them.
Speaker 3: Speaking of sex and speaking of freaky ship and all
Speaker 3: that stuff, and you know, it's Mother's Day, and you
Speaker 3: know we're all mothers because we're fucking so essentially, you know,
Speaker 3: people always shame moms for like enjoying sex and like
Speaker 3: talking and even even I was talking about sex when
Speaker 3: the people always so shocked, like, wow, you guys talk
Speaker 3: about sex so open, name like we have we have kids,
Speaker 3: Like we really we did the thing that like we
Speaker 3: were the God or whatever the Bible or Jesus whoever
Speaker 3: the buck said, were supposed to do it like this deliberate.
Speaker 3: Literally he said, be fruitful and multiply. I listened. Okay,
Speaker 3: and now you don't wait to talk about it? The
Speaker 3: fuck is wrong with you. We have a horror story, guys,
Speaker 3: it's been a while. Who story. Yes, it's horror story
Speaker 3: at claw. If you're just you know, tuning into the
Speaker 3: podcast for the first time, or maybe it's you know,
Speaker 3: you tuned in the middle, you haven't heard what a
Speaker 3: horror story is. A horror story is a highly horrorsh hotel.
Speaker 3: It's either funny, a little scary, a little wild crazy
Speaker 3: level ten socially horsh things. Yes, and we say horrish
Speaker 3: in the best way possible because we love to hear
Speaker 3: from you. And if you guys have any hotels, which
Speaker 3: we had, I've had at least like eight people recently
Speaker 3: tell me they have hotels. And then you guys don't
Speaker 3: send them. It's very annoying, like I don't care if
Speaker 3: you don't tell me, don't give me like three sentences that,
Speaker 3: oh my god, bitch, I had the craziest hotel. I
Speaker 3: can't wait to tell you. And then I say, message
Speaker 3: me and write it beautifully and then you don't. Right, anyway,
Speaker 3: this is a hotel from a listener, And here goes.
Speaker 3: When I was twenty, I started dating a thirty five
Speaker 3: year old man. My digmatized ass, fell into a situationship
Speaker 3: and dealt with a year of physical and mental abuse
Speaker 3: until one night I watched him choke one of the
Speaker 3: women he was cheating on me with, and she pulled
Speaker 3: cheating on me with after she pulled up and was
Speaker 3: screaming up and down the street that she be elbowed
Speaker 3: deep in his ass. Whoa, whoa, whoa, this sounds like amber.
Speaker 3: When she said she said, like Kanye different like that.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think they got it on Twitter. And
Speaker 3: it's just like I'll be fingering your booty hole and
Speaker 3: everybody else you and every nigga, any nigga like a
Speaker 3: little finger in the mood hole. I don't care what
Speaker 3: they say in ninety nine point nine anyway, he lived
Speaker 3: in an apartment with his best friend of twenty years,
Speaker 3: so I ran upstairs to tell him his boy had
Speaker 3: lost his mind. I'm hysterically crying, and this man starts sensually.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so the way, the way, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: I'm hysterically crying and this man starts sensually rubbing my
Speaker 3: back and shoulders. Fast forward to a month later, after
Speaker 3: his friend coached me through leaving him, I went to
Speaker 3: their apartment and fucked his friend, who gave me even
Speaker 3: better dick. My ex heard and recognized my moan. I
Speaker 3: know that he waited for me outside all night. When
Speaker 3: I went to leave, I saw him. He tried to
Speaker 3: come for me, and I told him after what he
Speaker 3: put me through, I wouldn't feel bad fucking his dead,
Speaker 3: but his best friend and nephew was enough and worth
Speaker 3: no weight. Male mau female man nephew too. What's that story? Now?
Speaker 1: This is the thing, fellas, And I'm not saying this
Speaker 1: with bragging, but I'm letting you know. Niggas always want
Speaker 1: to fuck with women. You always want to fuck with
Speaker 1: us and fuck with us and fuck with us and
Speaker 1: push us and push us and push us.
Speaker 3: But no one will ever get the last laugh better
Speaker 3: than a woman, absar. We will fuck your dad, we
Speaker 3: will fuck your uncle, we will fuck your nephew, and
Speaker 3: you will cry. And that's what the fuck you will
Speaker 3: deserve because you're an abusive, fucking asshole. Last thing that
Speaker 3: burns me joy, This is my niggas. This is why
Speaker 3: no one trusts each other. Sign note. We really are
Speaker 3: about building family and community. But when a niggas doing
Speaker 3: some dumb ship, you can do about it. Yo. That
Speaker 3: shit is so true. So whoever heard who said that's
Speaker 3: all r Kelly or Kelly? Yeah? Who ever heard him?
Speaker 3: And you know, actually, yeah, he heard a lot of people. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it's opposed to me that hurt people, hurt people. However,
Speaker 3: a spiteful woman, it's not a woman you want to
Speaker 3: fuck with.
Speaker 1: A woman who is retaliating against your bullshit will always
Speaker 1: always sink her teeth in.
Speaker 3: Baby. I will tell you we could be the most
Speaker 3: loyal creatures.
Speaker 1: We are the most loyal creatures, but when we want
Speaker 1: to get a nigga back, there's really nothing you can
Speaker 1: do about it. Niggas be fucking everybody, the homies, everybody.
Speaker 3: I've heard hella stories from niggas about them. I've heard
Speaker 3: my nick. This nigga told me he fucked the mom,
Speaker 3: his baby mama is the baby mama, the baby mama's
Speaker 3: mom and her sister because he was given serving them weed.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear shit. I don't want to
Speaker 3: hear it. I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 1: Like, just the shame that projected on women, just purely
Speaker 1: because we have a vagina that's not addressed to men
Speaker 1: is so incredibly fucking stupid.
Speaker 3: We're the same, nigga. We are both human, we both
Speaker 3: have feelings, we both like to fuck, we both have fantasies.
Speaker 1: If you don't get it, you're dumb. And if you
Speaker 1: can't accept it, you're dumb. And if you find a
Speaker 1: woman who's willing to pretend like she's down for the bullshit,
Speaker 1: she's cheating on you. So, Yeah, either be monogamous or
Speaker 1: be fair. Amen, Either be monogamous or be equal. We're
Speaker 1: equal If we're not each other's equal, k rocks, I
Speaker 1: don't really know what to tell you.
Speaker 3: I'm talking to myself. You have a little little therapy session.
Speaker 1: With your Yeah, as empowered as we are, as much
Speaker 1: as we talk shit every week, we're still we're still
Speaker 1: have shame associated with so much shame.
Speaker 3: So I've been reading this book the Ethical Slug. I've
Speaker 3: posted it a few times on so I don't know
Speaker 3: if you guys have read it. Shout out to Alessandra
Speaker 3: for sending all the greatest gifts. Yeah, absolu all the time.
Speaker 3: Thank you girl. But this book is going to change
Speaker 3: my life. I'm only like twenty five pages in and
Speaker 3: I literally highlighted every page has at least like ten lines.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm basically highlighting the whole book and like
Speaker 3: reading chapters. I was reading them to one of the
Speaker 3: dudes I'm seeing. I was like, we see this, this
Speaker 3: is why, this is what I need when I say this,
Speaker 3: And it's just really empowering and enlightening when it comes
Speaker 3: to the agreements that we've made around sex and how
Speaker 3: monogamy is really a new thing. It's really like a
Speaker 3: very new tradition.
Speaker 1: I would say every like religion is at the patriarch.
Speaker 1: All of these things that we deeply believe, even if
Speaker 1: we don't believe them, are ingrained in us so deeply,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, this is why we do this,
Speaker 1: This is why we have these conversations because I've talk
Speaker 1: to myself to talk to you, to break ourselves out
Speaker 1: of this bullshit because it's fake.
Speaker 3: It's fake.
Speaker 1: These these systems and beliefs that we hold so dearly,
Speaker 1: subconsciously and consciously are so fucking fake.
Speaker 3: And but they even talk about how monogamy is that
Speaker 3: that's what you choose after reading the book, understanding you
Speaker 3: know all the aspects, and you choose monogamy and then
Speaker 3: that's what you really want. And that's okay because that's
Speaker 3: a form, that's a that's a that's a form of relationship. Obviously,
Speaker 3: like that people choose when they have free choice. If
Speaker 3: there's nothing wrong with monogamy, and like, I don't I'm
Speaker 3: not going to sit here and you know, preach and
Speaker 3: say and you know people that are married, that have
Speaker 3: chosen to be with one person their entire life, and
Speaker 3: that's what they subscribe to you, that you guys are
Speaker 3: fucking wrong and that like that's crazy, that's crazy. Like no,
Speaker 3: like that's works for you, then that works for you.
Speaker 3: But there are so many other ways to love someone.
Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm just is the ethical slight your new Bible.
Speaker 3: I'm just excited to explore that more this month, because
Speaker 3: I think in May we're really we're gonna have a
Speaker 3: few different guests on to talk about sex and the
Speaker 3: history of sex and kind of just explore what we
Speaker 3: want out of sex and love more and what we
Speaker 3: believe in want.
Speaker 1: I think it's important to be like, damn, why do
Speaker 1: I when I say this? When I said damn, I
Speaker 1: kind of want to male male female for somebody like
Speaker 1: a little bit inside of me and cringe a little bit, like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I hope noyone hears this.
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 1: Because I am free, and I like I pride myself
Speaker 1: in that, but also I'm not. There's still parts of
Speaker 1: me that are attached to wanting to be loved and accepted.
Speaker 1: And if you and if I say this out loud,
Speaker 1: can I still be loved and accepted? Can someone still
Speaker 1: want me as their wife or to keep me?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: And like that's the thing, wanting to feel worthy enough
Speaker 3: to be kept. But the truth is wanting to be
Speaker 3: kept in general, you know, the wanting to even be kept.
Speaker 1: Like so so much so that you will disregard your
Speaker 1: own feelings and your own desires and fantasies to appease
Speaker 1: someone else's idea of what you of what you should
Speaker 1: look like, and how you should be, even if that
Speaker 1: person doesn't subscribe to the.
Speaker 3: Same behavior they want you to subscribe to. Huh. Anyway,
Speaker 3: it's late, the kids must go to sleep. Happy Mother's Day, guys.
Speaker 3: I don't want to what you guys are doing for
Speaker 3: Mother's Day, but I hope going to eat like what
Speaker 3: everybody does. You guys, are you know when we get
Speaker 3: some massages. I hope that if you are not during
Speaker 3: the dicktalks, that you get some excellent dick penis or vagina,
Speaker 3: both both together at once or separately, side by side.
Speaker 3: I don't know what I needed to do do it.
Speaker 3: I hope your kids spoil you and on that day
Speaker 3: act right, just for that one day, Like I hope
Speaker 3: those kids just act the fuck right, you know, just
Speaker 3: that one day. I would say, when I have to
Speaker 3: talk a little chat with Irene, be like you know,
Speaker 3: on Sunday, like that's this week is Mother's Day, you know,
Speaker 3: like this this is my week, so please just bear
Speaker 3: with me. What is Mother's Day? Actually?
Speaker 10: Should we ask thee oh yeah, come here, you guys,
Speaker 10: even though we're doing a blog and right in.
Speaker 11: The middle of You're in the middle of a blog.
Speaker 11: What kind of blog are you guys doing? We're doing
Speaker 11: about Oh? Okay, okay, well we wanted to we're in
Speaker 11: the middle of the blog too. We wanted to ask
Speaker 11: you some questions. This week's holiday.
Speaker 3: You know what it is?
Speaker 5: Monday?
Speaker 3: Oh you know what if Mother's Day mean yoursel but
Speaker 3: your mother's how do you celebrate us? Like? Guess that's it?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: What's what's your favorite thing about your mom's what you
Speaker 3: guys have different moms?
Speaker 4: You share ideas? What is what is it a what's
Speaker 4: your favorite thing about me?
Speaker 5: Mama? He always take her your school day?
Speaker 3: That's it? Everything about me?
Speaker 4: That's all you got, girl.
Speaker 12: I know when you get saying about you that you're smart.
Speaker 4: Oh thanks, baby, beink I'm smart.
Speaker 5: I think like you.
Speaker 4: You mm, you are bumpy.
Speaker 3: That's not nice. Listen, your mom has apostrophy now, so
Speaker 3: she's working on that.
Speaker 5: Really think I like it. And when you feed me
Speaker 5: food and as a baby.
Speaker 3: When I sent you food when you're a baby. Right now?
Speaker 3: What about one now? Girl? Do you guys want to
Speaker 3: be moms one day? No?
Speaker 5: No, really no, because the kids will.
Speaker 4: Be Okay, I I know that. I mean, Luna, I
Speaker 4: know you want kids, but I do you want kids? No,
Speaker 4: that's I know.
Speaker 5: I do not want kids.
Speaker 4: That's not what you told me. Irin. You don't have
Speaker 4: to say that just because Luna doesn't.
Speaker 3: Luda, I'm waiting for a better response for your favorite
Speaker 3: thing about me?
Speaker 4: What do you think a job?
Speaker 5: Job is to get money?
Speaker 4: To get money?
Speaker 3: Why do we need money?
Speaker 5: They get to get some money and.
Speaker 3: By some stuff?
Speaker 4: What kind of stuff are we buying?
Speaker 3: Clothes? Well?
Speaker 4: What else does a mom's job besides get money?
Speaker 5: Get that for your kids? Spend time with your kids?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You know you do? You know how much we love you?
Speaker 5: How much I can't?
Speaker 4: Your hands are too little for us to fit it
Speaker 4: all in.
Speaker 5: That b Wait? Do it? I? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Do you think we're good moms? Yes?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Just good? Or like excellent?
Speaker 5: Excellent?
Speaker 4: Good or great?
Speaker 5: Great?
Speaker 4: It's good?
Speaker 3: Bad? No? Are you like one of your best friends?
Speaker 5: Yes? What what you said?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 7: What's one special thing about your relationship with your mom?
Speaker 5: Having fun?
Speaker 3: Having fun?
Speaker 4: That's it, that's all you got for us.
Speaker 7: One special thing about my relationship with you, Luna, is
Speaker 7: I enjoy when we dance together?
Speaker 4: What about you, mem.
Speaker 5: When I do shock tack.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's sweet. One thing that I love to do
Speaker 3: with you, Iri is saying in the car and make
Speaker 3: up songs.
Speaker 5: I do that.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 5: Like you taking me.
Speaker 3: To school to school. That's your favorite thing. Sucks, that's
Speaker 3: your that's it. That's your favorite thing to do with me.
Speaker 3: Not are like dance parties.
Speaker 5: We have dance parties too, or like.
Speaker 3: Our singing competitions. Yeah, or you know all the fun
Speaker 3: activities we do together.
Speaker 12: Yeah, that's all like ski yeah, yeah, cuddles, going in
Speaker 12: the pool. The real thing, right love is ski And
Speaker 12: the real thing I love is skiing and going in
Speaker 12: the pool.
Speaker 3: Can you tell all the moms that are listening, Happy
Speaker 3: Mother's Day.
Speaker 5: Mother's Day bye.
Speaker 3: Just so you guys know, that's like the third time
Speaker 3: we've done that, and it is eleven.
Speaker 4: We gotta go.
Speaker 3: They're delusional and we are too too. I hope you
Speaker 3: guys have a great Mother's Day, Happy man asturbation may,
Speaker 3: happy dick talks, Happy Mother's Day. Take some time for
Speaker 3: yourself and don't feel bad about it, and make sure
Speaker 3: you check out dipsy because on some real shit, those
Speaker 3: the app is fire. It's it's firefirefire, matter of fact,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna listen to it as I go to sleep.
Speaker 4: And that's a good idea, and have some sexy dreams.
Speaker 3: I like that idea. I think I'm gonna do the same.
Speaker 4: All right, We'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 1: Happy sexy dreams, Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 3: Bye.