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Speaker 1: Hey, CUTI misconnections.

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Speaker 2: That was me staring.

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Speaker 1: There's only two places to find true love in this world.

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Speaker 1: One is at the County Fair inside the clown changing room. Oh,

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Speaker 1: where everyone's getting a wet from all the squirting flowers. Oh,

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Speaker 1: something else on the pages of craigslist dot org. We

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Speaker 1: scour that wonderful website every single week to find the

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Speaker 1: best misconnections they have to offer, like this one titled

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Speaker 1: met you at my Grandpa's funeral?

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Speaker 2: Oh oh no.

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Speaker 1: Woman for man mid forties cemetery. I was emotional when

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Speaker 1: I met you last Saturday as I watched you bury

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Speaker 1: my grandpa.

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Speaker 2: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: Out' you unkempt brown matted hair under a wool hat

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Speaker 1: with a rugged five o'clock shadow.

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Speaker 2: I mean I could see it.

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Speaker 1: I think you said your name was Joe or Mo.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't hear it under all your sweet muttering himself.

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Speaker 2: As you shoveled away.

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Speaker 1: You tried to make me feel better by telling me

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Speaker 1: that funerals are an amazing tradition. They throw a great

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Speaker 1: party for you on the one day they know you

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Speaker 1: can't come.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you'd have a.

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Speaker 3: Dark sense of humor if you're the one that's doing

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Speaker 3: that at the cemetery, She.

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Speaker 1: Says, Before I knew it, you became my shoulder to

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Speaker 1: cry on, and you comforted me by saying they're there.

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Speaker 2: You'll be with him soon enough. Oh who that felt

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Speaker 2: like a threat to me.

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Speaker 1: After the crowd left, I lingered, hoping you'd invite me

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Speaker 1: out to an old diner or whatever food establishment most

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Speaker 1: grave diggers.

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Speaker 2: Frequently I would picture Denny's.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but instead you just took your tools, got in

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Speaker 1: your golf cart.

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Speaker 2: And drove to a different plot far away.

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Speaker 3: Too bad.

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Speaker 1: My last image in my head is you leaning on

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Speaker 1: your shovel, giving me a cute, crooked little smile as

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Speaker 1: I could make out at.

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Speaker 2: Least four adorable teeth. Oh. Even this guy can get

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Speaker 2: somebody that wants him. That's from Lisa.

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Speaker 1: This next misconnection is titled met You in the cruise

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Speaker 1: ship Buffet Line seventy seven.

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Speaker 2: This is love, I know it, he says.

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Speaker 1: When I saw you at the breakfast buffet taking the

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Speaker 1: last spoonful of hash browns, I thought two things.

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Speaker 3: One they better have more, this is my thought, love.

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Speaker 3: And two those are going.

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Speaker 2: Straight to your hips, just where I like them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you had red, curly silver hair and your.

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Speaker 2: Giggle captivated the room.

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Speaker 3: But to be honest, your perfumes what drew me in,

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Speaker 3: And then I realized it was just the bake. Oh,

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Speaker 3: bacon perfume does sound pretty money.

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Speaker 2: It would totally work on a lot of guys. He says,

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Speaker 2: you weren't bad neither.

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Speaker 3: I introduced myself as the captain of the ship Small Fib.

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Speaker 3: I invited you over to my table. You inquired about

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Speaker 3: my casual.

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Speaker 1: Outfit, I replied, saying captains have to let loose sometimes, sweetheart,

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Speaker 1: and here's a little secret.

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Speaker 2: Some of us don't even like wearing underwear.

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Speaker 3: Okay, you blushed and I kissed your hand.

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Speaker 2: We agreed to meet in jacuzzie four at midnight.

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Speaker 3: I made. I fell asleep at eight watching a rerun

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Speaker 3: of Beverly Hillburns. When I did get to the tub

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Speaker 3: at two in the morning, you weren't there. All that

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Speaker 3: was left was alone only piece of bacon, next to

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Speaker 3: the bubble button, which I assume you left for me bo.

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Speaker 2: The cruise ended the next day.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, but you know what didn't My VIAGRAA prescription duck, says,

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Speaker 1: my ticker can handle it.

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Speaker 2: The question is can you.

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Speaker 1: I think bacon ladies into it.

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Speaker 2: I hope you hear that. That's from Martin. Make sure

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Speaker 2: you reach out. That was for you.

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Speaker 1: Cruise ships happening. His next misconnection is titled I gave

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Speaker 1: you five dollars and you said nothing. Woman for Man

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Speaker 1: twenty nine Downtown, She says, I saw you performing from

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Speaker 1: across the street. You looked sad and lonely. Oh maybe

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Speaker 1: it was because you had a giant frown painted on

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Speaker 1: your face because you were a real life mime. Oh

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Speaker 1: I've never seen a real life mime. Oh awesome, she says.

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Speaker 1: My heart skipped a beat when you threw an imaginary

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Speaker 1: rope around my waist and pulled me towards you.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: When I took off.

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Speaker 1: The pretend rope, you made me giggle by building me

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Speaker 1: a pretend house, then knocked on my invisible door.

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Speaker 2: Flowers.

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Speaker 1: At one point, I peeked out the imaginary window and

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Speaker 1: said out loud, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, I can't let you in.

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Speaker 1: I don't know you. You became frustrated with my response

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Speaker 1: and attempted to break in using an invisible battering ram alarm.

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Speaker 1: I tried to leave out the pretend back door, but

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Speaker 1: you ran around the other side and imitated me walking

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Speaker 1: in a windstorm.

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Speaker 2: Theater.

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Speaker 1: As your arms flailed and your legs trembled, you suddenly stopped,

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Speaker 1: then pointed to your heart. And that's the first time

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Speaker 1: in my life I ever considered going out with a mine.

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Speaker 1: For the next ten minutes, we sat down on a

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Speaker 1: park bench and shared an invisible meal together. It was

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Speaker 1: delicious and savory, not to mention the invisible wine was incredible.

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Speaker 2: You can't.

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Speaker 3: Right now.

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Speaker 1: Ten minutes later I told you I had to leave,

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Speaker 1: which made invisible tears roll down your cheeks. So I

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Speaker 1: wrote my number down on a five dollars bill and

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Speaker 1: tucked it inside your cap.

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Speaker 2: Oh worth it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah that You smiled ever so gently and quickly built

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Speaker 1: an invisible wall in front of you so you could

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Speaker 1: lift your chin up over it and wave goodbye. I

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Speaker 1: went back the next day and you weren't there. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: So I left you an imaginary note.

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Speaker 3: Oh I hope they get it.

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Speaker 1: If you don't find it, respond to this real one.

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Speaker 1: That's Helen. There are some weird ones this week. Those

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Speaker 1: are misconnections.

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Speaker 2: There's some love, Jeff.

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Speaker 1: After I caught that phone taps coming up in just

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Speaker 1: a few minutes,